Second Cup: Make boundaries positive

Say what you will do, not what you won't

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is to make boundaries positive. There are all sorts
of things we would prefer not to do for reasons

(00:25):
of work life balance, But rather than make these sound
negative and focused on what we won't do, we can
point out what we still can do, because it's usually
still a lot. Today's tip, like some others this week,
comes from Laura May Martin's new book up Time. Martin

(00:47):
is Google's productivity guru, and she coaches executives there on
how to be more efficient. In her book, she notes
that the bridge between boundaries and approachability is the right communication.
The best way to communicate boundaries is to frame from
the positive. You highlight what you will do, not what

(01:12):
you won't. So, for example, I don't take meetings on
Fridays becomes I take meetings Monday to Thursday. I don't
instant message outside my work hours becomes I'm available by
messaging between seven am and five pm. I'm not taking
any new clients right now becomes something like I'm taking

(01:35):
new clients starting in July and I don't have time
during the week to meet about this topic becomes I
have office hours every Friday where I can meet on
this topic. All of these statements get at the exact
same thing, but they sound so much more positive. Wow,

(01:57):
this person is available by messaging for ten hours every day.
That's a lot, So why even call attention to the
fact that they won't be signed onto the messaging system
at five point thirty pm. As for the boundary that
you are not taking new clients immediately but probably will
in the future, it just sounds like you are creating options.

(02:18):
How wonderful. The person who wants to work with you
can decide to wait until you are accepting new clients again,
or they cannot wait, but that makes them feel like
they have a choice. You remain approachable. I really like
this idea. I should note here that I personally don't

(02:40):
maintain a whole lot of strict work in life boundaries
in my schedule. I work for myself with a lot
of flexibility. One result of that is that I inevitably
wind up doing personal stuff during work hours. That means
that if the work still needs to get done, I
do work things what many people consider personal hours, and

(03:03):
that is fine with me, but for those with more
regimented schedules, boundaries can make life feel a lot more sustainable.
People might feel awkward about setting and sticking to boundaries,
but when they are framed in a positive light, it
all feels so much more congenial, and that makes people

(03:27):
more likely to honor them because these boundaries seem reasonable.
Maybe they won't honor them all the time, but a
lot of the time, and that can make all the
difference in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening,

(03:48):
and here's to making the most of our time. Thanks
for listening to Before Bread. If you've got questions, ideas,
or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura
vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.

(04:16):
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