Similarities lead to liking

Figuring out what you have in common with people makes any interaction go better

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that similarities lead to liking, So when you
encounter someone new, by highlighting things you share, you may

(00:28):
be able to connect more quickly. Today's tip, like some
other ones will be doing soon, comes from Robert Chaldeeni's
book Pre Suasion, A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade.
In Pre Suasion, Chaldeeny asserts that similarities lead to liking,

(00:48):
which makes sense. If you share common interests or a
common background with somebody, it can be easier to connect
and get to know each other, but can lead to
liking in more unexpected ways too. For instance, Chldeiny notes
that servers who are coached on echoing their customer's manner

(01:10):
of speaking were able to increase their tips. Random similarities
apparently pave the way for liking too. This insight will
pop up all over the place once you recognize it.
If you rent cars frequently when you travel, My hunch
is that you have had a lot of conversations with

(01:32):
rental car agents about your home state. You hand over
your driver's license and the agent says something like Tennessee
Peyton Manning was the best quarterback of all time. Then
you connect over your shared love of Tennessee football. Maybe
the next time you rent a car you find out that,

(01:53):
what a coincidence, the rental car agent's aunt lives in Nashville.
Maybe another time, the agent wants to go to Dollywood
next summer. Suddenly you are starting to wonder whether people
from Tennessee or whatever your home state is make up
a disproportionate number of rental car agents. Now that could

(02:13):
be the case, but my guess is that the managers
who train agents know what Chaldeani pointed out. We like
people that we perceive as similar So if you want
a customer to like you, you point out a similarity.
Since rental car agents have to look at people's driver's licenses,

(02:35):
this is a quick way to find something to talk about.
Probably every rental car agent can make some sort of
connection to a state where many of their renters come from.
When they start a conversation about your home state, you
feel connected. This similarity foster's liking, so you can cheerfully

(02:57):
pass the time while the agent completes your paperwork. If
an issue comes up, like them not having the sized
car that you reserved. You are predisposed to liking the
agent at this point, so everybody stays more calm. If
rental car agents can do this easily, so can you.

(03:19):
While you don't want to be manipulative, spotting similarities can
be helpful in many contexts. At the farmer's market, you
might notice that one of the vendors is wearing a
Chicago Cubs baseball hat. You let them know that you
are a fan too. Next thing you know, you are
getting too sample the peach crisp that is that vendor's specialty.

(03:44):
When you're sitting on the patio of a brewery and
a golden doodle wanders over, you could pet the dog
and let the owner know you have a golden doodle
at home as well. Next thing you know, you are
talking about a great dog groomer she just found who
has much more convenient appointment times than the place you
have been going. These similarities make for easy conversations, which

(04:10):
makes life feel a little more cheerful. We are positively
disposed to people, and suddenly we are no longer strangers.
In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks for listening and
here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for

(04:39):
listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,
you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts
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(05:02):
wherever you listen to your favorite shows.