Would you swap?

Put yourself in someone else's position to communicate more effectively

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that when you feel impatient or irritated with
another person, consider whether you would want to swap situations

(00:25):
with them. Often, thinking about what they might be dealing
with can nudgus toward a little more empathy, or at
least suggest more effective ways of communicating with them. So
I recently heard of a person complaining about an interaction
with a difficult colleague, but then saying I wouldn't want

(00:46):
to swap inboxes with her. In other words, yes, the
person is a pain to work with, but she has
a job that is often tedious and difficult, and her
inbox is one headache after another, so perhaps she warrants
a little compassion. I think it is a good mindset

(01:09):
in general. When someone is behaving badly, think would you
want to swap with them? I sometimes get irritated when
someone honks or does something rude while driving, but I
try to think, well, hey, I am driving back to
my beautiful family and my beautiful home, and I have
no idea what that person is so upset with in life.

(01:31):
But I have no good reason to be wouldn't want
to swap. When you are frustrated with your interactions with someone,
it might help to imagine you had their inbox, their
to do list, their calendar, their irritations, their stresses. That
person who is kurt at the store may have been
dealing with rude customers all day. The stressed physician may

(01:55):
have just been delivering bad news to three patients in
a row. Rightful for you. That doesn't mean it's okay
to be grumpy or impatient, but if you pictured yourself
swapping situations with the person, you might feel pretty irritated
with the world as well. Even people you know reasonably
well can have their trials. You might actually know more

(02:18):
about these when you think about it. It is annoying
to hear from a former colleague exactly twice a year,
and always when she needs something from you, But hey,
it would be frustrating to have gone through a series
of jobs in rapid succession and to be repeatedly doing
this networking from a place of need. You wouldn't want

(02:39):
to swap with that situation. Realizing that will probably nudge
you to help if you can, if nothing else, Asking
what it would be like to swap with a person
might give you ideas for better communication. For instance, if
your kids are grown up, but a colleague has three

(02:59):
children ages six and under who need to be delivered
to separate daycares and before school programs each day, you
might recognize that swapping your morning routines would make you
stress too. This is not the time to be texting
your colleague with last minute requests for your nine am meeting.
Best to get those in the day before. If you

(03:22):
know someone gets a ton of email, if you picture
yourself with that inbox, you'd know that you would want
six sync messages with the question in the subject line,
So send those kinds of emails to that person. We
can never understand another person's experience fully, but when we

(03:44):
give a little thought to what it could be like
to swap with them, we may find ourselves being more
patient and perhaps more effective. Those are always good things.
In the meantime, This is Laura, Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for

(04:12):
listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,
you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts
from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

(04:35):
wherever you listen to your favorite shows.