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August 7, 2019 28 mins

In our inaugural episode of Parklandia, hosts Matt and Brad bring friends along for a murder mystery train ride and explore the true comeback story of Cuyahoga Valley National Park, which went from notoriously polluted to winning the Oscars of rivers.

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
When you think about national parks, what do you think
of majestic waterfalls? But what about murder, mysteries and wine? Now,
well then you need to hear about Kyahoga Valley National Park. Hi,
I'm Matt and I'm Brad and this is park Landia
show about our life on the road. Just the two
of us are r V and our dog Finn. This

(00:21):
episode we're headed in northeastern Ohio to talk about the
fun and the food you can find there and about
the comeback story at the center of this very young
national park. All aboard. So when most people think of
national parks, murder mystery train rides probably aren't the first
things that come to mind. After all, this is the

(00:43):
National Park Service and not an agatheth Christie novel, which
I just found out she sells seconds to the Bible
in book. Yes, I know, it's the It's God and
Agathe Christie. I'm all about that life. It's one of
the most exciting and unexpected charms about Ohio. Is like
Kyahoga Kayahoga Valley. That's a Turkey one. Yeah, let me

(01:05):
help me out here. Kuyahoga Valley. He's my grammar corrector
and appreciate it. It's always happy to correct you. So
I really want to set the scene here. Um, we
started off on this Murder Mystery Train ride and it's
like an old timey train that travels directly through the
park and it has like all these themed rides. For me,

(01:28):
I just heard this rolling, thunderous sounds of the tracks
and you just sway back and forth and you're seeing
the lush trees and the rivers and the roads zoom by.
But it was just so much fun because it really
set the tone for that Murder Mystery Train ride. Yeah. Yeah,
it's a very old timey vantage experience. You feel almost
like you're out in the wild West, just kind of

(01:48):
chugging along through this like vast, like natural scenery, and
it's it's just so different from what we were accustomed
to where you used to like this Eta in Chicago,
which is nowhere nearest Charming. So this was a great
little for a into one of the Midwest National parks.

(02:10):
That what I love about the train is all the
different themed rides you can do, like you mentioned one
of which they do like Polar Express ride with Pajamas,
Naha Coco, and then of course the one we did
the Murder Mystery Ride. They also do others which are
just like wine tastings and beer. The craft beer one
was amazing. They left the craft beer there so we

(02:31):
were able to buy it for the Murder Mystery Dinner
reap the rewards. And as someone who loves Murder mr
Dinner parties almost as much as I love National Parks, um,
the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Road is really like my own
personal ven diagram of things that make me happy. I
was on cloud nine that two of my most beloved
activities are combined in one for the first time ever,

(02:53):
and we we it's a great thing to do Murder
Mysteries obviously, the more the merrier. So we had this
at all double date summer weekend with our friends from Chicago,
Louise and Andrew, and drove out to camp and ride
the train and explore the part together. Now it was
Louisa's birthday and so we had campfires and I think

(03:15):
there's like a arkle zone in there at one point. Yes,
great time. Uh. And also tying it back to my
obsession with murder mysteries, I I personally felt like this
was my redeeming opportunity because a few months prior to this,
I had a very failed attempt at hosting one of
these at our loft in Chicago. UM went through the

(03:37):
great effort of sending out invitations and assigned people characters
and creating a set themed menu. It was like Italian
mafia theme, but turns out it wasn't a murder mystery
at all. I just neglected to read the instructions in
the box before blindly standing invitations, and it was actually
just mafia trivia. And nobody understood it, because why would we.
We don't read up on like nies gangsters all the time. So,

(04:01):
and this is why I host the Murder Mystery dinners
and you don't exactly. Yeah, I think it's for the
best stud either you host them or Tuyahoga Valley host them.
It's not for me. Uh And And the other great
thing about it that going to the National Park was
this also gave us the opportunity to dress in theme,

(04:23):
and you better believe that we did. I wore a
vest and boots and a wide brimmed hat that was
so convincingly on brand that employees on the train thought
I was a cast member. They actually tried to confiscate
the hat when the ride was over because they thought
I was stealing a prop or something. It was my hat,
And as you probably would expect, the whole evening was

(04:46):
kind of a blur, a wonderful blur, different characters popping
up as we ate. I was really bad at this
murder mystery ride, like normally, but like it was just
so much fun just with the ambience, Like it didn't
even have to be involved in the game to just
enjoy what was going on different and it was just
it was so beautiful. Yeah, yeah, it was really wonderful.

(05:09):
I was the only one from our group to randomly
luck out and guests correctly, and much to my delight,
I got a special certificate with my name on it.
So even though I wasn't taking notes and I wasn't
being the responsible participant, I emerged victorious, you might say,
so clearly the truck was off to a great start. Yeah.

(05:32):
I really think that the train ride was just fun
and it was silly. It was perfect to do as
like a double date or a group There's so much
more to Kaohaka Valley than the train ride, though. I Mean,
this place was just like it's fascinating with like the
amount of history it has. The river from the Native

(06:04):
American tribes and the flaming rivers. Yes, that's right. The
Kuyahoga River was so polluted with oils, chemicals, and gases
that actually caught fire more than a dozen times between
eighteen sixty eight and eighteen sixty nine. I mean, if
you just wrap your head around the mental image of
a river on fire, I mean, this was clearly a
place that needed conservation. Yeah, I mean, if water is burning,

(06:27):
you have a problem on your hands. Long before senior
rowers were hosting murder mysteries here, uh, this park was
home territory for the Iroquois tribe, and they gave the
Kuyahoga River its namesake. It actually means crooked in Iroquois language,
and the river was used largely as their trade route

(06:48):
for hundreds and hundreds of years, So this was a
very valuable resource for them before it became like bastardized
included and the Native Americans weren't the only ones that
use the river for trade though, right, No, no, not
at all. Yeah, they started it, named it and adapted
it for that. But then circa I mean eighteen seven
is when the Ohio and Erie Canal is completed, which
connected the Great Lakes with the Gulf of Mexico via

(07:11):
the Cuyahoga River Mississippi River, and it opened the floodgates
for increasing shipping. Yeah, and not only shipping, but like
horrible amounts of pollution. Um. So of course with increased
population and commercialization comes unfortunate side effects like chemicals and
gases pouring into the river. Yeah. But then like Time

(07:35):
magazine came out with like this, this article or this
you know, like main centerfold for Time magazine, and it
played a role not and only saving the river but
setting up the area for the national park status. Um.
This was after around the last river fire. And like
I believe nineteen sixty nine that Time wrote that the

(07:55):
Kuyahoga River oozes rather than flows, and a person does
not drowne but decays I mean, brutal takedown. Hard to read, um,
But honestly, as savage is, that article was. It had
great repercussions because it prompted an environmental movement to pass

(08:16):
water holiday legislation for the river. It really put a
spotlight on this place in a huge new way, and
it got the federal government looking at it, which was
great because clearly it had been neglected to the point
that it was routinely burning. And in nine it are
in production as a National Recreation area, finally giving it

(08:37):
some sort of ecological benefits and putting out halt to
the steady ongoing pollution. And I love that it was
upgraded to a National park in two thousand. Oh yeah,
so a relatively young national park and picture a lot
of the other places in the National park system. But
even today, although the park gets more than two million

(08:58):
annual visitors, which is a shock came out. That's that's
a lot. That's like half as much as Yellowstone and
a lot more than most places. You better believe that
none of those two million people are polluting that river anymore. Yeah,
that's no more of that. The Kahoga River has come
a long way since it's fiery days. But that's the
beauty of it. You know, by protecting and preserving the land,

(09:20):
we can bring things back from fiery death. And I mean,
I'm just being over dramatic here, but but you know,
there's but even with saying that, it can do so much,
but we still have a long way to go. I mean,
the water is still not fit for swimming. The boating
is not recommended. Any fish caught in the river probably

(09:42):
have like ten eyes like in that Simpsons episode. But yeah,
you know, hey progress, right, I know, right, unless you're
a gollum from Lord of the Rings, he probably shouldn't
eat that fish. Um. But I mean, this is it's
a great comeback story. Really, this this National Park and
this river specifically, I want to give uh rout of
applause because in two thousand nineteen, the Kyoga River was

(10:04):
actually named River of the Year by the American Rivers
Conservation Group. That's like the oscars of rivers, and it's
especially poetic because the award comes literally fifty years after
the last fire, so the timing could not be better.
It's beautiful. I love it. I mean, like Kiahoga Valley
National Park, it's at its core, it's the true comeback

(10:24):
story of the underdog, you know, and it's fight for life.
I mean, as you've you've been joked the sesame Street
lesson of the day. When we focus on our efforts
for conservation, we can really make a great impact, not
only underparks, but our local communities. Yes, I mean, you know,
well I'm sorry now that we clubbed you over the
head with this p s A about conservation. We're going

(10:46):
to take a quick break when we come back. We
definitely did more on Gioga Valley and dress up for
Murder Mystery. We'll hit the trails after this. Welcome back.
I'm Brad, I'm Matt. This is park Landia Dreyse. Let's
talk about our time in the park. I mean, because
we definitely did a lot more in Kaoga Valley than
dress and theme for Murder Mystery. Train run right, though,

(11:08):
Let's be clear, I would gladly just wear that same
outfit in theme the entire duration I know of in
the bathroom with that alpha and just checking yourself. Yeah,
I mean, aside from the hat, it's definitely enough that
I would just wear it normally. Um So. Funnily enough,
the timing of this trip was kind of weird and

(11:29):
wonderful because it was like our last camping hurrah before
we got the r V. It was we really only
a couple of weeks before we purchased the r V,
so this was like an early August time period. We
went to k A Campground. Shout out to k o A,
we love you, We're obsessed with you. Um. So it
was us and our two friends. Um we brought along.

(11:52):
We have this big, really spacious tent, so we brought that.
The ka was not in the park, but it was nearby.
It was probably like ten fifteen minutes easy, wonderful, little
clean park with a swimming pool, a giant chessboard, fire pits.
It was lovely and just perfect. The weather was great. Brad,

(12:14):
how does go pro with him? So we took a
few underwater photos of the pool, and, much to my dismay,
I don't look nearly as glamorous underwater as people in
movies do. Lies you look glamorous all the time. Okay, stop,
I'll stop being cheesy long enough to talk about our hike,
the brand new Wine Falls trail. But that's only because
I really want to talk about this trail. Oh yeah,

(12:35):
I mean it's the cream of the crop in Kyoga Valley.
I mean, if you have one time for one trail,
you'd better make it this one. I mean, after all,
like Kaohoga Valley is known for its waterfalls. Actually more
than how many, Um, there's like more than seventy waterfalls here.
It's basically a TLC video. Yeah, and Brand New Wine
Falls is the Beyonce headlining Coachella and making a movie

(12:57):
about it kind of trail. I love it. I love
all the R and B references. It's perfect. Yeah. So
bran New Wine Falls is by far the most popular
trail UH in Kuyahoga Valley. So if you've got time
to do one thing a year, you've got to do
Brand New wind Falls, especially since it's it's very accessible.
It's an easy trail to do, even if you do

(13:19):
it like us. When we we were there was humidity,
like I felt like we're hiking in a sauna. But yeah,
super family friendly. I mean, it's not long. It's only
about like one to five miles round trip, I'd say
less than a mile and a half. And most of
the trail is wooden boardwalk um with not much elevation

(13:40):
change aside from like steps that go up and down.
But it's really not it's nothing. It's like you just
go into the woods, which provides a nice like cooling
element and lots of shade from the humidity. It really
helped a lot. And then you kind of wind along
on this cliff face, a kind of braw cliff face,

(14:01):
go down a few steps and then it all opens
up to the viewing area by the head of the falls.
It's great. It's definitely got the wild factor. Yeah, it's
it's a popular trail. But even though it's crowded, um,
you know, it's not that bad. I mean, there were
a lot of people there when we were there, and
you know, but there's still plenty of room on the
trail and at the viewing area to just like really

(14:23):
enjoy that moment. I mean, yeah, there's plenty of room
for everybody. And I thought the waterfall is really particularly unique.
I've never really seen a waterfall like this when when
you think of waterfalls, you at least I tend to
think of like ones that are kind of steep and
just kind of cascade down, whether it's like in thin
ribbons or something huge like now your falls. But brand

(14:45):
New Wine Falls is this like wide river creek that
almost it's felt to me more like a fast paced trickle. Um.
There's a lot of water, granted, but it kind of
uh pours in like drapes over this like really jagged
rocky face, creating this really distinct visual misty. Very It's

(15:09):
it's really special, and the fact that it's so surrounded
by the super bright green trees is quite the visual
It's very striking. Yeah. I love listening to the sounds
of waterfalls, just that actual there it thunderous, I guess
is the theme of the day. But it's like this
thunderous sound, but it's like not overwhelming. It's just I

(15:30):
feel like it flows, you know, and like it's I
always get reset from the sounds of National Parks more
than just the visuals as well. But I mean, you know,
we didn't see a lot of like wildlife on this trail. Yeah,
not so much like a couple of chipmunks and squirrels,
but um, but yeah, I mean you can view most
of those through like when you're walking down the boardwalk,

(15:50):
but you won't see much else like animal wise. But
you do see a lot of like lush greenery. You
hear the sounds and the people and that's kind of
fun too, is like the people watching. You know, you
see families with their kids, you see couples. Um, you
have us crazy for you know. Yeah, it's great. It's
great for people watching. It's great for squirrel watching. Um.

(16:11):
The colors just really pop in this little forest section here.
It's like really rich browns trees. The green was like
almost neon, it was so bright. Um, but we will,
like we mentioned, it gets in TENSEI it kind of crowded.
So if you're averse to that sort of thing, or
you want more of a sense of surrendering, you definitely
recommend not visiting on like a summer weekend or a

(16:35):
fall weekend when the foliage is like hitting its peak,
because people will definitely flock here for that. Enough chasing waterfalls.
After a break, we'll answer everyone's first question upon arriving
in a national park? Where can I get a glass
of rose? We're back. I'm Matt and I'm brand This
is park Landia food. When you get back from the

(16:58):
trails um once they that we found was the winery.
Oh yes, how can we forget? Yes? This uh, this winery,
this tasting room. It was big. I mean it's loft,
like what was the name of that winery? Sarah's Vineyard?
Sara's Vineyard, which was a huge surprise. That's so great.
I mean it doubled as an art gallery and there's
a patio with a deck. You can you see this

(17:20):
beautiful view of the vineyard in the back. I mean
it's a really fun and funky, lofty space, you know,
and they have plenty of good food, but um, including
overwhelming the huge portrait. I remember Louise had like a
bit of a moment with those nachos. I think she
just won a little snack and it came out in
a whirl barrel basically, and it was it was overwhelming,

(17:44):
for sure, but we're not mad, Sarah, keep on doing
your thing. Yeah, but then we had what was that
ravios um which ravioli parogis super dumplings with homemade marinera
and feelings like a telling sausage or spinach and mushroom. Yeah.
I mean, like those things were amazing. Yeah, it was.

(18:06):
It's kind of strange because ravioli and pro gear both
just pretty much the same thing anyway, So I don't
know that those needed to be formed into one, but
I'm fine with it. I mean, in general of the
Rabbi Yogi is that the fact that there's a winery
here in the park. It's pretty impressive and very unexpected.
I had no idea that was there until we were

(18:27):
in the park, and just I think we went here
because we wanted to cool off. It was just so
humid and muggy, and we're like, I can't move anymore.
I need white wine, chilled white wine, maybe a rose,
maybe a ravioli creation, maybe a rose griggio blending. Absolutely yeah.

(18:52):
So I mean, obviously this isn't Napa Valley or anything,
so they're limited to what they can grow any Honestly,
you shouldn't come here expecting anything mind blowing. But like
they did. They do grow like Cabernet, Fronc and Niagara
and Vidal, and it was impressive and the vineyards were
beautiful and really majestic, looking very well manicured. And this

(19:14):
is just exactly the type of thing you want. When
it's a scorching summer day, you just want to drink
a caraffe of chilled Niagara wine. But in the mornings,
you know what I want. I want to visit my diners.
M plenty of those, just a couple. But I have
to take a moment to talk about how there's Hash

(19:37):
Browns and then there's home fries. Okay, home fries or not.
For me, I'm a hashbrown guy. And what I found
out is that there's like this war on Hash Brown's
versus home fries, and about every other place we visit,
it's home fries as they're like go to or hash Browns.
So a p s at all those diners out there,

(19:57):
I want to see hash Browns, crispy hash Browns in
your dinner. Well did these We went to a couple
of diners from in here. I don't remember whether their
hash brown home fry situation was like they had as Browns.
I like both, so I feel like I just I
don't get heated about it. I am passionate about its passions.

(20:18):
It is. I have passions about silly things. Yeah, well
it's also good. These are like diner, especially once with
the cash browns and chicken fried whatever and pancakes like
these are really the best types of places to go
in the morning before hitting up in National Park because
you need the fuel. And it also kind of it
feels very poetic and nice to do something so Americana

(20:40):
before you go to National Park, which it doesn't get
more Americana than that. And this is the one thing
about the RV life versus the camping life is camping
you kind of go out to eat a lot. Versus
our V life, we can actually eat a little bit
healthier because I remember that night that we ordered the
pizzas or the campsite, I went and picked him up,
um and you know, bring it back. I mean, pizza

(21:01):
is my favorite meal of choice. But I just think
that I'm glad that we have the RV now so
we can eat a little bit healthier and you know
last junk food because the junk food there, let me
tell you it's endless. Yeah, it definitely is. And you
know when in Rome and when we're you know, hopping
from Murder Mystery train to different diners, it's all while

(21:24):
I'm good and yeah, it just it was fun. We
had a very fun time doing that and Poppy around together.
I remember like doing um, a long trail together as well.
I think this, I think this was pretty vineyard. This
is probably the the thing that broke us was the
fact that like we went in this long winding trail

(21:46):
through the woods and it was really great. It was
a good hike. Um, but again like just almost unbearably human,
Like you would step into the sun, you're just like
I could catch on fire now. Definitely got hot, yes
it did. And it was a long one. And we're
desperate for water or more water, I should say, because
we were chucking it um and then we just reached
the point where we're trying to find the end of

(22:06):
it or circling around or something. And I remember I
kept leading us in the wrong direction. I was so confident, like, yes,
it's this way, and then we would go for a
ways and it's like, no, it's not. And I did
that like three times. I just assumed it like formed
a big loop, but it was not the case. We
needed to just go backwards from where we came. My favorite. Well,

(22:30):
I feel like we have covered quite a bit of
Kahoga Valley National Park, but I we are starting the
segment and it's probably one of my favorite things. And
what was your favorite thing of Kyahoga National Valley My favorite? Well,
because we haven't told each other, right, I feel like
it's going to be super obvious this time. It's the

(22:53):
the murder mystery thing. I'm I was like geeking out
like crazy over that. And and even though it wasn't
like glamorous or super elaborate or anything like that, it's
still a really unique, fun opportunity to get dressed up
and do something in theme that you would not necessarily
do on a regular basis unless you have a weird obsession,

(23:16):
which I'm like getting close to that level anyway, but
really fun to do in an environment like this, which
is kind of nuts, like I kind of thing, Um yeah, yeah,
I mean this really just this train ride really just
took over my life that weekend. And if there are
three things that I would recommend bringing to Kuyaoga Valley

(23:40):
National Park, I would bring themed train ride, attire check, uh,
an appetite check, plenty of plenty of diners and pizza
and uh, weird train food to go around, and then
you got to bring friends. This is a really good
park for that. Um. Not only yeah, not only for
the train ride, but I feel like this the fact

(24:00):
that the trails here are not very difficult, and this
isn't like a very hard core intimidating park. I feel
like it's more appropriate for like a wider array of people,
uh and friends and family, and like it's a great
place to bring a group because everybody can enjoy it
and everybody loves a good waterfall, of course. I mean, honestly,

(24:21):
my favorite three things were actually at the Campground of America.
I loved bringing my go pro so we could go
swimming and like you know, just spending time, you know,
especially with Louise and Andrew. I loved spending time with them,
you know. That was probably one of my favorite memories
of this National Park, was all the things we could
do together and and just how beautiful that was. I mean,

(24:44):
sitting around the campfire at night, you know, just relaxing,
having a couple of drinks and just enjoying those moments
was so beautiful. Which that's too firewood and go pro
or two other things out to bring. And the third
one would be is to don't forget the air mattress
and bringing air mattress because otherwise Matt will make me
go to Wally World in the middle of the night

(25:07):
to go buy one. I can't. Yeah, I mean, a
miserable thing to do at midnight. Luckily I don't even remember,
and I honestly don't even remember that at all. You
were drinking. I was, oh, yeah, I like, yeah, I
like how you were. You said, a couple of drinks,
being really conservative with that. Well, I'm just quietly giggling. Yeah,

(25:27):
oh man, I think that my dream vacation, which I
think this is yours too, would be to actually stay
at the inn in brand new wine Falls because it's
a beautiful historic house right in the park. Yeah. Yeah,
it looks like it's just this old like farm style house,
kind of in the middle of the woods. Um. But
the thing I love most about from how it looks

(25:50):
is it reminds me of the house from the Family Stone,
if you're if everyone's familiar with that wonderful gem of movie. Um. Yeah.
And now that we're on the subject of dreams in
Family Stone, I would also like to just suggest that
Sarahdestica Parker become a park range you here, because that
would really just round it out for me. Dream dream trip. Yeah,

(26:13):
and we can both agree on the wine theme train ride, right,
so I would have I would do that in a heartbeat. Yeah. Yeah,
or really any I would do anything on that train.
While it isn't a musty place before you die, I
would definitely recommend going with friends. Yeah totally. It's great
for friends, great for family, great for most time of year,

(26:33):
probably too. Obviously it's the Midwest, so it gets cold
and snowy and icy in the winter, but it's a
it's a wonderful place. It's also conveniently close to Cleveland,
so very doable from the city. Um. It's probably speaks
to why it's so popular and get such high visitation
because it's so drivable or bike able or whatever. However

(26:53):
motor transportation you want to take into here. And also
another thing that kind of sets it apart is compared
to a lot of other National parks, Gyoka Valley is
really about so much history. Less so like the hikes,
especially like hardcore hiking and stuff like that, and not
like boating and whatnot. But it's more about the history
and just how fascinating it was. I can't not unless

(27:17):
you want to become a mutant or something. Yeah, well
the river still has more healing to do, but that's
the beautiful thing about the protection status of the national park. Yes,
and see what this is done. I mean, this is
just it's a very like tangible example of what national
power protection can do for a place because literally fifty
years ago this place was burning on the regular and

(27:40):
now it's when burning man fun, not fun burning. This
is like terrifying burning caused by pollution and chemicals. And
now fast forward fifty years later and it's winning basically
the Oscar of rivers. So congratulations to Kyoka Valley. They've
come a long way you've been listening to park Landia.

(28:04):
The show was created by us Matt and Brad Carollac
along with Christopher hasiotis our executive producer is. Christopher hasiotis
produced and edited by Mike Johns. If you're not already subscribe,
you can make sure you never miss an episode by
subscribing to the show on Apple podcast, the I Heart
Radio app, or anywhere you get your podcasts. We take
a lot of pictures in the road. Follow us at
park Landia podcast dot com and on Facebook and Instagram

(28:27):
at park Landia Podcast. Special thanks to Gabrielle Collins, Crystal Waters,
and the rest of the park Landia crew, but we
always want to thank you for listening.

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