February 12, 2026 • 27 mins
Ptolemy II was known for a lot of things, none of which involved being humble. In the newest installment of this continuing series, Ben, Noel and Max explore the ridiculous story of the Lighthouse of Alexandria.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to
(00:27):
the show, fellow Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as always so
much for tuning in. Let's hear it for the Man,
the Myth, the Legend, our super producer, mister Max no
Red Light Williams.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
The Wonder of your own Heart.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
The eleventh Wonder. How many wonders are there?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Agains of the ancient world.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
I don't know. I don't know why I whipped out eleven.
That is, it's just a number. That that's fun, fun
for me.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Noel, It's good to see you again. Man. I don't
want to sound weird, but Jordan Noel Brown, I've been
bullying and I missed you a little bit.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
It's okay, Ben, You're allowed to miss me. I missed
you too. We've both been on what did It's true.
It's true. The myths and the legends and the stories
are true. We've both been on various adventures across this
great wide world of sport. And now we're back reconvened
talking about a lighthouse, A mythical lighthouse. Well that's a
(01:31):
mythical I don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
This is the thing. Okay, So we are returning to
one of our favorite series, an ongoing exploration of Wonders
of the World, and you and I and our research
associate for this episode, Max, we just had a brief
(01:53):
bit of banter that didn't make it on air where
you and I were talking about how many wonders are
in the world. I was wondering, Yeah, you were saying eleven,
and I said that sounds like a good number. And
then Max popped in and said, ah, guys, this is
(02:14):
our series about the ancient wonders.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yes, of course, yeah, and there's only seven of them,
which is hotly debated because what makes a wonder a wonder? Well,
one day we will attempt to answer that.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Well, seven is also a fun number, meaningful seven goes
to heaven eleven seven eleven. Anyway, they're related somehow.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Oh my god, you guys knows about the wrap.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
No, not me, never, not in a million years. Not
my wheelhouse. I stay in my lane, and today my
lane does involve our lane involves historical lighthouses or a
historical lighthouse great indeed, the Great Lighthouse of Alexandria.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
So not our wheelhouse, but our lighthouse. We're going to
start with diving into the context Okay, everybody knows the
idea of a lighthouse, right. It's a big tower along
(03:15):
the coast, right, And the idea is a lighthouse will
let you, as a sailor, know when you were about
to hit the dirt and.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
They run aground, as they say in nautical parlance.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
So there's this city called Alexandria, and it is named
in a burst of humility after a guy who calls
himself Alexander the Great.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, and Alexander the Great founded the city which he
named after himself and the aforementioned burst of humility and
three point thirty two BCE after the start of one
of his many war campaigns. He liked to start beef
with folks, and this was beef with Persia, the Persian Campaign.
(04:08):
He made it the capital of his new dominion, the
Egyptian Dominion, and established a naval base there where he
would wield naval control over the whole of the Mediterranean.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Again, super humble.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah, guy, probably fun at parties. I mean sure, I
don't know. I bet he was a good hang.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I bet I bet he was a good like thirty
five minute hang.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
I do imagine he likes to talk about himself a
bit but after Alex, our buddy, not Alex Williams, who
composed this theme, left Egypt. I love this, This is
this title of a viceroy. I guess I'm always thinking
of the Star the Star Wars thing. Wasn't there like
a vice, Those little flabby mouth alien guys wanted the
viceroys in the trade, the walcades and all that stuff.
(04:59):
We got a roy here named Cleomenes, Cleominas, Cleomenes, I'm
gonna say, Cleomenes nail. He continued in the creation of
this capital city of Alexandria in Alex's instead when he
was off warring it up you know elsewhere.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, yeah, famously beefy guy r Pal Alexander. Alexander dies
in three twenty three BCE, and as you said, Noel,
the viceroy takes control, and another viceroy shows up Ptolemy,
and Ptolemy founds the dynasty. So this takes us now
(05:43):
to what our pale Max likes to call the who,
not the band, just the who of whom constructed this
great lighthouse called an ancient wonder. So Ptolome Sojer is
(06:04):
born in Macedonia. He dies in Egypt. He's a Macedonian
general of Alexander the Great, and he ultimately this guy Ptoleme,
he founds the Ptolemaic dynasty. And since we are an
audio show, I guess we have to tell people the
(06:26):
pronunciation of Ptolemy is not the same way it's spelled.
There's a silent letter.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
I love a silent pe Remember the song Friends of
P by the Rentals?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I loved it? Right? Is that the guy who was the.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Bassist from Weezer, Matt Sharp, Yeah, he was the bassist
from Weezer. I've been on a Friends of Pea kick
recently when a friend of mine was visiting from Saint
Louis and we had one of those like YouTube diving
evenings with a little bit It might may have been
a few glasses of wine involved, but I rocked out
the video of Friends of Pea. So that's all who's
(07:00):
been stuck in my head. This is silent P. Not
to be confused also with the Lies of P, which
apparently really cool, very difficult souls like game that it
looks really awesome, but it seems very unpleasant to play.
But yeah, we're talking about Ptolemy. Silent P. Sota tole Me,
the first in fact, Silent p Sota, who, as we know,
(07:22):
did go on to become the ruler of Egypt, and
he did reign longer than any other dynasty that was
established after the Alexandrian Empire, only to eventually be toppled
by the Romans, as the Romans were wont to do
there in thirty BCE. So, if you can guess, is
(07:44):
silent our buddy silent p The first p one, if
you will, was a pretty yeah, exactly p P Prime
was a pretty modest ruler slash dictator that didn't necessarily
need any kind of props for his ego forms of
ostentatious monuments. I'm being sarcastic on behalf of Max, who
(08:05):
was being sarcastic when you wrote that in the Dog.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
All right, Max, give us a record scratch, No, make
it sound older.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Seventy eight rather, yeah, there we go, nice and warble.
So okay, we're gonna move on to the Pyramids. Just kidding.
Max also wrote that we're here to talk about this lighthouse.
So there's always lighthouses, there's always man, there's always a city,
which is apparently a line from a song that I
don't know, Max.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
No, it's a BioShock infinite.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Oh okay, got it at the end of the game,
always like a Springsteen jam or like then in like
four of these and I keep trying to use it
over it.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
I know. Okay, all right, Max, you did You did
deliver on this one.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Max the Great Deliverer would be his nickname if he
were a despot. Sarcasm aside, right, exactly, Silent p Prime
definitely did, in fact commission himself one of these wonders.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
All right, So we're going back to a guy called
Mark Cartwright because that is his legal name, and he
told us, through our various explorations, a lot about wonders
of the ancient world. And Mark Cartwright summarizes the adventures
(09:40):
of Ptolemy this way, he says, essentially, Ptolemy the first
commissions the building of a massive lighthouse to guide ships
into Alexandria. And tocheer note about humility. There noel to
provide a permanent reminder of his power a greatness. So
(10:04):
this is a guy who is building a statue for
himself while he is alive. This takes forever he dies.
The project is completed twenty years later or so by
Ptolomay Prime's son Ptolomay two, again named in a burst
(10:28):
of humility and creativity.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
M yep, and the structure just added to a giant
running list of things that the Great City of Alexandria boasted, including,
of course the Tomb of Alexander, the Great Museum, which
was an institution for the learned folk of the area,
the Sarah Piam Temple, and of course the Library of Alexandria,
(10:55):
very famous, exactly, very famous, loss to time, house of
data tomes.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, it's a bummer. Will never know what could have
happened with civilization if that library was not burned. However,
this is some classic dictator compensation. And yeah, lighthouses are
(11:23):
kind of phallic. Thanks for the joke there, Max, But
the idea behind the lighthouse is pretty solid.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
It's a functioning piece of architecture. Like you said, Ben,
it keeps those ships from you know, reckon. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
So if we look at the if we look at
the geography, then we see two natural harbors. There's the
again humbly named Great Harbor and then there's the Harbor
of Fortunate Return. The mainland is linked to the island
of Pharaoh's pa a r O S the p is
(12:04):
pronounceable there right, So uh, this lighthouse is intended to
help sailors get to where they're going without wrecking the
whole boat. And at this time in history, everything is
dedicated to some sort of deity or another.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
So you got.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Zeus suitor aka deliverer.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Wait, so last same last name? Is the last name?
Is that? Okay? So is he? I'm confused? Was this
version of Zeus named after Ptolemy or was Dolema named
after this version of Zeus? We do have the Deliverer,
by the way, which is max is a despot nickname.
How about that?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, there we go, the Deliverer, the free train, and
then that freighth So it's a famous lighthouse, but it
is not the first version of the thing. It's just
the biggest version of the thing.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
And just again we've mentioned I think everybody knows what
a lighthouse looks like and what a lighthouse is for.
But in this era, Facos, which is an island in
the Aegean Sea, was known to have had multiple towering lighthouses.
In the Archaic period. These were landmarks as well as
(13:32):
these beacons that were used by cities to help sailors
cross the Mediterranean. The ancient lighthouses were primarily built for
function over form, as navigational aids, pointing out or showing
through the murky, you know, fog of the open ocean
leading up to land where the sea ended and the
harbor began.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Oh yeah, yeah. So it was less like watch out
and more like come here, right, so this is the
spot where you should hang out. The issue is here
that we're talking about the Mediterranean, and the Mediterranean is
just absolutely riddled with difficult navigation, right, and there are
(14:18):
a lot of treacherous waters. So the kick here is
that a lighthouse this big, this cool, is supposed to,
as you said, no function as both a warning and
(14:39):
a commemoration. We actually don't know too much in twenty
twenty six about how this lighthouse worked, just like the
Library of Alexandria. We're not certain of the structure nor
(15:00):
the architecture of the thing, other than the fact that
a lot of people saw it. A lot of people
said it was made of white stone. It was three
floors tall, right, three stories tall, and it was kind
of like a ziggarette.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Ooh yeah, what was that one of those little steps,
the step one.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Kind of yeah, yeah, the bottom was a big rectangle,
the bottom floor, the second floor was like an octagon,
and the top floor was round. And most people are
going to tell you that at the top floor there
(15:45):
was a statue of Zeus or to your earlier point,
Zeus Soter right.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
And we have accounts from Arab writers who describe it
as a ramp rising around the outside of the lower
part of the tower, containing an internal staircase used to
reach the upper levels. And then accounts from modern historians
do vary a bit when it comes to the height
of the tower, but estimates range from one hundred to
(16:15):
one hundred and forty meters or three hundred and thirty
to four hundred and sixty feet. And this is again
coming from our buddy Mark Kart right.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
And this would have made it the second tallest structure
on the planet after the Pyramids over in Egypt. So
this is like, this is at the point where if
you are a sailor and you are going toward this
part of the world and you mess up, that's on you.
(16:47):
Because the lighthouse is pretty clear. But Nol, what kind
of stuff lit the lighthouse here?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
It's a good question, Ben, And when I think about
the lighthouses and lighthouse technology. I guess my mind goes
back to the Robert Egger's film A Lighthouse. There's there's
what is it, There's magic in the light, very very
creepy stuff, Lovecraftian, you know, lore surrounding that particular lighthouse
(17:15):
and the idea of what summons the light. We're talking
about a time before, of course electricity, so but mirrors
of course existed, and it's all about reflecting the light
in a circular way that allows it to act as
this beacon. So of course the light source would have
had to have been maintained. The idea of the lighthouse keeper,
(17:37):
which is still a modern you know thing, or at
least you know, the idea of someone having to maintain
the lamp and make sure the light was always on
because you know, the stakes were pretty high if a
lighthouse were to burn out, for example, we would see
catastrophic results, you know, from these ships not being able
to tell where the land began. So it's a little
(17:58):
confusing because we're talking about a lighthouse that's in the name.
You gotta have a light, whether it be the more
modern versions using you know, incandescent bulbs or something like that.
Perhaps halogen bulbs that are then reflected and refracted and
made to you know, throw across long distances. What we're
(18:19):
talking about here, according to various accounts, may have not
had a light at all because of the types of
materials that were required to maintain such a light were
pretty scarce in the region. So a lot of historians
seem to think that this was more of a landmark
slash thing that would have been helpful during the day
rather than something that would have, you know, lit up
(18:40):
the night, because a lot of the accounts don't mention
a light at all, which seems counterintuitive calling it the
Great Lighthouse of Alexandria if you ask me.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Right, So now it's just a non functional or it's
a half functional lighthouse. It's a building you can see
at sea during the day. Some of the only reports
we have of a lamp burning in the lighthouse at
(19:12):
night or from folks like Plenty, the elder notorious liar,
by the way, is that true?
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I always thought Plenty was was the authority. No, I guess,
I guess I do recall some questionable reports from that dude.
But you know, he's the elder. That means he's wise,
But I guess some people like to lie sometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
And and he got the uh, he got the pronounced
P in his name. So take that told of me.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Otherwise it would have been like Lamey the Elder. I
do love a silent P. It's just it's a little confounding.
But I'm here. I'm here for it. So to to
double back on the aforementioned question of what makes a wonder,
the Lighthouse of alex Andrea made it onto that hallowed
(20:02):
list of the Seven Wonders a bit later than some
of the others because, you know, it was a tall
and unique structure. The design was intended to protect the
harbors and the sailors who were traveling across the Mediterranean
in the ancient world. And the design of it was
(20:23):
so I guess efficient and well done that it was
kind of it served as a bit of a template
for other lighthouses that were built, you know, in other
parts of the world.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, in set of precedent, right, and it became a
functional blueprint essentially, right, So you could look at Alexandria,
you could look at their lighthouse and you could say,
I could build something like that. That's what happened. That's
(20:56):
why it became a wonder of the ancient world. But
back then again, obviously, fellow ridiculous historians, people of the
day did not call these wonders of the ancient world.
Please tune in for our episode on what doth make
a Wonder? Alexandria continued to prosper way after Alexander the
(21:20):
Great passed away. Alexandria was part of the Roman Empire.
It was actually the second most important city in that
world for a long time. And then again earthquakes. Right,
just like in our previous conversations on other ancient wonders,
(21:41):
we got earthquakes in seven ninety six, nine fifty the
lighthouse again falls over. You know, Noel, It reminds me
of the first time I saw the Tower of London,
and I was kind of a jerk about it because
(22:02):
you and I are used to very tall things being
called towers.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Right, Apparently it's a little underwhelming when you behold it
for the first time. I have not had the pleasure.
But is that what is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
That's what we're saying. Yeah, because this thing, as the
Lighthouse of Alexandria here is three stories tall. It's gonna
look small to a lot of people in the modern world.
But we also have to remember, you know, three stories
was a big deal at the time.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yeah, sure, no, I mean you gotta start the three
stories before you can get to you know, hundreds or whatever.
The tallest. But what are we talking. What's the tallest
building in the world. Now, I think it's somewhere in
the Middle East, perhaps maybe, Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah,
So you gotta start some.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
You gotta start somewhere. Add the lighthouse definitely starts somewhere.
It disappears from the historic record after the fourteenth century,
probably due to earthquakes around the thirteen hundreds. The tower
has granite foundations. They are reused to build a fort
(23:14):
in the fifteenth century, and the sea level is rising
right over these centuries. This is a true wonder of
the ancient world.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
It did exist.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
You can visit the ruins. You should also probably if
you are sailing, not trust those ruins. And no. For
this episode and this series, we always like to conclude
with a conversation about one of our favorite games, Civilization.
(23:53):
I say, we throw to Max, how do we feel
about that?
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, well, I guess y'all. I'm still not particularly versed
in the Sieve universe. So everything that I've learned about it,
I've learned right here on this podcast. So I know
that these a lot of these ancient wonders are a
little add on things that you can build that give
you like buffs or something in your in your sievelization.
Is this a good one to build, Max? Or what's
(24:16):
the deal? What kind of buffs are we talking? How
does it aid in in the in your in your
in your civilization?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
It is one you can build. Is actually it's funny.
It's one that's in basically it's I think it's actually
in every single game. It is a very famous one,
and it honestly it really does a lot of these
wonders change a lot throughout the games to match the
game context. This one doesn't. It basically just makes it
so your ships move faster and you can have better
(24:45):
a shipping and visibility. Right. Yeah, It's like a nice
wonder and it's also one that the AI always really wants,
so it's really hard to get. But I've always thought
it's kind of bid. We have the Mausoleum of Carnastis,
we have the Temple of Artemis, we have the colossus
that rose. These are all you know, wonder if you
(25:07):
could build around the same time that are fastly better.
Of course, I'm talking on civilization six on this because
still having weird feelings with seven. But I'll give it
a C minus.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Great.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
All right, Well, let's do a Max with the facts
on that one. And we're back, and folks, we cannot
(25:48):
be more happy to be back together behind the curtain.
We've been traveling a bit, Noel. You are returned from
northern climbs and I'm returned from some oceans as well.
And dude, I think we're gonna finally do it. I
(26:09):
think we're gonna get to the waffle house episode.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, no, it's true. It's true. You've
done some excellent research on that, and you know, we
will combine our collective appreciation and various understandings of the
history of waffle house, which is an very important part
of Southern culture that folks not from around these parts
might not know about. But I think you're gonna be
(26:33):
a little more it's gonna be a little more interesting
than you might think.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
And don't let Noel sell himself short here, folks. Noel,
Max and I actually did some on the ground research
for this What are we talking about? Find out in
our next episode for now. Thank you as always so
much to our research associate for this episode and our
(26:58):
super producer, missed Max Williams, as well as Alex Williams
who composed this slap and bop.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Alex the Great Williams God, Christopher Rociotis, Nias, Jeff Coats
here in spirit of course, Jonathan Strickland, the Booster, Jacob's the.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Puzzler, Yeah, Rachel, Doctor Big Spinach, Lance, the rude Dudes,
that ridiculous crime. If you like us, you'll love them.
Shout out to source on the side by none other
than good friend of the show Gandhi Noel. We got
to get up there soon.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Let's do it. We will see you next time, folks.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to
(00:27):
the show, fellow Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as always so
much for tuning in. Let's hear it for the Man,
the Myth, the Legend, our super producer, mister Max no
Red Light Williams.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
The Wonder of your own Heart.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
The eleventh Wonder. How many wonders are there?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Agains of the ancient world.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
I don't know. I don't know why I whipped out eleven.
That is, it's just a number. That that's fun, fun
for me.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Noel, It's good to see you again. Man. I don't
want to sound weird, but Jordan Noel Brown, I've been
bullying and I missed you a little bit.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
It's okay, Ben, You're allowed to miss me. I missed
you too. We've both been on what did It's true.
It's true. The myths and the legends and the stories
are true. We've both been on various adventures across this
great wide world of sport. And now we're back reconvened
talking about a lighthouse, A mythical lighthouse. Well that's a
(01:31):
mythical I don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
This is the thing. Okay, So we are returning to
one of our favorite series, an ongoing exploration of Wonders
of the World, and you and I and our research
associate for this episode, Max, we just had a brief
(01:53):
bit of banter that didn't make it on air where
you and I were talking about how many wonders are
in the world. I was wondering, Yeah, you were saying eleven,
and I said that sounds like a good number. And
then Max popped in and said, ah, guys, this is
(02:14):
our series about the ancient wonders.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yes, of course, yeah, and there's only seven of them,
which is hotly debated because what makes a wonder a wonder? Well,
one day we will attempt to answer that.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Well, seven is also a fun number, meaningful seven goes
to heaven eleven seven eleven. Anyway, they're related somehow.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Oh my god, you guys knows about the wrap.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
No, not me, never, not in a million years. Not
my wheelhouse. I stay in my lane, and today my
lane does involve our lane involves historical lighthouses or a
historical lighthouse great indeed, the Great Lighthouse of Alexandria.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
So not our wheelhouse, but our lighthouse. We're going to
start with diving into the context Okay, everybody knows the
idea of a lighthouse, right. It's a big tower along
(03:15):
the coast, right, And the idea is a lighthouse will
let you, as a sailor, know when you were about
to hit the dirt and.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
They run aground, as they say in nautical parlance.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
So there's this city called Alexandria, and it is named
in a burst of humility after a guy who calls
himself Alexander the Great.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, and Alexander the Great founded the city which he
named after himself and the aforementioned burst of humility and
three point thirty two BCE after the start of one
of his many war campaigns. He liked to start beef
with folks, and this was beef with Persia, the Persian Campaign.
(04:08):
He made it the capital of his new dominion, the
Egyptian Dominion, and established a naval base there where he
would wield naval control over the whole of the Mediterranean.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Again, super humble.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah, guy, probably fun at parties. I mean sure, I
don't know. I bet he was a good hang.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I bet I bet he was a good like thirty
five minute hang.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
I do imagine he likes to talk about himself a
bit but after Alex, our buddy, not Alex Williams, who
composed this theme, left Egypt. I love this, This is
this title of a viceroy. I guess I'm always thinking
of the Star the Star Wars thing. Wasn't there like
a vice, Those little flabby mouth alien guys wanted the
viceroys in the trade, the walcades and all that stuff.
(04:59):
We got a roy here named Cleomenes, Cleominas, Cleomenes, I'm
gonna say, Cleomenes nail. He continued in the creation of
this capital city of Alexandria in Alex's instead when he
was off warring it up you know elsewhere.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, yeah, famously beefy guy r Pal Alexander. Alexander dies
in three twenty three BCE, and as you said, Noel,
the viceroy takes control, and another viceroy shows up Ptolemy,
and Ptolemy founds the dynasty. So this takes us now
(05:43):
to what our pale Max likes to call the who,
not the band, just the who of whom constructed this
great lighthouse called an ancient wonder. So Ptolome Sojer is
(06:04):
born in Macedonia. He dies in Egypt. He's a Macedonian
general of Alexander the Great, and he ultimately this guy Ptoleme,
he founds the Ptolemaic dynasty. And since we are an
audio show, I guess we have to tell people the
(06:26):
pronunciation of Ptolemy is not the same way it's spelled.
There's a silent letter.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
I love a silent pe Remember the song Friends of
P by the Rentals?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I loved it? Right? Is that the guy who was the.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Bassist from Weezer, Matt Sharp, Yeah, he was the bassist
from Weezer. I've been on a Friends of Pea kick
recently when a friend of mine was visiting from Saint
Louis and we had one of those like YouTube diving
evenings with a little bit It might may have been
a few glasses of wine involved, but I rocked out
the video of Friends of Pea. So that's all who's
(07:00):
been stuck in my head. This is silent P. Not
to be confused also with the Lies of P, which
apparently really cool, very difficult souls like game that it
looks really awesome, but it seems very unpleasant to play.
But yeah, we're talking about Ptolemy. Silent P. Sota tole Me,
the first in fact, Silent p Sota, who, as we know,
(07:22):
did go on to become the ruler of Egypt, and
he did reign longer than any other dynasty that was
established after the Alexandrian Empire, only to eventually be toppled
by the Romans, as the Romans were wont to do
there in thirty BCE. So, if you can guess, is
(07:44):
silent our buddy silent p The first p one, if
you will, was a pretty yeah, exactly p P Prime
was a pretty modest ruler slash dictator that didn't necessarily
need any kind of props for his ego forms of
ostentatious monuments. I'm being sarcastic on behalf of Max, who
(08:05):
was being sarcastic when you wrote that in the Dog.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
All right, Max, give us a record scratch, No, make
it sound older.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Seventy eight rather, yeah, there we go, nice and warble.
So okay, we're gonna move on to the Pyramids. Just kidding.
Max also wrote that we're here to talk about this lighthouse.
So there's always lighthouses, there's always man, there's always a city,
which is apparently a line from a song that I
don't know, Max.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
No, it's a BioShock infinite.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Oh okay, got it at the end of the game,
always like a Springsteen jam or like then in like
four of these and I keep trying to use it
over it.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
I know. Okay, all right, Max, you did You did
deliver on this one.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Max the Great Deliverer would be his nickname if he
were a despot. Sarcasm aside, right, exactly, Silent p Prime
definitely did, in fact commission himself one of these wonders.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
All right, So we're going back to a guy called
Mark Cartwright because that is his legal name, and he
told us, through our various explorations, a lot about wonders
of the ancient world. And Mark Cartwright summarizes the adventures
(09:40):
of Ptolemy this way, he says, essentially, Ptolemy the first
commissions the building of a massive lighthouse to guide ships
into Alexandria. And tocheer note about humility. There noel to
provide a permanent reminder of his power a greatness. So
(10:04):
this is a guy who is building a statue for
himself while he is alive. This takes forever he dies.
The project is completed twenty years later or so by
Ptolomay Prime's son Ptolomay two, again named in a burst
(10:28):
of humility and creativity.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
M yep, and the structure just added to a giant
running list of things that the Great City of Alexandria boasted, including,
of course the Tomb of Alexander, the Great Museum, which
was an institution for the learned folk of the area,
the Sarah Piam Temple, and of course the Library of Alexandria,
(10:55):
very famous, exactly, very famous, loss to time, house of
data tomes.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, it's a bummer. Will never know what could have
happened with civilization if that library was not burned. However,
this is some classic dictator compensation. And yeah, lighthouses are
(11:23):
kind of phallic. Thanks for the joke there, Max, But
the idea behind the lighthouse is pretty solid.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
It's a functioning piece of architecture. Like you said, Ben,
it keeps those ships from you know, reckon. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
So if we look at the if we look at
the geography, then we see two natural harbors. There's the
again humbly named Great Harbor and then there's the Harbor
of Fortunate Return. The mainland is linked to the island
of Pharaoh's pa a r O S the p is
(12:04):
pronounceable there right, So uh, this lighthouse is intended to
help sailors get to where they're going without wrecking the
whole boat. And at this time in history, everything is
dedicated to some sort of deity or another.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
So you got.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Zeus suitor aka deliverer.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Wait, so last same last name? Is the last name?
Is that? Okay? So is he? I'm confused? Was this
version of Zeus named after Ptolemy or was Dolema named
after this version of Zeus? We do have the Deliverer,
by the way, which is max is a despot nickname.
How about that?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, there we go, the Deliverer, the free train, and
then that freighth So it's a famous lighthouse, but it
is not the first version of the thing. It's just
the biggest version of the thing.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
And just again we've mentioned I think everybody knows what
a lighthouse looks like and what a lighthouse is for.
But in this era, Facos, which is an island in
the Aegean Sea, was known to have had multiple towering lighthouses.
In the Archaic period. These were landmarks as well as
(13:32):
these beacons that were used by cities to help sailors
cross the Mediterranean. The ancient lighthouses were primarily built for
function over form, as navigational aids, pointing out or showing
through the murky, you know, fog of the open ocean
leading up to land where the sea ended and the
harbor began.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Oh yeah, yeah. So it was less like watch out
and more like come here, right, so this is the
spot where you should hang out. The issue is here
that we're talking about the Mediterranean, and the Mediterranean is
just absolutely riddled with difficult navigation, right, and there are
(14:18):
a lot of treacherous waters. So the kick here is
that a lighthouse this big, this cool, is supposed to,
as you said, no function as both a warning and
(14:39):
a commemoration. We actually don't know too much in twenty
twenty six about how this lighthouse worked, just like the
Library of Alexandria. We're not certain of the structure nor
(15:00):
the architecture of the thing, other than the fact that
a lot of people saw it. A lot of people
said it was made of white stone. It was three
floors tall, right, three stories tall, and it was kind
of like a ziggarette.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Ooh yeah, what was that one of those little steps,
the step one.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Kind of yeah, yeah, the bottom was a big rectangle,
the bottom floor, the second floor was like an octagon,
and the top floor was round. And most people are
going to tell you that at the top floor there
(15:45):
was a statue of Zeus or to your earlier point,
Zeus Soter right.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
And we have accounts from Arab writers who describe it
as a ramp rising around the outside of the lower
part of the tower, containing an internal staircase used to
reach the upper levels. And then accounts from modern historians
do vary a bit when it comes to the height
of the tower, but estimates range from one hundred to
(16:15):
one hundred and forty meters or three hundred and thirty
to four hundred and sixty feet. And this is again
coming from our buddy Mark Kart right.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
And this would have made it the second tallest structure
on the planet after the Pyramids over in Egypt. So
this is like, this is at the point where if
you are a sailor and you are going toward this
part of the world and you mess up, that's on you.
(16:47):
Because the lighthouse is pretty clear. But Nol, what kind
of stuff lit the lighthouse here?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
It's a good question, Ben, And when I think about
the lighthouses and lighthouse technology. I guess my mind goes
back to the Robert Egger's film A Lighthouse. There's there's
what is it, There's magic in the light, very very
creepy stuff, Lovecraftian, you know, lore surrounding that particular lighthouse
(17:15):
and the idea of what summons the light. We're talking
about a time before, of course electricity, so but mirrors
of course existed, and it's all about reflecting the light
in a circular way that allows it to act as
this beacon. So of course the light source would have
had to have been maintained. The idea of the lighthouse keeper,
(17:37):
which is still a modern you know thing, or at
least you know, the idea of someone having to maintain
the lamp and make sure the light was always on
because you know, the stakes were pretty high if a
lighthouse were to burn out, for example, we would see
catastrophic results, you know, from these ships not being able
to tell where the land began. So it's a little
(17:58):
confusing because we're talking about a lighthouse that's in the name.
You gotta have a light, whether it be the more
modern versions using you know, incandescent bulbs or something like that.
Perhaps halogen bulbs that are then reflected and refracted and
made to you know, throw across long distances. What we're
(18:19):
talking about here, according to various accounts, may have not
had a light at all because of the types of
materials that were required to maintain such a light were
pretty scarce in the region. So a lot of historians
seem to think that this was more of a landmark
slash thing that would have been helpful during the day
rather than something that would have, you know, lit up
(18:40):
the night, because a lot of the accounts don't mention
a light at all, which seems counterintuitive calling it the
Great Lighthouse of Alexandria if you ask me.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Right, So now it's just a non functional or it's
a half functional lighthouse. It's a building you can see
at sea during the day. Some of the only reports
we have of a lamp burning in the lighthouse at
(19:12):
night or from folks like Plenty, the elder notorious liar,
by the way, is that true?
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I always thought Plenty was was the authority. No, I guess,
I guess I do recall some questionable reports from that dude.
But you know, he's the elder. That means he's wise,
But I guess some people like to lie sometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
And and he got the uh, he got the pronounced
P in his name. So take that told of me.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Otherwise it would have been like Lamey the Elder. I
do love a silent P. It's just it's a little confounding.
But I'm here. I'm here for it. So to to
double back on the aforementioned question of what makes a wonder,
the Lighthouse of alex Andrea made it onto that hallowed
(20:02):
list of the Seven Wonders a bit later than some
of the others because, you know, it was a tall
and unique structure. The design was intended to protect the
harbors and the sailors who were traveling across the Mediterranean
in the ancient world. And the design of it was
(20:23):
so I guess efficient and well done that it was
kind of it served as a bit of a template
for other lighthouses that were built, you know, in other
parts of the world.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, in set of precedent, right, and it became a
functional blueprint essentially, right, So you could look at Alexandria,
you could look at their lighthouse and you could say,
I could build something like that. That's what happened. That's
(20:56):
why it became a wonder of the ancient world. But
back then again, obviously, fellow ridiculous historians, people of the
day did not call these wonders of the ancient world.
Please tune in for our episode on what doth make
a Wonder? Alexandria continued to prosper way after Alexander the
(21:20):
Great passed away. Alexandria was part of the Roman Empire.
It was actually the second most important city in that
world for a long time. And then again earthquakes. Right,
just like in our previous conversations on other ancient wonders,
(21:41):
we got earthquakes in seven ninety six, nine fifty the
lighthouse again falls over. You know, Noel, It reminds me
of the first time I saw the Tower of London,
and I was kind of a jerk about it because
(22:02):
you and I are used to very tall things being
called towers.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Right, Apparently it's a little underwhelming when you behold it
for the first time. I have not had the pleasure.
But is that what is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
That's what we're saying. Yeah, because this thing, as the
Lighthouse of Alexandria here is three stories tall. It's gonna
look small to a lot of people in the modern world.
But we also have to remember, you know, three stories
was a big deal at the time.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yeah, sure, no, I mean you gotta start the three
stories before you can get to you know, hundreds or whatever.
The tallest. But what are we talking. What's the tallest
building in the world. Now, I think it's somewhere in
the Middle East, perhaps maybe, Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah,
So you gotta start some.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
You gotta start somewhere. Add the lighthouse definitely starts somewhere.
It disappears from the historic record after the fourteenth century,
probably due to earthquakes around the thirteen hundreds. The tower
has granite foundations. They are reused to build a fort
(23:14):
in the fifteenth century, and the sea level is rising
right over these centuries. This is a true wonder of
the ancient world.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
It did exist.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
You can visit the ruins. You should also probably if
you are sailing, not trust those ruins. And no. For
this episode and this series, we always like to conclude
with a conversation about one of our favorite games, Civilization.
(23:53):
I say, we throw to Max, how do we feel
about that?
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, well, I guess y'all. I'm still not particularly versed
in the Sieve universe. So everything that I've learned about it,
I've learned right here on this podcast. So I know
that these a lot of these ancient wonders are a
little add on things that you can build that give
you like buffs or something in your in your sievelization.
Is this a good one to build, Max? Or what's
(24:16):
the deal? What kind of buffs are we talking? How
does it aid in in the in your in your
in your civilization?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
It is one you can build. Is actually it's funny.
It's one that's in basically it's I think it's actually
in every single game. It is a very famous one,
and it honestly it really does a lot of these
wonders change a lot throughout the games to match the
game context. This one doesn't. It basically just makes it
so your ships move faster and you can have better
(24:45):
a shipping and visibility. Right. Yeah, It's like a nice
wonder and it's also one that the AI always really wants,
so it's really hard to get. But I've always thought
it's kind of bid. We have the Mausoleum of Carnastis,
we have the Temple of Artemis, we have the colossus
that rose. These are all you know, wonder if you
(25:07):
could build around the same time that are fastly better.
Of course, I'm talking on civilization six on this because
still having weird feelings with seven. But I'll give it
a C minus.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Great.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
All right, Well, let's do a Max with the facts
on that one. And we're back, and folks, we cannot
(25:48):
be more happy to be back together behind the curtain.
We've been traveling a bit, Noel. You are returned from
northern climbs and I'm returned from some oceans as well.
And dude, I think we're gonna finally do it. I
(26:09):
think we're gonna get to the waffle house episode.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, no, it's true. It's true. You've
done some excellent research on that, and you know, we
will combine our collective appreciation and various understandings of the
history of waffle house, which is an very important part
of Southern culture that folks not from around these parts
might not know about. But I think you're gonna be
(26:33):
a little more it's gonna be a little more interesting
than you might think.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
And don't let Noel sell himself short here, folks. Noel,
Max and I actually did some on the ground research
for this What are we talking about? Find out in
our next episode for now. Thank you as always so
much to our research associate for this episode and our
(26:58):
super producer, missed Max Williams, as well as Alex Williams
who composed this slap and bop.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Alex the Great Williams God, Christopher Rociotis, Nias, Jeff Coats
here in spirit of course, Jonathan Strickland, the Booster, Jacob's the.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Puzzler, Yeah, Rachel, Doctor Big Spinach, Lance, the rude Dudes,
that ridiculous crime. If you like us, you'll love them.
Shout out to source on the side by none other
than good friend of the show Gandhi Noel. We got
to get up there soon.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Let's do it. We will see you next time, folks.
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Ridiculous History News
Hosts And Creators
Ben Bowlin
Noel Brown
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