July 3, 2026 • 41 mins
Anney and Samantha once again dig into the virtual mail bag to share stories, thoughts, recommendations and advice from our listeners.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Smith Thaugh and welcome to
stuff I never told your productive of iHeartRadio. And today
we're really excited to bring back our listener mail episodes.
It has been a hot minute since we have done
(00:27):
one of these.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Samantha h.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Sometimes I get I forget how much we do until
I'm looking back over all of the all of the
listener mail. That being said, as we've mentioned in recent episodes,
if we do not respond to you it.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
We do read it.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Occasionally I'll find something in the junk email that shouldn't
have gone to the chunk of meal, but that's pretty rare.
And we did go through a transition to a new
email address, but I still check the old one and
the new one. It's supposed to afford to the new
one anyway, and from what I understand it does.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I've seen it in action.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
But just so you know, but I do apologize because
usually I'm the one that answers listener mail, and I
just have added in me and I didn't realize for
how long. But I this is my new I'm gonna
answer listener mail. This is my goal. I'm going to
get back into it. So some of these are from
a while ago. I'll say that too. Uh yeah, but
(01:32):
we love hearing from you. Thank you so much for
taking the time, and we wanted to read some of
the listener mail we've received for this episode, starting with Lena,
I know you've written in about how to pronounce your name.
I'm not sure. I tried to find that email but
I couldn't, but please write in again and let us
(01:55):
know if we've got it wrong. We love hearing from you,
Lena wrote, I was so excited to hear your review
of The Bird Cage.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I just went to go.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
See an anniversary showing at my local theater, so I
was all primed to sing we Are Family.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I must have been an early.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Teenager when this came out, but I remember seeing it
at some point with my parents, who didn't seem to
think much of the general content. We were all fans of
Robin Williams already, along with Gene Hackman. What stands out
to me is that shortly after this film came out,
my father went to go find the original play, a
movie that casual fola I can't pronounce it right either,
(02:33):
because he was interested in seeing how the character shifted.
I agreed that val the Sun is really kind of
a Brett. Although one of the things that I think
is a beautiful subtle way in which they show how
he was raised is when he starts mimicking his parents
and how they do the whole drama queen reaction. He
uses the same phrases I woke up feeling so good.
(02:54):
This can't work. This can't work as Armand and Albert,
And while that is just dialogue, I thought those were
super cut ways to show that he is a product
of his parents. But in the original film slash Play,
he's even worse. He's kind of bitterly nasty in a
way that can't be played off. As well, he's young
and in love, so he's kind of stupid. Barbara is
(03:16):
also a little bit different in the original. I think
in the bird Cage that while Barbara kind of sets
the whole lie off and is a little manipulative in
that way, again, young and in love equal stupid, but
she does show some examples of character and spine, asserting
to be called Barbara rather than Barbie, telling Goldman's that
she would have liked to be part of their family,
and threatening to stay. But in the original she's so
(03:39):
insignificant it's like she's barely there but in the bird cage.
Especially when I watched it this last time in the theater,
the ones that stand out are the mom's.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I don't think I.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Realized how manipulative Louise is. She's the one who comes
up with the plan of using Barbara's white wedding to
distract and distance the senator. She's the one who comments
on how easy it is to manipulate the media and
get the Pope's blessing. She's the one who, after realizing
her husband is infatuated with another conservative woman hello jealous
(04:10):
much who is actually a man in drag, breaks down
into her white woman tears and says, someone has to
like me best. I mean, maybe she was genuinely upset,
but it got me thinking. Then there's Catherine VAL's mother
or bearer could work too. She has no shame in
recognizing that she's not mothering material, but she's grateful to
(04:31):
Armand for how he was able to help her out.
She clearly appreciates armand even flirting with him again. And
she doesn't seem to hate Albert or dislike her son.
But she's not maternal and that's okay. And yes, I'll
throw Albert in there too, because he's clearly nurturing and
caring unless you're chewing gum while he's singing than God
Help you. After realizing that it was Val that Armand
(04:54):
is meeting, he just quietly goes in and checks on
his boy, tucks him.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
In, and tidies up.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
His whole plan of finally just acting as Armand's wife
and VAL's mother and leaning into his ability to add,
live and act is all to help support his family.
He seems deeply touched by Barbara, reaching out to her
and encouraging her to be who she's going to be.
Oh and I wanted to share this too, YouTube link.
It's a collection of missing scenes, some of which flush
(05:20):
out the characters a little bit more. I love the
one of Albert reacting to the cake being inaccurately marked,
and then also daydreaming him and Armand pushing their grandchildren
around in a stroller. Anyway, thank you so much for
covering this film. One final thought, I had forgotten how
powerful it was for Armand to demonstrate his love and
commitment to Albert. The palimony agreement is really lovely, especially
(05:44):
when this was in the midst of Don't Ask, Don't
Tell and the Defense of Marriage Act. So yeah, there's
some stuff that doesn't hold up. Oh the dance number. Uh,
but the relationships are amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So much of this is really cool to hear from
somebody who's seen the play and the older the older
film and how they differ. I'm so glad we chose
this movie because we were between a couple things, and
I'm really happy that it has resonated. And we didn't mention,
but it had a Broadway revival last month when we
(06:20):
we missed that somehow.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
But yeah, you make so many, so many great points.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I hadn't picked up on a lot of this stuff,
So I think that's really cool about how Val, who
I was kind of tough on in that episode, about
how he did pick up his parents' mannerisms. That's a
really cool detail to notice. It was sweet. Their relationship
was sweet. And you're right. Going back when it was
(06:48):
coming out, we talked about, you know, how AIDS and
HIV and all that had really had an impact on
what type of movie with gay characters were being made,
and how this one was so different, But we didn't
talk about DOMA and don't Don't tell so.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah, that was a lot. You know what.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
I just realized as we were sitting here talking about
the Sun, who was played by Dan Futterman. He actually
plays the gay, straight good dude in Sex and the
City that Charlotte has a relationship with. Do you remember,
like she thought he was gay but he at it
turned out to be straight.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Don't know why.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
That just feels like it's aligned to him playing that
character in the Bird Cage.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Oh it could be, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Sometimes it's the tongue in cheeks like I remember him
from this. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
They just hit me though as she was talking as.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
You were ready, and I was like, oh, yeah, I
don't know why that just hit me now. But there
you the correlations, the correlations.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
You are full of them.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah. I try.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
And then Leslie, thank you. Leslie wrote this and I
appreciate this very much. I have a suggestion specifically for Samantha,
because I think it would be good for her and
her whole class to add a boundary about body comments. Samantha,
it might feel tricky because you're fairly new to teaching
a class, but you can incorporate a boundary of telling
your class to ask permission before sharing comments and advice
(08:13):
about bodies in before and after your class.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
A little announcement before.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Or at the beginning of a class that quote, comments
and compliments are not always welcome, so please ask the
recipient if they're open to comments compliments before sharing. If
you want to make it slightly longer, you can mention
things you've said in the podcast. Like people is feeling
about their bodies can change from day to day. The
degree of sensitivity and even self esteem levels are also
often always in flux is a boundary we all need
(08:39):
to practice and be aware of, and it might give
some of your students' customers permission to opt out graciously.
If you're worried that some might not be able to
keep it to themselves, maybe bring some paper and pins
and ask them to write it down instead. They can
decide if they want to give it to the person. Afterwards,
Some might think better of it, and the recipient can
decide not to take it or look if they don't
want to. This is if they're filling the compliment, they
(09:01):
have a physical memento to keep. If they want, please
take any, all or none of my suggestions as it
fits your needs. I think these are some really great suggestions.
There is definitely conversations in my mind where I'm like,
I want to make sure my.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Class fills safe there.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
And having people comment about bodies even when they don't
like even when they think they know someone so.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Well, it's always like eugh.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
So these are really good suggestions, And thank you for
listening to that episode as well as my concerns because
obviously suggestions like this are really helpful and it also
validates my feelings of like I feel like we.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Need to figure out boundaries.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Yeah, yes, yes, these were excellent suggestions. Last Lesta, thanks
thanks for writing it, Ashley Rope, because you were talking
about community gardens fruit trees in your area. You were
wondering if you could pick peaches, I think, and wanting
some new resources. I am wondering if you have heard
of fruit share programs. There are a few different main models.
(09:58):
I am thinking more of the community based ones. There
are websites or apps where people sign up to either
pick people's excess fruit off their trees or pick the
fruit for people who aren't able to and split it
with them, basically neighborhood fruit surplus sign up. Maybe your
area has one.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I bet we do.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
I bet that sounds amazing and I haven't even thought
of this as an option.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I've seen people put.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Out signs yeah that say you can like on their
own property that gives like directions, but having a community
board sounds like it would be a phenomenal idea.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I'm gonna have to go look that up.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Because yes, peaches, you were right, because there was peaches
growing in a communal garden on the west side properties.
Then I was like, can I get these? I don't know,
I don't know who it belongs to, but it was
in like the community gardens. But I know oftentimes community
gardens can also carve out spaces for individuals to have
their own small part.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
So like, yes, York correctly was peaches. And now I'm
don't have.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
To go look because I love fresh fruit and paying
a ridiculous amount, which I'm more than willing to pay
for fresh, locally grown fruit or foods. But at the
same time, if there's access that's been to going to waste, yes,
I'm down. Someone brought me mangoes from their mango tree
from Florida.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Oh nice. Recently, I know, yes, just recently nice.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I won a prize somebody brought me fresh blueberries and
a ton of banana peppers. I have had to come
up with all kinds of banana pepper recipes.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
It's been great. I love this.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
This is got two banana peppers. I've got two banana peppers.
I had two helipanos, and I have two giant big
boy bell.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Peppers, Big boys, big boy, big Yes. So clearly we're
very interested in this. Thanks for sending that along, Ashley.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
And I'm gonna need more of this. Yes.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
And then Ray friend of the show wrote in with
an update about our episode in Deborah, because she was
actually one of the ones like yes, talk about Deborah
and then we got the episode.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
She's like, oh, let me tell you.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I got specific books I'm getting from the library and
you're gonna need to know more.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
And I'm like, yes, that wrot give it to me.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
She has sent us several messages on Instagram, right, you know,
I see them. I don't always respond all the time,
but I appreciate all the messages that we get. It
feels like my friends sending me good, good, good, funny things.
And then she continued over on email, She's like, Okay,
I have so much more. So she gave us a
little bit of uh context in the so she wrote, Hello, Sam,
(12:27):
Annie and other members of the Sminty team. Here's the
continuation of Instagram research rabbit hole. I went down forget
the photos attached to this email, as I wanted to
be sure you could get access to the important pages
that I cited in my message just previously.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
And yeah, she.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Did send those photos. It was great, uh medicure, your
nails look amazing. Hello, So you know I couldn't help,
But notice she says, just a recap. I pulled what
I sent via ig here and here from the book
quote and Introduction to the Old Testament, The Canon and
Christian Imagination by Walter Bergerman and Tom Linefeldt.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I hope I said that right on the second edition.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
So the second major part of the book is a
section titled the Prophets, and chapter thirteen is all about
the Book of Judges. The authors break down three sections
of the book, starting with a brief intro that focuses
on the occupation of Canaan by the ancient Israelites, and
then the central section, which focuses on what were likely
remembers stories about folks who made a splash in public
life in ancient Israel when it was still mostly run
(13:32):
by tribal leaders, so there's a lot of hero stories
like Sampson and Deborah. The authors focus on the fact
that the Song of Deborah is likely one of the
earliest depictions of how the ancient Israelites understood their faith.
The author also state that the poem has remarkable rhetorical
power based on what they previously wrote about ancient Hebrew
poetry showing a dialogue between characters as compared to an
(13:54):
outside narrator telling the story. I think the fact that
so much of deborah story being told from her own perspective,
with the words being written as if they were coming
directly from her to the reader, definitely takes her out
of the passive voice territory and gives her not only
a seat at the center of the action, but also
lets her be the one to communicate our stories. I'll
send more information I get it, especially whenever I'm able
(14:15):
to get more books through the interlibrary loan, but wanted
to send this along to you all first while I
had something to contribute, and she does send us more
so this is from the Instagram posts.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
She says in this Instagram post.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
She says, if you want to dive in the darker
side of the Old Testament, you can explore David's sociopathic
tendencies and how he gained his wives Abigail and Bathsheba,
in both cases trying to pretend innocence while he caused
the deaths of their first husbands. David was a real peach.
I think we've talked about that before. I'm like, these
are not good guys, and yet we hil them as
good guys. And they do a lot because they want
(14:49):
another woman. They're willing to kill people for other women,
which is like, really gross. And he also sees them
as properties. But moving on, She also goes on to
say mostly he finished reading The Prophetic Imagination by Walter Bergerman,
and while he does not mention Deborah by name, he
does contrast prophets like her with the author's understandings of
God's law in the Old Testament. She talks about the
(15:11):
comparisons between Deborah, Isaiah, Moses, and Amos with royal consciousness
like that practiced by kings, David Solomon and others who
followed after them, and continued the line to the Pharisees
and sadducees of the New Testament who are following more
oppressive social orders that aligned with the ideas of empire.
He talks a lot about how prophetic imagination, hence the title,
draws on themes of both spare grief and hope. He
(15:34):
contrasts hope with optimism, making the point that hope does
not make light of the difficult circumstances in the Israeli
presents found themselves in, worn down by trying to simply
survive under repressive regimes, be they Israeli kings, Babylonian empires,
or Roman tatriarchs. His point seems to be that the
point of a prophetic leader like Moses or Isaiah, and
(15:55):
likely Deborah is to challenge the old royal imperial order
and call God's people back to showing compassion to all
and using hope as a way to inspire people to
not only imagine a better world, but to fight for
it even when things feel helpless. He goes on to
talk about Jesus ministry with the prophetic tradition, But I
figured you all would want to focus on Deborah. Yeah,
(16:16):
so it's definitely that type of conversation. Who Deborah was
and bringing that out. So thank you so much Ray
for doing get that deep dive like you really did.
We might need to just get you on the show
and have a conversation with us about it.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I love that you have like library books on loan
and the pictures you can see, like all the pages.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
It's great.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
It's a good old fashioned like research montage.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
She's researching for the good of all.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
And we thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yes, yeah, we really do, because we did struggle to
find We didn't think we thought there'd be more. Yeah, yeah,
so we really appreciate it. We always appreciate it when
you listeners do send us this stuff that you're looking into. Benro,
(17:07):
I love the show and all you do. Thanks for
staying strong despite the fascist insanity you live under. In
your latest Happy Hour, you were recounting the story of
rehabilitating Annie's car and mentioned the stereotypical ask a man
for car help, And I'd like to offer the perspective
of the man who gets asked. In my experience, nearly
(17:30):
nobody knows or cares about cars, regardless of gender. And
that's fine, but men tend to just not ask for
help on this topic as much as women do, probably
because they are afraid of being judged as unmanly. It's
a valid fear, as car culture has historically been very misogynistic,
as I've developed a reputation amongst my friends as the
car guy who doesn't judge our but little men for
(17:52):
not being car guys. Men in my life have dared
to ask my help with car stuff, and I would
say I get genuine asked for help equally from all genders. Now,
the other facet of this is that obviously anyone can
do car repairs, and it's super empowering to do so.
A petite lady might have a slightly harder time freeing
a tight bolt than what a big, brawny dude, but
(18:14):
f sat she can just put a longer cheater pipe
on the wrench to get the necessary leverage. It's a
very accessible and equitable possible task to do. I encourage
everyone in my life to get hands on their vehicle
whenever possible. If you do have the car person doing
some repairs for you, get in there and ask them
to make you the hands, ask them what needs to
(18:37):
be done, how and why?
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Love that you know what I have been guilty of,
like shaming men. If they don't know a car. Fact,
just joking about. But patriarchy hurts everyone, it.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Does, it does.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I'm really glad you wrote in about this because I
remember in this Happy Hour. It's so funny because I'm
worrying about my car to day. Today's the day I
go mess with my car. Once a week, I go
and make sure it's still something's growing into the trunk.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
You have mushrooms.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
No, no, no, it's just in the seam. It's not
inside the trunk, but like the seam of the trunk,
and it's these beautiful green and sprouts. But anyway, uh,
I think this is wonderful advice.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I do think it's really empowering.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
When you know how to fix things or even just
like generally you can kind of have a diagnostic of
this is probably the issue. I think that's really really helpful.
I remember when this Happy Hour came out, it was
July fourth, So this is actually like a year.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
You came to help me. Yeah, yes, it was the fourth,
It was the fourth of July.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Well, well it was because it was a two part process,
because your partner came and it.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Helped with one thing, and then I had my other first.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Partner because it didn't actually help. It helped for that day.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
It helped for that day.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Was it was just the battery, really well, there was
a bunch of other things, but the main issue was
the battery.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
So it kind of just happened that way.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
But yeah, I just kind of felt that, you know,
I'm asking these dudes in my life or my friend's
life to come help me with the car. So it
just sort of felt like the stereotype was playing out.
But I think you're completely right because I believe I
also told the story in that episode that my ex
boyfriend he knew nothing about cars, and he wasn't ashamed
(20:35):
to admit it.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
He was like, nope, we were cock so funny. I
don't know how to do that. Okay, fair enough, fair enough,
that understood this.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I got it.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
And our friend of the showp In Bowlin, he's kind
of a car guy, so maybe he's offered to help
me with some things before, so maybe we can fill
him up or something. Okay, yeah, the learning facts to
learn it to do it myself.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Yeah, yes, get your hands in there, yes, okay.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
And then we have Mia who wrote about our episode
about men lying about politics on dating apps, episode which
it probably should come back and revisit because I think
it's gotten worse. But anyways, this is what they wrote.
Thanks for bringing light to how often this happens on
dating apps. I identify as an assist gender Asian, heterosexual,
twenty three year old woman who has used platforms such
as Hinge Tender and Bumble as someone who bases my
(21:25):
relationship preference on political affiliations. I also believe it reveals
someone's moral beliefs. I have noticed followed some clear signs
that indicate if a person leans more conservatively in their beliefs.
Some ways to spot conservative men include if they're holding
a fish in one of their profile pictures. Someone, please
explain to me why they chose this type of photo.
(21:46):
If I wanted fish, I could go hunt for one
in the grocery store. Yes, I also noticed those too.
I'm like, if you're holding fish or some kind of game,
Oh yeah, you're probably conservative.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
If it's like your pro file pick for sure.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Yeah yeah, yeah, No, you're not trying to impress women
with this one.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
By the way, I mean that's the other part.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
If if you work in finance, I agree, if you
work in finance, Sorry, y'all, country music depends on the artists.
I like to think of country in two ways. I
love my tractor country and more pop country. So I
also like, if you are a Morgan Walden fan, you
are a mecca like they are at one hundred and
twenty thousand percent.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Just so you know.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Military affiliation yeah, sorry, yeah, uh huh. Religious followings, yes,
American flag or anything patriotic. Those are the ones that
come to mind, but there are probably a dozen more. Also,
to refer back to your comment about moderates, I view
them equally to those who are not political. Just make
up your mind and they know how they feel about
certain issues. If they are not political, they should at
(22:50):
least recognize the privilege they have to be oblivious. However,
there are cases, such as individuals who are not originally
from America, where I can understand not being involved in politics.
If I do end up matching with someone who identifies
as a moderate, I often ask them for their thoughts
on issues of reproductive rights and LGBTQ plus issues. Very smart, Yes,
I'm with you. Those are definitely my markers as well.
(23:11):
When I was looking religion, anything too devoted to a
religion is like nah, no, we're good because we're definitely
not gonna mash so I definitely understood that. Yeah, these
are some really good ones though, and obviously law enforcement, if.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
You're in law enforcement, I'm probably already you don't like it.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yeah, these are these are really good.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, thank you for sharing, and yeah, listeners, we do.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Need to come back and revisit this one.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Uh So if there are new new flags to be
looking out for.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
I'm sure there's new terms that we need to come
back to, because you know, like things like situationships and
cuffing season about this already out the window.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Oh yeah, I used to.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
We have a long spreadsheet of ideas listeners, and we
just never get to some of them that I used
to just occasionally I had. I had a section on
there that was just new dating term. We'll do a
short episode about this. And I'm sure like if I
went back and looked at them now, a lot of
a lot of them aren't any use anymore. Yeah, but
(24:22):
it was it was interesting how many I was like, wait, what,
there's a new one. It was like it was related
to catfishing. It was like white live fishing or something,
and I was like, this just sounds like a date,
but it's basically you tell white lies on the first
date and make yourself sound better and like, I don't
know that that needs a specific I feel like the
(24:44):
cat happens.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
I'll learned the term today. E MP. It's not what
you think? Okay is acronym?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Do you know what it is?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Eat my pants?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yeah, you're right. That was not what I I thought
it would be.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
I had to look it up. I was like, what
is this anyway? Moving on?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yes, moving on. We have another message from Helena. I
really liked your two parter on friendship. I'm deeply introverted
in a lot of ways, but I'm finding more and
more that that is not helping me, because there are
certain things I want to be more involved with, including
social activism of all sorts, and it's just making me
pull back. I had one friend throughout my childhood seven
(25:31):
to eighteen, and barely more than that. For most of
my childhood, I had a few people I was friendly
with in eighth grade that I was in good stead
with in high school, but that was it. There was
a lot of bullying and ostracizing at my school, so
I was just as happy to ignore the lot of
them once high school wrapped. It's been twenty five years
and I haven't even gotten word of the reunions. Where
(25:54):
this starts to get interesting, I think, is that this
one friend and I no longer talk at all. That
disconnection started when I was in college. I had an
interesting experience where I realized we were likely going to
be drifting apart. I was starting college, she had dropped
out of high school, got married, and was expecting a kid.
The funny thing to me was that I had this
realization that we were going to be drifting apart a lot,
(26:15):
and eventually did. When I made my first grown up friend,
I was sitting outside before classes started in the fall
of my freshman year. It was August and not too
hot for once, and I was working on a cross
stitch project as a wedding present for my childhood friend.
I was thinking about how different our lives were going
to be and trying to think, how do I overcome this?
Should I overcome this? And this random dude sat down
(26:37):
next to me. He said, I've never seen someone actually
do that before, across ditch work, just the finished product,
and that opened up our first conversation. To this day,
he is someone I have to make sure my phone
is fully charged for because even though we will text
and check in with each other pretty regularly, when we
start to talk, we'll kill phone batteries. I have had
(26:59):
conversations with him that cover everything and nothing in particular
that last six hours. I've also had the fun experience
of making friends with a couple. This has happened several
times where I am friends with one and then the
other one. I don't end up feeling like a third
wheel too often. At least one thing I try to
make abundantly clear in those situations is that I like
(27:19):
both people involved. I don't want to hear about their
relationship drama if they're having any, unless they're asking for
date night ideas, present ideas, or something similar. I might
be aarroas, but I'm a good sounding board, and if
they end up separating, I am keeping both. When I
moved halfway across the country to where I am now,
I was really concerned with how I was going to
(27:40):
make a social network. I used the meetup app to
find a group called Social Introverts in my new area
and found out that there was a board game subgroup
that met regularly, so I went to that and started
making friends, which led to my current roommate. The whole
work friend thing is weird to me. I want to
keep my world a bit more separated, but it is
(28:02):
nice to be friendly with my coworkers. I think the
struggle is that there are certain boundaries that get crossed,
especially with gender and power dynamics that pop up. Yeah,
I'm so glad you enjoyed those episodes. I've said before,
those episodes had a big impact on me too, and
how I was interacting with some friends, and it calls
me to reach out to some friends I hadn't reached
(28:22):
out to in a long time because they had kids
and I assume they were too busy, and then they
immediately wanted.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
To hang out.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
So that was a really impactful one for me as well.
And I love it you found this group social introverts.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And yes, Lena has sent in a lot of board
game suggestions before, so if anybody is looking for some
board game suggestions, you can email us.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
I'll forward to the law.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yes, yes, it's always great when you find that friend
that you just click and then you can talk.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
For friends, Yeah, you might not see them or talk
to them for six months and then come back and
have like that pick up Yeah immediately, I love those moments.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
And then it started off for cross Stitch.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I love that I was likely was he hitting on you?
That was my head, but which is so ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
And then Cale wrote Hello, Annie and Samantha. I was
inspired to write to y'all because of your recent conversations
around Dragon Con. But there are some other things I'd
like to comment on as well. Women and guilt. I
resonate so hard with what Annie describes and all the
guilt that comes from social interactions. I was raised as
a woman, and my experience now living as a trans
(29:35):
man is absolutely influenced by the people pleasing slash caregiver
tendencies I was brainwashed into infusing with my identity. I
always say I'm a guy with a special kind of guy,
mostly because of my deep understanding of how normative womanhood
in America teaches us to gaslight ourselves from birth. That's
a level of understanding that comes with a lot of
anxiety and grief self soothing. I listened to this one
(29:59):
on my way back from I'm a Rose City comic
con in Portland, which was fitting. I love your thoughts
on the societal expectations when it comes to what sel
soothing looks like for men and women. Last year I
started deeply exploring being on the autism spectrum for the
first time, and much of what I've learned about what
sel soothing comes from that highly recommend the book Unmasking
(30:21):
Autism by Devin Price. Growing up a girl, I was
discouraged from physical stemming, playing video games and at a
certain age playing with slash cuddling dolls at a huge
stuffed animal collection. When I think about that, I ask, well,
what did I do?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Then?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I stuffed my discomfort down as deep as it could go,
and now at thirty two, I'm finally letting it out.
I love cuddling my animals and weighted blanket, playing Red
Dead Gemption over and over, and fidgeting in public. But
I realized that my male appearance makes it so nobody
bats an eye at me. It's very strange to feel
so afraid on the inside, and then to realize how
normalized it actually is. Four men, white men, and specifically
(31:00):
to stem in public and lastly, come a con. I
have been to the one in San Diego like ten
years ago, but this year was my first time going
to a con as an unmasked autistic adult, and it
felt amazing. I am starting to understand what Annie talks
about when it comes to the cathartic nature of just
letting yourself enjoy things that cool people like to pretend
are embarrassing or nerdy. I was bullied for being weird,
(31:24):
so there's a lot I'm unpacking, but I'm happy to
report that annual con trips are a priority for me now.
I'd love to go to Dragon Con someday. Attached as
a photo of the souvenir I got from this year's experience.
Thank you both for everything you do, especially in these
dark times. Ear voices brought me so much comfort through
the years, and I look forward to every episode. Your
hard work does not go unnoticed. Okay, so I've got
(31:48):
to talk about this wonderful photo of attached there's okay, Cal,
thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
You have written it over the years. Always love hearing
from you.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
So to a Paradot from Stephen Universe, which is a
character we.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Did Women around the World, fictional women around.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
The world whose ace uh Paradot sitting in the toilet,
which is a famous meme it's a famous picture of
this character if you were to google.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
So, that's fantastic, that's absolutely amazing. It's so good, it's
really good.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I love that they send us a fresh tattoo too immediately.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yes, oh yes, we've gotta you gotta immortalize this in
photograph and send it a good Yeah, it's got to
be shared. Well, I'm glad you had a good experience
at Roast City com Con.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
I know we've talked about how overwhelming they can be,
but how rewarding they can be. You should definitely come
to dragon Con if you do, let us know. Interestingly,
I was working on some dragon Con stuff last night.
I'm getting I'm getting prepared. So keep us updated on
(33:11):
your con experiences. Anything you'd like to share, we would
love to hear. And yeah, as always, we really appreciate
you sharing your thoughts and your experience. As for these
topics like women in guilt and self soothing.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
This is very valuable.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
And yeah, thank you for being open with us and
taking the time to write this out and share with us.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
And then we want to jump into games because obviously
we've all we're always asking for suggestions and games and
I am still asking for suggestions and games we need
to come back because it's been a and since we've
talked about them as well. But this one is from Marie,
who wrote, I've been a fan of your podcast for years.
I am also a big gamer, and while RPGs are
my main fix, I do love open worlds. Actually I'm
(34:12):
guessing that's because Aighties talked about not living open worlds.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Yes, yes, right.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
I'm a big fan of cozy games as well. I've
played so much Stardoo Valley I wanted to suggest some
lovely cozy games. I have played Tiny Bookshop, which drive
around a lovely seaside town in your book van, recommend
and sell books to locals, and also do quests for them,
just so wholesome and delightful. I even have all the
achievements on Steam. I think I looked this one up
(34:40):
and I felt like at the time that it was
only available on Steam, which is not my favorite format
of gaming. But I'm going to go back and look
it up because that looks like something right up my alley.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
That sounds cool, right.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
I did download this next one, and I don't think
i've played it yet, which is bear and Breakfast. You
are a bear who starts Renova and renting out cabinets
for human visitors who do freak out a bit if
they see you make the perfect places to stay. Do
some quest learn how to make things very satisfying. I've
seen this recommended on a few lists, so yeah, like
(35:12):
I said, after I think we received this email, I
did download this. I just haven't played it yet, but
i'll We're coming back to it. Then they also suggested
Little Known Galaxy, which is a Stardoo Valley in space
basically very fun, which was not successful at Stardoo Valley,
but my partner really really really loved it, so I
feel like this might be one of those games that
we both do. And then they suggest I was a
(35:36):
teenage exocolonist. You grow up in a space colony that
is under attacked by native creatures. There are a lot
of choices, including who you romance, who you were friends with,
what you study, and how you try and resolve these
issues on the planet. Every time you die, you start again,
but your character remembers a beautiful and deeply emotional game.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
I don't know how I feel about that.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
I think that's really interesting.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Staying concept it feels like that game that we played
that was your suggestion that I really liked oxen Free.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Yeah, oxen Free kind of like that how it builds
mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Oxen Free. The team behind oxen Free is releasing a
new game that is like it's a thirty minute game
and it's supposed to be terrifying, and it's like it's
a Netflix game. I have no idea how this's gonna work,
but it will like call your phone and you'll like
talk to people.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I don't know, I've heard it really terrifying.
Speaker 4 (36:34):
The team who did oxen Free did get bought out
by the Netflix.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
I do remember that because I was like, what is
this hauh huh? I know right, don't call me. I
don't want answer my phone. So it does matter.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
Yeah, anyway, marios On, There's probably more I could mention,
but please continue all your good work. I may not
live in the US, but I think we all need
something wholesome escabe into right now. Oh, I am a
Scott living in London at the moment.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
I know you've written it before and I've talked about
one to come and visit. Also if you do train right, yes,
because I'm very interested in sharing Rise in Scotland right now.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Let me know.
Speaker 4 (37:05):
Also, as an asexual person, I appreciate all you do
to educate people. You did a segment on Yesmin Benoir,
who's absolutely a hero of mine.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Thanks friend, Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
I always love hearing from you, and yes, we do
love all the suggestions, so thank you very much for
sending them in. I think after you email this, I
immediately forwarded it to Samantha's like.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
You did, and that's where I was like, Okay, I
definitely needed to download the Bear and Breakfast.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
The other ones. I gotta do the Tiny Bookshop. I
think it's available now.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Yeah, that sounds that sounds cute.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
And then we have Amelia who wrote you asked about
the game of Verdant, which I own and can highly recommend.
I also have another game from the same company, Caligo,
and pledge the kickstarter for their latest called The Knitting Circle.
In Verdant, each player tries to make the best room
layout with the happiest, healthiest plants. There are gold cards
for the room items and plants. In Calico, you're sowing
(38:04):
the coziest quilt that attracts cats. The goals are designed tiles, cats,
and buttons that are both cozy, beautiful games illustrated by BETHA. Sobel,
and some other games you might enjoy Matt City, which
is a short time a tile laying game about building
a city, Unspeakable Words, which is scrabble meats saving D
(38:26):
twenty rolls against Insanity with the cutest eldritch horror illustrations.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Okay, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
That last one was like four language to me, so
any explained that.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
So I'm guessing you've got scrabble.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Yeah, that part I got, all right.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
So a saving D twenty roll is like if something,
if a monster attacks you, you have to roll a
D twenty, which is a twenty sided dice to see
if you if you either survived the attack, how much
damage do you take.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Or do you like evade.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
So that's it's kind of determining how badly you get damaged,
if at all. And if it's against insanity, then it
would be you want to keep your sanity, and if
you fail the D twenty saving role, you would lose
your sanity by bit by bit usually probably, and.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Then you know Altratar that's cute.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
Yeah, yeah, okay, Okay, okay, okay, I'm just shrinked by this. Yeah,
doubt Yeah, I think we need I think we would
need to grab this one.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Yeah, that sounds that sounds fun and really creative. That's
one of the things I love hearing about all these games.
They're so creative.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
So that is what we have today for a listener mail.
But please keep writing in. We do love hearing from
from you. We appreciate so much getting these suggestions, these perspectives,
hearing from you, like what's going on in your life.
And as listeners know, we are in the middle of
a series, an ongoing series about organizations doing good work
(40:08):
in the United States and across the world to give
us hope. So if there are organizations you would like
for us to shout out, especially local organizations, we would
love to know about them, and we're planning on we
are planning on chatting them out.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
So yes, yes, one Dedicade episode for that.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
And if you would like to email us about anything, whatever,
suggestions or these organizations, you can. Our email is Hello
at Stuff Onnever Told You dot com or some doucecat
Mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff
I Never Told You for us on YouTube. We have
some merchandise at comp Bureau, and we have a book
you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks so
(40:49):
always to our super producers Casey Chandler and Rima, and
our executive producer Maya. Thank you and thanks to you
for listening. Stuff I Never Told You is production by
Heart Radio. For more podcast or my heart Radio, you
can check out the heart Radio app, Apple podcast or
have you listen to your favorite shows
Hey, this is Annie and Smith Thaugh and welcome to
stuff I never told your productive of iHeartRadio. And today
we're really excited to bring back our listener mail episodes.
It has been a hot minute since we have done
(00:27):
one of these.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Samantha h.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Sometimes I get I forget how much we do until
I'm looking back over all of the all of the
listener mail. That being said, as we've mentioned in recent episodes,
if we do not respond to you it.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
We do read it.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Occasionally I'll find something in the junk email that shouldn't
have gone to the chunk of meal, but that's pretty rare.
And we did go through a transition to a new
email address, but I still check the old one and
the new one. It's supposed to afford to the new
one anyway, and from what I understand it does.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I've seen it in action.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
But just so you know, but I do apologize because
usually I'm the one that answers listener mail, and I
just have added in me and I didn't realize for
how long. But I this is my new I'm gonna
answer listener mail. This is my goal. I'm going to
get back into it. So some of these are from
a while ago. I'll say that too. Uh yeah, but
(01:32):
we love hearing from you. Thank you so much for
taking the time, and we wanted to read some of
the listener mail we've received for this episode, starting with Lena,
I know you've written in about how to pronounce your name.
I'm not sure. I tried to find that email but
I couldn't, but please write in again and let us
(01:55):
know if we've got it wrong. We love hearing from you,
Lena wrote, I was so excited to hear your review
of The Bird Cage.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I just went to go.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
See an anniversary showing at my local theater, so I
was all primed to sing we Are Family.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I must have been an early.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Teenager when this came out, but I remember seeing it
at some point with my parents, who didn't seem to
think much of the general content. We were all fans of
Robin Williams already, along with Gene Hackman. What stands out
to me is that shortly after this film came out,
my father went to go find the original play, a
movie that casual fola I can't pronounce it right either,
(02:33):
because he was interested in seeing how the character shifted.
I agreed that val the Sun is really kind of
a Brett. Although one of the things that I think
is a beautiful subtle way in which they show how
he was raised is when he starts mimicking his parents
and how they do the whole drama queen reaction. He
uses the same phrases I woke up feeling so good.
(02:54):
This can't work. This can't work as Armand and Albert,
And while that is just dialogue, I thought those were
super cut ways to show that he is a product
of his parents. But in the original film slash Play,
he's even worse. He's kind of bitterly nasty in a
way that can't be played off. As well, he's young
and in love, so he's kind of stupid. Barbara is
(03:16):
also a little bit different in the original. I think
in the bird Cage that while Barbara kind of sets
the whole lie off and is a little manipulative in
that way, again, young and in love equal stupid, but
she does show some examples of character and spine, asserting
to be called Barbara rather than Barbie, telling Goldman's that
she would have liked to be part of their family,
and threatening to stay. But in the original she's so
(03:39):
insignificant it's like she's barely there but in the bird cage.
Especially when I watched it this last time in the theater,
the ones that stand out are the mom's.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I don't think I.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Realized how manipulative Louise is. She's the one who comes
up with the plan of using Barbara's white wedding to
distract and distance the senator. She's the one who comments
on how easy it is to manipulate the media and
get the Pope's blessing. She's the one who, after realizing
her husband is infatuated with another conservative woman hello jealous
(04:10):
much who is actually a man in drag, breaks down
into her white woman tears and says, someone has to
like me best. I mean, maybe she was genuinely upset,
but it got me thinking. Then there's Catherine VAL's mother
or bearer could work too. She has no shame in
recognizing that she's not mothering material, but she's grateful to
(04:31):
Armand for how he was able to help her out.
She clearly appreciates armand even flirting with him again. And
she doesn't seem to hate Albert or dislike her son.
But she's not maternal and that's okay. And yes, I'll
throw Albert in there too, because he's clearly nurturing and
caring unless you're chewing gum while he's singing than God
Help you. After realizing that it was Val that Armand
(04:54):
is meeting, he just quietly goes in and checks on
his boy, tucks him.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
In, and tidies up.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
His whole plan of finally just acting as Armand's wife
and VAL's mother and leaning into his ability to add,
live and act is all to help support his family.
He seems deeply touched by Barbara, reaching out to her
and encouraging her to be who she's going to be.
Oh and I wanted to share this too, YouTube link.
It's a collection of missing scenes, some of which flush
(05:20):
out the characters a little bit more. I love the
one of Albert reacting to the cake being inaccurately marked,
and then also daydreaming him and Armand pushing their grandchildren
around in a stroller. Anyway, thank you so much for
covering this film. One final thought, I had forgotten how
powerful it was for Armand to demonstrate his love and
commitment to Albert. The palimony agreement is really lovely, especially
(05:44):
when this was in the midst of Don't Ask, Don't
Tell and the Defense of Marriage Act. So yeah, there's
some stuff that doesn't hold up. Oh the dance number. Uh,
but the relationships are amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So much of this is really cool to hear from
somebody who's seen the play and the older the older
film and how they differ. I'm so glad we chose
this movie because we were between a couple things, and
I'm really happy that it has resonated. And we didn't mention,
but it had a Broadway revival last month when we
(06:20):
we missed that somehow.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
But yeah, you make so many, so many great points.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I hadn't picked up on a lot of this stuff,
So I think that's really cool about how Val, who
I was kind of tough on in that episode, about
how he did pick up his parents' mannerisms. That's a
really cool detail to notice. It was sweet. Their relationship
was sweet. And you're right. Going back when it was
(06:48):
coming out, we talked about, you know, how AIDS and
HIV and all that had really had an impact on
what type of movie with gay characters were being made,
and how this one was so different, But we didn't
talk about DOMA and don't Don't tell so.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah, that was a lot. You know what.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
I just realized as we were sitting here talking about
the Sun, who was played by Dan Futterman. He actually
plays the gay, straight good dude in Sex and the
City that Charlotte has a relationship with. Do you remember,
like she thought he was gay but he at it
turned out to be straight.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Don't know why.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
That just feels like it's aligned to him playing that
character in the Bird Cage.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Oh it could be, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Sometimes it's the tongue in cheeks like I remember him
from this. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
They just hit me though as she was talking as.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
You were ready, and I was like, oh, yeah, I
don't know why that just hit me now. But there
you the correlations, the correlations.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
You are full of them.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah. I try.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
And then Leslie, thank you. Leslie wrote this and I
appreciate this very much. I have a suggestion specifically for Samantha,
because I think it would be good for her and
her whole class to add a boundary about body comments. Samantha,
it might feel tricky because you're fairly new to teaching
a class, but you can incorporate a boundary of telling
your class to ask permission before sharing comments and advice
(08:13):
about bodies in before and after your class.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
A little announcement before.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Or at the beginning of a class that quote, comments
and compliments are not always welcome, so please ask the
recipient if they're open to comments compliments before sharing. If
you want to make it slightly longer, you can mention
things you've said in the podcast. Like people is feeling
about their bodies can change from day to day. The
degree of sensitivity and even self esteem levels are also
often always in flux is a boundary we all need
(08:39):
to practice and be aware of, and it might give
some of your students' customers permission to opt out graciously.
If you're worried that some might not be able to
keep it to themselves, maybe bring some paper and pins
and ask them to write it down instead. They can
decide if they want to give it to the person. Afterwards,
Some might think better of it, and the recipient can
decide not to take it or look if they don't
want to. This is if they're filling the compliment, they
(09:01):
have a physical memento to keep. If they want, please
take any, all or none of my suggestions as it
fits your needs. I think these are some really great suggestions.
There is definitely conversations in my mind where I'm like,
I want to make sure my.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Class fills safe there.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
And having people comment about bodies even when they don't
like even when they think they know someone so.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Well, it's always like eugh.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
So these are really good suggestions, And thank you for
listening to that episode as well as my concerns because
obviously suggestions like this are really helpful and it also
validates my feelings of like I feel like we.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Need to figure out boundaries.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Yeah, yes, yes, these were excellent suggestions. Last Lesta, thanks
thanks for writing it, Ashley Rope, because you were talking
about community gardens fruit trees in your area. You were
wondering if you could pick peaches, I think, and wanting
some new resources. I am wondering if you have heard
of fruit share programs. There are a few different main models.
(09:58):
I am thinking more of the community based ones. There
are websites or apps where people sign up to either
pick people's excess fruit off their trees or pick the
fruit for people who aren't able to and split it
with them, basically neighborhood fruit surplus sign up. Maybe your
area has one.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I bet we do.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
I bet that sounds amazing and I haven't even thought
of this as an option.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I've seen people put.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Out signs yeah that say you can like on their
own property that gives like directions, but having a community
board sounds like it would be a phenomenal idea.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I'm gonna have to go look that up.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Because yes, peaches, you were right, because there was peaches
growing in a communal garden on the west side properties.
Then I was like, can I get these? I don't know,
I don't know who it belongs to, but it was
in like the community gardens. But I know oftentimes community
gardens can also carve out spaces for individuals to have
their own small part.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
So like, yes, York correctly was peaches. And now I'm
don't have.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
To go look because I love fresh fruit and paying
a ridiculous amount, which I'm more than willing to pay
for fresh, locally grown fruit or foods. But at the
same time, if there's access that's been to going to waste, yes,
I'm down. Someone brought me mangoes from their mango tree
from Florida.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Oh nice. Recently, I know, yes, just recently nice.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I won a prize somebody brought me fresh blueberries and
a ton of banana peppers. I have had to come
up with all kinds of banana pepper recipes.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
It's been great. I love this.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
This is got two banana peppers. I've got two banana peppers.
I had two helipanos, and I have two giant big
boy bell.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Peppers, Big boys, big boy, big Yes. So clearly we're
very interested in this. Thanks for sending that along, Ashley.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
And I'm gonna need more of this. Yes.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
And then Ray friend of the show wrote in with
an update about our episode in Deborah, because she was
actually one of the ones like yes, talk about Deborah
and then we got the episode.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
She's like, oh, let me tell you.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I got specific books I'm getting from the library and
you're gonna need to know more.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
And I'm like, yes, that wrot give it to me.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
She has sent us several messages on Instagram, right, you know,
I see them. I don't always respond all the time,
but I appreciate all the messages that we get. It
feels like my friends sending me good, good, good, funny things.
And then she continued over on email, She's like, Okay,
I have so much more. So she gave us a
little bit of uh context in the so she wrote, Hello, Sam,
(12:27):
Annie and other members of the Sminty team. Here's the
continuation of Instagram research rabbit hole. I went down forget
the photos attached to this email, as I wanted to
be sure you could get access to the important pages
that I cited in my message just previously.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
And yeah, she.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Did send those photos. It was great, uh medicure, your
nails look amazing. Hello, So you know I couldn't help,
But notice she says, just a recap. I pulled what
I sent via ig here and here from the book
quote and Introduction to the Old Testament, The Canon and
Christian Imagination by Walter Bergerman and Tom Linefeldt.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I hope I said that right on the second edition.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
So the second major part of the book is a
section titled the Prophets, and chapter thirteen is all about
the Book of Judges. The authors break down three sections
of the book, starting with a brief intro that focuses
on the occupation of Canaan by the ancient Israelites, and
then the central section, which focuses on what were likely
remembers stories about folks who made a splash in public
life in ancient Israel when it was still mostly run
(13:32):
by tribal leaders, so there's a lot of hero stories
like Sampson and Deborah. The authors focus on the fact
that the Song of Deborah is likely one of the
earliest depictions of how the ancient Israelites understood their faith.
The author also state that the poem has remarkable rhetorical
power based on what they previously wrote about ancient Hebrew
poetry showing a dialogue between characters as compared to an
(13:54):
outside narrator telling the story. I think the fact that
so much of deborah story being told from her own perspective,
with the words being written as if they were coming
directly from her to the reader, definitely takes her out
of the passive voice territory and gives her not only
a seat at the center of the action, but also
lets her be the one to communicate our stories. I'll
send more information I get it, especially whenever I'm able
(14:15):
to get more books through the interlibrary loan, but wanted
to send this along to you all first while I
had something to contribute, and she does send us more
so this is from the Instagram posts.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
She says in this Instagram post.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
She says, if you want to dive in the darker
side of the Old Testament, you can explore David's sociopathic
tendencies and how he gained his wives Abigail and Bathsheba,
in both cases trying to pretend innocence while he caused
the deaths of their first husbands. David was a real peach.
I think we've talked about that before. I'm like, these
are not good guys, and yet we hil them as
good guys. And they do a lot because they want
(14:49):
another woman. They're willing to kill people for other women,
which is like, really gross. And he also sees them
as properties. But moving on, She also goes on to
say mostly he finished reading The Prophetic Imagination by Walter Bergerman,
and while he does not mention Deborah by name, he
does contrast prophets like her with the author's understandings of
God's law in the Old Testament. She talks about the
(15:11):
comparisons between Deborah, Isaiah, Moses, and Amos with royal consciousness
like that practiced by kings, David Solomon and others who
followed after them, and continued the line to the Pharisees
and sadducees of the New Testament who are following more
oppressive social orders that aligned with the ideas of empire.
He talks a lot about how prophetic imagination, hence the title,
draws on themes of both spare grief and hope. He
(15:34):
contrasts hope with optimism, making the point that hope does
not make light of the difficult circumstances in the Israeli
presents found themselves in, worn down by trying to simply
survive under repressive regimes, be they Israeli kings, Babylonian empires,
or Roman tatriarchs. His point seems to be that the
point of a prophetic leader like Moses or Isaiah, and
(15:55):
likely Deborah is to challenge the old royal imperial order
and call God's people back to showing compassion to all
and using hope as a way to inspire people to
not only imagine a better world, but to fight for
it even when things feel helpless. He goes on to
talk about Jesus ministry with the prophetic tradition, But I
figured you all would want to focus on Deborah. Yeah,
(16:16):
so it's definitely that type of conversation. Who Deborah was
and bringing that out. So thank you so much Ray
for doing get that deep dive like you really did.
We might need to just get you on the show
and have a conversation with us about it.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I love that you have like library books on loan
and the pictures you can see, like all the pages.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
It's great.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
It's a good old fashioned like research montage.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
She's researching for the good of all.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
And we thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yes, yeah, we really do, because we did struggle to
find We didn't think we thought there'd be more. Yeah, yeah,
so we really appreciate it. We always appreciate it when
you listeners do send us this stuff that you're looking into. Benro,
(17:07):
I love the show and all you do. Thanks for
staying strong despite the fascist insanity you live under. In
your latest Happy Hour, you were recounting the story of
rehabilitating Annie's car and mentioned the stereotypical ask a man
for car help, And I'd like to offer the perspective
of the man who gets asked. In my experience, nearly
(17:30):
nobody knows or cares about cars, regardless of gender. And
that's fine, but men tend to just not ask for
help on this topic as much as women do, probably
because they are afraid of being judged as unmanly. It's
a valid fear, as car culture has historically been very misogynistic,
as I've developed a reputation amongst my friends as the
car guy who doesn't judge our but little men for
(17:52):
not being car guys. Men in my life have dared
to ask my help with car stuff, and I would
say I get genuine asked for help equally from all genders. Now,
the other facet of this is that obviously anyone can
do car repairs, and it's super empowering to do so.
A petite lady might have a slightly harder time freeing
a tight bolt than what a big, brawny dude, but
(18:14):
f sat she can just put a longer cheater pipe
on the wrench to get the necessary leverage. It's a
very accessible and equitable possible task to do. I encourage
everyone in my life to get hands on their vehicle
whenever possible. If you do have the car person doing
some repairs for you, get in there and ask them
to make you the hands, ask them what needs to
(18:37):
be done, how and why?
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Love that you know what I have been guilty of,
like shaming men. If they don't know a car. Fact,
just joking about. But patriarchy hurts everyone, it.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Does, it does.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I'm really glad you wrote in about this because I
remember in this Happy Hour. It's so funny because I'm
worrying about my car to day. Today's the day I
go mess with my car. Once a week, I go
and make sure it's still something's growing into the trunk.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
You have mushrooms.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
No, no, no, it's just in the seam. It's not
inside the trunk, but like the seam of the trunk,
and it's these beautiful green and sprouts. But anyway, uh,
I think this is wonderful advice.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I do think it's really empowering.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
When you know how to fix things or even just
like generally you can kind of have a diagnostic of
this is probably the issue. I think that's really really helpful.
I remember when this Happy Hour came out, it was
July fourth, So this is actually like a year.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
You came to help me. Yeah, yes, it was the fourth,
It was the fourth of July.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Well, well it was because it was a two part process,
because your partner came and it.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Helped with one thing, and then I had my other first.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Partner because it didn't actually help. It helped for that day.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
It helped for that day.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Was it was just the battery, really well, there was
a bunch of other things, but the main issue was
the battery.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
So it kind of just happened that way.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
But yeah, I just kind of felt that, you know,
I'm asking these dudes in my life or my friend's
life to come help me with the car. So it
just sort of felt like the stereotype was playing out.
But I think you're completely right because I believe I
also told the story in that episode that my ex
boyfriend he knew nothing about cars, and he wasn't ashamed
(20:35):
to admit it.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
He was like, nope, we were cock so funny. I
don't know how to do that. Okay, fair enough, fair enough,
that understood this.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I got it.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
And our friend of the showp In Bowlin, he's kind
of a car guy, so maybe he's offered to help
me with some things before, so maybe we can fill
him up or something. Okay, yeah, the learning facts to
learn it to do it myself.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Yeah, yes, get your hands in there, yes, okay.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
And then we have Mia who wrote about our episode
about men lying about politics on dating apps, episode which
it probably should come back and revisit because I think
it's gotten worse. But anyways, this is what they wrote.
Thanks for bringing light to how often this happens on
dating apps. I identify as an assist gender Asian, heterosexual,
twenty three year old woman who has used platforms such
as Hinge Tender and Bumble as someone who bases my
(21:25):
relationship preference on political affiliations. I also believe it reveals
someone's moral beliefs. I have noticed followed some clear signs
that indicate if a person leans more conservatively in their beliefs.
Some ways to spot conservative men include if they're holding
a fish in one of their profile pictures. Someone, please
explain to me why they chose this type of photo.
(21:46):
If I wanted fish, I could go hunt for one
in the grocery store. Yes, I also noticed those too.
I'm like, if you're holding fish or some kind of game,
Oh yeah, you're probably conservative.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
If it's like your pro file pick for sure.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Yeah yeah, yeah, No, you're not trying to impress women
with this one.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
By the way, I mean that's the other part.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
If if you work in finance, I agree, if you
work in finance, Sorry, y'all, country music depends on the artists.
I like to think of country in two ways. I
love my tractor country and more pop country. So I
also like, if you are a Morgan Walden fan, you
are a mecca like they are at one hundred and
twenty thousand percent.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Just so you know.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Military affiliation yeah, sorry, yeah, uh huh. Religious followings, yes,
American flag or anything patriotic. Those are the ones that
come to mind, but there are probably a dozen more. Also,
to refer back to your comment about moderates, I view
them equally to those who are not political. Just make
up your mind and they know how they feel about
certain issues. If they are not political, they should at
(22:50):
least recognize the privilege they have to be oblivious. However,
there are cases, such as individuals who are not originally
from America, where I can understand not being involved in politics.
If I do end up matching with someone who identifies
as a moderate, I often ask them for their thoughts
on issues of reproductive rights and LGBTQ plus issues. Very smart, Yes,
I'm with you. Those are definitely my markers as well.
(23:11):
When I was looking religion, anything too devoted to a
religion is like nah, no, we're good because we're definitely
not gonna mash so I definitely understood that. Yeah, these
are some really good ones though, and obviously law enforcement, if.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
You're in law enforcement, I'm probably already you don't like it.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yeah, these are these are really good.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, thank you for sharing, and yeah, listeners, we do.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Need to come back and revisit this one.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Uh So if there are new new flags to be
looking out for.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
I'm sure there's new terms that we need to come
back to, because you know, like things like situationships and
cuffing season about this already out the window.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Oh yeah, I used to.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
We have a long spreadsheet of ideas listeners, and we
just never get to some of them that I used
to just occasionally I had. I had a section on
there that was just new dating term. We'll do a
short episode about this. And I'm sure like if I
went back and looked at them now, a lot of
a lot of them aren't any use anymore. Yeah, but
(24:22):
it was it was interesting how many I was like, wait, what,
there's a new one. It was like it was related
to catfishing. It was like white live fishing or something,
and I was like, this just sounds like a date,
but it's basically you tell white lies on the first
date and make yourself sound better and like, I don't
know that that needs a specific I feel like the
(24:44):
cat happens.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
I'll learned the term today. E MP. It's not what
you think? Okay is acronym?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Do you know what it is?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Eat my pants?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yeah, you're right. That was not what I I thought
it would be.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
I had to look it up. I was like, what
is this anyway? Moving on?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yes, moving on. We have another message from Helena. I
really liked your two parter on friendship. I'm deeply introverted
in a lot of ways, but I'm finding more and
more that that is not helping me, because there are
certain things I want to be more involved with, including
social activism of all sorts, and it's just making me
pull back. I had one friend throughout my childhood seven
(25:31):
to eighteen, and barely more than that. For most of
my childhood, I had a few people I was friendly
with in eighth grade that I was in good stead
with in high school, but that was it. There was
a lot of bullying and ostracizing at my school, so
I was just as happy to ignore the lot of
them once high school wrapped. It's been twenty five years
and I haven't even gotten word of the reunions. Where
(25:54):
this starts to get interesting, I think, is that this
one friend and I no longer talk at all. That
disconnection started when I was in college. I had an
interesting experience where I realized we were likely going to
be drifting apart. I was starting college, she had dropped
out of high school, got married, and was expecting a kid.
The funny thing to me was that I had this
realization that we were going to be drifting apart a lot,
(26:15):
and eventually did. When I made my first grown up friend,
I was sitting outside before classes started in the fall
of my freshman year. It was August and not too
hot for once, and I was working on a cross
stitch project as a wedding present for my childhood friend.
I was thinking about how different our lives were going
to be and trying to think, how do I overcome this?
Should I overcome this? And this random dude sat down
(26:37):
next to me. He said, I've never seen someone actually
do that before, across ditch work, just the finished product,
and that opened up our first conversation. To this day,
he is someone I have to make sure my phone
is fully charged for because even though we will text
and check in with each other pretty regularly, when we
start to talk, we'll kill phone batteries. I have had
(26:59):
conversations with him that cover everything and nothing in particular
that last six hours. I've also had the fun experience
of making friends with a couple. This has happened several
times where I am friends with one and then the
other one. I don't end up feeling like a third
wheel too often. At least one thing I try to
make abundantly clear in those situations is that I like
(27:19):
both people involved. I don't want to hear about their
relationship drama if they're having any, unless they're asking for
date night ideas, present ideas, or something similar. I might
be aarroas, but I'm a good sounding board, and if
they end up separating, I am keeping both. When I
moved halfway across the country to where I am now,
I was really concerned with how I was going to
(27:40):
make a social network. I used the meetup app to
find a group called Social Introverts in my new area
and found out that there was a board game subgroup
that met regularly, so I went to that and started
making friends, which led to my current roommate. The whole
work friend thing is weird to me. I want to
keep my world a bit more separated, but it is
(28:02):
nice to be friendly with my coworkers. I think the
struggle is that there are certain boundaries that get crossed,
especially with gender and power dynamics that pop up. Yeah,
I'm so glad you enjoyed those episodes. I've said before,
those episodes had a big impact on me too, and
how I was interacting with some friends, and it calls
me to reach out to some friends I hadn't reached
(28:22):
out to in a long time because they had kids
and I assume they were too busy, and then they
immediately wanted.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
To hang out.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
So that was a really impactful one for me as well.
And I love it you found this group social introverts.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And yes, Lena has sent in a lot of board
game suggestions before, so if anybody is looking for some
board game suggestions, you can email us.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
I'll forward to the law.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yes, yes, it's always great when you find that friend
that you just click and then you can talk.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
For friends, Yeah, you might not see them or talk
to them for six months and then come back and
have like that pick up Yeah immediately, I love those moments.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
And then it started off for cross Stitch.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I love that I was likely was he hitting on you?
That was my head, but which is so ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
And then Cale wrote Hello, Annie and Samantha. I was
inspired to write to y'all because of your recent conversations
around Dragon Con. But there are some other things I'd
like to comment on as well. Women and guilt. I
resonate so hard with what Annie describes and all the
guilt that comes from social interactions. I was raised as
a woman, and my experience now living as a trans
(29:35):
man is absolutely influenced by the people pleasing slash caregiver
tendencies I was brainwashed into infusing with my identity. I
always say I'm a guy with a special kind of guy,
mostly because of my deep understanding of how normative womanhood
in America teaches us to gaslight ourselves from birth. That's
a level of understanding that comes with a lot of
anxiety and grief self soothing. I listened to this one
(29:59):
on my way back from I'm a Rose City comic
con in Portland, which was fitting. I love your thoughts
on the societal expectations when it comes to what sel
soothing looks like for men and women. Last year I
started deeply exploring being on the autism spectrum for the
first time, and much of what I've learned about what
sel soothing comes from that highly recommend the book Unmasking
(30:21):
Autism by Devin Price. Growing up a girl, I was
discouraged from physical stemming, playing video games and at a
certain age playing with slash cuddling dolls at a huge
stuffed animal collection. When I think about that, I ask, well,
what did I do?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Then?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I stuffed my discomfort down as deep as it could go,
and now at thirty two, I'm finally letting it out.
I love cuddling my animals and weighted blanket, playing Red
Dead Gemption over and over, and fidgeting in public. But
I realized that my male appearance makes it so nobody
bats an eye at me. It's very strange to feel
so afraid on the inside, and then to realize how
normalized it actually is. Four men, white men, and specifically
(31:00):
to stem in public and lastly, come a con. I
have been to the one in San Diego like ten
years ago, but this year was my first time going
to a con as an unmasked autistic adult, and it
felt amazing. I am starting to understand what Annie talks
about when it comes to the cathartic nature of just
letting yourself enjoy things that cool people like to pretend
are embarrassing or nerdy. I was bullied for being weird,
(31:24):
so there's a lot I'm unpacking, but I'm happy to
report that annual con trips are a priority for me now.
I'd love to go to Dragon Con someday. Attached as
a photo of the souvenir I got from this year's experience.
Thank you both for everything you do, especially in these
dark times. Ear voices brought me so much comfort through
the years, and I look forward to every episode. Your
hard work does not go unnoticed. Okay, so I've got
(31:48):
to talk about this wonderful photo of attached there's okay, Cal,
thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
You have written it over the years. Always love hearing
from you.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
So to a Paradot from Stephen Universe, which is a
character we.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Did Women around the World, fictional women around.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
The world whose ace uh Paradot sitting in the toilet,
which is a famous meme it's a famous picture of
this character if you were to google.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
So, that's fantastic, that's absolutely amazing. It's so good, it's
really good.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I love that they send us a fresh tattoo too immediately.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yes, oh yes, we've gotta you gotta immortalize this in
photograph and send it a good Yeah, it's got to
be shared. Well, I'm glad you had a good experience
at Roast City com Con.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
I know we've talked about how overwhelming they can be,
but how rewarding they can be. You should definitely come
to dragon Con if you do, let us know. Interestingly,
I was working on some dragon Con stuff last night.
I'm getting I'm getting prepared. So keep us updated on
(33:11):
your con experiences. Anything you'd like to share, we would
love to hear. And yeah, as always, we really appreciate
you sharing your thoughts and your experience. As for these
topics like women in guilt and self soothing.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
This is very valuable.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
And yeah, thank you for being open with us and
taking the time to write this out and share with us.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
And then we want to jump into games because obviously
we've all we're always asking for suggestions and games and
I am still asking for suggestions and games we need
to come back because it's been a and since we've
talked about them as well. But this one is from Marie,
who wrote, I've been a fan of your podcast for years.
I am also a big gamer, and while RPGs are
my main fix, I do love open worlds. Actually I'm
(34:12):
guessing that's because Aighties talked about not living open worlds.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Yes, yes, right.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
I'm a big fan of cozy games as well. I've
played so much Stardoo Valley I wanted to suggest some
lovely cozy games. I have played Tiny Bookshop, which drive
around a lovely seaside town in your book van, recommend
and sell books to locals, and also do quests for them,
just so wholesome and delightful. I even have all the
achievements on Steam. I think I looked this one up
(34:40):
and I felt like at the time that it was
only available on Steam, which is not my favorite format
of gaming. But I'm going to go back and look
it up because that looks like something right up my alley.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
That sounds cool, right.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
I did download this next one, and I don't think
i've played it yet, which is bear and Breakfast. You
are a bear who starts Renova and renting out cabinets
for human visitors who do freak out a bit if
they see you make the perfect places to stay. Do
some quest learn how to make things very satisfying. I've
seen this recommended on a few lists, so yeah, like
(35:12):
I said, after I think we received this email, I
did download this. I just haven't played it yet, but
i'll We're coming back to it. Then they also suggested
Little Known Galaxy, which is a Stardoo Valley in space
basically very fun, which was not successful at Stardoo Valley,
but my partner really really really loved it, so I
feel like this might be one of those games that
we both do. And then they suggest I was a
(35:36):
teenage exocolonist. You grow up in a space colony that
is under attacked by native creatures. There are a lot
of choices, including who you romance, who you were friends with,
what you study, and how you try and resolve these
issues on the planet. Every time you die, you start again,
but your character remembers a beautiful and deeply emotional game.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
I don't know how I feel about that.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
I think that's really interesting.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Staying concept it feels like that game that we played
that was your suggestion that I really liked oxen Free.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Yeah, oxen Free kind of like that how it builds
mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Oxen Free. The team behind oxen Free is releasing a
new game that is like it's a thirty minute game
and it's supposed to be terrifying, and it's like it's
a Netflix game. I have no idea how this's gonna work,
but it will like call your phone and you'll like
talk to people.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I don't know, I've heard it really terrifying.
Speaker 4 (36:34):
The team who did oxen Free did get bought out
by the Netflix.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
I do remember that because I was like, what is
this hauh huh? I know right, don't call me. I
don't want answer my phone. So it does matter.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
Yeah, anyway, marios On, There's probably more I could mention,
but please continue all your good work. I may not
live in the US, but I think we all need
something wholesome escabe into right now. Oh, I am a
Scott living in London at the moment.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
I know you've written it before and I've talked about
one to come and visit. Also if you do train right, yes,
because I'm very interested in sharing Rise in Scotland right now.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Let me know.
Speaker 4 (37:05):
Also, as an asexual person, I appreciate all you do
to educate people. You did a segment on Yesmin Benoir,
who's absolutely a hero of mine.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Thanks friend, Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
I always love hearing from you, and yes, we do
love all the suggestions, so thank you very much for
sending them in. I think after you email this, I
immediately forwarded it to Samantha's like.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
You did, and that's where I was like, Okay, I
definitely needed to download the Bear and Breakfast.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
The other ones. I gotta do the Tiny Bookshop. I
think it's available now.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Yeah, that sounds that sounds cute.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
And then we have Amelia who wrote you asked about
the game of Verdant, which I own and can highly recommend.
I also have another game from the same company, Caligo,
and pledge the kickstarter for their latest called The Knitting Circle.
In Verdant, each player tries to make the best room
layout with the happiest, healthiest plants. There are gold cards
for the room items and plants. In Calico, you're sowing
(38:04):
the coziest quilt that attracts cats. The goals are designed tiles, cats,
and buttons that are both cozy, beautiful games illustrated by BETHA. Sobel,
and some other games you might enjoy Matt City, which
is a short time a tile laying game about building
a city, Unspeakable Words, which is scrabble meats saving D
(38:26):
twenty rolls against Insanity with the cutest eldritch horror illustrations.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Okay, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
That last one was like four language to me, so
any explained that.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
So I'm guessing you've got scrabble.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Yeah, that part I got, all right.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
So a saving D twenty roll is like if something,
if a monster attacks you, you have to roll a
D twenty, which is a twenty sided dice to see
if you if you either survived the attack, how much
damage do you take.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Or do you like evade.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
So that's it's kind of determining how badly you get damaged,
if at all. And if it's against insanity, then it
would be you want to keep your sanity, and if
you fail the D twenty saving role, you would lose
your sanity by bit by bit usually probably, and.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Then you know Altratar that's cute.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
Yeah, yeah, okay, Okay, okay, okay, I'm just shrinked by this. Yeah,
doubt Yeah, I think we need I think we would
need to grab this one.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Yeah, that sounds that sounds fun and really creative. That's
one of the things I love hearing about all these games.
They're so creative.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
So that is what we have today for a listener mail.
But please keep writing in. We do love hearing from
from you. We appreciate so much getting these suggestions, these perspectives,
hearing from you, like what's going on in your life.
And as listeners know, we are in the middle of
a series, an ongoing series about organizations doing good work
(40:08):
in the United States and across the world to give
us hope. So if there are organizations you would like
for us to shout out, especially local organizations, we would
love to know about them, and we're planning on we
are planning on chatting them out.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
So yes, yes, one Dedicade episode for that.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
And if you would like to email us about anything, whatever,
suggestions or these organizations, you can. Our email is Hello
at Stuff Onnever Told You dot com or some doucecat
Mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff
I Never Told You for us on YouTube. We have
some merchandise at comp Bureau, and we have a book
you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks so
(40:49):
always to our super producers Casey Chandler and Rima, and
our executive producer Maya. Thank you and thanks to you
for listening. Stuff I Never Told You is production by
Heart Radio. For more podcast or my heart Radio, you
can check out the heart Radio app, Apple podcast or
have you listen to your favorite shows
Stuff Mom Never Told You News
Hosts And Creators
Anney Reese
Samantha McVey
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