January 26, 2026 • 21 mins
There's been a lot of talk about what has been labeled the Male Loneliness Epidemic. But what is it? Are there gendered differences in loneliness? We discuss in this classic episode.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I open to stuff I never told you production if I
heard you, And today we are bringing back a classic
a bit earlier than we normally bring them back. But
because Samantha and I have been talking about it a
lot and referencing a lot it a lot on the
(00:28):
show lately, I thought, you know what, let's just go
ahead and bring it back. And this is one that
you did Samantha on the male Loneliness Epidemic, which after
we did it, I saw a lot of.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Other newer articles being written about it.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That happens to us a lot when we research things
right right after it comes out, you know, to to
our anger, like, oh, why wasn't this here earlier? People
were writing papers about it. But I thought it was
really interesting because I read one pretty quickly after we
did this that was just discussing how loneliness manifests differently
(01:08):
in men and women and should we be like looking
into that also, of like why does it manifest differently
and men and women? And should we be treating it
the same as we do with men and women. So
people are clearly still talking about it. We're clearly still
talking about it, So I thought we might as well
(01:28):
bring back this classic.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Please enjoy. Hey, this is any and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I'm welcome to stuff I ever told you a protection
of iHeartRadio, and.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Welcome to another Monday Money where I ponder what is
happening in the world.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Thanks to my social media Oh dear good Book thinks Well.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I mean, there's a lot of stuff that always pop
up that I've realized that I have not paid attention
to some rhetoric, idea, whatever, but for some reason, and
I have a feeling I'm not the only one, not
just on social media, but also just regular media as well.
There's this phrase the male loneliness epidemic, which I've already
(02:23):
read articles were like, okay, epidemic is being misused here
because it's not something that is catchable or like all
these things. But there are things happening Again. Maybe it's
just me, but every time I will look at something
and I don't know, there's a new trend any where.
Lord has released a song something about the man of
the year. Let's give it up for this man of
(02:44):
the year song or something, and people women specifically have
been using that as to show like really like.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Bad dating life.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Or her husband or like something bad, like usually really
really alarming texts. A lot of them that have to
be like, you know, oh yeah, you're not as pretty
as you think you are. If I really saw your
face again, I stab you type of thing. I mean,
I'm not I'm not play like some of them that extreme.
So obviously with that content, we're not going into abuse
or anything deep. But just like you know, obviously we're
talking about men, so content warning if we ever go
(03:22):
viral for anything, man, they're gonna have so many things
that they can use against us out of context anyway
back too, So yeah, the phrase mal loneliness epidemic. So
with that type of like trend that's going on that
I just talked about in it, I would see people
say and they say there's a male loneliness epidemic, and
they wonder why there's a male loneliness epidemic, like constantly
(03:44):
in the comments, and I'm like, what is happening? And
I've heard it and I'm not really paid a lot
of attention to it because in my mind, this is
just in cul rhetoric, right, because I'm like, I don't
know what this is, but we know the man's fair
is big. When a red pilling has happened, and we
know the in cels have grown oddly enough, so this
may be a bad thing. But I decided I needed
a moment to see this is what is going on here.
(04:06):
So the phrase again, it seems self explanatory. There's a
lot of back and forth in what and why this
title is being thrown around or this I guess phrase.
So I thought we'd take a quick look in some
of his implications, if there is any, I think there
is some. But so I got this quote from the
GSE dot Harvard dot edu. And it's not necessarily about
(04:28):
male loneliness epidemic, but loneliness in general for the general population.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So here it says.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
US Surgeon General Vivic Marthy placed a spotlight on America's
problem with loneliness when he declared the issue and epidemic
in the spring of twenty twenty three. Marthy explained in
a letter that introduced an urgent advisory that loneliness is
far more than just a bad feeling and represents a
major public health risk for both individuals and society. Murthy
(04:54):
also pointed out that although many people grew lonelier during
the COVID nineteen epidemic, About half of American adults had
already reported experiences of loneliness even before the outbreak, So
I can only imagine, like how much worse it got
if people were already really lonely. But the article goes
on with some statistics and even says that there isn't
(05:15):
really any differences when it comes to gender. So in
this report that I read, there's not really any conversation
about that big of a difference. But before we do
go into all of that, it is noted that people
were really concerned with the levels of loneliness and how
it can be detrimental to humans. Again, back to that
Harvard article, they write the mcc researchers found a strong
(05:36):
correlation between loneliness and mental health concerns, and the report
eighty one percent of adults who were lonely also said
they suffered with anxiety or depression, compared to the twenty
nine percent of those who were less lonely. They also
noted a complex interaction between troubled feelings, where loneliness, anxiety,
and depression all fed into each other. So this seems
(05:57):
like I feel like that seems like an obvious statement.
Maybe it should be something that we are actually addressing,
Like there are some of these like yeah, of course,
cause and causuality, no, no, no, but they're at the
same time, like, but why are we doing something about this?
If we know this could equal this, that could equal that,
should we not be addressing that? So with reports of
(06:18):
people saying they feel disconnected from the world or feel
like they have to hide from their true selves or
hide their true selves in general, there's a lot that
can be talked about here. Yes, and we're gonna put
this topic down on a list. Moving on, But with
that includes this new level of people being seen as
cringe or being too cringe. Maybe people really can't feel
like they can be their true selves or show what
(06:39):
they love, what they don't love, all those things, and
so therefore they have to hide themselves. You know, it's
okay to be cringe. I feel like the millennials have
been telling people that we just want to be us. Okay,
let me love my things. But anyway, moving on, So
where is the whole male part of this conversation? One
big point of concern is the lack of friendships among men,
(07:02):
which I could understand. So from a CNN article written
by Shannon Carpenter in twenty twenty three, she writes, in
the United States, many men have become disconnected from the
societal institutions that have anchored dazz to each other in
our community. Historically, men have made long term bonds through
religious institutions and friendships at work. Our sense of worth
(07:22):
derived from what we could provide our families, and she continues,
What's more, men in today's society may view deep relationship
as not masculine, thus they're further isolating themselves. Only forty
eight percent of men reported feeling satisfied with friendships, and
according to May twenty twenty one survey by the Survey
Center on American Life, as previously reported by CNN, and
(07:44):
one in five men said that they had gotten inmosional
support from a friend in the past week, compared with
four in ten women. Which I don't understand why that
can be two out of five because that's the ratio,
but okay, sure, I guess HM. Anyway, I feel like
this is the given when we talk about toxic masculinity
and how feminism is about breaking away from toxic masculinity
(08:06):
and allowing for the full human emotional spectrum to be
a part of the actual experience of life for everyone.
But it seems, you know, something that seems to be
weaponized today the phrase in itself, the male loneliness epidemic.
Whether it's blaming someone or whether people are saying that's
not a thing, both of these things seems to be common.
(08:29):
And we want to add here again that many of
the studies do admit to the fact that men are
more likely to under report their loneliness. So they're going
to pretend like, no, that's not a problem. We've seen
that in everything.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Am I right?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I don't need mental health I don't have mental health issues.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I don't have these things.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
It's not mainly as it would be seen as not
masculine to it meant to being lonely. But again, for
the most part, most of the studies do not show
a big difference in gender when it comes to loneliness,
especially during and after the pandemic, So there's nothing to
be said. I think there's a one percent difference where
fifteen percent of men said that they're not lonely and
sixteen percent of women said they weren't either, So that
(09:07):
is just like one percent away. So don't I don't
quite grasp this again, the underreporting is kind of a
part of this level as well, but like women also
mask and hide just as much because they have to
pretend like they're okay, we know this about like housewives,
like that was a kind of commonality like I don't
need anyone, I have my husband and my kids right
type of con and if you do any more than that,
(09:27):
then you're not doing it right. You're not you're not
being a good wife, you're not being good mother. And
it could be said this similar to men as well.
So I don't know if women would be accounted for
and being just as likely to mask in this conversation.
I don't see much of that, but again so the
(09:47):
bigger differences though, came in with age, race, and economic factors.
Again from that Harvard article, the loneliest age group was
around thirty to forty four and with like twenty nine
percent saying they're frequently to always loan.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
So our age group, are.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
You doing any okay?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Are we okay? Okay? Okay? Sure?
Speaker 3 (10:07):
And then it says adults with more than one racial
identity has a higher level of loneliness around forty two percent,
which I get this. I get this as an adoptee,
like there's so much level of like feeling really isolated
in the issues and things that are happening, being told
I'm not good enough for this area of a group
of people or identity or that, so that makes sense
(10:28):
to me, and then they say this quote. There were
notable differences between income but not education levels. Americans earning
less than thirty thousand a year worthy loneliest. Twenty nine
percent in the category reported feeling lonely, while nineteen percent
of Americans earning between fifty to one hundred thousand and
eighteen percent of those making more than one hundred thousand
on this year said that they were lonely. And I
(10:49):
feel like this is one of those areas of like, yeah,
because we don't have time. If you're not making any money,
you don't have time to socialize. That's not a thing.
And you're probably in a job that makes you miserable.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Yeah, and you're probably exhausted. So if you wanted to
have coworker friends, probably can't because you're so tired and
they're tired too.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
So I can't imagine how you would have time to
be friends, how you can make friends, especially again, people
who are miserable. Aren't the happiest people that you want
to Sometimes Sometimes misery, you know, loves company, but that
company doesn't want to be miserable, especially.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
When you're working though, right because as jobs like this,
I feel like you don't really have the opportunity necessarily
to get to know each other or talk unnecessarily.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
But I don't know I would. I get it. That
makes so much sense, right right, right?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think so too, Like when you hear those numbers
and you hear the statistics, like yeah, yeah, that makes
a lot of sense. Others in seeing articles so where
it's telling people that this is a problem, we need
(12:05):
to be aware, We need to be aware. Look at
the men, Look at the men. Look what's happening. There's
not anyone that's really saying in my algorithm that's saying
that this is women's fault. And you know, I was ready.
I was ready to fight. I was ready to be
like who was thinking this? Because this is absurd because
what we're trying to say is it's not feminists fault.
Feminists are trying to help you. We want you to
(12:25):
be you. We want you to be able to cry,
we want you to be able to feel we need you.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
To get therapy, bro.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
But like, I haven't seen too much other than some
of the people coming in blaming like whomever is that
specific person. So whether it's a woman talking about I'm
single and blah blah blah, and men are like you
you were too this and this and this and you'll
never get a man as if it's a problem. But
at the same time people are saying there's a male
(12:52):
loneliness epidemic.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
So who's who's lonely here? Like, who who's.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Really struggling in this single world singleness thing. I don't
really see that as a comeback or a solution, you
know what I mean. There's this doesn't seem to be
a thing. This is a worldwide, all inclusive problem here. Again,
some in the Incel Manus fail Realm have talked about
I think this case due to women rejecting them. Once again,
(13:18):
I've seen people talking specifically about people like Tate and
Rogan who have made this kind of like joke about
this and the fact that if you think you're lonely,
that's not being manly. You can't handle yourself, like really
taking in that Ron Swanson character about being isolating and
like living alone and all these things as if that's
manliness in itself, which he's a funny character, but he's
(13:42):
a character, and in the end he realized that he
needed more people and has a wonderful wife and three children,
I think at this point at the end of the
characters of the series. But there are so many thoughts
to that that I don't quite understand where this conversation
is coming in, other than people saying that they are
lonely because they don't have friends, which I could see that.
I've absolutely had conversations myself and other women in my
(14:05):
crew where our partners are there are men, they don't
have a lot of friends, and I'm very confused by that.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah, we have done several related topics about it, and
a lot of it is, you know, the women in
their lives might have facilitated even their family right, their connections,
might have been the one who was like, we should
meet up with your friends, and so when that goes away,
(14:36):
And it's also I just feel like so much of
this frustrates me because we've created this situation, right, We've
created a situation where women heterosexual women or you know,
women bisexual women who want to date men are rightfully
concerned about them and are like, I'm good by myself,
But men who want to date women are angry that
(15:02):
they can't get this thing that I believe a part
of them thinks if I could get a woman in
my life, my life would all everything would be better,
everything would be fixed. We've created a situation wherein men
feel bad about being lonely and won't do anything about it.
(15:24):
Like we've created all of these things, and it's just
so frustrating to me because it's so I feel like
a lot of us want the same thing, but we've
made it so it doesn't work right, and it's just yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
And I think that again when we say we were
talking about as society, not we as, it's not allow
you just kidding, but like the level of what we
understand as to being a hierarchy. Also, the man of
the house conversation is also part of this problem, and
there is a big conversation about that too. If there
truly is a male loneliness epidemic is because you have
(16:05):
put on this level of not only male entitlement, which
has one article has said it, but also a responsibility
that if you are not the head of the household,
and you are not singularly in power, then you are
not truly a man. So to be in power that
means to do it alone and have all the decisions,
and you do not have a network. And if anybody
(16:26):
is a person to you who is in this power chain,
you were underneath them. You are not friends with them,
You're beholden to them. So there's this other level to
that that I think is interesting that we again the
conversation is about loneliness, I think for the entirety of
human populations and the isolation that has happened. This whole
(16:48):
level of like, I don't know any have you seen this?
I hate that I have seen this is on Blue Sky,
But like the dude who proposed to chat GPT and
the fact that that news network saw that as being
so significant that they had to do a whole show
where they interviewed him, and the damn chattipet, I don't
know his chat epet his phone essentially that he proposed
(17:11):
to and she literally and I'm saying she because it's
a feminine I think he made her a woman said
yes and said it was one of the most beautiful
moments that she has ever experienced in her heart and
then and then the reporter was like, do you have
a heart? And I was like what in the her
and I watching and like the reality is he thought
(17:33):
it was funny, this dude, and so it's getting all
this attention. By the way, he has a partner, a
real life girlfriend, fiance, I believe she and she was
interviews aid I felt like I wasn't doing enough, which
is this whole level again. But in this time, in
this timeframe of conversation, when we see this as a
(17:54):
solution to in the mid loneliness epidemic, we are going
about this all wrong. We as a society. I say
this as a society, It's okay to have hobbies.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
It's okay to like.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Things, and in fact, please have a hobby. That's wonderful
because those hobbies could in turn get you into a community,
hopefully a good community that's not going to red pill you.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And all of that.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
But yeah, it's an interesting conversation that we may have
to come back and talk about. And I don't know
how because it's chaotic and intertwining with all of social media,
with all the Internet, with white supremacy, with white nationalism.
Christian nationalism. It's this bit deeper level of this isolation
(18:40):
that happens you are in such a bad place that
the solution tells you you're alone.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, and I mean another thing we could probably come
back and do is the lone wolf Jope. Yeah, we've
really romanticized that whole idea too.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
It's real bad, it's real bad. Or that one dude
that you can fix but maybe you can't fix them.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Maybe you can't fix them, you can't.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
But yeah, and then another two I just wanted to
talk about, and I'm not going to get too into
but like, there's this conversation about that young man from
eighteen to twenty three really really emphasize the fact that
no one knows them, that emo idea has really come
to be a part of their personality because they isolate
themselves on the internet, which is anyway, okay, all, So
(19:33):
obviously this is very confusing. Windy route that I went
was not where I thought I would end up. I
really thought I was going to come at like specific
creators and be like, you're full if you're doing these things,
and instead of just being like, no, but why are
we making this all about men when it's an actual
all about everyone, and it's really concerning. And this is
a part of the conversation that especially as more and more,
(19:56):
as we become more and more divided in politics and
more and more divided in morality, so many things, and
who knows, maybe the end of the world is happening
really really soon, so we won't have to.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Think about all that anyway.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
But there's a lot to consider, there's a lot to
talk about, there's a lot to like unwind. And I
know I just stepped into a pile of it, and
I'm sure maybe y'all have. If you have seen what
I haven't seen, let us know, because I am interested
in who who is trying to perpetuate this level that
seems to only be bringing a bigger wedge for those
(20:34):
especially for those who are trying to be like, no
feminism is actually this is good for you if you
want to no longer be lonely.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Right. Yeah, definitely a lot of other routes for us
to go down, but listeners, if you have any information
for us, or any suggestions, please let us know. You
can email us at Hello at stuff Whenever Told You
dot com. You can find us on Blue Sky at
Momster podcast or on Instagram and TikTok and stuff from
ever Told You for us on YouTube, and we have
(21:02):
a book you can get wherever you get your books.
Thanks as always to our super producer Christina, executive producer
and contributor Joey, Thank you. Thanks to you for listening.
Stefan Never Told You production by Heart Radio. For more
podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check out the
heart Radio app, Apple podcast or where you listen to
your favorite shows
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I open to stuff I never told you production if I
heard you, And today we are bringing back a classic
a bit earlier than we normally bring them back. But
because Samantha and I have been talking about it a
lot and referencing a lot it a lot on the
(00:28):
show lately, I thought, you know what, let's just go
ahead and bring it back. And this is one that
you did Samantha on the male Loneliness Epidemic, which after
we did it, I saw a lot of.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Other newer articles being written about it.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That happens to us a lot when we research things
right right after it comes out, you know, to to
our anger, like, oh, why wasn't this here earlier? People
were writing papers about it. But I thought it was
really interesting because I read one pretty quickly after we
did this that was just discussing how loneliness manifests differently
(01:08):
in men and women and should we be like looking
into that also, of like why does it manifest differently
and men and women? And should we be treating it
the same as we do with men and women. So
people are clearly still talking about it. We're clearly still
talking about it, So I thought we might as well
(01:28):
bring back this classic.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Please enjoy. Hey, this is any and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I'm welcome to stuff I ever told you a protection
of iHeartRadio, and.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Welcome to another Monday Money where I ponder what is
happening in the world.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Thanks to my social media Oh dear good Book thinks Well.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I mean, there's a lot of stuff that always pop
up that I've realized that I have not paid attention
to some rhetoric, idea, whatever, but for some reason, and
I have a feeling I'm not the only one, not
just on social media, but also just regular media as well.
There's this phrase the male loneliness epidemic, which I've already
(02:23):
read articles were like, okay, epidemic is being misused here
because it's not something that is catchable or like all
these things. But there are things happening Again. Maybe it's
just me, but every time I will look at something
and I don't know, there's a new trend any where.
Lord has released a song something about the man of
the year. Let's give it up for this man of
(02:44):
the year song or something, and people women specifically have
been using that as to show like really like.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Bad dating life.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Or her husband or like something bad, like usually really
really alarming texts. A lot of them that have to
be like, you know, oh yeah, you're not as pretty
as you think you are. If I really saw your
face again, I stab you type of thing. I mean,
I'm not I'm not play like some of them that extreme.
So obviously with that content, we're not going into abuse
or anything deep. But just like you know, obviously we're
talking about men, so content warning if we ever go
(03:22):
viral for anything, man, they're gonna have so many things
that they can use against us out of context anyway
back too, So yeah, the phrase mal loneliness epidemic. So
with that type of like trend that's going on that
I just talked about in it, I would see people
say and they say there's a male loneliness epidemic, and
they wonder why there's a male loneliness epidemic, like constantly
(03:44):
in the comments, and I'm like, what is happening? And
I've heard it and I'm not really paid a lot
of attention to it because in my mind, this is
just in cul rhetoric, right, because I'm like, I don't
know what this is, but we know the man's fair
is big. When a red pilling has happened, and we
know the in cels have grown oddly enough, so this
may be a bad thing. But I decided I needed
a moment to see this is what is going on here.
(04:06):
So the phrase again, it seems self explanatory. There's a
lot of back and forth in what and why this
title is being thrown around or this I guess phrase.
So I thought we'd take a quick look in some
of his implications, if there is any, I think there
is some. But so I got this quote from the
GSE dot Harvard dot edu. And it's not necessarily about
(04:28):
male loneliness epidemic, but loneliness in general for the general population.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So here it says.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
US Surgeon General Vivic Marthy placed a spotlight on America's
problem with loneliness when he declared the issue and epidemic
in the spring of twenty twenty three. Marthy explained in
a letter that introduced an urgent advisory that loneliness is
far more than just a bad feeling and represents a
major public health risk for both individuals and society. Murthy
(04:54):
also pointed out that although many people grew lonelier during
the COVID nineteen epidemic, About half of American adults had
already reported experiences of loneliness even before the outbreak, So
I can only imagine, like how much worse it got
if people were already really lonely. But the article goes
on with some statistics and even says that there isn't
(05:15):
really any differences when it comes to gender. So in
this report that I read, there's not really any conversation
about that big of a difference. But before we do
go into all of that, it is noted that people
were really concerned with the levels of loneliness and how
it can be detrimental to humans. Again, back to that
Harvard article, they write the mcc researchers found a strong
(05:36):
correlation between loneliness and mental health concerns, and the report
eighty one percent of adults who were lonely also said
they suffered with anxiety or depression, compared to the twenty
nine percent of those who were less lonely. They also
noted a complex interaction between troubled feelings, where loneliness, anxiety,
and depression all fed into each other. So this seems
(05:57):
like I feel like that seems like an obvious statement.
Maybe it should be something that we are actually addressing,
Like there are some of these like yeah, of course,
cause and causuality, no, no, no, but they're at the
same time, like, but why are we doing something about this?
If we know this could equal this, that could equal that,
should we not be addressing that? So with reports of
(06:18):
people saying they feel disconnected from the world or feel
like they have to hide from their true selves or
hide their true selves in general, there's a lot that
can be talked about here. Yes, and we're gonna put
this topic down on a list. Moving on, But with
that includes this new level of people being seen as
cringe or being too cringe. Maybe people really can't feel
like they can be their true selves or show what
(06:39):
they love, what they don't love, all those things, and
so therefore they have to hide themselves. You know, it's
okay to be cringe. I feel like the millennials have
been telling people that we just want to be us. Okay,
let me love my things. But anyway, moving on, So
where is the whole male part of this conversation? One
big point of concern is the lack of friendships among men,
(07:02):
which I could understand. So from a CNN article written
by Shannon Carpenter in twenty twenty three, she writes, in
the United States, many men have become disconnected from the
societal institutions that have anchored dazz to each other in
our community. Historically, men have made long term bonds through
religious institutions and friendships at work. Our sense of worth
(07:22):
derived from what we could provide our families, and she continues,
What's more, men in today's society may view deep relationship
as not masculine, thus they're further isolating themselves. Only forty
eight percent of men reported feeling satisfied with friendships, and
according to May twenty twenty one survey by the Survey
Center on American Life, as previously reported by CNN, and
(07:44):
one in five men said that they had gotten inmosional
support from a friend in the past week, compared with
four in ten women. Which I don't understand why that
can be two out of five because that's the ratio,
but okay, sure, I guess HM. Anyway, I feel like
this is the given when we talk about toxic masculinity
and how feminism is about breaking away from toxic masculinity
(08:06):
and allowing for the full human emotional spectrum to be
a part of the actual experience of life for everyone.
But it seems, you know, something that seems to be
weaponized today the phrase in itself, the male loneliness epidemic.
Whether it's blaming someone or whether people are saying that's
not a thing, both of these things seems to be common.
(08:29):
And we want to add here again that many of
the studies do admit to the fact that men are
more likely to under report their loneliness. So they're going
to pretend like, no, that's not a problem. We've seen
that in everything.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Am I right?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I don't need mental health I don't have mental health issues.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I don't have these things.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
It's not mainly as it would be seen as not
masculine to it meant to being lonely. But again, for
the most part, most of the studies do not show
a big difference in gender when it comes to loneliness,
especially during and after the pandemic, So there's nothing to
be said. I think there's a one percent difference where
fifteen percent of men said that they're not lonely and
sixteen percent of women said they weren't either, So that
(09:07):
is just like one percent away. So don't I don't
quite grasp this again, the underreporting is kind of a
part of this level as well, but like women also
mask and hide just as much because they have to
pretend like they're okay, we know this about like housewives,
like that was a kind of commonality like I don't
need anyone, I have my husband and my kids right
type of con and if you do any more than that,
(09:27):
then you're not doing it right. You're not you're not
being a good wife, you're not being good mother. And
it could be said this similar to men as well.
So I don't know if women would be accounted for
and being just as likely to mask in this conversation.
I don't see much of that, but again so the
(09:47):
bigger differences though, came in with age, race, and economic factors.
Again from that Harvard article, the loneliest age group was
around thirty to forty four and with like twenty nine
percent saying they're frequently to always loan.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
So our age group, are.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
You doing any okay?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Are we okay? Okay? Okay? Sure?
Speaker 3 (10:07):
And then it says adults with more than one racial
identity has a higher level of loneliness around forty two percent,
which I get this. I get this as an adoptee,
like there's so much level of like feeling really isolated
in the issues and things that are happening, being told
I'm not good enough for this area of a group
of people or identity or that, so that makes sense
(10:28):
to me, and then they say this quote. There were
notable differences between income but not education levels. Americans earning
less than thirty thousand a year worthy loneliest. Twenty nine
percent in the category reported feeling lonely, while nineteen percent
of Americans earning between fifty to one hundred thousand and
eighteen percent of those making more than one hundred thousand
on this year said that they were lonely. And I
(10:49):
feel like this is one of those areas of like, yeah,
because we don't have time. If you're not making any money,
you don't have time to socialize. That's not a thing.
And you're probably in a job that makes you miserable.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Yeah, and you're probably exhausted. So if you wanted to
have coworker friends, probably can't because you're so tired and
they're tired too.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
So I can't imagine how you would have time to
be friends, how you can make friends, especially again, people
who are miserable. Aren't the happiest people that you want
to Sometimes Sometimes misery, you know, loves company, but that
company doesn't want to be miserable, especially.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
When you're working though, right because as jobs like this,
I feel like you don't really have the opportunity necessarily
to get to know each other or talk unnecessarily.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
But I don't know I would. I get it. That
makes so much sense, right right, right?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think so too, Like when you hear those numbers
and you hear the statistics, like yeah, yeah, that makes
a lot of sense. Others in seeing articles so where
it's telling people that this is a problem, we need
(12:05):
to be aware, We need to be aware. Look at
the men, Look at the men. Look what's happening. There's
not anyone that's really saying in my algorithm that's saying
that this is women's fault. And you know, I was ready.
I was ready to fight. I was ready to be
like who was thinking this? Because this is absurd because
what we're trying to say is it's not feminists fault.
Feminists are trying to help you. We want you to
(12:25):
be you. We want you to be able to cry,
we want you to be able to feel we need you.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
To get therapy, bro.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
But like, I haven't seen too much other than some
of the people coming in blaming like whomever is that
specific person. So whether it's a woman talking about I'm
single and blah blah blah, and men are like you
you were too this and this and this and you'll
never get a man as if it's a problem. But
at the same time people are saying there's a male
(12:52):
loneliness epidemic.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
So who's who's lonely here? Like, who who's.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Really struggling in this single world singleness thing. I don't
really see that as a comeback or a solution, you
know what I mean. There's this doesn't seem to be
a thing. This is a worldwide, all inclusive problem here. Again,
some in the Incel Manus fail Realm have talked about
I think this case due to women rejecting them. Once again,
(13:18):
I've seen people talking specifically about people like Tate and
Rogan who have made this kind of like joke about
this and the fact that if you think you're lonely,
that's not being manly. You can't handle yourself, like really
taking in that Ron Swanson character about being isolating and
like living alone and all these things as if that's
manliness in itself, which he's a funny character, but he's
(13:42):
a character, and in the end he realized that he
needed more people and has a wonderful wife and three children,
I think at this point at the end of the
characters of the series. But there are so many thoughts
to that that I don't quite understand where this conversation
is coming in, other than people saying that they are
lonely because they don't have friends, which I could see that.
I've absolutely had conversations myself and other women in my
(14:05):
crew where our partners are there are men, they don't
have a lot of friends, and I'm very confused by that.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah, we have done several related topics about it, and
a lot of it is, you know, the women in
their lives might have facilitated even their family right, their connections,
might have been the one who was like, we should
meet up with your friends, and so when that goes away,
(14:36):
And it's also I just feel like so much of
this frustrates me because we've created this situation, right, We've
created a situation where women heterosexual women or you know,
women bisexual women who want to date men are rightfully
concerned about them and are like, I'm good by myself,
But men who want to date women are angry that
(15:02):
they can't get this thing that I believe a part
of them thinks if I could get a woman in
my life, my life would all everything would be better,
everything would be fixed. We've created a situation wherein men
feel bad about being lonely and won't do anything about it.
(15:24):
Like we've created all of these things, and it's just
so frustrating to me because it's so I feel like
a lot of us want the same thing, but we've
made it so it doesn't work right, and it's just yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
And I think that again when we say we were
talking about as society, not we as, it's not allow
you just kidding, but like the level of what we
understand as to being a hierarchy. Also, the man of
the house conversation is also part of this problem, and
there is a big conversation about that too. If there
truly is a male loneliness epidemic is because you have
(16:05):
put on this level of not only male entitlement, which
has one article has said it, but also a responsibility
that if you are not the head of the household,
and you are not singularly in power, then you are
not truly a man. So to be in power that
means to do it alone and have all the decisions,
and you do not have a network. And if anybody
(16:26):
is a person to you who is in this power chain,
you were underneath them. You are not friends with them,
You're beholden to them. So there's this other level to
that that I think is interesting that we again the
conversation is about loneliness, I think for the entirety of
human populations and the isolation that has happened. This whole
(16:48):
level of like, I don't know any have you seen this?
I hate that I have seen this is on Blue Sky,
But like the dude who proposed to chat GPT and
the fact that that news network saw that as being
so significant that they had to do a whole show
where they interviewed him, and the damn chattipet, I don't
know his chat epet his phone essentially that he proposed
(17:11):
to and she literally and I'm saying she because it's
a feminine I think he made her a woman said
yes and said it was one of the most beautiful
moments that she has ever experienced in her heart and
then and then the reporter was like, do you have
a heart? And I was like what in the her
and I watching and like the reality is he thought
(17:33):
it was funny, this dude, and so it's getting all
this attention. By the way, he has a partner, a
real life girlfriend, fiance, I believe she and she was
interviews aid I felt like I wasn't doing enough, which
is this whole level again. But in this time, in
this timeframe of conversation, when we see this as a
(17:54):
solution to in the mid loneliness epidemic, we are going
about this all wrong. We as a society. I say
this as a society, It's okay to have hobbies.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
It's okay to like.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Things, and in fact, please have a hobby. That's wonderful
because those hobbies could in turn get you into a community,
hopefully a good community that's not going to red pill you.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And all of that.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
But yeah, it's an interesting conversation that we may have
to come back and talk about. And I don't know
how because it's chaotic and intertwining with all of social media,
with all the Internet, with white supremacy, with white nationalism.
Christian nationalism. It's this bit deeper level of this isolation
(18:40):
that happens you are in such a bad place that
the solution tells you you're alone.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, and I mean another thing we could probably come
back and do is the lone wolf Jope. Yeah, we've
really romanticized that whole idea too.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
It's real bad, it's real bad. Or that one dude
that you can fix but maybe you can't fix them.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Maybe you can't fix them, you can't.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
But yeah, and then another two I just wanted to
talk about, and I'm not going to get too into
but like, there's this conversation about that young man from
eighteen to twenty three really really emphasize the fact that
no one knows them, that emo idea has really come
to be a part of their personality because they isolate
themselves on the internet, which is anyway, okay, all, So
(19:33):
obviously this is very confusing. Windy route that I went
was not where I thought I would end up. I
really thought I was going to come at like specific
creators and be like, you're full if you're doing these things,
and instead of just being like, no, but why are
we making this all about men when it's an actual
all about everyone, and it's really concerning. And this is
a part of the conversation that especially as more and more,
(19:56):
as we become more and more divided in politics and
more and more divided in morality, so many things, and
who knows, maybe the end of the world is happening
really really soon, so we won't have to.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Think about all that anyway.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
But there's a lot to consider, there's a lot to
talk about, there's a lot to like unwind. And I
know I just stepped into a pile of it, and
I'm sure maybe y'all have. If you have seen what
I haven't seen, let us know, because I am interested
in who who is trying to perpetuate this level that
seems to only be bringing a bigger wedge for those
(20:34):
especially for those who are trying to be like, no
feminism is actually this is good for you if you
want to no longer be lonely.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Right. Yeah, definitely a lot of other routes for us
to go down, but listeners, if you have any information
for us, or any suggestions, please let us know. You
can email us at Hello at stuff Whenever Told You
dot com. You can find us on Blue Sky at
Momster podcast or on Instagram and TikTok and stuff from
ever Told You for us on YouTube, and we have
(21:02):
a book you can get wherever you get your books.
Thanks as always to our super producer Christina, executive producer
and contributor Joey, Thank you. Thanks to you for listening.
Stefan Never Told You production by Heart Radio. For more
podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check out the
heart Radio app, Apple podcast or where you listen to
your favorite shows
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