July 19, 2025 • 19 mins
For a long time, car troubles has been both a pickup line used by men, and a way to gatekeep women. Is that still the case? We discuss in this classic episode.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Sandy and Samantha. Oh your stuff. Never
told you protection of my heart?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Right you?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Okay, So.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
This episode, I tell you has come back in a
way I wasn't anticipating when I was talking about car
troubles and I was just pontificating if this is still
a thing where it's used as a pickup line. Because
of travel and health issues, my car has sat unmoved for.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
A while, to the point that even I am like, wow,
you really have not moved that car.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
And it's becoming such a stressor because I have all
these rules about when I want to go and like
move my car and drive it, and I've made it
into a much bigger deal than it needs to be.
And that's the last thing I need with my health.
(01:16):
So the car is just out there and it's become
like my enemy. But I really need to if I
got in it, like right now, I think what would
happen if I tried to start it.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It wouldn't start.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
I would like it to be able to start if
I need it. Yeah, so I need to test it
and I just let it go so long.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Do you need emotional support?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I think if I had somebody sit in the car
with me. It would help because part of the issue
is one of the things that made me think of
this is Samantha No's. But I have a neighbor that
kind of like lingers outside, and I don't want to
deal with what would happen if the car did start
and he was outside. Yeah, so I go, we'll like,
I go it like six am I have. But I've
(02:07):
been sleeping much better lately, actually, so I don't want
to get rid of Yeah, I finally made that step right,
So I don't want to set up an alarm to
go start my car and be stressed if the whole
day I'll be worried about it. So I just have
all these rules around this car and it's gotten out
of control. But it actually looks good. I'm surprised at
(02:29):
how nice it stills.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, but maybe I'll get you or another friend just
come sit in the car with it while I started,
or try to start it. And I have one of
those things where you can jump start at yourself. Ye,
I've never done it, so I'm a little nervous I've.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Done it, so I'll come and help you.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Okay, Okay, yeah, I got you. All right, we'll figure
this out. We'll get We'll get the old galagy. We
got you. Thanks in the meantime, listeners, please enjoy this
classic episode.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Welcome to Stuff One Never told you production to buy
Heart Radio, and today we are doing another happy hour. Welcome, Welcome.
As always, if you are joining us, do whatever you're
(03:32):
dream responsibly drinking or otherwise.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
What are you sitting on?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Samantha, my diet soda keep it in on drink water earlier,
so I'm like, okay, I feel like I did a
good job on the water. So I'm a drinker diet
soda today.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah, I had different episode. But I've been having strange
dreams lately. I told you about one of them earlier.
I also had one that was just I couldn't stop
drinking water. The whole dream was about water. Stopped drinking water.
It was very Bazarrey. I am drinking a summer shandy
a friend left up my apartment.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Nice. I'm trying to guess, so hope, I hope it's good.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, they're usually pretty good. I used to drink those
way back when.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Uh, so this episode might be coming at you a
little late because we've had a couple of onlin own
technical issues, which is kind of indicative of what I
wanted to talk about. I said recently, I feel like
my life is in disarray. I feel like I have
a lot of things that I've let build up that
just all around me that I have not fixed for
(04:40):
one reason or the other. A big one is my car.
So Anthon knows about this, and my car has been
dead for two weeks now. It does not start. I
had someone come out to look at it. It seems
like it's just a battery issue. But I kind of
wanted to talk about it because I was thinking about
kind of the whole car troubles.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Joke, which for a long time has been like.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
A joke about men hitting on women when their car
is broken down, and I just got to thinking about
that and all of the implications they're in. So I know
I've told this story before, but when I was in
high school, there was an automotive class. Women were not
allowed in it unless there was a space after all
(05:30):
of the men had off first.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, because I really wanted to do the choices were
and I'm not joking. The choices were automotive are dance.
I wanted to do automotive. No, it's comical and infuriating.
I wanted to do automotive because I thought it would
be useful. I love dancing, but I thought like this
(05:57):
would be good to know. They would not let me,
and they did let in one of the women from
my class, but I hate to say, it felt like
she was really sexualized in that class.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Oh she could talk about it. So it was like
a thing where I wanted to learn and I didn't
get the chance at that time.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
And then you know, I just never had really an
opportunity or real strong desire to learn after that, Like
that would have been a nice Is that a school
I had to attend, right it was there? I never
did after that. I never did get the technology the
expertise that I wanted. And I will say, I want
(06:46):
to say I have always been scared around cars. There
are some reasons for that I've talked about before, but
also I'm just afraid of like expensive things. The car
is expensive. It makes nervous And this is going to
sound like way worse than it actually was. But my
dad used to ask me to pump gas. So if
(07:12):
I needed gas, I'd call him and he would come
and he would pump the gas. And so just made
me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm
going to mess up this very expensive piece of equipment.
So I just have like really deep seated I don't
know how to handle a car. I don't know what
to do about it. And that being said, I want
(07:33):
to shout out my friend Marissa who once this was
before it was like ruined and everything, but it was
like the final Harry Potter movie was coming out. My
car wouldn't start, and she was like, no, we have
to get there on time, and she got that car starter.
She like knew what to do, she did everything. So
in this I'm mostly talking about experiences I've had where
(07:55):
it feels like a lot of this car stuff is
still be pretty gate kept by men.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
But I have.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Plenty of examples of women in my life that do
know what they're doing are good at it, So I
just want to make that clear. Also on the other
side of that, I my ex, who was a dude.
Once sheepishly admitted to me that he knew nothing about
cars when my car broke down, So it's also like
(08:24):
I think in a lot of ways, a lot of
us don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, true story.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I feel like I learned a lot about car stuff
because of so many things i'll let go wrong.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Oh I know.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
What this sound is, So I learned from my bad.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Do you feel like you could like do some basic.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Like no, Like the basic is like I know how
to change it higher, but it's really hard, especially with
like the changing of the bolts. But I've made sure
that I did learn. But I'm like it's gonna take
me forever, like forever ever if I really do have
to try this. But I remembered how to do it. One,
I don't know how to change the oil filter, but
(09:03):
I feel like that's an easy youtubem. But I know
what a sound of something is, Like, I'm like that
sound like a whale bearing. I think I need to
go do this. That sounds like the alignment is off,
Like I needed to go do this like stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, well, I mean my most recent problem when the
guy showed up because I did call a repair service
because again it won't start, so I can't get it anywhere.
I was like, I think it's batter because I recognize
this clicking. I have heard this before, and I have
The sad thing is I used to be pretty good
(09:37):
at like very basic, very basic, admittedly, but i used
to be pretty good at that stuff, and now I've
just become so afraid I'll mess I'll mess something up,
and that's important because I never drive anymore right, but
also just don't feel confident in it. There are a
couple of other things too. So one is, as Samantha knows, I,
(10:00):
my car doesn't move from its spot very often, and
so it's sort of like people know my car. It's there,
and so I'm sort of I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed by it.
But also there's like a guy that comes out in
my building to smoke, but he comes out and he
just hangs out, and I don't want to be out
there trying to do my thing, and he's looking at
(10:23):
me like mmmm.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And then my landlord is like ever present, and I
don't want to get involved. But it's all these like
men in my life that I'm like, just not in
your life, yeah, but they're like.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
In my.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah. Also, like I would like to go ahead and
put an astrak here with the neighbor because I have
actually avoided going to your door myself, who typically I
will like, it doesn't bother me as much as it
bothers you. I don't want to hang out and be awkward.
I don't want to have a conversation with people. But
he literally stands in a way that is oh so imposing,
(11:01):
as well as smoking right on the steps, as well
as most of times being shirtless and a little over
like he just hangs out there and like all of
those things are like, yeah, he's not gonna move out
of my way, like, and he just purposely stands there
staring people down.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I have noticed that because when I would wait for you,
I'm like, hey, I'm down here, but your neighbor's there,
so might want to wait for a second. I'm gonna
wait for a second. And then he just sits there
and stairs mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
He does. It's like he's a.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Whole special conversation in itself.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
It's yeah, And it's unfortunate because it has Like one
of the things I hate that I'm really having trouble
letting go from the pandemic is that I don't feel
super comfortable leaving my place all the time. And part
of it is what if he's there, What if he's there?
And I've literally like gone back upstairs. I see him
out there, and to be, he's never done anything to me.
(11:55):
He's just like got a vibe that's not great. So
I don't want to be out trying to fix something
with my car that possibly I could fix if he's
going to be out there.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So I call in.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
The service that comes to you, and it was a
guy and he was super nice. But then afterwards everyone
was like, well, it sounds like he was flirting with you,
and now, oh no, because he knows.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I can't go anywhere. He knows that.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Two of my friends who when I was telling them,
they were like they were just asking and they were like,
it kind of sounds like do you think he was?
And I said, now, I don't think so, but I
don't have the best track record with that, and I
don't know. I honestly have no idea. Uh, he will
be here getting soon.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
So see. But then I started thinking about that because like.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
I feel like a lot of times that whole kind
of car trouble thing, that whole like women can't take
automotive class. We're going to get to that episode that
we've been talking about forever about the history of women
in driving. Does feel very like you can't go anywhere,
so I'll help you in this case, like very like
heteronormative man being like, I'll help you then, because it is,
(13:22):
it does feel very i'll swoop in and rescue you.
Whereas I think, I like, I used to be able
to fix a lot of these things, at least like
the smaller things, and it's frustrating to me that it's
gotten to a point where.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I just gotta do. I feel like I have to
deal with this because.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I'm avoiding other dudes, but also like I am scared
I'll do damage to my car.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I've talked about before.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I actually passed out when my parents bought a car
because I saw how much it was and I passed out.
Like I have a lot of anxiety around how much
things cost, and it does feel kind of like.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
It's out of my control.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
So this also I just don't It's sad because I
also just don't like driving. I don't want to, but
I have to. That's sort of the society we live in.
And I do want a working car, that's the oddest.
I do want one, but it's frustrating because I'm like,
but I want one. It feels like just for emergencies
(14:38):
and this, you know, we've talked before about like stereotypes
around women driving and men driving. That was definitely present
in my last relationship. But this I also feel is
changing because I've seen a lot of my friends doesn't
really feel like that's there anymore for them at all.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
But when I, like when my.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Ex and I were dating, he was always like, I
will drive, and he was not a driver or Samantha.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
He was actually pretty bad. I was a better driver
than him. I feel confident in saying.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Oh no, yeah, my partner and I share duties, make
sure because we split it. Because also I get carsick
really easily. So like the only times I don't really
get carsick is if A I'm asleep or B I'm driving,
so I can't sit a whole ride like that.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Yeah, And I feel like you and several of my friends,
that's what I've seen is it feels like pretty equal
in terms of how they're driving. So I'm glad to
see that because I remember when the show first started,
there was an episode about like why do men do
most of the driving?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I mean, that's still definitely a stereotype on TikTok. A
passenger princess, yes, all over my for you page on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
It is definitely still a thing, and I would love
to hear from listeners about it because I always hesitate
talking about some of these older like stereotypes in terms
of you know, how many times do we have to
bring this back? But the thing is they do keep
coming back. But I would like to hear from people's
other experiences. There is something else that has been happening
(16:08):
in recent years where there's been a couple of examples
of women owned are women based automotive repair shops. There
is there was one in Atlanta. I think it's changed.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
It has and they've made a big announcement to let
you know it is no longer owned by a woman
like it has been a thing because they still kept
the logo and kept the first part of them because
the title of it is literally like my mechanic as
a woman. And so when that when that stopped, they
didn't take away the name until they finally are like, hey,
a woman doesn't own this, just so you know, I'm
not the owner. So they had to do my mechanic
(16:43):
is and they left that.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yes, they just left it be, which was sad.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
But there have been a couple of examples of those
kinds of things, and it's one of those things where
I have I'm like two minds about. It's sort of
like the women only where I get it, but I
think we should address like a larger issue. But I
do totally get it. Like again, I've laid out several
examples of where men have made me uncomfortable around cars,
(17:14):
so I I do understand, but it's also sort of like,
if this is what we're doing, we might want to
ask why why that is? And you know, unfortunately, the
car repair business is just notorious. The car business in
(17:37):
general is notorious for lying to people or upselling people,
or not being upfront with people. I know it's not everybody,
but that when you go into a situation and you
feel like, oh, I don't know enough about this and
I feel like this person's probably trying to cheat me,
it's like not a great situation. And I think that's
compounded with women because I think the is still women
(18:00):
don't know what they're doing with cars. But clearly, for
a long time we've been prevented from knowing even if
the class you wanted to take in high school was automotive.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
And a story.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Yes, so those are my car troubles and car troubles. Yeah,
I just I was gonna I titled it that because
that's what like the joke always is, as the guy
comes up and he's like car troubles. But if anyone
has any thoughts about this, or if you have any
examples of these women based automotive repair shops your experience,
(18:40):
there are just yeah, generally, what's the trope the vibe
of gendered stereotypes around driving?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Right now? Please let us know.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
You can email us as Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia
dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom
Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff when
Never Told You on YouTube, and we have a teap
of bookstore and we have a book you can get
wherever you get your books. Thanks as always to our
super producer Christina or executive producer Maya and our contributor Joey.
Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Steffan Never Told You is production by Heart Radio.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
For more podcast from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the heart radio app, Apple podcast, or if you
listen to your favorite show
Hey, this is Sandy and Samantha. Oh your stuff. Never
told you protection of my heart?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Right you?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Okay, So.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
This episode, I tell you has come back in a
way I wasn't anticipating when I was talking about car
troubles and I was just pontificating if this is still
a thing where it's used as a pickup line. Because
of travel and health issues, my car has sat unmoved for.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
A while, to the point that even I am like, wow,
you really have not moved that car.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
And it's becoming such a stressor because I have all
these rules about when I want to go and like
move my car and drive it, and I've made it
into a much bigger deal than it needs to be.
And that's the last thing I need with my health.
(01:16):
So the car is just out there and it's become
like my enemy. But I really need to if I
got in it, like right now, I think what would
happen if I tried to start it.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It wouldn't start.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
I would like it to be able to start if
I need it. Yeah, so I need to test it
and I just let it go so long.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Do you need emotional support?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I think if I had somebody sit in the car
with me. It would help because part of the issue
is one of the things that made me think of
this is Samantha No's. But I have a neighbor that
kind of like lingers outside, and I don't want to
deal with what would happen if the car did start
and he was outside. Yeah, so I go, we'll like,
I go it like six am I have. But I've
(02:07):
been sleeping much better lately, actually, so I don't want
to get rid of Yeah, I finally made that step right,
So I don't want to set up an alarm to
go start my car and be stressed if the whole
day I'll be worried about it. So I just have
all these rules around this car and it's gotten out
of control. But it actually looks good. I'm surprised at
(02:29):
how nice it stills.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, but maybe I'll get you or another friend just
come sit in the car with it while I started,
or try to start it. And I have one of
those things where you can jump start at yourself. Ye,
I've never done it, so I'm a little nervous I've.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Done it, so I'll come and help you.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Okay, Okay, yeah, I got you. All right, we'll figure
this out. We'll get We'll get the old galagy. We
got you. Thanks in the meantime, listeners, please enjoy this
classic episode.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Welcome to Stuff One Never told you production to buy
Heart Radio, and today we are doing another happy hour. Welcome, Welcome.
As always, if you are joining us, do whatever you're
(03:32):
dream responsibly drinking or otherwise.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
What are you sitting on?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Samantha, my diet soda keep it in on drink water earlier,
so I'm like, okay, I feel like I did a
good job on the water. So I'm a drinker diet
soda today.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah, I had different episode. But I've been having strange
dreams lately. I told you about one of them earlier.
I also had one that was just I couldn't stop
drinking water. The whole dream was about water. Stopped drinking water.
It was very Bazarrey. I am drinking a summer shandy
a friend left up my apartment.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Nice. I'm trying to guess, so hope, I hope it's good.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, they're usually pretty good. I used to drink those
way back when.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Uh, so this episode might be coming at you a
little late because we've had a couple of onlin own
technical issues, which is kind of indicative of what I
wanted to talk about. I said recently, I feel like
my life is in disarray. I feel like I have
a lot of things that I've let build up that
just all around me that I have not fixed for
(04:40):
one reason or the other. A big one is my car.
So Anthon knows about this, and my car has been
dead for two weeks now. It does not start. I
had someone come out to look at it. It seems
like it's just a battery issue. But I kind of
wanted to talk about it because I was thinking about
kind of the whole car troubles.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Joke, which for a long time has been like.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
A joke about men hitting on women when their car
is broken down, and I just got to thinking about
that and all of the implications they're in. So I know
I've told this story before, but when I was in
high school, there was an automotive class. Women were not
allowed in it unless there was a space after all
(05:30):
of the men had off first.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, because I really wanted to do the choices were
and I'm not joking. The choices were automotive are dance.
I wanted to do automotive. No, it's comical and infuriating.
I wanted to do automotive because I thought it would
be useful. I love dancing, but I thought like this
(05:57):
would be good to know. They would not let me,
and they did let in one of the women from
my class, but I hate to say, it felt like
she was really sexualized in that class.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Oh she could talk about it. So it was like
a thing where I wanted to learn and I didn't
get the chance at that time.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
And then you know, I just never had really an
opportunity or real strong desire to learn after that, Like
that would have been a nice Is that a school
I had to attend, right it was there? I never
did after that. I never did get the technology the
expertise that I wanted. And I will say, I want
(06:46):
to say I have always been scared around cars. There
are some reasons for that I've talked about before, but
also I'm just afraid of like expensive things. The car
is expensive. It makes nervous And this is going to
sound like way worse than it actually was. But my
dad used to ask me to pump gas. So if
(07:12):
I needed gas, I'd call him and he would come
and he would pump the gas. And so just made
me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm
going to mess up this very expensive piece of equipment.
So I just have like really deep seated I don't
know how to handle a car. I don't know what
to do about it. And that being said, I want
(07:33):
to shout out my friend Marissa who once this was
before it was like ruined and everything, but it was
like the final Harry Potter movie was coming out. My
car wouldn't start, and she was like, no, we have
to get there on time, and she got that car starter.
She like knew what to do, she did everything. So
in this I'm mostly talking about experiences I've had where
(07:55):
it feels like a lot of this car stuff is
still be pretty gate kept by men.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
But I have.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Plenty of examples of women in my life that do
know what they're doing are good at it, So I
just want to make that clear. Also on the other
side of that, I my ex, who was a dude.
Once sheepishly admitted to me that he knew nothing about
cars when my car broke down, So it's also like
(08:24):
I think in a lot of ways, a lot of
us don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, true story.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I feel like I learned a lot about car stuff
because of so many things i'll let go wrong.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Oh I know.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
What this sound is, So I learned from my bad.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Do you feel like you could like do some basic.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Like no, Like the basic is like I know how
to change it higher, but it's really hard, especially with
like the changing of the bolts. But I've made sure
that I did learn. But I'm like it's gonna take
me forever, like forever ever if I really do have
to try this. But I remembered how to do it. One,
I don't know how to change the oil filter, but
(09:03):
I feel like that's an easy youtubem. But I know
what a sound of something is, Like, I'm like that
sound like a whale bearing. I think I need to
go do this. That sounds like the alignment is off,
Like I needed to go do this like stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, well, I mean my most recent problem when the
guy showed up because I did call a repair service
because again it won't start, so I can't get it anywhere.
I was like, I think it's batter because I recognize
this clicking. I have heard this before, and I have
The sad thing is I used to be pretty good
(09:37):
at like very basic, very basic, admittedly, but i used
to be pretty good at that stuff, and now I've
just become so afraid I'll mess I'll mess something up,
and that's important because I never drive anymore right, but
also just don't feel confident in it. There are a
couple of other things too. So one is, as Samantha knows, I,
(10:00):
my car doesn't move from its spot very often, and
so it's sort of like people know my car. It's there,
and so I'm sort of I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed by it.
But also there's like a guy that comes out in
my building to smoke, but he comes out and he
just hangs out, and I don't want to be out
there trying to do my thing, and he's looking at
(10:23):
me like mmmm.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And then my landlord is like ever present, and I
don't want to get involved. But it's all these like
men in my life that I'm like, just not in
your life, yeah, but they're like.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
In my.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah. Also, like I would like to go ahead and
put an astrak here with the neighbor because I have
actually avoided going to your door myself, who typically I
will like, it doesn't bother me as much as it
bothers you. I don't want to hang out and be awkward.
I don't want to have a conversation with people. But
he literally stands in a way that is oh so imposing,
(11:01):
as well as smoking right on the steps, as well
as most of times being shirtless and a little over
like he just hangs out there and like all of
those things are like, yeah, he's not gonna move out
of my way, like, and he just purposely stands there
staring people down.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I have noticed that because when I would wait for you,
I'm like, hey, I'm down here, but your neighbor's there,
so might want to wait for a second. I'm gonna
wait for a second. And then he just sits there
and stairs mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
He does. It's like he's a.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Whole special conversation in itself.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
It's yeah, And it's unfortunate because it has Like one
of the things I hate that I'm really having trouble
letting go from the pandemic is that I don't feel
super comfortable leaving my place all the time. And part
of it is what if he's there, What if he's there?
And I've literally like gone back upstairs. I see him
out there, and to be, he's never done anything to me.
(11:55):
He's just like got a vibe that's not great. So
I don't want to be out trying to fix something
with my car that possibly I could fix if he's
going to be out there.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So I call in.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
The service that comes to you, and it was a
guy and he was super nice. But then afterwards everyone
was like, well, it sounds like he was flirting with you,
and now, oh no, because he knows.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I can't go anywhere. He knows that.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Two of my friends who when I was telling them,
they were like they were just asking and they were like,
it kind of sounds like do you think he was?
And I said, now, I don't think so, but I
don't have the best track record with that, and I
don't know. I honestly have no idea. Uh, he will
be here getting soon.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
So see. But then I started thinking about that because like.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
I feel like a lot of times that whole kind
of car trouble thing, that whole like women can't take
automotive class. We're going to get to that episode that
we've been talking about forever about the history of women
in driving. Does feel very like you can't go anywhere,
so I'll help you in this case, like very like
heteronormative man being like, I'll help you then, because it is,
(13:22):
it does feel very i'll swoop in and rescue you.
Whereas I think, I like, I used to be able
to fix a lot of these things, at least like
the smaller things, and it's frustrating to me that it's
gotten to a point where.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I just gotta do. I feel like I have to
deal with this because.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I'm avoiding other dudes, but also like I am scared
I'll do damage to my car.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I've talked about before.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I actually passed out when my parents bought a car
because I saw how much it was and I passed out.
Like I have a lot of anxiety around how much
things cost, and it does feel kind of like.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
It's out of my control.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
So this also I just don't It's sad because I
also just don't like driving. I don't want to, but
I have to. That's sort of the society we live in.
And I do want a working car, that's the oddest.
I do want one, but it's frustrating because I'm like,
but I want one. It feels like just for emergencies
(14:38):
and this, you know, we've talked before about like stereotypes
around women driving and men driving. That was definitely present
in my last relationship. But this I also feel is
changing because I've seen a lot of my friends doesn't
really feel like that's there anymore for them at all.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
But when I, like when my.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Ex and I were dating, he was always like, I
will drive, and he was not a driver or Samantha.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
He was actually pretty bad. I was a better driver
than him. I feel confident in saying.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Oh no, yeah, my partner and I share duties, make
sure because we split it. Because also I get carsick
really easily. So like the only times I don't really
get carsick is if A I'm asleep or B I'm driving,
so I can't sit a whole ride like that.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Yeah, And I feel like you and several of my friends,
that's what I've seen is it feels like pretty equal
in terms of how they're driving. So I'm glad to
see that because I remember when the show first started,
there was an episode about like why do men do
most of the driving?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I mean, that's still definitely a stereotype on TikTok. A
passenger princess, yes, all over my for you page on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
It is definitely still a thing, and I would love
to hear from listeners about it because I always hesitate
talking about some of these older like stereotypes in terms
of you know, how many times do we have to
bring this back? But the thing is they do keep
coming back. But I would like to hear from people's
other experiences. There is something else that has been happening
(16:08):
in recent years where there's been a couple of examples
of women owned are women based automotive repair shops. There
is there was one in Atlanta. I think it's changed.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
It has and they've made a big announcement to let
you know it is no longer owned by a woman
like it has been a thing because they still kept
the logo and kept the first part of them because
the title of it is literally like my mechanic as
a woman. And so when that when that stopped, they
didn't take away the name until they finally are like, hey,
a woman doesn't own this, just so you know, I'm
not the owner. So they had to do my mechanic
(16:43):
is and they left that.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yes, they just left it be, which was sad.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
But there have been a couple of examples of those
kinds of things, and it's one of those things where
I have I'm like two minds about. It's sort of
like the women only where I get it, but I
think we should address like a larger issue. But I
do totally get it. Like again, I've laid out several
examples of where men have made me uncomfortable around cars,
(17:14):
so I I do understand, but it's also sort of like,
if this is what we're doing, we might want to
ask why why that is? And you know, unfortunately, the
car repair business is just notorious. The car business in
(17:37):
general is notorious for lying to people or upselling people,
or not being upfront with people. I know it's not everybody,
but that when you go into a situation and you
feel like, oh, I don't know enough about this and
I feel like this person's probably trying to cheat me,
it's like not a great situation. And I think that's
compounded with women because I think the is still women
(18:00):
don't know what they're doing with cars. But clearly, for
a long time we've been prevented from knowing even if
the class you wanted to take in high school was automotive.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
And a story.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Yes, so those are my car troubles and car troubles. Yeah,
I just I was gonna I titled it that because
that's what like the joke always is, as the guy
comes up and he's like car troubles. But if anyone
has any thoughts about this, or if you have any
examples of these women based automotive repair shops your experience,
(18:40):
there are just yeah, generally, what's the trope the vibe
of gendered stereotypes around driving?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Right now? Please let us know.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
You can email us as Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia
dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom
Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff when
Never Told You on YouTube, and we have a teap
of bookstore and we have a book you can get
wherever you get your books. Thanks as always to our
super producer Christina or executive producer Maya and our contributor Joey.
Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Steffan Never Told You is production by Heart Radio.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
For more podcast from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the heart radio app, Apple podcast, or if you
listen to your favorite show
Stuff Mom Never Told You News
Hosts And Creators
Anney Reese
Samantha McVey
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