February 27, 2026 • 23 mins
Still recovering from recording an audiobook, Anney and Samantha share their experiences. Anney discusses the emotions of coming out to strangers in this classic episode.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Anny and Smantha and alcome stuff and
I ever told you a Protection of iHeart Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And for today we are bringing.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Back a classic that we did after we did our
audio book, which is still an experience I'm processing in
some ways, but in this specific episode, I was talking
about the experience of coming out as gay to people
(00:41):
you've never met and what that's like.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Am I continuing series on queerbating.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
And what it's like, So please enjoy this classic episode.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Wman never told you Protection of iHeart Radio, and welcome
to another edition of Half Hour. As always, drink responsibly, listen, responsibly,
do everything responsibly if you choose to do any of
(01:28):
those things. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what are you
sitting on, Samantha.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I am drinking bubbly water once again this time we
so my partner works events and sometimes from those events
he gets like extras that are left behind by talent,
and they left behind watermelon flavor bubbly pretty good?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Oh nice? Yes, yeah, that.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Might be a new flavor I'll have to venture out.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
To, especially if you're pineapple going away still very sad?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, I know, I'm sad for you, what about you?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I am sitting on a light beer that shall remain nameless.
But it is interesting because in this happy hour, I
kind of wanted to talk about our recent experience recording
the audiobook, but also kind of some like queer updates
with me because it's a Pride Month happy hour, but like, I.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Don't normally have beer on hand.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Mostly because I walked to the store and it's heavy
to carry, so I don't normally have it. But we
had such a busy, stressful week recording this audio book
that a good friend of mine, Katie, who's been on
the show, dropped off my favorite light beer outside of
(02:56):
my door because I was like, I'm too tired to
do I've done. It was very kind, so I'm enjoying that.
But it's also funny that you mentioned kind of the
bubbly water because a past sponsor, not current sponsor, I
don't believe hints, sent us a ridiculous amount of product
(03:17):
to be frank.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Very generous.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Yeah, okay, sorry, yes, But Samantha and I, as we've
talked about, we were so nervous about recording this audiobook
and we were so lucky and I'm going to talk
about it more in a second.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I'm sure Samantha you have thoughts about it too.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
But we were so lucky with the team we had,
who were both women, were very kind and held our hands.
We were clearly panicking, yes, but Alicia. So the team
was Alicia and Mala. Alicia who was sort of like
the voice in our ear making sure we everything her
acts that we were hitting, like the emotional notes are
(04:04):
just being clear. She sent out this advice beforehand, and
it was like, where's stuff that doesn't rustle?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And eat a green apple?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Green apple is a good snack and hydrate, including the
day before. So Samantha and I took it very seriously.
So the weekend before, I was like, I'm staying in
and I'm drinking water, and that's right. But then I
showed up each day and you made fun of me,
and everyone made fun of me because I came in
with this bag of hit water.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Okay, it wasn't because you came in with a bag.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
And we're talking. There were four to five bottles. There
was more than water, Okay, five, and then there was
like four maybe it was like three to four head
waters which you had, and then three personal bottles of
water which you had. And we were only there for
literally five hours or five and a half hours, with
an hour break between for lunch. And also they have
(05:02):
a fully equipped kitchen.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I went through them all though.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
I know you did. It was quite funny. I'm like,
you know they have water and items here, right.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
It was.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
It was pretty hilarious because I came in and they're
just this huge bag and can hear all this like
water sloshing about it, and you're struggling at the door
to keep it open, like it even open.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
To be fair, the door was complicated because I had
it locked and you had to be like completely in
the perfect position for unlocked, but still you was like,
what is wrong with her? As you're leaning sideways.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I took the instructions very seriously and never said.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
To bring your own water or you might die, like.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
It said hydrate and who knows, I was just being fired.
But I went through a lot of water and it
was kind of comical because you could there was like
a trail of.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
If you looked in the trash.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Candy'd be like, oh, Annie's been here, because there's a
tree of these bottles.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Again, currently not a sponsor I don't think they said
us a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Still, you know, I still have some too, because that's
following two days. I did bring one bottle per day
because the part of that advice was no, I don't
think it was her advice. I was looking up advice
about vocal stuff and it said don't drink cold water,
don't drink ice water. And all of my water happened
to being the refrigerator and very cold, and then I
had remnants of the heat water and I wouldn't that
(06:38):
was at room temperature, so I wouldn't grab them. So
I had it there too, and I did drink them
while I was there. We also provided tea, which you
had an incident with the tea, because yes, you have
found that you are actually allergic to all tea's.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Uh, something that is going on.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I don't know if it's an allergy, but something definitely
happens to me after I drink tea.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
It's not time at the most inopportunity moment.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yes, yes, but.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I did want to talk about our experience with that
briefly just because and I think we'll come back and
do a more in depth thing. But we were so
nervous about it, and I'm still feeling the both exhaustion,
but also it was a very different experience from podcasting.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
It really was.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
It doesn't seem like it would be maybe at first glance,
but like having someone in your ear kind of correcting
you and directing you, having kind of this like really
piece by piece, like where's this going to fit? How
is this going to sound? All of that happening. So
I'm kind of discombobulated, to be honest, to just have
(07:47):
this conversation with you.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Right, you had to actually do a recording by yourself
last week, which many listeners may have already heard. Because
I was like, oh, yeah, I'll be fine, let's we'll
do it after this and.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
I came in.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I was like I can't do it. I can't do it.
I'm sorry, and You're like, oh god, I've got it.
And I felt bad because you'd already had your two
days of really stress and this was the first day
that you'd had to rest and I was like the
first my first day, and I was like, m nope, nope,
can't do it.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Bye.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
But yeah, it was such an odd experience, and so
we hadn't recorded together since we did the audio recording
so doing our first episode, it felt off. I was like, oh,
oh no, it just felt so disconnected and it felt
like I had we had recorded an episode like years ago,
when in actuality it was last what Monday or something.
(08:47):
I was just like, wow, Wow, this is I am
really turned around right now?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, and it so we did one day together and
then two days each separately, but it was it was
it's hard to adjust to that, and I feel like
the first day I did it by myself was pretty rough,
and the second day I kind of got my groove
and then now I'm having to like readjust me.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
To this, which is odd.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
But it was yeah, like you said, like five hour days,
And I did think it was cute because they were
both at The people we worked with were like, oh
you're friends, been friends.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Yeah, Yes, I went and grabbed her for lunch. I mean,
and you were recording because I live very close to
the studio. Also have a car that I drive and
don't mind driving, but yes, I live very close to there,
and so I would grab you for lunch. Also because
you were your chapters peak behind a little preview of
(09:43):
the books. I feel like we're definitely a lot more
personal than mine. There was a few that I did
put personal bits, but it wasn't like I wasn't relaying
really vulnerable experiences.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
But yeah, so I was like, yeah, I'll definitely come
in and hang with you and I just watch you
not eat.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I would eat just like just a portions are so huge.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Well, also you don't eat a lot of lunch.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
You're also stressed out and you're trying to like kind
of gain your composure back for the next read.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
So that was completely understandable. But yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
It was funny because they were like, any gonna come
get you, and I was like, actually, I'm just going home.
I'm gonna go see my dog.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I love that, you said. Though, yeah, yeah, I know
it was. It was nice.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
But one of the reasons, I just really want to
hammer that home. I've never had this experience before personally,
or if I I have, but on a really light scale.
But I know previous host Bridgett and Emily would rent
a studio to record together, and they'd rent it like
(10:51):
once a month and do these really arm recordings, and
I heard some horror stories about it about it being
a man and after they were done with their topics,
him having some opinions. Oh no about like, you know,
I don't think we need feminism. I think it's like
drawing too much attention to things and all of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
You know.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
So it could have gone that way, it could have
easily and it didn't, And I'm glad. I mean one
would hope and think that if people behind who knew
that this what this book was about, they would try
to not right, but.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
You never know, you never know, uh, I mean we
definitely when we started this process they didn't think that way.
Let's true. We had to like, we can't do that,
this is a feminist book doing you know, like literally
having to put in why a feminist book has to
remain feminist even behind the scene, and you know, so,
(11:52):
I mean yeah, we definitely encountered it from jump and
then had to do a lot of fixing it like no,
this is not going to work, and people be like,
oh okay, but at the same time also trying not
to give it to us.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
It was right, like it wasn't a big deal, and
we're like, right, kind of is it is just us?
Speaker 4 (12:10):
It is.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
All involved. It will be better you just justice on
this one.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, But a part of that was so as you
were saying, there are some pretty vulnerable moments in the book,
and I ended up crying pretty hard twice.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Twice.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I got some hugs, yes, I got some warm water
and tea. I got a lot of tea, kind words.
And I don't know how it would have gone if
I hadn't had women when I was being that open
about these things. But one of the things that surprised
me was I cried during my coming out chapter, or
(12:58):
I sort of just it was.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
It's it's not like I think I didn't think I.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Was gonna cry, because there's nothing in there that's very
you know, just on paper, sounds very heartbreaking or anything.
It's sad at some points, but it's not like, oh God,
what a horrible experience you've lived. But I never I
even though I've come out on this show to a
bunch of people I don't know, I'd never come out
(13:25):
to people I don't know in person or like while
they were there and could react, I guess, and I
started crying, and I especially like on the parts about
like feeling so lonely and feeling like something is wrong
with you, and I just I don't think I've ever
said it because it's those sections are written to be very.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Like journal kind of diary entry.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
And I know I've talked about it on here before,
but as we've said, we foolishly, at least I foolishly,
never thought we would be doing an audiobook.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
It didn't come into my head either, didn't until we
got that email saying, Hi, we're so excited to work
with you, and we're like, what, wait, what is this?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
What is this? This end?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I am very happy, like I want it to be accessible,
as accessible as it can be, but yeah, it never
ever occurred to me and you and I joked like
there are things I would have done differently had I
noted I would have to read it.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
It also is like the very because we went through
several editing processes. Obviously, when I would write something, our
amazing writer editor Jane, who we hoped to have on
the show, would come in and make it sound intelligible
because I would rant, as you know, and I'd just
keep going. Which was one of the critiques, not critiques,
but one of the comments and observations I got was
(14:45):
you write long sentences.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
I was like, yes, I do.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
I'm sorry, but the fact is, oh, I was like, oh,
I definitely didn't write that word. I don't even know
what that means. Someone pronounced this for me. That is
definitely not my phrase. I did not say it that way.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yes, so those.
Speaker 7 (15:03):
Moments are like oh oh right, yeah, and again like
I know you and I have read it several times,
but it's just saying something about and reading it.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Is it is also Yeah, just like I'm like, I'm
not an actor, right, Oh, I'm not a trained professional
in this, which, by the way, we do have an actor.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
I'm very excited for her to be a part of it.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I am too, but yeah, but like, like, how do
I make this sound interesting, right, instead of like me
just bumbling through?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah? And I think too, like we never thought we
have a book, and so it was strange to be
in a space where you could see like past people
they had, yes, and feel a little intimidated by very
Oh so you work with them?
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Ye?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yes, And I'm proud of what we did and I
don't want to make it sound like i'm not, but
I think we can all relate to that feeling of
I've never done this before and I'm sharing the same
space as this person who was really good and I
(16:15):
know is really good. So there was that going on
for sure. There was an element of very much for
me getting in my head where I would take their
advice so seriously and then I would get so caught
up about how I sounded. But it was like it
was a very intimate, for lack of a better word, environment,
(16:37):
and I'm just sharing this story that it's like me
coming out, and I just started crying, to my surprise,
and I thought, I feel since over the years, I
feel much more settled in my identity. I feel very
(16:58):
happy with it, which I do talk about in the
book as well. So it surprised me. But I think
I just hadn't realized how much I've internalized, like people
might reject you. Maybe it's not safe to do this
because at that point I didn't know. I knew they
were women, but I didn't know for sure. But they
(17:23):
were amazing and awesome, and one of them talked about
her coming out story and how important it is to
hear things like this, and we related about you know,
I didn't even know this was a thing, and I
wish I had known that it was a thing when
I was so much younger. So it was a really
(17:43):
great experience, Like I don't think I could have asked
for anything better than that, but it was kind of
eye opening for me about Okay, it still makes me nervous.
I'm still not totally comfortable, which makes sense. I didn't
know who they were, even as nice as they were. Yes,
(18:05):
I didn't know them. But it's also this is a
book in an audiobook, and now, for some reason, as
we've discussed, that feels much more permanent than when we
talk on the podcasts.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Right by the way, it's already being advertised on audible.
Oh really, yeah, I found it today, don't give me.
I was looking at something else and it was already
up and I was like, oh, reorder so you can
(18:41):
pre order the audio.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
And we haven't even finished it.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
We have it, and we have to go back and
do pickups.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
And I'm worried because I'm worried I'm gonna have to
do pickups for like the times I was crying.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yes, oh I did.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I definitely have to go back for like rename it.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Things like the hard to pronounce we do talk about
First Nations and indigenous people, and I was like, oh no,
I'm in trouble.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I wish we had their technology. They had a whole
technology that scans a document and tells you, oh, this
might be a word you want to look up.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Oh really, Yeah, they didn't know how to say it either.
I found it well. It was still difficult.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yes, it was.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Cool though, because they had a whole process for figuring
out how to pronounce things, including calling their friends in
different countries. It was very deat right, Yes, But on
top of that, I realized I had this beautiful conversation
about coming out, and it was so nice and like
this kind of connecting, you know, all of this stuff.
(19:49):
But then I also realized that I'm still really afraid,
and rightfully so, I think in some ways of getting
stuff wrong when it comes to LGBTQ plus, which is
something I kept tripping upon that I had to say
a million times, just terminology, and it's a part of
it is so much of it is in flux, and
(20:10):
so much of it is being discussed and is changing.
But I had a lot of anxiety about the Monday
many I did by myself, which was just a strict
history of the terminology. So I'm still struggling with that,
and I still, you know, I'm a cis white, straight
(20:31):
passing person, and so I think I felt it's always
good to keep things in context, but I think I
felt like when I was having this emotion that I
shouldn't be having it because I really haven't suffered that much.
And like I said, I think it's important to keep
(20:52):
things in context. But it was also like, I don't
think I ever grappled with just how lonely.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I felt, So.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
It was interesting. It was interesting, but I do hope
that it will help people, anyone who listens. I feel
like me didn't know that that terminology, didn't know that
was a thing, even though that's like what was going on.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I do hope it will help I'm sure somebody.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And then I've also been thinking about this too, And
this is just a quick I've only been thinking about
it and will wrap up. But I've been thinking about
a couple of you have written in asking for resources,
because you you'll be talking to people who don't know
about a lot of queer terminology. They don't know that
(21:49):
there's like a romantic spectrum on top of a sexual spectrum, and.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
That got me thinking, like I.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
About the how we say love is love, which I'm
all about, but it's also like, should be able to
have consensual sex with whoever you want to.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I'm all for lovers love, but also you know.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
But that being said, if anyone does have really great resources,
I usually go to the Trevor Project. That they don't,
at least as far as I saw, don't have a
great breakdown of the romantic versus sexual spectrum. They do
have a really great breakdown of a gender identity. But
if you have any resources, we would love to shout
(22:35):
them out, So please send those our way. Cheers, Samantha,
we did it.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
We're part way through it, most of the way through it.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Cheers. We're more than halfway there. Ers.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yes, If you would like to contact us, you can
our emails Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You
can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or
on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told You.
You can also find us on YouTube. We have a
tea public store. You have new stuff on there. You
should check it out. We do have a book that
you can pre order at stuff. You should read books
(23:12):
dot com. Apparently we also have an audible book you
can already pre orders, so check that out. It's gonna
be cool, it's gonna have like narration by an actor.
It's gonna be awesome. Yes, Thanks as always to our
super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.
Thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff I
never told you the protection of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts
(23:33):
on my heart Radio, you can check out the iHeart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or regular listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Anny and Smantha and alcome stuff and
I ever told you a Protection of iHeart Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And for today we are bringing.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Back a classic that we did after we did our
audio book, which is still an experience I'm processing in
some ways, but in this specific episode, I was talking
about the experience of coming out as gay to people
(00:41):
you've never met and what that's like.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Am I continuing series on queerbating.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
And what it's like, So please enjoy this classic episode.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Wman never told you Protection of iHeart Radio, and welcome
to another edition of Half Hour. As always, drink responsibly, listen, responsibly,
do everything responsibly if you choose to do any of
(01:28):
those things. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what are you
sitting on, Samantha.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I am drinking bubbly water once again this time we
so my partner works events and sometimes from those events
he gets like extras that are left behind by talent,
and they left behind watermelon flavor bubbly pretty good?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Oh nice? Yes, yeah, that.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Might be a new flavor I'll have to venture out.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
To, especially if you're pineapple going away still very sad?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, I know, I'm sad for you, what about you?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I am sitting on a light beer that shall remain nameless.
But it is interesting because in this happy hour, I
kind of wanted to talk about our recent experience recording
the audiobook, but also kind of some like queer updates
with me because it's a Pride Month happy hour, but like, I.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Don't normally have beer on hand.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Mostly because I walked to the store and it's heavy
to carry, so I don't normally have it. But we
had such a busy, stressful week recording this audio book
that a good friend of mine, Katie, who's been on
the show, dropped off my favorite light beer outside of
(02:56):
my door because I was like, I'm too tired to
do I've done. It was very kind, so I'm enjoying that.
But it's also funny that you mentioned kind of the
bubbly water because a past sponsor, not current sponsor, I
don't believe hints, sent us a ridiculous amount of product
(03:17):
to be frank.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Very generous.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Yeah, okay, sorry, yes, But Samantha and I, as we've
talked about, we were so nervous about recording this audiobook
and we were so lucky and I'm going to talk
about it more in a second.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I'm sure Samantha you have thoughts about it too.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
But we were so lucky with the team we had,
who were both women, were very kind and held our hands.
We were clearly panicking, yes, but Alicia. So the team
was Alicia and Mala. Alicia who was sort of like
the voice in our ear making sure we everything her
acts that we were hitting, like the emotional notes are
(04:04):
just being clear. She sent out this advice beforehand, and
it was like, where's stuff that doesn't rustle?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And eat a green apple?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Green apple is a good snack and hydrate, including the
day before. So Samantha and I took it very seriously.
So the weekend before, I was like, I'm staying in
and I'm drinking water, and that's right. But then I
showed up each day and you made fun of me,
and everyone made fun of me because I came in
with this bag of hit water.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Okay, it wasn't because you came in with a bag.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
And we're talking. There were four to five bottles. There
was more than water, Okay, five, and then there was
like four maybe it was like three to four head
waters which you had, and then three personal bottles of
water which you had. And we were only there for
literally five hours or five and a half hours, with
an hour break between for lunch. And also they have
(05:02):
a fully equipped kitchen.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I went through them all though.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
I know you did. It was quite funny. I'm like,
you know they have water and items here, right.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
It was.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
It was pretty hilarious because I came in and they're
just this huge bag and can hear all this like
water sloshing about it, and you're struggling at the door
to keep it open, like it even open.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
To be fair, the door was complicated because I had
it locked and you had to be like completely in
the perfect position for unlocked, but still you was like,
what is wrong with her? As you're leaning sideways.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I took the instructions very seriously and never said.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
To bring your own water or you might die, like.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
It said hydrate and who knows, I was just being fired.
But I went through a lot of water and it
was kind of comical because you could there was like
a trail of.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
If you looked in the trash.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Candy'd be like, oh, Annie's been here, because there's a
tree of these bottles.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Again, currently not a sponsor I don't think they said
us a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Still, you know, I still have some too, because that's
following two days. I did bring one bottle per day
because the part of that advice was no, I don't
think it was her advice. I was looking up advice
about vocal stuff and it said don't drink cold water,
don't drink ice water. And all of my water happened
to being the refrigerator and very cold, and then I
had remnants of the heat water and I wouldn't that
(06:38):
was at room temperature, so I wouldn't grab them. So
I had it there too, and I did drink them
while I was there. We also provided tea, which you
had an incident with the tea, because yes, you have
found that you are actually allergic to all tea's.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Uh, something that is going on.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I don't know if it's an allergy, but something definitely
happens to me after I drink tea.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
It's not time at the most inopportunity moment.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yes, yes, but.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I did want to talk about our experience with that
briefly just because and I think we'll come back and
do a more in depth thing. But we were so
nervous about it, and I'm still feeling the both exhaustion,
but also it was a very different experience from podcasting.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
It really was.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
It doesn't seem like it would be maybe at first glance,
but like having someone in your ear kind of correcting
you and directing you, having kind of this like really
piece by piece, like where's this going to fit? How
is this going to sound? All of that happening. So
I'm kind of discombobulated, to be honest, to just have
(07:47):
this conversation with you.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Right, you had to actually do a recording by yourself
last week, which many listeners may have already heard. Because
I was like, oh, yeah, I'll be fine, let's we'll
do it after this and.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
I came in.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I was like I can't do it. I can't do it.
I'm sorry, and You're like, oh god, I've got it.
And I felt bad because you'd already had your two
days of really stress and this was the first day
that you'd had to rest and I was like the
first my first day, and I was like, m nope, nope,
can't do it.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Bye.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
But yeah, it was such an odd experience, and so
we hadn't recorded together since we did the audio recording
so doing our first episode, it felt off. I was like, oh,
oh no, it just felt so disconnected and it felt
like I had we had recorded an episode like years ago,
when in actuality it was last what Monday or something.
(08:47):
I was just like, wow, Wow, this is I am
really turned around right now?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, and it so we did one day together and
then two days each separately, but it was it was
it's hard to adjust to that, and I feel like
the first day I did it by myself was pretty rough,
and the second day I kind of got my groove
and then now I'm having to like readjust me.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
To this, which is odd.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
But it was yeah, like you said, like five hour days,
And I did think it was cute because they were
both at The people we worked with were like, oh
you're friends, been friends.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Yeah, Yes, I went and grabbed her for lunch. I mean,
and you were recording because I live very close to
the studio. Also have a car that I drive and
don't mind driving, but yes, I live very close to there,
and so I would grab you for lunch. Also because
you were your chapters peak behind a little preview of
(09:43):
the books. I feel like we're definitely a lot more
personal than mine. There was a few that I did
put personal bits, but it wasn't like I wasn't relaying
really vulnerable experiences.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
But yeah, so I was like, yeah, I'll definitely come
in and hang with you and I just watch you
not eat.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I would eat just like just a portions are so huge.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Well, also you don't eat a lot of lunch.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
You're also stressed out and you're trying to like kind
of gain your composure back for the next read.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
So that was completely understandable. But yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
It was funny because they were like, any gonna come
get you, and I was like, actually, I'm just going home.
I'm gonna go see my dog.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I love that, you said. Though, yeah, yeah, I know
it was. It was nice.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
But one of the reasons, I just really want to
hammer that home. I've never had this experience before personally,
or if I I have, but on a really light scale.
But I know previous host Bridgett and Emily would rent
a studio to record together, and they'd rent it like
(10:51):
once a month and do these really arm recordings, and
I heard some horror stories about it about it being
a man and after they were done with their topics,
him having some opinions. Oh no about like, you know,
I don't think we need feminism. I think it's like
drawing too much attention to things and all of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
You know.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
So it could have gone that way, it could have
easily and it didn't, And I'm glad. I mean one
would hope and think that if people behind who knew
that this what this book was about, they would try
to not right, but.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
You never know, you never know, uh, I mean we
definitely when we started this process they didn't think that way.
Let's true. We had to like, we can't do that,
this is a feminist book doing you know, like literally
having to put in why a feminist book has to
remain feminist even behind the scene, and you know, so,
(11:52):
I mean yeah, we definitely encountered it from jump and
then had to do a lot of fixing it like no,
this is not going to work, and people be like,
oh okay, but at the same time also trying not
to give it to us.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
It was right, like it wasn't a big deal, and
we're like, right, kind of is it is just us?
Speaker 4 (12:10):
It is.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
All involved. It will be better you just justice on
this one.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, But a part of that was so as you
were saying, there are some pretty vulnerable moments in the book,
and I ended up crying pretty hard twice.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Twice.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I got some hugs, yes, I got some warm water
and tea. I got a lot of tea, kind words.
And I don't know how it would have gone if
I hadn't had women when I was being that open
about these things. But one of the things that surprised
me was I cried during my coming out chapter, or
(12:58):
I sort of just it was.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
It's it's not like I think I didn't think I.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Was gonna cry, because there's nothing in there that's very
you know, just on paper, sounds very heartbreaking or anything.
It's sad at some points, but it's not like, oh God,
what a horrible experience you've lived. But I never I
even though I've come out on this show to a
bunch of people I don't know, I'd never come out
(13:25):
to people I don't know in person or like while
they were there and could react, I guess, and I
started crying, and I especially like on the parts about
like feeling so lonely and feeling like something is wrong
with you, and I just I don't think I've ever
said it because it's those sections are written to be very.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Like journal kind of diary entry.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
And I know I've talked about it on here before,
but as we've said, we foolishly, at least I foolishly,
never thought we would be doing an audiobook.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
It didn't come into my head either, didn't until we
got that email saying, Hi, we're so excited to work
with you, and we're like, what, wait, what is this?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
What is this? This end?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I am very happy, like I want it to be accessible,
as accessible as it can be, but yeah, it never
ever occurred to me and you and I joked like
there are things I would have done differently had I
noted I would have to read it.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
It also is like the very because we went through
several editing processes. Obviously, when I would write something, our
amazing writer editor Jane, who we hoped to have on
the show, would come in and make it sound intelligible
because I would rant, as you know, and I'd just
keep going. Which was one of the critiques, not critiques,
but one of the comments and observations I got was
(14:45):
you write long sentences.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
I was like, yes, I do.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
I'm sorry, but the fact is, oh, I was like, oh,
I definitely didn't write that word. I don't even know
what that means. Someone pronounced this for me. That is
definitely not my phrase. I did not say it that way.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yes, so those.
Speaker 7 (15:03):
Moments are like oh oh right, yeah, and again like
I know you and I have read it several times,
but it's just saying something about and reading it.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Is it is also Yeah, just like I'm like, I'm
not an actor, right, Oh, I'm not a trained professional
in this, which, by the way, we do have an actor.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
I'm very excited for her to be a part of it.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I am too, but yeah, but like, like, how do
I make this sound interesting, right, instead of like me
just bumbling through?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah? And I think too, like we never thought we
have a book, and so it was strange to be
in a space where you could see like past people
they had, yes, and feel a little intimidated by very
Oh so you work with them?
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Ye?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yes, And I'm proud of what we did and I
don't want to make it sound like i'm not, but
I think we can all relate to that feeling of
I've never done this before and I'm sharing the same
space as this person who was really good and I
(16:15):
know is really good. So there was that going on
for sure. There was an element of very much for
me getting in my head where I would take their
advice so seriously and then I would get so caught
up about how I sounded. But it was like it
was a very intimate, for lack of a better word, environment,
(16:37):
and I'm just sharing this story that it's like me
coming out, and I just started crying, to my surprise,
and I thought, I feel since over the years, I
feel much more settled in my identity. I feel very
(16:58):
happy with it, which I do talk about in the
book as well. So it surprised me. But I think
I just hadn't realized how much I've internalized, like people
might reject you. Maybe it's not safe to do this
because at that point I didn't know. I knew they
were women, but I didn't know for sure. But they
(17:23):
were amazing and awesome, and one of them talked about
her coming out story and how important it is to
hear things like this, and we related about you know,
I didn't even know this was a thing, and I
wish I had known that it was a thing when
I was so much younger. So it was a really
(17:43):
great experience, Like I don't think I could have asked
for anything better than that, but it was kind of
eye opening for me about Okay, it still makes me nervous.
I'm still not totally comfortable, which makes sense. I didn't
know who they were, even as nice as they were. Yes,
(18:05):
I didn't know them. But it's also this is a
book in an audiobook, and now, for some reason, as
we've discussed, that feels much more permanent than when we
talk on the podcasts.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Right by the way, it's already being advertised on audible.
Oh really, yeah, I found it today, don't give me.
I was looking at something else and it was already
up and I was like, oh, reorder so you can
(18:41):
pre order the audio.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
And we haven't even finished it.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
We have it, and we have to go back and
do pickups.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
And I'm worried because I'm worried I'm gonna have to
do pickups for like the times I was crying.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yes, oh I did.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I definitely have to go back for like rename it.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Things like the hard to pronounce we do talk about
First Nations and indigenous people, and I was like, oh no,
I'm in trouble.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I wish we had their technology. They had a whole
technology that scans a document and tells you, oh, this
might be a word you want to look up.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Oh really, Yeah, they didn't know how to say it either.
I found it well. It was still difficult.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yes, it was.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Cool though, because they had a whole process for figuring
out how to pronounce things, including calling their friends in
different countries. It was very deat right, Yes, But on
top of that, I realized I had this beautiful conversation
about coming out, and it was so nice and like
this kind of connecting, you know, all of this stuff.
(19:49):
But then I also realized that I'm still really afraid,
and rightfully so, I think in some ways of getting
stuff wrong when it comes to LGBTQ plus, which is
something I kept tripping upon that I had to say
a million times, just terminology, and it's a part of
it is so much of it is in flux, and
(20:10):
so much of it is being discussed and is changing.
But I had a lot of anxiety about the Monday
many I did by myself, which was just a strict
history of the terminology. So I'm still struggling with that,
and I still, you know, I'm a cis white, straight
(20:31):
passing person, and so I think I felt it's always
good to keep things in context, but I think I
felt like when I was having this emotion that I
shouldn't be having it because I really haven't suffered that much.
And like I said, I think it's important to keep
(20:52):
things in context. But it was also like, I don't
think I ever grappled with just how lonely.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I felt, So.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
It was interesting. It was interesting, but I do hope
that it will help people, anyone who listens. I feel
like me didn't know that that terminology, didn't know that
was a thing, even though that's like what was going on.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I do hope it will help I'm sure somebody.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And then I've also been thinking about this too, And
this is just a quick I've only been thinking about
it and will wrap up. But I've been thinking about
a couple of you have written in asking for resources,
because you you'll be talking to people who don't know
about a lot of queer terminology. They don't know that
(21:49):
there's like a romantic spectrum on top of a sexual spectrum, and.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
That got me thinking, like I.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
About the how we say love is love, which I'm
all about, but it's also like, should be able to
have consensual sex with whoever you want to.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I'm all for lovers love, but also you know.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
But that being said, if anyone does have really great resources,
I usually go to the Trevor Project. That they don't,
at least as far as I saw, don't have a
great breakdown of the romantic versus sexual spectrum. They do
have a really great breakdown of a gender identity. But
if you have any resources, we would love to shout
(22:35):
them out, So please send those our way. Cheers, Samantha,
we did it.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
We're part way through it, most of the way through it.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Cheers. We're more than halfway there. Ers.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yes, If you would like to contact us, you can
our emails Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You
can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or
on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told You.
You can also find us on YouTube. We have a
tea public store. You have new stuff on there. You
should check it out. We do have a book that
you can pre order at stuff. You should read books
(23:12):
dot com. Apparently we also have an audible book you
can already pre orders, so check that out. It's gonna
be cool, it's gonna have like narration by an actor.
It's gonna be awesome. Yes, Thanks as always to our
super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.
Thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff I
never told you the protection of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts
(23:33):
on my heart Radio, you can check out the iHeart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or regular listen to your favorite shows.
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Samantha McVey
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