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June 28, 2024 17 mins

Pride flags have been destroyed and even banned in public spaces across the country. We talk about how that has played out on a larger scale and a more personal one in this classic episode.

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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Anny and Samantha. I'm opening to stuff
I'll never told your predict if I heard you. And today,
because we've got some vacations and scheduling and all that stuff,
we're bringing a classic early. And because it is the

(00:29):
end of Pride Month twenty twenty four, I wanted to
bring back one that I don't I normally wouldn't bring
back because it's so recent. I think it's about a
year ago. We did this one, but it was about
the pushback against the Pride flag, and because there's been
so much development around this, I thought I would bring
it back. We recently talked about how in Colorado, the

(00:54):
GOP here in the US publicly called for the Pride
flag burned. There's been several instances of Pride flags being
burned or destroyed. Some people have been arrested. We've got justice.
Alito's wife caught on tape talking about her disgust of

(01:15):
the Pride flag and how she would like her very
angry flag to fly. Also, I learned recently that in
Denver there's a lawsuit where a parent is trying to
make it that it's required to fly to have the

(01:37):
straight Pride flag. And I looked it up. I'd never
seen it, and it's real sad. It's a sad flag.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Like I can only imagine.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
It's like it looks like handcuffs and a jail cell.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
It is very just like stick figures with like an
angry face with a flag of zone the two.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
It's so obviously they're trying to get away from the rainbow.
So it's black and white striped.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yes, Sonny was gonna be no colors.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
No color. And then in the center is like the
gender symbols of men and women, but they're they're looped
so they look like handcuffs. It's it's not it doesn't
look good, it doesn't look fun. And you know, this
is coming on a time when a lot of places

(02:32):
are trying to ban the Pride flag. It's also coming
at a time when I'm going back to the place
I talked about in this episode where my uncle is
very against the Pride flag. So we'll see how that goes.
But also just a lot of really conservative laws about
what can and can't be displayed in So I thought,

(02:55):
even though it's been I'm pretty sure less than a
year since we did this one, I'll bring it back.
But I hope that people are having have had a
happy pride. I did get a Star Wars Pride flag
that I will hang up. I will why it on
the flagpole. But no, well I don't want to deal

(03:18):
with my uncle, as I discussed in this episode, but
I will it will be displayed. But yes, I hope
everyone is doing well. And yeah, please enjoy this class episode. Hey,

(03:39):
this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steffan. Never
told you protection of iHeart radio. And today I'm just
going to share some personal stuff that was brought on
by new use item that I found, but also some

(04:02):
stuff going on in my life and it's kind of
frustrating around like acceptance of the queer community and LGBTQ
plus people and your family. So I hear you if
you don't want to hear it right now, but I so. So.

(04:23):
There was this news story that said this place in
Michigan had banned pride flags in public, and here's a
quote from CNN about it. The resolution brought by City
council member Mohammed Hassan says that the city council will
not provide special treatment to any group of people. City

(04:43):
council members shared that flying a Pride flag could potentially
lead to other quote radical or racist groups asking for
their flags to be flown. So there was that. And
then I'm sure you all have seen, but there's been
a lot of a lot of the flags at Stone
Wall have been destroyed. So I was thinking about this,

(05:09):
but I wasn't, like, you know, going to talk about
it really. But then I was talking with my mom,
and we am very fortunate to have this beach house
that my grandparents built. You've been, Sabantha. It's very lovely, yes, yes,

(05:34):
but it shared amongst like a lot of people. It's
basically I mean, it's got to be fifteen plus people
have access to it. And I last two years ago.
Two years ago, we were there and I have two
friends who I won't say fell in love there, but

(05:58):
it was like kind of where their relationship started, their
romantic relationships started. They are queer. I've known these women
since middle school, high school, so we go every year.
So I've known them for a very long time, and

(06:20):
I remember joking with them that I thought they were
the power couple before I even knew what was going
I was like the last one in our friend group
to find out because I didn't understand when one of
them told me, she was like I love her, and
I was like, yeah, me too. You know, friendship.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
That's just so on par with everything else in dating, romance,
love life. So yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
And then like the next day after she told me
that because I just got into a lift. This was
back in the days when I like went out to
clubs at night, and so I got in a lift.
She said that, and then I get this text and
I was like, we really need to hang out tomorrow again.
And I was like, oh, okay, well sure, but they
were like, we need to make you understand what we
were really right. So it's like an important place in

(07:11):
terms of their relationship. And they had their bachelorette party there.
It was very cute, a lot of peach themed items
and it was very cute. So two years ago, there's
a flagpole out fronts and we flew the Pride flag

(07:31):
so they could take pictures pictures there. You know, I
didn't really think anything of it, which is perhaps saying
something I think I've said before. You know, I'm so
used to like my friend group in Atlanta, and like
I don't encounter homophobia like in person. A lot anymore
like online, yes, in the news, yes, but like in person.

(07:56):
And so all my friends were sleeping. I was outside alone,
just relaxing, and one of my relatives came up to
me and he was just acting kind of funny. He
was acting kind of weird and he was like, well,
where is everybody else? And I sat out there inside
and he was like, what are you doing, like just relaxing,

(08:18):
you know whatever. The next day, seven am, I had
a phone call from my mom that's like, you have
to take the flag down. And I was so confused,
and I was kind disoriented because it was seven am,
and I remember kind of hedging about it where it
was like, it's not like causing any harms, you know,

(08:39):
this is our property and all this stuff, And it
was clear my mom was not she was being asked
by someone else, and I just didn't have the heart
to like tell my friends to take it down, so
we left it up. I didn't say anything about it,
and it was just strange because then I was looking
back over that in right I had with the relative,

(09:01):
and he was it was kind of gross because he
was like it felt very like, oh, like he thought
maybe they were all inside having sex or something or
like you know that kind of sexualization and or he
was like angry that now, oh then that attracted to
me this old dude, which is gross. And again this

(09:24):
is like, maybe that's not what it was. But he
didn't even know what the flag meant. He had to
look it up. He had to look it up and
then call another relative who then called my mom. And
so that reminded me of your story with your family, Samantha,
where you were like do you even know when pride is?

(09:44):
Like he didn't even know what this flag was, right,
he was just like, I gotta look it up. Okay, no,
this has to be angry. Yes, yes, And it was
so sad because, like I said, it's it is it
might for my friend, it's an important place, and for
me it is who I'm also queer. So it was

(10:05):
just like an uncomfortable situation. And then so I try
to keep it a secret, which I don't know if
it is the good thing or the bad thing, I
don't know, but I tried to like preserve I can
handle this. I can handle my family, and I'm not
going to put it on you. So I try not
to tell them anything. The next year, we came and

(10:30):
we put up a Star Wars flag because we're that cool,
and it was like over wan Kenobi had come out
like we were living our best Star Wars life, and
we got like a lot of people came over and said, oh,
basically the flag. I'm glad it's a different flag than

(10:53):
the other flag. Everyone was cool with the Star Wars flag.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Wait, people actually came over to tell you that, to
tell you that they're glad this's got the other flag.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
One one person did, and then someone else came over
and like, I interpreted what she said as she did
not care because my uncle it was my uncle also
called the neighbors and asked and they're like, no, we
don't care. So that's how I interpreted it. But now
I'm not so sure. That's I don't know. But people

(11:22):
came up and so the truth had to come out
with my friends, where I was like, yes, they were
real mad about it.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
I hate it. So for a full year they didn't know. Yes,
your friends didn't.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Know, yeah, because I didn't want them to feel like
how I was feeling after it.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
And it also says they didn't listen to the show
because I remember we talked about this immediately after how
dare you.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yeah, yeah, well they do. Actually one of them does
listen to a lot of it, so yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
Anyway.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Anyway, anyway, so I had kept it a secret, and
then when it came out, I wasn't a big deal.
But then I was kind of caught between this desire
to like, let's piss this old guy off as much
as we can, let's hang up all the flags, and
my poor momo was caught in between. So all of that.

(12:29):
This other day, my mom called me and it came up,
and she said, they've requested you only fly the American
flag and no other flag, which I don't care, Like honestly,
I don't care. And I could like hang up all
of the flags alongside, like there's a lot of things
I could do, but it was just kind of like,

(12:49):
oh my god, it's been two years, like chill out,
just just just stop with this.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Feel like hearing this from the beginning of the first
incident to this it shows the level of media influence,
especially conservative media influence, and where they're getting their news
and how they're dealing with it. So their following suit
to the conservative gas lighting of the queer individuals in general,

(13:22):
which wasn't not happening as much five years ago. It
started happening within the Trump administration, and it got bigger
and bigger and bigger, and then went from trance to
obviously all queer because we knew that was going to
happen now doing all the things. But yeah, it almost
is like the perfect timelinfe predictor of what's happening in
your family.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, it does feel like it's backtracking along with what
we're seeing in the news because originally there's like three
main family members involved in this, and originally it was
like two to one on my side, with my mom
obviously being on my side. Now it's two to one
against me. Although I mean he didn't say any thing specific,

(14:00):
but I feel like that's a pretty clear message.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
That's especially there's like we have to tell Annie that
is more than pointed yes yes.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
And it was just so infuriating because and I'm sure
a lot of listeners can relate to this. I know
any listener who's been to a family gathering where you
don't agree politically can relate to this. But it's so
annoying because there's there is a part of me that's like, no,
just to do what I want. And there's another part
of me that's like, is that the fight I want

(14:32):
to have, is that the fight I want to pull
my mom into because I mean, one of them lives
like right there, so it would be I would be
dealing with it, which is not what I want on
a vagation, right, Yeah. But it makes me feel like

(14:53):
then I'm not standing up for stuff. But at the
same time, I'm like, we all have to choose these battles.
But that's why I might Maybe I'll compromise and I'll
hang a bunch of them about and not put it
on just like.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Right, put it on. Get these little little like, uh,
decorations that go on tables, you know, while people have
flags on tables. Yeah, put it all over your little posts.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
You have a little porch a little inside, just put
it there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
And it's also like it's just frustrated because you know,
I don't want to pull my friends into it. I
don't want them to get dragged into my family drama,
even though I'm sure they have all dealt with it too,
So I don't know. I was just like reading this
news and then my mom said Dad, and I was like, jeez,
it really has become a lot, a lot worse. I

(15:45):
do agree with you, but I'm gonna come up with something.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
I'm excited to hear what you come up with.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Yes, yes, I will. And it is it's like the
fact that he didn't even know what it was. That's
oh my god. All right, Well i'll report back, I'm
sure because we're going in July. Yes, well, it's a
says I'm really annoyed too, because they were like, that's

(16:17):
what your grandfather would have wanted, only the American flag,
And it's like, okay, bring him into this.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
In what the American flag is today, it's almost more
fearful for me to see than anything else. It almost
translates into the opposite of what a pride flag would be. Right.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
It does feel like the people who would proudly be
flying it, and I'm not saying you can't, but it
feels like a lot of the people who are are
probably people I won't agree with little lot of right,
h yeah, which is a really unfortunate, unfortunate thing. But yeah, yeah,
so we'll see what happens. I will come back listeners

(16:57):
if you have any thoughts suggestions on how to deal
with this are ways I can like make a statement,
but not fly a flag our pole. Please write in.
You can emailus at Sepania mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com.
You can find us on Twitter at Momstup podcast, or
on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told You.

(17:18):
We're also on YouTube. We also have a tea public store. Yes,
we also have a book. You can pre or order
it at stuff you Should Read books dot com. Also
on audible. Thanks as always to our super producer Christina,
our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Thank y'all, yes, and.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Thanks to you for listening. Stuff I Never Told You
is production of by Heart Radio. For more podcasts from
my Heart Radio, you can check out the iru app
Apple podcast regulusten to your favorite shows.

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