Animalia Stupendium: The Musk Deer

Bored with dragons, the wizard Argomandanies turns his arcane attention to the fantastic fauna of the natural world. Welcome to Animalia Stupendium, a chronicle of Earth’s amazing biodiversity with all the enthusiasm of a fantasy monster book. In this episode, the wizard will consider the mighty musk deer!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Stuff to blow your mind, a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to an Eimalia stupendium. My name is Argomandanes, Professor
Emeritus at the Silk School of Wizardry, Transfiguration, enjoyer and
tireless creature chronicler. Alas, as you well know, mere monsters

(00:30):
hold no mystery for me. These days, cyclopsies are half
as fun as they used to be, and eatons are
twice as dull. Thus I turn my attention once more
to the strange fauna of a land called Earth. Travel
with me, gentle reader, as we consider the musk deer

(00:54):
common name musk dear scientific classification eight species of the
genus Marcius, frequency and range mountains of South Asia, size
between fifty to seventy centimeters twenty to twenty eight inches
at the shoulder. Diet mostly leaves, flowers and grasses, treasure horn,
highly prized scent gland or musk sack challengating two. As

(01:20):
you well know, my own world is one of intensely
magical creatures. And while you may find dragons and centaurs
intensely interesting to me, they are not only old hat
they are illogical. Their study reveals nothing about the world

(01:42):
of nature. Instead, these studies reveal only the world of
human magic and invention. And while Earth has certainly known
the corrupting touch of human invention, it is at least
thus far free of actual magic, and that, in my opinion,
is its beauty. I, for instance, find more beauty in

(02:05):
a mule here than in a manticore. And thus word
of the musk deer initially horrified me. A diminutive deer
said to carry a sack of valuable perfume, and despite
its herbivorous diet, a pair of protruding fangs, and so

(02:27):
I ventured into their alleged epode vampire slaying kit. At
the retty, I had no choice, I thought, but to
eradicate these deer from Hell, these blood sucking traffickers of
strange sense, before they could corrupt this world any further.
Turns out I was wrong for starters. The musk sack

(02:51):
in question is actually an abdominal hair covered gland found
only on adult male musk deer. The word musk actually
stems from the word for testicles in two prominent Earth languages,
Sanskrit and Farci. Because the sack was indeed long mistaken

(03:14):
for male gonads. The males use the musk inside, distributed
via its urine, to mark territory, attract females, and communicate
with rivals. Humans came to prize the pungent contents of
the musk sack, using it for traditional medicinal purposes and

(03:35):
eventually as an ingredient in various perfumes, though synthetic options
have helped to lessen the strain on these now endangered deer.
Now I say deer, for such is their name, and
they do look like deer of a smaller stature, but
genetically they are closer relatives of cattle, sheep and the

(03:59):
all mighty goat. Ah. But let us solve the mystery
of those impressive fangs. Yes, there is no hint of
vamporism here. They do not need an invite to enter
your home. Garlic will not discuathe them, and holy symbols
of a dozen dire gods will not banish them into

(04:21):
the night. Though they do tend to be nocturnal and
crepuscular in nature. No, no, no, The tusk like downward
protrusions occur only in the males of the species, and
are indeed actually elongated canine teeth. They reach lengths of
seven to ten centimeters nearly four inches, or one length

(04:42):
of a wizard's pin. Lacking horns or antlers, the males
use these cruel teeth in aggressive displays against competitors, raising
their heads, snorting, wriggling, and allowing thick spittle to drip
from their elongated teeth. This display, or the display of

(05:02):
a competitor, may be enough to prevent combat from occurring,
but if not slashing damage, they'll charge, slashing at the
competitors hindquarters and flank, lashing out as well with their
front hoofs. They'll even pursue a weaker rival, driving them

(05:24):
from their territory, and these attacks may tear flesh and
in extreme cases even damage internal organs with possible fatal ramifications. Diminutive, yes,
but fierce in their own way. Now there are more
mysteries concerning the musk deer to consider, but for now

(05:46):
I must retire my wizard's quill and allow my familiars
some level of respite. But I shall return with even
more wonders of the natural world.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
Hi, this is Robert Lamb. Thanks once more to the
wizard Augo Mantanes for joining us in this episode. Sources
for this episode included this stinky substance is eight times
the price of gold and harvested from one of the
world's rarest creatures by Sheena Harvey, Discover Wildlife twenty twenty five,
Quantified analysis of regression patterns in a captive population of

(06:23):
musk deer by Ming at All Annals of Animal Science
twenty twelve, and The Farming of Musk Deer by B. L.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
Zang and F. M.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
Dang, published by Agricultural Publishing Company, nineteen seventy. Thanks, as
always to the excellent JJ Possway for producing this episode.
If you wish to contact Argomanines with recommendations for future episodes,
you can send an email to contact at stuffable your
mind dot com.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Stuff to Blow Your Mind is production of iHeartRadio. For
more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.