In this edition of I Need 6 Trends, Miles and special guest co-host Blake Wexler discuss the nightmare hellscape that is April Fool's Day, the incipient launch of Artemis 2, an update on Dear Leader who keeps doing bad stuff and we're all somehow powerless to stop him… ffs, the latest Charlie Kirkspiracy and much more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everybody, and welcome to this afternoon edition of I
Need six Trends? I think? Is that what I put yep? No,
but I put yep exactly. I need to take what
it is because we were talking about beauty and the
Beast I need six eggs, and I didn't know about
the meme anyway. Shout out to you, Kurt, do that
(00:21):
on television for that short show title. Anyway, We're going
to tell you what's trending today, Wednesday, April first, No
April fools shit here. Like I said this morning's episode,
I don't have the fucking energy, but somehow I do
have the energy to be joined by this very specific
guest co host who's an April Fool's joke in and
of themselves. The hell what the heck? Fucking mystery? I
(00:45):
don't think? Are you kidding? Sometimes feels like an attack
on my sanity. Welcome Blake Wexler, Miles.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I've been tricked forty times today and it's not even
two o'clock.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I haven't read anything even, have you know, but for
have you read anything that's been a like a April
Fool's joke?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
The most low stakes trick where it was like this
comedy club got a new location in a place, but
there was no stakes to it whatsoever. It's like, hey,
we've opened a new location and I'm like, oh, congrats,
and I'm like, god, damn it. And it's also like, well,
this isn't really Yeah, yeah, I just felt like a fool.
(01:27):
Those were the steaks my my self esteem. She's never
been lower on a day like this.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, there's not a lot of stuff I saw. I'm
just like, looking, now, Oh, we've got a kim chi dessert.
I'm like, I don't know that that could be good.
I've had are like ice cream before. Someone are doing
water flights. It's and it's all boomers like, and they're like,
come to our business. We were doing water flights. I'm like,
this shit is not fucking funny.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I told my wife, who's very pregnant with twins, that
street sweeping has been suspended so we don't have to
like move the car tomorrow, which is true, and she goes,
you're trying to trick me, and I'm like, why would
I trick you.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
It's so hard for you to get up and downstairs.
That's wait, why is it suspended? There? Like a h
because there's good. Good Friday is Friday? Maybe? Oh right? Sure?
Yeah yeah, I think yeah, as on Wednesday. Yeah, let's
make this good Friday. I mean, does it good? Yeah? Okay, anyway,
(02:30):
what are you doing for the Memorial of Jesus Christ?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I'm doing stand up, which I like doing stand up
on these weird because it's not a it's not a Christmas,
it's not a Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
You know, he's doing shit for Easter. No.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Now in this city, it's filled with heretics and Charlatan's,
you know, they don't New Jersey.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Get the bunny ship out of the way. Yeah, what
are you doing anything? No, be honest, you have to
answer the hard question. Just to see when my grandparents
were alive, Yeah, you know what I mean. But because
they were you know, they were god fearing, good, good,
upstanding Christian. Of course I will go. Because also my
grandfather would buy so many Dove chocolates that like we
would just eat out of the bag and like watch
(03:13):
TV and we're like, yeah, I don't know, but now no,
not so much. No one, no one is taking up
that mantle. And also like my cousins like live all
over the place. Now this you know, the family too much.
Has the family un It's just been broken up, you know,
and not even not even the Resurrection of Christ can
bring it back anyway. What's trending today on April first, Well,
(03:35):
here's one. So tonight NASA's Artemis two is scheduled to launch.
Hopefully that's not a weird April fool's joke and it
will be launching. But it is going to be launching tonight.
This is going to be the first crude lunar mission
since nineteen seventy two. But it's not They're not landing
and they're not going to be like sea walking on
(03:56):
the Moon. They're just going to be doing a fly by,
a lunar fly by, which, yeah, I guess that's cool.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
It's good to show your face network a little bit,
you know, show people you're still around, show the galaxy.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
We're still Here's up, guys, guys, good, all right, man,
I'm just gonna loop around real quick and just send
this thing on back to Earth. See. Uh, but yeah,
they're just gonna go again looping around. We all remember
the diagram from Apollo thirteen, where's like it went around
and then straight back. And I guess you know some
(04:28):
experts have been like this, how's that orion capsule heat shield?
Because the Artemis one heat shield cracked and cratered with
unexpected damage. Lord, so you know, people are a little
bit like, you know, maybe let's check check in on that,
check in on that. There are some people former NASA
astronaut was like, what they're talking about doing is crazy.
(04:49):
But I don't know what's the cruise situation. How many
seats we have in the four four four seats? One perfect?
You know what one toilet seat is now? And that
is actually the reason only reason I'm really interested in this,
because there's somebody who would go to the Smithsonian Aerospace
Museum every time I would go by the Space Shuttle
(05:10):
thing and look at the fecal bag and laugh. I
don't know why. That's without fail, Her Majesty knows when
we go in there, She's like, you're gonna go and
fucking take a picture of the thing that says fecal bag,
aren't you? When I go, No, No, that's an old
that's an old picture. Hey, but why don't you just
go check out this This little World War two plane
really crack out to the bathroom really quickly. Anyway, so
(05:34):
I'm immature. I like to take pictures of things that
say the word fecal on it, but this one, this
artem is too. This ain't your grandpa's space shitter. Because
for the this is a first for a NASA lunar mission.
Because in the Apollo program, the and I think we
remember this from Apollo thirteen, they were just pissing whatever
(05:54):
just right there in front of everybody. There was no privacy.
And then yeah, they popped into little plastic back fecal bags, bags,
legs and anyway. So it's been a few few years
since the last mission and they've updated it. Now they've
got this real nice toilet on there, and this is
(06:17):
the first. The crew said, quote, we're pretty fortunate as
a crew to have a toilet with a door on
this tiny spacecraft. Because now, I don't know if you
see this picture here, it looks like a shop back basically,
but and with like a big blue hose. The hose
is for peepee, and then the top tank is where
you do poo poo, And yeah, could you imagine just
(06:39):
like it goes? Oh my, gotcha, bring in this silly astronaut.
There's no fucking gravity, man, now, it's just floating loose
in the fucking capsule right now. But yeah, there's apparently
a long flexible urine host and each astronaut will have
their his or her own funnel for that hose to
(07:01):
keep things sanitary. Urine goes down the hose with airflow,
doing this shepherding work rather than gravity. Again, breaking news
and things I felt like I had to talk about
because I love space be and space poo.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Shepherding work is so it's so good as a terminology
for what you just described where because what's the altermais.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Go down the piss. Yeah, it eats the piss. These
straight up eats the piss using air And then it's like,
you know what I mean, this work by airflow. Yeah, yeah,
probably good to have people who are science writers science
communicators is kind of thing. Otherwise you can get me
(07:41):
being like the ship goes in the shop back or something. Anyway,
So there's that news. Also a lot of there's a
lot of Trump news going on. Many many things are
to start tonight. Apparently he's giving an address about Iran
this even now what will he say? Who fucking knows?
(08:03):
It will probably do some combination of we're totally winning
the war, and we are done mixed with and that's
why life is going to be tremendously difficult for the
foreseeable future in terms of energy costs, human suffering, and
failed leadership. He may also publicly break up with NATO.
(08:23):
That's a thing he's been threatening to do with like
a lot more intensity over the last few days, because
I think now maybe in his mind he's like, yeah,
the reason I'm failing this war I should have never
began is because NATO won't back me to go even
deeper into the mistake. Yeah, Yeah, that's it. So it's
their fault, actually, and I'll break up with them. It's
(08:46):
probably gonna be some combination of something about upsetting maybe
the global order of post World War two order, and
maybe energy costs. And that's because some of our allies,
or I guess for allies at this point, I don't
even know what they are at this point, but they
are saying things to their people that would imply this
(09:07):
won't this won't be a sort of world uniting moment
or address that Trump is going to give. There was
right before The Telegraph published an exclusive interview with Trump
in which he said he was considering pulling out of NATO.
Here Starmar, Prime Minister of the UK, all but confirmed
the beginning of the end of the quote special relationship
between the US and UK. He said, it's increasingly clear
(09:29):
that the UK's quote long term national interest requires closer
partnership with our allies in Europe and with the European Union.
This also comes after we heard that the UK isn't
even sharing much intelligence with the US anymore because Trump
is fucked in his mind and a weirdo that can't
be trusted. And then also in Australia, their Prime minister
(09:51):
also told the nation. You know the Australian's got to do.
They beat and not use more fuel than necessary if possible,
switch to you using public transport. So we don't know.
I don't know. It sounds like everyone's they're definitely preparing
their people for like guy ship, I think, shit's shit's fucked,
Shit's fucked, Shit's fucked and it and this time it's
(10:12):
actually kind of not our fault. It's really all it's
it's pretty much Net and Yahoo and Trump that have
done this. So I just want to prepare you. Please
don't put this at my.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Feet, do you remember when he created that super cool
group with the worst countries that could like apply to
be in his own special group by paying X amount.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Of the Board of Peace.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, yeah, the Board of Peace. Excuse me. Yeah, And
it's such a great name. I it escaped my small mind.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Ye.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
But no, I think like that's an easy replacement for NATO.
I think the Board of Peace that you can apply.
I don't know if applications are still open. I think
maybe we could apply, and perhaps we don't have them,
like we don't don't, Yeah, damn it. And maybe there's
a junior Board of Peace.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, maybe there's exactly like a like a development program
for that. There's also another shady thing, uh that was
pointed out. A mysterious trader buys fifty three million dollars
I believe in crypto. Yeah, so I don't. I don't.
I don't know what's going on here, you know, worth
(11:15):
of ether. So some trader bought fifty three million dollars
worth of ether And now people are gonna be like,
is this something to do with what Trump is saying?
Because we all know all of these announcements typically have
some like part of like market manipulation in it.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
And there's always some insider trading preceding these, you know,
like it is funny. As as much as the UK's
response is like, hey, you know, we're actually going to
focus on in our European relations, that's as much as
an indicator. It's there's all these indicators of all the
stupid shit. I say, yeah, because everybody doesn't.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Uh so we'll see I don't know, we'll embrace ourselves
for some kind of update. We won't know. Elsewhere Trump did,
he's taking a up a couple lls. The bribe Bunker
aka the Trump White House ballroom has been indefinitely halted.
(12:08):
So you know this is he's been doing like some shit.
He's like, yeah, I owned the White House. You do not.
You are literally not the owner of the White House.
I know that people can do have done stuff to
the Rose gardens, but being like I'm bulldozing this thing
and now I'm going to make a cool miniature golf
course under the you can't do any of that shit again.
He was telling people is the greatest ballroom people have
(12:30):
ever seen, and reality it was just a collection plate
for bribes from like wealthy donors and tech companies like palanteer.
It also turns out it wasn't even really a ballroom
because recently, I mean, people knew there was going to
be an underground military complex, but Trump really like brought
out the photos like it's gonna be great. Look at this,
that Pentagon really wanted this underground military bunker complex, and
(12:52):
so you know, maybe we're gonna do it. But that's
bullshit because you know, Trump is obsessed with bunkers and
been getting in his little high because if you remember,
in the summer of twenty twenty, Trump was so terrified
of BLM protests that he hid in his own little
bunker with a cyanide capsule in his mouth just in case,
just in case the equality seeking hordes breached the gates,
(13:14):
and in which case he would, I'll fucking go. I
don't give a shit. They're not going to get me.
So I think this bunker is just a manifestation of
his own fear of like accountability.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Denise start complaining too. Where he goes well, was supposed
to be a secret. Yeah, No, one want just to
know about this.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Until some very unpatriotic people, that's what he said, Some
very unpatriotic people decided to like, squeal on me. I
think I have a clip here, yeah, here he is.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Now the military is building a big complex under the ballroom,
which has come out recently because of a stupid lawsuit
that was filed. What the military is building a massive.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Complex holding this big thing like it's that's under construction.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
We're doing very well.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
So where schedule the bar was struggling to hold the
weight of that? Yeah, I mean piece of paper. Hey, hey,
that's phone board, you know what I mean? Boards that
could be a pound and a half. Oh easily. Dare
I say a pound and three quarters? Okay, yeah, I
mean that's a lot. That is a lot. But hey,
it is what it is. So a judge has just
(14:19):
granted the National Trust for Historic Preservations request for a
preliminary injunction that essentially just halts construction on the four
hundred million dollar I soar. And this is like in
the decision, the judge said, quote, no statute comes close
to giving the president the authority he claims to have.
The President of the United States is the steward of
(14:40):
the White House for future generations of first families. He
is not, however, the owner. And there's an exclamation point
in there, so thanks, he means business.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Now, did they have to halt construction on the whole
thing or just the bunker?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Like?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (14:55):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
It's like, bro, stop function all that hole in the ground.
What do you doing? Stop it? Stop it, stopt it out.
It's like that Michael Jordan PSA about drug. Stop it,
stop it, you know what I mean? Just knock it off?
All right? Then let's say, actually, just take a quick break.
We'll come back with one other Trump l uh, and
(15:16):
then a new Charlie Kirk conspiracy. Oh my god, pez
oh tase, you know what I mean. You don't know
what it could be. Tune in to find out right
after this and we're back. Trump also has been told
(15:42):
to eat shit for with Actually no, I guess that's
what it is, okay. Trump has a judge has agreed
to permanently block the Trump administration from implementing a directive
of his where he's like end all funding for NPR,
the public broadcasting service otherwise known as PBS. It's bad.
(16:05):
US District Judge Randolph Moss ruled that his executive order
is unlawful and unenforceable, and said the First Amendment right
to free speech quote does not tolerate viewpoint discrimination and
retaliation of this type. It is difficult to conceive of
clear evidence that a government action is targeted at viewpoints
that the president does not like and seeks to squelch.
(16:27):
So great, I love the Again, we have another decision
from a judge where essentially, like what they write is like, dude,
what the fuck are you even talking about here? What
do you mean? No, you know, dude, what And I'm
sorry that it takes someone to sue you for me
to have to come in and say that, But yeah,
you can't. You can't do that. Shit so good.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
It's every everything that everything he does legally is like
the equivalent of a person being like, hey, do not
touch that open flame, don't put your hand on that
open flame. But this one, yeah, this one right here,
I can put my hand on the open flame, gets burnt,
hand recoils. Most most presidents would not touch it.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Oh you said I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I'll probably take your word for everyone says I can't
do that legally, and no, he's just it's the only
check in balance that works on him so far. Sometimes
right the first administration, people are like, hey, don't touch
that flame.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Remember, remember not remember you burn your little hand. Remember
you burn your.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Tiny, tiny, weeny whittle fingers, tiny weak, baby like hands
that couldn't even palm a tennis ball. If you no,
that's how small your hand is.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
And you turn. That's why he likes golf so much. Yeah, exactly,
I can ween sea whittle. I can wear bagyass gloves.
He's like, I can fit into a magnum watch this ship.
Bag you again just all like wind sock. Yeah what
(18:01):
winds damn, mister president, kind of fucking besides, you go,
that's a youth medium. Yeah, man, and you got all
that room you tried, have you tried just tying off
the tips? You got a lot of slack tie him
off actually some sort of rubber band situation. Yeah. Yeah.
And then I think with this administration, everybody so telling him,
(18:24):
he's like, dude, what's even fire? Dude? That last one
was a fluke, bro, you got it this time. Put
your fucking whole head in the flame. Man, you're gonna
be fine.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
That was the wrong fire. That's weird fire. That you
told me that was weird fire. That was weird fire.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Let me see that. Oh yeah, that was weird this. Yeah,
you're good, You're good. This is a toll hand in there,
so yeah, both of Again the I think Trump also
responded to this with more whining and stuff. And that's that's,
that's all there is, because otherwise he has to take
his naps and not pay attention to anything else going on.
And then finally, an alleged bombshell in the Charlie Kirk trial,
(19:05):
Tyler Robinson, the alleged shooter, his lawyers revealed in court
filings that the ATF quote could not conclusively connect a
bullet fragment recovered during the autopsy to the rifle found
near this scene. What handis? Owens another lover and really
(19:26):
one of the great disseminators of Charlie Kirk conspiracy theories,
had to share the news with many other people, and
I don't know, they're just basically saying, like, see, there's
no convincing evidence. Okay, this is again there's probably an
inside job. But again, this is one of those moments
(19:47):
where experts are like, yeah, there's a thing called the
CSI effect. Maybe you've heard about people think they know
everything about shit because they've seen CSI. Forensic analysts can
easily fail to match bullets to guns for a variety
of reasons, including fragment damage, lack of markings on the bullet,
(20:08):
a limited sample size, or other problems. So this isn't
the kind of gotcha thing that Candice Owans thinks, because
they're like, yeah, this this happens a lot. It happens
like quite a lot. Even three years ago, the Maryland
Supreme Court actually ruled that quote ballistics evidence is not
supported by science. So yeah, no longer, because you know
(20:31):
it used to being like in CSI, they're like, let
me see the bullet. It matches your gun exactly. Motherfucker,
you're fucking cooked. And I think because of that, people
are like, oh huh, And so therefore they read a
headline that the bullet doesn't match, and now it allows
whatever Candae Owans wants to do. You have you seen
(20:52):
the state of candae owns right now, because she is
in a like five way cage match with everybody over
at the Daily Wire and many other people because like
everyone's breaking off into their own little corners.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
She was also recently diagnosed with terminal CSI effect where
she has it and it's as weeks to live and.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
She's always wearing sunglasses like cooking David Caruso and CSI
Miami just always just ripping them off as any piece
of punctuation.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, be it a comma. Even she takes them off.
You see an ellipses. Subscribe to my channel. Yeah hell yeah,
fuck yeah man, love that.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Did you watch CSI even? How couldn't you? You could?
You could not watch it? That you did watch it?
I watched it so much, and I thought I was
being educated at the time. I was like interesting, interesting,
interesting in my mind.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Cs I was so big in my mind, like there's
something that you assumed to be true and you just
never confirm it. Where in my mind David Caruso was
the star of every blockbuster movie.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Also, you know, like that's where I thought his career was.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Or it's like, yeah, if he's in the biggest this
is the greatest show of all time, he must be
you know, gotten the roll over DiCaprio, Like he must
be the most sought after guy in all of entertations.
But it was kind of just that show. Every once
in a while you'd see him pop up in something
you'd be like, oh, fuck, he's about to do it. Yep, yep,
you better not be wearing sunglasses, so I want people
(22:22):
to pay attention to the rest of the movie.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
There are times, back to him, I'd go to Japan,
like in the summer, and there would be the like
in the middle of the night you would get blocks
of like American TV shows, and sometimes like I would
just be like, because you know, i'd be there for
like a summer, like with my mom. How old were you,
probably like teenager, like whenever the show first came out,
maybe like nineteen or I don't even know what. Yeah, yes,
(22:46):
I me, let's see, so it started two thousand and two. Okay, yeah,
this tracks so yeah, watching that because I'm like being
homesick and that's all I'd watch. And that really fucking
pulled me in to the point where I think, again,
I'm ashamed at how much I thought Horatio Caine was
telling me the truth about anything. But here we are, Here,
(23:07):
we are, we are. Now I'm hosting a podcast and
also saying outright lies total and taking your glasses on
and off. Yeah, with the confidence of Lieutenant Horatio Caine. Yes,
all right, well that's going to do it for you.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Never got a promotion, Horatio can I was just lieutenant
for twenty years.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Want to.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Know sometimes, Yeah, didn't have like your wife is that
was his whole thing. I want to be like Horatio.
You never even had any kind of onboard mobility, you
know what I mean? Just what do you think? Why
do you think I left you? Blake? That's going to
do it for this installment of what is trending for April? First,
let me know if there's any good April Fools things
(23:55):
going out there, you know, anyone doing any fun stuff.
Everything I've read or is just really just love effort stuff.
And again, and I've grown tired of the April Fools
because we live in such a foolish time. Until tomorrow
we will have a brand new episode. So please be
patient until then. Uh and until then, take care of yourselves,
take care of each other, get your vaccines. Don't you
(24:15):
know this? How I still don't do nothing about white
supremin and supremacy. Okay, don't do nothing about transphobia, don't
do nothing about xenophobia. Be one of those good people
who say, hey, what the fuck do you just say?
Broll Shut the fuck up, you ignorant motherfucker, all right,
because look, more people think like that than you'd actually
expect or believe. I completely fucked the landing on that
(24:36):
and especially it was beautiful. Thank you, thank you. I
didn't burn my hand on the fire, folks, No you didn't.
That was fine, That was cool, that was different. All right, y'all.
We will talk to you tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
The Daily Zeite guys as Executive produced by Catherine Law,
co produced by Bae Wang, co produced by Victor Wright
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Co written by JM McNab, and edited and engineered by
Brian Jay Freeze
Hey everybody, and welcome to this afternoon edition of I
Need six Trends? I think? Is that what I put yep? No,
but I put yep exactly. I need to take what
it is because we were talking about beauty and the
Beast I need six eggs, and I didn't know about
the meme anyway. Shout out to you, Kurt, do that
(00:21):
on television for that short show title. Anyway, We're going
to tell you what's trending today, Wednesday, April first, No
April fools shit here. Like I said this morning's episode,
I don't have the fucking energy, but somehow I do
have the energy to be joined by this very specific
guest co host who's an April Fool's joke in and
of themselves. The hell what the heck? Fucking mystery? I
(00:45):
don't think? Are you kidding? Sometimes feels like an attack
on my sanity. Welcome Blake Wexler, Miles.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I've been tricked forty times today and it's not even
two o'clock.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I haven't read anything even, have you know, but for
have you read anything that's been a like a April
Fool's joke?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
The most low stakes trick where it was like this
comedy club got a new location in a place, but
there was no stakes to it whatsoever. It's like, hey,
we've opened a new location and I'm like, oh, congrats,
and I'm like, god, damn it. And it's also like, well,
this isn't really Yeah, yeah, I just felt like a fool.
(01:27):
Those were the steaks my my self esteem. She's never
been lower on a day like this.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, there's not a lot of stuff I saw. I'm
just like, looking, now, Oh, we've got a kim chi dessert.
I'm like, I don't know that that could be good.
I've had are like ice cream before. Someone are doing
water flights. It's and it's all boomers like, and they're like,
come to our business. We were doing water flights. I'm like,
this shit is not fucking funny.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I told my wife, who's very pregnant with twins, that
street sweeping has been suspended so we don't have to
like move the car tomorrow, which is true, and she goes,
you're trying to trick me, and I'm like, why would
I trick you.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
It's so hard for you to get up and downstairs.
That's wait, why is it suspended? There? Like a h
because there's good. Good Friday is Friday? Maybe? Oh right? Sure?
Yeah yeah, I think yeah, as on Wednesday. Yeah, let's
make this good Friday. I mean, does it good? Yeah? Okay, anyway,
(02:30):
what are you doing for the Memorial of Jesus Christ?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I'm doing stand up, which I like doing stand up
on these weird because it's not a it's not a Christmas,
it's not a Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
You know, he's doing shit for Easter. No.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Now in this city, it's filled with heretics and Charlatan's,
you know, they don't New Jersey.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Get the bunny ship out of the way. Yeah, what
are you doing anything? No, be honest, you have to
answer the hard question. Just to see when my grandparents
were alive, Yeah, you know what I mean. But because
they were you know, they were god fearing, good, good,
upstanding Christian. Of course I will go. Because also my
grandfather would buy so many Dove chocolates that like we
would just eat out of the bag and like watch
(03:13):
TV and we're like, yeah, I don't know, but now no,
not so much. No one, no one is taking up
that mantle. And also like my cousins like live all
over the place. Now this you know, the family too much.
Has the family un It's just been broken up, you know,
and not even not even the Resurrection of Christ can
bring it back anyway. What's trending today on April first, Well,
(03:35):
here's one. So tonight NASA's Artemis two is scheduled to launch.
Hopefully that's not a weird April fool's joke and it
will be launching. But it is going to be launching tonight.
This is going to be the first crude lunar mission
since nineteen seventy two. But it's not They're not landing
and they're not going to be like sea walking on
(03:56):
the Moon. They're just going to be doing a fly by,
a lunar fly by, which, yeah, I guess that's cool.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
It's good to show your face network a little bit,
you know, show people you're still around, show the galaxy.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
We're still Here's up, guys, guys, good, all right, man,
I'm just gonna loop around real quick and just send
this thing on back to Earth. See. Uh, but yeah,
they're just gonna go again looping around. We all remember
the diagram from Apollo thirteen, where's like it went around
and then straight back. And I guess you know some
(04:28):
experts have been like this, how's that orion capsule heat shield?
Because the Artemis one heat shield cracked and cratered with
unexpected damage. Lord, so you know, people are a little
bit like, you know, maybe let's check check in on that,
check in on that. There are some people former NASA
astronaut was like, what they're talking about doing is crazy.
(04:49):
But I don't know what's the cruise situation. How many
seats we have in the four four four seats? One perfect?
You know what one toilet seat is now? And that
is actually the reason only reason I'm really interested in this,
because there's somebody who would go to the Smithsonian Aerospace
Museum every time I would go by the Space Shuttle
(05:10):
thing and look at the fecal bag and laugh. I
don't know why. That's without fail, Her Majesty knows when
we go in there, She's like, you're gonna go and
fucking take a picture of the thing that says fecal bag,
aren't you? When I go, No, No, that's an old
that's an old picture. Hey, but why don't you just
go check out this This little World War two plane
really crack out to the bathroom really quickly. Anyway, so
(05:34):
I'm immature. I like to take pictures of things that
say the word fecal on it, but this one, this
artem is too. This ain't your grandpa's space shitter. Because
for the this is a first for a NASA lunar mission.
Because in the Apollo program, the and I think we
remember this from Apollo thirteen, they were just pissing whatever
(05:54):
just right there in front of everybody. There was no privacy.
And then yeah, they popped into little plastic back fecal bags, bags,
legs and anyway. So it's been a few few years
since the last mission and they've updated it. Now they've
got this real nice toilet on there, and this is
(06:17):
the first. The crew said, quote, we're pretty fortunate as
a crew to have a toilet with a door on
this tiny spacecraft. Because now, I don't know if you
see this picture here, it looks like a shop back basically,
but and with like a big blue hose. The hose
is for peepee, and then the top tank is where
you do poo poo, And yeah, could you imagine just
(06:39):
like it goes? Oh my, gotcha, bring in this silly astronaut.
There's no fucking gravity, man, now, it's just floating loose
in the fucking capsule right now. But yeah, there's apparently
a long flexible urine host and each astronaut will have
their his or her own funnel for that hose to
(07:01):
keep things sanitary. Urine goes down the hose with airflow,
doing this shepherding work rather than gravity. Again, breaking news
and things I felt like I had to talk about
because I love space be and space poo.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Shepherding work is so it's so good as a terminology
for what you just described where because what's the altermais.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Go down the piss. Yeah, it eats the piss. These
straight up eats the piss using air And then it's like,
you know what I mean, this work by airflow. Yeah, yeah,
probably good to have people who are science writers science
communicators is kind of thing. Otherwise you can get me
(07:41):
being like the ship goes in the shop back or something. Anyway,
So there's that news. Also a lot of there's a
lot of Trump news going on. Many many things are
to start tonight. Apparently he's giving an address about Iran
this even now what will he say? Who fucking knows?
(08:03):
It will probably do some combination of we're totally winning
the war, and we are done mixed with and that's
why life is going to be tremendously difficult for the
foreseeable future in terms of energy costs, human suffering, and
failed leadership. He may also publicly break up with NATO.
(08:23):
That's a thing he's been threatening to do with like
a lot more intensity over the last few days, because
I think now maybe in his mind he's like, yeah,
the reason I'm failing this war I should have never
began is because NATO won't back me to go even
deeper into the mistake. Yeah, Yeah, that's it. So it's
their fault, actually, and I'll break up with them. It's
(08:46):
probably gonna be some combination of something about upsetting maybe
the global order of post World War two order, and
maybe energy costs. And that's because some of our allies,
or I guess for allies at this point, I don't
even know what they are at this point, but they
are saying things to their people that would imply this
(09:07):
won't this won't be a sort of world uniting moment
or address that Trump is going to give. There was
right before The Telegraph published an exclusive interview with Trump
in which he said he was considering pulling out of NATO.
Here Starmar, Prime Minister of the UK, all but confirmed
the beginning of the end of the quote special relationship
between the US and UK. He said, it's increasingly clear
(09:29):
that the UK's quote long term national interest requires closer
partnership with our allies in Europe and with the European Union.
This also comes after we heard that the UK isn't
even sharing much intelligence with the US anymore because Trump
is fucked in his mind and a weirdo that can't
be trusted. And then also in Australia, their Prime minister
(09:51):
also told the nation. You know the Australian's got to do.
They beat and not use more fuel than necessary if possible,
switch to you using public transport. So we don't know.
I don't know. It sounds like everyone's they're definitely preparing
their people for like guy ship, I think, shit's shit's fucked,
Shit's fucked, Shit's fucked and it and this time it's
(10:12):
actually kind of not our fault. It's really all it's
it's pretty much Net and Yahoo and Trump that have
done this. So I just want to prepare you. Please
don't put this at my.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Feet, do you remember when he created that super cool
group with the worst countries that could like apply to
be in his own special group by paying X amount.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Of the Board of Peace.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, yeah, the Board of Peace. Excuse me. Yeah, And
it's such a great name. I it escaped my small mind.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Ye.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
But no, I think like that's an easy replacement for NATO.
I think the Board of Peace that you can apply.
I don't know if applications are still open. I think
maybe we could apply, and perhaps we don't have them,
like we don't don't, Yeah, damn it. And maybe there's
a junior Board of Peace.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, maybe there's exactly like a like a development program
for that. There's also another shady thing, uh that was
pointed out. A mysterious trader buys fifty three million dollars
I believe in crypto. Yeah, so I don't. I don't.
I don't know what's going on here, you know, worth
(11:15):
of ether. So some trader bought fifty three million dollars
worth of ether And now people are gonna be like,
is this something to do with what Trump is saying?
Because we all know all of these announcements typically have
some like part of like market manipulation in it.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
And there's always some insider trading preceding these, you know,
like it is funny. As as much as the UK's
response is like, hey, you know, we're actually going to
focus on in our European relations, that's as much as
an indicator. It's there's all these indicators of all the
stupid shit. I say, yeah, because everybody doesn't.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Uh so we'll see I don't know, we'll embrace ourselves
for some kind of update. We won't know. Elsewhere Trump did,
he's taking a up a couple lls. The bribe Bunker
aka the Trump White House ballroom has been indefinitely halted.
(12:08):
So you know this is he's been doing like some shit.
He's like, yeah, I owned the White House. You do not.
You are literally not the owner of the White House.
I know that people can do have done stuff to
the Rose gardens, but being like I'm bulldozing this thing
and now I'm going to make a cool miniature golf
course under the you can't do any of that shit again.
He was telling people is the greatest ballroom people have
(12:30):
ever seen, and reality it was just a collection plate
for bribes from like wealthy donors and tech companies like palanteer.
It also turns out it wasn't even really a ballroom
because recently, I mean, people knew there was going to
be an underground military complex, but Trump really like brought
out the photos like it's gonna be great. Look at this,
that Pentagon really wanted this underground military bunker complex, and
(12:52):
so you know, maybe we're gonna do it. But that's
bullshit because you know, Trump is obsessed with bunkers and
been getting in his little high because if you remember,
in the summer of twenty twenty, Trump was so terrified
of BLM protests that he hid in his own little
bunker with a cyanide capsule in his mouth just in case,
just in case the equality seeking hordes breached the gates,
(13:14):
and in which case he would, I'll fucking go. I
don't give a shit. They're not going to get me.
So I think this bunker is just a manifestation of
his own fear of like accountability.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Denise start complaining too. Where he goes well, was supposed
to be a secret. Yeah, No, one want just to
know about this.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Until some very unpatriotic people, that's what he said, Some
very unpatriotic people decided to like, squeal on me. I
think I have a clip here, yeah, here he is.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Now the military is building a big complex under the ballroom,
which has come out recently because of a stupid lawsuit
that was filed. What the military is building a massive.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Complex holding this big thing like it's that's under construction.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
We're doing very well.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
So where schedule the bar was struggling to hold the
weight of that? Yeah, I mean piece of paper. Hey, hey,
that's phone board, you know what I mean? Boards that
could be a pound and a half. Oh easily. Dare
I say a pound and three quarters? Okay, yeah, I
mean that's a lot. That is a lot. But hey,
it is what it is. So a judge has just
(14:19):
granted the National Trust for Historic Preservations request for a
preliminary injunction that essentially just halts construction on the four
hundred million dollar I soar. And this is like in
the decision, the judge said, quote, no statute comes close
to giving the president the authority he claims to have.
The President of the United States is the steward of
(14:40):
the White House for future generations of first families. He
is not, however, the owner. And there's an exclamation point
in there, so thanks, he means business.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Now, did they have to halt construction on the whole
thing or just the bunker?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Like?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (14:55):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
It's like, bro, stop function all that hole in the ground.
What do you doing? Stop it? Stop it, stopt it out.
It's like that Michael Jordan PSA about drug. Stop it,
stop it, you know what I mean? Just knock it off?
All right? Then let's say, actually, just take a quick break.
We'll come back with one other Trump l uh, and
(15:16):
then a new Charlie Kirk conspiracy. Oh my god, pez
oh tase, you know what I mean. You don't know
what it could be. Tune in to find out right
after this and we're back. Trump also has been told
(15:42):
to eat shit for with Actually no, I guess that's
what it is, okay. Trump has a judge has agreed
to permanently block the Trump administration from implementing a directive
of his where he's like end all funding for NPR,
the public broadcasting service otherwise known as PBS. It's bad.
(16:05):
US District Judge Randolph Moss ruled that his executive order
is unlawful and unenforceable, and said the First Amendment right
to free speech quote does not tolerate viewpoint discrimination and
retaliation of this type. It is difficult to conceive of
clear evidence that a government action is targeted at viewpoints
that the president does not like and seeks to squelch.
(16:27):
So great, I love the Again, we have another decision
from a judge where essentially, like what they write is like, dude,
what the fuck are you even talking about here? What
do you mean? No, you know, dude, what And I'm
sorry that it takes someone to sue you for me
to have to come in and say that, But yeah,
you can't. You can't do that. Shit so good.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
It's every everything that everything he does legally is like
the equivalent of a person being like, hey, do not
touch that open flame, don't put your hand on that
open flame. But this one, yeah, this one right here,
I can put my hand on the open flame, gets burnt,
hand recoils. Most most presidents would not touch it.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Oh you said I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I'll probably take your word for everyone says I can't
do that legally, and no, he's just it's the only
check in balance that works on him so far. Sometimes
right the first administration, people are like, hey, don't touch
that flame.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Remember, remember not remember you burn your little hand. Remember
you burn your.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Tiny, tiny, weeny whittle fingers, tiny weak, baby like hands
that couldn't even palm a tennis ball. If you no,
that's how small your hand is.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
And you turn. That's why he likes golf so much. Yeah, exactly,
I can ween sea whittle. I can wear bagyass gloves.
He's like, I can fit into a magnum watch this ship.
Bag you again just all like wind sock. Yeah what
(18:01):
winds damn, mister president, kind of fucking besides, you go,
that's a youth medium. Yeah, man, and you got all
that room you tried, have you tried just tying off
the tips? You got a lot of slack tie him
off actually some sort of rubber band situation. Yeah. Yeah.
And then I think with this administration, everybody so telling him,
(18:24):
he's like, dude, what's even fire? Dude? That last one
was a fluke, bro, you got it this time. Put
your fucking whole head in the flame. Man, you're gonna
be fine.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
That was the wrong fire. That's weird fire. That you
told me that was weird fire. That was weird fire.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Let me see that. Oh yeah, that was weird this. Yeah,
you're good, You're good. This is a toll hand in there,
so yeah, both of Again the I think Trump also
responded to this with more whining and stuff. And that's that's,
that's all there is, because otherwise he has to take
his naps and not pay attention to anything else going on.
And then finally, an alleged bombshell in the Charlie Kirk trial,
(19:05):
Tyler Robinson, the alleged shooter, his lawyers revealed in court
filings that the ATF quote could not conclusively connect a
bullet fragment recovered during the autopsy to the rifle found
near this scene. What handis? Owens another lover and really
(19:26):
one of the great disseminators of Charlie Kirk conspiracy theories,
had to share the news with many other people, and
I don't know, they're just basically saying, like, see, there's
no convincing evidence. Okay, this is again there's probably an
inside job. But again, this is one of those moments
(19:47):
where experts are like, yeah, there's a thing called the
CSI effect. Maybe you've heard about people think they know
everything about shit because they've seen CSI. Forensic analysts can
easily fail to match bullets to guns for a variety
of reasons, including fragment damage, lack of markings on the bullet,
(20:08):
a limited sample size, or other problems. So this isn't
the kind of gotcha thing that Candice Owans thinks, because
they're like, yeah, this this happens a lot. It happens
like quite a lot. Even three years ago, the Maryland
Supreme Court actually ruled that quote ballistics evidence is not
supported by science. So yeah, no longer, because you know
(20:31):
it used to being like in CSI, they're like, let
me see the bullet. It matches your gun exactly. Motherfucker,
you're fucking cooked. And I think because of that, people
are like, oh huh, And so therefore they read a
headline that the bullet doesn't match, and now it allows
whatever Candae Owans wants to do. You have you seen
(20:52):
the state of candae owns right now, because she is
in a like five way cage match with everybody over
at the Daily Wire and many other people because like
everyone's breaking off into their own little corners.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
She was also recently diagnosed with terminal CSI effect where
she has it and it's as weeks to live and.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
She's always wearing sunglasses like cooking David Caruso and CSI
Miami just always just ripping them off as any piece
of punctuation.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, be it a comma. Even she takes them off.
You see an ellipses. Subscribe to my channel. Yeah hell yeah,
fuck yeah man, love that.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Did you watch CSI even? How couldn't you? You could?
You could not watch it? That you did watch it?
I watched it so much, and I thought I was
being educated at the time. I was like interesting, interesting,
interesting in my mind.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Cs I was so big in my mind, like there's
something that you assumed to be true and you just
never confirm it. Where in my mind David Caruso was
the star of every blockbuster movie.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Also, you know, like that's where I thought his career was.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Or it's like, yeah, if he's in the biggest this
is the greatest show of all time, he must be
you know, gotten the roll over DiCaprio, Like he must
be the most sought after guy in all of entertations.
But it was kind of just that show. Every once
in a while you'd see him pop up in something
you'd be like, oh, fuck, he's about to do it. Yep, yep,
you better not be wearing sunglasses, so I want people
(22:22):
to pay attention to the rest of the movie.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
There are times, back to him, I'd go to Japan,
like in the summer, and there would be the like
in the middle of the night you would get blocks
of like American TV shows, and sometimes like I would
just be like, because you know, i'd be there for
like a summer, like with my mom. How old were you,
probably like teenager, like whenever the show first came out,
maybe like nineteen or I don't even know what. Yeah, yes,
(22:46):
I me, let's see, so it started two thousand and two. Okay, yeah,
this tracks so yeah, watching that because I'm like being
homesick and that's all I'd watch. And that really fucking
pulled me in to the point where I think, again,
I'm ashamed at how much I thought Horatio Caine was
telling me the truth about anything. But here we are, Here,
(23:07):
we are, we are. Now I'm hosting a podcast and
also saying outright lies total and taking your glasses on
and off. Yeah, with the confidence of Lieutenant Horatio Caine. Yes,
all right, well that's going to do it for you.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Never got a promotion, Horatio can I was just lieutenant
for twenty years.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Want to.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Know sometimes, Yeah, didn't have like your wife is that
was his whole thing. I want to be like Horatio.
You never even had any kind of onboard mobility, you
know what I mean? Just what do you think? Why
do you think I left you? Blake? That's going to
do it for this installment of what is trending for April? First,
let me know if there's any good April Fools things
(23:55):
going out there, you know, anyone doing any fun stuff.
Everything I've read or is just really just love effort stuff.
And again, and I've grown tired of the April Fools
because we live in such a foolish time. Until tomorrow
we will have a brand new episode. So please be
patient until then. Uh and until then, take care of yourselves,
take care of each other, get your vaccines. Don't you
(24:15):
know this? How I still don't do nothing about white
supremin and supremacy. Okay, don't do nothing about transphobia, don't
do nothing about xenophobia. Be one of those good people
who say, hey, what the fuck do you just say?
Broll Shut the fuck up, you ignorant motherfucker, all right,
because look, more people think like that than you'd actually
expect or believe. I completely fucked the landing on that
(24:36):
and especially it was beautiful. Thank you, thank you. I
didn't burn my hand on the fire, folks, No you didn't.
That was fine, That was cool, that was different. All right, y'all.
We will talk to you tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
The Daily Zeite guys as Executive produced by Catherine Law,
co produced by Bae Wang, co produced by Victor Wright
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Co written by JM McNab, and edited and engineered by
Brian Jay Freeze
The Daily Zeitgeist News
Hosts And Creators
Jack O'Brien
Miles Gray
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