April 2, 2026 • 25 mins
Becca and Tanya are ready to help more Scrubbers with some questionable advice!
How should you react to an ex’s flirty comments on an Instagram post? And are you absolutely sure you want Becca and Tanya’s help with a baby name??
Plus, the search for the best “harmless” April Fool’s pranks.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Bea Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast. Hello everybody,
we are scrubbing in. Nah.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Did you think rapril Fool's Day? Oh no, I know.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Haley's not a big prank gal.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, neither am I?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah, I take that fun to brank.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I know, which is why Robby always does it.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
You're actually both fun to prank, but Haley gets more
like mad at me and you just go like like,
I throw a little fit you and then you move on. Yeah,
so it's more it's more worth it to do to
save it for you than Haley. But no, I do
love a prank.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So hope you all stayed prank free yesterday. I hope
you were on alert.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Hope you were pranked or got to pranks somebody. What's
the fun harmless prank? It's just where is the line?
Where do you draw the line of harmless?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I don't enjoy like the like serious.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Like remember when I told you Gypsy Roses with Pete Davidson.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Right, harmless, harmless? And I believed it? Yeah? And who
can't get who can't that guy gets everybody? I'm like
trying to find the photos. She got me good. I
was like, I adoptate my trending report.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Yeah she really got me with that. But that's harmless.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Harmful is like when someone's tends to be hurt, yeah,
or sick or you know that type of stuff. If
it lasts longer than an hour and someone's in hours,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I mean that was again harmless. If you told me
that you're sick for an hour, I'd be so pissed.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
AnyWho, any moving on?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Well, we are happy passover, Happy Passover. We have a
Dear Bonia episode today, so we can just jump right
into it, shall we. Yeah, I'm feeling advicey okay, right
from anonymous.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
I'm a day one scrubber looking from some advice. I
broke up with my ex about five months ago. I
learned he is seeing someone. We were together for six years,
lived together, just grew apart, became more roommates than partners.
We had many talks about if things never changed, and
I finally reached my breaking point, I moved out. We
broke up because he owns that house. I'm thirty one.
He's thirty eight. We're still friends. We talk occasionally, which
(02:40):
is how I find out he's seeing someone. I'm happy
for him, but I still love him and I want
him to be happy. I'm also sad and upset that
he has moved on so quickly. Any advice on how
to get through this. I'm moving into an apartment this
weekend to live solo for the first time ever, without
a roommate or a partner, trying some of that modern
woman energy. Thank you love the pod so much. You
guys bring a smile to my face. Make me laugh
(03:00):
every episode.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
You know what I'm hearing in this. She's not upset
that she's not with him. She's upset that he moved on.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I don't want your body, but I hate to.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Think about you with somebody else. Yeah that songs.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah, it's like you. He wasn't actually your person that
you want to spend your life with, but you weren't
ready to see him move on. And the thing is,
I always hear these stories about how like when men
break up or divorce or lose their wives or whatever
it is, they always quickly find a woman. Because I
(03:38):
think this is just my opinion. I think men need.
I think men depend on women more than women depend
on men.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Have you seen the stats? Mark, I might need to
do a little quick factor.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
They say that like married men live live like ten
years more or something, but single women live longer.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah. And I saw this TikTok.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
It's something like that.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I'm gonna derailed from this a little bit, but it's
still the same kind of concept. I saw this TikTok
where this girl was saying that why do so many
women who either divorce their husbands or lost their husbands
say like they would never get married again. And it's
and then and then you talk to men and they're
like immediately trying to like find another woman who can
(04:20):
you know, either companion or take care of them. And
she was like, women feel like it seems as though
women feel a sense of freedom if they've been in
a long term marriage or that they don't want to
enter back into that as opposed to men feel like,
I my life is so much less without a woman
in my life.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, it is interesting, It is interesting. I think it
just depends on like the dynamic of your relationships, and
like I think the like thinkership, the old school partnership
where like the woman like takes care of everything. She
takes care of the kids, she takes care of the house.
She's like takes on that mental load. I do feel
like at least like modern relationships seem a little bit different.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I agree. I think there the goal is for a
more equal partnership, whereas I think that was more like
the wives catering to the women, catering to the men
and taking care of the kids in the house and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Like I know, there's like we have like a couple
married friends. When the wife like goes out of town,
she has to leave like minute by minute instructions of
like everything in terms of like the kids and the
house and this and that and like what to make
for this meal. And when I leave Robbie, I'm like, yeah,
you know, like and he gets handle it. And if
(05:38):
he leaves like I can handle it, He's not leaving
me instructions, you know what I mean. So it's just
like we both kind of have like that same mental load.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Mark, do you agree with that statement? As a man?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I was doing research, and I'll give you the results
of my research and then we can explore that further.
Both married men and married women live longer than single
men and single women, but the longevity gap is shorter
with women. Men live a lot longer, married women live
a little longer. Got it, Okay, So the question is
men are more reliant on women than vice versa.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Well, like the man if people. If a man and
a woman are in a relationship and they split up,
it's normal for a man to seek out the relationship
with a woman faster than a woman to move on to.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Seek that relationship because the guy doesn't know how to
do anything. Yeah, he literally has no idea how to
operate any machines in his house. He doesn't know how
to make himself a sandwich. Like he's really lost. So yeah,
I believe that's true.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Yeah, So, Anonymous, what I'm here to say is that
I don't think this was something that was against you
or how much love he had for you. I think
he's just seeking out the comfort of having a woman
in his life, and I think he probably would have
stayed in the relationship with you if you had been
willing to stay in there totally, I think. But I
think that you are entering one of the most exciting
(06:55):
seasons of your life, having your own place, getting it
to be exactly what you want, keeping it the way
that you want, and getting to explore what that looks
like to be single and ready to mingle.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's such an exciting season of life. And like I
think back on my when I didn't have roommates and
I lived in my apartment by myself, and I got
to like decorate it how I wanted and do everything
how I wanted in that place. Like I just I
think of it very fondly. So it is very exciting
time you're entering. And you know what they say, like
when you're a swimmer, what you should just swim, swim,
(07:29):
keep swimming in your lane because the minute you look
to your left or the minute you look to your right,
you're losing the race. So stop looking at your ex
and whoever he's with, stop looking at whoever, keep in
your own path and you'll get there faster. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Well executed.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And I was a little nervous. Yeah that was well done.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Wait again, anything I know it's things?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, all right, Anonymous says, hello, back a time your
mark and Eastern I became a scrubber last year. The
recommendation of a friend of loved every episode would you
tell your partner if an ex commented on a selfie
you posted. I posted a selfie of myself at the
beach last week, and a couple of days later, my
ex commented with fire emojis and hope you're doing well.
(08:13):
I haven't and don't plan to respond, but I posted
another selfie. He commented with fire emojis. Again. This is
an ax I dated for almost a year, and we
had it on good terms. I've been with my current
boyfriend just over a year. Haven't heard from my ex
until now. I think it's pretty innocent. But should I
mention it? I have no plans to respond. I don't
think it's a big deal if I keep ignoring it.
I think the girlies often post selfie so I was
(08:34):
just wondering if you ever experienced anything similar. Would love
your thoughts. Thanks for bringing the sunshine every week.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I would almost just bring it up as like, oh,
so and so keeps he like keeps sending me fire emojis.
I would just make it seem like you're not trying
to like hide it. But I also it's.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Like, see, I feel like commenting on an Instagram to
tell him feels.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Is I can't tell if it's a direct message comment or.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
No, I think she's saying, like commenting with fire emojis,
like yeah, but under the impression of this is just
like publicly, like under.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Her phone, it's a commenting on her her like story,
so it's like private because if you can see it,
it's like yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
If it's like on the photo on the grid and
it's public. And I wouldn't say it to him because
I feel like it's like you're trying to get a
rise out of him.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
And if he's like, wait, why is he commenting fire?
Be like, I don't know, why is he doing that.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I did this when I started dating Robbie because I
had like a an ex that would kind of text
me every once in a while, but like nothing flirty
or anything. But I would tell Robbie he could care less,
So I say, tell him if it's privates, if it's
a private message, I would just say tell him. And
then if he just like does not care, then.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Just stop, yeah, because it's like you're.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Doing the right thing and like but then eventually like, yeah,
who cares.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
If it's public, don't even say anything. If it's private,
be like I don't He keeps dming me just want
to show you like I have no right. I'm not
even responding.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yeah, remember when to get Robbi's attention.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Those were those like my het, I mean to what extent?
Like what else did I do you get? D I
had a mail leg in my photos?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
The way we were just like Robert, we need Robert,
good old Robert the best. You know, he always called
me He'll calment here and there on mine things with
me and Haley, And.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
You know, explaining that to Robbie was like really difficult,
because yeah, it just made me seem so insane, like
truly insane, like having just like having to like verbalize that.
Like he's like, where where'd you go? I'm like, oh,
(10:58):
that wasn't actually me. And then when I told him
it was Tory Marldy that sent me the photo, he goes,
how did you get it from her? I was like,
I saw that she was in the mountains and I
asked her to do it for me. He's like, oh
my god, that's so embarrassing. It's nothing nothing I would
(11:20):
recommend anybody do. But you know, we have our ups
and we have our downs.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
It did what it needed to do.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
It did it?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Did it?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
You have to realize every choice has a consequence, and
you got what you needed from that, but the consequence
was having to explain yourself after.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
The fact, and it was quite embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Multiple we have someone needs home making choosing a baby
name so fun to do when we come back. We're back, Yeah, Mark.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Anonymous, I scrubbing and fam, I need to help choosing
my baby girl's name. I have two names that adore
and I really feel good about both of them, which
makes it extra hard. I want to hear your preference.
I have a daughter named Wren w R E N
like the bird Wren, and her baby bird Ren is
a bird and her sister is on the way. Do
(12:38):
you guys like the names? Here we go. These are
the two names. Get ready brace yourselves here. They are
Blair or Roamy. I'm gonna spell them for you. Blair
b l A I R E or Roamy r O
M E E. Thanks guys, Love you Bye.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
JoJo's little girl is Romy Blair.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, Uh, that's very weird. Yeah, so strange.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Strange that these are the two names.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I thought her. Oh, Rogers is the last name?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah, Romy Blair Rodgers.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, because I was like, I thought, I thought she
did the row row like Jojo to be. Do you
get what I'm saying, Like JoJo's name is Jojo and
her daughter's romy rogers row row. Yeah, I thought she
did that on purpose, But I don't think she did.
Oh yeah, AnyWho, I like the name. I love the
(13:31):
name Romyn romy Blair because I feel like romy. I
feel like I know a lot of romy babies.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Romy is. I've seen a lot. There's a it's a
popular name. Yeah, it's so cute. I'm so fell this
way romy.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
So I'm my instinct is to say Blair, Blair.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
And Wren, Ren and Blair a cute together.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Love Blair, and I'll tell you why. Oh no, I'm old.
We got a factor that is Blair Witch Project Blair Witch,
Blair from the Fact Life, Blair from Gossip Girl. One
of those are great, like.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Blair is iconic.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
No, I feel like all of those Blairs are kind
of snobby. Not Blair Wedge, but Blair from Gossip Girl
and Blair from the Facts of Life.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
No Blair from Gossip Girls.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Maybe I'm wrong.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I love I actually love both, but I'm like, well,
don't you just do both?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
What about blow me?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Well, I can think of why not me.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Rare? Combine them? You see what I did? Roamy and
Blair Rare not good? Rare and wren is so cute?
Come on, No, I think she wants more.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
No, she's shaking her head.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I really think Blair and wren Is looks really cute.
I feel it feels really cute together.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Better than blow me. I'll give you that one.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Blow Me's crazy.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
By the way, Romy is nine hundred and twenty six
on the top names, so that's not it's not I
know you're seeing a lot of babies, but it's not
overly popular.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
I followed well Jojo, and then another girl I follow
named her baby Romy.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
And another girl I know that I've named her baby that,
and then another person named Remy. There's like many Remis
and Romy's. I think it might just be a tad
too many.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
No. When when Jojo told me Romy, I was like,
that's Romy Rogers. Yeah, just insane thing ever in Robro.
If she wants to go to last name, actually yeah,
I do.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I do blow up. I do like the genes sequah
of like the last name, like flowing, you know, what
I mean literation?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah, like yeah, okay, so maybe I'm going for a
why oh right, right tough? Okay, so blow me is
out and we all my vote is Blair.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
My vote is Blair too.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
But we would like to if you want to follow
up and give a last name, just we won't even
talk about it. We'll just give you it.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
We'll just ponder and then we'll email you back. But
I also just really want to encourage some thought on
the name Rare.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
How do you spell that?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
R A w u r a r e a I
r e. It's a nightmare r a r e like rare,
as as in rare beauty, as in I'm so rare.
Why don't you? Why don't you leave me?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
What's her name? Rare?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
What is it rare? It's rare, it's rare, But what
is her name?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I love it?
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Save it for your own babies.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Then I need why.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
It's a Simon anonymous. They're all anonymous. So just factor
that is. Her husband works at normal nine to five,
but he wants to leave his job become a cop.
It's a meaningful career, but she's worried about the safety risks,
the schedule changes and we currently spend our evenings together
and we're going to lose that. We also live with
his mom because he's an only child with a single
(17:10):
mother and he feels responsible for her. If he starts
working nights and weekends, then I'm going to be stuck
with his mom nights and weekends, which is not the
life I imagine for myself. Am I being unreasonable for
pushing back in this career change?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Love you so much, You're not being unreasonable. I think
this is a conversation that you really need to sit
down and say. I want you to feel fulfilled on
what you're doing. However, I need you to consider how
this is going to affect me as well. Because we
are a partnership, we live with your mom, we take
care of your mom. That's going to put a different
level of responsibility on me. I think this is just
(17:43):
a bigger conversation that isn't you not supporting him and
what he wants to do, but just being realistic as
a partner and what that looks like for you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I also understand the safety concerns that you have because
I would be totally worried about that too, Like I'd
be like, this is not what I signed up for.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, I mean I think that's what I'm saying. This
is a big conversation that's not Also, is.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
This career move bringing in more financial stability? Like I
do feel like that also factors in. You know, the
relationships are compromised.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I would just say there's compromise, but then there's you know,
like I said, taking into She's the compromise I think
is living with the mom and caring for her and
making sure she's taken care of. I think that's already
a compromise in that relationship of being like, you're an
only child and your mom's a single mom, So I'm
willing to do that with you. So this is where
(18:34):
there might need to be a compromise on his end. Yeah,
And is there any other job that will fulfill him
that has more stable hours?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Well, what if maybe he becomes a cop but mom
gets her own place. Is that a compromise or is
that rude? It makes it seem living with mom for
the rest of our life.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I don't know if she needs help.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
You know, she could be forty years old for a Yeah,
she could be forty years old, thriving could be.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
But I'm saying we don't know she needs physical Like if.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
She's eighty five and needs your constant supervision, that's different.
But if she's fifty two and like has a circle
of friends, she could get her own place.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I agree. It's just she said he feels responsible.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
I know that feels responsible, but is he actually responsible
to me?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
If somebody's moved in to kick them out feels dark?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
That seems unhealthy to me.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I agree, And maybe.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Find a place where there's a casita or like an
hour word.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Or what are you a?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah yeah, just a space that's separate.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
But like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
I don't know. I think this is a conver I
don't think you're being selfish. I don't think you're unreasonable.
I think that you're very reasonable for needing to have
this conversation.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And if he becomes a cop, you're now married to
his mom.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Mark in the jugular, Oh.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Wow, yeah, I think you know, you sit down and
really like out of what it looks like for both
of you with this job change.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Maybe you get a job change and you work nights
and weekends too, so Alicia had the same schedule.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Maybe you become a cop.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I knew we're both become a cop and then you
can work together.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Yeah. No, I think I think you just need to say, hey,
this is gonna affect big time change my life as well.
Maybe not for the positive. Yeah, but we're truly wishing
please give us an update, please.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, we love you all.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Right, one more break and then one more dear, Oh.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
My goodness, we're back.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
That we are on time for one more Banya.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Well, it's a fun one, Bree says, based on your
conversation with Jessica and Harmel, what would be five songs
that describe you as a person and five songs that
mean love to you? I love you bye? Brie?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Was that a did we talk about that?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
We talked about like songs. Remember they said they could
like play.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Oh that's why?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yeah, right, yeah, gosh, fish over there.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It was like two weeks ago, it was like a
month ago.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
It was yeah, Mark, I'm on it.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Five songs would describe me as a person and five
songs that mean love to you. I don't I don't
know that I can do both of those in the
time that we have, because I don't feel prepared. Do
you have some but jeweled I knew you were going
to say Jewel obviously, Yeah, every day, every day.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
March tenth, that's when we had Jessica andrmal In here
twenty days ago, three weeks tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
What's the difference, Yeah, but Jewel, I could do it
with a broken heart Red. Somehow these are somehow unintentionally.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Are these describe you?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Red? Come on is like peak t Rat not Nollo.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah, yeah, you're like married.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I know, but it's like the girl that feels everything
so passionately, you know what I mean, like Red the
Life of a show Girl. No, and my last one
would be Texas hold them.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
As that's right?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
No, what's the one not not text? Hold them? The
one from Lemonade that was like the big one. I
ain't sorry, I ain't sorry, Sorry, I'm sorry that's me.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
That wasn't the right key.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
So I don't remember thinking the same song define you
as a person if you don't even know what remember?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Sorry, I ain't sorry, I A'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Literally can't think of a single song right now. I
just gave you five, So I go with what just
what love means to me? What does that?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Are you gonna do? The second portion?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I have songs that mean love to you. Yeah, I'm
gonna say, uh, you got me on Taylor Swift, but
I'm gonna say you are in love by Taylor Swift.
I'm gonna say yeah, sure we'll go in daylight.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I will say bones, Maren Morris, come on love.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
You like that Digne. And this means this is like
a big deal to me because I love lyrics and song.
So what's a cold Play song? Yellow?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Oh that's too sad. Yeah it's giving sadness. But they
have that new one that's like super about love all
my love.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, maybe I'll be because you know, he says, I'll
be the greatest fan of your life.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Viva Levita. All right, I feel like I'm falling in love.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Feels like, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Falling in love. No divers time. Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I'll think more on that. But great questions. And we
all as we all, we just always hope that life
is fun and easy and that you have people around
you to support you. And if you ever need advice
and you're like, oh, I don't have anyone to turn
to that I feel safe to ask, just head on
over to the scrubbing in page.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yeah, and if you are having a bad day or
dealing with an annoying person. Just wrap yourself in that
little love cocoon and don't let that negative energy in.
Block it out, block it out, do not absorb it.
For the love of everything lovely, do not absorb anybody's
energy other than your own. Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
We love you.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Somebody I love you.
Scrubbing In with Bea Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast. Hello everybody,
we are scrubbing in. Nah.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Did you think rapril Fool's Day? Oh no, I know.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Haley's not a big prank gal.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, neither am I?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah, I take that fun to brank.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I know, which is why Robby always does it.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
You're actually both fun to prank, but Haley gets more
like mad at me and you just go like like,
I throw a little fit you and then you move on. Yeah,
so it's more it's more worth it to do to
save it for you than Haley. But no, I do
love a prank.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So hope you all stayed prank free yesterday. I hope
you were on alert.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Hope you were pranked or got to pranks somebody. What's
the fun harmless prank? It's just where is the line?
Where do you draw the line of harmless?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I don't enjoy like the like serious.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Like remember when I told you Gypsy Roses with Pete Davidson.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Right, harmless, harmless? And I believed it? Yeah? And who
can't get who can't that guy gets everybody? I'm like
trying to find the photos. She got me good. I
was like, I adoptate my trending report.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Yeah she really got me with that. But that's harmless.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Harmful is like when someone's tends to be hurt, yeah,
or sick or you know that type of stuff. If
it lasts longer than an hour and someone's in hours,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I mean that was again harmless. If you told me
that you're sick for an hour, I'd be so pissed.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
AnyWho, any moving on?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Well, we are happy passover, Happy Passover. We have a
Dear Bonia episode today, so we can just jump right
into it, shall we. Yeah, I'm feeling advicey okay, right
from anonymous.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
I'm a day one scrubber looking from some advice. I
broke up with my ex about five months ago. I
learned he is seeing someone. We were together for six years,
lived together, just grew apart, became more roommates than partners.
We had many talks about if things never changed, and
I finally reached my breaking point, I moved out. We
broke up because he owns that house. I'm thirty one.
He's thirty eight. We're still friends. We talk occasionally, which
(02:40):
is how I find out he's seeing someone. I'm happy
for him, but I still love him and I want
him to be happy. I'm also sad and upset that
he has moved on so quickly. Any advice on how
to get through this. I'm moving into an apartment this
weekend to live solo for the first time ever, without
a roommate or a partner, trying some of that modern
woman energy. Thank you love the pod so much. You
guys bring a smile to my face. Make me laugh
(03:00):
every episode.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
You know what I'm hearing in this. She's not upset
that she's not with him. She's upset that he moved on.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I don't want your body, but I hate to.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Think about you with somebody else. Yeah that songs.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah, it's like you. He wasn't actually your person that
you want to spend your life with, but you weren't
ready to see him move on. And the thing is,
I always hear these stories about how like when men
break up or divorce or lose their wives or whatever
it is, they always quickly find a woman. Because I
(03:38):
think this is just my opinion. I think men need.
I think men depend on women more than women depend
on men.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Have you seen the stats? Mark, I might need to
do a little quick factor.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
They say that like married men live live like ten
years more or something, but single women live longer.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah. And I saw this TikTok.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
It's something like that.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I'm gonna derailed from this a little bit, but it's
still the same kind of concept. I saw this TikTok
where this girl was saying that why do so many
women who either divorce their husbands or lost their husbands
say like they would never get married again. And it's
and then and then you talk to men and they're
like immediately trying to like find another woman who can
(04:20):
you know, either companion or take care of them. And
she was like, women feel like it seems as though
women feel a sense of freedom if they've been in
a long term marriage or that they don't want to
enter back into that as opposed to men feel like,
I my life is so much less without a woman
in my life.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, it is interesting, It is interesting. I think it
just depends on like the dynamic of your relationships, and
like I think the like thinkership, the old school partnership
where like the woman like takes care of everything. She
takes care of the kids, she takes care of the house.
She's like takes on that mental load. I do feel
like at least like modern relationships seem a little bit different.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I agree. I think there the goal is for a
more equal partnership, whereas I think that was more like
the wives catering to the women, catering to the men
and taking care of the kids in the house and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Like I know, there's like we have like a couple
married friends. When the wife like goes out of town,
she has to leave like minute by minute instructions of
like everything in terms of like the kids and the
house and this and that and like what to make
for this meal. And when I leave Robbie, I'm like, yeah,
you know, like and he gets handle it. And if
(05:38):
he leaves like I can handle it, He's not leaving
me instructions, you know what I mean. So it's just
like we both kind of have like that same mental load.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Mark, do you agree with that statement? As a man?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I was doing research, and I'll give you the results
of my research and then we can explore that further.
Both married men and married women live longer than single
men and single women, but the longevity gap is shorter
with women. Men live a lot longer, married women live
a little longer. Got it, Okay, So the question is
men are more reliant on women than vice versa.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Well, like the man if people. If a man and
a woman are in a relationship and they split up,
it's normal for a man to seek out the relationship
with a woman faster than a woman to move on to.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Seek that relationship because the guy doesn't know how to
do anything. Yeah, he literally has no idea how to
operate any machines in his house. He doesn't know how
to make himself a sandwich. Like he's really lost. So yeah,
I believe that's true.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Yeah, So, Anonymous, what I'm here to say is that
I don't think this was something that was against you
or how much love he had for you. I think
he's just seeking out the comfort of having a woman
in his life, and I think he probably would have
stayed in the relationship with you if you had been
willing to stay in there totally, I think. But I
think that you are entering one of the most exciting
(06:55):
seasons of your life, having your own place, getting it
to be exactly what you want, keeping it the way
that you want, and getting to explore what that looks
like to be single and ready to mingle.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's such an exciting season of life. And like I
think back on my when I didn't have roommates and
I lived in my apartment by myself, and I got
to like decorate it how I wanted and do everything
how I wanted in that place. Like I just I
think of it very fondly. So it is very exciting
time you're entering. And you know what they say, like
when you're a swimmer, what you should just swim, swim,
(07:29):
keep swimming in your lane because the minute you look
to your left or the minute you look to your right,
you're losing the race. So stop looking at your ex
and whoever he's with, stop looking at whoever, keep in
your own path and you'll get there faster. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Well executed.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And I was a little nervous. Yeah that was well done.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Wait again, anything I know it's things?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, all right, Anonymous says, hello, back a time your
mark and Eastern I became a scrubber last year. The
recommendation of a friend of loved every episode would you
tell your partner if an ex commented on a selfie
you posted. I posted a selfie of myself at the
beach last week, and a couple of days later, my
ex commented with fire emojis and hope you're doing well.
(08:13):
I haven't and don't plan to respond, but I posted
another selfie. He commented with fire emojis. Again. This is
an ax I dated for almost a year, and we
had it on good terms. I've been with my current
boyfriend just over a year. Haven't heard from my ex
until now. I think it's pretty innocent. But should I
mention it? I have no plans to respond. I don't
think it's a big deal if I keep ignoring it.
I think the girlies often post selfie so I was
(08:34):
just wondering if you ever experienced anything similar. Would love
your thoughts. Thanks for bringing the sunshine every week.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I would almost just bring it up as like, oh,
so and so keeps he like keeps sending me fire emojis.
I would just make it seem like you're not trying
to like hide it. But I also it's.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Like, see, I feel like commenting on an Instagram to
tell him feels.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Is I can't tell if it's a direct message comment or.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
No, I think she's saying, like commenting with fire emojis,
like yeah, but under the impression of this is just
like publicly, like under.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Her phone, it's a commenting on her her like story,
so it's like private because if you can see it,
it's like yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
If it's like on the photo on the grid and
it's public. And I wouldn't say it to him because
I feel like it's like you're trying to get a
rise out of him.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
And if he's like, wait, why is he commenting fire?
Be like, I don't know, why is he doing that.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I did this when I started dating Robbie because I
had like a an ex that would kind of text
me every once in a while, but like nothing flirty
or anything. But I would tell Robbie he could care less,
So I say, tell him if it's privates, if it's
a private message, I would just say tell him. And
then if he just like does not care, then.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Just stop, yeah, because it's like you're.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Doing the right thing and like but then eventually like, yeah,
who cares.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
If it's public, don't even say anything. If it's private,
be like I don't He keeps dming me just want
to show you like I have no right. I'm not
even responding.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yeah, remember when to get Robbi's attention.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Those were those like my het, I mean to what extent?
Like what else did I do you get? D I
had a mail leg in my photos?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
The way we were just like Robert, we need Robert,
good old Robert the best. You know, he always called
me He'll calment here and there on mine things with
me and Haley, And.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
You know, explaining that to Robbie was like really difficult,
because yeah, it just made me seem so insane, like
truly insane, like having just like having to like verbalize that.
Like he's like, where where'd you go? I'm like, oh,
(10:58):
that wasn't actually me. And then when I told him
it was Tory Marldy that sent me the photo, he goes,
how did you get it from her? I was like,
I saw that she was in the mountains and I
asked her to do it for me. He's like, oh
my god, that's so embarrassing. It's nothing nothing I would
(11:20):
recommend anybody do. But you know, we have our ups
and we have our downs.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
It did what it needed to do.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
It did it?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Did it?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
You have to realize every choice has a consequence, and
you got what you needed from that, but the consequence
was having to explain yourself after.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
The fact, and it was quite embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Multiple we have someone needs home making choosing a baby
name so fun to do when we come back. We're back, Yeah, Mark.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Anonymous, I scrubbing and fam, I need to help choosing
my baby girl's name. I have two names that adore
and I really feel good about both of them, which
makes it extra hard. I want to hear your preference.
I have a daughter named Wren w R E N
like the bird Wren, and her baby bird Ren is
a bird and her sister is on the way. Do
(12:38):
you guys like the names? Here we go. These are
the two names. Get ready brace yourselves here. They are
Blair or Roamy. I'm gonna spell them for you. Blair
b l A I R E or Roamy r O
M E E. Thanks guys, Love you Bye.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
JoJo's little girl is Romy Blair.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, Uh, that's very weird. Yeah, so strange.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Strange that these are the two names.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I thought her. Oh, Rogers is the last name?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah, Romy Blair Rodgers.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, because I was like, I thought, I thought she
did the row row like Jojo to be. Do you
get what I'm saying, Like JoJo's name is Jojo and
her daughter's romy rogers row row. Yeah, I thought she
did that on purpose, But I don't think she did.
Oh yeah, AnyWho, I like the name. I love the
(13:31):
name Romyn romy Blair because I feel like romy. I
feel like I know a lot of romy babies.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Romy is. I've seen a lot. There's a it's a
popular name. Yeah, it's so cute. I'm so fell this
way romy.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
So I'm my instinct is to say Blair, Blair.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
And Wren, Ren and Blair a cute together.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Love Blair, and I'll tell you why. Oh no, I'm old.
We got a factor that is Blair Witch Project Blair Witch,
Blair from the Fact Life, Blair from Gossip Girl. One
of those are great, like.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Blair is iconic.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
No, I feel like all of those Blairs are kind
of snobby. Not Blair Wedge, but Blair from Gossip Girl
and Blair from the Facts of Life.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
No Blair from Gossip Girls.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Maybe I'm wrong.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I love I actually love both, but I'm like, well,
don't you just do both?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
What about blow me?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Well, I can think of why not me.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Rare? Combine them? You see what I did? Roamy and
Blair Rare not good? Rare and wren is so cute?
Come on, No, I think she wants more.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
No, she's shaking her head.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I really think Blair and wren Is looks really cute.
I feel it feels really cute together.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Better than blow me. I'll give you that one.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Blow Me's crazy.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
By the way, Romy is nine hundred and twenty six
on the top names, so that's not it's not I
know you're seeing a lot of babies, but it's not
overly popular.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
I followed well Jojo, and then another girl I follow
named her baby Romy.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
And another girl I know that I've named her baby that,
and then another person named Remy. There's like many Remis
and Romy's. I think it might just be a tad
too many.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
No. When when Jojo told me Romy, I was like,
that's Romy Rogers. Yeah, just insane thing ever in Robro.
If she wants to go to last name, actually yeah,
I do.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I do blow up. I do like the genes sequah
of like the last name, like flowing, you know, what
I mean literation?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah, like yeah, okay, so maybe I'm going for a
why oh right, right tough? Okay, so blow me is
out and we all my vote is Blair.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
My vote is Blair too.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
But we would like to if you want to follow
up and give a last name, just we won't even
talk about it. We'll just give you it.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
We'll just ponder and then we'll email you back. But
I also just really want to encourage some thought on
the name Rare.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
How do you spell that?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
R A w u r a r e a I
r e. It's a nightmare r a r e like rare,
as as in rare beauty, as in I'm so rare.
Why don't you? Why don't you leave me?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
What's her name? Rare?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
What is it rare? It's rare, it's rare, But what
is her name?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I love it?
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Save it for your own babies.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Then I need why.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
It's a Simon anonymous. They're all anonymous. So just factor
that is. Her husband works at normal nine to five,
but he wants to leave his job become a cop.
It's a meaningful career, but she's worried about the safety risks,
the schedule changes and we currently spend our evenings together
and we're going to lose that. We also live with
his mom because he's an only child with a single
(17:10):
mother and he feels responsible for her. If he starts
working nights and weekends, then I'm going to be stuck
with his mom nights and weekends, which is not the
life I imagine for myself. Am I being unreasonable for
pushing back in this career change?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Love you so much, You're not being unreasonable. I think
this is a conversation that you really need to sit
down and say. I want you to feel fulfilled on
what you're doing. However, I need you to consider how
this is going to affect me as well. Because we
are a partnership, we live with your mom, we take
care of your mom. That's going to put a different
level of responsibility on me. I think this is just
(17:43):
a bigger conversation that isn't you not supporting him and
what he wants to do, but just being realistic as
a partner and what that looks like for you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I also understand the safety concerns that you have because
I would be totally worried about that too, Like I'd
be like, this is not what I signed up for.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, I mean I think that's what I'm saying. This
is a big conversation that's not Also, is.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
This career move bringing in more financial stability? Like I
do feel like that also factors in. You know, the
relationships are compromised.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I would just say there's compromise, but then there's you know,
like I said, taking into She's the compromise I think
is living with the mom and caring for her and
making sure she's taken care of. I think that's already
a compromise in that relationship of being like, you're an
only child and your mom's a single mom, So I'm
willing to do that with you. So this is where
(18:34):
there might need to be a compromise on his end. Yeah,
And is there any other job that will fulfill him
that has more stable hours?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Well, what if maybe he becomes a cop but mom
gets her own place. Is that a compromise or is
that rude? It makes it seem living with mom for
the rest of our life.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I don't know if she needs help.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
You know, she could be forty years old for a Yeah,
she could be forty years old, thriving could be.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
But I'm saying we don't know she needs physical Like if.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
She's eighty five and needs your constant supervision, that's different.
But if she's fifty two and like has a circle
of friends, she could get her own place.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I agree. It's just she said he feels responsible.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
I know that feels responsible, but is he actually responsible
to me?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
If somebody's moved in to kick them out feels dark?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
That seems unhealthy to me.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I agree, And maybe.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Find a place where there's a casita or like an
hour word.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Or what are you a?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah yeah, just a space that's separate.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
But like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
I don't know. I think this is a conver I
don't think you're being selfish. I don't think you're unreasonable.
I think that you're very reasonable for needing to have
this conversation.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And if he becomes a cop, you're now married to
his mom.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Mark in the jugular, Oh.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Wow, yeah, I think you know, you sit down and
really like out of what it looks like for both
of you with this job change.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Maybe you get a job change and you work nights
and weekends too, so Alicia had the same schedule.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Maybe you become a cop.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I knew we're both become a cop and then you
can work together.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Yeah. No, I think I think you just need to say, hey,
this is gonna affect big time change my life as well.
Maybe not for the positive. Yeah, but we're truly wishing
please give us an update, please.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, we love you all.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Right, one more break and then one more dear, Oh.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
My goodness, we're back.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
That we are on time for one more Banya.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Well, it's a fun one, Bree says, based on your
conversation with Jessica and Harmel, what would be five songs
that describe you as a person and five songs that
mean love to you? I love you bye? Brie?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Was that a did we talk about that?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
We talked about like songs. Remember they said they could
like play.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Oh that's why?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yeah, right, yeah, gosh, fish over there.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It was like two weeks ago, it was like a
month ago.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
It was yeah, Mark, I'm on it.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Five songs would describe me as a person and five
songs that mean love to you. I don't I don't
know that I can do both of those in the
time that we have, because I don't feel prepared. Do
you have some but jeweled I knew you were going
to say Jewel obviously, Yeah, every day, every day.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
March tenth, that's when we had Jessica andrmal In here
twenty days ago, three weeks tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
What's the difference, Yeah, but Jewel, I could do it
with a broken heart Red. Somehow these are somehow unintentionally.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Are these describe you?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Red? Come on is like peak t Rat not Nollo.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah, yeah, you're like married.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I know, but it's like the girl that feels everything
so passionately, you know what I mean, like Red the
Life of a show Girl. No, and my last one
would be Texas hold them.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
As that's right?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
No, what's the one not not text? Hold them? The
one from Lemonade that was like the big one. I
ain't sorry, I ain't sorry, Sorry, I'm sorry that's me.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
That wasn't the right key.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
So I don't remember thinking the same song define you
as a person if you don't even know what remember?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Sorry, I ain't sorry, I A'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Literally can't think of a single song right now. I
just gave you five, So I go with what just
what love means to me? What does that?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Are you gonna do? The second portion?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I have songs that mean love to you. Yeah, I'm
gonna say, uh, you got me on Taylor Swift, but
I'm gonna say you are in love by Taylor Swift.
I'm gonna say yeah, sure we'll go in daylight.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I will say bones, Maren Morris, come on love.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
You like that Digne. And this means this is like
a big deal to me because I love lyrics and song.
So what's a cold Play song? Yellow?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Oh that's too sad. Yeah it's giving sadness. But they
have that new one that's like super about love all
my love.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, maybe I'll be because you know, he says, I'll
be the greatest fan of your life.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Viva Levita. All right, I feel like I'm falling in love.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Feels like, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Falling in love. No divers time. Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I'll think more on that. But great questions. And we
all as we all, we just always hope that life
is fun and easy and that you have people around
you to support you. And if you ever need advice
and you're like, oh, I don't have anyone to turn
to that I feel safe to ask, just head on
over to the scrubbing in page.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yeah, and if you are having a bad day or
dealing with an annoying person. Just wrap yourself in that
little love cocoon and don't let that negative energy in.
Block it out, block it out, do not absorb it.
For the love of everything lovely, do not absorb anybody's
energy other than your own. Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
We love you.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Somebody I love you.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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