July 16, 2026 • 31 mins
It’s another round of Dear Banya! We try to help a Scrubber who needs advice setting boundaries with parents, we share some guidance for someone new to the WLW community, and we help a business owner dealing with a copycat!
Plus, we play the “Who Am I” game!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Happy Thursday to all who celebrate Thursday Thursday. If you're
getting to imbibe on some beverages cellar treats, do you
celebrate thirsty Thursday?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I used to really back in.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
The day before tender Donia, before tender you know what,
I really don't miss alcohol.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I hear most people feel that way.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Like I used to drink so much, just socially, you
know what I mean. Go out to dinner, have a
glass of wine. Go out to this, have a glass
of wine. Go to any soda social event, have a
you know, cocktail.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And now I'll.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Order a mocktail or A lot of places have non
alcoholic wine, and it does the trick, like I feel like,
it totally does.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Like I feel like.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I'm enjoying with everybody around me, and then I'm not
having the like annoying hangover the next day.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
M hm.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
So anyways, I'm enjoying it. Yeah, I little bit about me.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I saw this story about Brianna chicken Fry. Yeah that
is she dated. Yeah, you know she did the musician
for a while and then they had a really bad breakup.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Luke Bryan No, what did she do?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh my gosh, I can I'm literally Zach.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Sach sank No, Zach Zach Bryan. Is that Luke Bryan's brother.
They're not related, no relation.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
To Luke Bryan. Anyways, she didn't say his name, but
I would imagine it's who she was talking about. But
she said that he didn't show up for her. She
said her ex boyfriend didn't show up to something he
committed to, like performing at another concert with somebody, because
he was severely hungover. And she was like, the thing
about being hungover is you do it to yourself. Like, yeah,
(02:00):
make the choice to drink and put that into your
body knowing that you're gonna feel horrible. She's like, do
you know how many things I've done severely hungover?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
In absolute shambles?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, you can't use that. That's the one thing you
when you poison yourself, you don't get to not show up.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
So anyways, that's my take on alcohol. I I agree.
I I will drink, but I I prefer soda with
any meal that I drink, So unless I'm just wanting
the vibes to be social.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I saw Tinkx post this thing about diet coke where
she like woke up and she was like, I just
need a diet coke and I'm sorry this is the personality.
And I'm like, I just like don't have that at all.
Like diet coked meat tastes like poison, but you.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Like coke, Like you'll have a cokeke, coke.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Zero when you're a broad zero oh, or just a
straight up Coca Cola when you're really is now nowadays,
but like, yeah, like diet coke just like doesn't do it.
I feel like I'm I'm I'm like I have fomo
for like that community of people because they're so like,
you know, yeah, like I just want a French fry
and a diet coke and like or like that cigarette
(03:07):
or what is Yeah, And I just like I feel
sad that I will never have that level of like
enjoyment from that, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I cannot tell you the satisfaction of going through the
McDonald's drive through and getting a coat or doctor pepperye
coke and a French fry, a salty French fry at
around like three pm.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, like I will never find that joyful and that
makes me sad. Like I feel like there's like this
whole like community of people that.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I think you'd enjoy it. I really connect over it.
Icy cold coke with a salty fry. I think you'd
love it, you think, yeah, yeah, just like you loved
my buttered pop tart. I think you you're counting yourself
out too.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Soon before really trying or experiencing.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
But when you have a culinary chef as a husband,
it's hard to dip so low as a drive through,
you know.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I know, he goes, I'm gonna try and make chicken
nuggets from scratch for the kids this week.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
I'm like, what does that even entail?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Like that he's gonna I don't even know he's gonna
mince up the chicken, make a gluten free like not
even like put him in breadcrumbs.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Well, let's see how that turned out.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
God speed, No Dino nugs for those kids.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
No, no, no, no, no, what.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I'm just curious that se how they're gonna turn out.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm sure they'll be great.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah, we'll see.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
He's a professional. Shall we get into some deer bonia
do you want to alternate who reads?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Or do you want sure you want to take this
first one?
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Lengthy?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah. I had a baby this spring and my parents
haven't really been involved because they're full time caregivers for
my dad's mom, who has dementia. It's been hard because
they used to be our only support system, but my
husband and I have accepted that we're doing this on
our own. The problem is that whenever they visit, they
bring my grandmother. She gets over stimulated by my toddler
(04:57):
and is really mean to him. So a few weeks ago,
I told my parents they couldn't bring her to our
house anymore and that we needed to pause visits for now.
Last Friday was my final day of maternity leave. I
planned to spend it cuddling with my baby before going
back to work, but my dad showed up at my
house unannounced with my grandmother. He said he came to
help in quotations, even though he knew I had asked
(05:19):
him not to come. My mom knew he was coming
and didn't tell me. I'm honestly more upset that he
completely ignored the boundary I set than anything else. It
also felt like he took away the one day I
had been looking forward to before returning to work. When
I brought it up to my mom, somehow I ended
up feeling like the bad guy. How do I set
boundaries with parents who refuse to respect them without constantly
(05:40):
feeling guilty?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
This is tough.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
This is so complicated. Yeah, setting boundaries, like getting to
the point where you feel bold enough and fed up
enough to set a boundary is a really big deal,
you know, Like getting to that point of being able
to do that, you should feel really proud of yourself,
and then to have somebody totally ignore it and disrespect
(06:04):
it oof.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
And it's so hard because it's like those are your parents,
you know what I mean, And like you obviously respect
and you love them so much. But I feel like
sometimes when you grow up in your an adult and
then you have your own family, that your parents don't
necessarily respect that boundary as like how you want to
things that you want to do for your family, you
(06:27):
know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, it's almost like this ownership mentality of like you
have kids and you feel like you are instill forever
in charge of them, as opposed to raising them to
be independent adults who can take care of themselves and
have their own boundaries and own lives without you being
in control of how they live them. Yeah, I would
(06:48):
just I think you're just kind.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
It's just like so rude.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You literally told them not to come and to bring
your not to bring your grandmother, and they just completely
disregarded that.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I'd be so pissed.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Not only did they come, but he and brought your grandma. Yeah,
I would just have to sit them down and say, hey,
I thought I was clear, but maybe I wasn't. I
didn't communicate in a clear way, but that was that
made me feel really disrespected. And I know that y'all
are my parents, and I love you all, and I
love my grandma, but I think with her situation and
(07:21):
kind of where the babies are at, it's just too
too much going on.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
It's just it's so layered. Because now I'm thinking, like,
you obviously feel guilty if you set a boundary with
your parents, You just feel that guilt, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So I'm sure her parents.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Feel that guilt with their their mom, you know what
I mean, if like they feel guilty.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah, but does the mom want to go if she's
overwhelmed by the toddler. Does the grandma want to be
brought along?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Think so, yes, grandfathers just want to be around their
grandkids twenty four secs.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
They're like snippety and yes, yes I do. Maybe the
boundary is you say, like when you need you'll reach
out and ask for it, and maybe there's when you
feel like you have the capacity that you invite them over,
like maybe you said us specifically.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
And also like if you're still in maternity leave, this
is fresh, like you literally just like popped a baby
out yesterday. Like people need to respect and give you
a little bit of time to just like get your
wits about you.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, I think, unfortunately, you just have to have another conversation.
And I also would like to reiterate you were you
should not feel guilty. I think it's a very normal
human reaction because we care about the people in our lives.
We love our parents, we love our family, but we
also have to establish independence and protect yourself and your
(08:43):
mental health while you're postpartum, yeah, navigating life right now.
So I think you, unfortunately are going to have another
conversation with them and just say hey, I don't know,
and don't make it feel like accusatory because if they
want to be around you, you don't want to make them
feel bad for wanting to help you. And I put
that in.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Clothes, right.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But even if they don't want to help them, they
just want to see their grandkid. Like I totally get that, Yeah,
I do, But they have to respect what you say. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I think you just say, we're you know, there's just
a lot going on. Grandma is a little overwhelmed when
she comes over, and I think that that makes my
life harder. So when y'all come to help, it doesn't
make me feel less stressed. Yeah, And so maybe it's
just for the time right now, you just set a
clear boundary and let them know that y'all can bring
(09:35):
the kids to them.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I think what she's saying is like she already had
this conversation. They didn't respect us, So she's like, how
do I set boundaries who refuse with parents who refuse
to respect them?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I think maybe lock the door.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Do you might have to move, change your phone number.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Change your keys.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
I'm kidding.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I think you just said, say, like, explain why what
they did felt disrespectful and why that crossed the line
of the boundary that you set because they might not
If parents have never had boundaries and then you set
a boundary, they might not even realize they're doing it. Yeah,
so I think maybe it explained, like, hey, when I
said this, this was me like setting a boundary, and
(10:13):
when you did this, it made me feel like you
didn't hear me. So I just wanted to reiterate what
I was asking. And I'm sorry that you're navigating this.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
This is so hard, especially fresh with a new I know.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But congratulations, and I hope things get easy and less stressful.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Our next email is from a loyal fan crush is
new to w l W community. We'll get back.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
We'll get back with this.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
One nice tease, we'll choppy room for improvement, and we're back. Okay,
(11:06):
this is the next email. This one's mainly for Becca,
but I'd love to hear Tanya's opinion too. I recently
started talking to a girl who's brand new to the
WLW community and is still exploring her sexuality. I've known
I was into women my whole life, so this is
a new experience for me. She's never dated a woman
before and is understandably nervous, but she's also really flirty
(11:28):
and I'm excited to see where this could go. She
wants to start as friends and let things happen naturally. Becca,
do you have any advice for helping someone feel more
comfortable and easing those nerves without putting any pressure on them? Sincerely,
a loyal fan.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I think you the best thing you can do is
just be her friend and have fun and like, don't
don't put it like kind of I would almost let
her take the lead, because you don't want to put
pressure on her and then have that be something that
she holds against you or you know, if she's navigating
her sexuality. I didn't go through this because I basically
(12:06):
met Halen was like I bought her. I got her
like a picture frame with a small photo of us,
like within two weeks of us dating.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
That are knowing each Other's so crazy because if I
did that to Robbie, he would literally like head for
the hills.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I think Haley probably got a little scared. But I,
you know, we met and then I remember and I
don't know again, I don't know how old y'all are,
but I think I was almost thirty and I kind
of had this mentality of I've never felt this way before.
I'm not going to overthink it. I'm just gonna go
with it and see what happens. And obviously it worked out.
(12:42):
I know a lot of people are scared to be
with someone who has never been with a woman before
or is exploring that part of themselves. So I would
just be cautious and like have fun, but also, you know,
guard your heart just like you were dating anybody you know,
don't don't put everything out there, and just.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Tough.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I know it's tough because when you really like someone
and you're excited, you want to go all in. But
I would just be her friend, and I think it'll
naturally if there's something there, I think it's naturally going
to happen. But I also think if she's exploring her
sexuality or is it out or knows where she's at
in her sexuality and her that journey, I you know,
it might be that her friends don't know or her
(13:23):
family doesn't know, and that can get tricky as well.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
So I have no advice, but my only advice would
be like, don't make her feel like it's an insecurity
because I feel like sometimes people who haven't done something before,
like this person's never dated another woman. Some people have
never had like a boyfriend, right, some people are virgins.
I've never ever kicked someone. I've never kissed someone like
you know, Like, there's so many instances where this is
the case, and I feel like if they feel it
(13:50):
and they turn it into an insecurity, then I think
that could become problematic. So like, don't make her feel
like it's a big deal.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
It's a red fly.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Like people have journeys that they start, and it can
either start like you said, you've known your whole life,
or can start when they're about to turn thirty like you.
You can't fault someone for learning something new about themselves. Yeah,
and make it make her feel bad about it. But
I also think you know, you have to just like
(14:21):
anyone though, even if it was a guy, you'd want
to go slow, go at a pace that feels natural,
not put any pressure on it so that you also
don't get hurt. Yeah, but this is fun. I'd love
an update, Hi, Beca and Tanya about.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I'm not going to read what this is about just
to like tease everybody.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
No, I just dive right in. Wow, Hi Becka and Tanya,
About a year ago, I started a small business creating
and selling products that were pretty unique in my area.
One of my repeat customers became a friendly acquaintance, abought
almost everything I made and is now selling products that
almost that look almost identical to mine, right down to
(15:03):
the packaging and presentation. People have even asked if she's
selling my products. The tricky part is we share the
same friend circles, our kids will be in preschool together,
and we live in a small town, so I see
her all the time. Do I just focus on my
own business and let it go or is it worth thing?
Worth saying something before it goes any further. I thought
this is gonna be like a love star. I thought
(15:23):
this was gonna be.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Like and then we fell in love a guy.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, because there was like a guy that bought everything.
And should I look into this? I don't know. Like
part of me is like, just put your head down
and work on your business.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
But I also don't like what excellent advice.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Oh just don't don't even say your lane.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Stay in your lane. Do you know what they say swimmers?
If you're swimming in the Olympics, you.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Don't look to the rider left.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
The minute you look to your right, your left to
look at your competition. You're losing the race.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Oof.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Keep in your lane, keep your head down, keep swimming
in your lane, don't be bothered. And yeah, I know
I hate this saying, but like copying, what is this
in copying is like the biggest form.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Of flat area.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
It's annoying, but like, if it's not her, somebody else
might do it. Do you know what I mean? And
if they're not doing it, somebody else might do it.
You just gotta do you. Yeah, don't look to your
left or your tier right.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I think if anything, maybe this encourages you to try
something new or like change how yours looks, like, do
something new so that you're always evolving, because if she's
gonna keep copying you, you're going to be the first
to do it.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Maybe maybe like you can introduce like I know this
is gonna sound annoying and probably a lot of legwork,
but you got this. Maybe write a handwritten note with
everybody that buys one of your unique products, you know,
like it could be a short little note like I
hope this. Yeah, I don't know what the products are, but.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
And maybe change your packaging and presentation, like maybe you
just like do some new things that elevate, stretches you creatively,
elevates your brand, and just focus on making your product
the best it can be and coming up with new ideas.
And I understand the frustration. I too. I think anyone
in your position would be frustrated. But when people talk,
(17:18):
be like no, Like she's doing her thing and I'm
doing mine and they're similar but totally different brands.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, you know, head down, head down, don't look okay, Hi,
Becka and Tanya, we are big fans of the pod,
and we're reaching out with a request that's really close
to our hearts. Two of our best friends are WLW
and have been working up the courage to come out
to their parents. They're both nervous and could really use
(17:44):
a boost. We know their families will be so supportive,
but it's still a big moment that takes so much courage.
They're both big scrubbing in fans, and we think words
of encouragement from you all on the podcast would mean
the world to us. Whether it comes from your own
experiences or just from the heart, We would love nothing
more than to pass it along knowing they'll be listening.
We cannot wait till we celebrate them together in a
(18:05):
way that makes them both feel seen for who they are.
Thank you for everything you do. This community means so much,
with so much love, H and.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
H you tell sweet well, I just have to say
coming out is so scary and exciting, and you feel
relief and you feel all the feelings that you could
ever feel in one moment. And I think sometimes it
feels like you're coming out so many times because I mean,
(18:34):
even to this day, if someone asks me, you know, oh,
they'll see my ring and be like, oh, what does
your husband do your rings beauty? Or what is your
you know, yeah, husband do your rings beautiful? And I'm like, oh,
I'm engaged a woman. You know, there's constantly a need
to come out. But I love that you already know
their family is going to be so supportive of such
a huge deal.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Stood out to me.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Too, knowing that you have friends like you guys who
wrote in like how that is so amazing to have
that type of support that you're reaching out to a
podcast to have us to give them support. I think
there's a whole community waiting to welcome you with open arms,
and people that might be unfamiliar with it but willing
(19:16):
to learn more because they love you. I think it
gives people a chance to expand their hearts and their minds,
and you being a part of that for people is
so important, and you're so important for so many people
who are also on their journey to finding themselves and
who they love. So I just want to encourage you
and say that we love you, and we support you.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
We love you so much.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
This is a huge step and we know it's going
to go great, and that the best is you have
to come truly.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
And getting to find someone you love is the best ever,
and love yourself is the greatest gift ever.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
You know what I was thinking about.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
And this might be just like totally as a straight
woman saying this, but like, do you think that they'll
ever be a time where like you don't have to
come out like it's just like like I never had
to say it, come out and say that I was
like attracted to men, Do you know what I mean? Like,
do you think that we'll ever get to a point
where it's just like it'll you just it is, It
(20:14):
is what it is.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I think there are younger people who are.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
These moments of like I have to come out to
my parents and I have to come out to my
friends like that whole, that whole like tenseness of it
is just like not a thing anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
I mean I hope, I mean that would be the hope.
But I do think there's like younger people now they
just say like they have a crush or they like
so and so. You know, watching the prom videos of
people asking their uh their prom proposal, proposal or whatever
and it being two girls or two boys, and I
was like, oh, that's so. I can't even imagine people doing.
(20:48):
I mean, I went to a small Baptist school, but
it's amazing to see young.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Had some people my like, really, yeah, WHOA.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
So I I think people are less it's a little
more comfortable, but I think unfortunately there's a stigma and
opinion about it.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Do you think that will ever change?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I think you have to hope so right, like you
to say no feels dark, and I hope that there's
a world where you can just say I am dating
so and so.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
And it's yeah. So, I feel like there's so much
even just reading this email, like there's so much pressure
in this like coming out to the parents even though
they know. I'm like, that's like stressful.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
I know, I know it is, and especially being like
I don't know how old they are, but I know
it doesn't matter the age. But I do feel when
you're younger, well, but when you are younger and the
pressure of how people expect your life to be and right.
But yeah, I hope that there's a time where that's
not the case.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Me just with the thought provoking questions.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, it's beautiful. This last one is.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Anna about Girls Like Girls.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I'll take it over.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Yeah, it's your turn.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Day one Scrubber Year. I just wanted to tell you
all that I just saw my very first movie alone,
Girls Like Girls boo. I really wanted to support the movie,
but was having a hard time coordinating with friends, so
I just went to see it by myself. What an
incredibly beautiful, moving story. I absolutely loved it. I just
feel so proud of Haley and I'm so happy for Becca,
so happy for the love she and Becca have found.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Love.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
How supportive you are all are of each other. Proud
scrubber for life. Oh that's so sweet, Anna. I love
going to movies by myself. You do, Oh my gosh.
I love going to the movie.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Have you seen by yourself?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Name a movie, Yeah, you name it. When I lived
in San Diego, every single Tuesday there was I still
had my student ID from the one year I went
to college and I was like mid twenties at this time.
I would use my student ID and I would go
and get a seven dollars movie ticket and a free
popcorn Minnesota. Every single Tuesday, no matter what movie was out,
(23:06):
I'd go watch it.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I don't think I've ever seen a movie alone. Never,
once in my life I took.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
The best activity to do alone because you're not talking
to anybody, You're just eating your snacks and watching a movie.
I love it.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
I've never died.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I don't even I neestly even thought twice of like,
oh can I go alone? Is that awkward? I just
if I want to see a movie, I just go. No.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I don't think it's awkward. I just like it just
feels like an activity I would never do, Like solo.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
It's a perfect so loo activity.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Like if I'm going to watch a movie but myself,
I'll just stay at home, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Like, well, yeah, but if you want to see it. Well,
this was before you know, when you didn't have streaming
and stuff and you want to see a movie.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I never went to the movies until really until I
had step kids.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
And I just want to say thank you for support
because you could have just waited till it came out.
She could have for this and do it watch it
at home. But I really appreciate you fighting through and
go alone. I do too, Honestly, I would go girls
like Girls is a great movie to watch alone.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Yes it is.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
I love it. I've seen it nine times.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
That's so crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
And I've seen it a lot of on demand right now.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
I feel like I've seen it a lot of times.
And I was like, you see it twice as much
as me.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
You saw it a lot in a short span of
time too.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
I feel like I could quote it same, But I say,
a movie alone, yes, do it, do it for the
But what I want to see? Like that's the whole thing.
Like what would I want to see? What's out right now? Nothing?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I don't know what's out right now? But wait till
something that you like, a cute rom com or something.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Oh you know what movie I want to see?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
What the Calum Turner and Mansa got alone? Yeah, Like
I would wait for it to come streaming go see.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
It's so fun.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Go see it. Just so we have something to talk
about on the podcast. Do it for work?
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Okay, Okay, we're.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Gonna take a break and we're gonna come back and
we're going to do the game. It's just me and Tanya,
but we're gonna h.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Sam texting us the name. So these aren't just like
self thought names.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah, because last some'm Tanya and I played by ourselves.
I gave her a linel ritchie and she gave me
Hillary stuff. So it was a slightly unfair dynamic. So
Sam is sending us each someone of equal I thought,
I just saw yours. You saw what you're writing for me? Yeah, okay,
so we're gonna be right back and you're gonna play along.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Yep, all right, we're back and we are.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
We have post its on our head with the celebrities name,
so we're gonna get right into our questions.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
As a loser, Can I go first?
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Thanks? Am I a man?
Speaker 2 (25:51):
No am I a woman?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
No am I a woman?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Yes? Well you never know, you know, am I saying?
Speaker 3 (26:01):
No?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Am I an actress?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
No? No am I an actress? Im an actor? Yes?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Am I a singer?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Am I over thirty?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Yes? Am I a current pop star?
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Am I in movies?
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yes? Am I married?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
No? Am I in a movie this year?
Speaker 1 (26:38):
We're fact checking, we're fact checking, fact checking. I'm leaning
towards no, but I want to give you accurate information.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (26:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Oh no, not a movie this year?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
So I am a woman that's a singer. I am
a current pop star and I'm not married. Am I
dating somebody?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
No? Thanks? Okay?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Am I white?
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yep? Am I white?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yes? So I'm a man, I'm an actor, I'm over thirty,
I'm in movies, and I'm white? Yeah? Am I considered
a heart throb?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
No? Am I under thirty five?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
No?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
No over thirty five?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Am I over seventy?
Speaker 3 (27:30):
No?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Do I have a current song on the radio right now?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
No? Am I a comedian actor?
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Am I a fan of myself? Am I a fan
of this singer? I think?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So? Am I am a movie with Leslie Mann?
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Okay, Oh my god, you know who you are, don't you?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
You?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Little?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Okay? Am I Disney's channel star?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
No? Am I in a show called the Studio?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
No, it's tough, it's bleak out there? Am I have
I played Coachella?
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I don't think so?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Am I married?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yes? Do I have children?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I have children?
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Did I officiate a wedding recently?
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Yes? I have to get it. I just have a guess.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Now you can ask another. I might ask one more.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Have I been to this person's concert before?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
You don't know? Hard to say?
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I mean I would hope so mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Am I Ellie Golding? No?
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Love her though?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
My Adam Sandler, it's so annoying.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
Why are you always beating me this stupid game? Are
you cheating?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
No? How do you do it?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
There's a million, billion, ka trillion people in this world?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I know, I just narrow it down? How I don't know?
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Guide me? Where am I? What am I missing? Here?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Singers are hard?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Can I phone a friend get a clue?
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah? She is famous from competition?
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Ah? Am I Kelly Clarkson? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Have you been to Kelly's show?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I have?
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I love her?
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah, yeah, I've gone to one of her like shows
and then she's still sung at like some iHeart festival things.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Yeah, I'm such a Kelly Clarkson fan, me too, Like forever.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Was she at the wedding?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I didn't see her?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Yeah, I know, I didn't think so, so I was
gonna ask you it was I a Taylor and Travis's wedding.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
But I didn't want to guide you down that path.
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I didn't want to take you down that path because
then I was like, oh, she'll for sure get She'll
ask the same.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Last week, the guy you had, Petro, I didn't know.
Mark said he was there and I was like, oh,
nesed to.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Me, Well, with a thousand people, you know, you tend
to some get lost in the crowd.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
If he would have had his boots on, those.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Would have been memorable. I just won, Okay, I want
to win that you.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Will, just like the birthday game. Sometimes it takes time.
Good things take time.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I'm always a loser, you know, drama.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
We have clips of you celebrating so big from you
winning and think how good that feels.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Yeah, you know, if you're not down, it doesn't feel
as good to be up, like you're just always up,
like you're always winning. I'd rather be the struggle, the
girl that struggles.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
And so when you win, it's like it's a celebration
from the world. Everyone's doing it together. Yeah okay, all right,
Well thanks for playing along as always, and that's the
end of this episode.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
We love you so much and see you next week.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Love you so much.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
You byeh
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Happy Thursday to all who celebrate Thursday Thursday. If you're
getting to imbibe on some beverages cellar treats, do you
celebrate thirsty Thursday?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I used to really back in.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
The day before tender Donia, before tender you know what,
I really don't miss alcohol.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I hear most people feel that way.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Like I used to drink so much, just socially, you
know what I mean. Go out to dinner, have a
glass of wine. Go out to this, have a glass
of wine. Go to any soda social event, have a
you know, cocktail.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And now I'll.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Order a mocktail or A lot of places have non
alcoholic wine, and it does the trick, like I feel like,
it totally does.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Like I feel like.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I'm enjoying with everybody around me, and then I'm not
having the like annoying hangover the next day.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
M hm.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
So anyways, I'm enjoying it. Yeah, I little bit about me.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I saw this story about Brianna chicken Fry. Yeah that
is she dated. Yeah, you know she did the musician
for a while and then they had a really bad breakup.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Luke Bryan No, what did she do?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh my gosh, I can I'm literally Zach.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Sach sank No, Zach Zach Bryan. Is that Luke Bryan's brother.
They're not related, no relation.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
To Luke Bryan. Anyways, she didn't say his name, but
I would imagine it's who she was talking about. But
she said that he didn't show up for her. She
said her ex boyfriend didn't show up to something he
committed to, like performing at another concert with somebody, because
he was severely hungover. And she was like, the thing
about being hungover is you do it to yourself. Like, yeah,
(02:00):
make the choice to drink and put that into your
body knowing that you're gonna feel horrible. She's like, do
you know how many things I've done severely hungover?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
In absolute shambles?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, you can't use that. That's the one thing you
when you poison yourself, you don't get to not show up.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
So anyways, that's my take on alcohol. I I agree.
I I will drink, but I I prefer soda with
any meal that I drink, So unless I'm just wanting
the vibes to be social.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I saw Tinkx post this thing about diet coke where
she like woke up and she was like, I just
need a diet coke and I'm sorry this is the personality.
And I'm like, I just like don't have that at all.
Like diet coked meat tastes like poison, but you.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Like coke, Like you'll have a cokeke, coke.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Zero when you're a broad zero oh, or just a
straight up Coca Cola when you're really is now nowadays,
but like, yeah, like diet coke just like doesn't do it.
I feel like I'm I'm I'm like I have fomo
for like that community of people because they're so like,
you know, yeah, like I just want a French fry
and a diet coke and like or like that cigarette
(03:07):
or what is Yeah, And I just like I feel
sad that I will never have that level of like
enjoyment from that, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I cannot tell you the satisfaction of going through the
McDonald's drive through and getting a coat or doctor pepperye
coke and a French fry, a salty French fry at
around like three pm.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, like I will never find that joyful and that
makes me sad. Like I feel like there's like this
whole like community of people that.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I think you'd enjoy it. I really connect over it.
Icy cold coke with a salty fry. I think you'd
love it, you think, yeah, yeah, just like you loved
my buttered pop tart. I think you you're counting yourself
out too.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Soon before really trying or experiencing.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
But when you have a culinary chef as a husband,
it's hard to dip so low as a drive through,
you know.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I know, he goes, I'm gonna try and make chicken
nuggets from scratch for the kids this week.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
I'm like, what does that even entail?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Like that he's gonna I don't even know he's gonna
mince up the chicken, make a gluten free like not
even like put him in breadcrumbs.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Well, let's see how that turned out.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
God speed, No Dino nugs for those kids.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
No, no, no, no, no, what.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I'm just curious that se how they're gonna turn out.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm sure they'll be great.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah, we'll see.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
He's a professional. Shall we get into some deer bonia
do you want to alternate who reads?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Or do you want sure you want to take this
first one?
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Lengthy?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah. I had a baby this spring and my parents
haven't really been involved because they're full time caregivers for
my dad's mom, who has dementia. It's been hard because
they used to be our only support system, but my
husband and I have accepted that we're doing this on
our own. The problem is that whenever they visit, they
bring my grandmother. She gets over stimulated by my toddler
(04:57):
and is really mean to him. So a few weeks ago,
I told my parents they couldn't bring her to our
house anymore and that we needed to pause visits for now.
Last Friday was my final day of maternity leave. I
planned to spend it cuddling with my baby before going
back to work, but my dad showed up at my
house unannounced with my grandmother. He said he came to
help in quotations, even though he knew I had asked
(05:19):
him not to come. My mom knew he was coming
and didn't tell me. I'm honestly more upset that he
completely ignored the boundary I set than anything else. It
also felt like he took away the one day I
had been looking forward to before returning to work. When
I brought it up to my mom, somehow I ended
up feeling like the bad guy. How do I set
boundaries with parents who refuse to respect them without constantly
(05:40):
feeling guilty?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
This is tough.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
This is so complicated. Yeah, setting boundaries, like getting to
the point where you feel bold enough and fed up
enough to set a boundary is a really big deal,
you know, Like getting to that point of being able
to do that, you should feel really proud of yourself,
and then to have somebody totally ignore it and disrespect
(06:04):
it oof.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
And it's so hard because it's like those are your parents,
you know what I mean, And like you obviously respect
and you love them so much. But I feel like
sometimes when you grow up in your an adult and
then you have your own family, that your parents don't
necessarily respect that boundary as like how you want to
things that you want to do for your family, you
(06:27):
know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, it's almost like this ownership mentality of like you
have kids and you feel like you are instill forever
in charge of them, as opposed to raising them to
be independent adults who can take care of themselves and
have their own boundaries and own lives without you being
in control of how they live them. Yeah, I would
(06:48):
just I think you're just kind.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
It's just like so rude.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You literally told them not to come and to bring
your not to bring your grandmother, and they just completely
disregarded that.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I'd be so pissed.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Not only did they come, but he and brought your grandma. Yeah,
I would just have to sit them down and say, hey,
I thought I was clear, but maybe I wasn't. I
didn't communicate in a clear way, but that was that
made me feel really disrespected. And I know that y'all
are my parents, and I love you all, and I
love my grandma, but I think with her situation and
(07:21):
kind of where the babies are at, it's just too
too much going on.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
It's just it's so layered. Because now I'm thinking, like,
you obviously feel guilty if you set a boundary with
your parents, You just feel that guilt, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So I'm sure her parents.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Feel that guilt with their their mom, you know what
I mean, if like they feel guilty.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah, but does the mom want to go if she's
overwhelmed by the toddler. Does the grandma want to be
brought along?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Think so, yes, grandfathers just want to be around their
grandkids twenty four secs.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
They're like snippety and yes, yes I do. Maybe the
boundary is you say, like when you need you'll reach
out and ask for it, and maybe there's when you
feel like you have the capacity that you invite them over,
like maybe you said us specifically.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
And also like if you're still in maternity leave, this
is fresh, like you literally just like popped a baby
out yesterday. Like people need to respect and give you
a little bit of time to just like get your
wits about you.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, I think, unfortunately, you just have to have another conversation.
And I also would like to reiterate you were you
should not feel guilty. I think it's a very normal
human reaction because we care about the people in our lives.
We love our parents, we love our family, but we
also have to establish independence and protect yourself and your
(08:43):
mental health while you're postpartum, yeah, navigating life right now.
So I think you, unfortunately are going to have another
conversation with them and just say hey, I don't know,
and don't make it feel like accusatory because if they
want to be around you, you don't want to make them
feel bad for wanting to help you. And I put
that in.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Clothes, right.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But even if they don't want to help them, they
just want to see their grandkid. Like I totally get that, Yeah,
I do, But they have to respect what you say. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I think you just say, we're you know, there's just
a lot going on. Grandma is a little overwhelmed when
she comes over, and I think that that makes my
life harder. So when y'all come to help, it doesn't
make me feel less stressed. Yeah, And so maybe it's
just for the time right now, you just set a
clear boundary and let them know that y'all can bring
(09:35):
the kids to them.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I think what she's saying is like she already had
this conversation. They didn't respect us, So she's like, how
do I set boundaries who refuse with parents who refuse
to respect them?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I think maybe lock the door.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Do you might have to move, change your phone number.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Change your keys.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
I'm kidding.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I think you just said, say, like, explain why what
they did felt disrespectful and why that crossed the line
of the boundary that you set because they might not
If parents have never had boundaries and then you set
a boundary, they might not even realize they're doing it. Yeah,
so I think maybe it explained, like, hey, when I
said this, this was me like setting a boundary, and
(10:13):
when you did this, it made me feel like you
didn't hear me. So I just wanted to reiterate what
I was asking. And I'm sorry that you're navigating this.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
This is so hard, especially fresh with a new I know.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But congratulations, and I hope things get easy and less stressful.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Our next email is from a loyal fan crush is
new to w l W community. We'll get back.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
We'll get back with this.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
One nice tease, we'll choppy room for improvement, and we're back. Okay,
(11:06):
this is the next email. This one's mainly for Becca,
but I'd love to hear Tanya's opinion too. I recently
started talking to a girl who's brand new to the
WLW community and is still exploring her sexuality. I've known
I was into women my whole life, so this is
a new experience for me. She's never dated a woman
before and is understandably nervous, but she's also really flirty
(11:28):
and I'm excited to see where this could go. She
wants to start as friends and let things happen naturally. Becca,
do you have any advice for helping someone feel more
comfortable and easing those nerves without putting any pressure on them? Sincerely,
a loyal fan.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I think you the best thing you can do is
just be her friend and have fun and like, don't
don't put it like kind of I would almost let
her take the lead, because you don't want to put
pressure on her and then have that be something that
she holds against you or you know, if she's navigating
her sexuality. I didn't go through this because I basically
(12:06):
met Halen was like I bought her. I got her
like a picture frame with a small photo of us,
like within two weeks of us dating.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
That are knowing each Other's so crazy because if I
did that to Robbie, he would literally like head for
the hills.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I think Haley probably got a little scared. But I,
you know, we met and then I remember and I
don't know again, I don't know how old y'all are,
but I think I was almost thirty and I kind
of had this mentality of I've never felt this way before.
I'm not going to overthink it. I'm just gonna go
with it and see what happens. And obviously it worked out.
(12:42):
I know a lot of people are scared to be
with someone who has never been with a woman before
or is exploring that part of themselves. So I would
just be cautious and like have fun, but also, you know,
guard your heart just like you were dating anybody you know,
don't don't put everything out there, and just.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Tough.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I know it's tough because when you really like someone
and you're excited, you want to go all in. But
I would just be her friend, and I think it'll
naturally if there's something there, I think it's naturally going
to happen. But I also think if she's exploring her
sexuality or is it out or knows where she's at
in her sexuality and her that journey, I you know,
it might be that her friends don't know or her
(13:23):
family doesn't know, and that can get tricky as well.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
So I have no advice, but my only advice would
be like, don't make her feel like it's an insecurity
because I feel like sometimes people who haven't done something before,
like this person's never dated another woman. Some people have
never had like a boyfriend, right, some people are virgins.
I've never ever kicked someone. I've never kissed someone like
you know, Like, there's so many instances where this is
the case, and I feel like if they feel it
(13:50):
and they turn it into an insecurity, then I think
that could become problematic. So like, don't make her feel
like it's a big deal.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
It's a red fly.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Like people have journeys that they start, and it can
either start like you said, you've known your whole life,
or can start when they're about to turn thirty like you.
You can't fault someone for learning something new about themselves. Yeah,
and make it make her feel bad about it. But
I also think you know, you have to just like
(14:21):
anyone though, even if it was a guy, you'd want
to go slow, go at a pace that feels natural,
not put any pressure on it so that you also
don't get hurt. Yeah, but this is fun. I'd love
an update, Hi, Beca and Tanya about.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I'm not going to read what this is about just
to like tease everybody.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
No, I just dive right in. Wow, Hi Becka and Tanya,
About a year ago, I started a small business creating
and selling products that were pretty unique in my area.
One of my repeat customers became a friendly acquaintance, abought
almost everything I made and is now selling products that
almost that look almost identical to mine, right down to
(15:03):
the packaging and presentation. People have even asked if she's
selling my products. The tricky part is we share the
same friend circles, our kids will be in preschool together,
and we live in a small town, so I see
her all the time. Do I just focus on my
own business and let it go or is it worth thing?
Worth saying something before it goes any further. I thought
this is gonna be like a love star. I thought
(15:23):
this was gonna be.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Like and then we fell in love a guy.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, because there was like a guy that bought everything.
And should I look into this? I don't know. Like
part of me is like, just put your head down
and work on your business.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
But I also don't like what excellent advice.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Oh just don't don't even say your lane.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Stay in your lane. Do you know what they say swimmers?
If you're swimming in the Olympics, you.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Don't look to the rider left.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
The minute you look to your right, your left to
look at your competition. You're losing the race.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Oof.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Keep in your lane, keep your head down, keep swimming
in your lane, don't be bothered. And yeah, I know
I hate this saying, but like copying, what is this
in copying is like the biggest form.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Of flat area.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
It's annoying, but like, if it's not her, somebody else
might do it. Do you know what I mean? And
if they're not doing it, somebody else might do it.
You just gotta do you. Yeah, don't look to your
left or your tier right.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I think if anything, maybe this encourages you to try
something new or like change how yours looks, like, do
something new so that you're always evolving, because if she's
gonna keep copying you, you're going to be the first
to do it.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Maybe maybe like you can introduce like I know this
is gonna sound annoying and probably a lot of legwork,
but you got this. Maybe write a handwritten note with
everybody that buys one of your unique products, you know,
like it could be a short little note like I
hope this. Yeah, I don't know what the products are, but.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
And maybe change your packaging and presentation, like maybe you
just like do some new things that elevate, stretches you creatively,
elevates your brand, and just focus on making your product
the best it can be and coming up with new ideas.
And I understand the frustration. I too. I think anyone
in your position would be frustrated. But when people talk,
(17:18):
be like no, Like she's doing her thing and I'm
doing mine and they're similar but totally different brands.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, you know, head down, head down, don't look okay, Hi,
Becka and Tanya, we are big fans of the pod,
and we're reaching out with a request that's really close
to our hearts. Two of our best friends are WLW
and have been working up the courage to come out
to their parents. They're both nervous and could really use
(17:44):
a boost. We know their families will be so supportive,
but it's still a big moment that takes so much courage.
They're both big scrubbing in fans, and we think words
of encouragement from you all on the podcast would mean
the world to us. Whether it comes from your own
experiences or just from the heart, We would love nothing
more than to pass it along knowing they'll be listening.
We cannot wait till we celebrate them together in a
(18:05):
way that makes them both feel seen for who they are.
Thank you for everything you do. This community means so much,
with so much love, H and.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
H you tell sweet well, I just have to say
coming out is so scary and exciting, and you feel
relief and you feel all the feelings that you could
ever feel in one moment. And I think sometimes it
feels like you're coming out so many times because I mean,
(18:34):
even to this day, if someone asks me, you know, oh,
they'll see my ring and be like, oh, what does
your husband do your rings beauty? Or what is your
you know, yeah, husband do your rings beautiful? And I'm like, oh,
I'm engaged a woman. You know, there's constantly a need
to come out. But I love that you already know
their family is going to be so supportive of such
a huge deal.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Stood out to me.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Too, knowing that you have friends like you guys who
wrote in like how that is so amazing to have
that type of support that you're reaching out to a
podcast to have us to give them support. I think
there's a whole community waiting to welcome you with open arms,
and people that might be unfamiliar with it but willing
(19:16):
to learn more because they love you. I think it
gives people a chance to expand their hearts and their minds,
and you being a part of that for people is
so important, and you're so important for so many people
who are also on their journey to finding themselves and
who they love. So I just want to encourage you
and say that we love you, and we support you.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
We love you so much.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
This is a huge step and we know it's going
to go great, and that the best is you have
to come truly.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
And getting to find someone you love is the best ever,
and love yourself is the greatest gift ever.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
You know what I was thinking about.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
And this might be just like totally as a straight
woman saying this, but like, do you think that they'll
ever be a time where like you don't have to
come out like it's just like like I never had
to say it, come out and say that I was
like attracted to men, Do you know what I mean? Like,
do you think that we'll ever get to a point
where it's just like it'll you just it is, It
(20:14):
is what it is.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I think there are younger people who are.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
These moments of like I have to come out to
my parents and I have to come out to my
friends like that whole, that whole like tenseness of it
is just like not a thing anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
I mean I hope, I mean that would be the hope.
But I do think there's like younger people now they
just say like they have a crush or they like
so and so. You know, watching the prom videos of
people asking their uh their prom proposal, proposal or whatever
and it being two girls or two boys, and I
was like, oh, that's so. I can't even imagine people doing.
(20:48):
I mean, I went to a small Baptist school, but
it's amazing to see young.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Had some people my like, really, yeah, WHOA.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
So I I think people are less it's a little
more comfortable, but I think unfortunately there's a stigma and
opinion about it.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Do you think that will ever change?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I think you have to hope so right, like you
to say no feels dark, and I hope that there's
a world where you can just say I am dating
so and so.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
And it's yeah. So, I feel like there's so much
even just reading this email, like there's so much pressure
in this like coming out to the parents even though
they know. I'm like, that's like stressful.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
I know, I know it is, and especially being like
I don't know how old they are, but I know
it doesn't matter the age. But I do feel when
you're younger, well, but when you are younger and the
pressure of how people expect your life to be and right.
But yeah, I hope that there's a time where that's
not the case.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Me just with the thought provoking questions.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, it's beautiful. This last one is.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Anna about Girls Like Girls.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I'll take it over.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Yeah, it's your turn.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Day one Scrubber Year. I just wanted to tell you
all that I just saw my very first movie alone,
Girls Like Girls boo. I really wanted to support the movie,
but was having a hard time coordinating with friends, so
I just went to see it by myself. What an
incredibly beautiful, moving story. I absolutely loved it. I just
feel so proud of Haley and I'm so happy for Becca,
so happy for the love she and Becca have found.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Love.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
How supportive you are all are of each other. Proud
scrubber for life. Oh that's so sweet, Anna. I love
going to movies by myself. You do, Oh my gosh.
I love going to the movie.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Have you seen by yourself?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Name a movie, Yeah, you name it. When I lived
in San Diego, every single Tuesday there was I still
had my student ID from the one year I went
to college and I was like mid twenties at this time.
I would use my student ID and I would go
and get a seven dollars movie ticket and a free
popcorn Minnesota. Every single Tuesday, no matter what movie was out,
(23:06):
I'd go watch it.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I don't think I've ever seen a movie alone. Never,
once in my life I took.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
The best activity to do alone because you're not talking
to anybody, You're just eating your snacks and watching a movie.
I love it.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
I've never died.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I don't even I neestly even thought twice of like,
oh can I go alone? Is that awkward? I just
if I want to see a movie, I just go. No.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I don't think it's awkward. I just like it just
feels like an activity I would never do, Like solo.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
It's a perfect so loo activity.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Like if I'm going to watch a movie but myself,
I'll just stay at home, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Like, well, yeah, but if you want to see it. Well,
this was before you know, when you didn't have streaming
and stuff and you want to see a movie.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I never went to the movies until really until I
had step kids.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
And I just want to say thank you for support
because you could have just waited till it came out.
She could have for this and do it watch it
at home. But I really appreciate you fighting through and
go alone. I do too, Honestly, I would go girls
like Girls is a great movie to watch alone.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Yes it is.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
I love it. I've seen it nine times.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
That's so crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
And I've seen it a lot of on demand right now.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
I feel like I've seen it a lot of times.
And I was like, you see it twice as much
as me.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
You saw it a lot in a short span of
time too.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
I feel like I could quote it same, But I say,
a movie alone, yes, do it, do it for the
But what I want to see? Like that's the whole thing.
Like what would I want to see? What's out right now? Nothing?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I don't know what's out right now? But wait till
something that you like, a cute rom com or something.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Oh you know what movie I want to see?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
What the Calum Turner and Mansa got alone? Yeah, Like
I would wait for it to come streaming go see.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
It's so fun.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Go see it. Just so we have something to talk
about on the podcast. Do it for work?
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Okay, Okay, we're.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Gonna take a break and we're gonna come back and
we're going to do the game. It's just me and Tanya,
but we're gonna h.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Sam texting us the name. So these aren't just like
self thought names.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah, because last some'm Tanya and I played by ourselves.
I gave her a linel ritchie and she gave me
Hillary stuff. So it was a slightly unfair dynamic. So
Sam is sending us each someone of equal I thought,
I just saw yours. You saw what you're writing for me? Yeah, okay,
so we're gonna be right back and you're gonna play along.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Yep, all right, we're back and we are.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
We have post its on our head with the celebrities name,
so we're gonna get right into our questions.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
As a loser, Can I go first?
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Thanks? Am I a man?
Speaker 2 (25:51):
No am I a woman?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
No am I a woman?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Yes? Well you never know, you know, am I saying?
Speaker 3 (26:01):
No?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Am I an actress?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
No? No am I an actress? Im an actor? Yes?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Am I a singer?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Am I over thirty?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Yes? Am I a current pop star?
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Am I in movies?
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yes? Am I married?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
No? Am I in a movie this year?
Speaker 1 (26:38):
We're fact checking, we're fact checking, fact checking. I'm leaning
towards no, but I want to give you accurate information.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (26:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Oh no, not a movie this year?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
So I am a woman that's a singer. I am
a current pop star and I'm not married. Am I
dating somebody?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
No? Thanks? Okay?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Am I white?
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yep? Am I white?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yes? So I'm a man, I'm an actor, I'm over thirty,
I'm in movies, and I'm white? Yeah? Am I considered
a heart throb?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
No? Am I under thirty five?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
No?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
No over thirty five?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Am I over seventy?
Speaker 3 (27:30):
No?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Do I have a current song on the radio right now?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
No? Am I a comedian actor?
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Am I a fan of myself? Am I a fan
of this singer? I think?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So? Am I am a movie with Leslie Mann?
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Okay, Oh my god, you know who you are, don't you?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
You?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Little?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Okay? Am I Disney's channel star?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
No? Am I in a show called the Studio?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
No, it's tough, it's bleak out there? Am I have
I played Coachella?
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I don't think so?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Am I married?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yes? Do I have children?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I have children?
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Did I officiate a wedding recently?
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Yes? I have to get it. I just have a guess.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Now you can ask another. I might ask one more.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Have I been to this person's concert before?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
You don't know? Hard to say?
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I mean I would hope so mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Am I Ellie Golding? No?
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Love her though?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
My Adam Sandler, it's so annoying.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
Why are you always beating me this stupid game? Are
you cheating?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
No? How do you do it?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
There's a million, billion, ka trillion people in this world?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I know, I just narrow it down? How I don't know?
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Guide me? Where am I? What am I missing? Here?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Singers are hard?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Can I phone a friend get a clue?
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah? She is famous from competition?
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Ah? Am I Kelly Clarkson? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Have you been to Kelly's show?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I have?
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I love her?
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah, yeah, I've gone to one of her like shows
and then she's still sung at like some iHeart festival things.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Yeah, I'm such a Kelly Clarkson fan, me too, Like forever.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Was she at the wedding?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I didn't see her?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Yeah, I know, I didn't think so, so I was
gonna ask you it was I a Taylor and Travis's wedding.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
But I didn't want to guide you down that path.
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I didn't want to take you down that path because
then I was like, oh, she'll for sure get She'll
ask the same.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Last week, the guy you had, Petro, I didn't know.
Mark said he was there and I was like, oh,
nesed to.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Me, Well, with a thousand people, you know, you tend
to some get lost in the crowd.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
If he would have had his boots on, those.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Would have been memorable. I just won, Okay, I want
to win that you.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Will, just like the birthday game. Sometimes it takes time.
Good things take time.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I'm always a loser, you know, drama.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
We have clips of you celebrating so big from you
winning and think how good that feels.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Yeah, you know, if you're not down, it doesn't feel
as good to be up, like you're just always up,
like you're always winning. I'd rather be the struggle, the
girl that struggles.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
And so when you win, it's like it's a celebration
from the world. Everyone's doing it together. Yeah okay, all right,
Well thanks for playing along as always, and that's the
end of this episode.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
We love you so much and see you next week.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Love you so much.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
You byeh
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!