July 30, 2026 • 38 mins
Tanya is ready to spread the love of the new Gracie Abrams album and we have a potentially controversial announcement about games on the pod.
Plus, we help some Scrubbers in desperate need of expert advice (which we CANNOT provide). What do you do if your ex-husband’s ex-girlfriend wants to meet! How are we handling step-mothers-in-law?? And what do you do if your friend hasn’t met your baby… a year later??
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in full shaky, What hard Buddy?
Maybe Rato? Any new songs you're listening to right now?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I've just been listening to the new Grazy Gabrahms album
A lot.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Which songs do you love?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I love them all? Honestly, I don't skip. I love
MIDI Bar well, Yeah, I mean that's like the standout
Star and look at My Life and hit the Wall.
Those are like the standouts. But I really don't skip,
weirdly because a lot of them are slow and I
don't really I'm not like my ballad Era, but they're
all really good.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah, ballad Era have you. So there's a trend right
now where people will take they're taking photos of the
fall of like twenty twenty two, and they're like, I
took this on my walk back from class listening and
it was like during the mid Night's release.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
You know that was a great fall twenty twenty two when.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Midnights came out, Just like I love a Taylor Swush release.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It's a trend right now.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
What a weird thing, just like people sick with nostalgia
for like a specific time, place and feeling.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
My trend I'm seeing right now this is probably old,
but like the picture of yourself that could be a
oh yeah going around. Oh so it's still current.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I guess I just see it on stories.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Just maybe in a few months maybe maybe maybe.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
But you know what, this podcast is going to turn
nine years old in September, and I think we need
to have like some sort of something, okay, like like
a party, like a party, perhaps like a revam. Perhaps
we should do a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I mean, I don't know how long. I mean, we
have like a month to figure this out. But if
we did, like a little mini live show rent the
Roxy again.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Are you out of your mind? What? First of all,
those things take so much time to prepare, we can't
just whittle it away in a month. And second of all.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You're overestimating a little live show that that's not even
a thing.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And then I think the whole reason why we didn't
do any more live shows is because they didn't do well.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You know what, No need to squash my dreams. I'm
so sorry, just because I'm a dreamer.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Okay, I'm gonna let you plan it then, So in September, I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Not gonna plan it, but I would be down to
do something to celebrate. Yeah, almost a decade.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Literally almost a decade, Like that's crazy. So I don't know.
Maybe I'll look into something. Maybe just have a little
party that day for the podcast. I'm not sure, but
I'm feeling the vibe.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I was thinking of something that involves scrubbers, as they
are the reason we have had nine years of scrubbing it.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
How do we do it?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Maybe this is I was pitching if you want to
plan it, but all me, No, I'm not a planner.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah I know, but I do think we could.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Put a little something, a little podcast in the park
or something that'd be.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
What I'm saying is, maybe we just do like an
unofficial like Oh okay, okay, yeah, oh I thought you
got like a whole full ticketed like thing.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
No, I was joking about the roxy that was just.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Like a podcast in the park is super cute. Yeah,
a little Sunday soire. Let's get the dates, get the
date of our actual thing anniversary, and then we can yeah,
chill do like a little chill something.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yeah, we'll do a little uh session.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
What's it called Sunday session?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
No, what's it called when you make plans in your brainstorm?
A brainstorm session?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Brainstorm session.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Anyways, we have a Dear Bonnie episode where.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
She just wants to get straight in. We're to fun
fodder for Becca.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
We're trying to decide if we wanted to do a
game at the end, and Tanya last week or on Monday,
was like, well, some people don't like it, some like it,
and I'm like, you know what, We're going to do
it for those who like it, and if you don't
like it, then we'll just tell you when we're going
to do it and you can just.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
In the podcast.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, and that's just how life works sometimes, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
And we're going to give you the option. We're gonna
say it's starting now if you want to play along.
We love you, love to have you.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And I'm listening to the notes, you know, I know.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
But the thing is if you listen too much to
the notes, then you have fifty.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Year Oh no, But I think the notes are helping.
I think they're guiding this game into a path. Like
people did enjoy the one by one, but because it
was like.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I hated this format, So you're going to have people
who it said that someone commented I hated this format.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Well that person I saw more appreciation for the one
on one.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
All I'm saying is we'll just do it. What what
the majority ones, and then if they want to be
a part of it, great and if not, the it's okay.
It's just in our game era.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah we are. Games are fun and light.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
They're really fun. They're light. Tanya needs light, so y'all
quit dampening Tanya's lightness.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I need light and I need levity.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Okay, we're taking away Tanya's levity when we just need games.
Yes for our non competitive queen. Yes, so many years
ago as she said she's not competitive.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'm not. I lose every week and yet I'm coming
back here.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
But you care?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I do care.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Yeah, that's good. It's growth. If we're not growing, what
are we doing?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
My point exactly?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I know? Okay, shall we get started?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
You want to start? Do you want me to?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Why don't I start? Now? Why don't you start?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I just want to do the third one.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Okay. I'm in my forties and have been on and
off the dating apps for years since my last serious relationship.
I recently met a guy on Hinge who was married
for twenty years and has been divorced for about a
year and a half. We've only been seeing each other
for three three weeks, but he's very secure, knows he
wants a relationship and isn't afraid to show it. Dating
(06:05):
in my forties has made me more of an overthinker
and cautiously optimistic. We agree on all the big things
and everything feels so easy. But he's definitely more confident
about us than I am. At this point, I'm curious
how Becca let her guard down with Hailey. We're either
of you ever in a relationship where one person fell
all the way in while the other needed more time
even though they were really interested. Also, I'm definitely not
(06:27):
a Tanya. Oh but he is. He's already brought me flowers,
cute cards, and even dog treats for my two dogs. Tanya,
what are some of the little things you did earlier
on that Robbie really appreciated you. Both are such a
refreshing break in my week. Thank you so nice, so nice, Gosh,
I just never had my guard up with Haley, I
(06:51):
was just so in, so fast, so scary. But I
also think like sometimes it's a I think for some
people sometimes it's a slow burn. It wasn't for me
with my relationship or Falie, and it wasn't for you either,
But I think I get it. I think the older
(07:12):
you get, the more you have your way of doing things,
the more you're cautious about who you let in. And
I think the more time that goes by where you're
not opening yourself up and opening your heart, the more
inward you go. I think that's just the natural thing
to do.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And I also think people can get very comfortable being
single totally.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so having someone coming in
and doing nice things for you but also kind of
taking up your time and space probably does feel almost
like threatening in a way to this like version of
yourself that you've gotten so used to. So I wouldn't
be super hard on yourself. But I also feel like,
if you really like him and you're interested in him,
(07:52):
I wantn't necessarily let it scare you off. But I
also don't want you to get love bombed like that
happens too.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So does it sound like he's of bombing.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I'm just saying, like there's a fine line, you know,
of doing all the nice things and then it being
loved bombing. But what were some of the things that
you did for Robbie that he appreciated.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I always like had This is like so silly because
like he doesn't eat Reese's pieces like you know, but
like I always took notes on the things that he liked.
So Reeseist pieces, those little like.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Yeah, almost like an eminem b yes pieces.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Those were like his favorite candy, So I always like
had those in my apartment. There was like a green
juice he got from Creation, Like I would have like
the green juice there for him. I knew his favorite
type of apple, so I would always have like his
favorite type of apple there. I knew if he was
coming over, like on a Friday afternoon, and I knew
we were like going to get drinks or something, I
would always have or we were like going out, I
(08:48):
would have his favorite like drink ready for him when
he got to my apartment. I would leave him like
little notes. One night one time he came over and
I like left a bunch of different like notes, like
like one card in the kitchen and then like then
your next one is upstairs on the bed, and then
like I left him like little things and we're doing
like a paint, little paint thing upstairs, you.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Know, quite romantic, very thoughtful.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
It was also the pandemic, so I would go all
out for these things.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
You know, your dates were in the house. Yeah, I
think it's like I definitely feel like I was in
uh like I felt like with Robert, my guard was
very much up. I felt very prideful of my almost
like stoicism towards relationships. Like I felt almost like you
(09:40):
can't break down my wall. Yeah, and I don't know
why he was so patient, and what a what a
wonderful patient man he was, because I was is yeah,
well I haven't seen him in a long time, but
at the.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Imagine him, I'm he's still patient.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
But I think it's I think it's okay to let
your guard down, because even if this isn't your person,
and even if it's like he ends up not being
the guy or being not as wonderful as you think
he is, you don't even you're you're not even gonna
give yourself a chance to experience something great if you're
so closed off so I think it can feel scary,
(10:19):
but the worst that can happen is you move on.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I don't even know how to put my guard up.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Your guard is like locked, and it's like locked on the.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Down my guard. My guard doesn't even know how to
get out of the cage. So I can't I can't
help there.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I think just just enjoy it. And also, you've only
been dating for three weeks, and I don't think you
should close if you're like not one hundred percent in
on this guy. I don't think you should close yourself
off to meeting other people. You don't have to spread
your seed, but I think you can not put all
your eggs in one basket. Yes, disperse your eggs.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, but not figure not literally.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, your not your eggs. Yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
It always goes back there for me. Anyways, I'm gonna
do Janelle next, just because I want to do that one.
Then you can do the honest.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Okay, we're skipping around, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I'm picking and choosing, all right. This is from Jenelle.
This is mainly for Tanya, my fellow fair skin queen.
I'm extremely pale with dark hair, similar to Sophia Carson.
I've been using self tanner and getting spray tan since
I was eighteen and I'm thirty six now. It's exhausting,
and honestly, I hate feeling like I have to do it.
My pale skin keeps me from wearing dresses, shorts, and swimsuits,
(11:40):
and it really affects my confidence. When I skip the
self tanner, people always comment on how white I look.
It's so discouraging. I'm actually in tears writing this because
I'm trying to get ready for date night and I
hate how I look without a tan. I'm working through
this in therapy, but I'm hoping Tanya might have some
encouraging words. So it's so crazy because I who used
to get ray tans all the time, and then once
(12:03):
I realized how toxic they were, I stopped getting them.
Not to say I won't dabble. I might even get
one this week, that's right. So I don't like swear
them off. I'm just doing them, not as often as
I used to. In moderation, if you will, but me too.
(12:24):
My skin is like the color of milk. My legs
are the color of milk. Sometimes tanner, well, I am
a little tann right now. It's still from Cabo and
I also like walk outside, it's like a bazillion degree,
so I have a little bit of a tan. But
my legs, no, no, no, my legs are as white
as as white as a cloud. I mean, come on,
I'm just saying I don't it's pretty white anyways, Janelle,
(12:51):
here's the thing. Who cares what people think about your legs?
We all have different Like if your legs aren't too white,
then you have viicos veins. If you don't have vericose veins,
then your skin is blotchy. If your skin's not blotchy,
then you have razor burn. If you don't have razor burn,
then you have ingrown hairs on your bikini line. Like
(13:15):
you know what I mean, Like everybody has something, I
can guarantee you, even people that you look at and
you think, oh my gosh, they're probably so confident they
have whatever in their head, you know, cell you light,
whatever it may be. And I just think it's gonna
sound so silly, but I think you should practice doing
stuff with like shorts on, like going to the things
that are like low stakes, not going on dates with
(13:37):
shorts on, but like going to the store with shorts on.
Good doing exposure therapy, because and then you're gonna just
be like, why have I been wearing pants? Or like
why do I I just think the more you do something,
the more it becomes just like a habit.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I think when someone if someone makes a clummet, I
feel like you should just own it and be like, yeah,
I take really good care of my skin so that
I stay looking younger longer.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
People tell me all the time, WHOA, you're so white?
This all the time my friends. I'm like, oh my gosh,
your legs are so pale.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
But I'd like to clarify I've never.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Once I think you have one. I have never said that,
but I'm not offended by it. I'm my legs haven't
seen the light of days since like January twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Even when you go, should I do a spray tin?
I really don't want to, but my legs look so pale.
I'm like, do what you want if you feel good
with your legs looking all Like.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
All I'm saying is people comment on how white I
look often, and I don't care, Like I'm like, I'm
just like I know I haven't like, I haven't gone
my legs haven't seen the light of day.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, Jane, this is like one of those things where
we've talked about this on the podcast before, but like
when someone has kids and they are going on dates
and they feel like they have to, they almost are
like ashamed to say that they have kids instead of
being confident about it.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah, let's like play it out.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Am I are you Janelle? Or am I? No? No?
No not?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
You know like what the kids saying, Well, let's do
let's do you know? Okay? Fine, fine, fine, you know
I'll bet you know? Okay, no you okay? Because this
is your the guy on the date.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Oh okay, how do you know? Hi? Am I supposed to.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Say, like, wow, you you're like your legs are so pale?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Oh I do you know you look beautiful? Whoa, your
legs are really pale?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I know, tell me about I haven't been on vacation
in a minute.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I don't think vacation is the no, well no, because
I don't think she needs to be on vacation in
the sun.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
The only time my skin sees the sun.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I don't think she like I think she's protective of
her skin, is what I'm sensing. Oh, or maybe she
just doesn't tand maybe she just burns, so maybe.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
It is harder. Yeah, this is harder than I thought. Jane,
I'm so glad we're playing this out.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, okay, you know you look beautiful. Oh your legs
are really pale.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I know is beautiful.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Wow. That that's one way to do it.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Mm hmm. I watched me in thirty years without the
wrinkly wrinkles over my knees, wondering.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
If okay, I'm really trying to play that. I want
I want her to know what to say if someone
ever says.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
That again, is on a date. I feel like it's
just she's more self conscious about it. It's not like
the guys.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
It's not saying that's I'm saying. But she said people
have said it, and so have.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Oh my gosh, I've heard it
time and time again.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I think you should just say, yeah, you should see
what happens when I go in the sun. I burn
like crazy and I'm just I'm rocking it, just like
own what you're doing, Like own the fact that you're like, yeah,
I've always done spray TNDS and I'm I'm this is
my exposure therapy, and I want to like feel comfortable
in my skin.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think that's the whole thing. And it's so much
easier said than done. I know, like when confidence about something,
but just know that you are protecting your skin. And
there's other people who are just like worship the sun
and their skin does not look good. And I I
bet your beautiful light skin looks so healthy and fresh
and you're taking care of yourself, which is important. And
(17:07):
I think on special occasions, like if you want to
if you want to put self tanner on, I don't
think that's a bad thing, like makeup on because I
want to feel better. Yeah, it's like make up for
your body. But I think if you're tired of doing that,
I also think it's important to love who you are
without that. And I think that's the practice of like
leaning into the confidence of the journey of getting confident
(17:31):
about your skin tone.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, and like you said, she said she's working on
it in therapy. I think that's like a huge that's
going to be huge for you. Just like talking it
out because at the end of the day, it really
is your mindset. Your mindset is everything in life, and
if you aren't insecure about how pale you are, it's
not gonna matter.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
I actually wish Easton was here today because Alison is
really protective of her skin. She's really light skin and
won't go in the sun, and she has the most
she looks like a porcelain doll. Like Allison is the
most beautiful skin and she's so protective of it. So
I guess it's also changing your mindset of how you
view lighter skin and pale skin, because like when I
(18:07):
see people with light skin, I'm like, wow, they really
take care of themselves. Like I'm never like oh my god,
I'm just like wow, they really care about their skin
health and you know what they're doing for it. So
I think it's reshifting your brain chemistry. And I also
think doing therapy is great. And I also think go
outside with a short sleeve shirt or or shorts on,
(18:27):
and like Tanya said, go to the store, go run
an errand and if someone says anything, be like totally.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, I know, I see it every day.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah. Yeah. So I think you are on a beautiful
journey and I'm proud of you because being confident in
something takes vulnerability.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
It's gonna be a journey and you're gonna feel empowered
through it.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
It is so true though, It's like everybody has something,
you know what I mean, everybody has something. I didn't
even do a spraytann for my wedding. I was very
pale at my wedding.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah. I don't remember you being pale at your wedding.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, look back some of the photos. My skin and
my dress very similar.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I thought you just had a long dressold. What I
thought you just had a long dressold thinking about your reception.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
I've had my wedding.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You couldn't even str legs in your wedding.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
My arms, my arms, my arms, I know.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
But you're quite like blow stuff on you.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah, it's fine. I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
A bad example, not worried about it. Okay, we're gonna
take a break. But we have an ex husband, ex
husband's now X message someone I don't even understand. That
feels like drama. Stay tuned, we're back, We're back, all right.
(20:00):
A couple of days ago, I got a random DM
on Instagram from a woman who told me she's been
dating my ex husband for the past two years. She
said she had a lot of questions and asked if
i'd meet her for coffee. I wasn't comfortable meeting, but
I did agree to message with her. As we talked,
I realized he told her a completely different version of
why our marriage ended. He told her we divorced because
(20:21):
our work schedules weren't compatible. The truth is he cheated
on me. She also shared that he cheated on her
and that she experienced emotional manipulation throughout their relationship. It
was honestly surreal comparing notes and realizing we had lived
through so many of the same things. I told her.
I thought it was healthiest for us to stop talking
and wish her the best, but she's still asking if
(20:43):
we can meet in person. Part of me feels for
her because I know exactly what she's going through. The
other part of me feels like I've already said everything
I needed to say and don't want to reopen a
chapter of my life I've worked really hard to close.
Do I owe her a coffee or is it okay
to kindly say no and protect my own peace?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Very strong opinion on this, Yeah, listen, you're universal board.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
She seems seems like she's not in the relationship anymore.
Seems like they also broke up, so she's processing what
you've already been through and you don't need to be
her guiding light. Is my opinion.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Zero. This person is not your friend, that this person
is not your family. This person is if you want to,
if you wanted to talk to her to get to
feel better about the situation or to get clarity or whatever,
then by all means, but you protecting your piece is
the biggest thing.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I think there's a way of saying it to where
she doesn't feel like alone and dismissed. But you can
just say, hey, like, I don't really have anything else
to say. I don't see a need for us to
meet in person, and I don't really want to just
like what you said, I don't really want to open
a chapter that I've worked really hard to close. But
I wish you the best and I hope you're able
to find closure like I have. Yeah, and just you know,
(21:58):
let her know that simple support her from afar. But
you don't need to meet up with her.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Yeah, that's easy for me. Bye bye, And.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I'm glad that you have moved on because tutors.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Are just the worst. Yeah, they're just they're just lack
of character. Really and that's not what we want for
our Scrubby and Queen. No, okay, this is from Alyssa
issues with step mother in law. My in laws live
about an hour and a half away from my husband,
our two year old son, and me. My husband has
(22:32):
never been very close with his stepmom, even though she's
been in his life for almost thirty years. She has
three kids who live nearby, and they've all been and
they've always been the priority. I hope things would change
once we had our son, but they really haven't. They've
only driven to see him once for his first birthday party,
while they see her kids all the time. A few
weeks ago, I finally told my step mother in law
(22:55):
that I really wanted them to be more involved in
our son's life. I also pointed out that he is
my father in law's only biological grandson, and that really
upset her. Looking back, I realized that was probably triggering
and I regret saying it in that way. We talked
it through and she insists that we're fine, but it
doesn't feel that way. We haven't really spoken since she
stopped liking my posts about my son on Facebook and
(23:15):
didn't even wish my husband a happy birthday. My son's
second birthday party is coming up, and I'm nervous since
she says we're good. Do I just let it go
or do I bring it up again?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Man? Yeah? Also sorry, But like she seems very pettious
if she's going to stop liking your photos on Facebook, and.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Like I always say, like, don't put that much weight
into social media stuff, because like, at the end of
the day, it is social media. But if she if
you had a conversation, then there was a clear stop
in engagement with you, It's like, that's just petty behavior. Yeah,
I also don't think it's I don't think what you
said was wrong. Like I think pointing out that you
(23:57):
have a biological grandson that it's important for y'all to
have an equal time with him just as much, you
know what.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
It's making me realize, though, I feel like so much
of our angst in life, and so much of our
anxiety comes from expectation from others. And I think that
when you really lower that bar, like when you just
don't like, of course, obviously you want your in laws
to have a relationship with your son, that's very obvious,
(24:26):
but for some reason they're not putting in the effort.
Who knows why, we don't know why, but you just
can't force people to care or be involved. And I
feel like if you just let that go, it's going
to bring you more peace. I feel like if you
keep forcing the issue, it's just going to create more tension.
(24:47):
She's clearly already stopped liking your photos, so she's pissed off.
And I just feel like the more you try and
force it, the worse it's going to get. So I
think the best that you can do is you yourself
can try to see them more. Maybe you know, you
arrange things and if they don't bite, like I don't
even bite, but like, if they're not wanting to take
you up on those offers, then I think you have
(25:08):
to like leave a bee.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I also think I was rereading this and you said
that your husband has never been close with this stepmom,
and so I think expecting someone's behavior to change just
because you have a kid, like the effort doesn't. Unfortunately,
it doesn't always change just due to having a baby,
Like sometimes a baby doesn't change the effort that someone's
willing to be put to put in. And I agree,
(25:31):
I think at some point, maybe you just need to
accept that her she is low effort in y'all's life,
and you see her when you see her, and don't
put pressure or expectations on it just because you had
a baby to expect her to change. It sounds like
this is who she is and who she's been, and
see her when you see her, and focus on the
(25:52):
people who do show up totally, and you don't have
to beg to show up. And it doesn't have to
be family totally totally.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Becca amen to that.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Sometimes it's chosen family.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Sometimes it's chosen family.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
So it just do you be like, sorry, you're navigating that.
So it's so hard when you want people to show up.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, no, it's just don't it's so disappointing. But I
think you just have to accept people as they are.
That's like one of the things Robbie taught me this
a long time ago, and it like, I know, it's
very simple, but like the way he said it to
me was like so groundbreaking. Like I was like, oh
my gosh, Yes, just accept people for who they are
(26:32):
and that's it. Don't expect more.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Yeah, either have them in your life or don't. Yeah,
but some people are just in your life and that.
But that just accept them for who they are and
how they are. Yeah, it's good stuff, man, not going
to get that anywhere else.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
It's good stuff. Okay, so we have one more. Do
you want me to read the friend hasn't met my baby?
Or overstepping mother in law?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Maybe we just did a mother in law one. So
maybe dew friend hasn't met my baby?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Okay, Day one, Scrubber, first time writing in. I'm really
confused about a situation with one of my closest friends.
We've been friends for over fifteen years, where bridesmaids in
each other's weddings, and have always talked about our never
ending bucket list of things to do together. I had
my first baby last fall, and somehow she still hasn't
met my daughter. We only live about forty minutes apart.
(27:23):
Throughout my maternity leave, she kept texting me as saying
she couldn't wait to meet the baby and couldn't believe
how much she'd grown. I told her my schedule was
completely flexible and gave her every opportunity to come over,
but she never made plans. The other day, I sent
her some new pictures of my daughter, and she never responded,
She's always on social media, so I know she saw them.
At this point, I just feel hurt. She's missed such
(27:44):
a big part of my life, and it feels like
she's made no effort. What would you do? Wait, what
are you gonna say?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm just so glad she's saying this because I am
this friend. Like, I don't want to meet people's babies,
because I know how protect people are over their babies
and like when they're not vaccinated yet or like whatever
germs like. I just know how protective people are. So
I'm never the person to initiate meeting somebody's baby because
(28:11):
I never want to put the other person in that
position to be uncomfortable. Do you get a saying? She did?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
She did give her permission, though, no, she didn't, she said.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
She said.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I told her my schedule was completely flexible and gave
her every opportunity to come over.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Yes, yes, but that's not she said. I told her
that my schedule is completely flexible. Uh, come over whenever
you want. You have to, like point blank be like,
I want you to meet my baby. Can you come
over Friday? It's so true.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
I texted Alley every day when can I went to
the hospital to meet the baby, and then I text
her after that to be like, Hey, do you want
me to come over? What can I help with? Even
if I'm not holding the baby, I can help with
laundry or spend time with my friend. You that needs
to change if that's how you handle that situation.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Yeah, because I'm scared because I know how to.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Hold the baby. Though you could just go spend time
with your friend and see the baby and help with
things around the house show up for them. Well, I'm
stressed because I haven't gotten to meet JoJo's baby, and
she lives in Puerto Rico, so it's it's a little
harder than the forty minute drive. And we've had made
plans and then things shifted and it didn't work out.
(29:17):
So I'm but forty minutes away. There's no excuse, TONI.
We're gonna have to talk about this after the podcast
because what we got to change that mindset for me personally,
because I don't know that that's happening.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Well, like, here's the thing. I don't think it's not.
It hasn't been any of like my best friends. I
was gonna say, I think it's it must be different.
Like if you had a baby, I would not feel
concerned about like having my germs on your baby. Well,
I'm thinking, actually, I'm thinking of people that in my life,
that life, you know, like my co work, like when
Sysney had her kids, or like people in my life
that like are in my life, but they're not my
(29:52):
best friends. Do you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I'm just saying that it's weird like show up for
people without needing to expose them to your germs.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
A friend of mine again not, she's not like a
best friend by any means. She had a baby and
I've like reach out a couple of times to like
catch up, and.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
She didn't catch up. Right now she's.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Offered like FaceTime like whatever, like just go help her, be.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Like hey, can I bring food? Can I send you anything?
Can I come help with laundry? Hold the baby while
you shower.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I don't think she wants me to hold the baby.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Okay, well then watch the baby, say Michelle.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Coming from somebody, it's not. I don't think it's necessarily
coming from a bad place. I think it might be
be coming from somebody who just doesn't want to like
overstep or I.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Don't think she's stepping. I don't even think she's stepping
to overstep, you know what, Michelle. I would reach out
and I would say, hey, I don't know if something's
happened and I missed out because my life has been
a whirlwin since having this baby, but I would love
for you to come over. I'd love to see you,
and I'd love for you to meet the baby. Is
there any time this week that you could come over?
If I haven't made it clear, i'd love to see you.
(30:54):
I'm just saying I think that's a way because my
feelings would be hurt. And I also think that maybe
you need to communicate a little. It seems like there
are people you need to be a little more direct with.
So yes, maybe just say like, I would love for
you to come over. We can have dinner and chat
and you can meet the baby. I'd love to catch up.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
M And if she leaves you like hanging on that,
then I think you just need to reassess your friendship.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Right, Yeah, that's that's respectfully, Yeah, respectfully. Okay, So we're
going to take a break and when we come back,
we are going to be playing a gay am I?
Who am I? And we're going to do the should
we should we tell people that we're like, should we
let people know who they are?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
People like to know? And then somebody like to play
a long so it's like, what do we do?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Let's just not tell We're just gonna let people play along. Okay,
And so if you want to join us, we'll be back.
And if you're saying goodbye, we love we love you
so much and we'll be back next week. Okay, taking
a break, be very back.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
We're back.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
We're back in action.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Do you want to go first? We're gonna ping ping pong.
All right, we decided that you can go first.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Okay, we're gonna recap every couple of questions. Am I
a man?
Speaker 2 (32:27):
No Am I a woman?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Yes? Am I a woman? Yes?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Am I an actress?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yes Am I a singer?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
No Am I a TV actress?
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yes am I an actress?
Speaker 2 (32:49):
No Like, I feel like you've been in movies, but
you're not. I wouldn't say you're like, that's not what
you're known for.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Fair?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Am I older than thirty?
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yes am I an influencer? Huh?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I mean yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah in a way?
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Okay, am I white? No Am I a model?
Speaker 2 (33:25):
No am I black.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Yes, okay, I'm gonna read. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna RecA.
I'm a woman. I'm not a singer. I'm not an actress.
I in a way, i am an influencer. I'm not
a model. I am a.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Woman who is an actress. I'm a black woman who
is a TV actress. I'm older than thirty.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
That's what we have. Okay. So if I'm not a singer,
I'm not an actress. I'm not a model. How do
people know me? How do people know me? Am I broadcaster?
Speaker 2 (34:00):
No? Am I on a current TV show? No?
Speaker 1 (34:04):
You are not okay? Okay, I'm not an actress. Am
I an EPO baby?
Speaker 4 (34:10):
No?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Have I been on a Shonda Rhyme show?
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yes? Am I a reality TV star?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
No?
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 2 (34:24):
No? You're so so hard a.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Damn nice?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Yeah, this is just set up. Am I in a
show called scandal? No?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
You're not okay? So I'm a woman, I'm not a singer,
I'm not an actress. I am in an away influencer.
I'm not a model. I am not a broadcaster. I'm
not an EPO baby, and I'm not a reality TV star?
Who am I am? I podcaster.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
I don't think, guys, this is a joke, like you're
very famous. Yeah, I'm a podcaster, right, Am I on
Gray's Anatomy?
Speaker 2 (35:09):
No?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Oh am I?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Am I white? Yes?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
No, way am I in? Oh my god? What is
that show called something about murder? Is it a show
about murders?
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yes? Yes? Am I a comedian?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
No? I think you're a comedian?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Am I?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Viola Davis?
Speaker 1 (35:36):
That's insane? I hate this game. We're done with this game.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yours is so hard. I don't even know who.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I don't even know what I do. I just know
I'm a white lady.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Think of the ultimate white lady. Think of someone when
someone has a white lady, who could come to mind?
Betty White, No, not her last name, not a Lott
name association.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Megan Markle getting in that direction.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
She's not white, by the way. Oh yeah, but you're
in a similar direction.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
What's her name? Uh, Princess whatever.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Princess of No. No, go back in the other direction
of Mega Markle like her new Netflix show.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
I have a new Netflix show.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Uh, I think you Martha stew.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
That's insane. Wow, that's insane.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
N Martha Stewart was insane. Sam Sam said.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Game, let me screw her over even more because I
wouldn't even even know what questions to ask for her either,
after you said after we said no to everybody, I
really don't know because celebrity chef and like homemaker when
it be no.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
I would never think that. Wow, wow, Sam has now
lost her privileges picking.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah that was That was a tough one. Okay, all right,
another one bites the dust.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Will I ever win this game? Is really the question
it should turn into will Tanya ever win this game?
Speaker 2 (37:26):
So? Know, we thought Viola Davis would be harder. Yeah,
I thought yours was gonna be hard well, I when
you I was narrowed down to Shonda Rhymes, I thought
it was Kerry Washington.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Yeah, once you said scam and then I thought it
was Bailey Ah. Yes, yeah, Well isn't that nice your
third guess?
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Yeah? No, I had. I had a bunch. All right, everybody,
thanks for playing along. We might take a break from
that just so Tanya can well.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
I'm not I might not be here next week.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Oh okay, so yeah, Tanya, she may or may not
be here next week. Stay.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Here's the thing about me in this this phase of life,
we can't really plan things because the last trip we
planned got really we were just out a lot of money,
and so we were like, we're not planning things, and
so whenever my period comes, we can plan a quick
little jaunt. So we might plan a quick little johnt
next week.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Okay, so Tanya might be out on a jaunt. And
I think as of now, what's confirmed is that Ali's
gonna come on and she's gonna talk about having a baby,
and we're gonna catch up and she's gonna either fill
in for Tanya or be here with me and Tanya.
So we'll be back next week, Tanya pending and we
love you all so much.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Wonderful b
Scrubbing In with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in full shaky, What hard Buddy?
Maybe Rato? Any new songs you're listening to right now?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I've just been listening to the new Grazy Gabrahms album
A lot.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Which songs do you love?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I love them all? Honestly, I don't skip. I love
MIDI Bar well, Yeah, I mean that's like the standout
Star and look at My Life and hit the Wall.
Those are like the standouts. But I really don't skip,
weirdly because a lot of them are slow and I
don't really I'm not like my ballad Era, but they're
all really good.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah, ballad Era have you. So there's a trend right
now where people will take they're taking photos of the
fall of like twenty twenty two, and they're like, I
took this on my walk back from class listening and
it was like during the mid Night's release.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
You know that was a great fall twenty twenty two when.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Midnights came out, Just like I love a Taylor Swush release.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It's a trend right now.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
What a weird thing, just like people sick with nostalgia
for like a specific time, place and feeling.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
My trend I'm seeing right now this is probably old,
but like the picture of yourself that could be a
oh yeah going around. Oh so it's still current.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I guess I just see it on stories.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Just maybe in a few months maybe maybe maybe.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
But you know what, this podcast is going to turn
nine years old in September, and I think we need
to have like some sort of something, okay, like like
a party, like a party, perhaps like a revam. Perhaps
we should do a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I mean, I don't know how long. I mean, we
have like a month to figure this out. But if
we did, like a little mini live show rent the
Roxy again.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Are you out of your mind? What? First of all,
those things take so much time to prepare, we can't
just whittle it away in a month. And second of all.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You're overestimating a little live show that that's not even
a thing.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And then I think the whole reason why we didn't
do any more live shows is because they didn't do well.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You know what, No need to squash my dreams. I'm
so sorry, just because I'm a dreamer.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Okay, I'm gonna let you plan it then, So in September, I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Not gonna plan it, but I would be down to
do something to celebrate. Yeah, almost a decade.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Literally almost a decade, Like that's crazy. So I don't know.
Maybe I'll look into something. Maybe just have a little
party that day for the podcast. I'm not sure, but
I'm feeling the vibe.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I was thinking of something that involves scrubbers, as they
are the reason we have had nine years of scrubbing it.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
How do we do it?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Maybe this is I was pitching if you want to
plan it, but all me, No, I'm not a planner.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah I know, but I do think we could.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Put a little something, a little podcast in the park
or something that'd be.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
What I'm saying is, maybe we just do like an
unofficial like Oh okay, okay, yeah, oh I thought you
got like a whole full ticketed like thing.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
No, I was joking about the roxy that was just.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Like a podcast in the park is super cute. Yeah,
a little Sunday soire. Let's get the dates, get the
date of our actual thing anniversary, and then we can yeah,
chill do like a little chill something.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yeah, we'll do a little uh session.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
What's it called Sunday session?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
No, what's it called when you make plans in your brainstorm?
A brainstorm session?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Brainstorm session.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Anyways, we have a Dear Bonnie episode where.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
She just wants to get straight in. We're to fun
fodder for Becca.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
We're trying to decide if we wanted to do a
game at the end, and Tanya last week or on Monday,
was like, well, some people don't like it, some like it,
and I'm like, you know what, We're going to do
it for those who like it, and if you don't
like it, then we'll just tell you when we're going
to do it and you can just.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
In the podcast.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, and that's just how life works sometimes, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
And we're going to give you the option. We're gonna
say it's starting now if you want to play along.
We love you, love to have you.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And I'm listening to the notes, you know, I know.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
But the thing is if you listen too much to
the notes, then you have fifty.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Year Oh no, But I think the notes are helping.
I think they're guiding this game into a path. Like
people did enjoy the one by one, but because it
was like.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I hated this format, So you're going to have people
who it said that someone commented I hated this format.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Well that person I saw more appreciation for the one
on one.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
All I'm saying is we'll just do it. What what
the majority ones, and then if they want to be
a part of it, great and if not, the it's okay.
It's just in our game era.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah we are. Games are fun and light.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
They're really fun. They're light. Tanya needs light, so y'all
quit dampening Tanya's lightness.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I need light and I need levity.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Okay, we're taking away Tanya's levity when we just need games.
Yes for our non competitive queen. Yes, so many years
ago as she said she's not competitive.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'm not. I lose every week and yet I'm coming
back here.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
But you care?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I do care.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Yeah, that's good. It's growth. If we're not growing, what
are we doing?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
My point exactly?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I know? Okay, shall we get started?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
You want to start? Do you want me to?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Why don't I start? Now? Why don't you start?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I just want to do the third one.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Okay. I'm in my forties and have been on and
off the dating apps for years since my last serious relationship.
I recently met a guy on Hinge who was married
for twenty years and has been divorced for about a
year and a half. We've only been seeing each other
for three three weeks, but he's very secure, knows he
wants a relationship and isn't afraid to show it. Dating
(06:05):
in my forties has made me more of an overthinker
and cautiously optimistic. We agree on all the big things
and everything feels so easy. But he's definitely more confident
about us than I am. At this point, I'm curious
how Becca let her guard down with Hailey. We're either
of you ever in a relationship where one person fell
all the way in while the other needed more time
even though they were really interested. Also, I'm definitely not
(06:27):
a Tanya. Oh but he is. He's already brought me flowers,
cute cards, and even dog treats for my two dogs. Tanya,
what are some of the little things you did earlier
on that Robbie really appreciated you. Both are such a
refreshing break in my week. Thank you so nice, so nice, Gosh,
I just never had my guard up with Haley, I
(06:51):
was just so in, so fast, so scary. But I
also think like sometimes it's a I think for some
people sometimes it's a slow burn. It wasn't for me
with my relationship or Falie, and it wasn't for you either,
But I think I get it. I think the older
(07:12):
you get, the more you have your way of doing things,
the more you're cautious about who you let in. And
I think the more time that goes by where you're
not opening yourself up and opening your heart, the more
inward you go. I think that's just the natural thing
to do.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And I also think people can get very comfortable being
single totally.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so having someone coming in
and doing nice things for you but also kind of
taking up your time and space probably does feel almost
like threatening in a way to this like version of
yourself that you've gotten so used to. So I wouldn't
be super hard on yourself. But I also feel like,
if you really like him and you're interested in him,
(07:52):
I wantn't necessarily let it scare you off. But I
also don't want you to get love bombed like that
happens too.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So does it sound like he's of bombing.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I'm just saying, like there's a fine line, you know,
of doing all the nice things and then it being
loved bombing. But what were some of the things that
you did for Robbie that he appreciated.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I always like had This is like so silly because
like he doesn't eat Reese's pieces like you know, but
like I always took notes on the things that he liked.
So Reeseist pieces, those little like.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Yeah, almost like an eminem b yes pieces.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Those were like his favorite candy, So I always like
had those in my apartment. There was like a green
juice he got from Creation, Like I would have like
the green juice there for him. I knew his favorite
type of apple, so I would always have like his
favorite type of apple there. I knew if he was
coming over, like on a Friday afternoon, and I knew
we were like going to get drinks or something, I
would always have or we were like going out, I
(08:48):
would have his favorite like drink ready for him when
he got to my apartment. I would leave him like
little notes. One night one time he came over and
I like left a bunch of different like notes, like
like one card in the kitchen and then like then
your next one is upstairs on the bed, and then
like I left him like little things and we're doing
like a paint, little paint thing upstairs, you.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Know, quite romantic, very thoughtful.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
It was also the pandemic, so I would go all
out for these things.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
You know, your dates were in the house. Yeah, I
think it's like I definitely feel like I was in
uh like I felt like with Robert, my guard was
very much up. I felt very prideful of my almost
like stoicism towards relationships. Like I felt almost like you
(09:40):
can't break down my wall. Yeah, and I don't know
why he was so patient, and what a what a
wonderful patient man he was, because I was is yeah,
well I haven't seen him in a long time, but
at the.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Imagine him, I'm he's still patient.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
But I think it's I think it's okay to let
your guard down, because even if this isn't your person,
and even if it's like he ends up not being
the guy or being not as wonderful as you think
he is, you don't even you're you're not even gonna
give yourself a chance to experience something great if you're
so closed off so I think it can feel scary,
(10:19):
but the worst that can happen is you move on.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I don't even know how to put my guard up.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Your guard is like locked, and it's like locked on the.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Down my guard. My guard doesn't even know how to
get out of the cage. So I can't I can't
help there.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I think just just enjoy it. And also, you've only
been dating for three weeks, and I don't think you
should close if you're like not one hundred percent in
on this guy. I don't think you should close yourself
off to meeting other people. You don't have to spread
your seed, but I think you can not put all
your eggs in one basket. Yes, disperse your eggs.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, but not figure not literally.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, your not your eggs. Yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
It always goes back there for me. Anyways, I'm gonna
do Janelle next, just because I want to do that one.
Then you can do the honest.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Okay, we're skipping around, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I'm picking and choosing, all right. This is from Jenelle.
This is mainly for Tanya, my fellow fair skin queen.
I'm extremely pale with dark hair, similar to Sophia Carson.
I've been using self tanner and getting spray tan since
I was eighteen and I'm thirty six now. It's exhausting,
and honestly, I hate feeling like I have to do it.
My pale skin keeps me from wearing dresses, shorts, and swimsuits,
(11:40):
and it really affects my confidence. When I skip the
self tanner, people always comment on how white I look.
It's so discouraging. I'm actually in tears writing this because
I'm trying to get ready for date night and I
hate how I look without a tan. I'm working through
this in therapy, but I'm hoping Tanya might have some
encouraging words. So it's so crazy because I who used
to get ray tans all the time, and then once
(12:03):
I realized how toxic they were, I stopped getting them.
Not to say I won't dabble. I might even get
one this week, that's right. So I don't like swear
them off. I'm just doing them, not as often as
I used to. In moderation, if you will, but me too.
(12:24):
My skin is like the color of milk. My legs
are the color of milk. Sometimes tanner, well, I am
a little tann right now. It's still from Cabo and
I also like walk outside, it's like a bazillion degree,
so I have a little bit of a tan. But
my legs, no, no, no, my legs are as white
as as white as a cloud. I mean, come on,
I'm just saying I don't it's pretty white anyways, Janelle,
(12:51):
here's the thing. Who cares what people think about your legs?
We all have different Like if your legs aren't too white,
then you have viicos veins. If you don't have vericose veins,
then your skin is blotchy. If your skin's not blotchy,
then you have razor burn. If you don't have razor burn,
then you have ingrown hairs on your bikini line. Like
(13:15):
you know what I mean, Like everybody has something, I
can guarantee you, even people that you look at and
you think, oh my gosh, they're probably so confident they
have whatever in their head, you know, cell you light,
whatever it may be. And I just think it's gonna
sound so silly, but I think you should practice doing
stuff with like shorts on, like going to the things
that are like low stakes, not going on dates with
(13:37):
shorts on, but like going to the store with shorts on.
Good doing exposure therapy, because and then you're gonna just
be like, why have I been wearing pants? Or like
why do I I just think the more you do something,
the more it becomes just like a habit.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I think when someone if someone makes a clummet, I
feel like you should just own it and be like, yeah,
I take really good care of my skin so that
I stay looking younger longer.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
People tell me all the time, WHOA, you're so white?
This all the time my friends. I'm like, oh my gosh,
your legs are so pale.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
But I'd like to clarify I've never.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Once I think you have one. I have never said that,
but I'm not offended by it. I'm my legs haven't
seen the light of days since like January twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Even when you go, should I do a spray tin?
I really don't want to, but my legs look so pale.
I'm like, do what you want if you feel good
with your legs looking all Like.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
All I'm saying is people comment on how white I
look often, and I don't care, Like I'm like, I'm
just like I know I haven't like, I haven't gone
my legs haven't seen the light of day.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, Jane, this is like one of those things where
we've talked about this on the podcast before, but like
when someone has kids and they are going on dates
and they feel like they have to, they almost are
like ashamed to say that they have kids instead of
being confident about it.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah, let's like play it out.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Am I are you Janelle? Or am I? No? No?
No not?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
You know like what the kids saying, Well, let's do
let's do you know? Okay? Fine, fine, fine, you know
I'll bet you know? Okay, no you okay? Because this
is your the guy on the date.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Oh okay, how do you know? Hi? Am I supposed to.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Say, like, wow, you you're like your legs are so pale?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Oh I do you know you look beautiful? Whoa, your
legs are really pale?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I know, tell me about I haven't been on vacation
in a minute.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I don't think vacation is the no, well no, because
I don't think she needs to be on vacation in
the sun.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
The only time my skin sees the sun.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I don't think she like I think she's protective of
her skin, is what I'm sensing. Oh, or maybe she
just doesn't tand maybe she just burns, so maybe.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
It is harder. Yeah, this is harder than I thought. Jane,
I'm so glad we're playing this out.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, okay, you know you look beautiful. Oh your legs
are really pale.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I know is beautiful.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Wow. That that's one way to do it.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Mm hmm. I watched me in thirty years without the
wrinkly wrinkles over my knees, wondering.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
If okay, I'm really trying to play that. I want
I want her to know what to say if someone
ever says.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
That again, is on a date. I feel like it's
just she's more self conscious about it. It's not like
the guys.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
It's not saying that's I'm saying. But she said people
have said it, and so have.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Oh my gosh, I've heard it
time and time again.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I think you should just say, yeah, you should see
what happens when I go in the sun. I burn
like crazy and I'm just I'm rocking it, just like
own what you're doing, Like own the fact that you're like, yeah,
I've always done spray TNDS and I'm I'm this is
my exposure therapy, and I want to like feel comfortable
in my skin.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think that's the whole thing. And it's so much
easier said than done. I know, like when confidence about something,
but just know that you are protecting your skin. And
there's other people who are just like worship the sun
and their skin does not look good. And I I
bet your beautiful light skin looks so healthy and fresh
and you're taking care of yourself, which is important. And
(17:07):
I think on special occasions, like if you want to
if you want to put self tanner on, I don't
think that's a bad thing, like makeup on because I
want to feel better. Yeah, it's like make up for
your body. But I think if you're tired of doing that,
I also think it's important to love who you are
without that. And I think that's the practice of like
leaning into the confidence of the journey of getting confident
(17:31):
about your skin tone.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, and like you said, she said she's working on
it in therapy. I think that's like a huge that's
going to be huge for you. Just like talking it
out because at the end of the day, it really
is your mindset. Your mindset is everything in life, and
if you aren't insecure about how pale you are, it's
not gonna matter.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
I actually wish Easton was here today because Alison is
really protective of her skin. She's really light skin and
won't go in the sun, and she has the most
she looks like a porcelain doll. Like Allison is the
most beautiful skin and she's so protective of it. So
I guess it's also changing your mindset of how you
view lighter skin and pale skin, because like when I
(18:07):
see people with light skin, I'm like, wow, they really
take care of themselves. Like I'm never like oh my god,
I'm just like wow, they really care about their skin
health and you know what they're doing for it. So
I think it's reshifting your brain chemistry. And I also
think doing therapy is great. And I also think go
outside with a short sleeve shirt or or shorts on,
(18:27):
and like Tanya said, go to the store, go run
an errand and if someone says anything, be like totally.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, I know, I see it every day.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah. Yeah. So I think you are on a beautiful
journey and I'm proud of you because being confident in
something takes vulnerability.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
It's gonna be a journey and you're gonna feel empowered
through it.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
It is so true though, It's like everybody has something,
you know what I mean, everybody has something. I didn't
even do a spraytann for my wedding. I was very
pale at my wedding.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah. I don't remember you being pale at your wedding.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, look back some of the photos. My skin and
my dress very similar.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I thought you just had a long dressold. What I
thought you just had a long dressold thinking about your reception.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
I've had my wedding.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You couldn't even str legs in your wedding.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
My arms, my arms, my arms, I know.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
But you're quite like blow stuff on you.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah, it's fine. I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
A bad example, not worried about it. Okay, we're gonna
take a break. But we have an ex husband, ex
husband's now X message someone I don't even understand. That
feels like drama. Stay tuned, we're back, We're back, all right.
(20:00):
A couple of days ago, I got a random DM
on Instagram from a woman who told me she's been
dating my ex husband for the past two years. She
said she had a lot of questions and asked if
i'd meet her for coffee. I wasn't comfortable meeting, but
I did agree to message with her. As we talked,
I realized he told her a completely different version of
why our marriage ended. He told her we divorced because
(20:21):
our work schedules weren't compatible. The truth is he cheated
on me. She also shared that he cheated on her
and that she experienced emotional manipulation throughout their relationship. It
was honestly surreal comparing notes and realizing we had lived
through so many of the same things. I told her.
I thought it was healthiest for us to stop talking
and wish her the best, but she's still asking if
(20:43):
we can meet in person. Part of me feels for
her because I know exactly what she's going through. The
other part of me feels like I've already said everything
I needed to say and don't want to reopen a
chapter of my life I've worked really hard to close.
Do I owe her a coffee or is it okay
to kindly say no and protect my own peace?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Very strong opinion on this, Yeah, listen, you're universal board.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
She seems seems like she's not in the relationship anymore.
Seems like they also broke up, so she's processing what
you've already been through and you don't need to be
her guiding light. Is my opinion.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Zero. This person is not your friend, that this person
is not your family. This person is if you want to,
if you wanted to talk to her to get to
feel better about the situation or to get clarity or whatever,
then by all means, but you protecting your piece is
the biggest thing.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I think there's a way of saying it to where
she doesn't feel like alone and dismissed. But you can
just say, hey, like, I don't really have anything else
to say. I don't see a need for us to
meet in person, and I don't really want to just
like what you said, I don't really want to open
a chapter that I've worked really hard to close. But
I wish you the best and I hope you're able
to find closure like I have. Yeah, and just you know,
(21:58):
let her know that simple support her from afar. But
you don't need to meet up with her.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Yeah, that's easy for me. Bye bye, And.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I'm glad that you have moved on because tutors.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Are just the worst. Yeah, they're just they're just lack
of character. Really and that's not what we want for
our Scrubby and Queen. No, okay, this is from Alyssa
issues with step mother in law. My in laws live
about an hour and a half away from my husband,
our two year old son, and me. My husband has
(22:32):
never been very close with his stepmom, even though she's
been in his life for almost thirty years. She has
three kids who live nearby, and they've all been and
they've always been the priority. I hope things would change
once we had our son, but they really haven't. They've
only driven to see him once for his first birthday party,
while they see her kids all the time. A few
weeks ago, I finally told my step mother in law
(22:55):
that I really wanted them to be more involved in
our son's life. I also pointed out that he is
my father in law's only biological grandson, and that really
upset her. Looking back, I realized that was probably triggering
and I regret saying it in that way. We talked
it through and she insists that we're fine, but it
doesn't feel that way. We haven't really spoken since she
stopped liking my posts about my son on Facebook and
(23:15):
didn't even wish my husband a happy birthday. My son's
second birthday party is coming up, and I'm nervous since
she says we're good. Do I just let it go
or do I bring it up again?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Man? Yeah? Also sorry, But like she seems very pettious
if she's going to stop liking your photos on Facebook, and.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Like I always say, like, don't put that much weight
into social media stuff, because like, at the end of
the day, it is social media. But if she if
you had a conversation, then there was a clear stop
in engagement with you, It's like, that's just petty behavior. Yeah,
I also don't think it's I don't think what you
said was wrong. Like I think pointing out that you
(23:57):
have a biological grandson that it's important for y'all to
have an equal time with him just as much, you
know what.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
It's making me realize, though, I feel like so much
of our angst in life, and so much of our
anxiety comes from expectation from others. And I think that
when you really lower that bar, like when you just
don't like, of course, obviously you want your in laws
to have a relationship with your son, that's very obvious,
(24:26):
but for some reason they're not putting in the effort.
Who knows why, we don't know why, but you just
can't force people to care or be involved. And I
feel like if you just let that go, it's going
to bring you more peace. I feel like if you
keep forcing the issue, it's just going to create more tension.
(24:47):
She's clearly already stopped liking your photos, so she's pissed off.
And I just feel like the more you try and
force it, the worse it's going to get. So I
think the best that you can do is you yourself
can try to see them more. Maybe you know, you
arrange things and if they don't bite, like I don't
even bite, but like, if they're not wanting to take
you up on those offers, then I think you have
(25:08):
to like leave a bee.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I also think I was rereading this and you said
that your husband has never been close with this stepmom,
and so I think expecting someone's behavior to change just
because you have a kid, like the effort doesn't. Unfortunately,
it doesn't always change just due to having a baby,
Like sometimes a baby doesn't change the effort that someone's
willing to be put to put in. And I agree,
(25:31):
I think at some point, maybe you just need to
accept that her she is low effort in y'all's life,
and you see her when you see her, and don't
put pressure or expectations on it just because you had
a baby to expect her to change. It sounds like
this is who she is and who she's been, and
see her when you see her, and focus on the
(25:52):
people who do show up totally, and you don't have
to beg to show up. And it doesn't have to
be family totally totally.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Becca amen to that.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Sometimes it's chosen family.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Sometimes it's chosen family.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
So it just do you be like, sorry, you're navigating that.
So it's so hard when you want people to show up.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, no, it's just don't it's so disappointing. But I
think you just have to accept people as they are.
That's like one of the things Robbie taught me this
a long time ago, and it like, I know, it's
very simple, but like the way he said it to
me was like so groundbreaking. Like I was like, oh
my gosh, Yes, just accept people for who they are
(26:32):
and that's it. Don't expect more.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Yeah, either have them in your life or don't. Yeah,
but some people are just in your life and that.
But that just accept them for who they are and
how they are. Yeah, it's good stuff, man, not going
to get that anywhere else.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
It's good stuff. Okay, so we have one more. Do
you want me to read the friend hasn't met my baby?
Or overstepping mother in law?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Maybe we just did a mother in law one. So
maybe dew friend hasn't met my baby?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Okay, Day one, Scrubber, first time writing in. I'm really
confused about a situation with one of my closest friends.
We've been friends for over fifteen years, where bridesmaids in
each other's weddings, and have always talked about our never
ending bucket list of things to do together. I had
my first baby last fall, and somehow she still hasn't
met my daughter. We only live about forty minutes apart.
(27:23):
Throughout my maternity leave, she kept texting me as saying
she couldn't wait to meet the baby and couldn't believe
how much she'd grown. I told her my schedule was
completely flexible and gave her every opportunity to come over,
but she never made plans. The other day, I sent
her some new pictures of my daughter, and she never responded,
She's always on social media, so I know she saw them.
At this point, I just feel hurt. She's missed such
(27:44):
a big part of my life, and it feels like
she's made no effort. What would you do? Wait, what
are you gonna say?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm just so glad she's saying this because I am
this friend. Like, I don't want to meet people's babies,
because I know how protect people are over their babies
and like when they're not vaccinated yet or like whatever
germs like. I just know how protective people are. So
I'm never the person to initiate meeting somebody's baby because
(28:11):
I never want to put the other person in that
position to be uncomfortable. Do you get a saying? She did?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
She did give her permission, though, no, she didn't, she said.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
She said.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I told her my schedule was completely flexible and gave
her every opportunity to come over.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Yes, yes, but that's not she said. I told her
that my schedule is completely flexible. Uh, come over whenever
you want. You have to, like point blank be like,
I want you to meet my baby. Can you come
over Friday? It's so true.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
I texted Alley every day when can I went to
the hospital to meet the baby, and then I text
her after that to be like, Hey, do you want
me to come over? What can I help with? Even
if I'm not holding the baby, I can help with
laundry or spend time with my friend. You that needs
to change if that's how you handle that situation.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Yeah, because I'm scared because I know how to.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Hold the baby. Though you could just go spend time
with your friend and see the baby and help with
things around the house show up for them. Well, I'm
stressed because I haven't gotten to meet JoJo's baby, and
she lives in Puerto Rico, so it's it's a little
harder than the forty minute drive. And we've had made
plans and then things shifted and it didn't work out.
(29:17):
So I'm but forty minutes away. There's no excuse, TONI.
We're gonna have to talk about this after the podcast
because what we got to change that mindset for me personally,
because I don't know that that's happening.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Well, like, here's the thing. I don't think it's not.
It hasn't been any of like my best friends. I
was gonna say, I think it's it must be different.
Like if you had a baby, I would not feel
concerned about like having my germs on your baby. Well,
I'm thinking, actually, I'm thinking of people that in my life,
that life, you know, like my co work, like when
Sysney had her kids, or like people in my life
that like are in my life, but they're not my
(29:52):
best friends. Do you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I'm just saying that it's weird like show up for
people without needing to expose them to your germs.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
A friend of mine again not, she's not like a
best friend by any means. She had a baby and
I've like reach out a couple of times to like
catch up, and.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
She didn't catch up. Right now she's.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Offered like FaceTime like whatever, like just go help her, be.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Like hey, can I bring food? Can I send you anything?
Can I come help with laundry? Hold the baby while
you shower.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I don't think she wants me to hold the baby.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Okay, well then watch the baby, say Michelle.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Coming from somebody, it's not. I don't think it's necessarily
coming from a bad place. I think it might be
be coming from somebody who just doesn't want to like
overstep or I.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Don't think she's stepping. I don't even think she's stepping
to overstep, you know what, Michelle. I would reach out
and I would say, hey, I don't know if something's
happened and I missed out because my life has been
a whirlwin since having this baby, but I would love
for you to come over. I'd love to see you,
and I'd love for you to meet the baby. Is
there any time this week that you could come over?
If I haven't made it clear, i'd love to see you.
(30:54):
I'm just saying I think that's a way because my
feelings would be hurt. And I also think that maybe
you need to communicate a little. It seems like there
are people you need to be a little more direct with.
So yes, maybe just say like, I would love for
you to come over. We can have dinner and chat
and you can meet the baby. I'd love to catch up.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
M And if she leaves you like hanging on that,
then I think you just need to reassess your friendship.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Right, Yeah, that's that's respectfully, Yeah, respectfully. Okay, So we're
going to take a break and when we come back,
we are going to be playing a gay am I?
Who am I? And we're going to do the should
we should we tell people that we're like, should we
let people know who they are?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
People like to know? And then somebody like to play
a long so it's like, what do we do?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Let's just not tell We're just gonna let people play along. Okay,
And so if you want to join us, we'll be back.
And if you're saying goodbye, we love we love you
so much and we'll be back next week. Okay, taking
a break, be very back.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
We're back.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
We're back in action.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Do you want to go first? We're gonna ping ping pong.
All right, we decided that you can go first.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Okay, we're gonna recap every couple of questions. Am I
a man?
Speaker 2 (32:27):
No Am I a woman?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Yes? Am I a woman? Yes?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Am I an actress?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yes Am I a singer?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
No Am I a TV actress?
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yes am I an actress?
Speaker 2 (32:49):
No Like, I feel like you've been in movies, but
you're not. I wouldn't say you're like, that's not what
you're known for.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Fair?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Am I older than thirty?
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yes am I an influencer? Huh?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I mean yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah in a way?
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Okay, am I white? No Am I a model?
Speaker 2 (33:25):
No am I black.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Yes, okay, I'm gonna read. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna RecA.
I'm a woman. I'm not a singer. I'm not an actress.
I in a way, i am an influencer. I'm not
a model. I am a.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Woman who is an actress. I'm a black woman who
is a TV actress. I'm older than thirty.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
That's what we have. Okay. So if I'm not a singer,
I'm not an actress. I'm not a model. How do
people know me? How do people know me? Am I broadcaster?
Speaker 2 (34:00):
No? Am I on a current TV show? No?
Speaker 1 (34:04):
You are not okay? Okay, I'm not an actress. Am
I an EPO baby?
Speaker 4 (34:10):
No?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Have I been on a Shonda Rhyme show?
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yes? Am I a reality TV star?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
No?
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 2 (34:24):
No? You're so so hard a.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Damn nice?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Yeah, this is just set up. Am I in a
show called scandal? No?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
You're not okay? So I'm a woman, I'm not a singer,
I'm not an actress. I am in an away influencer.
I'm not a model. I am not a broadcaster. I'm
not an EPO baby, and I'm not a reality TV star?
Who am I am? I podcaster.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
I don't think, guys, this is a joke, like you're
very famous. Yeah, I'm a podcaster, right, Am I on
Gray's Anatomy?
Speaker 2 (35:09):
No?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Oh am I?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Am I white? Yes?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
No, way am I in? Oh my god? What is
that show called something about murder? Is it a show
about murders?
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yes? Yes? Am I a comedian?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
No? I think you're a comedian?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Am I?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Viola Davis?
Speaker 1 (35:36):
That's insane? I hate this game. We're done with this game.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yours is so hard. I don't even know who.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I don't even know what I do. I just know
I'm a white lady.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Think of the ultimate white lady. Think of someone when
someone has a white lady, who could come to mind?
Betty White, No, not her last name, not a Lott
name association.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Megan Markle getting in that direction.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
She's not white, by the way. Oh yeah, but you're
in a similar direction.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
What's her name? Uh, Princess whatever.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Princess of No. No, go back in the other direction
of Mega Markle like her new Netflix show.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
I have a new Netflix show.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Uh, I think you Martha stew.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
That's insane. Wow, that's insane.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
N Martha Stewart was insane. Sam Sam said.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Game, let me screw her over even more because I
wouldn't even even know what questions to ask for her either,
after you said after we said no to everybody, I
really don't know because celebrity chef and like homemaker when
it be no.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
I would never think that. Wow, wow, Sam has now
lost her privileges picking.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah that was That was a tough one. Okay, all right,
another one bites the dust.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Will I ever win this game? Is really the question
it should turn into will Tanya ever win this game?
Speaker 2 (37:26):
So? Know, we thought Viola Davis would be harder. Yeah,
I thought yours was gonna be hard well, I when
you I was narrowed down to Shonda Rhymes, I thought
it was Kerry Washington.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Yeah, once you said scam and then I thought it
was Bailey Ah. Yes, yeah, Well isn't that nice your
third guess?
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Yeah? No, I had. I had a bunch. All right, everybody,
thanks for playing along. We might take a break from
that just so Tanya can well.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
I'm not I might not be here next week.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Oh okay, so yeah, Tanya, she may or may not
be here next week. Stay.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Here's the thing about me in this this phase of life,
we can't really plan things because the last trip we
planned got really we were just out a lot of money,
and so we were like, we're not planning things, and
so whenever my period comes, we can plan a quick
little jaunt. So we might plan a quick little johnt
next week.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Okay, so Tanya might be out on a jaunt. And
I think as of now, what's confirmed is that Ali's
gonna come on and she's gonna talk about having a baby,
and we're gonna catch up and she's gonna either fill
in for Tanya or be here with me and Tanya.
So we'll be back next week, Tanya pending and we
love you all so much.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Wonderful b
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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