September 1, 2026 • 49 mins
While Becca’s in Thailand, Tanya called in Ashley I for some MUCH NEEDED girl chat!
We dive into the theories that the Jonas Brothers will be the next pop act at the Sphere, Ashley opens up about her first season as a Real Housewife, and Tanya makes a strong case about the importance of “love” in Love Island.
Plus, could Roby be the officiant for Hayley and Becca’s wedding???
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and Tanya Radd, an iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And two-time People's Choice Award-winning podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hello, everybody. We are scrubbing in. Yes, that's my voice
two times because Becca is out. She is officially in
Thailand and she'll be gone for two weeks of the podcast.
But I am very excited because we have a co-host
today that I love so much.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
And I....
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I was thinking about who I wanted to do the
podcast with. And I was like, I really just, I
was talking to our producer, Sam. I was like, I
just want somebody to like laugh and have like girl
chat with. And this is the perfect guest to do
those things. So please welcome Ashley Ai to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hi, I feel so pressure on, you know what I mean?
I feel like pressure on because you guys are the
most joy filled, um, best girl talkers ever. So are you.
I mean, thanks. It's been a while. You know what
I mean? Because I used to have a Girl Talk podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
It's been like over a year.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Well, now you can bring it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Now you can bring it here. Yeah. Okay. Let's do it.
Do we have hot topics and stuff? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
So much. Well, there's like so much to cover. And
first of all, I want to say thank you to
the scrubbers because we usually record our podcast on Mondays.
The past two Mondays, I'm doing a little something different
with my trying to conceive era.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I'm doing something a little different this month, which requires
me to be going to like doctor's appointments and things.
So we're doing a recording on a Tuesday, releasing this
on a Tuesday. I just want to say thank you
to the scrubbers for understanding and being flexible with my schedule,
but we should be right on track. Oh no, next
week's Labor Day. So we'll be back on Tuesday next week.
But I just wanted to say thank you. Cause I
(01:52):
know like I get in my routine with my podcast.
Like I love having my certain podcasts that I listen
to specific days that they drop. So when you go
off your format, it like, really messes with you as
a consumer, like me as a listener. So I don't
like doing that to our scrubbers.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Okay. So Tanya, what day do you listen to Hey Jonas?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Um, every day of the week. What day do you
listen to Hey Jonas?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Well, so they've been coming out with multiple a week
where I'm like, Hey boss, to all of us, Amy, like,
are you guys, uh, like, this is a lot.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Like you listen every time they drop one.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
No. So what I do, I listen to every single episode,
but because I want to be in a certain mood
when those come out, I kind of bank them. Like
sometimes I'll go like 10 days without listening to them.
I also like watching those podcasts instead of just listening.
Obvious reasons. And I also like want to be in
(02:51):
a place where I'm happy and zen because I don't
want to ever associate Jonas with a time that I'm stressed.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I mean, but it's not how you like, I feel
like that's how I like listen to everything is like,
I have to be in certain moods. I have to
kind of just like know what's going on. I don't,
I have like my specific things I do when I walk,
when I'm driving. You do?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah. Okay. So do you listen to music when you
walk or podcast when you walk?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Podcast when I walk.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Okay. When do you listen to music then?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
When I'm working out.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Well, I don't work out. So that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Okay. Speaking of Jonas, I want, well, I mean, I
just feel like there's like so much to talk to
you about, but so I'm going to prioritize, but you
started off with Jonas. So I'm going to start off
with Jonas. We actually got to see each other last
week in New York at Madison Square Garden. Can you
believe that was last week?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Well, it's almost, yeah, it's like a week and a
half ago. And let me just say that was one
of the most joy filled days of my life.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So I was trying to, so Becca's never been to
a Jonas Brothers concert before.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah. So I've learned at the Scrubbing It podcast. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
And I'm like, how have you never been to one?
First of all, and I'm like, it's such a, because
I mean, you've gone, we've gone to other concerts. There's
something in the room, in the, like the vibe of
a Jonas Brothers concert that really cannot be replicated at
another show.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
No. And- Anybody who goes for the first time kind
of picks up on that. When Jared went to his
first couple back in 2019, he's like, it truly is
like the happiest place in the world. It's like a
Disney world for music and fandom.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah. And even if you don't know any, like Robbie
also didn't know like any of the songs and he
still had like the best time because the energy was
just like infectious.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
It's something about the fans, like those fans. They're just...
They resonate with me. I relate to them so much.
There's just like something in the quality of people that,
that the Jonas brothers attract. So you're just like in
a room with the best girls ever. Ever. Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Wait, what's your Jonas ranking? Have we talked about this?
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Well, I don't like to rank now. You know what
I mean?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Well, because it's just like straight up wrong. Like I
don't want to rank them. Oh, you're talking about as brothers?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
No, like who's your favorite? Like one, two, three, like
your favorite. Not like ranking, like hotness, like ranking favoritism.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, like I'm okay to rank hotness, but I'm not
like not okay to rank favoritism because like I love
them all. Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I guess rank hotness then.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Well, I mean, Joe has always been like Joe, you know,
to me, like he's always been the hot, he's always
been my celebrity crush for 18 years.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And you married somebody that looks kind of like him.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I mean, right.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And I joke all the time. Like, you know, when
I get on Instagram and I'm just like, look at
this video, like, ah, um, I'm like, thank God you
like have such a resemblance. Like you look more like them, babe.
And like, he looks like Joe of most of all
of them, but you look more like them than even
Franklin does.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
He looks like he really could be the fourth brother. And, um, yeah,
he like is not weirded out at all. He's like, yeah,
I mean, it's nice that there's such a, I don't want.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
To say I love them so much. Like it like
actually hurts.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
No, I know. Like it brings me so much joy
to my life. And I love the fact that you
are like quite friendly with them. And then you also
just get on your mic and you're just like, hi,
I love you so much. Like you love them, love them,
no shame. And that's how I am too. It's just
the love. It's 18 years of just.
(06:35):
Making my life better.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Yes. Making my life better. I know. And like, it's
so funny because I find myself going between this like,
fan and friend with them at times that like is
so weird like sometimes I'm like I'm sitting in Kevin's
dressing room having like a Aperol spritz and I'm just
like I'm sitting in Kevin's dressing room having an Aperol
spritz you know what I mean like.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
That's why it's funny for me to watch you because
like you embrace the fact that you're like a friend
and fan and one and you actually separate it which
is kind of amazing.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Like you would think as a friend, it'd be embarrassing
that I'm like standing so close to the stage, screaming
the words out to their songs, like making eye contact
with them and belting out the lyrics and like crying
at times. But like, I have no shame. And then
when they tell me that they can see me and like,
(07:30):
they like, it like makes them happy when they see
me having like such a good time. I'm like, nah,
that's like, that's where I need to be.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It's just, it's so soul filling. Yeah. Um, and yeah,
there was something about the, that MSG concert where I
was just like, that is what I needed during that week.
It oddly put like something in perspective for me as
sounds so weird as Jonas concerts, like often do where
(07:58):
it's just like high quality, like high vibration.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
And it like tells you like to prioritize the high
vibrations in your life.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Did you wait? Did you see them at the sphere
watching the Backstreet Boys?
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I like couldn't handle it, Tanya. Now that's where my
heart and brain exploded because obviously I love the Backstreet
Boys with so much of my heart. I love Jonas
with so much of my heart. And then I love
new kids. Like, I mean, I'm just a boy band girl, right?
Like I fully love each and every chapter of boy
band dumb. And to see Donnie Wahlberg greet the Jonas
(08:36):
Brothers in the box at a Backstreet Boys concert, like
I just couldn't handle it. I was like, I actually
can't think too deeply about this.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
So like I specifically didn't ask anybody on the team
that I know any questions about this because I want
to like theorize as like an actual fan. But like
them going to the sphere, I'm like, are they checking
this out to maybe like have a residency there?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Did Nick not go last year? I feel like Nick
did go to Backstreet last year, but by himself.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Having all three of them there, it felt like they
were taking notes and observing it in a way like, oh,
maybe this is something that we could do at some point.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Well, do you remember that internet rumor or speculation from
a couple months ago where Nick said, when we have
our Spear residency, and then he said.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
He said that?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
He said- I mean, you know, down the road if
that ever happens. But then people started to like kind
of dissect that statement. I wonder how many years it
takes to plan one of those.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Did you go back straight last?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Did you go back straight? I'm going to go in
January again. I wasn't able to this summer and I
want to take my dad and my sister. So we're taking,
you know, figuring out a time and make it all go.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
If the Jonas brothers have a Las Vegas residency, I'm
going to.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
You and I are going to move to Vegas.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It's going to like hop on a plane every weekend. Like,
are you joking? That would be so fun.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
We could make this entire podcast probably just Jonas Topic.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
But, like, I don't even think that that would be
something they were in talks for just because we have
this whole tour in front of us right now.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I feel like this would be a couple years down
the road.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah, it's not going to happen anytime soon.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, I'm wondering that, like, how many... Does it take, like,
at least a year to come up with those visuals
in that scale? No. Because... What are you talking about?
You don't think it takes a year to come up
with those sphere visuals?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Not when you have Jonas brains. So maybe next fall
we'll get the sphere? I'm going to move on from
the Jonas Brothers. Are you going to any Harry shows
at Madison Square Garden during his residency there?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Okay, so he has 30 shows, right? And how far
are they spread out?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
That's a Mark question. I'm going to have to have
him look, but they are pretty spread out. It started,
it started like last week and I think he goes
through definitely through Halloween cause he's doing Harryween. So probably
end of October. It's probably the last one.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Okay. This is straight up honest. I love Harry Styles
for like the entity that he is, but like when
his hair is as short as it is right now,
it just doesn't cut it for me. Oh wow. I know. Whoops.
I'm so sorry. It's just, and, and Tonya, I really
miss old Harry. Like I miss 2016 Harry. Like I
(11:35):
love like rock star, like dirty, grungy, like dark, like
leather Harry and not like, like button down dresses. Harry.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh, I love this Harry. And I love this album.
I know this album was a little bit controversial, but like,
I really loved it.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Oh, see, I listened to it once and I was
just like, it's not, OK, we're going.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
To move on because like this is just like this
is this is offensive.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
We move on from this whole pop star thing. Do
you love the new Jonas song and the fact that
like every single time? they come out with new music.
I'm never disappointed. That's the greatest, one of the greatest
components about them.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Never disappointed.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Never disappointed. Like every album. I'm just like, you deliver
every time. No. Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
I have to just say this.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Consistency.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So Ashley was at the Friday night show of the
Jonas Brothers Madison Square Garden. And I was, I stayed
Thursday and Saturday.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
So Friday I left to like, go have dinner. Cause
I just needed like a date night with Robbie and
In the city.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Three nights in a row is a lot even for me.
You want to savor it. You want to enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
But the night that I left, I missed Rollercoaster, which
is one of my favorite Jonas Brothers songs ever. And
I'm like, that song like hits on another level that
like nobody really understands. And the fact that I missed
it really like hit me hard.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I know. I'm so sorry about that.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
And they didn't do it the next night.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
It's also one of my top five favorite songs. They need... Guys, hi.
Ashley and Tanya here. Really pitching the idea that it
needs to round out the tour. It needs to be
the last song every night because... It brings the burning
up tour and then the new era together. Yeah. And
then we're like all emotional thinking about how we've been
(13:21):
on this actual roller coaster for so many years.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
And our own roller coasters of life. Of life.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah. Together alongside them and like all the albums representing
like different chapters of our lives. Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
And with that, we're done with the Jonas Brothers.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
But I love Harry and I would like to see
Harry if given the opportunity. It's just one of those
things that I don't have. Like, if I can't make
it work, then I like won't make it work. You
know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
It's fine. We're not going to fight over this.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I'm actually like, I'm interested. I'm like, you are this era, Harry.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
We are going to take a quick break. But when
we come back, I want to talk about The Real
Housewives because... When I interviewed Ashley at Madison Square Garden,
the cheers and the crowd were going so loud for Ashley.
They told me to like extend with her because everybody
was like cheering so loud.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
And that's the coolest thing I've ever heard. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
So I'm going to talk housewives when we come back.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
We're back. Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
We are here. Also, by the way, do you, you
still go by Ashley? I, right?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah. I will always go by Ashley. I sentimentally attached.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Ashley Haven.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Not really. Like sometimes, like if I'm doing something hosting
alongside Jared or we're like in something together, school stuff
for the kids, I'll do Ashley. I can Eddie Haven,
but I never legally changed it.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
It's a pain in the ass. You did recently, right?
I did.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Yeah. Your contact info on my phone just changed. I know.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Like, is that aggressive that everybody has this like gnarly
picture of me in like a blue suit?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I love it. I was changing it.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And Robbie was like, maybe make it like professional, you know?
And I was like, but I'm like, yes, I have
a job, but like my job isn't so professional.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
No, the blue suit's great. It's a suit and it's bright. Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like I have the same one. It's a
house with CB. You and you're my house with CB sister.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Yeah. Um, no, but like I change it now. My
TSA pre-check doesn't work. So I have to like go
like figure it all out.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I'm not going to do it, but it's very sweet
and traditional of you to do it. Like I would
like to do it, but I don't want to go
through all of that.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I wouldn't have done it if I really wanted to
make rad my middle name and you can't, you can't
do that. You just can't do that unless you go
through the whole process. I was like, if I'm going
to go through the whole process, I'm going to do
the whole shebang.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Did you drop your actual middle name? What is your
actual middle name?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I never had a middle name.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Oh, you never had one.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I don't want to drop Nicole.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Who calls you Ashley Nicole?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I don't know. I just like Ashley Nicole like an Eddie.
That's like just together.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
You do you.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But like, yeah, it was... such a long process. And like, still,
I feel like I finally finished it. Like I did everything,
like my credit cards, my bank, my health insurance, everything.
And then TSA pre-check, I keep getting like smacked with like, no,
you don't have it. I'm like, I did all this,
but okay. Anyways. So real housewives of Rhode Island, we
all watched you on the bachelor and you were like
(16:33):
bachelor darling. Now you're a real housewife, which is like
a whole other Like it literally is a whole other world.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
That was the percentage.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Your first season, were you happy with how you came across?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah. I told everybody, like the producers and such, I
was like, thank you for like actually showing my real self.
Like I'm like, I didn't have a huge role, which
was fine by me. But I was glad that what
was shown was very authentic to myself and how I
thought things went down.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
What did you learn about yourself, like, watching season one back?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
It wasn't so much watching it back. It was being
in it. And that is that, like, I... I don't
know if I'm... Am I so non-confrontational? Or am I
surrounded by very confrontational people? Like, I just... I'm not
highly bothered. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
It takes a lot to rattle you.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah. Like, it... I'm not, I'm sensitive in the way
that like I cry easily and like I am more empathic,
but I am not very sensitive to what other people
like say about me. I am sensitive when it comes
to like affecting like my family.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Did that, did you, did other people's opinions about your
family bother you?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
No, but I think that like, I mean, not in
season one or anything, but I think that I'm more
defensive when it comes to that stuff.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
And when it's just about me, I can like laugh
at myself pretty easily.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
But when it comes to anything about your family, you're like, no, no.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah. It's like we have kids now, you know, we're
not just like this bachelor, like ha ha reality couple.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah. So you liked your experience this round?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
The experience itself of filming, I found to be far
more challenging than Bachelor. There are two, there's Bachelor, you
are like submerged in a whole different world and you
like leave your regular world and you submerge yourself into
another world. And it's kind of like separate entities with Housewives.
(18:52):
It's documenting your life But I still was able to
separate during season one my filming life and my real life.
I don't know. This is so weird to describe, Tanya.
Because I was so much more... emotional in bachelor world
because like love is at stake and because like i'm
(19:13):
such a hopeless romantic and because i felt like jared
was the one and obviously you and i relate strongly
on that feeling of knowing that somebody is the one
and like things may not be like going in the
direction of you two being together but then like you
know it's supposed to happen i.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Still get dms about that by the way Yeah. Me too.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I get DMs all the time about, like, how do
you manifest this? Like, how do I get out of
the friend zone?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
How did you hold on when, like, you guys were
broken up, not together? I'm like, I just knew he
was it. Like, I don't know what to say.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Like, I know. And then I always try to tell
people that like you and I are kind of the
exception to the rule. Like usually if some guy is
saying like, I can't right now, it usually means.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Like he can't. No, I'm like, and I'm probably the worst.
So I'm giving like the worst advice because someone's like,
my boyfriend just broke up with me. Like, how do
I move on? I'm like, why do you have to
move on? Like, if you think he's your guy, like.
I'm like, I didn't do that. Like I, Robbie and
I broke up and I was still like, this is
my guy. Like, I just know he's the one for me.
(20:19):
So I'm just gonna like do my thing until he
comes crawling back.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I tried to mentally like, I guess I tried to
mentally detach from Jared in, in chapters. What I would
do would be like, oh, okay. So it's not going
to happen this month. So I'll be chill this month.
And then we'll like start fresh again. Some other point.
Like I was always going into a reboot. Like I
was like, okay, not now. All right. Take a beat.
(20:47):
And then we'll go back into it in a little while. Right.
So I would able to detach and attach, like detach
and attach, like throughout that whole saga. But to go
back to what Housewives is different than Bachelor is I
find Housewives to be more, it was more draining for
(21:08):
me because there was so much conflict. And I think
that on Bachelor, because it was love-oriented, it just felt
different sometimes.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yeah. I will say, I love you so much. You're
literally one of my favorite people and I will support
you till... the end of the earth and back. But
watching the real housewives was a struggle for me because
of that.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
And like, there was just, because you were like feeling
yourself in my position.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I could feel like, I'm like, there's so much chaos
going around. I couldn't even keep up with the chaos
at some point. I'm like, what are they fighting about?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Like, what? I'm like, what? there are times where I
am like, I'm stupid. Am I dumb? Because I can't
figure out why we're all so angry right now.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
It's like, am I following the story and I'll find
myself like narrating and repeating and like, okay, so this
is it.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I'm like, yeah, but I felt like it was nice.
Cause I just feel like you were a little bit
of a breath of fresh air.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Oh, thanks. Yeah. Thank you so very much.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
You're so welcome. Speaking of TV shows, do you watch
Love Island?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
No. Because, you know, it feels too raunchy for me.
I know that you're obsessed. I know. How do you,
as such a clean, bubbly person, find yourself so obsessed
with the dirt that comes with Love Island?
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Because at the end of the day, it's a show
about love, like you said.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Is it really? Does it feel lovey?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
So, if you watch the UK, it does. The USA version,
not so much.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
But I just think I'm so in that like I
can't get off. You know what I mean? Like I'm
on the roller coaster and like I'm going to be
on it until it stops. But the reunion aired last
night and it was so hard to watch for several
different reasons. First of all, the season wrapped in like
(23:14):
June and it's now it aired August 31st. So it's
kind of like I forgot half of the stuff that
they like brought up.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
I thought it was like live, though.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
It wasn't. They filmed this like August 10th or something.
So it's been sitting on a shelf for like two weeks.
But yeah, it was like so bad. And then everything
was edited super, super tight. So I felt like I
was just like watching. It was like very like robotic.
And then they kept bringing stuff up that was like
not shown on the show. It was like stuff that
happened on social media after. And they weren't filling us
(23:46):
in on like what happened. So I found myself being like,
what are they even talking about? Oh, I know. It
was really disappointing as a fan. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I wish I could talk to you about this. It's
a lot of content for me.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
It's a lot of content.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
And I will say that because I think I've been
on reality TV so much that watching reality TV is
often not relaxing for me. So I'm like very much
a scripted girl because that's where I can detach and like,
you know, live in a fantasy life.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Okay, so I find scripted TV show, like I have
to sit and focus and like watch the TV. Whereas
if I'm watching reality, I can like be on my phone.
I can be like doing my hair.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
But that's what I want, Tanya.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Oh, you want to lock in. I want something where.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I put the phone down and yeah, like follow a story.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
So what are you watching right now?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Really? Okay, the last one that I wrapped, and this
is how little I can watch TV right now with children,
was Cape Fear.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
I haven't even heard of that. Cape Fear?
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Cape Fear with Amy Adams and Javier Bardem. It was
on Apple.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Was it old?
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Is it old, Mark? No, it just wrapped in the
middle of July.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
There was an old movie back in the late 80s
and the 90s. Oh, I'm like, what is Ashley watching?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
They made a series just recently, yeah. Okay, okay. And
then I just started last night. This is mom life, Tanya.
I know the boys, the stepboys, are a little bit
older now. but our boys go to bed way too late.
That's because I want them to sleep in. And I
will usually have like an hour to watch TV at
night and I'll watch like a movie in three parts.
(25:25):
So the other yesterday I started, this is how delayed
I am. I started watching that movie with Nick Robinson, uh,
voicemails from Isabel. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I think, I think I'm too emotionally raw to watch that.
I've been told to like stay away. Okay. But you
watch it three different nights.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
We do like now my step-sons, one of them still
likes to watch TV with us. One of them wants
nothing to do at night with us. Um, but we
still like, they still go to bed an hour before
we do. So we have like an hour note. to
watch at night at least. And then we have them 50%
of the time. So 50% of the time we can
watch however much we want.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
See the weekends that you don't have them. Like I
imagine that you could just binge watch TV and I
haven't been able to do that for four and a
half years.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You know, I think about this too, because obviously like we're,
we're trying to have our own and I'm like, I can't,
it's so weird imagining having kids a hundred percent of
the time because we have them 50% of the time.
And it is, it's true. Like Robbie doesn't like to
make plans when we have the kids in terms of like,
he doesn't want to like go out to dinner with
friends when we have them, like get a babysitter because
(26:40):
we only have them 50%. Yeah. So when we have them,
we have them and we're home. And then when we
don't have them, that's when we make all of our
plans with like our friends. So like, we're like socializing
when we don't, we're doing all this stuff that, you know,
going out. So we really don't have that much time
to like sit and binge and just like do nothing
because like, We stack it on both sides.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Jared and I feel guilty because, you know,
when we have our nanny during the day until like
930 to 530, then when we would feel so bad
to get a baby, we do feel bad. We do
it like once a month. But to have a babysitter
on a Saturday night or on a weekday night where
(27:19):
that extends our time not with them. Like we really
feel like outside of work hours, we should constantly be
with them. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
And like we'll do it if like there's a huge
like if there's a banquet that we need to go
to or like a friend's birthday. Like, you know, if
there's something like important, it's like that day and it's
a big thing, then we'll do it. But if it's
just like dinner with friends or like catching up with people,
we always do that on the days that we don't
have them.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Yeah, I feel you.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah. Actually, speaking of kids, there are a couple of
things that you talked about that are like very hot
topics that I want to get into, but I want
to take a quick break. We're back.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
We're back.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
We're back, baby.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
So there are two things that you have recently talked. Well,
I don't know if recently, but think two things that
you've talked about that I feel like are very controversial. One,
one I agree with and when I absolutely don't agree with.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
So the first one is birthday parties for your kids
are a waste of money before they turn two.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah. Okay. You don't agree with this.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Yeah. This is definitely something I can see both sides of.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
So walk me through your rationale.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Okay. So I just don't think that I think the
birthday party is for the, obviously the parent.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Yes, but you're the parent.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, but I don't need that. Like, I just don't
need all my friends to get together to, I don't know.
I think it just seems like such a hassle when
it's for the parent and it, cause I don't want it.
Like I don't want to put together, but that makes
me feel guilty because now you're saying like, you don't
want to celebrate your kid. No, it's like, I want
to celebrate my kid, but I want to celebrate them
(29:18):
doing what they would want to do, which is like
probably just going to like Chucky's instead of like going,
having like a zillion people over for, a zillion people
over with a house or like someplace that they wouldn't
actually care about going.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I mean, I do think there's like a middle ground.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
There's so when Dawson was going to turn 30, he
said he like very much said i want a chucky
cheese birthday party and then we were like oh my
gosh of course i'll out have all the friends come
like our friends too and it was so much fun
and i loved it but we if for his second birthday,
you know, when they're barely speaking and when Hayden, you know,
(29:59):
still like not a lot of talking, we were like,
what do we do today? And we just like did
a family day where we went to the mall and
like they rode like the carousel and then like these
little motorcycles they have at the mall. And then we
went to a family dinner and then like we set
up Aladdin themed party stuff and had cupcakes with the family.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
That's cute.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, I mean, it's not like that I don't celebrate
the kid's birthday. It's just that I don't plan, I
didn't plan birthday parties for both of their second, first
and second birthdays.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Okay, I understood. I do feel like there's a little
bit of like a phenomenon right now where people just
like blow out the first birthday parties and they do
like a full thing, which I do feel like is
a waste of money. And I also feel like, and
you can tell me because I'm like, When you have
(30:52):
kids and you throw a party, do you invite your
friends that don't have kids?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Well, that's the thing. I think that if Jared and
I had more friends.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
With kids.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
When the kids were one and two, particularly Dawson, because
I feel like now with Hayden, we have kids. We
have more friends that have kids. But when Dawson was
turning one and two, it was like the kids... The
kids of our friends were, like, just not amongst the
same age group as him. Like, it wasn't like they
(31:26):
were going to get together and play at this party. Yeah.
It was like, yeah, it just didn't make any sense.
You were going to have a whole bunch of people
and a lot of them weren't going to have babies.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Right. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
It's like, hey, nine-year-old, do you want to come to
a baby's birthday party? Like, I don't know. No. Or, hey,
people who don't have kids, do you want to go
to a one-year-old's birthday party?
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Like, no, I never want to go to a one-year-old's
birthday party unless it's like a family member. Like, I
just don't.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Exactly. So I think we're trying to save other people
from the hassle as well. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
The second thing that you were talking about was, and
this might be a little sensitive, I don't know, but
gender disappointment.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I don't care. We could
talk up the wazoo about this.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
But I think it's like a very real thing because
I also had a friend that experienced this as well.
And I think that there's like, and this is why
I don't really talk so much about my fertility stuff
that's going on because I think that, people get so sensitive.
Like if I say I'm like, you know, I've been
trying for over a year and then somebody's like, well,
(32:34):
I've been trying for six years and I've been doing this.
And it's, there's so much of that, that it's like hard.
You don't want to say something wrong. That's going to
like upset somebody. Cause it's true. Like you talk about
gender disappointment, people are like, well, you should just be
happy that you have a healthy baby. I've been struggling
and dah, dah, dah. But it's like, that is like
(32:54):
a real emotion that people go through and people feel,
and there is space for all of those things.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Absolutely. That, um, it was like when I was, when
I had hyperemesis gravidarium with hate it with Dawson. So
I had the thing where I basically couldn't keep down
any water. So I was on my V for like
16 weeks. So my first trimester with Dawson, and then
I was without Zofran. I could throw up like pretty
(33:24):
much every day. through 30 weeks. And I was on
Zofran for so many of the days and it was just,
you know, traumatic. It was honestly a traumatic pregnancy. I mean,
I also traumatic is a word that I don't want
to like throw around either, but it was like really,
really tough. Imagine having the stomach bug for 30 weeks.
(33:45):
You know what I mean? Yeah. So, um, when I
would talk about that, I was always kind of careful too,
because I didn't want to overdo it because then people
are like, I would kill to be pregnant and I'd
be throwing up every day. Like I'm okay. I would
take that to be pregnant. So I totally understand. There's
so much sensitivity talking about anything when it comes to fertility, pregnancy, postpartum.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
And gender.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
And gender. So, um, here's my take. And I mean,
I get messages all the time that say like, you're
going to try for the third. You guys need a girl.
You guys need a girl. So many people will tell
you like, you're not complete until you have a daughter. Really? Yeah.
Like a lot of people are like, you'll never, like
you won't understand or blah, blah, blah. And I'm like,
(34:33):
I am so perfectly content with having two boys. And
I actually didn't think I would be that way because...
especially when I found out that Dawson was a boy
because I always really wanted only two kids, but I
always wanted sisters too, because I came from a place
(34:53):
where I was, I am like a Siamese twin with
my sister. She's on FaceTime like five times a day. Um,
so when I found out that Dawson wasn't going to
be a girl, then I was like, Oh my gosh,
I'm like not going to have sisters. And that was
kind of like, Oh, And then all the daydreams of
(35:16):
me going to American Girl doll and playing dress up
and taking her to boy band concerts the way that
my mom took us was like out the window. So
I felt that more before I had, when I found
out Dawson, the first was a boy. And then when
I found out Hayden was a boy after coming to
(35:38):
know what it was like having a boy, and how
absolutely angelic he is and how much they're obsessed with
their moms and just like how fulfilling it is to
have a boy. I was a lot less disappointed when
I found out that Hayden was going to be a boy.
I didn't really care so much there. I had like
a moment. I mean, when I mean a moment, it
was like 10 minutes of being like, wow, I'm just
(36:00):
never going to be a mom to a girl. That's
so crazy because you imagine it your whole life.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, your whole life.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
And it's, like, fun. It's, like, sad. It's sad, honestly,
because there's barely ever any gender disappointment when it comes
to girls. Like, because the mom always wants a girl, right? Yeah.
It's the dads that, like, feel like sometimes they need
a boy. Right. But male gender disappointment, dad gender disappointment
is never talked about.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
You're so right, actually, now that I think about it.
It is interesting, though, like, seeing, like.
From a different perspective, because my stepkids are a little
bit older, like they're so chill, like the boys, you know,
like they're not in that rambunctious phase. Like they're just
like chill. And I see the girls and they're great.
(36:51):
And like, they're going to like Starbucks and Sephora. And
I'm just like, oh my gosh, that would, that would
like send me.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
It swaps for sure. Because if you talk to anybody
who has like a preteen girl, they look at you
with boys and they're like, wow, you guys are going to,
you're having your hard era now and then you're going
to be happy later. I was never like that girl though.
You know, I was never a girl that was very
susceptible to peer pressure or whatnot. So I, I wonder
(37:24):
how our kid would turn out. I mean, it's normal
to be the girl of today for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
But honestly, you also never know. Like you're young.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I'm, oh, Tanya.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I know, but I'm just saying, I'm just saying right
now you're done. Right now you're done. But like you
might in like five years be like, let's just.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Five years. I would never start fresh in five years.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
You never know. I have friends. I have friends that
their kids are in their teens and they want another.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Wow. What do you care about having a girl or
a boy? If you had, I mean, you have step boys,
I would assume. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
I try not to like, I try. I'm just like,
especially with where I'm at. I'm like, just give me
a healthy child. Um, but because we do have two,
I have two step sons. I do think like a girl,
you know, but then I'm like, I love my step sons.
So yeah. boy would be cool too.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
When we got the results for the second Hayden, I
was so much more like concerned about health. It's so crazy.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Like, yeah, you're just like, let's literally get the test
to come back. Good.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
That's literally all I want is just like happy, healthy baby.
But then I also do like, I fantasize, fantasize about
Robbie with like a little girl too. Cause he, even
though he's like such a good No. And he's such
a good boy dad, but.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Like he is, I can see him as.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
A girl dad at heart. Like he, he has everything
in him like to be a girl dad.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
So Tanya, exactly the way I feel about Jared. Cause
I feel like Jared and Robbie are very similar. They
got similar vibes. And if I were to ever try
for another child, like I would want him to have
a girl like that's the I don't even care about myself, really.
I want him to be the girl. Right. Oh, my God. Right.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Like I'm happy with either. And I know he is, too.
But I'm like, I just want to I want to
see that Cause he's such a good dad. Like I
want to see it. Like just the thought of him
taking like a little girl to ballet class. Like I,
I can't emotional. Yeah. It'll make me cry. So I'm
going to move on from that so that I don't cry.
I want to just like a little bit of your
(39:43):
opinion on some of the stories that came out this week.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Billie Eilish officiates Phineas and his wife's wedding.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I mean, cute. Didn't you officiate a wedding? Yes, I did.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Do you recommend?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
It was three years ago. I was stressed for months
about writing the ceremony and I'm really glad I did it.
And it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
And it was cool.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
But I feel like you don't get to enjoy as much.
Like you're stressed.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Um, No, it's like super special. You are stressed until
it's written. And once it's written, then you can kind
of chill. Cause like, I think the whole thing is
cause like, think about it, like the, the, the ceremony
and then you get to relax.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I know, but it's just like so high stress. Like
you can't have fun, like at the rehearsal dinner because
you have to like perform the next day.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yeah, there is that, you know what I mean? I would, Yeah,
and you are like, this is the biggest moment of
these people's lives, and they are just giving you that
responsibility to make it as sentimental and romantic and storytelling
as possible. I think I did a good job with it,
but that weight is on your shoulders. It was a friend.
(41:00):
It wasn't like a best friend. Yeah, so that makes
it better, but.
That makes it better as far as like the enjoyment
of the weekend goes.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
I'm trying to throw Robbie's name in the hat for
Becca and Haley's wedding for him to officiate. But then
I'm like, I don't know. I don't want to put that.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I feel like that's on. You're going to be like
the best girl speech. You're going to be like the
bridesmaid speech. But I feel like why Robbie and not
you if we're going to go that route?
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Because I do think that they want a man to
cut up the.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Okay. Any others? Any others that are up for debate there?
Speaker 1 (41:44):
There is one other. I just don't know if she's
like said it. So I don't want to like speak
on her behalf.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Mark and Easton.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
I don't know if she said it or not. I
don't think she cares, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Okay. But yeah, he, Robbie, she's thrown out Robbie's name. Okay.
I'm like, he's an officiator. But I'm like, I don't know. Like,
I'm like, I keep thinking if it's not going to
let him enjoy the wedding as much because he has
to be like on or I don't know if he
(42:17):
internalizes things as much as I do. You know what
I mean? Like, I think Robbie can handle like high
pressure situations and just like execute.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
That is like what I love about our husbands too,
is they're just able to speak from the heart so eloquently.
And I am a fangirl about it. Like whenever it
comes to like me explaining my heart, I'm like.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
And then, and like, and then like, he just has words.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
He has pose. He has poetry.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
When I tell you, when we give up, when we
stand up at Thanksgiving to give a speech to our
guests or whatever, I sound like such a donk. And
Robbie stands up and is just like, he crushes it.
And I'm just like, you know what? You just get
up and speak for the both of us. I'm done
splitting this.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Same. I'm like... You are so eloquent. It's a quality
that I'm so glad I married into. It is.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
It's very nice. But I always feel bad on my birthday.
His speech is always just so good. And I stand
up and I cry. There's this video of me giving
a speech on one of his birthdays. And I'm just sobbing,
bawling my eyes out. I'm like, he would never.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
No, this is why you and I are the same
person in so many ways. It's like people know that
it's from the heart and it's endearing and such, but
it's just like, we're just going to cry through like
a whole bunch of explanations of our feelings.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Chumbled, but cute. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
And it's like nice to have that person like speak
for us, like with school things and like, you know
what I mean? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Maybe I'll get there someday. I'm just like too emotional.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Yeah, I agree. Maybe I'll get better with age.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah. Never know. It's never too late. I love you
so much. And I just wanted to thank you again
for taking the time to scrub in because I just
I love you. And I just like needed a light.
A light laugh, a lighthearted laugh today.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Thanks. I'm so glad I could be of service. And
I also think it's great that if we take it
back to the roots, this podcast was founded on Grey's Anatomy.
And it was something that you watched a very similar
time as I. We took it up together, kind of. Yeah.
(44:52):
And then, you know, I rewatched it while I was
pregnant and sick with Dawson. And I, um, I got,
I got through a lot of hard days watching about
nine episodes with my mom per day. I, okay.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
So I really want to watch, I think they just
put it on Hulu. I think it just moved over
to Hulu. It's like newly on some streaming device because
it's been popping up in my Instagram, like some of
the like old clips. And I'm like the old first,
like six seasons were such magic. I want to watch
those with Robbie so bad. But he's not like a
(45:26):
medical show guy.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
It just hits different. It's so amazing. I'm telling you,
because I watched it for the first time through Becca
in 2005. 15, 16. And then like, because I, it
was actually so long, it was like seven years later,
(45:50):
six years later, I got pregnant with Dawson and then
I rewatched it and it completely like Would take me
out of the nausea that I was experiencing because I
got so wrapped up in the storyline again. And it
was comfortable because I had already known the characters. Yeah.
But I forgot the detailed storylines. And that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
I feel like it's been so long since I've watched it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Maybe I'll do that. Feels like a good thing to.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Or maybe you wait until you're pregnant.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Oh, and do it then? Yeah. Yeah. It feels dark though,
because I feel like some of those, some of those
episodes when like they like lose people, I get really emotional.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
I'm kind of in this phase of life right now
because I'm so emotionally unstable that like I cannot watch
anything that's going to like send me. So I'm watching again,
like Love Island is not going to send me down
like a dark spiral. I'm watching a lot of, food network,
like chopped and barbecue brawl. Cause that's like light.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
I just want to go eat now. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Like I try and just watch things that are like very,
just like light, funny. I can't do the hard stuff
right now.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
That's like, I don't watch that. What's that? Sorry. I
know we're wrapping this up, but what's that HBO show
where everybody loves the medical one, the pit, the pit. Like,
I don't think I can watch the pit now that
I'm a mom.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Yeah. No, I can't do that stuff. That's not relaxing.
That's not going to I'm not going to put that
on for my hour of TV time and be like, oh, yeah,
let's unwind to like a child in the ER.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
Yeah. Like, did you ever watch Adolescence? That was like
a huge show. And Robbie was like, I just can't
like I was like a 12 year old boy. And
like he was just like, I can't I can't watch it.
I'm like, no, no, no, no. I need like light
and breezy right now.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
You were talking about how you had me on because
I'm light and breezy. And then we were like, yeah,
medical dramas about death. Let's wrap it like this.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Oh my gosh. I love you so, so much.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
I love you so, so much.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
Is there anything that we can tell everybody if they
want to listen to more of Ashley? You can listen
to the Almost Famous podcast.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Gotta listen to the Almost Famous podcast. We talk about
a lot of things on there, not just Bachelor stuff,
but you know, a lot of Bachelor stuff. And poor
Ben is like recapping Housewives things now because that's where
I'm at.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
You can also watch Ashley on The Real Housewives of
Rhode Island.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Which, you know, I don't know if I'm on it
or not, but it'll.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Come out again. The last season. Can't you just, can't
you watch those?
Speaker 2 (48:19):
You can watch that. Yeah, of course, on Peacock.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
And it has been renewed for season two, which is awesome.
And then just follow me on Instagram for all like
the mom content. That's what I really love doing, creating
the mom content. It's Ashley underscore Ikenetti.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Awesome. Ashley, I love you. Love you.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Love you so much.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Please come back to this coast.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
I'll see you. You know that I'll see you. I
told you. Come to another East Coast Jonah show. We'll
have a blast again in December.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
There's no chance you'd come to their LA show?
Speaker 2 (48:52):
No, of course there is. Of course there is. I'm
sure I'll be there. Figure it all out. All right.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
Love you, Ashley. Love you. Bye.
Scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and Tanya Radd, an iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And two-time People's Choice Award-winning podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hello, everybody. We are scrubbing in. Yes, that's my voice
two times because Becca is out. She is officially in
Thailand and she'll be gone for two weeks of the podcast.
But I am very excited because we have a co-host
today that I love so much.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
And I....
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I was thinking about who I wanted to do the
podcast with. And I was like, I really just, I
was talking to our producer, Sam. I was like, I
just want somebody to like laugh and have like girl
chat with. And this is the perfect guest to do
those things. So please welcome Ashley Ai to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hi, I feel so pressure on, you know what I mean?
I feel like pressure on because you guys are the
most joy filled, um, best girl talkers ever. So are you.
I mean, thanks. It's been a while. You know what
I mean? Because I used to have a Girl Talk podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
It's been like over a year.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Well, now you can bring it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Now you can bring it here. Yeah. Okay. Let's do it.
Do we have hot topics and stuff? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
So much. Well, there's like so much to cover. And
first of all, I want to say thank you to
the scrubbers because we usually record our podcast on Mondays.
The past two Mondays, I'm doing a little something different
with my trying to conceive era.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I'm doing something a little different this month, which requires
me to be going to like doctor's appointments and things.
So we're doing a recording on a Tuesday, releasing this
on a Tuesday. I just want to say thank you
to the scrubbers for understanding and being flexible with my schedule,
but we should be right on track. Oh no, next
week's Labor Day. So we'll be back on Tuesday next week.
But I just wanted to say thank you. Cause I
(01:52):
know like I get in my routine with my podcast.
Like I love having my certain podcasts that I listen
to specific days that they drop. So when you go
off your format, it like, really messes with you as
a consumer, like me as a listener. So I don't
like doing that to our scrubbers.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Okay. So Tanya, what day do you listen to Hey Jonas?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Um, every day of the week. What day do you
listen to Hey Jonas?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Well, so they've been coming out with multiple a week
where I'm like, Hey boss, to all of us, Amy, like,
are you guys, uh, like, this is a lot.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Like you listen every time they drop one.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
No. So what I do, I listen to every single episode,
but because I want to be in a certain mood
when those come out, I kind of bank them. Like
sometimes I'll go like 10 days without listening to them.
I also like watching those podcasts instead of just listening.
Obvious reasons. And I also like want to be in
(02:51):
a place where I'm happy and zen because I don't
want to ever associate Jonas with a time that I'm stressed.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I mean, but it's not how you like, I feel
like that's how I like listen to everything is like,
I have to be in certain moods. I have to
kind of just like know what's going on. I don't,
I have like my specific things I do when I walk,
when I'm driving. You do?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah. Okay. So do you listen to music when you
walk or podcast when you walk?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Podcast when I walk.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Okay. When do you listen to music then?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
When I'm working out.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Well, I don't work out. So that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Okay. Speaking of Jonas, I want, well, I mean, I
just feel like there's like so much to talk to
you about, but so I'm going to prioritize, but you
started off with Jonas. So I'm going to start off
with Jonas. We actually got to see each other last
week in New York at Madison Square Garden. Can you
believe that was last week?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Well, it's almost, yeah, it's like a week and a
half ago. And let me just say that was one
of the most joy filled days of my life.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So I was trying to, so Becca's never been to
a Jonas Brothers concert before.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah. So I've learned at the Scrubbing It podcast. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
And I'm like, how have you never been to one?
First of all, and I'm like, it's such a, because
I mean, you've gone, we've gone to other concerts. There's
something in the room, in the, like the vibe of
a Jonas Brothers concert that really cannot be replicated at
another show.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
No. And- Anybody who goes for the first time kind
of picks up on that. When Jared went to his
first couple back in 2019, he's like, it truly is
like the happiest place in the world. It's like a
Disney world for music and fandom.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah. And even if you don't know any, like Robbie
also didn't know like any of the songs and he
still had like the best time because the energy was
just like infectious.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
It's something about the fans, like those fans. They're just...
They resonate with me. I relate to them so much.
There's just like something in the quality of people that,
that the Jonas brothers attract. So you're just like in
a room with the best girls ever. Ever. Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Wait, what's your Jonas ranking? Have we talked about this?
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Well, I don't like to rank now. You know what
I mean?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Well, because it's just like straight up wrong. Like I
don't want to rank them. Oh, you're talking about as brothers?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
No, like who's your favorite? Like one, two, three, like
your favorite. Not like ranking, like hotness, like ranking favoritism.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, like I'm okay to rank hotness, but I'm not
like not okay to rank favoritism because like I love
them all. Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I guess rank hotness then.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Well, I mean, Joe has always been like Joe, you know,
to me, like he's always been the hot, he's always
been my celebrity crush for 18 years.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And you married somebody that looks kind of like him.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I mean, right.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And I joke all the time. Like, you know, when
I get on Instagram and I'm just like, look at
this video, like, ah, um, I'm like, thank God you
like have such a resemblance. Like you look more like them, babe.
And like, he looks like Joe of most of all
of them, but you look more like them than even
Franklin does.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
He looks like he really could be the fourth brother. And, um, yeah,
he like is not weirded out at all. He's like, yeah,
I mean, it's nice that there's such a, I don't want.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
To say I love them so much. Like it like
actually hurts.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
No, I know. Like it brings me so much joy
to my life. And I love the fact that you
are like quite friendly with them. And then you also
just get on your mic and you're just like, hi,
I love you so much. Like you love them, love them,
no shame. And that's how I am too. It's just
the love. It's 18 years of just.
(06:35):
Making my life better.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Yes. Making my life better. I know. And like, it's
so funny because I find myself going between this like,
fan and friend with them at times that like is
so weird like sometimes I'm like I'm sitting in Kevin's
dressing room having like a Aperol spritz and I'm just
like I'm sitting in Kevin's dressing room having an Aperol
spritz you know what I mean like.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
That's why it's funny for me to watch you because
like you embrace the fact that you're like a friend
and fan and one and you actually separate it which
is kind of amazing.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Like you would think as a friend, it'd be embarrassing
that I'm like standing so close to the stage, screaming
the words out to their songs, like making eye contact
with them and belting out the lyrics and like crying
at times. But like, I have no shame. And then
when they tell me that they can see me and like,
(07:30):
they like, it like makes them happy when they see
me having like such a good time. I'm like, nah,
that's like, that's where I need to be.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It's just, it's so soul filling. Yeah. Um, and yeah,
there was something about the, that MSG concert where I
was just like, that is what I needed during that week.
It oddly put like something in perspective for me as
sounds so weird as Jonas concerts, like often do where
(07:58):
it's just like high quality, like high vibration.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
And it like tells you like to prioritize the high
vibrations in your life.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Did you wait? Did you see them at the sphere
watching the Backstreet Boys?
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I like couldn't handle it, Tanya. Now that's where my
heart and brain exploded because obviously I love the Backstreet
Boys with so much of my heart. I love Jonas
with so much of my heart. And then I love
new kids. Like, I mean, I'm just a boy band girl, right?
Like I fully love each and every chapter of boy
band dumb. And to see Donnie Wahlberg greet the Jonas
(08:36):
Brothers in the box at a Backstreet Boys concert, like
I just couldn't handle it. I was like, I actually
can't think too deeply about this.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
So like I specifically didn't ask anybody on the team
that I know any questions about this because I want
to like theorize as like an actual fan. But like
them going to the sphere, I'm like, are they checking
this out to maybe like have a residency there?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Did Nick not go last year? I feel like Nick
did go to Backstreet last year, but by himself.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Having all three of them there, it felt like they
were taking notes and observing it in a way like, oh,
maybe this is something that we could do at some point.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Well, do you remember that internet rumor or speculation from
a couple months ago where Nick said, when we have
our Spear residency, and then he said.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
He said that?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
He said- I mean, you know, down the road if
that ever happens. But then people started to like kind
of dissect that statement. I wonder how many years it
takes to plan one of those.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Did you go back straight last?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Did you go back straight? I'm going to go in
January again. I wasn't able to this summer and I
want to take my dad and my sister. So we're taking,
you know, figuring out a time and make it all go.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
If the Jonas brothers have a Las Vegas residency, I'm
going to.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
You and I are going to move to Vegas.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It's going to like hop on a plane every weekend. Like,
are you joking? That would be so fun.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
We could make this entire podcast probably just Jonas Topic.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
But, like, I don't even think that that would be
something they were in talks for just because we have
this whole tour in front of us right now.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I feel like this would be a couple years down
the road.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah, it's not going to happen anytime soon.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, I'm wondering that, like, how many... Does it take, like,
at least a year to come up with those visuals
in that scale? No. Because... What are you talking about?
You don't think it takes a year to come up
with those sphere visuals?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Not when you have Jonas brains. So maybe next fall
we'll get the sphere? I'm going to move on from
the Jonas Brothers. Are you going to any Harry shows
at Madison Square Garden during his residency there?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Okay, so he has 30 shows, right? And how far
are they spread out?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
That's a Mark question. I'm going to have to have
him look, but they are pretty spread out. It started,
it started like last week and I think he goes
through definitely through Halloween cause he's doing Harryween. So probably
end of October. It's probably the last one.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Okay. This is straight up honest. I love Harry Styles
for like the entity that he is, but like when
his hair is as short as it is right now,
it just doesn't cut it for me. Oh wow. I know. Whoops.
I'm so sorry. It's just, and, and Tonya, I really
miss old Harry. Like I miss 2016 Harry. Like I
(11:35):
love like rock star, like dirty, grungy, like dark, like
leather Harry and not like, like button down dresses. Harry.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh, I love this Harry. And I love this album.
I know this album was a little bit controversial, but like,
I really loved it.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Oh, see, I listened to it once and I was
just like, it's not, OK, we're going.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
To move on because like this is just like this
is this is offensive.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
We move on from this whole pop star thing. Do
you love the new Jonas song and the fact that
like every single time? they come out with new music.
I'm never disappointed. That's the greatest, one of the greatest
components about them.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Never disappointed.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Never disappointed. Like every album. I'm just like, you deliver
every time. No. Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
I have to just say this.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Consistency.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So Ashley was at the Friday night show of the
Jonas Brothers Madison Square Garden. And I was, I stayed
Thursday and Saturday.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
So Friday I left to like, go have dinner. Cause
I just needed like a date night with Robbie and
In the city.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Three nights in a row is a lot even for me.
You want to savor it. You want to enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
But the night that I left, I missed Rollercoaster, which
is one of my favorite Jonas Brothers songs ever. And
I'm like, that song like hits on another level that
like nobody really understands. And the fact that I missed
it really like hit me hard.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I know. I'm so sorry about that.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
And they didn't do it the next night.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
It's also one of my top five favorite songs. They need... Guys, hi.
Ashley and Tanya here. Really pitching the idea that it
needs to round out the tour. It needs to be
the last song every night because... It brings the burning
up tour and then the new era together. Yeah. And
then we're like all emotional thinking about how we've been
(13:21):
on this actual roller coaster for so many years.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
And our own roller coasters of life. Of life.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah. Together alongside them and like all the albums representing
like different chapters of our lives. Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
And with that, we're done with the Jonas Brothers.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
But I love Harry and I would like to see
Harry if given the opportunity. It's just one of those
things that I don't have. Like, if I can't make
it work, then I like won't make it work. You
know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
It's fine. We're not going to fight over this.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I'm actually like, I'm interested. I'm like, you are this era, Harry.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
We are going to take a quick break. But when
we come back, I want to talk about The Real
Housewives because... When I interviewed Ashley at Madison Square Garden,
the cheers and the crowd were going so loud for Ashley.
They told me to like extend with her because everybody
was like cheering so loud.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
And that's the coolest thing I've ever heard. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
So I'm going to talk housewives when we come back.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
We're back. Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
We are here. Also, by the way, do you, you
still go by Ashley? I, right?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah. I will always go by Ashley. I sentimentally attached.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Ashley Haven.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Not really. Like sometimes, like if I'm doing something hosting
alongside Jared or we're like in something together, school stuff
for the kids, I'll do Ashley. I can Eddie Haven,
but I never legally changed it.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
It's a pain in the ass. You did recently, right?
I did.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Yeah. Your contact info on my phone just changed. I know.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Like, is that aggressive that everybody has this like gnarly
picture of me in like a blue suit?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I love it. I was changing it.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And Robbie was like, maybe make it like professional, you know?
And I was like, but I'm like, yes, I have
a job, but like my job isn't so professional.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
No, the blue suit's great. It's a suit and it's bright. Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like I have the same one. It's a
house with CB. You and you're my house with CB sister.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Yeah. Um, no, but like I change it now. My
TSA pre-check doesn't work. So I have to like go
like figure it all out.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I'm not going to do it, but it's very sweet
and traditional of you to do it. Like I would
like to do it, but I don't want to go
through all of that.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I wouldn't have done it if I really wanted to
make rad my middle name and you can't, you can't
do that. You just can't do that unless you go
through the whole process. I was like, if I'm going
to go through the whole process, I'm going to do
the whole shebang.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Did you drop your actual middle name? What is your
actual middle name?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I never had a middle name.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Oh, you never had one.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I don't want to drop Nicole.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Who calls you Ashley Nicole?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I don't know. I just like Ashley Nicole like an Eddie.
That's like just together.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
You do you.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But like, yeah, it was... such a long process. And like, still,
I feel like I finally finished it. Like I did everything,
like my credit cards, my bank, my health insurance, everything.
And then TSA pre-check, I keep getting like smacked with like, no,
you don't have it. I'm like, I did all this,
but okay. Anyways. So real housewives of Rhode Island, we
all watched you on the bachelor and you were like
(16:33):
bachelor darling. Now you're a real housewife, which is like
a whole other Like it literally is a whole other world.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
That was the percentage.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Your first season, were you happy with how you came across?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah. I told everybody, like the producers and such, I
was like, thank you for like actually showing my real self.
Like I'm like, I didn't have a huge role, which
was fine by me. But I was glad that what
was shown was very authentic to myself and how I
thought things went down.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
What did you learn about yourself, like, watching season one back?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
It wasn't so much watching it back. It was being
in it. And that is that, like, I... I don't
know if I'm... Am I so non-confrontational? Or am I
surrounded by very confrontational people? Like, I just... I'm not
highly bothered. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
It takes a lot to rattle you.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah. Like, it... I'm not, I'm sensitive in the way
that like I cry easily and like I am more empathic,
but I am not very sensitive to what other people
like say about me. I am sensitive when it comes
to like affecting like my family.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Did that, did you, did other people's opinions about your
family bother you?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
No, but I think that like, I mean, not in
season one or anything, but I think that I'm more
defensive when it comes to that stuff.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
And when it's just about me, I can like laugh
at myself pretty easily.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
But when it comes to anything about your family, you're like, no, no.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah. It's like we have kids now, you know, we're
not just like this bachelor, like ha ha reality couple.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah. So you liked your experience this round?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
The experience itself of filming, I found to be far
more challenging than Bachelor. There are two, there's Bachelor, you
are like submerged in a whole different world and you
like leave your regular world and you submerge yourself into
another world. And it's kind of like separate entities with Housewives.
(18:52):
It's documenting your life But I still was able to
separate during season one my filming life and my real life.
I don't know. This is so weird to describe, Tanya.
Because I was so much more... emotional in bachelor world
because like love is at stake and because like i'm
(19:13):
such a hopeless romantic and because i felt like jared
was the one and obviously you and i relate strongly
on that feeling of knowing that somebody is the one
and like things may not be like going in the
direction of you two being together but then like you
know it's supposed to happen i.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Still get dms about that by the way Yeah. Me too.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I get DMs all the time about, like, how do
you manifest this? Like, how do I get out of
the friend zone?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
How did you hold on when, like, you guys were
broken up, not together? I'm like, I just knew he
was it. Like, I don't know what to say.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Like, I know. And then I always try to tell
people that like you and I are kind of the
exception to the rule. Like usually if some guy is
saying like, I can't right now, it usually means.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Like he can't. No, I'm like, and I'm probably the worst.
So I'm giving like the worst advice because someone's like,
my boyfriend just broke up with me. Like, how do
I move on? I'm like, why do you have to
move on? Like, if you think he's your guy, like.
I'm like, I didn't do that. Like I, Robbie and
I broke up and I was still like, this is
my guy. Like, I just know he's the one for me.
(20:19):
So I'm just gonna like do my thing until he
comes crawling back.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I tried to mentally like, I guess I tried to
mentally detach from Jared in, in chapters. What I would
do would be like, oh, okay. So it's not going
to happen this month. So I'll be chill this month.
And then we'll like start fresh again. Some other point.
Like I was always going into a reboot. Like I
was like, okay, not now. All right. Take a beat.
(20:47):
And then we'll go back into it in a little while. Right.
So I would able to detach and attach, like detach
and attach, like throughout that whole saga. But to go
back to what Housewives is different than Bachelor is I
find Housewives to be more, it was more draining for
(21:08):
me because there was so much conflict. And I think
that on Bachelor, because it was love-oriented, it just felt
different sometimes.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yeah. I will say, I love you so much. You're
literally one of my favorite people and I will support
you till... the end of the earth and back. But
watching the real housewives was a struggle for me because
of that.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
And like, there was just, because you were like feeling
yourself in my position.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I could feel like, I'm like, there's so much chaos
going around. I couldn't even keep up with the chaos
at some point. I'm like, what are they fighting about?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Like, what? I'm like, what? there are times where I
am like, I'm stupid. Am I dumb? Because I can't
figure out why we're all so angry right now.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
It's like, am I following the story and I'll find
myself like narrating and repeating and like, okay, so this
is it.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I'm like, yeah, but I felt like it was nice.
Cause I just feel like you were a little bit
of a breath of fresh air.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Oh, thanks. Yeah. Thank you so very much.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
You're so welcome. Speaking of TV shows, do you watch
Love Island?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
No. Because, you know, it feels too raunchy for me.
I know that you're obsessed. I know. How do you,
as such a clean, bubbly person, find yourself so obsessed
with the dirt that comes with Love Island?
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Because at the end of the day, it's a show
about love, like you said.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Is it really? Does it feel lovey?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
So, if you watch the UK, it does. The USA version,
not so much.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
But I just think I'm so in that like I
can't get off. You know what I mean? Like I'm
on the roller coaster and like I'm going to be
on it until it stops. But the reunion aired last
night and it was so hard to watch for several
different reasons. First of all, the season wrapped in like
(23:14):
June and it's now it aired August 31st. So it's
kind of like I forgot half of the stuff that
they like brought up.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
I thought it was like live, though.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
It wasn't. They filmed this like August 10th or something.
So it's been sitting on a shelf for like two weeks.
But yeah, it was like so bad. And then everything
was edited super, super tight. So I felt like I
was just like watching. It was like very like robotic.
And then they kept bringing stuff up that was like
not shown on the show. It was like stuff that
happened on social media after. And they weren't filling us
(23:46):
in on like what happened. So I found myself being like,
what are they even talking about? Oh, I know. It
was really disappointing as a fan. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I wish I could talk to you about this. It's
a lot of content for me.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
It's a lot of content.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
And I will say that because I think I've been
on reality TV so much that watching reality TV is
often not relaxing for me. So I'm like very much
a scripted girl because that's where I can detach and like,
you know, live in a fantasy life.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Okay, so I find scripted TV show, like I have
to sit and focus and like watch the TV. Whereas
if I'm watching reality, I can like be on my phone.
I can be like doing my hair.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
But that's what I want, Tanya.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Oh, you want to lock in. I want something where.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I put the phone down and yeah, like follow a story.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
So what are you watching right now?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Really? Okay, the last one that I wrapped, and this
is how little I can watch TV right now with children,
was Cape Fear.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
I haven't even heard of that. Cape Fear?
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Cape Fear with Amy Adams and Javier Bardem. It was
on Apple.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Was it old?
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Is it old, Mark? No, it just wrapped in the
middle of July.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
There was an old movie back in the late 80s
and the 90s. Oh, I'm like, what is Ashley watching?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
They made a series just recently, yeah. Okay, okay. And
then I just started last night. This is mom life, Tanya.
I know the boys, the stepboys, are a little bit
older now. but our boys go to bed way too late.
That's because I want them to sleep in. And I
will usually have like an hour to watch TV at
night and I'll watch like a movie in three parts.
(25:25):
So the other yesterday I started, this is how delayed
I am. I started watching that movie with Nick Robinson, uh,
voicemails from Isabel. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I think, I think I'm too emotionally raw to watch that.
I've been told to like stay away. Okay. But you
watch it three different nights.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
We do like now my step-sons, one of them still
likes to watch TV with us. One of them wants
nothing to do at night with us. Um, but we
still like, they still go to bed an hour before
we do. So we have like an hour note. to
watch at night at least. And then we have them 50%
of the time. So 50% of the time we can
watch however much we want.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
See the weekends that you don't have them. Like I
imagine that you could just binge watch TV and I
haven't been able to do that for four and a
half years.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You know, I think about this too, because obviously like we're,
we're trying to have our own and I'm like, I can't,
it's so weird imagining having kids a hundred percent of
the time because we have them 50% of the time.
And it is, it's true. Like Robbie doesn't like to
make plans when we have the kids in terms of like,
he doesn't want to like go out to dinner with
friends when we have them, like get a babysitter because
(26:40):
we only have them 50%. Yeah. So when we have them,
we have them and we're home. And then when we
don't have them, that's when we make all of our
plans with like our friends. So like, we're like socializing
when we don't, we're doing all this stuff that, you know,
going out. So we really don't have that much time
to like sit and binge and just like do nothing
because like, We stack it on both sides.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Jared and I feel guilty because, you know,
when we have our nanny during the day until like
930 to 530, then when we would feel so bad
to get a baby, we do feel bad. We do
it like once a month. But to have a babysitter
on a Saturday night or on a weekday night where
(27:19):
that extends our time not with them. Like we really
feel like outside of work hours, we should constantly be
with them. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
And like we'll do it if like there's a huge
like if there's a banquet that we need to go
to or like a friend's birthday. Like, you know, if
there's something like important, it's like that day and it's
a big thing, then we'll do it. But if it's
just like dinner with friends or like catching up with people,
we always do that on the days that we don't
have them.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Yeah, I feel you.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah. Actually, speaking of kids, there are a couple of
things that you talked about that are like very hot
topics that I want to get into, but I want
to take a quick break. We're back.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
We're back.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
We're back, baby.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
So there are two things that you have recently talked. Well,
I don't know if recently, but think two things that
you've talked about that I feel like are very controversial. One,
one I agree with and when I absolutely don't agree with.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
So the first one is birthday parties for your kids
are a waste of money before they turn two.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah. Okay. You don't agree with this.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Yeah. This is definitely something I can see both sides of.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
So walk me through your rationale.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Okay. So I just don't think that I think the
birthday party is for the, obviously the parent.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Yes, but you're the parent.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, but I don't need that. Like, I just don't
need all my friends to get together to, I don't know.
I think it just seems like such a hassle when
it's for the parent and it, cause I don't want it.
Like I don't want to put together, but that makes
me feel guilty because now you're saying like, you don't
want to celebrate your kid. No, it's like, I want
to celebrate my kid, but I want to celebrate them
(29:18):
doing what they would want to do, which is like
probably just going to like Chucky's instead of like going,
having like a zillion people over for, a zillion people
over with a house or like someplace that they wouldn't
actually care about going.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I mean, I do think there's like a middle ground.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
There's so when Dawson was going to turn 30, he
said he like very much said i want a chucky
cheese birthday party and then we were like oh my
gosh of course i'll out have all the friends come
like our friends too and it was so much fun
and i loved it but we if for his second birthday,
you know, when they're barely speaking and when Hayden, you know,
(29:59):
still like not a lot of talking, we were like,
what do we do today? And we just like did
a family day where we went to the mall and
like they rode like the carousel and then like these
little motorcycles they have at the mall. And then we
went to a family dinner and then like we set
up Aladdin themed party stuff and had cupcakes with the family.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
That's cute.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, I mean, it's not like that I don't celebrate
the kid's birthday. It's just that I don't plan, I
didn't plan birthday parties for both of their second, first
and second birthdays.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Okay, I understood. I do feel like there's a little
bit of like a phenomenon right now where people just
like blow out the first birthday parties and they do
like a full thing, which I do feel like is
a waste of money. And I also feel like, and
you can tell me because I'm like, When you have
(30:52):
kids and you throw a party, do you invite your
friends that don't have kids?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Well, that's the thing. I think that if Jared and
I had more friends.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
With kids.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
When the kids were one and two, particularly Dawson, because
I feel like now with Hayden, we have kids. We
have more friends that have kids. But when Dawson was
turning one and two, it was like the kids... The
kids of our friends were, like, just not amongst the
same age group as him. Like, it wasn't like they
(31:26):
were going to get together and play at this party. Yeah.
It was like, yeah, it just didn't make any sense.
You were going to have a whole bunch of people
and a lot of them weren't going to have babies.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Right. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
It's like, hey, nine-year-old, do you want to come to
a baby's birthday party? Like, I don't know. No. Or, hey,
people who don't have kids, do you want to go
to a one-year-old's birthday party?
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Like, no, I never want to go to a one-year-old's
birthday party unless it's like a family member. Like, I
just don't.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Exactly. So I think we're trying to save other people
from the hassle as well. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
The second thing that you were talking about was, and
this might be a little sensitive, I don't know, but
gender disappointment.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I don't care. We could
talk up the wazoo about this.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
But I think it's like a very real thing because
I also had a friend that experienced this as well.
And I think that there's like, and this is why
I don't really talk so much about my fertility stuff
that's going on because I think that, people get so sensitive.
Like if I say I'm like, you know, I've been
trying for over a year and then somebody's like, well,
(32:34):
I've been trying for six years and I've been doing this.
And it's, there's so much of that, that it's like hard.
You don't want to say something wrong. That's going to
like upset somebody. Cause it's true. Like you talk about
gender disappointment, people are like, well, you should just be
happy that you have a healthy baby. I've been struggling
and dah, dah, dah. But it's like, that is like
(32:54):
a real emotion that people go through and people feel,
and there is space for all of those things.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Absolutely. That, um, it was like when I was, when
I had hyperemesis gravidarium with hate it with Dawson. So
I had the thing where I basically couldn't keep down
any water. So I was on my V for like
16 weeks. So my first trimester with Dawson, and then
I was without Zofran. I could throw up like pretty
(33:24):
much every day. through 30 weeks. And I was on
Zofran for so many of the days and it was just,
you know, traumatic. It was honestly a traumatic pregnancy. I mean,
I also traumatic is a word that I don't want
to like throw around either, but it was like really,
really tough. Imagine having the stomach bug for 30 weeks.
(33:45):
You know what I mean? Yeah. So, um, when I
would talk about that, I was always kind of careful too,
because I didn't want to overdo it because then people
are like, I would kill to be pregnant and I'd
be throwing up every day. Like I'm okay. I would
take that to be pregnant. So I totally understand. There's
so much sensitivity talking about anything when it comes to fertility, pregnancy, postpartum.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
And gender.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
And gender. So, um, here's my take. And I mean,
I get messages all the time that say like, you're
going to try for the third. You guys need a girl.
You guys need a girl. So many people will tell
you like, you're not complete until you have a daughter. Really? Yeah.
Like a lot of people are like, you'll never, like
you won't understand or blah, blah, blah. And I'm like,
(34:33):
I am so perfectly content with having two boys. And
I actually didn't think I would be that way because...
especially when I found out that Dawson was a boy
because I always really wanted only two kids, but I
always wanted sisters too, because I came from a place
(34:53):
where I was, I am like a Siamese twin with
my sister. She's on FaceTime like five times a day. Um,
so when I found out that Dawson wasn't going to
be a girl, then I was like, Oh my gosh,
I'm like not going to have sisters. And that was
kind of like, Oh, And then all the daydreams of
(35:16):
me going to American Girl doll and playing dress up
and taking her to boy band concerts the way that
my mom took us was like out the window. So
I felt that more before I had, when I found
out Dawson, the first was a boy. And then when
I found out Hayden was a boy after coming to
(35:38):
know what it was like having a boy, and how
absolutely angelic he is and how much they're obsessed with
their moms and just like how fulfilling it is to
have a boy. I was a lot less disappointed when
I found out that Hayden was going to be a boy.
I didn't really care so much there. I had like
a moment. I mean, when I mean a moment, it
was like 10 minutes of being like, wow, I'm just
(36:00):
never going to be a mom to a girl. That's
so crazy because you imagine it your whole life.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, your whole life.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
And it's, like, fun. It's, like, sad. It's sad, honestly,
because there's barely ever any gender disappointment when it comes
to girls. Like, because the mom always wants a girl, right? Yeah.
It's the dads that, like, feel like sometimes they need
a boy. Right. But male gender disappointment, dad gender disappointment
is never talked about.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
You're so right, actually, now that I think about it.
It is interesting, though, like, seeing, like.
From a different perspective, because my stepkids are a little
bit older, like they're so chill, like the boys, you know,
like they're not in that rambunctious phase. Like they're just
like chill. And I see the girls and they're great.
(36:51):
And like, they're going to like Starbucks and Sephora. And
I'm just like, oh my gosh, that would, that would
like send me.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
It swaps for sure. Because if you talk to anybody
who has like a preteen girl, they look at you
with boys and they're like, wow, you guys are going to,
you're having your hard era now and then you're going
to be happy later. I was never like that girl though.
You know, I was never a girl that was very
susceptible to peer pressure or whatnot. So I, I wonder
(37:24):
how our kid would turn out. I mean, it's normal
to be the girl of today for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
But honestly, you also never know. Like you're young.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I'm, oh, Tanya.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I know, but I'm just saying, I'm just saying right
now you're done. Right now you're done. But like you
might in like five years be like, let's just.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Five years. I would never start fresh in five years.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
You never know. I have friends. I have friends that
their kids are in their teens and they want another.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Wow. What do you care about having a girl or
a boy? If you had, I mean, you have step boys,
I would assume. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
I try not to like, I try. I'm just like,
especially with where I'm at. I'm like, just give me
a healthy child. Um, but because we do have two,
I have two step sons. I do think like a girl,
you know, but then I'm like, I love my step sons.
So yeah. boy would be cool too.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
When we got the results for the second Hayden, I
was so much more like concerned about health. It's so crazy.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Like, yeah, you're just like, let's literally get the test
to come back. Good.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
That's literally all I want is just like happy, healthy baby.
But then I also do like, I fantasize, fantasize about
Robbie with like a little girl too. Cause he, even
though he's like such a good No. And he's such
a good boy dad, but.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Like he is, I can see him as.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
A girl dad at heart. Like he, he has everything
in him like to be a girl dad.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
So Tanya, exactly the way I feel about Jared. Cause
I feel like Jared and Robbie are very similar. They
got similar vibes. And if I were to ever try
for another child, like I would want him to have
a girl like that's the I don't even care about myself, really.
I want him to be the girl. Right. Oh, my God. Right.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Like I'm happy with either. And I know he is, too.
But I'm like, I just want to I want to
see that Cause he's such a good dad. Like I
want to see it. Like just the thought of him
taking like a little girl to ballet class. Like I,
I can't emotional. Yeah. It'll make me cry. So I'm
going to move on from that so that I don't cry.
I want to just like a little bit of your
(39:43):
opinion on some of the stories that came out this week.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Billie Eilish officiates Phineas and his wife's wedding.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I mean, cute. Didn't you officiate a wedding? Yes, I did.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Do you recommend?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
It was three years ago. I was stressed for months
about writing the ceremony and I'm really glad I did it.
And it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
And it was cool.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
But I feel like you don't get to enjoy as much.
Like you're stressed.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Um, No, it's like super special. You are stressed until
it's written. And once it's written, then you can kind
of chill. Cause like, I think the whole thing is
cause like, think about it, like the, the, the ceremony
and then you get to relax.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I know, but it's just like so high stress. Like
you can't have fun, like at the rehearsal dinner because
you have to like perform the next day.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yeah, there is that, you know what I mean? I would, Yeah,
and you are like, this is the biggest moment of
these people's lives, and they are just giving you that
responsibility to make it as sentimental and romantic and storytelling
as possible. I think I did a good job with it,
but that weight is on your shoulders. It was a friend.
(41:00):
It wasn't like a best friend. Yeah, so that makes
it better, but.
That makes it better as far as like the enjoyment
of the weekend goes.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
I'm trying to throw Robbie's name in the hat for
Becca and Haley's wedding for him to officiate. But then
I'm like, I don't know. I don't want to put that.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I feel like that's on. You're going to be like
the best girl speech. You're going to be like the
bridesmaid speech. But I feel like why Robbie and not
you if we're going to go that route?
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Because I do think that they want a man to
cut up the.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Okay. Any others? Any others that are up for debate there?
Speaker 1 (41:44):
There is one other. I just don't know if she's
like said it. So I don't want to like speak
on her behalf.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Mark and Easton.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
I don't know if she said it or not. I
don't think she cares, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Okay. But yeah, he, Robbie, she's thrown out Robbie's name. Okay.
I'm like, he's an officiator. But I'm like, I don't know. Like,
I'm like, I keep thinking if it's not going to
let him enjoy the wedding as much because he has
to be like on or I don't know if he
(42:17):
internalizes things as much as I do. You know what
I mean? Like, I think Robbie can handle like high
pressure situations and just like execute.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
That is like what I love about our husbands too,
is they're just able to speak from the heart so eloquently.
And I am a fangirl about it. Like whenever it
comes to like me explaining my heart, I'm like.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
And then, and like, and then like, he just has words.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
He has pose. He has poetry.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
When I tell you, when we give up, when we
stand up at Thanksgiving to give a speech to our
guests or whatever, I sound like such a donk. And
Robbie stands up and is just like, he crushes it.
And I'm just like, you know what? You just get
up and speak for the both of us. I'm done
splitting this.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Same. I'm like... You are so eloquent. It's a quality
that I'm so glad I married into. It is.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
It's very nice. But I always feel bad on my birthday.
His speech is always just so good. And I stand
up and I cry. There's this video of me giving
a speech on one of his birthdays. And I'm just sobbing,
bawling my eyes out. I'm like, he would never.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
No, this is why you and I are the same
person in so many ways. It's like people know that
it's from the heart and it's endearing and such, but
it's just like, we're just going to cry through like
a whole bunch of explanations of our feelings.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Chumbled, but cute. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
And it's like nice to have that person like speak
for us, like with school things and like, you know
what I mean? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Maybe I'll get there someday. I'm just like too emotional.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Yeah, I agree. Maybe I'll get better with age.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah. Never know. It's never too late. I love you
so much. And I just wanted to thank you again
for taking the time to scrub in because I just
I love you. And I just like needed a light.
A light laugh, a lighthearted laugh today.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Thanks. I'm so glad I could be of service. And
I also think it's great that if we take it
back to the roots, this podcast was founded on Grey's Anatomy.
And it was something that you watched a very similar
time as I. We took it up together, kind of. Yeah.
(44:52):
And then, you know, I rewatched it while I was
pregnant and sick with Dawson. And I, um, I got,
I got through a lot of hard days watching about
nine episodes with my mom per day. I, okay.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
So I really want to watch, I think they just
put it on Hulu. I think it just moved over
to Hulu. It's like newly on some streaming device because
it's been popping up in my Instagram, like some of
the like old clips. And I'm like the old first,
like six seasons were such magic. I want to watch
those with Robbie so bad. But he's not like a
(45:26):
medical show guy.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
It just hits different. It's so amazing. I'm telling you,
because I watched it for the first time through Becca
in 2005. 15, 16. And then like, because I, it
was actually so long, it was like seven years later,
(45:50):
six years later, I got pregnant with Dawson and then
I rewatched it and it completely like Would take me
out of the nausea that I was experiencing because I
got so wrapped up in the storyline again. And it
was comfortable because I had already known the characters. Yeah.
But I forgot the detailed storylines. And that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
I feel like it's been so long since I've watched it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Maybe I'll do that. Feels like a good thing to.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Or maybe you wait until you're pregnant.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Oh, and do it then? Yeah. Yeah. It feels dark though,
because I feel like some of those, some of those
episodes when like they like lose people, I get really emotional.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
I'm kind of in this phase of life right now
because I'm so emotionally unstable that like I cannot watch
anything that's going to like send me. So I'm watching again,
like Love Island is not going to send me down
like a dark spiral. I'm watching a lot of, food network,
like chopped and barbecue brawl. Cause that's like light.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
I just want to go eat now. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Like I try and just watch things that are like very,
just like light, funny. I can't do the hard stuff
right now.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
That's like, I don't watch that. What's that? Sorry. I
know we're wrapping this up, but what's that HBO show
where everybody loves the medical one, the pit, the pit. Like,
I don't think I can watch the pit now that
I'm a mom.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Yeah. No, I can't do that stuff. That's not relaxing.
That's not going to I'm not going to put that
on for my hour of TV time and be like, oh, yeah,
let's unwind to like a child in the ER.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
Yeah. Like, did you ever watch Adolescence? That was like
a huge show. And Robbie was like, I just can't
like I was like a 12 year old boy. And
like he was just like, I can't I can't watch it.
I'm like, no, no, no, no. I need like light
and breezy right now.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
You were talking about how you had me on because
I'm light and breezy. And then we were like, yeah,
medical dramas about death. Let's wrap it like this.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Oh my gosh. I love you so, so much.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
I love you so, so much.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
Is there anything that we can tell everybody if they
want to listen to more of Ashley? You can listen
to the Almost Famous podcast.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Gotta listen to the Almost Famous podcast. We talk about
a lot of things on there, not just Bachelor stuff,
but you know, a lot of Bachelor stuff. And poor
Ben is like recapping Housewives things now because that's where
I'm at.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
You can also watch Ashley on The Real Housewives of
Rhode Island.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Which, you know, I don't know if I'm on it
or not, but it'll.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Come out again. The last season. Can't you just, can't
you watch those?
Speaker 2 (48:19):
You can watch that. Yeah, of course, on Peacock.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
And it has been renewed for season two, which is awesome.
And then just follow me on Instagram for all like
the mom content. That's what I really love doing, creating
the mom content. It's Ashley underscore Ikenetti.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Awesome. Ashley, I love you. Love you.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Love you so much.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Please come back to this coast.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
I'll see you. You know that I'll see you. I
told you. Come to another East Coast Jonah show. We'll
have a blast again in December.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
There's no chance you'd come to their LA show?
Speaker 2 (48:52):
No, of course there is. Of course there is. I'm
sure I'll be there. Figure it all out. All right.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
Love you, Ashley. Love you. Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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