March 12, 2026 • 37 mins
Jessica Barrett is trading one pod for another when the Love is Blind star scrubs in!
She spills everything with Becca and Tanya, and we hear the story of how a random DM led her to a life changing experience.
Jessica gets real about which of her cast mates had soul mate vibes right from the start, she opens up about the devastating words she heard from a failed match, and we get to hear all about the real connection she found after the show!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in Today is a special
day because we have a special guest.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yes we do. We fell in love with her from
Love is Blind this season, and I think we all
collectively kind of wrapped her arms around her mid season.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
She united the world she did or the US. She
did the US. We need this no.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Like people all over could be watching the USA Love
is Blind.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, and she collectively had us all on her side correct,
which felt really good.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
It did us for once.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
So I cannot wait to talk to her. I have
so many things to ask and I can't wait for
her to scrub in. So everyone welcome Jessica Barrett. There's
so much to discuss.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
We do want to set the scene for our listen
because we are doing this interview on a Tuesday. The
reunion airs tomorrow. This is airing days after, so everybody
will have already seen the reunion, so we are We
got some spoilers so you know it happens, But we
just want to set the scene.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
We don't know everything.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
We don't know everything, but we know enough.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Okay, can we start. I have so many questions about
the process.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Of Love is Blind in the timeline, the timeline.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
In the process, So how does one get on the show?
Speaker 3 (01:33):
First of all, is it a.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Casting totally different for everyone that you ask I personally
got a DM, which was crazy because I had a
private Instagram.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I don't like.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
My Instagram is literally like my folloween costumes and my bulldogs,
nothing exciting. And I got a message from a casting
person and obviously thought I was like being catfished and
was like, this is crazy. Send it to my little
sister and my parents and they were like, obviously you
need to answer that, and I said, no, there's no
way this is real. And even if it were, there's
(02:07):
no way I could do this with work, with everything crazy.
I had a conversation with Age, the person who reached
out to me from Kinetic, and just kept talking and
it was basically me trying to convince her that she
didn't want me, and her trying to convince me that
(02:27):
she did.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Did you how did you find she?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Probably do their real I feel like they do their
research in because every season of Love is Blinds in
a different city, so they probably go in and like
just hit the ground running, ask people for like recommendations
of like really awesome singles that they know, and then
they just like go in from there.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
That's the only thing I can think.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I think one of my friends maybe said something to
someone and I just don't know.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Otherwise, I just don't know how advice was in the far.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
So we filmed in February, and she messaged me at
some point in the fall. It's a very long process.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
February of twenty twenty five, when we filmed twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Oh, February twenty twenty five. But did she reached out
in fall.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Of twenty four?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, this has been like a full year since you filmed. Okay,
and the reunion was filmed recently, a.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Couple of weeks ago. Maybe I don't even know what
day it is. Where am I? Okay?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
But no, I do think it's interesting because I always wonder,
like after Love is Blind, after we see like the weddings,
why don't we get the reunion right after? And I
think it's because that was filmed a year ago, and
then the reunion is like flashing forward present. Yeah, so
a lot of times played.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Yeah, so a lot has transpired since we've filmed Riley.
And it's funny because especially for those of us that had,
you know, roller coaster experiences.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
I experienced that over a.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Year ago, and how are we living it?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Worked through it and done all of these things, and
then all of a sudden, everyone else's experience and sing
it with me and like oh my god, Oh my god.
And I'm like, yeah, that's kind of like old news.
At this point, I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Good, which is why you're probably able to like talk
about it.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
One hundred fresh.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
I think that if I had to have these conversations
over and over when it had just happened, I would
be unwell. I you could ask my family and friends.
I basically just kept saying I don't want to talk
about it. I don't want to talk about it. Even now,
they keep asking me questions, like normal questions like wait,
what was it like in the pods or how did
you do this? And I'm like, you, guys, this was
(04:34):
a year ago, and they're like, yeah, we know, but
you wouldn't tell us.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I would just shut it down. I'm finally ready to
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So when you go into the pods on the show,
how do you decide who is it? Like you do
a speed round where you talk to everybody and then
you say, Okay, I like to these people exactly how
many do you choose base the first round?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
It totally depends on the cast, but we had a
rather large cast. There were sixteen women and sixteen men.
So the first day was sixteen dates I think around
nine minutes each something like that.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
You can tell pretty quick, Oh.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Girl, I was. I was so overwhelmed. But it is
you can kind of tell like is there chemistry or not?
And you know, for certain people, they're like obvious deal breakers,
and if you just get those out of the way,
it kind of makes it easy just to soar through
because how else do you figure it out?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
These are sixteen human beings on the other side.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah, how are you supposed to figure out if they're
a good person a good match for you in just
a few minutes.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
But it's easier than you think.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah, did you have a list of questions that you
just went in being like I'm asked like that were
deal breakers?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
You know, I really how you did it.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
I really only had one major deal breaker, but it
made it very easy for me to kind of filter through.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
I just politics.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Honestly, I just I feel really really strongly about human rights.
And you know, I think being in healthcare in particular
and being exposed to such a wide variety of people
that becomes so important to us, and we see, I
think the after effects of if people aren't treated fairly
and equally, and so it's something I feel so so
(06:17):
strongly about. And I knew that while I can have
a respectful conversation with anyone about anything, if you're going
to be sleeping in my bed next to me, I
want to make sure that these things that are the
most important to me are also important to you.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, very very true. Okay, wait, so you you were
one of the couples that did get engaged. There was
a record breaking number of you this season, apparently seven couples.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
So many that one didn't even make amend.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I don't know if they in trust this on the reunion,
so pardon me if this is repeated information for anybody watching.
But why did you all go to Mexico and Vic
and Christine go to Malibu?
Speaker 4 (06:54):
So they do talk about it a little bit o reunion.
I don't know what I'm allowed to say about that,
but we all knew. I mean, we all knew. We
were like, they just take him to the chapel right now,
like to they're both actual saints. What you see? Oh
my gosh, I just knowing Christine. And it's funny because
(07:15):
Christine and I are so different. She's very quiet, she
really kept herself. She was journaling a lot. I never
shut up, and I was like, I don't think she's like,
I don't think I'm her cup of tea. But then
over time we got so so so close, and I
just remember thinking like, who could possibly be her match?
But two minutes of talking to Vic and it's just
(07:37):
we all like we all knew that he was her husband.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
It was wild. It was wild.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
They are the kindest, sweetest, most amazing, most in love people.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
I love them so much.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
That makes me so happy because like, honestly, it was
them and Jordan and Amber that I was like, if
they had all say yes at the altar, like I'm
going to be devastated. I know. The way that it
all panned out for me was as a viewer, as
a viewer, except for you, I mean your story was Yeah,
to be honest, I never liked him.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Well, thank god, thank god you know what I mean.
I've said that about so many things in my life
where I really thought I wanted this thing, whatever it was,
and it didn't work out or blew up in my face.
And in this scenario, it couldn't have happened quick enough.
I just I needed to know what was going on
(08:28):
so that I could get the hell out of there,
and that's what happened. So I'm I'm very very grateful
that I guess he showed his personality quickly.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Can I get your honest, genuine reaction of when the
doors open and y'all saw each other for the first time, like,
did he have Was he anything that you were expecting?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Physically?
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I had no clue.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah, you tried to not even like yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
And it's funny because I think that's so different from
person to person. A lot of people were like, I
just think he's tall, or I think this, or I'm
in and envisioning this.
Speaker 5 (09:01):
I couldn't see anything. I just saw like the blob light.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
That was all.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I really really wasn't sure what to expect. But I also,
I think I say this at some point on the show,
but if I am taken by someone and I care
about them and I love them. I think they're beautiful,
you know, whether that's romantically or not. And if I
think that they're disgusting as far as who they are
(09:27):
as a human being, they can be the hottest person
in the world.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
I'm going to think they're disgusting.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Yes, So I knew, no matter what this person looked like,
I was going to be excited because of how I
felt at the time.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, I feel like I'm the same way.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Well, I think I think there's something and not to discredit.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Men, but I don't know that same thing.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
They don't have that. I don't think I feel like women.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I genuinely feel like someone can be the hottest person
in the room, and if they open their mouth and
it's just not intelligent or kind or funny, if it's.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Bad, I'm immediately turned off. Yeah, and I don't know
that men have that same filter.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
I agree with Eastern and chime men if he wants
Easton's one of the good ones.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
So we don't I was gonna say, I think it's
very rare. I have definitely found men that are like that,
and it's refreshing. I have found women that are on
the other end of the spectrum too, it's just but
in general, I think that it's so deeply rooted for
me that it doesn't it's it's going to overcome everything else.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Yeah, yeah, we're better or for worse.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
So y'all go to Mexico.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
It feels like things are on the up and up.
We're watching people fall in left and right.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Were there anything? I mean, obviously you're watching.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Now that you've watched it, are you like, Oh, they
didn't show that conversation or that didn't happen, and it
was like a prelude into the conversation.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
There was nothing.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
There was nothing that I saw. Again, I was very
you know, rose colored glasses. This is great. Everyone's so happy.
Everything's great. We're in Mexico. We're engaged.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Yeah, yeah, I thought things were good.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I think that no matter what, there's a level of
not necessarily discomfort. But this is a relative stranger. You've
never spent time with them. And then it's like, okay,
go share a hotel room. And of course that's a
little weird, but it seemed like given the circumstances, everything
was pretty normal.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
I guess, yeah, okay, and so you go.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It's just like I I'm trying to be like I
want to be kind because I want to believe that
like this guy, he said what he said and there's
no excuse, but like I do like there was a
lot of editing that like that made him look really bad,
Like it just like snowballed for him. And so I'm.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Okay, that's a he made some decisions.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
And I know, but he did apologize to you.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
Yeah, yes, we know that.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, and you forgave him.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
I don't think I ever said I forgive you, Okay, Okay,
I think that essentially the night after the mixer, And
to be very clear, I had no clue how horrible
the things that he said at the mixer were. I
only knew what he said to me. The things that
he said at the bar to that group of women.
(12:46):
Nobody told me that. I had no clue when I
sat down. You know, we see the episodes at the
same time you do, and when I sat down to
watch that, I had no idea that any of that
was said. I knew it was going to be uncomfortable
to watch, but I had no clue how bad it was.
So the next day he called me spiraling and kind
of was like, you know, clearly I messed up and
(13:08):
he was panicking, and I basically said, you know, I'll
talk to you for a few minutes, but I'm not
going to talk to you again after this. And also,
if you're looking to feel better, I'm not going to
be the person to do that right now. And if
you still want to have a conversation, then fine, And
so we did. But again, I think that was more
oh my gosh, what did I do, rather than feeling
(13:30):
bad about what he said about right.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That's what I'm like. I feel like the apology and
everything is because of like the public backlash versus like
I'm genuinely sorry that I yeah, that I treated you
that way. Yeah, that's what it feels like.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
There's a lot of the apologies that he has said
are kind of like I wish I had handled it differently,
or I wish I'd used different words, which I appreciate
and agree with.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
It's just it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
He said what you said, I know, because like at
the end of the day, like the way he said
it was just like I actually can't believe those words
came out of somebody's mouth.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
That's how I felt, you know, like just to talk
about another human that way, yeah, regardless of who it is.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
Yeah, it was just really gross to me.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yes, So in the conversation that you had with him,
when you were on the couch, as he's saying it,
are you think I always want to know because and
I don't know how much you can say, But there's
obviously people in the room filming.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Right, Oh right, I forget about that, and you have.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
A camera person, probably a producer, there's people. Were you
just looking around like is this really happening? Like were
you making eye contact with people?
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Like what you were?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Just like I was locked in. It was very early
in that conversation that I knew I was out, Oh
like what part as soon as he started saying like
offensive things about my body?
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Right, Yeah, I knew that.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
There was no way that I was going to spend
time with this person again period, And so I was
trying my best to just for myself, stay calm, get
through the conversation, and get out of there.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Honestly, I'm really proud of like the way you handled it,
because you didn't lash out, you didn't like give it back,
and you also just like cut it off quickly, Whereas
I feel like, you know, maybe some other people would
have been like, well, maybe we can work on this,
you know, like we're engaged, like you know what I mean,
(15:33):
Like I feel like you were just like no, I'm out,
and you didn't go down to his level, which I
thought was very I love you.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
We've all been there.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I'm just having to be older and have been through
enough situations where I know that at the end of
the day, I want to be able to look myself
in the mirror and go to bed at night knowing
that I handled things the way that I wanted to
and I'm never going to feel bad about what I
did about it. I can't control what anybody else does,
but having been through some tough experiences, you recognize that
(16:02):
it's so much better to just take it in stride,
move along, understand who this person is, and move accordingly,
but don't allow them to make you feel some sort
of way about yourself.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
How did you do that though, because I think, like,
you know, take yourself out of love is blind, take
yourself out of that situation. Like there are people that
are listening that are dealing with like bullies online or
people commenting on their body or you know, like things
like that, and it does it's hard to like you know,
like you said, just kind of like shut it down
and not let it affect you. How did you do
(16:37):
that in this situation?
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I think it's going to affect you no matter what. Unfortunately,
I would love to say that there's like some sort
of trick to get rid of that, But I think
the most important thing is having such a strong sense
of self that you know that that person is wrong
regardless of what they say. And everybody is entitled to
their opinion. Absolutely, it's sometimes it's just mean an unnecessary
(17:00):
and I think in almost every one of those circumstances
that's a reflection of somebody's own insecurities or unhappiness, and
so to try to remind yourself of that. And also,
like I said, if you know the sky is blue,
the sky is blue, it doesn't matter if somebody else
tells you that it's orange. So you have to be
so sure of who you are and so proud of
(17:22):
who you are that it makes it a little bit
easier to say you can say whatever you want.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
I know that that's wrong. I know who I am.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Did you see a video this girl? I'm sure you've
seen many tiktoks made about the situation. Have you watched
anything I have?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
I try not to watch anything like outside of my own,
Like I'll look at my own comments on my own
pictures and things like that. But I also have like
a text thread called Team Jess of all my family
and close friends, and I basically say, if you see
something funny or cute or like nice, you can send
it here so that I can see it.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
But if it's me and I don't, this is nice.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
So this girl said that, and it was the first
time I've heard of this.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
But she said at the party after that conversation, also,
how well this was a timeframe from the conversation to
when you saw him again at the like mixer thing
eight days?
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Oh wow?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh wow. I thought it was like the next day.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Okay, so eight days and y'all hadn't spoken.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Okay, this girl said that you did something called gray rocking.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Have you heard of this? You didn't see this video?
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yeah, I was gonna say I've heard of it, but okay,
I had never heard of it.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
But she was saying, you you did it, And she's like,
I don't know if she intentionally did it, but clearly not.
It's like the way you disarm a narcissist. Oh and so,
And I don't know of churs. I'm not diagnosing Christal Narses,
but like when you have narcissist.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Her behaviors because.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
You went into it and you didn't give him any reaction.
You didn't act enraged and you didn't act sad.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
You didn't give him anything.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And so he kept trying to to like to get
you to react, and you wouldn't do it. And I
was like, I don't know if you knew that you
were doing it, but that was amazing and it made
me go like, oh my gosh, that's how you handle
people like that, you don't do anything.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
And I don't know were you sober that night? Did you?
Were you drinking?
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I think you drink.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
I did have a coke in my in my goblet.
I think I did a shot, But like you were,
I wasn't. I certainly wasn't anywhere near his.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
And people were just like it was amazing, like the
praise of like that those choices, because like you being
able to almost just like shut him down was the
most powerful thing that you could do it, especially in
that moment because he was spiraling obviously intoxicated, and he's
saying all these horrible things to the to the other
(19:53):
girls and guys, and you were just like, what do
you want? Like I don't I'm not here to give
you anything, so like, why do you need to talk
to me? It was amazing, right well?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
And I think over time we recognize like how precious
our energy is. And even in that first conversation on
the couch, I mean, I am very protective of that,
and my immediate thought was, he doesn't get any of this.
He doesn't get any of this, whether it's positive, whether
it's negative. I think that he would have felt better
(20:22):
if I had yelled and screamed and cried and gone crazy,
and I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Did you ever have a conversation with Brie after that?
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Yeah, Brie, did I see that? Right?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
No, Bri and all the girls and I have hung
out multiple times throughout the year, and I think after
that whole thing aired, she felt bad about kind of
how she showed up.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, because I feel like at the end she ended
up ultimately like shutting it down and like shutting him down.
But there were parts where I feel like she was
kind of giving him.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
A little Why are you letting him talk so much?
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Yeah, and so I was like, I was curious if
she had a conversation with you about that or like apologizing.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Anyway, she did reach out to me and essentially said,
you know, I wish I had shown up differently, which
I appreciated.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
So, and we obviously have seen each other many times
since then. WHI I'll see her in a couple of days.
We have another event here in a couple of days
in Clumbt.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
So, okay, you you go on the show Love is Blind?
You are this.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Successful, so just wait, wait one second.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
The thing that just made me so mad about this
man is that he went on a show called Love
is Blind and said what he said. And I'm like
the audacity, just think we've ever and I could be wrong,
have seen like somebody say what he said, Like I understand,
(21:56):
like maybe you know, the chemistry might not be there
after like having those conversations with somebody, but like literally
saying I go for someone that like does pilates every day,
Like why is she going on a show called Love
is Blind?
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Wrong? Show?
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Like wrong?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
There's so many dating shows out there, dude, you got.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Maybe just stay auditions or.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Up or like go on the dating app where you
can see what you're getting, Like I don't know, Okay,
continue great, great.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Yeah, it's a show on MTV, like for ever go next?
Speaker 5 (22:28):
God, that show is so vicious. I like.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Gore, like whatever, like love is? I just thought, was
I w me nuts?
Speaker 2 (22:40):
So you go on the show and you have a
year and everyone's like what happened?
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Tells everything? And you're like, I don't want to talk
about it?
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Are you can't?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
You have to?
Speaker 4 (22:49):
Like well, so for everyone else, I just couldn't talk
about it. But like my immediate family, my best friends
who knew what I had done, they had so many questions.
And I'm very, I'm type A, I'm in healthcare, I'm
the eldest daughter.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
I am very.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
I'm gonna take care of my own. I'm gonna keep going.
I'm gonna figure this out. I have a little bit
of trouble asking her help for sure, which I'm sure
both of you can relate to.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
But a lot of.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Times, how I deal with that in the moment is
I don't wanna I don't want to get into it.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
I don't want to start crying.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
I don't want to deal with any of this, especially
when I know I knew so quickly and so clearly
that like, this is not for me. This is not
an issue. I'm gonna deal with how I feel about it.
But there was never ever a millisecond where I was like, oh, like,
I'm so sad about him, And that made it a
(23:47):
lot easier.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, did you have.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Other connections in the pods where you were like, after
after you had that conversation, that you were like, dang it,
like I wish I had gone in a different direction.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Well, yes, I had a very very strong connection in
the pods really early on, and I was very sure
of it. I typically am very logical, very methodical, very
fact based reasonable, and this was not that. This was
(24:24):
like lightning bolt. Oh my god, who is this person?
I came out of the Pods and said to Ashley.
I ran over to Ashley and said, my life just changed.
I don't know what it means, but literally having a
conversation with this man, my life just changed. And he left,
(24:45):
Why why do you leave? It was not I will
say this experience is really really hard, being in a
pressure cooker, these long days, dating multiple.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
People, yeah sounds exhausting.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Well, and for a lot of people who do the
apps and do these things all the time, like it's
a little bit easier.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
I'm not really a dater very much. He like never
dated prior to this.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
For a long time, he really didn't date, and he
was super uncomfortable dating multiple people.
Speaker 5 (25:22):
He he wasn't.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Sure if it was for him, And we had this deep,
deep connection. Again, like I said, I didn't even know
if it was romantic or not at the time, because
it was so I've never been able to be so
vulnerable and talk to a man the way that I
spoke with him so quickly. And when I think of
(25:47):
having those conversations, I think of having them with my sister,
my best friends, these really really close, safe people.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
And so.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
I was like, is this my friend forever? Is this
the love of my life?
Speaker 5 (26:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, Well, was the timeframe of y'all having your conversation
and then him leaving.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Like what was a couple of days?
Speaker 4 (26:12):
So again a lot changes in a couple of days,
but we essentially had these conversations. We had multiple dates.
Of course, this happens, you know every day. We have
all of these dates and I felt very confident about
him and walked in the room for our next date,
and I could just tell something was.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
I was like, he's uncomfortable either.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
He feels like he needs to break up with me,
and he's panicking about it. He feels like he, you know,
wants to be with somebody else, he doesn't want to
be here something. And my immediate got reaction was to
kind of give him an out and to say, look,
I like, I know how I feel about you. I
know how deep this connection is. I don't know if
that's romantic. It doesn't have to be, you know this,
(26:59):
this could mean just really good friends.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
And I kind of could feel this like ex hill
of relief. And I think that I think that he
was really really scared to hurt anyone or to continue
on with the process. He's an incredibly, incredibly kind, emotionally
intelligent man, and I think that he was really struggling
with how to move forward.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
Honestly, So, did he say I'm leaving?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Did he say bye?
Speaker 5 (27:24):
Did he didn't?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Okay, the producers told you.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
He just wasn't there the next day, But did.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
You didn't know if?
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Because does it work in the sense of like if
you walk in and someone's not there the next day,
do you do you assume?
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Oh, they didn't want to talk to.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Me, so kind of okay.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
But we had a conversation like we're going to be friends.
And one of the one of my favorite parts of
the odds was this, I don't know if you guys
got to see any Silent disco, but they give us
headphones and we get to listen to each other's playlists.
Oh that's fun, which when you were like completely taken
away from your phone, computer, everything for several days, just
(28:05):
listening to some of your favorite songs, is this like
huge emotional, cathartic thing. And so, and it was a
pretty long date because it was kind of well into
the process at this point, and we said.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Like, let's just listen to our songs. And it was
the best date.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
We had so much fun, and then kind of left
it at that, like we're going to be friends and
that's that. And I he would have never known that.
I was kind of devastating at the time, because again
I could tell he was like not good, and I
wanted to be sure he was okay, and so I
wanted to be able to say like we can be friends.
(28:42):
Of course we can. You're wonderful and just kind of
leave it on a happy note. And I wish I
had left.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Honestly, Yeah, you want to be here, and you announced
on the reunion that he is your boyfriend. Yes, his
name is is Harramel Harmal Harmal Harmel like Carmel. But
so he was in the pods. He left, and then
when did you guys rekindle?
Speaker 4 (29:12):
He messaged me shortly after I came back. But my
mindset then at that point was this is my buddy, Like,
that's my bro. We'll hang out, we'll talk about work whatever.
We're both in medicine.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
So I never thought anything about the fact that he
ought to be so much.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
It just was like, yeah, we already decided we were
going to be friends. Of course your messiter, that's not
where his mindset was at. But I didn't know that
for a very long time.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Wow, So he was he like really thought he was
putting that effort out there, and you were like this
guy's friend zone.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
Yes, like he thought he was dropping his left and right.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
First of all, I'm oblivious like that, we'll put that
out there right away. I'm going to take my ninety
percent on that. But I don't think he recognized that.
I assumed he was not romantically and listed in me
when things ended in the pods.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
Oh, when I said.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
We can be friends, it was because I thought that
he just wanted to be friends, and so I thought
we were on the same page and we could be
totally cool and fine. Was I avoiding seeing him a
little bit? Maybe because my feelings were a little bit complicated.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
Probably. Did it take us several several months to actually
hang out?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yes? Oh wow, So how long has it been sin
chall established that you were both romantically interested?
Speaker 5 (30:33):
Maybe like four or five months.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Oh, so you've been together for like four or five months?
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Close.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Well, there was a lot of back and forth at
the beginning, and I was very nervous.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
So three to four, let's say, three to four months something.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
He was here with you to watch the season.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
We've watched some of it together.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
We at the very beginning, like the first six episodes
that dropped since we're in a different time zone, they
dropped it three af and so a few of the
girls came over to my house and we also got
cuddled on my couch and binged it from three am
to nine am while he was doing a twenty four
hour shift at the hospital and came.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
Over right after.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I wanted to do like a quick rapid fire of
just like your knee jerk reactions to the couples that
got engaged on the season.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Oh, we already got Christina, Christina.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
Chris ship forever amazing. Please adopt me.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Wants to be adopted.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
What about Amber and Jordan?
Speaker 5 (31:50):
They're real, so fun. I love them so much, Like.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Do we see it?
Speaker 1 (31:54):
We see them for who they are?
Speaker 4 (31:56):
I think so, okay. I think they're both really honest,
open people.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I was obsessed with them this season.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
They're the best. That's so much fun.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Bri and Connor.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
Bri and Connor. They're very different, but I think that
they make it work for each other. I have spent
less time with them as a couple, I think.
Speaker 5 (32:15):
I think I've seen them more individually.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Do you think that they'll get married at some point?
Speaker 3 (32:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I based on like the most recent conversations at the reunion,
I think so, I think that's the plan.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
I didn't think they I felt they broke up.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Me too, me too, But I'm happy. I actually really
loved him for her.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I did too, but I needed her to get there.
I needed her to love him.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
For how he liked her.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
I think she I think she just needed to have
that like revelation on her own.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah, yeah, okay, I don't know how close you are
with Brittany, but I wanted.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
To reach the TV.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
You know.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
I love having the opportunity to talk about this because
she was fed a totally different story than any of us. See,
I mean, and you can tell in the last episode
he is so clearly they clearly have said they're still
He kept saying the crazy kept saying to her, We're
(33:21):
not going backwards, We're not going backwards. That means you're
still engaged. I think anybody would think that. But then
he would go to the camera and say, crazy shit
she was showing, which is bullshit, by the way, It
is absolutely no.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
That was like she got such a dirty edit. The
way they the way that specific scene went down was
very dirty.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
It was just nasty, and she it was It broke
It broke my heart for her because.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
She was just in it.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
She was doing she was doing what I was doing.
She was there for the right reason. She she believed
this man because I can't even say she thought it
was this way. He was telling her it was that
way and telling everyone else something else.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
So it's just it's just gross to me.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
There was that scene where she was like, I know
you're not going to gush over me or tell me
I'm pretty, and he was like.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
Yeah, no, girl, you deserves a gusher, like let's go.
Speaker 5 (34:18):
Yeah, and she does. She deserves everything and I know
she'll find it.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
There's some revelations about him on the road hand.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Okay, good Emma and Mike.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
I love Emma.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
Emma's my like sweet baby angel, and Mike is totally
cool like it. I'm not saying that because I don't
love Mike, but Emma's like my little sister slash my child.
I always say biologically technically she could probably be my
child time wise. But I think that they both were
really trying to do the right thing. I think that
(34:55):
with the hurdles that were there, it was not it
was not going to be right for them to be together.
And I'm glad because I think they're both really happy
and doing really well.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
It's painful, it was, but it was a hurdle that
they both knew was going to be a hurdle.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
You know they always say, like the red flegs from
the beginning, or like what happens in the beginning is
always what happens at the end.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
They both they.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Never got to the same page even in the it
was like I want a child, I don't.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
I don't think I want a kid.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I can get there in a quick three weeks.
Speaker 5 (35:26):
Yeah, So anybody that's like, oh, for he knew that.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
That was not for neither of them.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
I think they both tried. They both really tried.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
They put themselves in a position to see maybe maybe
things can change with the right person.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
And exactly last, but not least, Ashley and Alex.
Speaker 5 (35:46):
Oh god love. I like Ashley a period.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Did everyone have the collect a feeling towards Alex that like.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
As viewers we did?
Speaker 4 (36:04):
I think so, But I think all the girls that like,
did you have any moments where you talk to him
in the pod and like to most side from the
first day or was that one conversation and done that's eat. Yeah,
I don't remember if we had more than one date,
but it was very I knew that we were a match.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was another painful one. Yeah, Okay,
we had the best time talking with Jessica, and we
actually had the chance to talk with Jessica and her
new boyfriend, Harmal. But you're gonna hear that conversation on Monday.
We can't air it until Monday, so you will be
getting that after our normal podcast on Monday. But thank
(36:46):
you so much, We love you and talk to you
next week. Bye.
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in Today is a special
day because we have a special guest.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yes we do. We fell in love with her from
Love is Blind this season, and I think we all
collectively kind of wrapped her arms around her mid season.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
She united the world she did or the US. She
did the US. We need this no.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Like people all over could be watching the USA Love
is Blind.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, and she collectively had us all on her side correct,
which felt really good.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
It did us for once.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
So I cannot wait to talk to her. I have
so many things to ask and I can't wait for
her to scrub in. So everyone welcome Jessica Barrett. There's
so much to discuss.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
We do want to set the scene for our listen
because we are doing this interview on a Tuesday. The
reunion airs tomorrow. This is airing days after, so everybody
will have already seen the reunion, so we are We
got some spoilers so you know it happens, But we
just want to set the scene.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
We don't know everything.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
We don't know everything, but we know enough.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Okay, can we start. I have so many questions about
the process.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Of Love is Blind in the timeline, the timeline.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
In the process, So how does one get on the show?
Speaker 3 (01:33):
First of all, is it a.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Casting totally different for everyone that you ask I personally
got a DM, which was crazy because I had a
private Instagram.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I don't like.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
My Instagram is literally like my folloween costumes and my bulldogs,
nothing exciting. And I got a message from a casting
person and obviously thought I was like being catfished and
was like, this is crazy. Send it to my little
sister and my parents and they were like, obviously you
need to answer that, and I said, no, there's no
way this is real. And even if it were, there's
(02:07):
no way I could do this with work, with everything crazy.
I had a conversation with Age, the person who reached
out to me from Kinetic, and just kept talking and
it was basically me trying to convince her that she
didn't want me, and her trying to convince me that
(02:27):
she did.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Did you how did you find she?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Probably do their real I feel like they do their
research in because every season of Love is Blinds in
a different city, so they probably go in and like
just hit the ground running, ask people for like recommendations
of like really awesome singles that they know, and then
they just like go in from there.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
That's the only thing I can think.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I think one of my friends maybe said something to
someone and I just don't know.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Otherwise, I just don't know how advice was in the far.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
So we filmed in February, and she messaged me at
some point in the fall. It's a very long process.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
February of twenty twenty five, when we filmed twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Oh, February twenty twenty five. But did she reached out
in fall.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Of twenty four?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, this has been like a full year since you filmed. Okay,
and the reunion was filmed recently, a.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Couple of weeks ago. Maybe I don't even know what
day it is. Where am I? Okay?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
But no, I do think it's interesting because I always wonder,
like after Love is Blind, after we see like the weddings,
why don't we get the reunion right after? And I
think it's because that was filmed a year ago, and
then the reunion is like flashing forward present. Yeah, so
a lot of times played.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Yeah, so a lot has transpired since we've filmed Riley.
And it's funny because especially for those of us that had,
you know, roller coaster experiences.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
I experienced that over a.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Year ago, and how are we living it?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Worked through it and done all of these things, and
then all of a sudden, everyone else's experience and sing
it with me and like oh my god, Oh my god.
And I'm like, yeah, that's kind of like old news.
At this point, I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Good, which is why you're probably able to like talk
about it.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
One hundred fresh.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
I think that if I had to have these conversations
over and over when it had just happened, I would
be unwell. I you could ask my family and friends.
I basically just kept saying I don't want to talk
about it. I don't want to talk about it. Even now,
they keep asking me questions, like normal questions like wait,
what was it like in the pods or how did
you do this? And I'm like, you, guys, this was
(04:34):
a year ago, and they're like, yeah, we know, but
you wouldn't tell us.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I would just shut it down. I'm finally ready to
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So when you go into the pods on the show,
how do you decide who is it? Like you do
a speed round where you talk to everybody and then
you say, Okay, I like to these people exactly how
many do you choose base the first round?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
It totally depends on the cast, but we had a
rather large cast. There were sixteen women and sixteen men.
So the first day was sixteen dates I think around
nine minutes each something like that.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
You can tell pretty quick, Oh.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Girl, I was. I was so overwhelmed. But it is
you can kind of tell like is there chemistry or not?
And you know, for certain people, they're like obvious deal breakers,
and if you just get those out of the way,
it kind of makes it easy just to soar through
because how else do you figure it out?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
These are sixteen human beings on the other side.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah, how are you supposed to figure out if they're
a good person a good match for you in just
a few minutes.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
But it's easier than you think.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah, did you have a list of questions that you
just went in being like I'm asked like that were
deal breakers?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
You know, I really how you did it.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
I really only had one major deal breaker, but it
made it very easy for me to kind of filter through.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
I just politics.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Honestly, I just I feel really really strongly about human rights.
And you know, I think being in healthcare in particular
and being exposed to such a wide variety of people
that becomes so important to us, and we see, I
think the after effects of if people aren't treated fairly
and equally, and so it's something I feel so so
(06:17):
strongly about. And I knew that while I can have
a respectful conversation with anyone about anything, if you're going
to be sleeping in my bed next to me, I
want to make sure that these things that are the
most important to me are also important to you.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, very very true. Okay, wait, so you you were
one of the couples that did get engaged. There was
a record breaking number of you this season, apparently seven couples.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
So many that one didn't even make amend.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I don't know if they in trust this on the reunion,
so pardon me if this is repeated information for anybody watching.
But why did you all go to Mexico and Vic
and Christine go to Malibu?
Speaker 4 (06:54):
So they do talk about it a little bit o reunion.
I don't know what I'm allowed to say about that,
but we all knew. I mean, we all knew. We
were like, they just take him to the chapel right now,
like to they're both actual saints. What you see? Oh
my gosh, I just knowing Christine. And it's funny because
(07:15):
Christine and I are so different. She's very quiet, she
really kept herself. She was journaling a lot. I never
shut up, and I was like, I don't think she's like,
I don't think I'm her cup of tea. But then
over time we got so so so close, and I
just remember thinking like, who could possibly be her match?
But two minutes of talking to Vic and it's just
(07:37):
we all like we all knew that he was her husband.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
It was wild. It was wild.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
They are the kindest, sweetest, most amazing, most in love people.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
I love them so much.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
That makes me so happy because like, honestly, it was
them and Jordan and Amber that I was like, if
they had all say yes at the altar, like I'm
going to be devastated. I know. The way that it
all panned out for me was as a viewer, as
a viewer, except for you, I mean your story was Yeah,
to be honest, I never liked him.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Well, thank god, thank god you know what I mean.
I've said that about so many things in my life
where I really thought I wanted this thing, whatever it was,
and it didn't work out or blew up in my face.
And in this scenario, it couldn't have happened quick enough.
I just I needed to know what was going on
(08:28):
so that I could get the hell out of there,
and that's what happened. So I'm I'm very very grateful
that I guess he showed his personality quickly.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Can I get your honest, genuine reaction of when the
doors open and y'all saw each other for the first time, like,
did he have Was he anything that you were expecting?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Physically?
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I had no clue.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah, you tried to not even like yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
And it's funny because I think that's so different from
person to person. A lot of people were like, I
just think he's tall, or I think this, or I'm
in and envisioning this.
Speaker 5 (09:01):
I couldn't see anything. I just saw like the blob light.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
That was all.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I really really wasn't sure what to expect. But I also,
I think I say this at some point on the show,
but if I am taken by someone and I care
about them and I love them. I think they're beautiful,
you know, whether that's romantically or not. And if I
think that they're disgusting as far as who they are
(09:27):
as a human being, they can be the hottest person
in the world.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
I'm going to think they're disgusting.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Yes, So I knew, no matter what this person looked like,
I was going to be excited because of how I
felt at the time.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, I feel like I'm the same way.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Well, I think I think there's something and not to discredit.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Men, but I don't know that same thing.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
They don't have that. I don't think I feel like women.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I genuinely feel like someone can be the hottest person
in the room, and if they open their mouth and
it's just not intelligent or kind or funny, if it's.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Bad, I'm immediately turned off. Yeah, and I don't know
that men have that same filter.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
I agree with Eastern and chime men if he wants
Easton's one of the good ones.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
So we don't I was gonna say, I think it's
very rare. I have definitely found men that are like that,
and it's refreshing. I have found women that are on
the other end of the spectrum too, it's just but
in general, I think that it's so deeply rooted for
me that it doesn't it's it's going to overcome everything else.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Yeah, yeah, we're better or for worse.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
So y'all go to Mexico.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
It feels like things are on the up and up.
We're watching people fall in left and right.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Were there anything? I mean, obviously you're watching.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Now that you've watched it, are you like, Oh, they
didn't show that conversation or that didn't happen, and it
was like a prelude into the conversation.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
There was nothing.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
There was nothing that I saw. Again, I was very
you know, rose colored glasses. This is great. Everyone's so happy.
Everything's great. We're in Mexico. We're engaged.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Yeah, yeah, I thought things were good.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I think that no matter what, there's a level of
not necessarily discomfort. But this is a relative stranger. You've
never spent time with them. And then it's like, okay,
go share a hotel room. And of course that's a
little weird, but it seemed like given the circumstances, everything
was pretty normal.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
I guess, yeah, okay, and so you go.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It's just like I I'm trying to be like I
want to be kind because I want to believe that
like this guy, he said what he said and there's
no excuse, but like I do like there was a
lot of editing that like that made him look really bad,
Like it just like snowballed for him. And so I'm.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Okay, that's a he made some decisions.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
And I know, but he did apologize to you.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
Yeah, yes, we know that.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, and you forgave him.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
I don't think I ever said I forgive you, Okay, Okay,
I think that essentially the night after the mixer, And
to be very clear, I had no clue how horrible
the things that he said at the mixer were. I
only knew what he said to me. The things that
he said at the bar to that group of women.
(12:46):
Nobody told me that. I had no clue when I
sat down. You know, we see the episodes at the
same time you do, and when I sat down to
watch that, I had no idea that any of that
was said. I knew it was going to be uncomfortable
to watch, but I had no clue how bad it was.
So the next day he called me spiraling and kind
of was like, you know, clearly I messed up and
(13:08):
he was panicking, and I basically said, you know, I'll
talk to you for a few minutes, but I'm not
going to talk to you again after this. And also,
if you're looking to feel better, I'm not going to
be the person to do that right now. And if
you still want to have a conversation, then fine, And
so we did. But again, I think that was more
oh my gosh, what did I do, rather than feeling
(13:30):
bad about what he said about right.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That's what I'm like. I feel like the apology and
everything is because of like the public backlash versus like
I'm genuinely sorry that I yeah, that I treated you
that way. Yeah, that's what it feels like.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
There's a lot of the apologies that he has said
are kind of like I wish I had handled it differently,
or I wish I'd used different words, which I appreciate
and agree with.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
It's just it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
He said what you said, I know, because like at
the end of the day, like the way he said
it was just like I actually can't believe those words
came out of somebody's mouth.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
That's how I felt, you know, like just to talk
about another human that way, yeah, regardless of who it is.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
Yeah, it was just really gross to me.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yes, So in the conversation that you had with him,
when you were on the couch, as he's saying it,
are you think I always want to know because and
I don't know how much you can say, But there's
obviously people in the room filming.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Right, Oh right, I forget about that, and you have.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
A camera person, probably a producer, there's people. Were you
just looking around like is this really happening? Like were
you making eye contact with people?
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Like what you were?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Just like I was locked in. It was very early
in that conversation that I knew I was out, Oh
like what part as soon as he started saying like
offensive things about my body?
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Right, Yeah, I knew that.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
There was no way that I was going to spend
time with this person again period, And so I was
trying my best to just for myself, stay calm, get
through the conversation, and get out of there.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Honestly, I'm really proud of like the way you handled it,
because you didn't lash out, you didn't like give it back,
and you also just like cut it off quickly, Whereas
I feel like, you know, maybe some other people would
have been like, well, maybe we can work on this,
you know, like we're engaged, like you know what I mean,
(15:33):
Like I feel like you were just like no, I'm out,
and you didn't go down to his level, which I
thought was very I love you.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
We've all been there.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I'm just having to be older and have been through
enough situations where I know that at the end of
the day, I want to be able to look myself
in the mirror and go to bed at night knowing
that I handled things the way that I wanted to
and I'm never going to feel bad about what I
did about it. I can't control what anybody else does,
but having been through some tough experiences, you recognize that
(16:02):
it's so much better to just take it in stride,
move along, understand who this person is, and move accordingly,
but don't allow them to make you feel some sort
of way about yourself.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
How did you do that though, because I think, like,
you know, take yourself out of love is blind, take
yourself out of that situation. Like there are people that
are listening that are dealing with like bullies online or
people commenting on their body or you know, like things
like that, and it does it's hard to like you know,
like you said, just kind of like shut it down
and not let it affect you. How did you do
(16:37):
that in this situation?
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I think it's going to affect you no matter what. Unfortunately,
I would love to say that there's like some sort
of trick to get rid of that, But I think
the most important thing is having such a strong sense
of self that you know that that person is wrong
regardless of what they say. And everybody is entitled to
their opinion. Absolutely, it's sometimes it's just mean an unnecessary
(17:00):
and I think in almost every one of those circumstances
that's a reflection of somebody's own insecurities or unhappiness, and
so to try to remind yourself of that. And also,
like I said, if you know the sky is blue,
the sky is blue, it doesn't matter if somebody else
tells you that it's orange. So you have to be
so sure of who you are and so proud of
(17:22):
who you are that it makes it a little bit
easier to say you can say whatever you want.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
I know that that's wrong. I know who I am.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Did you see a video this girl? I'm sure you've
seen many tiktoks made about the situation. Have you watched
anything I have?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
I try not to watch anything like outside of my own,
Like I'll look at my own comments on my own
pictures and things like that. But I also have like
a text thread called Team Jess of all my family
and close friends, and I basically say, if you see
something funny or cute or like nice, you can send
it here so that I can see it.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
But if it's me and I don't, this is nice.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
So this girl said that, and it was the first
time I've heard of this.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
But she said at the party after that conversation, also,
how well this was a timeframe from the conversation to
when you saw him again at the like mixer thing
eight days?
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Oh wow?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh wow. I thought it was like the next day.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Okay, so eight days and y'all hadn't spoken.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Okay, this girl said that you did something called gray rocking.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Have you heard of this? You didn't see this video?
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yeah, I was gonna say I've heard of it, but okay,
I had never heard of it.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
But she was saying, you you did it, And she's like,
I don't know if she intentionally did it, but clearly not.
It's like the way you disarm a narcissist. Oh and so,
And I don't know of churs. I'm not diagnosing Christal Narses,
but like when you have narcissist.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Her behaviors because.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
You went into it and you didn't give him any reaction.
You didn't act enraged and you didn't act sad.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
You didn't give him anything.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And so he kept trying to to like to get
you to react, and you wouldn't do it. And I
was like, I don't know if you knew that you
were doing it, but that was amazing and it made
me go like, oh my gosh, that's how you handle
people like that, you don't do anything.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
And I don't know were you sober that night? Did you?
Were you drinking?
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I think you drink.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
I did have a coke in my in my goblet.
I think I did a shot, But like you were,
I wasn't. I certainly wasn't anywhere near his.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
And people were just like it was amazing, like the
praise of like that those choices, because like you being
able to almost just like shut him down was the
most powerful thing that you could do it, especially in
that moment because he was spiraling obviously intoxicated, and he's
saying all these horrible things to the to the other
(19:53):
girls and guys, and you were just like, what do
you want? Like I don't I'm not here to give
you anything, so like, why do you need to talk
to me? It was amazing, right well?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
And I think over time we recognize like how precious
our energy is. And even in that first conversation on
the couch, I mean, I am very protective of that,
and my immediate thought was, he doesn't get any of this.
He doesn't get any of this, whether it's positive, whether
it's negative. I think that he would have felt better
(20:22):
if I had yelled and screamed and cried and gone crazy,
and I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Did you ever have a conversation with Brie after that?
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Yeah, Brie, did I see that? Right?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
No, Bri and all the girls and I have hung
out multiple times throughout the year, and I think after
that whole thing aired, she felt bad about kind of
how she showed up.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, because I feel like at the end she ended
up ultimately like shutting it down and like shutting him down.
But there were parts where I feel like she was
kind of giving him.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
A little Why are you letting him talk so much?
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Yeah, and so I was like, I was curious if
she had a conversation with you about that or like apologizing.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Anyway, she did reach out to me and essentially said,
you know, I wish I had shown up differently, which
I appreciated.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
So, and we obviously have seen each other many times
since then. WHI I'll see her in a couple of days.
We have another event here in a couple of days
in Clumbt.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
So, okay, you you go on the show Love is Blind?
You are this.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Successful, so just wait, wait one second.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
The thing that just made me so mad about this
man is that he went on a show called Love
is Blind and said what he said. And I'm like
the audacity, just think we've ever and I could be wrong,
have seen like somebody say what he said, Like I understand,
(21:56):
like maybe you know, the chemistry might not be there
after like having those conversations with somebody, but like literally
saying I go for someone that like does pilates every day,
Like why is she going on a show called Love
is Blind?
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Wrong? Show?
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Like wrong?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
There's so many dating shows out there, dude, you got.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Maybe just stay auditions or.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Up or like go on the dating app where you
can see what you're getting, Like I don't know, Okay,
continue great, great.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Yeah, it's a show on MTV, like for ever go next?
Speaker 5 (22:28):
God, that show is so vicious. I like.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Gore, like whatever, like love is? I just thought, was
I w me nuts?
Speaker 2 (22:40):
So you go on the show and you have a
year and everyone's like what happened?
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Tells everything? And you're like, I don't want to talk
about it?
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Are you can't?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
You have to?
Speaker 4 (22:49):
Like well, so for everyone else, I just couldn't talk
about it. But like my immediate family, my best friends
who knew what I had done, they had so many questions.
And I'm very, I'm type A, I'm in healthcare, I'm
the eldest daughter.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
I am very.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
I'm gonna take care of my own. I'm gonna keep going.
I'm gonna figure this out. I have a little bit
of trouble asking her help for sure, which I'm sure
both of you can relate to.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
But a lot of.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Times, how I deal with that in the moment is
I don't wanna I don't want to get into it.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
I don't want to start crying.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
I don't want to deal with any of this, especially
when I know I knew so quickly and so clearly
that like, this is not for me. This is not
an issue. I'm gonna deal with how I feel about it.
But there was never ever a millisecond where I was like, oh, like,
I'm so sad about him, And that made it a
(23:47):
lot easier.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, did you have.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Other connections in the pods where you were like, after
after you had that conversation, that you were like, dang it,
like I wish I had gone in a different direction.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Well, yes, I had a very very strong connection in
the pods really early on, and I was very sure
of it. I typically am very logical, very methodical, very
fact based reasonable, and this was not that. This was
(24:24):
like lightning bolt. Oh my god, who is this person?
I came out of the Pods and said to Ashley.
I ran over to Ashley and said, my life just changed.
I don't know what it means, but literally having a
conversation with this man, my life just changed. And he left,
(24:45):
Why why do you leave? It was not I will
say this experience is really really hard, being in a
pressure cooker, these long days, dating multiple.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
People, yeah sounds exhausting.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Well, and for a lot of people who do the
apps and do these things all the time, like it's
a little bit easier.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
I'm not really a dater very much. He like never
dated prior to this.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
For a long time, he really didn't date, and he
was super uncomfortable dating multiple people.
Speaker 5 (25:22):
He he wasn't.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Sure if it was for him, And we had this deep,
deep connection. Again, like I said, I didn't even know
if it was romantic or not at the time, because
it was so I've never been able to be so
vulnerable and talk to a man the way that I
spoke with him so quickly. And when I think of
(25:47):
having those conversations, I think of having them with my sister,
my best friends, these really really close, safe people.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
And so.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
I was like, is this my friend forever? Is this
the love of my life?
Speaker 5 (26:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, Well, was the timeframe of y'all having your conversation
and then him leaving.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Like what was a couple of days?
Speaker 4 (26:12):
So again a lot changes in a couple of days,
but we essentially had these conversations. We had multiple dates.
Of course, this happens, you know every day. We have
all of these dates and I felt very confident about
him and walked in the room for our next date,
and I could just tell something was.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
I was like, he's uncomfortable either.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
He feels like he needs to break up with me,
and he's panicking about it. He feels like he, you know,
wants to be with somebody else, he doesn't want to
be here something. And my immediate got reaction was to
kind of give him an out and to say, look,
I like, I know how I feel about you. I
know how deep this connection is. I don't know if
that's romantic. It doesn't have to be, you know this,
(26:59):
this could mean just really good friends.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
And I kind of could feel this like ex hill
of relief. And I think that I think that he
was really really scared to hurt anyone or to continue
on with the process. He's an incredibly, incredibly kind, emotionally
intelligent man, and I think that he was really struggling
with how to move forward.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
Honestly, So, did he say I'm leaving?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Did he say bye?
Speaker 5 (27:24):
Did he didn't?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Okay, the producers told you.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
He just wasn't there the next day, But did.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
You didn't know if?
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Because does it work in the sense of like if
you walk in and someone's not there the next day,
do you do you assume?
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Oh, they didn't want to talk to.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Me, so kind of okay.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
But we had a conversation like we're going to be friends.
And one of the one of my favorite parts of
the odds was this, I don't know if you guys
got to see any Silent disco, but they give us
headphones and we get to listen to each other's playlists.
Oh that's fun, which when you were like completely taken
away from your phone, computer, everything for several days, just
(28:05):
listening to some of your favorite songs, is this like
huge emotional, cathartic thing. And so, and it was a
pretty long date because it was kind of well into
the process at this point, and we said.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Like, let's just listen to our songs. And it was
the best date.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
We had so much fun, and then kind of left
it at that, like we're going to be friends and
that's that. And I he would have never known that.
I was kind of devastating at the time, because again
I could tell he was like not good, and I
wanted to be sure he was okay, and so I
wanted to be able to say like we can be friends.
(28:42):
Of course we can. You're wonderful and just kind of
leave it on a happy note. And I wish I
had left.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Honestly, Yeah, you want to be here, and you announced
on the reunion that he is your boyfriend. Yes, his
name is is Harramel Harmal Harmal Harmel like Carmel. But
so he was in the pods. He left, and then
when did you guys rekindle?
Speaker 4 (29:12):
He messaged me shortly after I came back. But my
mindset then at that point was this is my buddy, Like,
that's my bro. We'll hang out, we'll talk about work whatever.
We're both in medicine.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
So I never thought anything about the fact that he
ought to be so much.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
It just was like, yeah, we already decided we were
going to be friends. Of course your messiter, that's not
where his mindset was at. But I didn't know that
for a very long time.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Wow, So he was he like really thought he was
putting that effort out there, and you were like this
guy's friend zone.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
Yes, like he thought he was dropping his left and right.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
First of all, I'm oblivious like that, we'll put that
out there right away. I'm going to take my ninety
percent on that. But I don't think he recognized that.
I assumed he was not romantically and listed in me
when things ended in the pods.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
Oh, when I said.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
We can be friends, it was because I thought that
he just wanted to be friends, and so I thought
we were on the same page and we could be
totally cool and fine. Was I avoiding seeing him a
little bit? Maybe because my feelings were a little bit complicated.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
Probably. Did it take us several several months to actually
hang out?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yes? Oh wow, So how long has it been sin
chall established that you were both romantically interested?
Speaker 5 (30:33):
Maybe like four or five months.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Oh, so you've been together for like four or five months?
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Close.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Well, there was a lot of back and forth at
the beginning, and I was very nervous.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
So three to four, let's say, three to four months something.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
He was here with you to watch the season.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
We've watched some of it together.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
We at the very beginning, like the first six episodes
that dropped since we're in a different time zone, they
dropped it three af and so a few of the
girls came over to my house and we also got
cuddled on my couch and binged it from three am
to nine am while he was doing a twenty four
hour shift at the hospital and came.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
Over right after.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I wanted to do like a quick rapid fire of
just like your knee jerk reactions to the couples that
got engaged on the season.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Oh, we already got Christina, Christina.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
Chris ship forever amazing. Please adopt me.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Wants to be adopted.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
What about Amber and Jordan?
Speaker 5 (31:50):
They're real, so fun. I love them so much, Like.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Do we see it?
Speaker 1 (31:54):
We see them for who they are?
Speaker 4 (31:56):
I think so, okay. I think they're both really honest,
open people.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I was obsessed with them this season.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
They're the best. That's so much fun.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Bri and Connor.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
Bri and Connor. They're very different, but I think that
they make it work for each other. I have spent
less time with them as a couple, I think.
Speaker 5 (32:15):
I think I've seen them more individually.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Do you think that they'll get married at some point?
Speaker 3 (32:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I based on like the most recent conversations at the reunion,
I think so, I think that's the plan.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
I didn't think they I felt they broke up.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Me too, me too, But I'm happy. I actually really
loved him for her.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I did too, but I needed her to get there.
I needed her to love him.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
For how he liked her.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
I think she I think she just needed to have
that like revelation on her own.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah, yeah, okay, I don't know how close you are
with Brittany, but I wanted.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
To reach the TV.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
You know.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
I love having the opportunity to talk about this because
she was fed a totally different story than any of us. See,
I mean, and you can tell in the last episode
he is so clearly they clearly have said they're still
He kept saying the crazy kept saying to her, We're
(33:21):
not going backwards, We're not going backwards. That means you're
still engaged. I think anybody would think that. But then
he would go to the camera and say, crazy shit
she was showing, which is bullshit, by the way, It
is absolutely no.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
That was like she got such a dirty edit. The
way they the way that specific scene went down was
very dirty.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
It was just nasty, and she it was It broke
It broke my heart for her because.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
She was just in it.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
She was doing she was doing what I was doing.
She was there for the right reason. She she believed
this man because I can't even say she thought it
was this way. He was telling her it was that
way and telling everyone else something else.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
So it's just it's just gross to me.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
There was that scene where she was like, I know
you're not going to gush over me or tell me
I'm pretty, and he was like.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
Yeah, no, girl, you deserves a gusher, like let's go.
Speaker 5 (34:18):
Yeah, and she does. She deserves everything and I know
she'll find it.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
There's some revelations about him on the road hand.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Okay, good Emma and Mike.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
I love Emma.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
Emma's my like sweet baby angel, and Mike is totally
cool like it. I'm not saying that because I don't
love Mike, but Emma's like my little sister slash my child.
I always say biologically technically she could probably be my
child time wise. But I think that they both were
really trying to do the right thing. I think that
(34:55):
with the hurdles that were there, it was not it
was not going to be right for them to be together.
And I'm glad because I think they're both really happy
and doing really well.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
It's painful, it was, but it was a hurdle that
they both knew was going to be a hurdle.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
You know they always say, like the red flegs from
the beginning, or like what happens in the beginning is
always what happens at the end.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
They both they.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Never got to the same page even in the it
was like I want a child, I don't.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
I don't think I want a kid.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I can get there in a quick three weeks.
Speaker 5 (35:26):
Yeah, So anybody that's like, oh, for he knew that.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
That was not for neither of them.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
I think they both tried. They both really tried.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
They put themselves in a position to see maybe maybe
things can change with the right person.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
And exactly last, but not least, Ashley and Alex.
Speaker 5 (35:46):
Oh god love. I like Ashley a period.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Did everyone have the collect a feeling towards Alex that like.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
As viewers we did?
Speaker 4 (36:04):
I think so, But I think all the girls that like,
did you have any moments where you talk to him
in the pod and like to most side from the
first day or was that one conversation and done that's eat. Yeah,
I don't remember if we had more than one date,
but it was very I knew that we were a match.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was another painful one. Yeah, Okay,
we had the best time talking with Jessica, and we
actually had the chance to talk with Jessica and her
new boyfriend, Harmal. But you're gonna hear that conversation on Monday.
We can't air it until Monday, so you will be
getting that after our normal podcast on Monday. But thank
(36:46):
you so much, We love you and talk to you
next week. Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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