Jim Curtis on How to Change the Beliefs That Are Running Your Life

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Your conscious mind has logic, Your subconscious mind has happened.
It's all an illusion. It's all a program that we've created.
It's not necessarily true.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Are we able to change our subconscious one hundred percent?

Speaker 3 (00:09):
Jim Curtis is a transformational coach, author, and hypnotherapist who
has spent years studying how the subconscious mind shapes our reality,
not just how we think, but how we heal, love,
and create. He teaches that we don't manifest what we want,
but we manifest what we believe our identity can achieve.

Speaker 4 (00:25):
It's emotion driven.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Everybody has to just say one word and how they're feeling.
So question everything because when we stop questioning things, and
that becomes absolute truth. Questioning yourself, right, is this the
right choice? As opposed to why did I make that choice?
It's allowing you to control your own mind. I'm no
longer a victim of it. Yeah, and instead its life
is not happening to me anymore, It's happening through me.

(00:47):
Anytime that we want to change our identity, just start
to change the way that we use the word the
two words I am, I'm.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Rady w KA and on my podcast, A really good
Cry we embrace the messy and the beautiful, iding a
space for raw, unfielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow
you to tune in to learn, connect, and find comfort together.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Jim, thank you so much for being here. I'm so
grateful to have you.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Have been following your work for a while, and I'm
so excited to have this conversation with you.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
I've been following your videos and work for years. Have
you Yes, Yes, I love everyone that you cut together,
and I always thought you.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
Were so funny.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Oh, thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
Well, hopefully we'll be able to have some sort of
humor in this conversation. I wanted to start off by
asking you because I know a lot of your work,
if not most of it, is to do with the
subconscious mind. And I think I hear that word a lot,
and I think people have, I'm sure heard the term,
but I'm not sure people actually know what that means, Like,
what is the subconscious mind?

Speaker 1 (01:43):
The subconscious mind is the level below your conscious mind,
So some people call it the unconscious. But the school
that I went to said, you're not unconscious. That's when
you're sleeping, or maybe when you're sleeping, you're not even unconscious.
Imagine if when we're sleeping, we're actually just going into
a totally different dimension altogether.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
So the subconscious mind is the level below your conscious mind,
the autonomic nervous system. Some people even believe it's not
even in your body or in your mind, it's just
your energy.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Right.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
And is it something that we have the ability to
control or have any kind of control over, or is
it something that is beyond us We.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Can control because we built it. It's a program, so
we based on from zero to eight years old, when
we were growing up, we'd have this emotion this is
like real emotion and drop into our subconscious mind and
become a belief, and then that belief creates the program
that runs our conscious mind. We think that our conscious
mind's in control, it's like five percent of our decision
making and nine is a subconscious No.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Way, And so what I know, you just mentioned a
few things, But what from the moment we're born to
our adulthood creates our subconscious Like, what is it that's
impacting our subconscious to make.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Our teachers, our parents, our older siblings?

Speaker 4 (02:52):
You know?

Speaker 1 (02:52):
You know that's what people talk about generational trauma too,
that this is like the trauma from even our genes,
even just goles down, or just learning from our parents
when they tell us, hey, money doesn't grow on trees,
and all of a sudden, we have this belief that
we have to work really hard for money in that
where like it's hard or not good enough.

Speaker 4 (03:11):
It's a big one.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
And so is it our automatic reaction to something?

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Is that how the subconscious would present itself on a
daily basis, Like would how on a day to day
basis when I'm walking around, how does my subconscious come out?

Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (03:25):
So it is very much so like have you ever
had a reflex you drop your keys and all of
a sudden you care from really quickly. That's your subconscious
Your conscious mind has logic, your subconscious mind has habit.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
Your conscious mind has logic, and your subconscious mind has habit. Yeah, okay,
And then are we able to change.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
Our subconscious one hundred percent?

Speaker 3 (03:47):
And what are some of the practices and tools that
we would be able to use to be able to
do that?

Speaker 1 (03:52):
So we've been programmed, right, All this stuff is programmed
subconscious mind, and then the program runs and we start
to live that we believe it's reality.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
So just change the program.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
We have to recognize that it's all made up, right,
It's all an illusion. It's all a program that we've created.
It's not necessarily true. So we start to think that
the subconscious mind is really true, like our identity. We
have to be this person, it has to be and
my pain is real and all these things are real.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
So the first part to actually.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
Changing the subconscious mind is realizing that.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
It's all an illusion, it's all fake.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
And the second part is to say, okay, what is
what am I aware of? What can I be aware of?
And it's like, I don't really know what my.

Speaker 4 (04:31):
Programs are my subconscious mind.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
We all you have to do is look at the
results in your life consciously and what are you getting.
Are you really good with organization? Are you really good
with meeting new people? Are you really good with love?
Are you really good with parenting? Are you really good
or are you really bad at some of those things?
And you got to see what your beliefs in your
subconscious mind are. So that's awareness, and the next part
is when you go in to actually change it. You

(04:55):
can actually start to talk to yourself differently because your
subconscious mind is always.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
Listening, right, and then you mentioned awareness. Now, I think
a lot of people can go through the day me
included for a lot of my life where I didn't
actually know parts of myself, I didn't know what I
was good at wasn't good at. I found it really
difficult to become aware of who I was and you know,
let alone my subconscious self or my day to day stuff.

(05:18):
And so what are some techniques day to day that
someone could be using to start at that first step
of just being aware, Like, how do I become aware
of my subconscious and myself?

Speaker 4 (05:30):
Yeah, that's interesting.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
It's emotion driven, So just being emotionally Like what in
some of the groups that I do, everybody has to
just say one word and how they're.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Feeling right in the moment.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yeah, and some people like I feel good, I feel great,
I feel whatever. Those aren't emotions, right, So there's like
four thousand emotions that we can possibly have when we
start to live in these like five emotions or six
emotions of I feel angry, jealous, whatever, happy, excited.

Speaker 4 (05:57):
There's so many more emotions.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
So when we come up present to how we're actually
feeling and being able to express it, and we can
build awareness how.

Speaker 4 (06:04):
Did you do it?

Speaker 3 (06:05):
By one sitting with myself in a lot of silence,
like really listening to what my mind is telling me.
I had to do that a lot to you know,
whenever I would ask other people to input into my life,
or whenever I would ask someone else to make a
decision for me, I had to really sit and think,
but why am I not able to make this decision
for myself? Like what is it that's stopping me from
believing that I can do this myself? Believing that someone

(06:28):
else has a stronger hold or a stronger understanding of
who I am?

Speaker 2 (06:33):
And why do I feel that way?

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Because obviously there's a deeper rooted issue for me to
outsource what I should be doing for myself to other people.
And so I had to spend a lot of time
listening to the words that I was saying to myself,
because a lot of what I was outputting was based
on the things I must have been telling myself for
a long time that you can't make your own decisions.
If you do, they're probably going to be the worst ones.
Your mum knows you better than you do. Your system

(06:57):
makes better decisions, she's smarter than you. Well, what of
those things were Yeah, I didn't realize that they were
playing in my mind constantly, which then meant the output
or the questions I was asking or you know, if
someone would ask me a question, the first thing I
would do is look to my husband or my sister
for them to answer it, even if it was about me.
I noticed only when I saw someone who I felt
was so confident and had so much self belief and

(07:21):
help themselves. So you know when someone walks into a room,
when you feel the energy and you're like, that person
feels confident, not even by what they're saying, but by
the energy that they're carrying.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
And I was like, how does someone even become like that?

Speaker 3 (07:31):
And I realized it's like firm faith and belief in
their own powers, their own abilities, their own voice. And
then I found ways to slowly strengthen.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
That in that way.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
But it's really, you know you were saying, it's a habit,
Like the subconscious is a habit, and for me, I
find it so easy to slip back into it, even
if you've created new pathways. If you get put into
like a specific environment, that.

Speaker 4 (07:51):
The trigger that's Oh.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Okay, what the thing that I heard you say? Though,
is probably the most important way to change your subconscious mind,
which pot what I heard you say is I started.

Speaker 4 (08:03):
To question it.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
Right, So question everything because when we stop questioning things,
and that becomes absolute truth. And there is no absolute truth.
Everybody has their own truth. I remember a Buddhist teacher
of mine said, you know, when you look out at
the Hudson River in New York City and at twilight
and the sun is setting, and you can see the
twinkling on the right waves in the middle, and so

(08:26):
serene and so beautiful that you just want to get
out there and touch it. Is that reality or not?
And one person may say, yes, it's absolutely gorgeous, right,
and another person say, when I went out, yeah, it's
so gorgeous. I wanted to swim out and touch it.
And it became the worst nightmare of their life.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
So they could.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Drown the currents and they realized that it was just
an illusion. There is no truth. So questioning everything like
you just started with, I scided, why did I ask
myself these things? Why did I act like this? And
so this starts with.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
The question of why I wonder if Sometimes with that
kind of mentality where you're constantly questioning yourself. There can
be this weird thin line between where it becomes a
little bit obsessive and a little bit like is this real?

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Is this not? Should I be believing this? Should I not?

Speaker 3 (09:15):
How does someone actually know what their body's telling them,
what their mind's telling them, is truth or not? Like,
how do you distinguish between the truth? Yeah, or reality
and illusion?

Speaker 4 (09:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (09:25):
That's that's a great distinction, right, because there's a difference
between questioning yourself and being inquisitive. Question. So here's the
distinction questioning yourself?

Speaker 4 (09:37):
Right?

Speaker 1 (09:37):
Is this the right choice? As opposed to.

Speaker 4 (09:40):
Why did I make that choice?

Speaker 2 (09:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (09:42):
What was the impetus? As opposed to is this wrong?

Speaker 4 (09:47):
Right?

Speaker 1 (09:47):
When you have confidence in your authenticity and you say, Okay,
I'm authentic, I'm confident, I make choices, it's all going
to work out. Even if it doesn't work out, right,
I can't do it wrong. Now, what was my driver
of that? That's the question as opposed to did I
make the right decision?

Speaker 3 (10:02):
What were some of the things that you noticed as
you've gone through this journey of obviously awakening your subconscious
or becoming aware of it. What were the biggest benefits
that you found in your own life.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
So many things happen right.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
I didn't become a stuck identity and the stock identity says,
you know, I'm a Wall Street trader. I live in
New York City. You know, I have these friends in
this life. And so as I started to realize that, oh,
my subconscious mind can change, I don't have to be
limited by that. I can have whatever I want, and
I can change my identity. I don't have to be

(10:35):
that identity all the time. And so I could be
different and that's okay. And if people see me differently
or like say, no, that's not you, then I can
be confident enough to say, is it's so true?

Speaker 4 (10:49):
You know?

Speaker 3 (10:49):
I think so many people don't change who they are
because they're worried about other people perceiving the way that
they're they've done a drastic change. I remember, even for
me when I were I always used to think when
I got into my spiritual practices and when I really
changed the way that I was living, the first thoughts
I had was God, I met the people I went
to high school with must be high school with must

(11:11):
be laughing at this, or they must be thinking, oh,
she's can't be like this, or she must be faking it,
or how did she turn from this person to this person?
And so much of I wanted to hide so much
of what I was changing because I was worried that
I was going to be seen as someone who wasn't
actually living it, or wasn't actually that is impossible for
this person to have changed.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
I would love to hear.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Your journey that you went on, and you know, you
mentioned Wall Street, and I would love to hear how
you went from being on Wall Street or maybe even
before that, and what brought you to this path and
this journey.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
One thing I will say before you say that is
the one thing that I hear from most people that
are trying to change their career is that they're afraid that.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
You know, people are going to say, who are you
to do that?

Speaker 3 (11:52):
Right?

Speaker 4 (11:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Exactly.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
Coaches are spiritual people like who are you? What are you?
You know? You the Buddha?

Speaker 2 (11:58):
Exactly?

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, the bodies once you get over that, you know,
it's kind of the idea of surrender and radical acceptance.
Once you get over there the mel Robbins let them
of it all.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Yes, yeah, then you can do it.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
But with me, it started I was a Wall Street
I was on Wall Street as a trader on the
floor of the American Stock Ischine, and that was a
really tough job, but that was kind of like the
identity that I wanted. I wanted to be like this
one trader, Yeah Street exactly. And then I just realized

(12:31):
it wasn't for me. But I stuck with it longer
than I should have because my family thought that that
was a great job and it was just like so
I stuck with it. But then I realized, you know,
I can make a change that wasn't for me, and
I went to work for a company that I was
trading and they were a health driven company. I remember
going from the wall the floor of the stock exchange,

(12:52):
which all guys very masculine, very macho like yelling and screaming,
to being in like a loft and soho and like
bean bag chairs and people taking breaks from naps have fun.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
That was like a great environment.

Speaker 4 (13:06):
It was the best.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
But I also thought it was kind of weak or
wimpy at the time, and then I realized that was
you know, you don't have to be in pain to
be successful.

Speaker 4 (13:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
During this time, I had a health issue and which
was progressing really rapidly, which was from an undiagnosed.

Speaker 4 (13:28):
Tumor on my spinal cord.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
And so it was a lesion, So we didn't know
what the cause of it was. I just knew that
I was getting sick and more paralyzed by the day,
and so I was trying to ignore that and all
the symptoms because I couldn't deal with.

Speaker 4 (13:42):
The pain of it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Oddly enough, it drove me to work for more and
more health companies to help, you know, build companies like
web and d and Everyday Health and Remedy health media
and yeah.

Speaker 4 (13:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
And it wasn't until I really started to focus on
myself and tell this story and I'm telling you now
that I actually got some acceptance and I could become
my authentic self. And when that happened, then I started
to take care of myself more and get better.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
How has that change in mindset helped you through any
pain that you've had in your life physically or you know?
The change in you obviously went through the whole process
of removing the tumor.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
I assume or no, it was that it couldn't It
was on my spinal cords, so it couldn't be removed,
so I walk with a limp now.

Speaker 4 (14:31):
So it's just it is. But there was a lot
of pain that went with it, of course.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Like extreme pain, yeah, physical pain. And that's gone now
really Yeah.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
And the only way.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
That I can understand that it's gone is because I've
released the emotion of it. I've released the I've accepted it.
It's no longer I'm no longer a victim of it. Yeah,
And instead it's life is not happening to me anymore.
It's happening as me through me.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
It's actually so beautiful or to think that, I know,
you talk about how everything ends.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
Up being an illusion, like most of the things that
we experience in life is an illusion. And what I
took from it was you have the ability to change
your reality. Like everything that's happening to you or around you,
you actually have the ability to shift it, to change it,
to receive it differently.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yes, could you share I'm.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
Sure you've had lots of clients you know, that have
come to you for things like this. Could you share
some everyday illusions you're seeing that people get stuck in
or have the belief of on a daily basis, that
that stunts them.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, here's a couple very I calm, transactional. Everything is
based in fear. Yeah, everything is fear. Everything that we
do in life is either overcoming fear in some way,
Fear that we're not good enough, not capable enough, fear
that you know, we're not going to have what we want,
that we're not going to be more of of it.
It's just based on our primal drive is fear. So

(15:55):
everything that you do and that you're not axed, you
say what am I afraid of? And when you answer
the question, what am I afraid of? And then what
would I do if I wasn't afraid?

Speaker 4 (16:05):
Then you figured it out. So most of it's around.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
I get a lot of people that say I'm stuck,
and I was like, are you stuck? Or really, I
think there's something different. Perhaps you're not stuck at all.
Perhaps you're just afraid. So changing the word from I'm
stuck to I'm afraid and then what because I'm stuck
is ambiguous, right, you don't know how to change it? Yeah,
I'm afraid. It's like, oh, I can change fear. Let's

(16:30):
see what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of taking the
step to get a divorced I'm afraid of taking the
step to make a commitment to this step, to go
in front of an audience and be the coach that
I want to be. So there's transactional fears.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
The transactional fears are all to do with I call.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
Them transactional which are like fear of flying, fear of snakes,
fear spiders, those kind of things.

Speaker 4 (16:52):
Yes, and I can remove those rapidly. And so there's
a woman.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
I just at my last workshop. She was afraid of snakes. Yeah,
and so we had to get to the real point
of it, like why are you afraid? What's the who
cares if you're afraid of snakes? Don't go near snakes?

Speaker 4 (17:09):
Right?

Speaker 1 (17:10):
And so the issue was that she was fearful, that
she was weak in front of her husband and her
son because they like to go hiking and she couldn't
go right. And then she was fearful because her grandmother
the program put in a fear of snakes when she
was a child. So we went into hypnosis and within
five minutes she was no longer a fear of afraid.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Of snakes, no way.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
And in fact, that weekend she went on three large
long hikes and now she's reporting that, you know she can.
She's hiking with her son and zero fear.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
That's amazing.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Yeah, something that could have yeh, something that was taking
away closely time with people that she wanted to spend
time with. Yeah, it no longer affected her.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
You don't hear another one?

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, I would love to.

Speaker 4 (17:52):
Jack Osborne, Osborne's son.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yeah. He and sorry Jack, if you listen to this,
I'm telling your stuff. But it was on his podcast.
So he's afraid of spiders, okay, and it kind of
went back. We found out the program in his childhood
that made him afraid of spiders, and we went in
and within five minutes kind of changed that. And I said,
you know, how are you feeling about spiders now? And

(18:14):
it's like they just you know, I feel like laughing
because we put in joy and we put in laughter
instead of fear around these spiders.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
Well, tell me more about hypnotherapy because obviously it's such
a powerful tool. You're able to help these phobias or
these fears within five minutes using this practice. For people
who think hypnotherapy is like woo woo, and so you know,
not real, could you because you know a lot of
the time people are watching it through through social media.
They're watching people have, you know, having hypnotherapy sessions online

(18:42):
where they're not actually experiencing it. Could you explain how
hypnotherapy works and kind of take away the myth of
it being like like a magical thing, you know.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
I mean, I think it is magical too, Yeah, but
for all the skeptics out there.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yeah, So hypnotherapy gets to the greater thing.

Speaker 4 (19:00):
Those are the transactional.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
So with hypnotherapy you can go from the transactional of
I want to remove that fear to a broader, bigger,
life changing identity change, which is I'm good enough, right,
I don't have to be afraid of not being good enough.
I can be my authentic self because it's enough, and
therefore we can get to what we want most, which

(19:23):
is love.

Speaker 4 (19:24):
And so through.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
Hypnotherapy, it's mostly talk, right, We talk. When I do
a session with clients or my groups or anything like that,
they're hours long and we only go into hypnosis for
like the last twenty minutes. So it's allowing the conscious
mind to tell your subconscious mind. Because we can direct
our subconscious mind, it's like it's just there to take orders.

(19:47):
Whatever we ask it to do, it will find out
how to do it. So it's allowing us to get
into a state we call it the alpha theta bridge
into a theta state so that we can make changes
to the program. And it's not like the here's the
myth that like you're unconscious, that it's mind conreuer.

Speaker 4 (20:05):
Yes, yes, that you'll act.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Like a chicken up on stage, which you can be,
but that's not therapeutic in any way. You actually want
to be in a place where you are aware of
what's going on. So it feels as though you're kind
of just in a really relaxed state. And it's it
is not mind control. It's yeah, maybe it is my control.
It's a little minctrol. It's allowing you to control your
own mind.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
And I feel like, I imagine when you're you're saying you're
in a relaxed state, which essentially means like I think
about when you're even getting injection or something, and they're like,
you need to relax your hand to allow the needle
to like even get into your body. For it to work,
you need to relax your hand. So imagine the subconscious mind.
When you were saying that I was imagining that if

(20:50):
you're in a tech because I was going to ask
what type of people have you noticed it doesn't work on?

Speaker 2 (20:54):
And in my mind, I thought, maybe they're.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
The people who are really like they're blocking, they're blocking
the they're protecting, They're trying to create a barrier around
their subconscious mind to not allow someone to enter.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Exactly right, right, Yeah, we're so powerful. Yeah that if
you don't want it to work, it won't work.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
So with mental health and with you know a lot
of the mental health disorders, do you think something like
hypnotherapy is a useful tool in that, whether it's OCD
or whether it's deep anxiety.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
I think there is so many different tools that help people,
but I think a lot of the traditional therapy just
focuses like rehashing the past. Yes, and as you read,
that's why people are in therapy for ten years and
keeping and they don't really see much change in their life.

Speaker 4 (21:43):
Right, It's time to stop rehashing the past.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
I was just about to ask you whether you think
it's possible to train your subconscious mind or change it
without having to do years of therapy.

Speaker 4 (21:53):
Yes, yes, and I'm seeing it.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
I mean I'm able to do that. I was able
to do it myself and able to do with my clients.
I mean the most powerful people like Joe Dispenser and
Tony Robbins who are kind of like have you know,
partially my teachers. They they can do that really powerfully,
so that you don't have to dwell on the past.
It's over, it's done. Looking in the rear mirror is important,

(22:18):
but driving in it and it is really bad.

Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
Whenever I watch Joe Dispenser's stuff and I hear people's feedback,
it's amazing how much physical pain is held in the
body just through what you're holding in your mind, Like
the amount of physical pain that is manifesting in someone's
body but is actually linked to their fears, their anger,
their emotions that are actually being held in their heart

(22:41):
or in their mind.

Speaker 4 (22:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
I released all my pain just by releasing those things.

Speaker 4 (22:46):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
And you mentioned the Buddha.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
You mentioned that you've been studying Buddhism. What were some
of the most beautiful kind of ideas or principles that
you learned when you were studying different philosophies.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
I've and even in high school, I went to like
a Jesuit high school. Yeah, we had theology classes of
different religion and beliefs really interest me, but Judaism and
Buddhism interests me the most.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
There's a lot of crossover there.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
But this idea of living in some sorrow, this suffering
of life, and like what does it all mean?

Speaker 4 (23:22):
And well how do we get out of it?

Speaker 1 (23:23):
Is the biggest thing for me because it's all all
in our mind. Yeah, and once we can go within
and relieve the suffering, the some sorrow of our mind,
like these thoughts that are creating the beginning and end
of all suffering? Is that was so transformational for me?

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Was there daily practice at all?

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Do you have daily practices that you do to help
with maintaining this mindset well that people can incorporate into
their day to day life.

Speaker 4 (23:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
It started I guess twenty years ago.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
I went to.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
My first Buddhism class and we went in and we
did the Metabhavna like this loving kindness?

Speaker 4 (24:03):
Did say that?

Speaker 2 (24:04):
No? Say that again?

Speaker 4 (24:05):
Is how did I say the mena Bhavna? The Meta?

Speaker 2 (24:09):
I haven't heard of that?

Speaker 4 (24:10):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, the loving it's it's the meditation on loving kindness mon.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
Above no, maybe mone like mon Abovena. Yeah, yeah, maybe,
I'm sure you know, I'm sure you're right. I was
just trying to make sense of the words from what
you mentioned. Money means mind and bavna means love. So yeah, okay, wonderful.

Speaker 4 (24:28):
Likely I got that pronunciation.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
So that changed my That one meditation really changed my life.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
And what does it take you through? What does it do?

Speaker 1 (24:36):
It takes you through this visualization of sending white light
love from your body to your child self, to friends
and acquaintances, to.

Speaker 4 (24:47):
Strangers, to enemies.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
And then to the universe and world itself.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Oh wow, beautiful.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
I think Jay actually did that in one of his
shows where he was going taking people through that practice
and remember feeling this like incredible energy of everybody doing
it at once, all in one room, and it is
so powerful, like it's such a beautiful practice. I didn't
realize that it was a common meditation.

Speaker 4 (25:10):
That's yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yeah, So I did that for years and it changed
my life. That was one of my practices.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
And that's something you could do every day yourself.

Speaker 4 (25:17):
Do every day, do every day this?

Speaker 3 (25:19):
And what are you saying in your mind when you're
in this practice? So you're sending love to different parts
of you, your body, and then you know, emanating out
into the world. Is there anything that someone should be
repeating in their mind as they're doing it.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
I don't think that you need to repeat anything in
your mind. I think it's and you don't have to
steal your mind. One of the things that I say
a lot of my meditations visualizations is that your mind
may wander or wander, but you'll still listen to every word. Yeah,
because whether you're thinking, mind is thinking. It's a little
bit different than the meditations of just letting it go. Yes,
they come in and let it go. This is allow

(25:53):
your mind to visualize that that energy, that beauty, that love,
because it amplifies your own energy.

Speaker 3 (25:59):
Yes, okay, so doing this meditation practice mon above not
And then is there anything else that you recommend?

Speaker 1 (26:05):
I recommend of the things that I do that I
recommend really visualizations. Most of it's visualization of what you
really want. So a lot of people have trouble with
that because they visualize being happy or whatever it is, or.

Speaker 4 (26:21):
The money that they want. But what is it that
you really want?

Speaker 1 (26:24):
So I'll ask people a lot what do you want?
They really don't know.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah, I was going to say, it's hard sometimes people,
it's really difficult to know what is it that I
actually want?

Speaker 4 (26:33):
What do I want?

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Is it based on what other people want for me?

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Is it based on what I've seen other people being
happy doing?

Speaker 2 (26:40):
How do I figure that out? What is it that
I want?

Speaker 1 (26:42):
So the exploration that's part of it. Every day, it's like,
why do I really want? Let's start small? Why do
I want for today? Okay, that's not coming. Let's get
very specific. So the universe, this illusion that we're in,
we can create anything that we want unlimited. The potential
is unlimited as soon as we figure out what we want.
So let's start eliminating. What don't I want. I don't

(27:02):
want to be overthinking today. I don't want to be,
you know, upset. I don't want to be angry with
my spouse and my partner. Now, what do I want?
Let's think of something that I really want to find.
I want to find a yellow butterfly. Okay, so how
do I just start small with that. I'm going to
write it down on a piece of paper. I'm going
to tell my subconscious mind that I want.

Speaker 4 (27:23):
To see it.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
I'm going to go to bed, and I'm going to
sink it in the data state that I'm going to
see a yellow butterfly. I guarantee a yell butterfly. It's
going to show up in some way, form or shape.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
I love that you said start with even today, like
what do I want today? Because I think, like you said,
most of us will say, I just want to be happy,
I want to feel I don't want to feel sad
or I you know, we think about these big emotions
and we generalize that feeling into like I just want
to be happy. But then if you're someone, well what
is it that makes you happy? They may not even

(27:54):
know what it is that makes them happy?

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Like how?

Speaker 3 (27:56):
And so to figure that out? Even if it starts
with that my crow, okay, today, what would make me happy?
If I visualize my whole day, what is it going
through my day that would make me happy? Okay, smiling
at someone and receiving a smile back that would make.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
One hundred percent? Start small like, yeah, well, the smallest
things are the best things. It's the ultimate currency, right,
It's the smallest thing. So we start to say, okay,
now I can't even cultivate that. I'm so you know,
I'm in a state where I can't even cultivate that.
So we start with gratitude, right, So what's the one

(28:30):
thing that I can be grateful for today? And even
if that feels mundane or it's not resonating, your subconscious
mind knows that it's safe, because ingratitude is safety.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
Yes, definitely, I think people get really tired of hearing this,
the grastude, grastud gratude, because it's, you know, such an
overused word. But actually, even if I think it's better
that something positive is overused, then all the other negative
things that could be piercing through our mind through social media,
through everywhere else. So actually, even though this gratitude I

(29:02):
feel like we hear it all the time, it is
actually such like it is one of the deepest words
that we need to have in the front, nor even
on the back of our mind, in the front of
our mind every single day, every single moment to be
able to transform it into something that you know, to
be able to transform a part of your day that
feels either blah or negative or unexpected into something that

(29:23):
can feel brilliant in your life. And so, yes, it
might be an overused word, but it is such a
powerful word that should be used every single day. You
should have it in your mind every single day.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
The practice of it is the most part. It's also
water seems pretty mundane, doesn't.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
It, right?

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Exactly without it you die, yes, exactly quickly.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
It's so true.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yeah, I'd prefer to have like a fruity beverage or
literally water is we think, unless you're in a country
where there is not clean water, then it is the
most powerful thing and the most mundane things, and we
overlook them because, you know, we think that it's too.

Speaker 3 (30:02):
Easy get excited about the little things. That's honestly a
big change that I made in my life. I don't
even know whether it was conscious or not, but I
think it was a conscious thing, like just to be
so excited by the things that I do every single day,
like whether it is and you know, after being in
having I travel quite a bit, but especially when I

(30:23):
go to India specifically to do with the water you
mentioned it, and for me, you know, the clean water
you get comes in plastic bottles.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
You can't drink from the taps there, And so when
I would.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Come back home, I'd be like, oh my gosh, it
tastes so good to have this water and it is
so amazing. And so every single day now when I
have a filtration system, I'm so grateful that I have
a filtered water system. I'm so grateful that when I
drink water, I don't have to think about whether it's
going to.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
Harm me or not.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
And so even in the day to day things of
what am I eating and oh my gosh, this is
We're so lucky to have this beautiful food in front
of us, or the water that we're drinking, or the
movement that you get to have in your body, like,
there's so many things every single day to live in
gratitude for that. I think it's such a if you're
waiting for the bigger moments to feel gratitude, you're not
allowing yourself to be in a state of gratitude until

(31:11):
something huge happens. Here's a sad life to be that's
like a sad life to live with that.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
But sometimes we started wearing so much pain that we
can't even trying to figure out the gratitude.

Speaker 4 (31:23):
We can't, right, we can't.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
But that's when I say do this, which is create
more pain for yourself, like going to India and not
being able to drink from the tap. That created some
sense of pain, worrying whether you were going to get
sick or not, and then when you came back, you
received it in gratitude. You ever see those guys that
put on the blindfold and go into darkness for like

(31:45):
a week. That's painful, and then all of a sudden
you take off the blindfold and the beauty of the
light and everything that you see, the people who are
weeping and so Vie beautiful.

Speaker 4 (31:54):
Yeah, So what is it? So?

Speaker 1 (31:57):
I made the mistake of reading an article about myself,
I think from some London news. Oh no, he says,
like Jim Kurtiz prescribes the most woo woo things. But
I said, if you're not grateful for your feet in
your legs and just not even recognizing how easy it
is for you to walk, try putting a stone in
your shoe, just for a couple of hours, Yeah, and
then take it out and you'll be so grateful that

(32:18):
pain is gone.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
That's so true. Yeah, And it's what I was going
to ask you.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
You know. You said, sometimes you're in so much pain
that you can't feel gratitude. As someone who's obviously been
through physical pain a lot of the time. Even if
I talk about, well, you don't have children, so you
don't know how this feels, or you don't you haven't
been through this, so you can't say that I should
feel this way. And so it's someone you know, not
that it's a blessing, but as someone who's been through
pain that can really help guide people through it. What

(32:45):
would you say to someone who is in a lot
of physical pain, Because I do think physical pain can
take us away from our spiritual practices. It can take
us away from our gratitude, It can take us away
from being able to function. And so for people who
are going through physical pain on a daily basis, whether
it's through arthritis or something a bit more serious, what
are some things that they can do, Like how do

(33:07):
you move away from that pain and into gratitude when
it feels so far away?

Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah, physical pain is the most overwhelming thing because all
of a sudden, nothing is important in it. Yeah, right,
if you've ever so, whether it's an illness or even
if you've just had back pain or you throw your
back up. Yeah, this all of a sudden, nothing else matters.
Those things like that work that you needed to do,
and like the see in that restaurant dinner that you
need to go, all of a sudden, it doesn't matter.

(33:33):
And so the biggest thing is that we start to
really get upset and angry and worried about that pain,
right right, And the first thing is what if this
lasts forever?

Speaker 2 (33:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (33:42):
And so now we're feeding and dwelling it, and all
the chemicals that we're releasing towards that is fueling the
inflammation of that pain. And so it's really hard to
do but to start to think about things that make
the pain go away. And burn victims, they often show
a lot of really funny movies and they showed that

(34:06):
burn victims that played video games felt less pain.

Speaker 4 (34:12):
Distracted from it.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
Burn victims, And I say burn victims because the studies
that were done like this is the most intense pain
that you can have. So those that were laughing at
funny movies felt less pain. And so what creates a
distraction for you into what allows you to allow the
most amount of endorphins and oxytonisin out in your body

(34:35):
so that the pain is numbed. Now, with hypnosis, people
can go undergo root canals and without any anesthetic. Wow,
So we know that our opioid receptor is the ones
that we take drugs for to help us release more
of so that we don't feel pain.

Speaker 4 (34:53):
We can release that with our mind.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
That's amazing. I didn't know that about the rook And
I'm going to try that one day. You've been talking
about knowing what you want, and I think some way
you say, we don't manifest what we want, We manifest
what we believe our identity can achieve. Yes, can you
break that down for people who are trying to manifest
something in their life right now? Like, how do you
start manifesting what you want in your life?

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Okay, So we start to think about manifesting, it's like
if I had know that million dollars anywhere like out here, now,
I'm going to visualizee and feel it all those things, right,
But we have this belief that like, yeah, yeah, I
can't have.

Speaker 4 (35:34):
You know that this is not the identity of me.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
My identity is that I'm a nine to five worker
and that I make my salary and that that's my
that's my identity. And identity has a homeostasis like everything
else in our body, ceiling and a floor if I
lose my job, I'll find another one. And the ceiling
is the million dollars that probably can't get to and
we just kind of stay in the middle. So to

(35:57):
change that, to start to have what you want is
to start to realize, and I call it realizations instead
of manifestation, is start to realize that you can become
the energy at any time, that everything that was programmed
before you can start to reprogram and that how you
do that is by telling yourself over and over and
over again what you want right and going into a

(36:18):
data state, whether it's meditation or hypnosis, and changing those beliefs.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
And I think there's one thing about continuously saying things
out loud, and I do think there's a power in
that where you say things out loud and eventually you'll
believe it. But part of me things it's a little
bit deeper than that, because you can keep using words
at the surface level of saying I want a million dollars,
I want a million dollars, I want a million dollars.
But if your deep rooted self is telling you, actually

(36:43):
you're not smart enough and you really can't get that,
you might think you can, but really is it realistic. Yeah,
and so part of me thinks and I love this
word so much. I was actually going to call my
podcast this But delusional optimism is something that I have
a deep belief in, and I think a lot of
successful people in the world have this ability to be

(37:05):
delusionally optimistic where and you kind of need that, especially
if you're changing jobs, doing something that's crazy, that's out there,
that's something that you wouldn't ever believe for yourself. You
need to start being a little bit delusional and a
little bit delusionly optimistic. And I think that's required because
you can keep telling people this is what you want,
but until you one create the belief for it, but

(37:27):
then create the actions to show that you believe it,
like how or almost living as if you already have
that in your life, almost presenting yourself as if you
already have that in your life. And there's a difference
between faking it and doing all the work to make
yourself get to that point. Like you're still you're doing
all the work that's required. It's not just believing it,

(37:49):
it's not just saying it it's okay. Now I'm actually
going to put into practice and do every single piece
of you know, the puzzle that's required for this to happen.
And I think you kind of need all three of
those things. You need to be doing the work, you
need the belief, and you need to be saying it.
I think you need a sprinkle of delusional optimism and
love that.

Speaker 4 (38:06):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
A good cry or delusional optimism, I'll take it a
good cry.

Speaker 4 (38:11):
Yeah, I think there's two other things.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
I really love that because delusional optimism means I'm good
enough to take action right. And the second part is
any time that we want to change our identity, just
start to change the way that we use the word
the two words I am.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Because I am is one.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
It hits into our belief system so powerfully. When we
say I am something that means anything. To the contrary,
we're not for right unless and anything that flows with us.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
We are for yes.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Right from the very basic like I'm a sports fan.
That means that like I love to go to games,
Like if I'm a Boston sports fan, that means like
my team has to win. That means I don't like
other teams. Or I am delusionally optimistic. Yes, that means
that I can make anything happen.

Speaker 4 (39:00):
That I'm in a good mood.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
And then of course there's a much bigger I am,
which is I had a one and ten trillion chance
of being born. I am source. I am life itself.

Speaker 4 (39:14):
I am the energy that.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
Creates all of this and everything else and illusion. So
if I am the source, then I can say I
am anything that I want to be and it will
become it.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
Yes, and I love what you said about well the
idea of I am, but then also create. Every time
you believe you are something or you want to become something,
It's almost like we wait till we feel that way
to have the proof and belief that we are, but
instead of taking action to then become it.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
Yeah, that makes sense, like we end up.

Speaker 3 (39:44):
I'm like, okay, I really want to be I don't
know why have I been wanting in my life. I'm
just thinking, Oh, yesterday I was talking to Ja, my husband,
and I was like, oh, I really I need to
go back into study mode, Like I know I really
want to do hibology and I want to like I
need to study more. I'm in this zone where I
feel like I really am seeking.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
Knowledge and I need to forget what it is.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
And I've been saying this for this whole year, by
the way I've been saying but now it's become this
thing where I've been saying it, saying it's saying it.
But then I was like, what have I done to
actually manifest and make it happen in my life? Okay,
I've been saying I want to do it, but I've
been telling myself I don't have the time. Behind the scenes,
I've been telling myself that if I start it, I'm
not going to finish it because.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
I don't have the capacity right now to do it.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
I've been telling myself all these things that actually my
want is not backed up by my belief and I
haven't created the time in my schedule or even try
to physically create space to allow it to happen in
my life. And so what I should be doing is
the other way around. Yes, I want to do this,
So now let me create the space first. Then let

(40:47):
me sign up to the course. Let me do all
the actionable things that allow me to believe in this,
that believe it's possible, rather than saying I want to
do something and just expecting it to happen.

Speaker 4 (40:59):
What action is that.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
If you leave out action from this recipe, then you
the cake doesn't rise.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
Yeah, such an action before belief.

Speaker 4 (41:06):
Yeah, well I would try this. So you want to
study more?

Speaker 2 (41:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Right, So you want to study more because you want
to become more not your.

Speaker 3 (41:15):
Yeah, I just feel like I'm at a place where
I output a lot, and for me, I feel like
I need to feed into I love studying, I love learning,
and I feel I haven't been in that phase of
my life for a while.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
Okay, And so what's the identity of someone who studies more?
There's the identity is I'm a scholar.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
I'm a scholar.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
And I think part of it, you know you're asking
the question. I think part of it is also feeling
like I have the qualifications to share the things that
I want to share.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Oh, I know, you just uncovered a limiting belief. Yeah,
Which is I need this so that I can be knowledgeable.

Speaker 4 (41:53):
Yes, or so that I can share.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
I think that's the part of it for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:58):
So there's two things.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
There's one like, I'm a scholar, which means that's an
identity because the action that you'll take as a scholar
is easily learning. And the more that you say, you know,
what are you doing in life. Well, really, you could
say I'm a student of life, I'm a scholar. And
the more that you say that, then you'll have to
be aligned with it. You'll have to take the accor

(42:19):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (42:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
The second part is undercovering the belief that why you
are a scholar. I know, is it one because you're
completely interested in want to share and let other people
grow or is it because you feel as though you're
not smart enough?

Speaker 4 (42:31):
Now?

Speaker 3 (42:32):
I think it's both, if I'm honest, I think it's
a mixture of I absolutely love all the things that
I've learned in my life that have helped me. Oh
my gosh, it makes me so happy when I get
to share it and then hear people also being impacted
by it. I think a deeper issue is I've always
felt like I'm not smart enough to be able to
share things, whether it's from the grades I got in

(42:54):
college or whatever it was, like, I've always felt like
I need to keep proving myself educationally to feel like
I'm I have the right to share what I'm sharing.
And so I think it's definitely a balance of both.
It's not more one than the other, but the second
dairy one definitely creeps in to my desire of like

(43:14):
why I want to do something.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
And then it's interesting that you're actually not taking the
action to do.

Speaker 3 (43:19):
It right now, Yeah, because I keep telling myself I
probably won't succeed at it because I'm going to like
stop doing a halfway or Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
So that removing that belief that I need to do
this to be worthy.

Speaker 4 (43:32):
Will allow you.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
To like gift, It will allow you to shift in
the sense that, like, I'm doing this because I wanted
to contribute, and so do you.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
Think for me to do that, I would have to
focus just start trying to focus on the primary of
what I was saying that I want to do it
to learn to help other people. Like is it just
shifting my focus or is it doing other work in
the background to get rid of that secondary feeling?

Speaker 1 (43:56):
No, I think it's You're already identified, right, So what
needs to shift. It's this idea of you know, I
need to have fifty credentials for anybody to listen to me.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
And the truth is you're inherently worthy.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Yes, That's all you have to do is do some
research and be able to express it so that your
worthiness lies in your ability to communicate. Right, we all
have these different superpowers. So consider that your worthiness doesn't
need to have a degree because you already have the
superpower that's incredibly unique, which is where we are right
now in your podcast. So that is your worthiness interesting.

(44:36):
And so you're comparing your worthiness to your perception of
other people's worthinesses, which is a professor that has from
Cambridge or right, And really, you have something that's completely
unique to most of the world is the ability to
express yourself to millions of people in a way that
is relatable, likable, authentic, and lovely.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
We didn't ask you to ask you that question, so
you would give me compliments. But I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
Oh now, let's look at that what in you is
resistant to receiving that compliment as if it's not true.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
I know, I appreciate it. I thank you.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
Let me ask you in a different way. This is good.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
I feel like people can So here's.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
This is a normal linguistic programming. Okay, I wonder if
you know what an impact you make in the world. Mmm,
how does that feel different from what I just said?

Speaker 2 (45:30):
I feel like a lot of what I do.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
I I wonder whether it's having I have a lot
of questioning in my mind to what I do in
terms of knowing whether it's impacting people because I don't
get to speak to people on a daily basis, and
sometimes obviously the negative takes over the positive of course.

Speaker 4 (45:51):
Of course.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
And so how would it feel if you knew that
you already could do whatever you wanted in terms that
you didn't need.

Speaker 4 (45:59):
To study anymore?

Speaker 2 (46:00):
How would I feel if that I could still impact
people without having to study, If.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
You didn't have to do another you didn't have to
go and it, or you didn't have to do any
of that. How would it feel to know that you
could impact people regardless of that?

Speaker 3 (46:10):
I think you'll feel amazing, But I still feel like
I think I would feel like I'm missing something because
I think learning is a big part of something that
feeds me and makes me happy.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
Good. And now the idea that you know that you
can learn.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Well, yes, that's something I'm working on.

Speaker 4 (46:28):
So there it is.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
Yeah, you got to the idea that I can learn, well.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
Yes, I need to believe that I am a scholar.

Speaker 4 (46:37):
Right, And that's what it is. I'm a learner.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
I'm a learner. I'm going to start saying that now
I'm a learner.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
They literally got to a point where he was like,
you need to stop studying because you've been studying for
ten years of your life. Before I even started this,
I did two degrees nutrition and dietetics. Then I did
a yoga teach training course, then I did an Ivada
Health counsel of course, and then after I was like,
I think I need to do like one more thing,
and he was like, you need to stop with this
studying now and just be okay with what you're doing.

(47:03):
And I was like, oh yeah, but now I've gotten
back on it. This has been a few years, but
it's really useful.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
Actually, thank you. It's really interesting. It's such.

Speaker 4 (47:13):
Together for another time. We'll schedule the session.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
All right, let's not make this about me.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
I could tell no, no, it's not.

Speaker 3 (47:21):
I really appreciate it. It's really useful to go down
this trial. And you really have to spend time doing it,
don't you, because there's so many things that can pop
up in the way of it too.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
Yeah. Wow, it takes expiration.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
We talked about manifestation, but I was wondering whether there's
a specific process that people should follow on a daily basis,
Like if they wanted to start manifesting every single day.
Is there like a guide that you have or something
that helps people to really understand the process, because I
think that it's a not a scientific process, but there
is something to the act of manifesting.

Speaker 4 (47:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
I think it's first identifying what you want yep, and
then telling your subconscious mind exactly what you need to
get it, and then taking action. So that looks like
is identifying what you want.

Speaker 4 (48:02):
So for me, this is.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
I want to write a new book, and I want
a new publisher, and I have this idea for the
book that I want, And so what I do is
I go in and I start to understand very specifically
what I want the book to be, what I would
like the book, what I'd like to sell the book
to them, what i'd like for the purchase price, and
then how I wanted to affect people. And so I

(48:26):
started to tell myself, I'm an author for the publisher
that I want, So I'm a best selling author for
the publisher that I want, that's really affecting and contributing
to the world in a great way. And then I
start to feel that how does that feel.

Speaker 4 (48:40):
If that's true?

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Is there any resistance, and then I go, okay, what's
the resistance? And so then I will go into self hypnosis,
which is much like meditation but allows you to go
deeper and then direct it.

Speaker 4 (48:56):
I can show you how to do that.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
And then from there, I say, what is the action
if I am this person?

Speaker 4 (49:03):
What is the action that I need to take?

Speaker 1 (49:05):
One is find an agent, find to write a proposal,
pitch it, figure out what I want to say and
help hypnosis we can get into really easily because there's
always a listener in your mind and the person listening right.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
Is a practice that we could go through. Now.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Yeah, okay, So when you close your eyes and I
just want you to observe your thoughts, and so as
you observe your thoughts, I want you to now tell
your thoughts something and just tell just either tell it
to stop thinking something or start thinking something. I just say,
start thinking about erbology. And now can you hear the

(49:47):
one that says, stop thinking about our apology? And then
you recognize the one that's listening. Okay, And so now
the one that talks that says start thinking about erbology,
you just tell it to repeat after me.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
And so.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
Tell that voice to tell the one that's listening that
it can imagine its body getting very heavy. You can
imagine your body getting very heavy. And then with each breath,
you can imagine your shoulders relaxing. And you just repeat
these things from the one that talks to the one
that listens, and then you say, you can imagine and

(50:24):
actually notice that your lower back has pressure against the
cherryer on good And then tell it that with each
breath that take, that you just relax a little bit
more as your brain sinks down, and it doesn't matter
if your mind wanders. And then with each breath you

(50:45):
can tell it that it will relax more. Then give
it a visualization. Say you're walking down a hallway. At
the end of the hallway there's a flight of stairs,
and you take steps down those stairs and it's only
eight of them, and at the end of eight steps
and be in a deep, relaxed state where you can
start to tell yourself and recognize who you are. And

(51:10):
then you count down eight deeper and deeper, seven, six,
repeating after me to the one that's listening five, four, three,
two one deep relaxation, and you say, here, down here,
we can create whatever we want.

Speaker 4 (51:30):
I am a scholar. I am a learner.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
I am good enough as I am and still can
achieve more. I am capable and worthy. I will learn
more because it is my path. I will take the
steps because it feels good when I accomplish it and

(51:58):
feel your body expand in the energy. Now visualize the
achieving a different degree and making some content around it
that people are going to benefit from. Now, with the
mind that speaks, you just start to direct yourself to

(52:19):
come back, and when you do come back that you'll
feel relaxed and positive, that you'll feel ready to take action.
And then you comp back up one, two, three, four, five,
eyes wide open and awake, and you're back.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
I really could see when you were saying walk down,
and I could visualize the steps down. It's amazing how
much you can actually visualize in your mind. Yeah, and
I could physically see. I saw all the walls, I
saw the path, I saw the going down the stairs.
Down the stairs was a bit scary and dark.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
First, Oh sorry, sorry.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
Usually I'd say, you know, it's a very well lit,
well led, beautiful staircas most beautiful stircus you've ever seen.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
No, But then when you started telling me like you're
a scholar and I was like, oh, now it feels
lighter and brighter.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Yeah, it was. That's such a beautiful thing and people
can do that themselves.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Yeah, you just have to identify the like as we start.
We listen to our thoughts all the time, and so
you can actually direct that voice to direct your listener
from your So it's basically your higher self and your
lower self. From your higher self, you can put your
lower self into a trance and then tell it whatever
you want.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
So hypnosis is a little bit more in depth because.

Speaker 4 (53:28):
I guide you.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
But with that specifically, people can practice self hypnosis and
make dramatic changes in their lives at any time.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
Well, I'm going to definitely do that.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
That felt really Yeah, it felt like I was speaking
to myself in myself.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
It was a very interesting feeling. Yeah, what is NLP, by.

Speaker 4 (53:45):
The way, lingoistic programming.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
And how is that different to hypnosis?

Speaker 1 (53:50):
So hypnosis you close your eyes, you go deep within,
and some people I categorize neural linguistic programming is almost
conversational hypnosis. So we start to talk and it's questions,
it's a lot of it is embedded, okay, and so
it's questions that embedded. For example, you have trouble receiving compliments,

(54:13):
or maybe it's on your problematas now but whatever. But
if I was to just try to get that expression
across to you, I would ask questions instead, like I
wonder if you really know if and then you want
your subconscious mind, which deals in questions. It's all it's
doing is really answering questions, right, so that it can
process and direct which belief to use, would have to

(54:38):
look for the solution of that question. So if I
asked you a question based in the positive, it would
have to find the positive solution to it.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
Right.

Speaker 1 (54:45):
If I said I wonder if you know how accomplished
you are, you'd start to say, how do I know
if I'm accomplished, and your subconscious mind would be like, well,
I do have all those degrees. I guess I am accomplished, right,
And then neuro linguistic programming also allows you to change
your emotional energy to a future state that you want.
So when I said to you before, how would it
feel if this issue is no longer an issue? And

(55:07):
you said that feels really good, and then you went
directly back, but yeah, and so what we would do,
is we would remove that butt so you don't go back,
but you felt for a second that excitement around that potential.
And when we cultivate that so that neural linguistic programming
allows us to do that without without all the resistance
of the mind. Wow.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
Yeah, questioning and inquisitive. It is being asking questions over
and over again.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Facing embedding and when and when you do that, when
you get someone gets really good at it, then it's
such dramatic results.

Speaker 3 (55:43):
And I wonder, you know, with all these therapies and
the idea of self sabotage, I think you know, do
you think that a lot of self sabotage is linked
to fear or do you think that it You know,
what's the programming that people can do to take themselves
away from these self sabotaging behaviors that they actually end
up physically manifesting to stop themselves from getting what they

(56:04):
want in their life, whether it's in relationships, whether it's
in the work that they do. How do they become
aware of that being actually self sabotage not protection.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
That's that's an awesome question. With self sabotage, there's always
a secondary gain, right, So we have to find out what.

Speaker 4 (56:23):
The gain is. Right.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
The reason why I'm sabotaging is one hundred percent of
our subconscious mind wants to protect and serve, so all
it's doing is protecting us from some perceived danger, and
it does that by fear or self sabotage. So what's
the secondary gain? If I'm self sabotaging myself every time
I fall in love in that relationship, then the secondary

(56:50):
gain could be that I get to stay alone and
that is perceived as safe, right, right, So if I
want to change, that goes back to the homeostasis. I
get to raise my level of safety and worthiness so
that when I get to someone who meets and sees
me right, I can be comfortable and allow that.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
Yes, we talked, touched on relationships, and one thing I
wanted to ask you about was, you know, I think
a lot of women. I don't know whether men do
this too, but a lot of my friends fall in
love with this idea of someone versus the reality of
who they are, and they can really convince themselves that
this person is this ideological version of who this who

(57:33):
they want them to be, versus the reality of who
they are. What's a piece of advice that you would
give to women who fall in love with the idea
of someone and ignore a lot of the kind of
red flags or the potential, the potential, yes, the potential
of someone.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Fantasy of someone when they actually when I change them
and they cherish me, I would say, mindfulness is the
antidote to them, say, really present and kind of what's
happening now, I really see and recognize someone's actions. Yes,
most of the time, we're always trying to manifest, right,

(58:11):
So we're constantly looking for the future and trying to
identify who we need to become and what we need. Yes,
But in relationship, especially love dating relationships, it's so easy
to fall in love with the idea of someone, and
I would really you know, there's a real balance between
doing that because of course you want to plan for

(58:31):
the future. Of course you want to be with a
partner where you both become better, But you have to
stay very mindful to the present because that is the
reality that's happening now.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
Yes, I guess, and this is another way of observing.
You have to be observant. You have to.

Speaker 3 (58:46):
Constantly be paying attention to really notice what's truly happening
around you rather than your mind taking you away to places. Yeah,
have you ever tried to manifest something really deeply in
your life You've really wanted something did not happen, And
what has that taught you about manifestation and also just life,
because I think people get really you know, you believe

(59:06):
that this manifestation is going to happen and it's going
to be amazing in my life, and I'm doing everything,
but it doesn't.

Speaker 4 (59:12):
Yeah, yeah a lot of times.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
Yeah, right, And we have to kind of give it
up to the attachment that it's gonna if it's meant
for us, so it will be for us, and that
when we become attached to it has to happen this
way and if not, it failed.

Speaker 4 (59:26):
But there's a lot of things that.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
I'm like, I'm going to do it, I'm going to
do it, I feel it, I'm seeing it, I'm doing it,
and it hasn't And then I see, well, what was
the benefit of that? There's always a benefit of that.
Maybe it's a redirection. Maybe that manifestation infestation didn't happen
because we needed to be redirected in a way, or
maybe the timing wasn't right.

Speaker 4 (59:45):
Yeah, you know, whatever it was.

Speaker 3 (59:48):
So there's a thin line between manifestation being a place
doing it from a place of control and doing it
from a place of trying to create in your life,
I guess, because you could always try and create and
and the creation becomes a point of control. But I
guess there's a balance between, like a beautiful dance between
manifesting but also surrendering and.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Surrendering non attachment. I have a friend that she said,
I wanted to write a New York Times bestseller, and
she wrote a book. It didn't become a New York
Times bestseller, and she said, but the New York Times
called me and they had me come into their offices.
And what I did is I brought them through a
workshop all about my book. So did I manifest a

(01:00:30):
New York Times bestseller or not?

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:00:33):
So I thought that was amazing. Yeah, the way it shows.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Up exactly, Well, thank you so much. I feel like
you've answered so many beautiful questions, and I think it's
going to be so useful for this community because they
always sending me messages about things like this, So I
feel like I've got the perfect person on for it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
But thank you so much. And I deeply appreciate you
being here.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
This is best conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Thank you, thank you,

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Host

Radhi Devlukia

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