Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
It's Kathy Schwartz, your celebrity mentor back with my fabulous
podcast producer Heather and let's get right back into some
more of these celebrity divorce headline stories.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Well, this one is this person is no stranger to
the headlines. Kate Goslin compares current drama with son Colin
to the negative energy she's faced in the past. And wow,
Kate Goslin has faced quite a bit of negativity. Obviously,
we're talking about Kate from the hit TV showback on TLC,
the Kate plus eight John and Kate plus eight.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Before that, before she got divorced.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So right now, Colin is, you know, starting to do
the press circuit for his book. But it says Kate
Goslin is adamantly in good spirits despite her ongoing estrangement
from son Colin ahead of the release of his tell
all memoir. In the comments of Kate's Tuesday TikTok upload
about life in the Wild Wild West Homestead, a social
(01:14):
media user apologized if negative energy had affected the reality
TV alum, and she responded, I am and I'm fine.
This is honestly small compared to what me and my
other kids have been through back in the day. Obviously,
Kate shares twins Maddie and Kara, who are both twenty
five and sex tuplets Colin, Joel, Aidan, Hannah, Alexis Leah
(01:39):
all twenty two with ex husband John Gosslin. Hearing their
ages first of all freaks me out because I was
a very big time watcher of John Kate plus eight
and I watched those babies be fed like sitting up
in my chairs. So the fact that the youngest are
now twenty two is crazy. So Kate was initially granted
(02:03):
primary custody of all eight children when her and John divorced,
but Colin, however, claimed that he was institutionalized by Kate
after alleged behavioral issues. Her ex John, later sought custody
of Colin, leading to the latter's estrangement with Kate. John
also received custody of Hannah, who is still in touch
(02:25):
with her mom. Colin is now ready to share his
side of his upbringing and family drama. In his debut
memoir In the Shadow of Eight, Surviving the Reality of
My Childhood, he says, my life was always broadcast millions,
but what was actually happening in my life was never shown.
In fact, much of it has much of it was
(02:47):
deliberately kept hidden, he told us Weekly last month. Kind
of rubs me the wrong way.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Kate's comments that she's basically happy what rubbed.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
She literally says, this is small compared to what me
and kids have been through. I think that she is
known in the press for kind of being a little unemotional.
Anybody who watched the show would also say that she
was criticized a lot back in the day for how
she was basically degrading of her now ex husband on
(03:20):
camera and emasculating him constantly. She's known for kind of
like running a tight ship when it comes to these kids,
and I think that you do have to take that
on when you're when there's more kids than there are parents, when.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Many kids, Yeah, yeah, got it. I had I had three,
and I ran a tight ship. So I can't hold
that against her.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
No, for sure.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
But I don't think I would be commenting if one
of my estranged children was out there making comments about me,
I wouldn't be I probably wouldn't be acknowledging it, And
if I did, I would probably just say if my sonstening,
I want to know, I want him to know that
I love him so much.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Well, that's and that's in the fairy tale book that
you read before you go to bed at night.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I just think as a parent, that's part of actually
a public parent. I don't think that. I think it
would be leading with love, and I think it would
be like trying to come to situations and listen. I'm
really interested actually to hear what this book is about,
because he has basically said in so little words that like,
(04:31):
he didn't have behavioral issues, and so I'm interested to
hear what his experience was.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
And I'm glad that he's getting to use his voice.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
But I do find it interesting that, I mean, this
is the way of Hollywood. This that show was watched
by millions. It is to be brought up in the public.
It's sad and yet I at the same time I
understand Colin doing what he's doing. He said that this
book is about truth, survival, resilience, and finding my voice
(05:04):
after years of being silenced. If my story helps even
one person feel less alone or gives them the courage
to tell their own, then every difficult page was worth writing.
Of course, Kate is denying all the accusations. I think again,
in a perfect world, she would lead with love and
Colin wouldn't feel the need. He might write his memoir
(05:27):
but maybe not feel the need to share it with everyone. Unfortunately,
that's not the way their childhood, their life has been
very public, and so in some ways I understand his
need to come forward and speak as truth, and I
think I don't think that's the end of the story.
I think more is gonna come out about this, and
(05:50):
I think Kate can only you know it says that
she's focused on her daily life for their other children.
You can't just ignore a book that talks so openly
about what Colin says his childhood was like, I think
there's going to be more to this.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I also think that it's a time for reflection and
some humility. I think you would agree with me as
a parent that there isn't really a playbook for how
to be a parent. All children are different and so
nobody gets it right one hundred percent of the time.
And so I'm sure as a parent you could look
(06:27):
back and say, Gosh, I wish I did XYZ different
with this kid or this kid. And so maybe Kate,
you take this as an opportunity to look back and say,
you know what, in that moment, I thought I was
doing the right thing, But clearly my child experienced something different.
And for that, I'm sorry, and I would like to
listen to him and hear and apologize to how I
(06:48):
could have done better. And moving forward, I hope to
be a better listener for my child and hopefully we can.
You know, but there has to be some humility, and
there has to be, you know, some acknowledg of like
I did not do everything right.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
I am a human, this.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Is my first time being a parent, this is my
first experience.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I was maybe she was feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
I mean, why would you feel overwhelmed with eight children?
I can't imagine.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
But also to give her some grace, she went from
having a partner in her household to then all of
a sudden, being the sole caretaker for these children.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
See, that is a very important thing to remember. I
think I can't even imagine. I had three children and
I had a husband who helped me raise them. I
think probably things happen that you and I. I am
a parent. I can't even imagine what her life must
have been like to my children. I've admitted mistakes, I
(07:48):
love my kids, but they know I've made mistakes raising them. Again,
when you're raising children in a very public way, not
to mention octuplets or sex on a television show. On
a television show.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
At one point she went in film Dancing with the
Stars like there was like a whole They've never had
a normal lifestyle, like these kids, they never had a
normal upbringing. Everything was under a microscope. I just think
that the outward appearance. Obviously you and I don't know
these people, but my outward appearance of watching Kate and
(08:23):
seeing her in the public eye for so many years,
is that admitting wrongdoing and taking you know, some humble
pie does not come easy to her. And I hope
that this experience will make her maybe take a step
back and reflect and acknowledge you know, hey, I thought
I was doing the right thing, but now looking back,
(08:46):
you know the same thing. Paris Hilton has been, you know,
really open with her experience. But you know that Paris
was sent away to places when she was younger that
were not good. Paris has been able to have and
you know, maintain a relationship with her parents, and she
experienced some really horrible treatment. And so when she went
(09:06):
to those institutions as a young child and teen. So
I think that do I think it's irre. You know,
their relationship cannot be repaired, these two, I don't.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I think that they can.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
But you got to meet halfway and you got to
kind of probably admit that you did some wrongdoing or that,
you know, looking back, I didn't do as much research
as I needed to, Xyz. I had so many kids,
you know, I didn't get the help I needed. And
I think Colin also needs to probably take some you know,
steps back and say, like, was my mom being malicious
(09:39):
with me? Or was she trying to do the best
that she could with the tools that she was given
at the time.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Well, let me just say you are given, and you're
wonderful to give them both so much grace, But everything
you're talking about comes from people who have done the work.
They've gone back, and I don't know off either one
of them how much work they've done. But I truly
hope that both of them, as you said, can take
(10:05):
a step back and that this memoir is as opposed
to a book that is a tell all. I hope
it is an opening for them to find a way
to repair their relationship because we're only here for so long.
And yeah, I hate to think that this is a
relationship the.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Cause I hate to think that this has impacted his
relationship with his siblings. If that's the case, that's a
real shame as well, because those are that's such a
special bond. I can't you hear about twins, but sex tuplets. Yeah,
like that's got to be, you know, a very serious bond.
So I we're all hoping for them to get on
(10:47):
track with each other again. And obviously I'd love to
have Calling come on the pod and speak to his
experience about you know, being a product of divorce and
you know all of that as well.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
I was one of seven kids product of divorce, so
he and I probably could share some stories.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yeah, well, wrapping it up, Jennifer Garner says, relying on
incredible co parent Ben Affleck freed her to film The
five Star Weekend. So Entertainment Weekly says that Jennifer Garner
(11:27):
made the decision that when she became a mom, no
film or TV work would keep her away from her
kids for too long. Her three children, Violet, Sarafina, and Samuel,
are now older and she's still sticking to that plan.
Jennifer originally turned down the five Star Weekend because filming
took place in Nova Scotia and she was not willing
(11:49):
to be that far away from her kids. Production then
moved primarily to Los Angeles, with just one month in Nantucket,
making it possible for Ben to care for their three
kids while she worked on the film. Jennifer said that
because their kids are older and Ben stepped up, she
was finally able to accept the role and didn't feel
any guilt. Jennifer also says she has no regrets about
(12:12):
slowing her career when her children were younger because she
wanted to be present for them. These two continue to
talk about each other publicly in such high regards, and
we know that when Ben has had issues when he
was with j Lo and whatnot and back and like
in the interim, him and Jen have always remained tight
(12:34):
pictures of them together, showing up to kids things together.
So I think that they're a great example of putting
the kids first.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
You took the words right out of my mouth. It
can be done. I honestly believe they set the bar
for all other couples, public couples. Hollywood couples who are
in the public eye. It can be done.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
But I want to give grace to anybody listening right
now who absolutely despises and hates their ex and doesn't
want to be in the same room with them.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I really do.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
And I say this, Kathy, because as much as my
parents really did make it work after some years, I mean,
my parents spent holidays together when my mom was passing
away and in her last stages of life, there were
numerous times where I showed up to see my mom,
you know, and my dad would be there holding her hand,
(13:33):
and I wasn't expecting that. And that's because there was
a lot of love between them. And I'm very aware
that that was not a normal situation for a lot
of people and might not be for people that are
listening right now. And I just want to say that,
in going through my own really traumatic breakup, I've had
(13:57):
so much compassion for people that go through your divorce
and have children because I can't imagine seeing my ex
again for the rest of my life. I literally can't
imagine seeing them. And I know that people listening to
this podcast have gone through serious traumatic divorces involving cheating
(14:21):
and all sorts of stuff and to show up and
put your feelings aside for your kids. I just want
to commend people that do it, because truly, we sit
here and we talk about how great it is for
Ben and Jen to do it, But I can't imagine
actually being in the situation and having to do it
(14:41):
and having to put my feelings aside for my kids.
I can't imagine seeing my ex with somebody else moving
on and having to welcome that person into my life.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Like it sounds so.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Difficult, and so for anybody listening right now, that is
like not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I think that you can get there because you love
your kids so much. I don't have children, so I
don't have something to pour into like that, so I
can't imagine it. And if I was a parent, I
would probably want to put my kids first for sure.
(15:19):
But if you're going through it and you can't see
the light at the end of the tunnel and you
didn't have divorced parents, just know that, like it will
meet in the world to your kids when they can
have those memories in those moments to look back on.
I never got to go on vacation with my parents together,
but I have memories of having dinner together. Like as
(15:44):
I got older, and even after I was like in college,
moved out, whatever, I would go to see my mom
and she would go, oh, you know who I had
dinner with the other night.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I'd say, who did she go? Your dad? He called
me up and we went and had dinner together. And
it was so.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Nice because they loved each other so much, even though
their marriage ended in such a bad way. But it'll
mean the world to your kids, anybody listening, if you're
able to get over it. But I'm just here to
say that I understand that it sounds horrific. It sounds
horrific to be friends with an next I can't imagine it.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I really can't.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
First of all, I just want to say to you,
I know you, Heather, and you have so much love
in your heart, and I think what you're saying comes
from such a place of love, and I agree with
you one hundred percent. If parents, I wish my parents
could have been more like Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
They weren't.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It was miserable, and the trickle down effect to me
and my siblings. There was some pretty horrific times. But
I do think the operative word here is love and respect.
And if you, if, if people going through it right
now can just remember that there is sun on the
(17:12):
other side, whatever that, you know, whatever metaphor you want
to use, the sun will rise again if you can,
if you can put your kids first. I think it's
very difficult for some of these couples we've talked about
today because they are so much in the public eye.
And yeah, and you know, you and I my parents
didn't have publicists. I mean, we could hide a lot
(17:32):
that didn't have to be known. But I do think
that chill you. Oh. I've always said this. You bring
those children into the world, you owe them, You owe
them to bring them up and have them feel love.
It's just that simple for me.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, do your best. Go talk smack about Go talk
smack about your ex to your friends, like that's what
they're there for, you know what I mean, Go write
it in the journal. Just don't talk about it to
your kids. I mean, were my parents perfect? And did
they say like snarky things about each other when we
were around without the of course, come on there they
(18:13):
you know, the divorce was very.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Not mutual.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I will say that, and so there was a lot
of animosity for a while. But you know, it's just
as a kid, I didn't appreciate it like I did
in these last couple of years going through my own experience,
because it really gave me a lot of perspective on
(18:40):
my dad and the kind of feelings he had when
he would show up. So it gives me a lot
of empathy for him, and I just my heart really
goes out to single parents and people going through divorce.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Because it is traumatic.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
It's really really traumatic, and it's going to be traumatic
for your kids, and it's going to impact them in
some way. I'm still finding out as an adult the
way that impact.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
We never stopped growing. But let me just say to you,
it the one gift that we can always give our children.
And I've learned this pretty late in life. Our kids
don't watch as much what we say. They watch a
whole lot closer what we do. And so if you
want your children, I firmly believe this, if you want
(19:31):
your children to go up and be loving, respectful, kind adults,
then you need to model that and you need to
model it with everyone in your life. And some people
it's easier to model with than others. But you can
teach even though the divorce may be really tough on you,
it's tough on your kids, but at least you can
(19:54):
teach them how to move forward in a positive way
and not be throwing daggers. That's what I learned as
an adult. I wish my parents had modeled it for me.
They didn't, but I've learned it as an adult.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Well, if these divorce stories in the news sound like
a cakewalk compared to your issues, are you needing some
help to get through kind of this messiness and divorce?
In chapter two, we can help Send us an email
or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in
the show notes, and make sure to follow us on socials.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in
love is the main objective.