March 7, 2026 • 17 mins
Mr. Right, our resident real-life chapter 2 guy, is answering YOUR burning questions about sex, dating, and relationships!
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Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hey, I do Part two. I'm one of your new
mentors here on the pod. I'll stay anonymous, but here's
a hint. A long time ago, I might have been
on TV looking for love, But today you can call
me mister Wright, and I'm here to answer all your
burning questions. Anything for marriage or relationships, divorce, dating, sex,
(00:38):
you name it. I'm your resident real guy here to
give you the right advice. So I guess up to
this point, the show has stirred up a lot of questions, emails,
voicemails have been coming in, So let's start answering a
question and go with a voicemail.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Hi, my name is Maggie. Then. I live in Los
Angeles and I went on a date with a guy,
me him out at a bar. You did mention that
he got out of a relationship a month and a
half ago, and I just kind of know how that goes,
because I've been in that situation before where I'm eager
after a relationship, eager to jump into something else, and
(01:15):
I'm just wondering, like, am I rebound? Am? Is this
a red flag? Should I kind of pump the brakes here?
Keep going on dates? Let me know? Okay, Thanks, all.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Right, Maggie, great question, And this obviously comes up a lot,
as you know there's gonna be a first date after
somebody gets out of a relationship. We've all been there,
and the question is, really, you know, are you missing something?
Are there red flags? And I don't think there is
so far. I mean, nothing that you said is said
a red flag. I mean, you know you're gonna date
again after a breakup or even a divorce, and who's
(01:48):
to say that you aren't the right person for him?
So I think that if you're enjoying it, I think,
if it's fun, if it's not forced, I think you
keep going with it. Maybe you know you are the
unicorn and someone that he's been looking for. So my
advice is, you know, you know, don't get pessimistic until
you need to. But if you know you're really worried
about being a rebound, I would say be cautious of that,
(02:11):
look for those signs, those red flags. But I'd be
also careful not to push it too much, because you know,
the guy might be just kind of figuring this out
and he might be having a great time and really
enjoying it. But if he feels like he's getting pressure
now something he just might have gotten out of recently
that might just push him away. So I would say,
listen to your heart, follow the signs, but don't push it.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
See where it goes.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Now, along with all these voicemails you've been getting, there's
also been some emails that have come into the show
that have some really pressing questions. So we got an
email from Hillary who's asking, I got divorced five years ago.
I've dated a lot since, been with my boyfriend for
a year, and I think I'm ready to move in together.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Does this seem too soon? How should I bring up
the topic? If he says no, then what do I do?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
All?
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
This is the billion question. It's one person is ready
for something. Is the other person ready for the same thing?
And how do you figure that out?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Now?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Moving in together I think should feel pretty natural, and
I think the circumstances can kind of lend towards that direction.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Does it seem too soon?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I mean I think that if it's right, it's right.
But if you haven't brought up the topic, I would
be very cautious about that, just to make sure that
you guys are both kind of on the same page
and something as big as moving into I don't think
should be a mystery. And you know the last part
of your question. If he says no, then what do
you do? I mean, maybe you move on if he
(03:39):
doesn't want to move in, if he doesn't want to
take the relationship to the next step. It sounds like
you're looking for something serious, So you got to make
sure that he's looking for.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
The same thing.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And if he says he's not interested, you got to
figure out why. Is it because he can't break his lease?
Is it because he's got a dog? I mean, there
might be some mitigating factors there, but I think if
you're just trying to put on, like if you're not
ready now, will you be ready in three months or
six months or not? Like, I don't know, that's a
risk that you might not be ready to take because
(04:09):
if it's a good idea in nine months, it should
be a better idea today. All right, now, we've got
another voicemail coming in with another question for the pod.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
I'm just wondering what you think kind of the golden
standard is for texting when you're first starting to date someone.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
How much is too much? How much is too little?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
How often do you want to be texting someone keeping
up with them versus seeing them in person when you're
first starting to date, and how do you think that
evolves over.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Time or do you think it's different for everybody. I'd
love to get your take now.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
This is a great question, and I think it is
different for everybody, But really it depends on your age category.
So I've got young kids and they have very specific
rules about how they text, and it's I can't decipher
it now. Me as you know a divorce dad, My
texting is very different, and I do it when it
feels right, when it feels natural. I'm not worried about
(05:04):
the certain standards of way to day or wait two
days or wait six weeks or whatever the heck's going
on right now.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I think you've got to do it feels good for you.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And if you're worried about sharing too much that isn't
getting responded to, then that might be an indication of
you know, where the two of you are in your relationship.
You know personally, you know, I want to share something
with somebody that I'm dating. I want to let them
know what's going on, and if I'm over sharing, then
that just might be a compatibility issue. But you know, again,
(05:32):
I can see how people get nervous about it because
you think to yourself, oh, I don't want to I
don't want to blast.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Them with text, And there can be that time than
you are.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I mean, let's say the other person's on a on
a trip or on a plane or whatever else, and
all of a sudden they open their phone up when
they can do it again, and there's sixteen messages. That
might be a bit overwhelming and a bit much. So,
you know, I think the natural courses that give and take.
You know, you send a message and a message comes back.
You kind of do that give and take like you
wouldn't conversation. But now it's just electronic. But I think
(06:03):
there's always if there is something that pops up into
your head, a funny photo or a meme or a
reel you want to send, I think you should be
able to do that without feeling like you're flooding them.
So the way that mister Wright here feels about it,
especially in a chapter two relationship after a divorce and
dating again, I think texting is the easiest and cleanest
and quickest way to tell somebody that you're thinking about them.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Now.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
You might have kids, you might have a busy career,
you might have all these things going on that prevent
you from going and taking twenty minutes for a phone
call or being available when a phone calls coming in.
But I can't tell you how nice it is to
see an incoming message from somebody you want to hear from,
and it can be as quick as a hello, thinking
about you whatever. So I think in this chapter, this
kind of second chapter of relationship, I think that texting
(06:47):
is a great way to stay connected without overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
So this voicemail kind of.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Brought up a lot of questions that have come up previously,
which is, you know, women complaining or questioning if they're
not getting the same text response communeication response back from
a man, and you know, I, you know, it just
begs the question. Is it because they're not interested, it's
because they're too busy? Is it because guys just generally
aren't that good at communicating? And do you guys think
(07:14):
do ladies think that it's time to bring it up
and to confront them or do you kind of try
and hope that it just gets better on its own
with more practice.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
I mean, mister right, me personally. What I think is
I would much rather know in any situation, especially in
this chapter two of my life, in any situation when
things are starting to go down the wrong path, if
the other person is feeling you know, undervalued or not
important or not you know, whatever that is, I want
to know right away. And I don't want to I
don't want to get yelled at. I want to get
(07:43):
get a confrontational tone. But it might be something as
easy as like, hey, I've noticed that some of our
communication has fallen off recently.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Is there something going on, you know, in your life.
We're kids, that's that's making it more difficult, or is
there something else going on? So I think giving an out,
give a sense of understanding instead of just kind of
an accusatory tone, because that's the worst thing about text.
Text is great. The worst thing about text is that
there is no personality. There's no inflection of tone and
(08:13):
personality behind it. So text can come over and be
read in a lot of different ways, and some you know,
sometimes you know when you respond and just say yep, ohoahit.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Why didn't they say yes, I'd love to. Why was
it so quick?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Well, it might be that they were to stop light
and just responding very quickly and didn't have time. So
I think you want to be clear on how you're feeling,
but just be careful not to be too accusatory if
there's a very good reason why it's not being you know,
quite as as fifty to fifty on that communication. Now,
in general, guys just aren't that great at communicators, So
(08:45):
don't hold that against us. We're trying, we're learning. You know,
texting is tough, but I wouldn't let that worry you
too much. And I think that the real measurement should
be So if you're starting off in a relationship and
the communication is very often, if it's you know, ten
times a day or whatever, but then over time that
subsides and all of a sudden they're missing a day
or missing two days or even you know, whatever, that
(09:06):
interruption in communication is without a real good reason, that's
the time to start to get worried. Now, if the
relationship starts off and it's only a text a day
or a call a day, and that stays consistent, then
don't get worried about that. That's just their communication style.
But if you see it like it starts to get
more distracted. If it starts to get more infrequent, there
(09:27):
might be something else or someone else going on there.
All right, we got another email coming in from Maria
and she writes, I saw a TikTok where someone said
when men meet women, they immediately put them into one
of three boxes. Either wants to date her, he wants
to sleep with her, or he wants nothing to do
with her.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Is this true? All right?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Well, mister Wright says that pretty much starts off with
two categories, and guys are just visceral, weird, chrome magnet creatures,
and there's either an immediate attraction that says they' put
into the box number one where they want to you know,
sleep with her, or box number two where they don't
want to sleep with there I know about nothing to
(10:08):
do with her. The dating part of it, I think
develops over time. So there's you know, guys have this
instant attraction. There's just a type usually that someone meets,
especially if it's at a bar or if it's at
a party or something like that. And yeah, there's immediate
feelings I think that pop up that are really just chemical.
Now over time that develops into whether they want to
(10:29):
make that a date type of a relationship or goes
over you over more time. Now that's I want to
bring up something really important, which I think is the
difference between meeting at a bar, meeting it somewhere just
you know, random a concert or whatever, or meeting through
a friend or meeting at work or meeting somewhere that
you will see this person over and over again and
(10:50):
in different sort of situations, you know, different different kind
of components, different people around, And I think that those
relationships are a little bit more difficult to start to
put it into a box because it's not an immediate thing,
it's kind of an overtime thing. But I do think
that that guys are definitely responsible for being a little
(11:12):
bit too quick to judge simply on you know, first impression,
and so you know, oftentimes that first impression can you know, yeah,
maybe it works, but oftentimes that probably leads to disappointment
for both sides. So I think that this email is
really asking can men and women be friends? And I
think definitely when I was younger, that was probably harder
(11:35):
to come by because you know, you're you're kind of
out chasing girls and you know you're not looking for
kind of that solid female friendship relationship. But I found
as I've gotten older, some of my dearest closest friends
are women, and so I think that does change. So
you know, on the on the part too, on the
on the second chapter of life and dating, I think
(11:57):
that that guys will find themselves surrounded by more more
women friends and they become such valuable sounding boards, especially
when you're going through a transition of a divorce or
into a new relationship. I think that women friends can
be so much more valuable in offering advice and counsel
and so yeah, I think that over time, I think,
(12:19):
you know, female friends for me have gotten that much
more valuable and important in my life. All right, looks
like we have another voicemail coming into the pod.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
My name is Pina, and I have a question. So
I was at CVS yesterday in the Valley of Los
Angeles and they have sex toys on sale next to
the condoms, which I thought was pretty progressive.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
But my question is.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
This, how do you get your husband or partner to
buy one for you if you would like that as
a kiss? And I guess the question is how do
you really introduce sex tooice into a relationship when you
are embarrassed to do it right.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That's a question.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
This is a great question, and this is an easy
one for me.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I promise you there isn't a boyfriend or a husband
that wouldn't be curious, interested, excited and thralled over the
moon to find out that their partner is interested in
spicing things up, changing things up in the bedroom, especially
if you've been together for a long time.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So if I were you, I would go back to
that CVS.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
I'd find the aisle with the first you know, the
sale items there, and I would go and maybe try
a couple, and I would be incredibly surprised, and I'd
be willing to refund. Mister Wright's going to refund your
purchase of one of those items if if it isn't
met with the biggest smile and excitement you could possibly imagine.
(14:05):
But I'll tell you this right now that if you're
waiting for your partner to go and take that step,
you might be waiting a long time because it's kind
of an awkward thing because you don't quite know what's
going to be appropriate, what's going to be you know,
maybe too much, and if it's just going to go
and upset the woman too much.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
So I would wait.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
For a you know, a vacation, a special occasion, something
like that.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I would buy it yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Whatever you feel is comfortable, whatever you think is you know, appropriate,
But do it. You'll find something that you're that you're
comfortable with. And uh, and don't wait on him, do
it yourself, quite literally, do it yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
All right.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
We've got an email coming in from Natalie and she writes,
I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever been
in Leaf that's said, I'm now in my late forties
and have never been married. And I think it's because
of my trust issues. What fred flags am I overlooking
that I should be more aware of what I'm getting
to know a guy? Well, Natalie, I gotta say, there's
(15:06):
an old adage that says, you know, fool me once,
shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool
me five times. And there might be something major that's
going on here that that you're not seeing. And maybe
they don't realize that you guys are even dating because
being cheated on just doesn't seem right. And and you know,
I think that the red flags should be very obvious.
(15:31):
You know, are they are they taking you out to
public places or they only doing secretly dark places on
Tuesday nights. Have you met their friends? Have you met
their family? If not, you know, why not do they
not have friends? Do not have family? Because I think
at some point you should start, you know, being more
involved in their life, not just romantically, but just kind
of socially as well. You know, there's other things like
(15:51):
are they, you know, sneaky with their phone? Are they
not sharing passwords? Are they you know, hiding things from you?
And I think that a lot of times, unfortunately, men
and women both get so enthralled in a relationship they're
almost willing to overlook these things because they don't want
to be right that the person might be cheating or
might be straying off because you wanted to work so badly,
(16:13):
we're willing to overlook those little things. But too many
of those little things all compiled, you might have a
problem there. And so, you know, the obvious red flags
like we just listed, But then within your own relationship,
you just got to kind of feel it is this
not feeling like it's progressing in a relationship from the
first date to the second date, there should be progress.
(16:34):
From the second date to the fifth date, there should
be progress. And whenever that gets too kind of static
and doesn't move, probably start thinking that there might.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Be something else going on.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
And if I was speaking directly to Natalie, that's so damaging.
And you want to make sure you're getting the right
sort of help, therapy, guidance, counseling to make sure that
you know that you are a looking for the right guy,
you're not just putting yourself in a situation, but b
that you're not taking that hurt and putting it on
(17:05):
to the next guy that comes along. He didn't do
anything wrong, so make sure that you're not taking your
previous experience and compounding that by making it worse with
the next person that you date, because that's, you know,
that's a burden that he'll never be able to get over,
you know, paying the price and consequence or something he
didn't even do. So make sure that you're you know,
(17:25):
getting counseling, advice direction that make sure that you're in
a good headspace, and also make sure you're not putting
that on somebody else. Now, I got to say, we
did not expect this influx of questions and comments, So
mister Wright's gonna have to take a break here, and
we're gonna have to continue this on the next episode
answering all of these questions. Look forward to getting to
(17:47):
all of the dirty details.
Hey, I do Part two. I'm one of your new
mentors here on the pod. I'll stay anonymous, but here's
a hint. A long time ago, I might have been
on TV looking for love, But today you can call
me mister Wright, and I'm here to answer all your
burning questions. Anything for marriage or relationships, divorce, dating, sex,
(00:38):
you name it. I'm your resident real guy here to
give you the right advice. So I guess up to
this point, the show has stirred up a lot of questions, emails,
voicemails have been coming in, So let's start answering a
question and go with a voicemail.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Hi, my name is Maggie. Then. I live in Los
Angeles and I went on a date with a guy,
me him out at a bar. You did mention that
he got out of a relationship a month and a
half ago, and I just kind of know how that goes,
because I've been in that situation before where I'm eager
after a relationship, eager to jump into something else, and
(01:15):
I'm just wondering, like, am I rebound? Am? Is this
a red flag? Should I kind of pump the brakes here?
Keep going on dates? Let me know? Okay, Thanks, all.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Right, Maggie, great question, And this obviously comes up a lot,
as you know there's gonna be a first date after
somebody gets out of a relationship. We've all been there,
and the question is, really, you know, are you missing something?
Are there red flags? And I don't think there is
so far. I mean, nothing that you said is said
a red flag. I mean, you know you're gonna date
again after a breakup or even a divorce, and who's
(01:48):
to say that you aren't the right person for him?
So I think that if you're enjoying it, I think,
if it's fun, if it's not forced, I think you
keep going with it. Maybe you know you are the
unicorn and someone that he's been looking for. So my
advice is, you know, you know, don't get pessimistic until
you need to. But if you know you're really worried
about being a rebound, I would say be cautious of that,
(02:11):
look for those signs, those red flags. But I'd be
also careful not to push it too much, because you know,
the guy might be just kind of figuring this out
and he might be having a great time and really
enjoying it. But if he feels like he's getting pressure
now something he just might have gotten out of recently
that might just push him away. So I would say,
listen to your heart, follow the signs, but don't push it.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
See where it goes.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Now, along with all these voicemails you've been getting, there's
also been some emails that have come into the show
that have some really pressing questions. So we got an
email from Hillary who's asking, I got divorced five years ago.
I've dated a lot since, been with my boyfriend for
a year, and I think I'm ready to move in together.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Does this seem too soon? How should I bring up
the topic? If he says no, then what do I do?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
All?
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
This is the billion question. It's one person is ready
for something. Is the other person ready for the same thing?
And how do you figure that out?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Now?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Moving in together I think should feel pretty natural, and
I think the circumstances can kind of lend towards that direction.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Does it seem too soon?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I mean I think that if it's right, it's right.
But if you haven't brought up the topic, I would
be very cautious about that, just to make sure that
you guys are both kind of on the same page
and something as big as moving into I don't think
should be a mystery. And you know the last part
of your question. If he says no, then what do
you do? I mean, maybe you move on if he
(03:39):
doesn't want to move in, if he doesn't want to
take the relationship to the next step. It sounds like
you're looking for something serious, So you got to make
sure that he's looking for.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
The same thing.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And if he says he's not interested, you got to
figure out why. Is it because he can't break his lease?
Is it because he's got a dog? I mean, there
might be some mitigating factors there, but I think if
you're just trying to put on, like if you're not
ready now, will you be ready in three months or
six months or not? Like, I don't know, that's a
risk that you might not be ready to take because
(04:09):
if it's a good idea in nine months, it should
be a better idea today. All right, now, we've got
another voicemail coming in with another question for the pod.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
I'm just wondering what you think kind of the golden
standard is for texting when you're first starting to date someone.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
How much is too much? How much is too little?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
How often do you want to be texting someone keeping
up with them versus seeing them in person when you're
first starting to date, and how do you think that
evolves over.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Time or do you think it's different for everybody. I'd
love to get your take now.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
This is a great question, and I think it is
different for everybody, But really it depends on your age category.
So I've got young kids and they have very specific
rules about how they text, and it's I can't decipher
it now. Me as you know a divorce dad, My
texting is very different, and I do it when it
feels right, when it feels natural. I'm not worried about
(05:04):
the certain standards of way to day or wait two
days or wait six weeks or whatever the heck's going
on right now.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I think you've got to do it feels good for you.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And if you're worried about sharing too much that isn't
getting responded to, then that might be an indication of
you know, where the two of you are in your relationship.
You know personally, you know, I want to share something
with somebody that I'm dating. I want to let them
know what's going on, and if I'm over sharing, then
that just might be a compatibility issue. But you know, again,
(05:32):
I can see how people get nervous about it because
you think to yourself, oh, I don't want to I
don't want to blast.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Them with text, And there can be that time than
you are.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I mean, let's say the other person's on a on
a trip or on a plane or whatever else, and
all of a sudden they open their phone up when
they can do it again, and there's sixteen messages. That
might be a bit overwhelming and a bit much. So,
you know, I think the natural courses that give and take.
You know, you send a message and a message comes back.
You kind of do that give and take like you
wouldn't conversation. But now it's just electronic. But I think
(06:03):
there's always if there is something that pops up into
your head, a funny photo or a meme or a
reel you want to send, I think you should be
able to do that without feeling like you're flooding them.
So the way that mister Wright here feels about it,
especially in a chapter two relationship after a divorce and
dating again, I think texting is the easiest and cleanest
and quickest way to tell somebody that you're thinking about them.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Now.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
You might have kids, you might have a busy career,
you might have all these things going on that prevent
you from going and taking twenty minutes for a phone
call or being available when a phone calls coming in.
But I can't tell you how nice it is to
see an incoming message from somebody you want to hear from,
and it can be as quick as a hello, thinking
about you whatever. So I think in this chapter, this
kind of second chapter of relationship, I think that texting
(06:47):
is a great way to stay connected without overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
So this voicemail kind of.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Brought up a lot of questions that have come up previously,
which is, you know, women complaining or questioning if they're
not getting the same text response communeication response back from
a man, and you know, I, you know, it just
begs the question. Is it because they're not interested, it's
because they're too busy? Is it because guys just generally
aren't that good at communicating? And do you guys think
(07:14):
do ladies think that it's time to bring it up
and to confront them or do you kind of try
and hope that it just gets better on its own
with more practice.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
I mean, mister right, me personally. What I think is
I would much rather know in any situation, especially in
this chapter two of my life, in any situation when
things are starting to go down the wrong path, if
the other person is feeling you know, undervalued or not
important or not you know, whatever that is, I want
to know right away. And I don't want to I
don't want to get yelled at. I want to get
(07:43):
get a confrontational tone. But it might be something as
easy as like, hey, I've noticed that some of our
communication has fallen off recently.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Is there something going on, you know, in your life.
We're kids, that's that's making it more difficult, or is
there something else going on? So I think giving an out,
give a sense of understanding instead of just kind of
an accusatory tone, because that's the worst thing about text.
Text is great. The worst thing about text is that
there is no personality. There's no inflection of tone and
(08:13):
personality behind it. So text can come over and be
read in a lot of different ways, and some you know,
sometimes you know when you respond and just say yep, ohoahit.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Why didn't they say yes, I'd love to. Why was
it so quick?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Well, it might be that they were to stop light
and just responding very quickly and didn't have time. So
I think you want to be clear on how you're feeling,
but just be careful not to be too accusatory if
there's a very good reason why it's not being you know,
quite as as fifty to fifty on that communication. Now,
in general, guys just aren't that great at communicators, So
(08:45):
don't hold that against us. We're trying, we're learning. You know,
texting is tough, but I wouldn't let that worry you
too much. And I think that the real measurement should
be So if you're starting off in a relationship and
the communication is very often, if it's you know, ten
times a day or whatever, but then over time that
subsides and all of a sudden they're missing a day
or missing two days or even you know, whatever, that
(09:06):
interruption in communication is without a real good reason, that's
the time to start to get worried. Now, if the
relationship starts off and it's only a text a day
or a call a day, and that stays consistent, then
don't get worried about that. That's just their communication style.
But if you see it like it starts to get
more distracted. If it starts to get more infrequent, there
(09:27):
might be something else or someone else going on there.
All right, we got another email coming in from Maria
and she writes, I saw a TikTok where someone said
when men meet women, they immediately put them into one
of three boxes. Either wants to date her, he wants
to sleep with her, or he wants nothing to do
with her.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Is this true? All right?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Well, mister Wright says that pretty much starts off with
two categories, and guys are just visceral, weird, chrome magnet creatures,
and there's either an immediate attraction that says they' put
into the box number one where they want to you know,
sleep with her, or box number two where they don't
want to sleep with there I know about nothing to
(10:08):
do with her. The dating part of it, I think
develops over time. So there's you know, guys have this
instant attraction. There's just a type usually that someone meets,
especially if it's at a bar or if it's at
a party or something like that. And yeah, there's immediate
feelings I think that pop up that are really just chemical.
Now over time that develops into whether they want to
(10:29):
make that a date type of a relationship or goes
over you over more time. Now that's I want to
bring up something really important, which I think is the
difference between meeting at a bar, meeting it somewhere just
you know, random a concert or whatever, or meeting through
a friend or meeting at work or meeting somewhere that
you will see this person over and over again and
(10:50):
in different sort of situations, you know, different different kind
of components, different people around, And I think that those
relationships are a little bit more difficult to start to
put it into a box because it's not an immediate thing,
it's kind of an overtime thing. But I do think
that that guys are definitely responsible for being a little
(11:12):
bit too quick to judge simply on you know, first impression,
and so you know, oftentimes that first impression can you know, yeah,
maybe it works, but oftentimes that probably leads to disappointment
for both sides. So I think that this email is
really asking can men and women be friends? And I
think definitely when I was younger, that was probably harder
(11:35):
to come by because you know, you're you're kind of
out chasing girls and you know you're not looking for
kind of that solid female friendship relationship. But I found
as I've gotten older, some of my dearest closest friends
are women, and so I think that does change. So
you know, on the on the part too, on the
on the second chapter of life and dating, I think
(11:57):
that that guys will find themselves surrounded by more more
women friends and they become such valuable sounding boards, especially
when you're going through a transition of a divorce or
into a new relationship. I think that women friends can
be so much more valuable in offering advice and counsel
and so yeah, I think that over time, I think,
(12:19):
you know, female friends for me have gotten that much
more valuable and important in my life. All right, looks
like we have another voicemail coming into the pod.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
My name is Pina, and I have a question. So
I was at CVS yesterday in the Valley of Los
Angeles and they have sex toys on sale next to
the condoms, which I thought was pretty progressive.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
But my question is.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
This, how do you get your husband or partner to
buy one for you if you would like that as
a kiss? And I guess the question is how do
you really introduce sex tooice into a relationship when you
are embarrassed to do it right.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That's a question.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
This is a great question, and this is an easy
one for me.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I promise you there isn't a boyfriend or a husband
that wouldn't be curious, interested, excited and thralled over the
moon to find out that their partner is interested in
spicing things up, changing things up in the bedroom, especially
if you've been together for a long time.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So if I were you, I would go back to
that CVS.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
I'd find the aisle with the first you know, the
sale items there, and I would go and maybe try
a couple, and I would be incredibly surprised, and I'd
be willing to refund. Mister Wright's going to refund your
purchase of one of those items if if it isn't
met with the biggest smile and excitement you could possibly imagine.
(14:05):
But I'll tell you this right now that if you're
waiting for your partner to go and take that step,
you might be waiting a long time because it's kind
of an awkward thing because you don't quite know what's
going to be appropriate, what's going to be you know,
maybe too much, and if it's just going to go
and upset the woman too much.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
So I would wait.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
For a you know, a vacation, a special occasion, something
like that.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I would buy it yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Whatever you feel is comfortable, whatever you think is you know, appropriate,
But do it. You'll find something that you're that you're
comfortable with. And uh, and don't wait on him, do
it yourself, quite literally, do it yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
All right.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
We've got an email coming in from Natalie and she writes,
I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever been
in Leaf that's said, I'm now in my late forties
and have never been married. And I think it's because
of my trust issues. What fred flags am I overlooking
that I should be more aware of what I'm getting
to know a guy? Well, Natalie, I gotta say, there's
(15:06):
an old adage that says, you know, fool me once,
shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool
me five times. And there might be something major that's
going on here that that you're not seeing. And maybe
they don't realize that you guys are even dating because
being cheated on just doesn't seem right. And and you know,
I think that the red flags should be very obvious.
(15:31):
You know, are they are they taking you out to
public places or they only doing secretly dark places on
Tuesday nights. Have you met their friends? Have you met
their family? If not, you know, why not do they
not have friends? Do not have family? Because I think
at some point you should start, you know, being more
involved in their life, not just romantically, but just kind
of socially as well. You know, there's other things like
(15:51):
are they, you know, sneaky with their phone? Are they
not sharing passwords? Are they you know, hiding things from you?
And I think that a lot of times, unfortunately, men
and women both get so enthralled in a relationship they're
almost willing to overlook these things because they don't want
to be right that the person might be cheating or
might be straying off because you wanted to work so badly,
(16:13):
we're willing to overlook those little things. But too many
of those little things all compiled, you might have a
problem there. And so, you know, the obvious red flags
like we just listed, But then within your own relationship,
you just got to kind of feel it is this
not feeling like it's progressing in a relationship from the
first date to the second date, there should be progress.
(16:34):
From the second date to the fifth date, there should
be progress. And whenever that gets too kind of static
and doesn't move, probably start thinking that there might.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Be something else going on.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
And if I was speaking directly to Natalie, that's so damaging.
And you want to make sure you're getting the right
sort of help, therapy, guidance, counseling to make sure that
you know that you are a looking for the right guy,
you're not just putting yourself in a situation, but b
that you're not taking that hurt and putting it on
(17:05):
to the next guy that comes along. He didn't do
anything wrong, so make sure that you're not taking your
previous experience and compounding that by making it worse with
the next person that you date, because that's, you know,
that's a burden that he'll never be able to get over,
you know, paying the price and consequence or something he
didn't even do. So make sure that you're you know,
(17:25):
getting counseling, advice direction that make sure that you're in
a good headspace, and also make sure you're not putting
that on somebody else. Now, I got to say, we
did not expect this influx of questions and comments, So
mister Wright's gonna have to take a break here, and
we're gonna have to continue this on the next episode
answering all of these questions. Look forward to getting to
(17:47):
all of the dirty details.
Hosts And Creators
Amy Robach
T.J. Holmes
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