Episode 444: Sex Party Connoisseurs (Feat. Aida Rodriguez & Akeem Woods)

Comedians Aida Rodriguez and Akeem Woods join the ladies of Lip Service this week! The crew discuss their experiences at sex parties, their run-ins with Love Bombing, red flags they ignored, and much more. Make sure to pick up Aida's latest memior: "Legitmate Kid," as well as both their tour dates. Enjoy! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
West up It slip service a mansla yee, I'm Gigi Maguire.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh that's my cue. I'm Kim o Sorrio girl.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
I'm a Kem Woods, I'm Ida Rodriguez.

Speaker 4 (00:11):
I feel like we need to like edit this because
are too many pluses.

Speaker 5 (00:14):
It was I thought, because.

Speaker 6 (00:17):
I thought only the hosts were doing it, and then
y'all was going to introduce the guests.

Speaker 5 (00:21):
That's what I thought was gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
No, we don't everybody introduce themselves up here. Okay, all right, well,
I guess Kim Osrio's guest hosting.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Hey, you've seen her up here before.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
But Kim and I have known each other forever, and
I always introduced you to say.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
As your friend.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, I appreciate that, my friend, but also the first
woman editor in chief of The Source who okay, straight
from the Source. Also executive producer on TV shows that
you may know. So, I mean a ton of them,
a ton of them growing up hip hop, you know,
black ink love and hip hop, the impact New York.

(00:56):
So doing her thing for real, and she writes her
own scripts too.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
To be clear, we're just waiting for her to really
like her to get to work, go heavy on the plane,
all right, and I keen Wed too. We've had up
here a couple of times, and he's guests hosted with
me on Way Up. But a comedian, and of course
my other friend Ada Rodriguez, who is a woman of
the Hour today Ida who has her HBO special fighting words.

(01:26):
But also she's an author. Legitimate kid. I love that word.
She's an author.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
I appreciate that. And I love that you read the books.
Oh yeah, you actually read the books.

Speaker 4 (01:36):
I love when I read a book and I know
the person because you'd be like child.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, girl, like I can't believe you did that. And
Kim's book is juicy too. I just want to put
it out there.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
Thanks.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
But Gigi, by the way, it's going to be at
south By Southwest.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
I am me too, Monday, Monday.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
This will actually be yeah, okay, well this is because
I'm so excited that we did a world premiere of
the Magic City document Oh look, I'm wearing my shirt
of the Magic City documentary yesterday.

Speaker 7 (02:06):
I want to say I'm excited as of yesterday. I
saw it was great, but I'm actually I'm so excited
about this project. It's produced by Drake and Jamaine Duprie,
along with of course Magic City and Jamie Gertz and.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
The narrator. Yeah, I hosted there as well.

Speaker 5 (02:24):
As sit for an interview.

Speaker 7 (02:25):
It was a three part docuseries and the world premiere
south by Southwest. I've been counting down this day since
I found out, like like Christmas, like a little kid.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
Did you say Jamie Gerts the actress?

Speaker 7 (02:35):
Yes, so you know her and her husband owned the
Atlanta Hawks.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I know it so so yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:40):
She?

Speaker 7 (02:41):
Oh really I love her. She her baby, such a sweetheart.
This is a big deal.

Speaker 5 (02:46):
Yeah, it really is.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
GJ.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
At Magic City, when you were there, what would you say,
like if you had to guess what your annual salary was, Like,
how much would you say you were making?

Speaker 4 (02:55):
Like a year? Do you even know?

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Probably like one fifty to two hundred don't.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
Stop, so what I'm talking about often?

Speaker 8 (03:06):
Did you want to film therefore a Magic Yeah? Yeah
we filmed scenes there, of course.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (03:15):
I would try to work as much as I physically could,
because I always felt like when I wasn't there, I
was missing money, Like I would rather go make money
than go spend money. And I felt like if I
wasn't there making money, then I'm missing out, and like
you never know what you're gonna make, Like you could
make six thousand on a Tuesday, and you can make
seven thousand on a Wednesday, Like you can make three

(03:36):
hundred on Monday, and you can make four thousand, like
you never really know.

Speaker 8 (03:40):
In the club and look at the beginning and be like, oh,
this is this a one thousand dollar night. This is
just a two thousand dollars night. You can't tell they.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Should throw money on.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Comedians changed my whole life.

Speaker 5 (03:57):
Funny get out of what's his name?

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Roland Martin threw some money at me. And when I
did a comedy show and I picked it up and
threw it back.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
You should have let that set things off.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
Ye, I was next. So I'm from Miami, so I
grew up. Uncle Luke was my mentor. He was my
I interned for him.

Speaker 4 (04:22):
So I was very involved.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
And around a lot of the dancers, freaky red like
it was a bunch of girls. And I remember Gloria,
you know, like my beautiful Porto rock And I always
had this admiration and adoration for dancers because I remember
one of the girls at my high school dance at
the talent show. And I just remember when she started dancing,

(04:46):
everybody was and then by the end all the teachers
were running.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
Like, oh no, hold on, dance at the talent show.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
She started dancing, and then he was like, she became
like one of the star dancers at the Rolex.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
In high school, you can't do that dance in high school,
but not at the talent show.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
It's the talent, but the culture of like Miami.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
But it is a talent because there's people who are great,
and then these people there's like, come on, you gotta
do more than work around.

Speaker 5 (05:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (05:21):
I feel like a misconception I had before I started
was that every girl knew how to dance or had
like a routine or like certain costumes that they wore
blindly thinking that that was the thing.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
And I got there and I'm.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Like, half these girls can't dance at all, and they're
not flexible, they don't point their toes, like they can't
get on that po Because G's kind of exceptional, though
you can't like compare people to when Gigi was at
Magic City. She started, I mean, Monday nights kicked off
at Magic City because well not really, because of me.

Speaker 7 (05:54):
But the whole like pole movement I started when I
came to make the city.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
None of these girls were doing poetricks.

Speaker 7 (06:00):
I came in at one hundred and ten pounds and
an acup and that's all I had. I didn't have
the big booty, I didn't have the popularity because nobody
knew me from there.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
I was from Philly.

Speaker 7 (06:09):
But I had talent, and you know that is what
kind of pushed me ahead of the the game.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
It's all I have work or.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Remember when it was so popular to do like pole
fitness training, That shit was rough.

Speaker 4 (06:22):
I did a class once.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
I was like, look, my arms is hurt, my abs hurt,
everything hurt.

Speaker 7 (06:28):
Work out yeah, bruised, definitely a full body workout. And
I want to say that when I work classes as
well after I retired, and I just want to say
that I saw everyday women pull out like just sexiness
and confidence that they didn't even know they had, and.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
That was kind of to me.

Speaker 7 (06:46):
That was probably like the best reward that I got
from teaching is that you we would have like lawyers
and teachers and nurses and just like regular everyday moms
and they would come in and they would walk out
a whole different person.

Speaker 4 (06:58):
We need to do this.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, maybe we need to set up some type of
like private classes.

Speaker 4 (07:05):
Are y'all down a little Poe trick?

Speaker 3 (07:12):
But let me tell you when I knew it was
popular is when Sheila Kelly that's David Kelly's wife, wrote
a book called The S Factor and it was all
about the pole dancing. And I was like, that's from.

Speaker 5 (07:23):
The it's a book.

Speaker 4 (07:27):
Yeah, it's she they had that. Wasn't that the name
of the classes too? They had S Factors.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
It became she branded it and everything, and I was like,
what that's that's from where I come from.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
You'll know how to clap your body listen. I came,
there's a story that you were going to tell our
way up that I would love for you to share now.
He was like, I can't because you know, way up
in my show I heard is a lot.

Speaker 6 (07:50):
More I told something doing the people in the comedy.
It's not a radio story.

Speaker 4 (07:56):
But now you can tell the real story of what
happened in your gym.

Speaker 6 (08:00):
Okay, So I went, I don't I work it out?
I work out it was. It was it was a
midday workout, like not it was the summer still out.
But it was like getting to the customer night, great workout,
but I realized that it was more dudes because I've
been doing workout classes but wheezy, and there were more
dudes in this class than normal normally just a bunch
of white women.

Speaker 5 (08:20):
I'm like, all right, this is cool, dude.

Speaker 6 (08:22):
I didn't get a good workout in because I was
checking everybody out the whole time, so I didn't.

Speaker 5 (08:25):
Work out a lot.

Speaker 6 (08:26):
Afterwards, I go, I go to the locker room, and
I wish I would have kept this note. There was
a note in the locker room, in my locker because
I put all my stuff on the locker and the
note just had like an address, and it had it
just said sex party.

Speaker 5 (08:40):
And then I had an address, and in my head,
I'm like, girl on my going to.

Speaker 4 (08:44):
This so I enis said yes, I am no.

Speaker 6 (08:48):
So I so I go home, I go home, I
go home and I take a shower.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
And that's how you knew you were going No, no, no, no.

Speaker 6 (09:02):
I took it because I just worked out, just worked out,
and in my head, I'm like, I'm not going to
this party.

Speaker 5 (09:07):
But then I put in the address. Bitch.

Speaker 6 (09:10):
It was three minute walk. It was three minutes walking.
I'm like, I'm like, well, the Lord, well, the Lord
wants me to go, watched me to go. So I
go to the party and it's it's it's a gay
sex party. So exactly what you think is happening is happening.
A lot of hot dudes, a lot of people of

(09:30):
color too. I'm like, okay, inclusion. So it's just so
at one point, but there's the thing. At one point,
I'm sucking this dude and I look over and I
see a mirror and I see myself sucking this dude,
and I'm like, Nigga, is Monday.

Speaker 9 (09:46):
You shouldn't be doing this muchtigation ship on a Monday afternoon. Like, Nigga,
you have a problem you in in.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
The mirror when you looked at but he bent over.

Speaker 6 (09:59):
Yeah, he was bent over, and there was a dude
visions and there's a dude behind me.

Speaker 4 (10:07):
He was behind you.

Speaker 6 (10:08):
He was behind me, Like like like, this is gonna
be I can't wait to read the comments on this,
because y'all are gonna be Really, he was eating my ass,
so he was behind.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Okay, that's a nice I can't say something else, like
you ambidtion.

Speaker 6 (10:25):
No, I cannot wait to the homophobic comics and this
and this is gonna be why wait.

Speaker 8 (10:29):
I have to ask, So are they rules to the
sex party when you walk in? Like does someone greet you?

Speaker 3 (10:33):
Like?

Speaker 5 (10:33):
What happened was this was this was actually a really
saved sex party.

Speaker 6 (10:39):
So there's lube everywhere, there's a bunch of condoms, there's refreshments,
those gas music playing like drinks drinks and stuff like that,
and then there's music playing and the strobe lights and
then there was just.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Dude, is there a host?

Speaker 5 (10:54):
Like, hey, well there probably what I think the host
was the one who was getting fucked the most, like
he was like the bell.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Of the aga the most.

Speaker 5 (11:01):
He was the best. It was the balls.

Speaker 6 (11:06):
And so anyway, this is happened. I look at the
mirror and I see myself in the mirror.

Speaker 5 (11:09):
I'm like, oh it came. This is it's Monday.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
You can't have the room smell.

Speaker 5 (11:15):
It was just good because they had those music.

Speaker 6 (11:18):
Like it's it's spelled like sex at the end. And
I will say I stayed too long, like if there's
if there was set.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Nigga, everything's in an open room, private room.

Speaker 6 (11:30):
There's no there are private rooms, but I didn't go
what rooms, so I don't know.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
I tell you, you know, it's the least likely person
to have a sex party story here is probably me.
But I can tell it now because my daughter is older.
But my daughter when my daughter was I was little,
she had a teacher that was she was young, and
she was you know, she was cool, and she was like, hey,

(11:57):
you guys ever go out? I would love to go
out with you guys. So we were like, hey, we're
going to go out this weekend. So one of our
other friends is friends with these two queer girls and
they want to have a baby. So they decide that
they're going to get impregnated at a sex party.

Speaker 5 (12:14):
At a sex club.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
Right, no idea who the dad?

Speaker 3 (12:17):
All? No, they brought the dad, but they want everybody
to be there to watch.

Speaker 4 (12:22):
Thought they were going to just have sex and one like,
you know.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
They wanted the community to be there. But I didn't
know any of this was going on, right, So then
so I take the teacher with me. I said, Hey,
we're supposed to be going to the party. And then
I walk in. It's a locker room, right, and I'm like, yo,
what is an interesting venue, right, So I got my
clothes on and then there's a buffet, right, we didn't

(12:50):
have that. They had salmon. They had silent no alcohol
in La, though in LA you bring your own alcohol,
so everybody has these. So this is when I realized
someone was off because I saw sam and asked right,
and I was like, this is salmon.

Speaker 5 (13:06):
Or it was an old white.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
Man one the other yeah, he had a cowboy boots on.

Speaker 5 (13:12):
Or he was like.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
I was like, is this man naked? So we go
out and then there's the dance floor and they're dancing
and people are naked and people have clothes. They're trying
to pull people. So I'm like, oh, my men and
women and I told the teacher I am so sorry.
I did not know and.

Speaker 4 (13:31):
Was laughing thet I didn't expect it either.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
But we go dance and then I was like that
you stayed and danced dance with her because I was like,
I don't want protective services to come get my kids.
So we go to the other side and that's when

(13:55):
it is happening. They haven't the girls are having sex.
They're in this place clad plexiglass room that's covered there
in the in the chamber, they having sake, all the
friends are watching. I was like, okay, this is kind
of ritualistic. I'm gonna go.

Speaker 5 (14:11):
I go.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
This dude is sitting at a chair, He's like talking
to me, and he's like, come here, let's not He's fine.
I'm having a conversation with him. And then I never,
I never, never looked down on the floor to realize
that there was a line of women on their knees
in line to give him head.

Speaker 5 (14:28):
So what's her name?

Speaker 3 (14:32):
Yeah, you know, you think you're trying to get.

Speaker 4 (14:35):
Me out.

Speaker 5 (14:40):
Behind, Like, wait a second, he got a fast past.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
But I don't know. I'm said that where you from?
And he was like you Puerto Rican? I was like,
I'm Puerto Rican. The girl she goes undoes his pansts
and she gets it. And then I was like, I
think I'm gonna go, but I'm curious. I want to
know everything. I'm like, I'm doing investigative journalism. I just
want to know. I go upstairs. I hear these people screaming.

(15:04):
Is the S and M chamber they have.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
In the private room?

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Yes, And this woman is like and then I'm like,
we're gonna go get this bitch. Like something.

Speaker 5 (15:16):
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
I'm like, they're doing something.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
We go up in there.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
They got her tied up cat of nine tails.

Speaker 4 (15:23):
It's a couple.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
They're they're eating her. It was amazing because it was
I was just like, I didn't know, and it was
very very sanitary, people cleaning up.

Speaker 6 (15:35):
Yes, that's the thing people don't realize about sex party
because I told some of the story on the radio
and people were commenting disgusting disease. I'm like, y'all don't
realize plan sex parties are clean. Yeah, these people are
sanitizing these there's.

Speaker 9 (15:50):
Everyone's checking like you have like the clean So wait,
have you ever been to a sex party?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Kim?

Speaker 2 (15:56):
No, No, I'm just I know boring.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
I am in no way, no, g I'm never even
been iNTS club. Okay, watched No, I was gonna says
actual sex part back in the day because in the
music business. The reason I asked you is, remember they
used to have the Mike Show Power Summit.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
I went to that one and there was something going on.

Speaker 7 (16:20):
Right.

Speaker 8 (16:21):
Yes, they would have never let me find out. They
would be like, she's gonna write a story.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
But it was always the guys that did it, but
I just remember I was leaving to go catch a flight,
and so it was an event that they would do.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
It was actually in Cominican republics.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
That in both places some years, and then they moved
it to dr I think the year when it was
in Dominican Republic.

Speaker 4 (16:41):
But what they do is for the DJs.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
They used to set it up for like prostitutes on
the island to come and it would be like a
big room.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
I remember, yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 7 (16:51):
Remember.

Speaker 4 (16:52):
So I remember I was leaving early.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
I had like a super early flight trying to get
back home, and so I get on the elevator at
like six in the morning and a whole bunch of
guys like that were there, and I knew some of
them get on and it smelled like us, and I
guess they were just coming from the party, you know,
that they had where they said it was like a room.
One of them told me it's like a room, and

(17:15):
they turned the lights off and then it just they
go for it, and then the light comes back on
and then those people have to leave to let the
next group of guys in. Yeah, but it doesn't sound
as well organized or sanitary as the events that This.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
Happens monthly in LA, which I didn't know. It's like
a path. You pay a monthly fee and you have
they do it like once a week. That's what's then.
I don't know if they do it anymore. People. It's everybody.
It wasn't just straight people, it was every It was
all kinds of stuff happening. And you know, my friend
was like, you ain't do nothing you want to do.
I did it because I was in love with a

(17:50):
loser at the time.

Speaker 5 (17:53):
I went in.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
I saw everything I was but you know what, I
did it like a tour. I was like, and where
is that? And what is this? Because I wanted to
see all.

Speaker 6 (18:01):
This is interesting to see, even if you don't participate,
it is very interesting. I've never seen a straight one,
but because I don't want to see naked women.

Speaker 4 (18:09):
But I'm sure I.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Saw more naked men than women. The men were less inhibited,
they were more They were so free in there. You
can see the awkwardness with the women.

Speaker 6 (18:19):
That's what That's why I was thinking it is awkward
for women to go for straight ones because I can't
imagine because the dynamic is because there's still a.

Speaker 5 (18:26):
Power between the men and the women, So I imagine the.

Speaker 6 (18:28):
Energy there is different because at the gay ones it's
just like hey, we all like that.

Speaker 5 (18:35):
So it's like like but.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
And I feel like in general, men like being naked,
like yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Yeah we do.

Speaker 5 (18:42):
You see.

Speaker 4 (18:42):
Women are more conscious about their bias.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah, the beautiful women, they were all like this, oh
crusty balls getting naked.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
Just walk around.

Speaker 5 (18:52):
Likely niggas getting naked so quick.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
Yeah, they they did not hesitate. Yeah, it was amazing.
It was I never went back, like I think one
of my girlfriends says she started going because she likes
she liked to go. You know, who would I to
judge anybody. I feel like, as long as people get
to do stuff like that, that's less violent time. You know,
it keeps the violence against women down.

Speaker 4 (19:13):
Enjoy yourself, love but exactly.

Speaker 5 (19:16):
I think I will say the thing.

Speaker 6 (19:17):
The one time I did go to one, I did
like it because I kind of felt like a bad
bitch because everyone was like, look like chasing after me.
I'm like, oh, like this whole time, I was a
bit I don't know.

Speaker 5 (19:28):
So sometimes I feel bad about myself.

Speaker 6 (19:30):
I'm going to show up to like a little don
against Donna, Like okay, look at that.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Does it bout it if a guy has a little
dick in there or in reality in life?

Speaker 5 (19:40):
I mean I don't prefer it.

Speaker 4 (19:44):
Okay, Yeah, I don't want.

Speaker 5 (19:46):
To say it bothered me. I don't want to shame,
but it does. Yeah, it's not you know, but.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
That's a very interesting question because I think about that
because of the hardware, and you know the implications of
what how painful that would be, you know.

Speaker 5 (20:00):
You know, but it was not painful for men we
have we have a prostate.

Speaker 4 (20:05):
Yeah, painful.

Speaker 5 (20:07):
No, I mean not saying that it's not painful at all,
but like.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
That's not how I.

Speaker 6 (20:13):
Because those those straight, those those straight, those those draight
people pretending to have gaza.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
Actual I also kind of feel like the first time
it probably.

Speaker 5 (20:22):
Hurts there, but then if you get lou but it.

Speaker 6 (20:25):
But also at the same time, I'm not taking like
I had a dude that wants to fuck me.

Speaker 5 (20:30):
I don't know if I showed you his picture. I
have to show you his picture.

Speaker 6 (20:33):
His dick was so it was Jude in Atlanta, black dude.
His dick was so big. He sent me a picture
and I just sent him.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
L O L Y. I did show the picture because
I'm like, yeah, I got things, I got things to do, like.

Speaker 6 (20:45):
I'm not you're not fucking me. So we hooked up,
but he didn't. I just liked his dick or whatever.
And by the way, why.

Speaker 4 (20:50):
Did you do that?

Speaker 5 (20:51):
Then? Poorly? It was the worst blowdown. It was something bad.

Speaker 6 (20:55):
It made me feel like I didn't know how to
suck dick. I'm like, wait a second, I've been like
a dick for a long time, but I felt bad.
I'm over your second. I'm doing all the dick stuff.
I'm like, yo, am I bad as sucking dick? Because
it was so massd after show late picture.

Speaker 4 (21:08):
It was ridiculous and it's hard, but it's really curved.

Speaker 5 (21:10):
Yeah yeah, oh yeah you saw the picture.

Speaker 6 (21:12):
Yeah it was it was yeah, it was our first challenge.

Speaker 4 (21:17):
Well, yeah, I just celibate, so none of this.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
I know. I've been celibated for eighteen months almost well
now it's spent almost two years. But it's so funny.

Speaker 4 (21:28):
It's not like I ain't never forgot.

Speaker 3 (21:32):
I'm not like some people get. They become celibated, they
become so pious and they're like, O, I've given my
life to no. I I had to take myself out
the game because I was I was in a relationship
and I was it wasn't it wasn't working for me.
So I went into this trauma therapist and I did
a trauma therapy program and one of the one of

(21:53):
the things that you have to do is not engage
and you have to be celibate, and you have to
stay away not just the sexual part, because the sexual
part is actually the easy part. It's the emotional part
that gets connected to the special. So she was like,
I need you not to be involved with men in
this way for how long? I'm almost done. I'm still
doing it. I'm almost Oh.

Speaker 5 (22:13):
Wait, the program is longer than two years.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
No, no, no, I I hadn't been. I had no
I broke up and I hadn't been with everybody. But
then I started doing the program. It's the best thing though,
for me, the best thing I've ever done, I feel.
And it's not religious, not to shit on anybody who
does it for religious reasons, but I was like, we
got so much trauma, and we walk around with so much,

(22:36):
so many issues, and for women, they deposit all that
shit into us. And I was like, yo, I gotta
I gotta get myself together because I don't want to
be in in what I've been in before. And it's
been good. It's been hard, you know, it's been hard.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
And the way you can't have any type of intimacy
at all, though it's not intimacy nothing.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
No, for how long?

Speaker 4 (22:59):
How long?

Speaker 3 (23:00):
I'm almost done? It's while you do it's twelve steps.
It sounds like a right, but it's like twelve steps
and nine I'll be trying to do these steps fastest.

Speaker 5 (23:11):
Yeah, how long.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
It's been a long time for me because of my schedule,
because therapist, I have to sit with her, I have
to do these extra it's been but it's been like
to get all of it, to get clear without having
that in my ear, all that game and all that
toxicity from a man telling me everything that's wrong with

(23:34):
me because women on fixed plates no more that bullshit.
And I'm like, yo, I just want to be with
a healthy man above all things. You know, you gotta
be fine to me and all of that, but I
want to be with somebody who's healthy because I've never
been in a healthy relationship.

Speaker 4 (23:50):
I wonder mind that is. You know you read my book. Well,
we were watching Love is Blind.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
You know me and show, but one of the couples
that didn't end up getting married.

Speaker 5 (24:01):
Spoiler go ahead, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
I mean you know, didn't end up getting married, and
you got to see his parents have a conversation and
how his parents were like later role in him being
scared because he watched his father's infidelities and just a
lot of things that happened with his parents.

Speaker 4 (24:21):
It kind of had him nervous.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
I think that was an excuse.

Speaker 4 (24:25):
You think I will sing from the beginning.

Speaker 8 (24:31):
He did, but I just feel I felt It's like
I just kept hearing excuse, excuses.

Speaker 4 (24:37):
You don't believe you.

Speaker 5 (24:38):
I didn't believe.

Speaker 8 (24:40):
I don't think he wanted to. Yeah, because the whole
time I'm watching it, I'm like, they're building this watching
if somebody's saying gonna say no, they were building it
too much and you were too invested in their couple,
their love.

Speaker 6 (24:51):
What was so weird about it is like, you know
the premise of the show, it's a sixth season.

Speaker 8 (24:56):
You knew it was, And think about this, right, you
see how the other guy told the girl before they
got it.

Speaker 5 (25:04):
Yes, those two.

Speaker 8 (25:07):
Playing a d I felt like you watch them together
and they really looked like it seemed too perfect.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Right, he could have told her.

Speaker 4 (25:16):
He waited till they were and then he was like, yeah,
I don't think it's responsible for me to get married.

Speaker 8 (25:23):
Yeah right, if you don't want to break someone's heart,
you could tell them off camera.

Speaker 4 (25:28):
Right.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
She was in on it, but I don't think.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
She wasn't going to do it right, He freestyled his vows.

Speaker 4 (25:35):
He didn't like have it.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
I feel like bows you kind of think about that, right,
like when you get married, you don't just get up
there and be like, you know, you're real cool.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
And I just feel like I.

Speaker 5 (25:45):
Also didn't like the fact that he kept blaming his daddy.

Speaker 6 (25:47):
It's like you at some point you got to look
in with It's not you can't keep blaming your daddy.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
He said his dad took him with him when he
went to cheat.

Speaker 5 (25:54):
I didn't like that either.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
That's traumatiz that is traumatized.

Speaker 5 (25:58):
And the mom didn't find out chilled show.

Speaker 8 (26:01):
You know, my ex husband apparently had my daughter when
he was cheating with him a few times.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
Cheating field to me, it's like some type of like boundaries. Yes,
yes I don't, but when she was too little nobody
in your bed, you know kids?

Speaker 6 (26:19):
Yeah, you know, this is just I wouldn't hook up
with someone who had who would have a kid in
the room, yeah, in.

Speaker 8 (26:25):
The building, because you know, a lot of I read
this comment on these like like the Instagram posts that
will say women, what's you know? How do you tell
if they're lying or whatever? And I circled it one
of them and sent it to a friend of mine
because it was funny. We know guys that say this
is like when you're living with someone but you're not together, right, Like,

(26:49):
you know, I still live with her, but I feel
like when I was married, you know, he possibly would
have no Listen, I don't give the whole benefit of doubt,
but you know, I feel like he probably said we're
not together, but.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Saying a lot because I think about even my parents
when I was growing up, my dad like slept on
the couch all the time, you know, because I feel
like sometimes people stay together because it's convenient they have kids,
they do and there's people who like, really, I have
friends who legitimately don't have sex.

Speaker 4 (27:21):
I have friends like that too, and I do not.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yeah, I know, literally we all have sex married but
having sex.

Speaker 8 (27:31):
But The thing is if if you are not in
the relationship right like and you, I think it's worse
when you stay together for the kids. I think, if
you're gonna break up, I think just break up, just.

Speaker 4 (27:43):
Say than to do.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
It's because it's it's phony to me.

Speaker 8 (27:48):
And now the kids, you know, they need to learn,
you know, I mean it's hard. The worst time you
can break up for kids is when they're between like
seven and eleven, right like anytime before that, the kid's
kind of too young and it's fine, they don't you know,
they don't care. And then after that the kid can
process what's going on.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
But between like seven, like that.

Speaker 8 (28:10):
Pre adolescent age, it's really bad for parents to get
divorced at that time.

Speaker 4 (28:15):
So a lot of people stick with it.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
But I feel like a lot.

Speaker 8 (28:18):
Of men know after like one year of having the
baby whether they want to stay or women right, whether
they want to stay or leave.

Speaker 4 (28:26):
I feel like that's a tough.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Time though, with like women who go through postpartum and
babies do change a relationship.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
It absolutely is that, you know.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
I mean, I guess it's a case by case basis,
but I will say, knowing that his dad used to
bring him and.

Speaker 5 (28:42):
How old was his mind?

Speaker 4 (28:43):
Seemed really cool like and very.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
He was old enough to remember.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yeah, so I could imagine that that would make somebody
feel like shit like in a relationship. I don't know
if I should do this, and his dad kind of
was not taking that much accountability.

Speaker 7 (28:59):
I wouldn't have told that story on TV, especially knowing
that the mom didn't know that.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
The mom, you're putting boundaries on people who are on
a show called Love is Blind. That's where you're like,
this is where I brought The mom was great.

Speaker 4 (29:16):
Mom was great when she you weren't good to me?

Speaker 5 (29:22):
Yeah, she called him out on Can.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
You imagine falling in love with somebody though and not
seeing them?

Speaker 6 (29:27):
I'm toxic? So yeah, for me, I can't wait till
they make a gay version. If they make a gay version,
I know.

Speaker 5 (29:34):
They can't tell me.

Speaker 6 (29:35):
It's impossible because because the whole, the whole person of
the shows, they separate them the men and the women,
but for gay people they can't. And I told I
was actually I told the story and to say that
y'all know Sam Jay and I said it, and Sam's
like Sam's gay lesbian, and Sam's like they'll just separate
the tops from the bottoms.

Speaker 5 (29:54):
I'm like, that's not gonna work because you put me.

Speaker 6 (29:57):
If you put me in with the tops and I
see hot enough to I'm like, oh, I'm a bottom map.

Speaker 4 (30:04):
He said, they'll all be fucking each other.

Speaker 6 (30:05):
Yeah, so it wouldn't work logistically, But if they find
out how to do it logistically, sign me up.

Speaker 5 (30:12):
I can't wait to find.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
My back Chelsea and Jimmy that you could tell he
didn't really like feel her like that, right, So you're
fall in love with somebody's personality, with that, then overshadow
what they look like to you, because physical attraction is
a thing, and I feel like it's not fair to
act like you're superficial because if you may not be
physically attracted to someone, right.

Speaker 5 (30:34):
I just wish they were more honest with her.

Speaker 6 (30:35):
I wish the dude when he saw that she didn't
look like Megan Fox, he should have been like, yo, bitch.

Speaker 5 (30:40):
Signed.

Speaker 4 (30:43):
You're not He's not what I thought.

Speaker 5 (30:46):
He said, But he didn't say, well enough honesty for me.
He said it.

Speaker 8 (30:50):
Tonight, you know, didn't you tell her that? Like when
she asked him, was this this this couple? She said,
what do you like the best about me? He said,
you're teeth?

Speaker 5 (31:00):
Was that that? Yeah, that's kind.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
Of Somebody on social media was like, you you either
look like Megan the little creature or you look like
the fox? What has been about?

Speaker 1 (31:11):
And then looks either, but that's a weird person like
you can't that's you cannot compare yourself to like you know,
it's always going to be a letdown when people be like, oh,
I look just like this person.

Speaker 4 (31:23):
It never works out well.

Speaker 6 (31:24):
Also, I will say it was a loaded question for
him to ask, because this show is called Love is Blind.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
I tell you who the I looked like supposed to
be blind?

Speaker 1 (31:32):
How many times have you fallen in or maybe not
fall in love but ended up dating somebody who physically
like normally you wouldn't have And you know how in
the beginning you're like, I would never and then you
end up being with that person.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
I think that the most Go ahead, I talk way
more than you. I want to hear what you gotta say.

Speaker 7 (31:49):
No, Well, I usually like tall, dark guys, and I
was with a short I don't want to say what
nationality or what like culture, but he was not black.
There was and there was nothing, uh, let's say big
about him.

Speaker 4 (32:11):
Was about him that made you change your mind?

Speaker 7 (32:15):
It was his personality, it was our chemistry. He went
maybe like six months before we had sex.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
All right, Wow, Okay, I did somebody who my friends
were like, he's not your physical type. I wouldn't call
him ugly, but I would say that he just didn't
look like somebody that I would date. But he had
the most swag of anybody I ever did. He had
the most personality. He had the I mean, he's from

(32:43):
the Bronx, but he is the most swagged out dude
I ever went out with. And I was like, it
was it was his personality that got me. I just
wanted to say, because I've been on a reality show,
people will say that's right. And when I was on
Last Comic Standing, when I got eliminated from the show,

(33:04):
I walked out of off the set and they walked
me into a room with a therapist. I have them
on set.

Speaker 8 (33:11):
So when Kim's like, we don't do that on the show, No, no, yes,
you gotta go through psycho.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
You get a psycha after. So when people say that
they see these reality shows and they're like, oh, they
they set this up I'm like, you will be surprised
what people will do when the cameras get on.

Speaker 5 (33:29):
People people.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, yeah, I was on a reality show too too,
and it together get matter of fact, yes, and there
are things I was like, now, hold on, this is
like people just make stuff up and they say anything
about you. You think the cameras are off, You think
you'll cool the cameras come on all of a sudden.

Speaker 5 (33:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
And that was before cycle out.

Speaker 8 (33:50):
Remember they didn't have that psycho stuff just.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
Happened a couple of what was I forgot the name
of the damn Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
And it's a lot also because you're sitting around waiting
the film for like hours, and so by the time
you go film, you're like exhausted.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
It's a lot of Yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
J was on Beyond the Pole TV season two.

Speaker 6 (34:13):
I need to get reality.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
A lot of Love is Blind.

Speaker 4 (34:21):
Listen, we gotta figure out different. This guy was on
this season.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Gay but he pretended to. He was on Love is Blind,
but he was gay. He was he ended up Oh yeah,
he was bye. He ended up with the women like
but then it turns out he.

Speaker 5 (34:41):
Was by she was mad.

Speaker 6 (34:42):
Oh I remember that that was the first season, right,
Carlton or something like that, Cliff something something with THEE.

Speaker 4 (34:50):
But he said, you respond.

Speaker 5 (34:51):
No, he was too problematic.

Speaker 6 (34:53):
I ain't.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
I ain't got that right.

Speaker 5 (34:57):
Also, I don't live in Atlanta. I'm not going to Atlanta,
so that that's the real reason.

Speaker 6 (35:00):
Nah, he was parbmatic, and I'm not gonna lie. If
he was a little bit finer, I would have reply back.

Speaker 4 (35:07):
Right all right now.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Another thing I wanted to get into right now is
Resa Tisa. Oh right, you know, she signed a ca
They're gonna make a movie. There's like a bidding war
over her story to make a movie. But one of
the main things that she's very honest about when she's
telling her story is all the red flags that she.

Speaker 5 (35:25):
Continent.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
Yeah, the whole thing was red flags everywhere.

Speaker 6 (35:28):
Yeah, I will say in her defense, it was during
the pandemic and every and the pandemic was like the
super Bowl for scamming people because it was the best
time to scam people, and she got scammed.

Speaker 5 (35:43):
But it was like it was a pandemic. We didn't
know what was going to happen. We thought the apocalypse
was coming. So well, in her.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
Defense, I also want to say pandemic or not we
all ignore some red flags, yeah, because you kind of
believe what you want to believe. Like she she was like,
I know he lying, but whatever, I'm gonna let him
continue to lie.

Speaker 4 (36:00):
I just told him let's not look at no more houses.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
And he had a test driving cars like it was
just crazy.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
And you see he's like replying now, yeah, he's.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
Know the fact that we're even saying his name right.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
Now mental illness? Is his family say that.

Speaker 5 (36:20):
His brother came out and said mental illness.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
So let's talk about so in solidarity with Resa Tisa,
what are some things that we've done and as far
as ignoring red flags that we have been so embarrassed
to even talk about, but we can.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
Just put it on the floor.

Speaker 8 (36:36):
Red flag right here, all right, Kim, Oh my god.
My whole wedding was a red flag.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
The reality show was a red People were like, I
don't know about this before?

Speaker 8 (36:49):
Was that before? Yeah, there were a lot of red
flags that. Okay, So when I when I got married,
I got married for the wrong reasons, right, Like you
get married because you want to be married. A lot
of women get into the situation because they want to
be married, right, you want to be married.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
You want to get him to a family.

Speaker 8 (37:03):
So it wasn't necessarily like the right person. He wasn't
the right person for me. And I think throughout like
there was cheating before we were married.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
So for me, that's a red flag, right, Yes, that's
who you are.

Speaker 8 (37:17):
But you know, you kind of like, well we weren't married,
you know, or maybe you ignore it, you know, you
ignore certain behaviors, Like there were a lot of things
that happened that I was just like, okay, but you
have kids, so you stay.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
In it for those reasons, you know. But even the wedding.

Speaker 8 (37:34):
I was saying yesterday, just yesterday, that I always wanted
a destination wedding. So when I got married, why didn't
I have a destination wedding?

Speaker 2 (37:43):
Because this fool want.

Speaker 8 (37:44):
To do it here and one of his family there,
and so like I gave into that because it was like,
you're getting married, you want to be you want to
you know, compromise, and I didn't get what I wanted
like I wanted it.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
I wanted to go away and get married.

Speaker 8 (37:58):
So I think there were a lot of things, you know,
and a lot of relationships.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
Yeah, that's not That's why I'm saying we're standing in solidarity.
Now I've also been married, okay, so, but even whether
or not it was that, what are some red flags
that you ignored? And now that you look back, you're like,
what was I thinking?

Speaker 3 (38:17):
This is why I'm in this program? You know, growing
up you read my book without my father and being
illegitimate and being feeling like I wasn't enough one of
the things that I remember listening to and thinking that
it was cool. As long as he comes home to you,
it doesn't matter what he does in the streets or

(38:39):
buying into this whole idea that men are not designed
to be monogamous.

Speaker 4 (38:45):
They will tell you that, and society will tell you that.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
Yeah, and so you know, I think that the reality
of it is. Listen, I was dating somebody. He's in
the book. He's an actor, This motherfucker such. He used
to lie with a straight face, and it got to
the point where I'd be like, I feel like I'm
in a scene and I don't have my line. Can
you give me the stream?

Speaker 5 (39:07):
So I don't know?

Speaker 3 (39:07):
So here coming down that one glory tear. I remember
one time he was missing, right, he would disappear and
he popped up and he had on this ring, this
real like ring, like a skeleton ring, and I said,
where have you been? You're not gonna believe what happened.
He was like, I ended up in a fight with
all these Mexicans, and uh, I think once asked so

(39:32):
bad that I took his ring as a trophy. And
I was sitting I spent the night on his doorsteps
because I wanted to know where he was. And I
just remember just thinking to myself, I know this is
a line, but what am It's like that, like Corey
Holcomb has a joke that says you're gonna trade in

(39:54):
two dimes in the nickel for a case quarter, Like
what am I gonna do? I'm gonna break up with
him and then I'm gonna have to do this again
with somebody else who's also going to do this, Because
in my thinking, that's what I believe about men. And
so I was just like, just get over it and
then get on.

Speaker 4 (40:10):
With it, glad you want to fight.

Speaker 3 (40:17):
Furious. It was just lie after lie, and you know,
you know it, you.

Speaker 4 (40:23):
Know you know what guys lie about it. They'd be
like I was in jail, I got arrested.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Man say whatever, Yeah, they say, any I fell asleep
in my friend's house.

Speaker 4 (40:32):
You know, I remember a guy. This is how I
should know. It was a reflag. I should have never
gotten in a relationship with this guy.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
He when I first met him, he had just gotten
out of a relationship with his ex. But then I
guess like they ended up getting back together, but he
did not tell me, and so all of a sudden,
like things change because I was seeing him all the time,
and then things like really really slowed down. So I
was like, all right, cool, he wasn't my boyfriend. We
just felt like kind of dating a little. And then

(41:00):
one day I'm at work and his ex girlfriend girlfriend
again caused me, and she I guess he had broke
a phone and got a new phone, and so she
was calling from his old phone.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
And put it back together.

Speaker 4 (41:13):
Yeah, she said, he was.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Like calling me a lot, and and she was like,
you know, I'm at his house right now. I just
I'm pregnant, And yeah, she told me this whole thing.
She's pregnant, she's staying at his house. They lived together,
and then he called me on the other line while
I was talking to him.

Speaker 4 (41:31):
Wow, So you know, I told him.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
I was like you know, your girlfriend's on the other line,
and he's like horrified. So she ends up like throwing
all his stuff out the window and breaking his TV,
calling his parents. She never even met his parents, but
she got their number and was she really pregnant? No,
she wasn't. She actually, by the way, though, did had
had an abortion and was resting at his house.

Speaker 4 (41:58):
Abortion, but she was think like she.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Was having that's a red flag.

Speaker 5 (42:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
So anyway, I stopped talking to him after that. But
then one day I was on the train going home
and I run into him on the train, and then
you know, he wasn't with her anymore because then it
was embarrassing for him, like the neighbors had to like
gather his belongings out the windows. And I was like,
so we end up like little by little putting it
back together, but and then dating for like four years,

(42:26):
and I was like, why did I even that was
a terrible idea to get. Yeah, because he wasn't my
Like I justified it, you know how you justified like
he wasn't my boyfriend. He was getting out of the Yeah,
he was the train. She was like, like, I just
wanted her to get this abortion. I was being nice
to her until you know.

Speaker 5 (42:44):
Such a good lie.

Speaker 8 (42:47):
But on one of my rules is if he did
it to her, he'll do it to you, right. So
like a lot of times we get into situations right
and you think that he's going to treat you differently, right,
like or how you you know or how you.

Speaker 4 (42:59):
Mean him exactly.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
So I feel like even if you.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Say that's Christina Mackie right now and everything.

Speaker 8 (43:07):
Is exactly, but it's like, you know, you can't change
a person. Yea, they are in their character right. So
it's almost like, don't get into a situation trying to
change a person.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
You gotta, you know, meet someone where they're at.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Yeah, either enjoy yourself or if that's not what you
want and be realistic.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
What about you?

Speaker 1 (43:28):
I can tell us about some red flags that you none.

Speaker 5 (43:33):
I don't date. I'll just be out here in these streets.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
There's been a couple of times that there's some people
You're like, I really like this person.

Speaker 6 (43:41):
No, there has been and there has been some Okay,
so there was this dude I was talking to and
there were definitely red flags and I'm still actively ignoring them.

Speaker 5 (43:49):
Fair enough, He's had two wives and now he's in
demand again. Now he's like gay and we're still talking.

Speaker 6 (43:58):
So I'll be on the next episode.

Speaker 4 (44:01):
I'll let y'all know, consider himself bisexual? Is he now gay?

Speaker 5 (44:05):
He's gay? Okay, he's here for the dick.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
Now he's gay dick.

Speaker 5 (44:13):
So tune in three or four more months. I'll be
up here. The woman.

Speaker 4 (44:19):
He went back to the other side. Is he openly
gay or yeah?

Speaker 5 (44:23):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (44:24):
And giz, what about you?

Speaker 5 (44:25):
Oh man?

Speaker 7 (44:25):
You know my biggest red flag? There's two actually, Oh
my god, y'all can't breathe I'm sorry, there's two actually.
So the first one is I went back to the
same person eighteen thousand times, even though he was cheating
on me and you know, going behind my back end,
having sex with girls that we had three sons with
and all types of shit.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
First red flag.

Speaker 7 (44:43):
Second red flag was I said yes to a three
day engagement and it was engaged for sixty five days.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
And I was really for it. But I don't know
if that's a red flag.

Speaker 3 (44:52):
It was.

Speaker 4 (44:54):
It was. I mean I called it.

Speaker 7 (44:56):
I called his bluff and said yes, but like it
was a whole like love bomb.

Speaker 4 (45:00):
That's a red flag. Yeah, I should have saw that
to call someone.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
Yeah, she said, yeah he was.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
I didn't know. I mean I experienced love bombing, and
of course many times, but when I was able to
understand what it really was and how many times I've
experienced it and the letdown, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (45:21):
I've done some stupid stuff for fine people. Find people
make you do dumb ship.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
Tell me what love bombing is exactly. I know. It's
like people just.

Speaker 8 (45:28):
It's like an alcohol of attention and then affection from
the start.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
It is a that's a huge red flag to me.

Speaker 8 (45:36):
When a girl a friend of mine comes up to
me and says like, oh, you know, we talk all day,
I'm like, dang right, why y'all talking all day?

Speaker 2 (45:43):
Why y'all going back?

Speaker 8 (45:45):
You know, it doesn't make sense right because you know
they give you, they can't maintain that type of attention,
so it's all about the hunt that they're chasing you
to get you.

Speaker 4 (45:55):
It's kind of normal in the beginning, where you like
talk all the time.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
And yeah, but love red flags thing is more when
they're it feels obsessive, it feels like and they are
also they everything you want. They are. They mold themselves
into like appearing that they are those things. I experienced that,
and it was it was a lot for me because
it went from one extreme to the other because when

(46:18):
he realized that I wasn't gonna I wasn't ready to
go there, it was like, you know, and then and
then he probably went somewhere else and tried something, and
then when that didn't work out, came back and then.
But the love bombing is is somebody who keeps you
so occupied that you don't have time for yourself and
your life to really assess what's happening because you're so

(46:41):
you're constantly so invested.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
So I'm glad you said I want to read this
to you, guys, because this is a post that I
saw on social media and see if you agree or disagree.
I never used to understand why people in healthy relationships
isolate themselves from everyone, but now I get it. Once
you find your person, you realize that then you have
been you justly searching for and come and go friendships,
relationships and partying will never amount to the presence of

(47:05):
this one human And so you know how when you
get into I just like.

Speaker 6 (47:10):
No, yeah, that's the textbook definition of love bombing.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Really, because I saw a lot of people liking this post.
And you know how you could be with somebody and
it's like, really just the two of you, like you
don't go anywhere anymore, just be with chaboo.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
I don't think I think that's intense under the freeway, Yeah,
you know, I just think that's the the I remember
I went to Dela Reese's church.

Speaker 4 (47:37):
She is.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
It was like the the Science Mind Church, you know,
like metaphysical thinking church. And I remember that she the
lady preaching, said, y'all out here fantasizing about Jerry maguire.
You you complete me. She's like, that's the most dysfunctional
thing I've ever heard in my life. Two incomplete people
do not make a whole person. Two incomplete people just

(47:59):
equal to complete people. It's important to be a fully
realized and self developed human being that has your own
life and your own existence to be able to be
in a healthy relationship. This is what I've been learning
in this thing, because I was with somebody who would
do everything with me. He would go people, he'd be
at the comedy club and they'd be like, you going

(48:19):
up tonight.

Speaker 5 (48:21):
So much.

Speaker 3 (48:24):
They were like, you got to have a set. At
this point, yeah, but it's not healthy. And it's insecurity
that you latch onto somebody, you trauma bond and you're
with them all the time. And what happens to you
the individual? Because we all came here along with our
own purpose. So what you do when you what are

(48:44):
y'all gonna, y'all gonna, we're gonna start a label together?
You just unhealthy? It is the epitome. And yes, when
you are in a romance and you are in love
with somebody and it works, there are moments where everybody
else disappears.

Speaker 5 (48:58):
But which to do?

Speaker 3 (49:00):
When you have a baby, you gona ignore your baby
because you're with this person.

Speaker 5 (49:03):
You know, Like, what about your job.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
Your career, your own purpose? What about your grandmama? You're
not gonna see your grandmoma. He is the one that
sounds crazy.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
What do you think, guys, have you ever been in
that situation?

Speaker 8 (49:15):
I think I was co dependent before. I think I
had this conversation with you, right, like just being in
my marriage. So like you said something interesting, you said,
you came into this world alone.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
Right, most of the time, you're going to die alone.
So whether you know the person dies.

Speaker 8 (49:30):
Before you or you die before them, or whatever, or
they cheat and they break up. I always feel like,
you have to learn how to be happy with yourself, right,
You have to learn how to be happy with yourself
because if another person, if you're dependent on that other
person to make you happy, then you're not really happy.

Speaker 4 (49:47):
Right. So I feel like.

Speaker 8 (49:50):
I can see a situation when you're in love and
you're with someone every day, and that's cool, but don't
lose yourself in that because you anything can happen, and
you don't want to feel like, you know, you're so
co dependent that you can't exist without that person when
that person goes away.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
I feel like it's possible for me to be with
somebody all the time anyway. Yeah, yeah, because I'm like, yeah,
at work, I'm here, I'm doing other things. Like if
I'm with somebody, if I'm lucky, I'm gonna see you
for like four hours, you know.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
Yeah, But you also have you have your own angela
yee life. You go on trips with your girlfriends.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
You know, you don't have a problem with girls trips.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
I saw there a post about that, like, oh, you know,
I don't do girls trips and if I go somewhere.

Speaker 5 (50:38):
We have a problem with it. Is it men that
have a problem with women not doing no girl Any.

Speaker 6 (50:42):
Woman who's like I don't have any women friends, Like, oh,
so you just that is you're not a fun person,
Like you don't have any women friends.

Speaker 5 (50:50):
That's why you hate yourself? Yeah, I hate other women.

Speaker 4 (50:55):
It's just weird.

Speaker 5 (50:56):
That's weird.

Speaker 6 (50:57):
Yeah, because I have all types of friends, right, I
feel the same way with some, even though even some
straight gay people were like, I don't have any gay friends.
I'm like, why do you have any gay friends? And
I don't have a lot because I do comedy for
a living. But I still have some.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
But my idea of being in a good, healthy relationship
is being with somebody who when I go on a
girl's trip, is like, I trust my my woman. I
know she's gonna be and I can be like, oh
he in Vegas with his boys. You're not nervous, no,
because if he's gonna cheat, he'll cheat down the streets. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (51:30):
The location has nothing to do with cheat. And if
you're gonna be a cheater, you gonna be a cheat.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
Yeah, exactly. My boyfriend is like, I like when we
miss each other.

Speaker 8 (51:37):
I like that too, Right, when you're away from someone
and then you get to miss them because then you
you value the time you spend together more.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
So, what about friends of the opposite sex, Like if
you're with somebody that's and and I want to say
I saw this. Was it on Taylor Rooks and Joy
Taylor's podcast. They were saying that they couldn't trust a
man who didn't have female friends.

Speaker 4 (52:01):
And I've always said that too, because I agree.

Speaker 6 (52:04):
With that because if you don't have female friends and
you're a straight man, then that leads me to believe
that you only think of women as sex But if
you only see women as sex objects, then that's gross.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Yeah, because some people think there's no such thing as
platonic friendships those and those are people.

Speaker 8 (52:19):
Yeah, I hate when people say that. Yeah, like so
that they can't be platonic.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
Oh, I've been that insecure. I have been that insecure
that I have felt threatened by a female relationship that
my partner has with a woman that that's been platonic
before I even came along. But I know that it
was insecurity, which that's stepnumber seven. But I just I've

(52:45):
been that insecure where I've been like, I'm the only
friends you need. You don't need to be. And you
know this other thing being Puerto Rican that's very celebrated
in our culture. Like my mom is like, because you know,
Puerto Rican women are jealous and we're violent, and I'm like,
that's toxic and unhealthy and it's exhausting, and so walk
around being that all the time. It's not going to

(53:06):
do anything but make your liver sick. Like, I don't
want to live my life like that, but I've been
so insecure in a relationship that the thought of my
partner looking at somebody's page made me feel because it
was how I feel about myself. So, you know, and
I don't want to be like that. I don't I
want you to have a friend. I want you to
see women as people.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
Right now, you're right, How after you put out your
book and your special and the documentary and everything that
you've done, do you feel like there's been like a
weight lifted off of you for being able to tell
your story?

Speaker 3 (53:39):
Yeah? You know, it's funny, my therapist told me, because
I've had a pinch nerve for like six weeks, and
my therapist was like, you have trauma trapped in your body.
And Mama Souse was like I would not be surprised
that since you had that download of all that stuff
coming out, it's all just trying to get out of
your body, because you know, I got raped, so then
trauma's trauma gets trapped in your physical body. And I've

(54:03):
been that was the other thing that I've been dealing
with in this thing, is like getting that stuff out
of me. But I said things in that book I was.
My mom still hasn't read it because I don't want
I don't want her to read it because I don't
want her to hurt. But I said things in that
book that I had never been able to get out.
And it's only because I sat down and wrote it
that I was able to get that stuff out of,

(54:24):
you know, and hopefully it'll help somebody else, you know,
because people are like you. Puerto Ricans were like you.
You don't air out our dirty lune.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Yet that's definitely a cultural thing too, I mean even
for Caribbean culture. You're not everything is supposed to be
like in the family.

Speaker 4 (54:40):
Like that too.

Speaker 6 (54:42):
Nothing gets fixed if you keep it all.

Speaker 1 (54:45):
I wonder what the conversation you'll have with your mom
is if she ever went because I know at.

Speaker 3 (54:50):
Some point will I forget. I mean, I told her
I had to forgive myself because a lot of the
stuff was me holding that in. But I adore my mother, And.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
I know you talked about how you don't want people
to hate your mom, and that was a big jail
for you.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
She had her first baby when she was like thirteen,
and she was a victim of abuse, and so what
was she going to do?

Speaker 5 (55:11):
You know?

Speaker 3 (55:12):
That's the thing like people are like when you hear
those conservatives talking about liberals and you hear them talking
about poor people there's no father in the home and
all that bullshit that they're always saying about things that
you know, affect everybody, not just people of color. There
are a lot of single parents led white homes and
real America. But that's the bullshit that the things that
we are always holding people to, these metrics where they

(55:35):
don't have the resources to meet. My mom didn't grow
up and you know, going to school, having therapy, having
a resource.

Speaker 5 (55:45):
That's a new phenomenon.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
So I have to give her grace, Like what was
she going to do? She had she was a kid
with a kid, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (55:53):
And so and like you said, forgiveness is for you also.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
Oh self, their baby, the best self care you can
give yourself.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
I can't wait till you write your book.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
That's all.

Speaker 6 (56:05):
Neither come on Audible, give me on them deals.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
Because you know, comedy is a form of therapy too,
it is. That's how I got started.

Speaker 5 (56:17):
But I will say it's also not therapy. Comedians.

Speaker 3 (56:20):
Man has become a.

Speaker 5 (56:21):
Mess because it is not right now.

Speaker 4 (56:26):
Yeah, you guys are.

Speaker 3 (56:29):
You will? It is a lot of it's just drama though,
But you would think by the way that these comedians
be talking that they can fight.

Speaker 5 (56:40):
That's why I know I can't fight. I talked about
how I can't fight.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
It's a couple of them.

Speaker 5 (56:45):
But yeah, I am not a fighting gay. I'm not
one of them. Games like that is not all right?

Speaker 1 (56:50):
And then do you feel like you have to pick
a side sometimes too, because there are people.

Speaker 5 (56:53):
Who sometimes yeah, you know they.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
See you with this person, but you have some type
of solidarity with this person who might have put you
on more than this person. You know that's hard because well,
you know, people are sensitive. Comedians are sensitive.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
I'm friends with a comedian who has beef with everybody.
He actually took me I mean took me on the
roll when my grandmother died. Was the one that was like,
I'm talking about Corey hocom you know, like, I don't
inherit other people's beef because I think that the thing
about and my son was the one that told me,
he's like you dealing with somebody else's situation that you

(57:32):
have nothing to do with. You don't know where those
people were at that point in time where they're going
through this, and now you want to say, oh, because
you said this, it's really hard in comedy. I'll tell
you what, I'm so disappointed by. What I'm disappointed by
is all this beef, All this he says, she say,
they say, we say, and ain't nothing coming out in

(57:55):
the comedy Like I would expect that after said comedian
said all these things. That comedian was like, you would
see a slew of comedy specials with some fire ass
jokes like when when uh nas and jay Z Yeah,
let's get you, Like, where are those comedy specials.

Speaker 5 (58:17):
That are podcast? All the doing is like you me
on the podcast.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
On the podcast, I'm going take it on right, the
most clever joke that you could ever write about? Remember
what Jamie Fox did that special when he said j
punks him all in his mouth. It was he went
out to stage and did jokes about the people who
had said something about him. He went in on j log,

(58:45):
but it was that it was in the joke and
it was funny.

Speaker 4 (58:49):
And then you kind of can't get mad because it's comedy.
I mean you can, but you understand that.

Speaker 5 (58:57):
But but now everyone's just like just doing it on.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
The Where is that comedy eather? Where is the takeover?
That's what I was as a comedian. I was like,
all right, we're shaking it up. Kat Williams did he
connection on January fourth?

Speaker 9 (59:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Yeah, he has been on stage, and I haven't been
at the shows because now it's as harder to see
the content because you can't bring phones in.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:20):
Yeah, so there might be stuff going on. We just
may not.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
Also, Oh well, I know Kat talks about it on Sage.
I feel like he has because I seen a couple
of little custins.

Speaker 3 (59:29):
But I did a show with Cedric on Friday and
he talked about it. He's okay, and it was funny
and it wasn't even it wasn't malicious because Cedric is
not a malicious person doesn't. People will say, well, why
Cedric is not. He's not a malicious.

Speaker 5 (59:42):
Seem like a family guy.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
He's just not. He's a good spirited person. And the
thing about this is like we as people of color,
will shoot on each other and shoot each other out,
but we get in these public spaces that none of
these white names come up, and you only black comedians
stealing jokes? Yeah, only not comedian stealing calling everybody? Are

(01:00:04):
you only calling the people who.

Speaker 5 (01:00:05):
Look like you? That's why. That's why I said this
on Copage podcast.

Speaker 6 (01:00:10):
I think Kat Williams is like the King of cold
twitching because he was. He went on Shape Club with
all this animosity and energy and called our earthquake. Can't
read this niggag shit. He did all that and then
he called off Joe Rogan he's like jokes and booking
the same mediocre white people. And then he went on
Joe Rogan show and proceeded to talk about space and

(01:00:31):
aliens for three hours. Wow, nigga, you just said that
he wasn't ship. Now you're on his show say that
he ain't.

Speaker 4 (01:00:39):
Ship Like I didn't walk about that.

Speaker 6 (01:00:42):
It was three hours of of of of aliens, made
the Pyramids.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
All that saff was a conversation, Yeah, because brother and
Martin had some things to say about that.

Speaker 4 (01:00:52):
The Mentho that was that was.

Speaker 6 (01:00:54):
Why It's like show you had three thousand books and
none of them was on Mentho's Nigga.

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
Teocrat, where you got a journalists crack coming back with
clever jokes and the comedians but Hurt.

Speaker 5 (01:01:07):
I'm like, why are you?

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
Why are you in your field? And then you go
sit around the most instigating people that are just gonna
be like, hey, so such and such as because everybody's
trying to get their videos to go viral, go to
Netflix and say I got a fire ass hour. I'm
gonna address all of this. I wouldn't even talk on
a podcast. I'll be like, you know what, see me
on y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
It shakes so long because by the time you address
things in a Netflix special, it'd be like months later.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Oh yeah, like Chris, well, you know what the thing is?
You going on stage recorded and put the clip up.

Speaker 6 (01:01:41):
That's what everybody and then still stand up, Yeah, do the.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Stand up clip?

Speaker 4 (01:01:46):
Well.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Godfre's like he's doing a go fundme, So shout out
to him for that because he wants to do his
own special, so he's trying to raise money to do
it because it's time. And I do admire when people
can say, all right, i'm gonna figure this out.

Speaker 4 (01:02:00):
I'm gonna own my stuff, you know.

Speaker 6 (01:02:03):
Because the industries ain't The industries are still being the industry.
So they picked who they like and if you don't,
if they don't like you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
That's what we should be rebelling about that somebody like
Godfrey doesn't have an hour exactly that's what you should
be and he could, like.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Somebody would do it, you know, he said, Shack hit
him up. But it's also ownership too, and I'm having
control over the country.

Speaker 6 (01:02:22):
But the fact that Netflix hasn't came to him when
the deal is insane, right right, But it's like, but
they like who they like, and if you're not, if
you're not the Dave Chappelle's of at all, But then I.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Look at like a Joe Koy who couldn't get a
deal either and then did his own special and then
you know, and maybe you'll get more.

Speaker 3 (01:02:37):
Yeah, I don't know that anyone who did. They ready,
all twelve of us got our special from Netflix. No,
they not one of us.

Speaker 6 (01:02:47):
Which is insane because every one of you are justifiably
could do.

Speaker 5 (01:02:51):
An hour oh for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
I mean I went and did mind an HBO Max.
But what I'm telling you is nobody in that. And
and listen, we got viewership because even though they don't
give us our numbers, there are people there who do
tell you, hey, look, but the thing is, there are
people who've been doing stand up way longer than me,
who deserve an hour special before me. I am humble
enough to say that, but they didn't give anybody. We

(01:03:14):
can't sit around and wait on these institutions.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
And I produces specials as well for other comedians. You
know what I'm saying, Walk that walk, talk that talk. Okay,
Angela goes to them.

Speaker 4 (01:03:26):
I will be there all right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
Well, listen you guys. I appreciate y'all for coming through.
We talked, we were all over the place. Yes, we
talked about sex parties, and we ended with therapy.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:03:42):
But Ada Rodriguez I keen with. I appreciate both of you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
Make sure you follow them, make sure you go see
items on tour right now.

Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
Yeah funny. So actually April sixth, I will be with
U in Prairie Texas with t I, Tiffany Hottish, Ryan Evans,
and Capone. We're doing the show, so make sure you
check that out. But if you go to funny Ida
dot com you'll see where all my shows are and
make sure you check them out.

Speaker 6 (01:04:09):
You see me there and a Keen same thing. Keenwoods
dot com has all my tour dates. I can't think
of any April dates right now, but go look atwood
dot com.

Speaker 5 (01:04:21):
I don't know where I'm at, but I'm out here.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
I'm out there all right, well gg south by Southwest
on the City documentary on the way, and.

Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
Wait to see that Sarrio girl not on tour.

Speaker 7 (01:04:32):
We'll see what we are tuned into the impact every
week out Yeah, hey, good to hear.

Speaker 4 (01:04:37):
All right, it's Lift Service