LS Episode 541: Love is a Verb (feat. Raheem DeVaughn & Dr. Mimi)

This week on Lip Service, Angela Yee sits down with Raheem DeVaughn and Dr. Mimi from Married to Medicine for one of the most honest conversations about love, mental health, marriage, and modern relationships.

Raheem opens up about losing his father, therapy as a Black man, and how grief reshaped his approach to love and self-care. He shares powerful insights behind his new project Quiet Storm Lover Vol. 1 and breaks down key takeaways from his song “20 Lessons of Love,” including why love is a verb, why actions matter more than words, and why the grass isn’t always greener.

Dr. Mimi gives an inside look at marriage, accountability, and doing the personal work required to sustain real love. She talks about therapy, emotional growth, and navigating reality TV while protecting your family. She also shares her journey as a mother raising a son with autism and why representation matters.

From social media boundaries and “posting your partner,” to hygiene debates, bedroom dynamics, gray areas in relationships, and when to apologize quickly — this episode blends vulnerability, humor, and real-life experience.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
What's up its lift service.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm Angela yee yes, I'm doctor Mimi.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
And I am Radio Raheem Devon.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Radio Raheem Devon. I love that doctor Mimi from Married
to Medicine. You are a psychiatrist.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
I am a bored certificed, yes, certified.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
So let's be clear. Some people are not bored.

Speaker 4 (00:20):
Some people are not bored certified. I am, and I'm
very good at what I do.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Okay, Well, we got to get all into it. And
what I love is having both of y'all here, okay,
because he's really like a love doctor. Yes, is that
a real thing?

Speaker 5 (00:36):
I mean, you know, I mean I don't know. Usually
the men they call me the love doctor when they
want to call me a love king publicly.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Okay, yeah, we don't want to get a coming, you.

Speaker 5 (00:45):
Know, the Moniker, the Love King of Solin R and B. Y, Yes, the.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Love Radio, the love King of Solin R and B.
But today you're the love doctor because you're giving us lessons,
that is, and I want to see, like how we
jive on these things.

Speaker 5 (00:58):
I will definitely speak from personal experience vicariously through you
two ladies.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Wait a minute, tell he's good right now I want
to ask you, doctor Mimi, for you joining the cast
and married to medicine, which the ratings have been.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Through the roof, Yes they have.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
How is that for you though? Because I always think
about being a psychiatrist and being on that show. There's
a lot of things that happened that could be stressful.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
Absolutely, I mean life is stressful, okay, like look at
the climate that we're in. But just to bring like
I join the cast, just to bring auth authenticity, to
showcase like who we are as a family, and just
showcase mental health, like this is kind of what we do.
And then to be someone that's relatable, to be someone

(01:43):
who is like, hey, you can come, you can come
to your psychiatrist.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
This is who I am.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
I am that good professional girlfriend and we're gonna hold
each other accountable.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Okay, we're liking, right, have you ever gone to a
psychiatrist or counsel?

Speaker 5 (01:58):
I was one of those. I was one of those
black men in it. Thought for a long time it
didn't apply for me. I didn't need it. And then
and then you know, and then I had a loss.
I lost my dad, you know, uh, and you know
lose I think, you know, the only thing worse than
probably losing a parent is like losing a child. You know,
I wouldn't either one on anybody, but that's what that's
what put me in a space of where I had

(02:18):
to go in like you know, talk to a therapist
start and you start to go to you start going
down the rabbit hole and realizing your triggers and the
trauma that you've been carrying your entire life. You know,
whether that's ranging from you know, sexual abuse to a physical,
a verbal abuse or anythings, you know, just different things

(02:40):
that you just just just encountered.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
You know.

Speaker 5 (02:43):
I think the dopest thing about that has for me,
it that has been great about therapy was like the
homework assignments because you might not understand what the whole
work assignments are for in real time, but it's when
it's when you take that break from therapy or you know,
some people continue to go or you know, or you're
not you may not be going right now in real time,

(03:04):
but it's but but but the homework assignments you know
are like you know, it's the same reason I guess
why they gave us homework.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
In therapeutic, Yeah, therapeutic.

Speaker 5 (03:12):
And you can you can actually when you're in it,
when you're in a position where you have to make
a decision, a rational decision to use your skills, not
crash out on yourself or crash out on anyone else,
because that's the goal from day.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
You don't want to crash.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
And I tell I tell people like finding a good
psychiatrist and the therapist.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Is like dating.

Speaker 4 (03:33):
So you just if you don't jus or vibe with
that psychiatrist or therapists initially, keep going.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Find someone that you can relate to. Don't give up.
And so it's like dating. And so like, yeah, you're.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
Gonna get that good therapist and they're going to show
you or even teach you like good practical skills. So hey,
this is what I'm seeing. This is what you're going through,
because there're some skills that you can try in real
life situation. Because life happens, and it happens fast.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
This is how you deal with it. What'sn't an example
of like homework that you had that helped you.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
I mean I say, like boundaries for one, like you
think or you just think you're not you know, you're
being scenarios and you'd be like, am I tripping so
to have that biased ear for somebody to tell you, like, no,
you're not tripping. You're allowed to set a boundary. You're
allowed to like completely, if necessarily, shut down on somebody,

(04:28):
not for lack of love for them, but more so
for lack of love for yourself, you know what I mean,
because of you know, triggers are real, are a serious thing,
you know, like mental health is a serious thing, you know,
for Black men in particular, for us, you know, you know,
for me, Like you know we're walking around with carrying
a lot. You know, I got a song right now,
you know that I put out in the last few

(04:48):
years called Love the Pain a Way, which speaks from
a black male's perspective. It's for a black it's for men,
it's for women that want to celebrate the men in
their lives. But it's also to let women know that like, hey,
we're carrying a lot, Like you know, we're carrying a lot,
and it's.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
Something sexy about a man doing their own mental health work.
You're just like girl, like, yes, you are so in
tune man, So I yes, I love just to hear that,
like black men in particular doing their work and just
wanting to make sure. Hey, I wanted to be the
best man that I can, not only for my family,
just for myself.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
What's really hard is when you want to ask your man, like,
what's the problem that's wrong, and they just keep being
like nothing, nothing like sometimes you know, and I don't know,
am I supposed to like push or just.

Speaker 5 (05:32):
We've been made to feel like I think we've been
made to feel like whether it be through society or
you know, film, television, whatever, you know, the culture, our
culture right that we can't you know that we can't
talk to our women, you know, or strong or there'll

(05:53):
be a judgment or you know. I mean if you
think about it from a time from a time you know,
you were born, you know, as men, as young boys,
you don't don't cry, tough enough, just all these things,
you know what I mean, These these stereotypes that they create,
they create an internal uh battle in tug of war

(06:16):
and and and and then and then you know, and
then you become this man and you and you're trying
to be able to identify, well, where's a safe space
to like the dunk?

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Absolutely, what was your relationship like with your father?

Speaker 5 (06:29):
My father, we spoke, we spoke a few times a day,
you know what I mean? Like that, So I was
I was actually his caregiver, you know, at one point
you know, on paper. Uh you know, I talk about
it publicly now, but most of most of his most
of his adult life, he uh, he had he suffered
from mental health, from schizophrenia, so you know.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
But also he was he was a genius. He was
brilliant you know.

Speaker 5 (06:55):
Childhood, uh prodigy cellist and a teacher.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
And music was in the family.

Speaker 5 (07:01):
Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, so you know, he was
he was, he was, he was he was everything, you know,
but most most importantly he was he was just my dad,
you know what I mean. So probably the toughest part
about losing my father probably has been the fact that
we would speak after every show. He would make it
his business to like call and like check on me,
not not because he needed anything, not because he wanted anything,

(07:24):
just to genuinely like checkings like how I was to show,
you know, I think musicians creators, which is naturally nighthouse.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
So he'd be up and just calling and doing that checking,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (07:34):
So that's something that I that that I miss, you know,
but definitely appreciated it. You know too, and you know
had it for a while.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
You know.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
I think it's also great to celebrate the fact that
he was able to see you kind of as a
musician and the family. I know that made him so proud,
as you know, because sometimes you know, our parents be like,
you know, that's my son. Like you'd be like, how
do people know?

Speaker 3 (07:58):
You know? That's moms? You know, like why are you
telling everybody?

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Everybody from the supermarket like, hey, the cashier wants to
say hello. I'm like, how do they even know?

Speaker 4 (08:12):
It ain't so proud there just there is so proud
and that just brings you, like it brings them joy.
And just for him to kind of just see you
when he was here and just say okay, let me
just check it on my baby.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
And it's a blessing to be able to be a
caregiver for your parents too. Yes, you know, to be
in that musician to be able to provide that.

Speaker 5 (08:30):
But it's a but, But it's a it's a responsibility
that everyone may not know and you don't always have
time to explain.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
So when you know, when.

Speaker 5 (08:37):
People say, well, hey, yeah, you're the hardest working person,
you know, one of the hardest working in the industry
or you know, like cool. But you know, not to
say I don't have that choice, but I you know,
it's something that was just instilled in me from from
like being young, you know, and and see our heart.
You know, my mother worked, you know, being in that
single parent household, although my father was and in the household,

(09:00):
he was in my life, you know, seeing how hard
my grandmother worked. You know, I saw you know, women.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
I saw hard work.

Speaker 5 (09:07):
You know, my first job I had at fourteen sixteen
ever looked back, so you know, I've always understood what
hard work is. You know, how you persevere the fruits
of the labor that you.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
Can have from you know, of course nowadays which the
goal is to work.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
Smarter, yeah, not harder, many different.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
You want to enjoy life.

Speaker 5 (09:30):
You want to enjoy you want to be able to
enjoy the fruits of the labor, smell of roses, you know,
do the things that you want to do with family
and and and the kids and all the things.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
You know, so balances is necessary.

Speaker 5 (09:44):
And one of the things that one of the dopest
things for my for my therapy sessions was when we
got into like, well, what are you doing for yourself,
like self love. So for me, it was like, well,
what's some of the things you enjoy doing?

Speaker 3 (09:56):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (09:57):
Let me go find something I enjoy and that's the
SPA's okay.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Oh the spot, Yes I'm not.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
And I was about to say, like we talk about
like the five love languages, and we always talking about
about like, okay, what can some money do for you?
But like what are you doing for yourself? Like what
is that? So it sounds like physical touch it's my
love language. And so let me go to the spot
and let me love on myself.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
When yourself, you know, loving yourself. And so a self love.

Speaker 5 (10:24):
Day for me looks like an ivy drip machine.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
You know what I like?

Speaker 5 (10:33):
You know, these are all things I like got into
after the loss of my dad. But it's also just
getting older and wanting to preserve myself though I want
to be around you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
I mean we also cannot, hey, gig, we also have
to recognize the fact that last year you celebrated twenty
years of your debut album. Yeah, yeah, the Love Experience, Yes,
the Love Experience. Just imagine that. It's sorry, I'm with y'all.

Speaker 6 (11:00):
You just got here from Miami.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, yes, said it. But you know we were talking
about and doctor Mimi, this is gig and I've been watching.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
It's not a game outside. I don't know if I
could do a gg got to on and be slipping
and sliding. Now, while we're talking about this, and you're
talking about loving on yourself, I want to talk about
the twenty lessons of love, you know, and.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
The tour of the song, well the.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
Tour of the song, because that is a song, but
in the actual song you break it down, and I
want to talk about our lessons of love, you know,
you name yours, and I want to see what the
lessons of love are. You're married and happily married, so
we want to hear from you. And then I'm in
a relationship, gig. It's complicated, complicated, but that means we
all have different lessons, you know, So talk about the

(11:54):
twenty lessons of love and what made you even right
the end, and that was the tour that's everything.

Speaker 5 (11:58):
Yeah, So it came about, you know, my business partner
at the time, we were putting a tour together. We
were tossing titles around. He hit me and said, hey,
we think about twenty Lessons of Love. I said, I
love it. I said, the only thing that's missing is
the song. So, you know, as a creative, that's what
we do. We run to the studio, we create the song.
So so so in the days to follow after I

(12:18):
spoke with my production buddy KP from the colleagues, I
put in a call to him. He's down in Atlanta.
I'm like, Yo, I want to do I want to
do this record, twenty Lessons of Love. I wanted to
feel like this, you know, I want a nostalgic nineties
feel where I could still do what I do now
in the space that I'm in right now in real time.
And and then but then I started really like thinking about, like, yeah,

(12:39):
like what are my twenty lessons?

Speaker 3 (12:41):
How do I want to approach this? You know?

Speaker 5 (12:44):
You know, it's it's a it's a you know I
think about when I think about the record itself, I
think about like Tyree's Signs of Love making, I think
about Kel's twelve Play you know what I mean, which
we're very nostalgia records during the nineties, really dope top melodies,

(13:05):
but very detailed and descriptive as well as what they were.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
Right get into it, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Right, So nice descriptive writer story.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
Right, so so so and and and then it just
kind of like, you know, I don't physically sit down
and write things down. So once I got in there,
it like really just like came together.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Why you don't physically write things down? Nah, that's amazing, right, Yeah,
get in the move.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
When the zone song zone, you know, we might do
we may do like two three a day, you know
what I mean. I'm very I'm I'm really dope.

Speaker 5 (13:41):
Songwriter friend of mine that was just on the tour
with me, uh Bb from Compton Phenomenal Artists and Songwriter,
she was telling me that, like it's kind of you know,
within the industry, it's like a as a rule of
thumb as a songwriter, it's like a thirty thirty minute rule,
like in terms of like being able to write the
song in thirty minutes, and there were a few people
that were like faster than her.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
I've like since applied that.

Speaker 5 (14:02):
A little bit in the studio, but I have become
more of a perfectionist, you know what I mean. So
I may take a little longer on a record, but
I think that you but but you but hopefully you
hear that, you know what I mean. Like, the goal
at the end of the day is to make something
that's nostalgic that will be around and be played forever.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (14:21):
So the feedback on twenty lessons of love has been great.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Give us a couple of lessons now stick out to
you from your twenty lessons, because then I want to
go around the room and everybody give lessons.

Speaker 5 (14:33):
Not to be cliche, but to the lyrics. But I mean,
it's all laid on the lyrics. One, love is a
verb of action. Two not just sexual satisfaction. Three much
more than a four letter word. Five it's keeping your
word when you give it. It's fragile and delicate. If

(14:54):
it's not godly and have it sent, it's not love.
The grass is not greener on the other side.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
I know that, Remember that one messed up that way.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
Love is complicated sometimes do you.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
Have a grass is greener on the other side? Story
where you left a great situation?

Speaker 3 (15:11):
All?

Speaker 5 (15:11):
Do you know what I mean? Like, you know, it's
been a few days, it's been a few that got away.
I mean, but you know, if they if what they
say is true, or what some say is true, like
we chose what we chose this path before we came here,
and ideally you're you know, deja vu is nothing but
more than like confirmation that you are on the path

(15:32):
of where you need to be in real time, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Have you ever had to be like I just want
to say I'm sorry for I would do guys.

Speaker 5 (15:41):
Yeah about like double back on some like absolutely like
yeah for like like like man, I just realized I
was like totally immature with how I handled you, fumble.
I want to say, like the bag I ain't gon fumble,
no bag.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
Heart, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (16:00):
But but even but even as even as creatives, I
don't know about whatever creators, I have to be sometimes
my own guinea pig for for the art to come.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
Out, Like I got to experience a message.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
And cord like you know what I mean, Like.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Like you really got to have a marathon.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
Yeah, from experience, like and then you know, we have
to test it out.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
I got to make sure that sious.

Speaker 5 (16:26):
Yeah, I mis serve you ups like customer service, customer service,
like you know you have to make the slow damn.
Then you test it out. You don't want to give
it out to the public if it doesn't work in
the cast.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Do you ever put on this? Yes, so you do.
You will put on a song.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
We had that discussion. I'm going to will test it out.

Speaker 5 (16:45):
Yes, a repeat that you should call it a playlist.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
Now that I'm on the choir, still called it a
lay list.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
Lay your head.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Is, lay it down head whatever windows you like?

Speaker 1 (17:08):
GZ what if you have to say some of your
lessons of love? Give us three?

Speaker 6 (17:13):
You know I'm big on communication, Okay, Yeah, I feel
like when your partner, you should be able to talk
about anything good, bad or in different. If you don't
agree with something, that doesn't always have to be an argument.
Two plus two equals four. But so the three plus one,
so I believe in, like you know, compromise. It was
something that you said in the first two that stood
out to me. What was the first one?

Speaker 3 (17:33):
Say? Love is a verb of action.

Speaker 6 (17:35):
Yes, action speaks louder than words. Showing your words is
only noise into the actions match.

Speaker 5 (17:40):
Not just sexual satisfaction. It's more than just a four
letter words.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
We love it, that's all right? What about you?

Speaker 2 (17:49):
I was number one? I think you gotta give what
you want you have.

Speaker 4 (17:52):
To be attracted to that person. Okay, well, yes, we
love about potential, but no, like am.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
I attracted to you?

Speaker 3 (17:59):
Do?

Speaker 2 (17:59):
What do you get me? And then a number two?

Speaker 1 (18:02):
An attraction for you is different than somebody else, right
it is, yes, but I might be attracted to somebody
might be like.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
Yes, but get what you want?

Speaker 4 (18:10):
Get like okay, like no, this is what I like,
this is what I want. But also apologize quickly. If
you're in a committed relationship, we gotta we gotta stop
playing games like okay, we yes, this can be petty,
but I'm apologize. We don't have to reconcile right now.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
I'm apologized very quickly.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Right, Okay, I like that.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Get what you want? Apologize quickly?

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Oh you know what I would say. One of mine
is is to always express gratitude. I think sometimes we
could take it for granted that people are expected to
do nice things, or you go out to eat, he pays,
and sometimes we don't even say thank you because it's
just oh, it's a regular, regular shiit regular day. But
it is nice to be like, thank you so much
for planning at dinner, thank you for this reciprocity. Yeah,

(18:53):
and reciprocity the older I get.

Speaker 4 (18:55):
That's everything, and that affirmation goes a long way.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Okay, So you just got you got to set it up.

Speaker 4 (19:01):
Set it up right, Okay, even if that's not your
love language, it's bills, unnatural affirm that man affirmed that
that lady, and you can set it up for later.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Okay, do the things.

Speaker 4 (19:14):
I see why, Hey, my kids were eighteen months apart.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
You wasn't playing now. I want to ask you this
because you know, we got to get into some of
the married to medical Okay. So I saw Sweet Tea
with saying that y'all wasn't never really friends. She brought
you on the show supposedly allegedly, but now she's like,
it's never friends and the friend wouldn't do X, Y
and Z.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (19:39):
Okay, Sweet Tea's husband is a psychiatrist. I'm a psychiatrist,
so we're in the same community.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
No shade, no Tea.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
But will I be Sweet Tea's friend? Like, I don't
think we don't have too too much in common? Okay,
we tried, it didn't work, and that's and that's fair,
and that's that's it, so and that's it. So I
wish her well whatever she is doing. I hope that
she gets whatever she wants in terms of her relationship,
her family, all the things.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
But let's be clear, nobody brought me on the show.
You know, I was placed here.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Okay, okay, so check that. How do you feel? How
do you feel about season twelve?

Speaker 2 (20:20):
Season twelve? It is good, It's really good.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
Last year I would say I was observing the mess.
Now I am in some of the mess.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
Okay, I tried to mediate I did. I did. I
think sometimes it's hard with the women on the show
because they're getting into it. They don't want nobody to.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
Know, they don't know, they don't want any resolve. But
that's who I am, Like, yes, that's my profession. But
also you wanted people to have like meaningful dialogue like this,
have some conversations.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
And they're not trying to hear each other, and so
let me go ahead and just fight it out.

Speaker 4 (20:52):
Untie, you s fight it out, Chad, Okay, go ahead.
But it's been really good. I am just developing more
deeper connections with the ladies.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
But you know, it's a lot of history.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
We've been on for like twelve seasons and this is
my second season.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
But you know me, coming into this, I'm like, y'all.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
Got a lot of ship, did y'all feel side? Here's
the thing, I'm not gonna pick a side. I'm gonna
pick like who's holding Like, I'm gonna hold you accountable,
and so that is that's my side, the side of accountability.
So I don't care who If you're in the wrong,
you're in the wrong. And so I'm going to tell
you I'm also going to.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
Deliver that ship.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
To the death with each other.

Speaker 6 (21:30):
Yes, instead of accepting accountability or admitting like Okay, what
I did wasn't right or whatever the case.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
They over talking.

Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yes, But the thing is, you have to remember the
loudest person is usually the person with the most silent struggles.

Speaker 1 (21:49):
So look at that now. I think we've seen that
in like the last episode, Doctor Heavenly really broke down,
Like we just see everybody's dealing with so much, and
sometimes they don't know what the other person is dealing with, no,
because everybody tries to act so.

Speaker 4 (22:03):
Strong, literally like you don't know what the other person is,
what they have filmed, or what scene they have on
their personal story. And so when we're all coming together.
You're just like, okay, and then when you're watching it.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
You're like, I don't know that what's going on?

Speaker 3 (22:17):
You know?

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yes, I want to ask differently. I'm so sorry, and.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
That's but it's like we don't know what anybody has
going on, you know. Sorry. Has anybody ever tried to
get you on the show. No one ever tried to
be like, yo, come be you know transparents.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
I can tell you this.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
I had been offered a role. I was offered.

Speaker 5 (22:41):
I was supposed I was I was supposed were offered
to play the boyfriend of a.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Of an actress, your actress. If you're on the show, I.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Can see you would be Reality Love.

Speaker 5 (22:58):
And hip Hop office for the first up and hip hop,
the first original level hip Okay.

Speaker 3 (23:03):
I had offers for what was it? I think it
was l A Housewives, the.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Original okay, the way the Real Housewives.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Real Housewives of l A.

Speaker 6 (23:14):
No, that would make up real housewives wasn't.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
In l A hip Hop it was it was. It
was one of those county there was an l A.
There was an l A show with wives some times.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Of sometimes wid you consider it.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
No, I just anything where I can't control the narrative.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, okay, that's exactly what really is.

Speaker 5 (23:43):
Like any thing is, it's just like you know, for me,
it's it's like you know, for for some common senses
in common for me anything, I can't control the narrative.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
I just, I just I was kind to stay away
from it.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
I don't feel like, while you're really great at talking,
you're also you got a little mysterious about you.

Speaker 5 (24:01):
Yeah, I mean, and that's that, and that's an old
schoolness to that, Like you know what I mean, where
like you know, artists, is that you know, if you
study the greats like they didn't just give it all away,
you know what I'm saying, Like, you know, you have
to you have to create some mistique, you know what
I mean. In the world of like social media even now,
I mean, like you can you can literally give it
all away and then there's nothing exciting to to to enjoy.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
You got to leave something for the imagination.

Speaker 6 (24:25):
And that's exactly what's lost these days when it comes
to the industry, I think and anybody, Yeah, there's no
figuring it out.

Speaker 5 (24:36):
There's like you know, I'm like, you know, coming from
humble beginnings and jumping off the porch and all the
things you know, you protected, things you love, you know
what I mean, especially especially if you're in the streets
like you, you ain't on social media showing every so
if you look at like how to, how to, how
the wiis and the youths, you can you can literally
go to an Instagram page and social media Facebook and

(24:58):
put the whole case together.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
They have and they will. Because sometimes it's a balance too,
because I'm like, I'm so bad really at social media.
I feel like it's all about like work, and sometimes
I'm like, I want to be better at doing things right.
Is that like a struggle to to be to want
to give more because it makes it more Sometimes it
makes things more relatable, like when you give more and

(25:22):
people know what you're going through and they're like, oh,
that's what.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
I've warmed up to. It. It comes with the territory
of the job of doing.

Speaker 5 (25:30):
You have to do a rollout, you have to let
people know, you have to do marketing, you have to
do promotion, you have to let let people know what's coming. Right,
But you don't have to give everybody every aspect of
your life good, better and.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
Different, because you know we're already under magnified, like what's
left for you?

Speaker 5 (25:49):
Like, and I think everybody on these couches can relate that,
you know, at one at one time or another. Being
a public figure it has challenges, you know what I mean,
And it can affect your mental health. So there's nothing
wrong with you saying taking accountability of saying like like hey,
like I'm not going to show everything, or or I

(26:09):
take a break from this when I need to, you
know what I mean, Or I control what I want
people to see, you know, because everybody ain't.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
Here to love you or like you.

Speaker 5 (26:20):
You know, but but you know, and like you said,
you know, opinions of like assholes everybody got.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
And sometimes they're shitty.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Yeah, but we had to make My husband and I
had to make a decision what we wanted to share,
and we wanted to We made a conscious decision to
share our family dynamic and so just we ously, yes,
we have a son that has special needs and has autism,
and we're just like, hey, we know the struggles, like
we know it can get it can get heavy. And

(26:47):
just the outpouring of fans and just supporters of like
thank you for showing my type of family and allowing
me to be seen. I'm like, okay, this is why
I did this, Like.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
You know how many people I know who have autistic children?
So many people and like what they go through and
so it is amazing.

Speaker 4 (27:06):
And we didn't share with close friends and family until
Stevie was five that he had this diagnosis because we're
just trying to figure out, Okay, how do we navigate this?
And then how do we communicate this because there's such
like so much unknown and we are constantly learning our
child and learning like, okay, what are his gifts?

Speaker 2 (27:25):
How do we cultivate that? What do we do?

Speaker 4 (27:26):
Okay, what services we need? But just choosing to show
that it was tough and every time I do talk
about it get emotional, but I'm just like, okay.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
This is what I was.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
So is that you feel like that's the support right there?

Speaker 4 (27:38):
Absolutely forget Yes, yes it's the drama gonna be there, okay,
but just yes, showcase like what this looks like and
if this is going to help one family, I didn't,
this is good.

Speaker 3 (27:50):
I love that nothing for me.

Speaker 5 (27:52):
I think for me it was it was like the
Bravey'll be able to talk about like my dad and
the mental health aspect or like you know, and you know,
from being down on Congress and lobbying about mental health
and mental health awareness, right, and then you realize when
people pull you to the side, like how one degree separation,

(28:14):
you know, or how common it is for someone to say, well, hey,
my partner, my child, my parent too as well, you know,
has has been going through a crisis, like what what
you know, what what medication was on? Or like you
know what I mean, one of the dopest things for
my dad even you know, I wish they had had

(28:35):
it years ago, but I was I was able to
convince him to get on the shot, being able to
take a uh you know, appeal every day.

Speaker 1 (28:43):
You know, I didn't even know about that.

Speaker 5 (28:44):
Yes they have you know, they have a shot, and
you would take you you know, so you go get
the shot.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
Once a month every three months. You don't have to
worry about everything.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (28:53):
So that's way easier than every day.

Speaker 5 (28:55):
Yeah, you know, but it's just you know, so so
so to be able to to share that, you know,
it's not here anymore, you know, So so I didn't know,
but I still was kind of like on the fence,
like man, that's his business.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yeah, because sometimes we want to protect like our family too.
I think about that all the time.

Speaker 5 (29:11):
But again, when you talk about mental health in particular
and then really getting an understanding for it and a
movement that's happening out there as it relates to mental
health right now, it's so important because you know we're
talking about from the streets to the pole pit. You
can't it's not something you can.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Just pray away.

Speaker 5 (29:32):
Some of these things require medications. Some of these things
required therapy and outside help.

Speaker 4 (29:38):
And just talking about it like you're breaking that particular stigma,
and especially in today's climate where like funding for mental
health is being reduced, like people don't know, you don't
there's like a nine to eighty eight hotline that you
can call that's for mental health crisis. You don't have
to call nine one one. You can call nine eight
eight and get someone to your home to do an

(29:59):
assessment if that is necessary.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Sometimes people are scared to call the police.

Speaker 5 (30:04):
Yes, yes, if you if you feel like it's a
mental health situation, yes, you know, get.

Speaker 4 (30:11):
A alternative to nine one one, right.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
You know I was saying this the other day, but
you know, my brother died a couple of months ago
from a brain aneurysm, and I was in the airport.
I had talked about it just on the air, like
the symptoms he had, and this guy stopped me in
the lounge and he was like, can I talk to
you for a second. He was like, you know, you
saved my brother's life because you talked about that on
the radio and my brother had a really bad headache

(30:35):
and I told him go to the doctor. It was
all the same things that you said your brother had experienced,
and he had an aneurysm and it saved his life
because I was listening to you on the radio and
then a couple of weeks later that happened. And I
do think sometimes that talking about things, you know, that
is something that is going to help.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Somebody else in the future.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
So I was like, that's so crazy. He was like,
I never thought I would see you in person, but
I just want to tell you thank you. You know
this story about what I got to ask you this.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
Here, let's get.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
Because you did say you old school about certain things, right,
So what about when is the time to come out there,
like you know, as a couple or you know, something
like that that.

Speaker 5 (31:25):
I think for me, Yeah, I think probably like like
I would probably say, like maybe if you've popped the question.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Or or you know, have you ever to anybody?

Speaker 3 (31:38):
I have not.

Speaker 5 (31:39):
I've been on the fence about proposing to someone once
upon a time and then I like prayed about it
and asked God for like confirmation and then I and
then I did probably the worst thing ever, went to
go go look for something.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
And I found what I was looking for.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
Well, you know what they say when you go look,
So what did you find? I gotta know because you're
not saying who it is?

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Messages?

Speaker 1 (32:09):
Was it pictures? Was it okay, Yeah, you're better than that.
But is that something that is like a goal of
yours are important to you or could.

Speaker 5 (32:21):
You just I think I just I just think that's
a different world outside of like my world, Like you
know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
Like I just had to tell somebody close to me.
We seem like.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
They they I think they feel like I don't support
them enough through social media, like you know what I
mean in terms of like like that their business owner.
And my thing is like I do, I do what
I can do, but but but the reality is I
support you in real life, which matters even more.

Speaker 3 (32:47):
You know, I love you in real life. I support
you in real life.

Speaker 5 (32:51):
There's nothing that you know, no matter what we've been through,
what stage we are right now in our life, in
our lives, it's nothing you could never not call me
for if in my power, if I can do it,
I'm not. And I feel like that. You know I've
been in some situations. I feel like you've been there
for me in that space, you know what I mean.
So because the day that happens, but it ight up
like yeah, you know that the you know, the internet

(33:14):
could crash tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (33:15):
You know, everything is you.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Know, but I still.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Got your back.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
The real relationships, it's gonna be there.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah about that real life, Well that's your boundary though.
You just had a like, I support you in real life, okay.

Speaker 5 (33:29):
I like age, knowledge, experience and growth and you know
what I mean, understanding things that we didn't understand twenty
years ago, twenty five years ago, you know either, you know,
I would.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Love a woman to do like a response on to
twenty Lessons of Love, and one of them got to
be like you gotta post me you know what?

Speaker 3 (33:47):
Who would be? The who would be? The who would
who would.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Who would do the response. Yeah, he says, it would
be a good response. You know what else would be good?

Speaker 6 (33:56):
Though?

Speaker 1 (33:56):
No, lie, because she's funny Walker.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
I was about to say that in the summer.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yes, I can see Erica to be posted, to be
posted like it is that. Don't post me.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
I'm not taking.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Complicated over there.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
I mean, if you're in a committed relationship.

Speaker 6 (34:20):
I was just in the one year and some change
long relationship and he posted me a lot, and then
when it was over, I was like, delete all that ship.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah it's done. I wonder, how did you know that
Steve was the one for you.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
I'm okay. Here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
So the first time Steve and I liked spent a
time together, he told me that he wrote in his
journal He's gonna kill me.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
He wrote in his journal, like I think I found
my wife.

Speaker 4 (34:52):
I found her, and I'm just like okay, and I
have my issues idea.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Like I'm like, okay, I'm this young doctor.

Speaker 4 (34:57):
I'm feeling myself okay, and I yes, I got the people,
but he people.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
I want the people. I can get the people people,
but like this guy, like.

Speaker 4 (35:09):
He he told me that he wrote in this journal,
but I had never met a man like this, Like
this man was god fearing, he was like attractive and
I'm just like and he was you know, just I
like a guy with range. I can take you anywhere
and we're gonna still, we're gonna blend in, we're gonna
do the things. And I'm just like he got it
all together. And you know, you be a little scared. Okay,
what's wrong, Yes, what's wrong?

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Because that's no.

Speaker 4 (35:32):
It was just like, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna be
all in this thing. And so I haven't looked back,
like this is I'm blessed.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, no, that's amazing because it feels like when you
watch the show, you can see, yes, your man does.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
Not play about me.

Speaker 4 (35:45):
He is like he's when when a woman is saying
that she wants to feel safe, like that is what
I feel like, Like I feel protected.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
I feel like I can just.

Speaker 4 (35:55):
When I when I walk in the room and he's
there like he don't see nobody else, right, and I'm
just like, oh my gosh. And then like the way
that he boosts me up and hiked me up, I'm
like I can do anything, so like yes, so beautiful things.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
See what I'm saying he's like, yeah, to learn my lessons.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
Now, talk to me about this partnership that you have
because you're putting out this project. It is quiet Storm.

Speaker 5 (36:25):
Oh the quad Storm Lover Volume one, which is my
most recent project, slided.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
To drop by the way, first R and B so
artists to do mixtapes period.

Speaker 5 (36:35):
Yeah, I was the first R and B sorry to
do the mixsage Jack the beats, you know that was
that was it was like a fusion for me.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
List album to lis it a poetry. That's my joint
right there.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Preach preach.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (36:48):
So so so for those first of all, to talk
about the title Quia Storm Lover Volume one. For the
last year and some change, now, I've had the number
one nighttime music show in the d m V area.
I grew up, grew up listening to to w h
U R ninety six point three w h U R
and listening to Melvin Lindsay the Quiet on like that

(37:08):
was just like a thing in my household or in
the red Fiat with my mother. So I went from being,
you know, from listening to now being the guy in
the hot seat every night, you know, giving love language
tips and and uh and just connecting with community in
a different way. I'm sure you know from doing you know,
being in radio and media for decades, right that it

(37:32):
connects you a different way, you know than.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
Being an artist. You know.

Speaker 5 (37:36):
Uh and uh so I wanted to. I felt this
is a perfect opportunity to fuse the two. I'm hoping
to be syndicated at some point, you know what I
mean that that that that is a bucket list goal
for me. But in right now, I'm enjoying, you know,
being at h u R. I'm and enjoining my h
u R family, my extended XM series XM family, and

(37:57):
I wanted to do a fusion so when I'm not
gonna give it away, when we listen to the project,
which drops, by the way, on February thirteenth, ex exclusively
on even do biz, which is a directed consumer platform,
so you know, CDs.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
Are back, Get a CD player, these are back. Finally,
get a Vinyl never.

Speaker 6 (38:18):
Left my car still got a TD player where they
came with a CD player. I never put a CD
in it, but like a year in I was like is.

Speaker 5 (38:28):
And you know, Vinyl never left in cassettes, you know,
for those that just want fly memorabilia, you know, we're
gonna have cassettes too. All of these things will be
provided as well, as you know for my top tier
supporters over even if there's four price points of how
you can support for my top tier supporters, though, not
only do you get Quiet Storm Lever Value one, you

(38:49):
get a whole nother secret album.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
Oh wow, that unlocks for you that you can enjoy.

Speaker 5 (38:55):
And uh, you know, platform runs just like you know
Apple Music or Title or any of your streaming platforms.
But but but but it's exclusive where the fan can
only listen to the music.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
Uh there, you know.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
So so for people that are super like, if you're
just want to support be a fan, go to even
die biz because that is direct to consumer.

Speaker 5 (39:13):
Like you said, and me, I studied, I studied the culture.
I studied, So I started using even three years ago.
It's not my first release over there. I started using
a platform because of an artist, Lar Russell. We just
did this, you know, just signed with rock Nation last
week and just performed on the super Bowl.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
So I've been watching.

Speaker 5 (39:32):
I've been an early Larrussell fan, but watching, you know,
been able to take tips from what he's done right
as a as a as an emerging artist and you know,
and apply it to my to my career as an
independent artist. He was the top selling artists over there
at the time at even you know, he was a
case study artist, right and I'm a top selling R
and B artists over there right now, you know, in

(39:53):
terms in terms of like you know, independent music, and
it wouldn't be without the fans. So you know, I
can't I can't sell these can't sell music without somebody
purchasing it, you know what I mean. So for all
my directed consumer you know, supporters and music levers that
support brand Raheem Devine all of these years. You know,
let's make a bold statement. And I'm only looking I'm

(40:14):
only looking for a thousand people to support the first
week right here.

Speaker 3 (40:21):
I'm cool. I'm with that.

Speaker 5 (40:22):
You know, they'll be, they'll be. There'll be a full
release on March six. You know, we'll be available everywhere
excluding Spotify. You know, I have my own reasons for
not you know, using Spotify. It doesn't my moral compass.
You know, they've been running ice ads, you know, so
yeah so yeah, yeah, so so so for me, and

(40:45):
we've already been getting robbed anyway.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
You know, uh, you know.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
It might be the lowest payouts.

Speaker 5 (40:50):
Yeah, you know what I mean, so so so so
I haven't been uploading any of my you know, all
my future music.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
That's just you know, I'm like leaving the stuff. Lot
of five things.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
Okay, we're with it. We got to support you and
that's a great education, you know, because sometimes we don't.
If you don't know better, you can't do better.

Speaker 5 (41:08):
But it's all slow jims, you know what I mean.
There's no there's no up tempos on this record.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
I love it, and it's right before Valentine. That's why
you get it.

Speaker 5 (41:18):
You're right, get right, get right. But any night can
be Valentine's night.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
You better tell.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Let me ask what did y'all think about Bad Bunny
during the super Bowl since we haven't.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
I think it was amazing.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yes, I think it's vibes. That's the thing. I didn't
have to understand what was going like, it's vibe. This
is culture.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
That's the thing about music too, because I feel like
music is a unifying language. Yes, because you know, I
used to work for Wu Tang back in the day,
and they would performing Japan, they would perform internationally. You
know those people, they weren't speaking English, but they were
at the concept turn it up like sold out shows.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
I'll say this. You know, when when the vibration of
love is in the music and in the frequency, you
can feel language. Know, the language doesn't matter because.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
We know how you perform.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
Yeah, yeah, you can feel it.

Speaker 5 (42:07):
You know, you know it'll make you feel a way,
you know what I mean, like like like it's supposed
to you know, so shout out to you know, bad
money for using his superpowers for good.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Have you ever been with a woman who couldn't speak English?

Speaker 6 (42:20):
Yeah, that must have been some good communication.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
A lot of non verbals, nonverbal, a lot of non verbal.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
It's like, yeah, communication are universal. Yeah right here, Yeah
that's amazing. Yeah right there, it worked out for you.

(42:56):
I love that for you. Now you know we're talking
about Oh I got your lessons.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Yes, apologize quickly and get what you want. I mean,
you have to be attracted, you have.

Speaker 5 (43:06):
To be accountability ability that when you said, I think
accountability comes to mind.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
Effort, I think, and compromise.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yes, yes, so it doesn't have to be black and white.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
We can agree to disagree, we can we can work
in that gray area for sure.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
And sometimes that gray area is kind of where we
need to be in the first place.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
Hygiene yea great areas of dangerous soap and water hiding. Yes. Yes,
don't get into bed after being outside all day without
taking a shower, you know, don't you hop off that stage?

Speaker 3 (43:40):
Was your wash your shack.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Wash you yes, off the stage and be like okay.

Speaker 7 (43:57):
No, we've got to hop anow no sugar, yes, and
losing those feet okay, yes.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
You know. I remember when I was younger, this guy
I was talking to, he tried to like, just come
from off the street and getting a bit. You want
to go get in the showers.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
You got outside on you yourself.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
I feel like guys aren't as concerned about hygiene as women.
I don't know really really like as far as because
y'all would put on like the same jeans three days
in a row.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
And they will wear the same tracksuit.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah yeah, And then you guys would do stuff like
take a ship and then come getting a bed.

Speaker 6 (44:38):
No, no, you know, we need no, I never I've never.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
Wipe it off.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
No, we need to get in the shower.

Speaker 3 (44:51):
The water on behalf of them men who were so
wives hit that y'all with some peppermint so speak for themselves.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
I mean we talked about lessons. What do you think
are some things that are overrated in the bedroom If
you have to say something that's overrated, like will people
be asking like this all that? But I could do without.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
It, I don't think.

Speaker 5 (45:18):
I think when it comes to the bedroom, you're talking
about intimacy, I think whatever, whatever, you know, whatever you
figure like you and your partner is into, Like, I
don't think anything should be overrated. I think that, but
I think that you know, when it comes to intimacy, though,
you have you have two different types of you have
two different types of of of lovers.

Speaker 3 (45:39):
You have givers and takers.

Speaker 5 (45:40):
So you have somebody that's there to basically more so
receive or may not be ready to put that put
the put the effort in.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (45:47):
I think that's what kind of like with a term
two minute brother, you know, probably kind of you know,
or they're just trying to get theirs off, you know
what I mean? Like you know, and then you have it,
but then you have the type of partner is there
to get you off.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Which one of you who me, he's definitely pleasing.

Speaker 5 (46:07):
You know heard them, you know, but they don't get
a marathon. Yeah, I mean, I'm not everybody don't deserve
a marathon either. You have to you have to make
sure that you have to make sure now that's the thing,
understanding who you are, and that everybody is not deserving
of you, like you know what I mean too, And
that's something.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Why you're there in the first place, marathon.

Speaker 5 (46:30):
What I'm saying is being able to read the room.
Like when you get older, you get you know how
to read.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
The room so you can look, you can you can
look admire and know that.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
That's not it right, you know what I'm saying. How
do you think it's different for you, like sexually, from
when you were say, ten years ago to where you
are now as far as because you know, we're talking
about read the room. Everybody doesn't deserve that. And I
think sometimes when you're younger, you make decisions that maybe
now ten years later you're like, I'm not wasting my time.

Speaker 5 (47:00):
Yeah, I mean, because ultimately, you know, it's a lot
of stuff out here we don't want, right, bigoted, and
and then and then aside from that, you know, so
so you know, so there's a sexual health factor.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
Right.

Speaker 5 (47:14):
But but but then but then that you know, things
can happen, things can happen. You can, you know you can,
you can pro create, you know what I mean? Like
you know, it's about what you're seeking for in that partnership,
somebody that that maybe you can not only love, but
do business with, and you know, you can support their
business and invest in them and they can invest in you.

(47:34):
And you know, I think, but I think the biggest
investment is time. And when you get older, you realize it,
you know, like me, I value time differently than I
ever had. Absolutely know, I understand. I understand the three
you know, the three grade. You know, I got a
book I've been working on and you know it's it's
still be coming out. And one of the things I
talk about, you know, the three greatest gifts that I
feel like the Creator gave us is the gift of time,

(47:56):
right to gift, the decision and free will, you know,
and the gift of wanting another. When you talk about
the gift of time, right from the time we were
all born, we went out of time.

Speaker 3 (48:04):
And the older you get.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
You can't get it back.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
You can, you know, I can't get that back.

Speaker 5 (48:08):
Value you know what I mean, so so so, and
then when you realize when you're not in the situation
and the more that you waste it, you feel like
you may have wasted time and that in that one space,
in that area, then then you got to be able
to you gotta be able to go within evaluate and say, okay.

Speaker 3 (48:25):
Well, where where the where was where? Where? Where?

Speaker 5 (48:28):
Where was our flawed or what what lesson am I
going to learn out of this right? Or what steps
that I don't repeat those steps again?

Speaker 3 (48:35):
You know? And that's why and that and that's and
that's where.

Speaker 5 (48:40):
Because you mentioned great areas earlier, and twenty twenty five
was like great area territory for me, you know what
I'm saying, So like and gray areas can be can
be can be dangerous. If y'all not on the same page,
y'all might think y'all on the same page, you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
So you know, for me, I think the blunt, blunt, raw,
real conversations are important.

Speaker 5 (49:05):
They're way more important than kind of living in the
great area of living in the in the in the
fairy tale that we can all live in. Because you
know what I'm saying, Sometimes that that that can it
can create a security blanket, or it can create you know,
it's like, you know, people get mad when I don't
fairy tales don't exist to me, you know what I'm saying,

(49:27):
Like like, but.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
Then when you see adapt to me, that feels like a.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Fair no no with my husband and I No.

Speaker 5 (49:35):
I'm not let I want to misconstrue what I'm saying
when I say, like, yeah, her version of the fairy tale.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
Yeah, but I'm sure that there's things that they Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
So here's the thing, you know, to her, we.

Speaker 4 (49:49):
Had to do our work because and I can honestly
say like.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
In the first years of the marriage, I was the problem.

Speaker 4 (49:58):
I had to check myself and say, Okay, you know what,
you're not coming here emotionally whole. You're not doing your work.
Your own marital therapist told you, no, you need to
come see me personally.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Like me a psychiatry. Right.

Speaker 4 (50:12):
No, but no, I really I really did not know
myself until I got into a committed relationship. Because now
we I'm like, I'm really getting to see myself. I'm
mirroring like, oh, I don't like that person and she
talks to you like that. That's that's that's not cool.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
I feel like it would be had to be married
to a psychiatrists.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Well, you have to ask people, but.

Speaker 5 (50:35):
I didn't want to take over ahead of you. I
was like, I wonder what like when she was talking
about the show, right, and if some of the pushback
she gets is it because they feel like you can
kind of see through them wells speaking to the soul.

Speaker 4 (50:51):
I can say the same like someone else can say
the same thing that I'm saying. But because I am
a psychiatrist, what I'm saying holds weight, and people think
I'm psychoanalyzing.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
I'm not because first of all, that costs money. Okay,
So I'm.

Speaker 4 (51:05):
Gonna give you assessment and a treatment plan and am
sending you an invoice. So I'm not doing that. But
I am like, I'm a true girlfriend.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
So if I see that you, hey, you out of line,
I'm gonna hold you accountable.

Speaker 4 (51:15):
And the same thing with my in my marriage, my
husband holds me accountable and I'm able to receive it
from him because we have done the work. So I
have gone to therapy and shout out to my therapist
that I go every two weeks, shout out to doctor
Houston and doctor Certaine. I have to make sure that
I am straight, because if I'm not, I can't show
up the way that I want to show up in
my marriage as a mom, as a psychiatrist.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Do you know how much stuff that I hear every day?
Like how am I?

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (51:40):
I have to decompress somehow and be whole in order
to give out the way that I do. But like
Steve and I, we done. We I had to do
my work and I wrote a book about it. I
wrote a book about like my first two chapters of
my book was my journal, Like, girl, you get yourself together,
you know, you can be out here like wild in
like this in terms of talking to people, just being

(52:00):
so emotionally immature and so just going through the process
getting married starting when I graduated from med school and
I became a doctor, like that was the last dream
that I had.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
Like Okay, what do we do now?

Speaker 4 (52:15):
And so okay, no, you need to sit down, go
to this coffee shop, get your journal out, and figure
out who you are. And so we're talking about intimacy,
like okay, what is that first part? You need to
be intimate with yourself? Who are you looking your inner me?
And now I can show up in a marriage and
show up for him in the way that he needs me.
And then we haven't even got to kids. Like, well,

(52:38):
I got married at thirty.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
I don't think that's what that's young.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
I guess in today's days.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
That's that's young.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
Yeah, okay, but you found your person pretty early, like
because you dated before that in your twins.

Speaker 4 (52:49):
Yes, but it was like you, I did take a
risk in terms of like, Okay, I'm opening up my heart.
I'm also at that time not where I needed to
be emotionally, but I'm still able and willing to give love.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Sometimes when we have been hurt.

Speaker 4 (53:07):
So much and we have not processed that, we come
into relationship with a heart and heart and not even
knowing about it. And so when I'm when I married.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
My husband, like I was just blessed that he was
he was a person willing to do his work too.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
That's amazing. Yeah, because as a professional athlete.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
Right, you would not think at all, but like just
for him to be so like psychologically minded, like I am,
like yes, like yes, brothers, like get you get in
therapy figure out like, Okay, what have I been holding
on to that I that does not serve me, and
I'm able to show up in this relationship and just

(53:46):
give all that I can to the person that deserves it.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
What do you think you've been holding on to when
it comes to relationships and commit I kind of.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
Like looked up.

Speaker 5 (53:56):
And and and one day and was like, wow, most
of my adult life, especially the part just was was
connected to like the public figure and being like raheem devon.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
That I have.

Speaker 5 (54:14):
Been supportive of everyone else like like like like what
was like left for like for like for like.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
For me, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (54:24):
So, so you know, I made decisions in the last
three four years to just like be probably as selfish
as I've ever been in my life as it relates
to like what I want, what I feel like works
best for me, whether that you know, from a from

(54:44):
a workspace, whether that means you know, with the working
environment changing or who I work with, you know, is
it relates to business, whether that's matters of the heart,
whether that's a new hobby or new goal or new
dream career path radio that I want to pursue, and
being able to like really like be real and.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
Honest with myself about how much time that leaves for
for other.

Speaker 5 (55:06):
Things that I may have to put on the back
burner or not not to say that they matter any less,
you know what I mean. But you know that it
is time for me to for Rahen to do to
you know, there's there's still yet another level of of
of success and goals and things that I want, you know,

(55:29):
I feel I feel like I've done a great job
of like trying to protect my spirituality and more moral
compass for this ship, you know what I mean. And
I know I'm deserving of things that I will have,
you know, but but I also understand linement and timing
and sometimes and a lot of times a lot of
the stuff that I probably hadn't had or people like well,

(55:50):
oh you know, you're you should you deserve to be here,
that I probably was about the fact that the people
I had around me that didn't need to be going
with me.

Speaker 6 (55:59):
That part don't have it, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (56:02):
And that's not a shot at anybody, you know what
I mean. It's just the reality of like that everybody
can't go and sometimes you gotta go by yourself.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
That's one of them. Walk people with you as bad
as you do.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Sometimes sometimes you gotta walk through that door by yourself.

Speaker 5 (56:19):
And then and then sometimes you gotta be able to
and when you're walking in to be like, oh you
know what, Yeah, this ain't the room I need to
be in. So I mean just hit that three sixty
you know what I mean? You got reading reading the
room sixty Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, like yeah,
we ain't doing that three sixty deal, you know, but
read read reading and reading the room is a is

(56:40):
a you know, that's a that's a real thing, you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
That's like, you know, that's on all levels. You know.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
Where where do you see when you when you're talking
about walking into rooms? You know? New project on the way.

Speaker 5 (56:54):
Another tour, absolutely, yeah, absolutely, the Strategic Partnership.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
Yeah, another year.

Speaker 5 (56:59):
That's actually a tour being announced tomorrow. I can't say
with who it is.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
I'm gonna love this when you know what, when this
comes out? When is this drop?

Speaker 1 (57:11):
When is this next week? Yeah? Next week?

Speaker 3 (57:14):
Oh I can say, yeah, all right, So I'm going
on tour with Floor Tree.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
Oh wow, back together as together, my girl, my girl,
Marsha and Natalie, And I'm so excited about it.

Speaker 5 (57:30):
Listen, I'm so excited about it because I never had
a chance to ask them this, and I've been around
them numerous times individually. I've been on the last couple
of albums that Natalie did, Marsha, That's My Girl we did.
We did the Love Jones tour together, you know, and
various things that we've done, you know, she she hopped
on mixtapes for me and just you know whatnot. But

(57:50):
I think I had the last I think I was
with them in the studio when the last time that
they were together in the studio we were in New
York in fact and record we recorded marathons, you know
what I mean. So so I'm excited. I love them,
I love what they stand for.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
And did you never get to ask them?

Speaker 3 (58:05):
Well what I was just.

Speaker 5 (58:06):
I feel like that was the last time that, you know,
I feel like right after that, whatever happened happened.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
I believe I'm happy.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (58:14):
So so we're going on the road, you know what
I mean. So it's it's just it's to say yes tour,
you know what I'm saying. I'm going as a supporting
a shouting and shout the teacher Moses because she'll be
joining us as well. Tea floor Tree you know they've
been outside. That's a tour, you know what I'm saying.
And and and then with the resurgence of of course,
like my you know, I dropped. I dropped three four

(58:35):
projects a year, if that's what I want to do, right,
But Jill just coming out after ten years, you know,
I know a word on the street is music in
the studio music solis and studient real heavy right now.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
You know you see what blud just you know the tribute,
you know what I mean? Like so yeah, man, so
it's a resurgence of like you know that.

Speaker 5 (59:02):
You know, be mad at me whatever whatever, Right, I
still feel like, you know, the nineties and the two
thousands some of the best time for the R and B.
Like and if you if you're chasing, if you're chasing
the bar or the you know, of course the seventies
is what it was, you know, if it's if it's
anywhere I could have been, you know, jumping the time machine.
See see yeah, and see what that what that was like?

(59:24):
But like, yeah, the two thousands in the nineties, like
I mean.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
That's why you see so many people sampling from them
that that's down to.

Speaker 5 (59:29):
There would be no there would be no quiet storm
slow jams. Half of the stuff we play, you know
what I mean That I play you know, Monday through Friday,
and on the weekend, it wouldn't be there accessible, you
know what I mean. So it's it's uh, yeah, I'm
excited about the tour, you know, performing this new music.
And when you say like what what like what do

(59:53):
I see this next? I mean definitely more partnerships.

Speaker 3 (59:57):
You know.

Speaker 5 (59:57):
For the last two years, I've worked with Gilead Sciences,
you know, for awareness, yeah, HIV awareness, Yeah, HIV awareness.
Conversations about prep and if it's for you, and talking
to your primary care doctor about prepping, knowing what it is.
If I talk to find out about prep, you know
what I mean, Like, you know, I'm not you know,

(01:00:18):
I get I will probably be on PREP until I
get married, if I ever get married.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (01:00:23):
I'm just saying, like, like talking to my primary care doctor,
doctor Hodge, was like, that's how I found out about it.
He strongly suggested it I try, you know what I mean,
and I you know, to have that actually protection you know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:35):
Feel comfortable ye not for sure in the morning and
be like.

Speaker 5 (01:00:40):
For sure and it's not a great and it's not
a green light. It's not a green light that Israel Doggie.
You know what I mean because you're on prep right.
So but you know it's it's probably would have been
one of the most foodful partnerships that I've had, you know, uh,
you know my connecting, you know with my Love Life Foundation,
which we and it you know established his twenty twelve

(01:01:01):
and you know so so you know, being a health
advocate is something that that I you know, I'm proud of,
you know, fighting domestic violence and having you know, another
initiative and.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
Anytime you feel like you're in a situation where you
want to hit somebody, get out.

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
Yes, nothing right, just leave.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
I'm telling everybody that I run there. If you feel
like you want to put hands on somebody, check yourself
and get out of there.

Speaker 6 (01:01:28):
Advice and know that if you don't want to make them,
find a way out. Yeah, that's never a good thing.
It does not equally love.

Speaker 5 (01:01:35):
So I want to do more partnerships. I want to
do things that are meaningful. You know, I see myself
if I could, if I could ever a crystal ball
and say what I see for myself, it would be syndication.
You know, I see it. You know I'm going to
continue to make those records that I want to.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
I want to.

Speaker 5 (01:01:50):
I want to bring the slow, the slow dancing back
then in the basement, the red light specials, that vibe,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Like I feel like you did like an annual you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
Look all that. But what I need is one of
these casinos.

Speaker 5 (01:02:06):
What we need is the MD because I want you know,
I want to do I would love to do a
casino residency.

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
You know, I think it's all alignment. Is Tiny's time.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Yeah, you know what I mean, right, you know how
much fun that would be?

Speaker 5 (01:02:19):
I think I think you know, I'm a big fan
of Charlie Wilson. I think he's kind of like set
the set, the set, the mark, you know, he kind of.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
The script is already there, you know what I mean,
Like I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:35):
Now do to me me. I can't remember who said
it when they were asking about you being on the
show and they were like, I don't know about her,
but her husband could stay.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Oh my goodness. Yes, the people have a lot to say.

Speaker 4 (01:02:46):
Okay, you just have I just know that how I
show up and I show I show up with confidence.
Sometimes confidence is going to irritate insecurities.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
So whoever is saying you know, hey, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
She may not be good for the show, it's because
that's your insecurity is talking.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
And so that has nothing to do with me.

Speaker 4 (01:03:06):
I'm going to show up and the people are liking
me and solo, yes, tell me more.

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
That's that thing, Like and I did it for I
used to. I used to. I used to purposely them
my life and no I'm days old over like, no.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
This is who I am, and this is who you get.

Speaker 4 (01:03:25):
I'm authentic and why why would I did my life?

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
You crazy?

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
It could be we can yeah, we could be.

Speaker 5 (01:03:33):
We can be you know uh self sabotaging a lot
of ways to ourselves being conscient thinking like you know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
So I would never do my light. I just encourage
others come because put.

Speaker 4 (01:03:49):
Here's the thing, like even before the show show up
this way, like and I and this is not arrogance,
but I it is not. But like I've always been
her and I'm always going to continue to be her
and forever will be her.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
So I Am not going to dim my life. This
is just who I am.

Speaker 4 (01:04:09):
I got I have a great career, got a great family.
I got a good husband. I mean, if you was
a hater, I would hate on you. I will hate
on me too, but that's just I mean, keep telling
on yourself, okay, keep telling.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
On yourself that you have insecurities. Just keep telling yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
But so season thirteen, you'll be back absolutely, Okay, I'll
say it, yes, yes, yes, yes, no question. Well then
you both for joining us. This was really fun. I
enjoyed it. Gotta come back, and I'm so like, I
love these announcements. I love the good news for you.
Say yes, who do we gotta contact at the MGM

(01:04:47):
to get this done?

Speaker 5 (01:04:49):
We won't figure out everything's about tim and an alignment,
you know what I mean. Thank you again for having
me on the platform. And of course you know it's
not a platform without the viewership.

Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
So thank y'all.

Speaker 5 (01:05:00):
You know, support, continue to support the podcast, continue to
support UH direct to consumer Energy, you know what I mean, Like,
this is a director, this is direct to consumer energy.

Speaker 3 (01:05:10):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
You see the couches, see.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
The couches, you know, you know the vibes, you know
what's going on. I had to go ahead and just
make the song. I'm go go ahead, and put put
that on the massive Look.

Speaker 6 (01:05:24):
It's a long time, that's my that's my Eliot to
cool a jump.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you both here.
This is really fun and I think it was also
great information for people who are listening. So this is
really dope.

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
Let's Service