LS Episode 554: Vegas Vows & Sugar Daddies (feat. Elsa Jean)

Elsa Jean joins Lip Service to talk about her wild dating history, Vegas weddings, sugar daddies, celebrity relationships, stalking experiences, OnlyFans money, therapy, heartbreak, and surviving toxic love. She also opens up about growing up Mennonite, working in the adult industry, fertility struggles, and why she still believes in marriage.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What's up this lip service? I'm Angela Yee, I'm G. G.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Maguire, I'm Jordie Jor, I'm.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Sapphire Sapphire aka Elsa Jean.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Yeah, I've had a few names.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Yeah, what are the names?

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Just as Gene Okayeah, and then I was a stripper
once and I went by Sugar, but that doesn't count. Nobody.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Nobody knows your sugar.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
I wonder if anybody remembers you from them, like, oh yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Me and my sister were just talking about because she
was my like roadie then and so a couple of
people bring it up to her.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Right, it's just the old Seriously, it's older than you.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
I do have an older sister, air and younger.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Okay, yeah, the Roady was your younger sister at times
both okay. Yeah, well listen, I want to say a
lot of people are familiar with you. When I was like, oh,
people always ask who do you have on lip service tonight?
And I was like Sapphire aka Elsa Jeen And They're like,
I'm very familiar.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Good period.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Whatever you're going to do, you got to be the
best at it exactly. But let's dig into it because
I want to start this off by saying that you
do have new music out, and so this is something different.
This is actually a debut song for you. How does
that feel really good?

Speaker 3 (01:17):
I like to give the fans like a.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Is that the song? Is it really? I don't know
why that just happened. That was a sign that.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah, no, I have I like to. I wanted to
give my fans like a variety of stuff that I
can do or try to do. You know. I feel like,
as like an entertainer, I got to be part of
like every industry to you know, be successful, and I
wanted to give them a versatility.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, a friends majority. So I want you to talk
about like how you guys know.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
I don't even remember how or where we met, but
it was through the Playboy circuit. It was around the
time I was Playmate of the Year I think. And
then she had one of my favorite was it.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
A cover and it was just it was just like
the inside I don't know how, it was a spread
and she's like coming out of this TV.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
It's like this very cool y two K kind of
they still yeah the other day and then we just vibed.
And then when she moved to New York. We went
to dinner. We went to Bond Street. Shout out sushi.
You know I love my sushi, love your sushi, and yeah,
we just I feel like, just stay connected.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah. You always just grabbed drinks, dinner, caught up. Yeah,
You're just one of those like friends where you can
just kind of catch up whenever you know.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I'm you know, maintenance fad.

Speaker 4 (02:45):
Yeah, my body every day.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
What is it like when y'all go out together for
drinks that people sending over drinks? Are they saying we'll
cover the bill?

Speaker 5 (02:54):
We always go out looking like we shitty, and we
like we always Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I feel
like every time we're like in the weirdest like wall
weird places that barely has lights on, Like I don't
think we've ever been hit on.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
And but you're not going to Benjamins and Mulligans.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
We do go to Benjamin's.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
We went on my birthday, yeah after, but I was like, already, really.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
She gets wasted when we go to Yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
Get really drunk. I really love to drink, and so
I will be on my tenth drink when everybody's else
on their force. So by the time I get to
Benjamin's I'm like panicking, I gotta get home right, and
I'm always yeah, I'm always like really bad shape.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
You're good at that. I'm not as good as being
able to be like, okay, I'm going.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Home, like I will be.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
Keep it going all the way fucked up. You have
your shamps, have my shamps galore. Then I started taking
my little shots and then it's over with.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yes, but yeah, we just go out normal chat.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
All right. Well, I think it's now and I've seen
interviews that you've done where you've talked about to upbringing
in your past and you actually, like you said, started stripping,
but you were only eighteen when you first started.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
I was underage, you were, Yeah, but like I don't
know if you want to get it to a girl. Yeah,
this isn't like okay, so we don't want to keep
but it's also it is. Yeah, it is what it is.
I stripped underage and then I started stripping in DC
when I was eighteen.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
And then yeah, did you have a fake ID or
did they just not care? Okay, I had a.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
Fake ID and then I knew somebody, Yeah I just
had a fake ID.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
What was that? Like?

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Great?

Speaker 1 (04:31):
What is that like for you though, being young and
knowing that these guys, because you know, we all know
guys can be creeps, and we've been seeing a lot
of stories of disgusting male activity. I want to know
from your point of view, what is your thoughts on
that now that you look back at it. You were
under age, maybe they knew, maybe they didn't, but you
still and you still look young now I know.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
And I looked really young then. I didn't have any implants.
I was like completely not that it matters, but I
did look very very young. It looked even like younger.
And they would say that they would sometimes come and
be like, hint that they know it wasn't like of age,
and you know it is.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
But what do you think about it now that you
look back at these men? I just want to get
it from your point of view, from somebody who's you know,
obviously you benefit it from that, right and you were
in a position where you shouldn't have been there, but
you were, and it was a twice that you made.
I want to know how you look at that, because
we just hear so many stories about men who are
like just I hate credit their predators.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
I hate it, like if I don't hate it for myself.
Does that make sense? I don't hate it for myself.
But if I heard it going on for anybody else,
if I had a daughter, a friend, anybody even just
like heard it like a story, I hate that. Like
I don't want that. I don't even I think they
should even be twenty one to strip right, to be
completely honest, And a lot of clubs are, A lot

(05:49):
of clubs are. But yeah, I don't. I don't regret it.
It really put me on a good track. It really
had me hustling very young, and that's what I don't regret.
I wish I wouldn't been able to do it in
a different way, but I wanted money quick.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
How were you able to be savvy enough as it's
a young age to maneuver and hustle, Like where did
that instinct come from?

Speaker 3 (06:15):
I don't, I don't know. I think I just heard
that that was a quick way to make money, was
to like either have a sugar dotty or strip, And
I just that was just where how I grew up.
And like I don't want to say it was like taught,
but it was just that's how people just made money
before we extra away from this topic.

Speaker 6 (06:35):
I want to dig a little bit into it because
I come from the same background and when I first
started dancing, my back you know, we all have our
own stories as for why. Right, So, my back was
against the wall. I was a single mother, my daughter's
father had passed away, and I was basically homeless at
the time, and I was twenty. I was like maybe
five months before my twenty first birthday. And the first

(06:56):
thought that I had in my mind was I could
have been doing this two years ago at eighteen, and
things might have been better for me if I started
at eighteen. But in hindsight, after fifteen years, removed from Farvard,
moved from the club seed. Right now, if I look
at a girl being eighteen and go into the club,
I'm like, no, don't.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Do it, don't do it, don't do it.

Speaker 6 (07:18):
But when you touched on the guys being when Angel said,
how did you feel about because the guys, you know,
kind of touched on the guys kind of knowing the age.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah, pimps will go in there and like they'll like
really persuade the girls to like never get out of it,
Like it's like a never ending cycle. And that's where
I'm like I don't want somebody sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, even
nineteen twenty. Yeah, like you don't know, I was. I
don't know how the.

Speaker 6 (07:45):
Whole thing about society and the kind of fake rules
that they put on things like dancing in timeframes. You know,
it's like taboo when you do it so young, but
then there's like, oh, you're too old to be right
right now, I'll be forty seven this month. And if
I decided to go back to the strip club, which
clearly I don't have to, but they would be like, oh,

(08:05):
you're too old to do that. And it's just like,
but I am a grown woman. Y'all want a child?
Make it make sense here?

Speaker 1 (08:14):
You know? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah, it's sad. It really is sad at times.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
You know. I just find that so eighteen years old,
you're legal, you go to DC, And what was that
like for you at that period of your life, because
you've already been had some experience, right, And I also
want to ask you why was money so important to
you at that time? What was going on in your life?

Speaker 3 (08:37):
I just I was raised by a single mom and
I have two, like I said, have two sisters, an
older when or younger one, and I don't know why
I took on the role, just says like the provider,
which is always important to me. Even at fourteen, I
worked at a grocery store and like I just I
it was important to pay the bills. It really was.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah you think was your mom always kind of stressing
over money to trying to raise three daughters.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
It's impossible. It really is like to raise three kids
by yourself and like and pay all the bills.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Do you think she knew back then what you were doing?

Speaker 3 (09:11):
No, she thought I was a waitress and maybe I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
I really don't know. She she I love my mom
so much, but she was adopted by like a Mennonite family,
so maybe her life experience, like I was able to
definitely get away with more. And then it wasn't until
she got remarried and my step sister rounded me out.
She was like, yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
You conversation with her.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
Do you all know who that is? For Amish?

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like the Amish that aren't as.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
So what were they doing on the How do they
know then?

Speaker 6 (09:46):
Because there's those are the ones that aren't as strict
they deal with electronics and all of that.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
You know, that's a huge community and pens. Yeah what
were So what was that like for you? So your
mom were you born into like, okay, Mennonite.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
I was raised in a Mennonite church. So my grandparents left.
They were like first generation, like leaving. I don't know
how else to explain it, but like they're like first
generation knowing electricity. Then they adopted my mother, think she
was about six months and so they raised her like
knew trying to figure out the world a little bit.
And then yeah, and then she just had us. And

(10:28):
so I was raised in a Mennonite church, so I
went every Sunday to a Mennonite church. My great grandparents
were still very Mennonite. My grandparents like half and half,
Like they would like hide the electricity when people would
come visit, things like that, like other family members, they
were just kind of.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
You think that made you want to rebel? Did that
make you feel like I don't want to be here,
I want to rebel against this or were you at
first like this is just what life is.

Speaker 3 (10:51):
I think I just felt like this is what life is,
you know, when you're just so used to it, when
you're younger, like, they know no different, I think now
I yeah, I was rebellious and didn't realize it.

Speaker 6 (11:02):
Yeah, and then the age you probably felt like everybody
lived like that, right, yeah, right, and then you got
their realization that, wait, this is different what my friends doing,
how they lived.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Yeah, felt kind of good.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
So then you so you moved to DC and who
it was your sister with you, the one that was
your roadie.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
So yeah, my older sister and then my little sister
was in high school. They actually lived in Virginia, so
it's kind of close. And then yeah, so my my
sister was my ROADI for a little bit, older sister.
And then when my my little sister turned well she
was able to be my roady had a couple of
cubs where she wasn't twenty one okay, but then yeah,

(11:42):
I kept future dancing for a long time.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
How were your sisters when you told them, Like, did
you tell them immediately or was it.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
I forget how my family found out? Well, which the
stripping part.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, the stripping part, because we're going to get to
the other podcast that was wild Heart.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
My older or sorry, my stepsister just wanted to be
a waitress at the strip clubs I was working at,
so she would sometimes take me too, and then she
was just lazy as how.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
She was lazy as hell.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
I had to pay for everything to get us there,
you know what I mean. It was just too much.
And I told her one day. I was like, I'm
sick of you just sitting on your ass street and stripped.
And she pulled up to my mom's place and was like,
she's a stripper. My mom was like, what you could
tell it? Just like she fell down to the ground,
was crying. Me and my stepsister got into like a

(12:35):
fist fight and I left.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
Wow, that's that? Is that?

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Since that is what? Yeah, we speak, but yeah, I
don't really, I don't. We don't.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Yeah, wow, I am so sorry to hear that. I
don't think it's like due to that, Okay, you just
haven't seen her.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
I think that that. My parents don't have like a
natural bond with me, so it's just normal from them
not to keep up on my life or like what
I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
M talk about your sisters. Do they keep up with them?

Speaker 1 (13:10):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yeah, my sister just oh this is my mom talked
to my sister, not my older sister. We don't know
where she is, and then my little sister. I think
she does speak to my mom once in a while.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yeah, well, I feel like you're so nach a lot
about all of this. I mean, you're very open and honest,
but it also feels like a little detached. I don't
know if.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah, for sure, I don't know how else to be.
I don't really know my parents. Like I'm about to
be thirty, and so I haven't seen my mom yeah
in like twelve years now, and so in a couple
of years I'm coming up on the time where I
know her. I don't know her as much as I
know her. Does that make sense? So I don't know
how else to be. And my dad, I haven't seen
them since, Like I don't have an attachment to them, Okay,

(13:54):
I mean interesting, I just don't have Your dad is the.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Oh I'm sorry, Oh.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
No, actually yeah, no, he's just like white trash and
then like no, just being serious, doesn't care. But your
dad was like yeah, and then yeah, literally.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
This is really like a you have to write a book.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
It's a movie, a whole movie.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
Absolutely, I mean I feel like, not to be mean,
I feel like a lot of people have like hillbilly parents.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
No, but yeah, you talking about live I feel like
when I talk about the white chapter one, this one.
Did you ever have anybody who was like a parental
figure to you after that?

Speaker 3 (14:43):
My grandpa, my grandpa, that is my dad's dad. He
stayed in Ohio to help raise us my grandparents even
though they don't know much like they ever, it was
like a lot of people were there grandparents wise.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Right now, at a certain point, you started doing porn.
And I hear this a lot from people who start
off stripping and then doing porn. So why did you
start that? Because I know a lot of times it's
the financial the amount of you know, work, because sometimes
you could work for hours on your feet and not
really make Yeah. Yeah, So talk to me about how
that decision happened for you.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
I the guys were just asking me to go into
the bathroom like make solos for them because also DC
at that time, I worked at a club where it
was liquor, but they didn't give you couldn't do lap dances, okay,
so it was full liquor. I was like eighteen, so anyways,
you didn't have to be twenty one. You just couldn't

(15:40):
do lap dances. So I just go to the bathroom,
make solos for them real quick, charge them way more
than the lap dance. And then I noticed that there
was a lot of feature dancers going to all the
strip clubs, and I was just like, I need to
get my future dancing, Like that's where I'm going to
make all the money. Is like, get somewhat more fans
to visit the strip club for me. And then I

(16:01):
went to I, why did I do it? I think
I researched. Oh you know what, Sorry, I did it.
I did have a sugar daddy in l A. And
I'm telling him. I'm like, I'm gonna go be a
porn star. I don't care what you're say. And he's like, well,
that's what you're gonna do. Talk to the guy down
the hall. He used to be a porn star. He

(16:22):
knows all the agencies to stay away from. And they
put me on the rate agency.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Okay, let's a reverse for a second. Sugar daddy, all right,
because we had a conversation about sugar daddy. You've had
a sugar daddy. I absolutely you've had a sugar daddy, Jordie,
So you haven't. No, I have n't you can. I
definitely can't.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
You don't want to know my man will kill me.

Speaker 7 (16:43):
I don't know another life in another life, No, But
I want to talk about that just because there's a
lot of people listening that may misinterpret what it means
to have a sugar daddy, not understand.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
There might be some men listening who went to be
a sugar daddy. So I want you to break down
the host sugar daddy, what it entails and what it
was like for you.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Oh well, I feel like every sugar daddy is different,
some of them. Yeah, they're all different. I've had every
different type of sugar daddy. Which your favorite, my favorite?

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:17):
You have favorites for sure. And you know what, let
me just say, I don't want to be a sugar baby.
I'm about to be thirty. These men try to force
me to be a sugar baby still to this day,
and I really genuinely Anyways, Yeah, my favorite was like
a recent one. He's like the same age as me.
He was thirty, hot, big cock young. Like it sounds

(17:39):
like a relationship generous.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
I would have to wait, what generous.

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Super generous? Insane? I would go to my I would
go wait, for my uber. He would send five hundred
bucks just for me waiting outside for the uber, like
like insane money sending it to me. And then I
actually go into the bathroom and like peel with my
eyes closed because I swear if I saw like a
hair tire, like a hair like, I was gonna mess
it all up. You know, he was my favorite little Yeah,
I just got I just don't speak to him anymore.

(18:05):
Why I don't want to sugar Daddy.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Okay, I don't why to sugar Daddy, but you know,
I'm just curious, can I sugar can Daddy turn into
our relationship?

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah? But then, like it's really hard. I think I've tried.
I've really tried to do that, and I've definitely had
guys that like were my sugar daddies. I ended up
just dating them. But it's a control thing too for them,
and I don't know, it's hard to go date them.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
What would you say, Doddie, was your experience?

Speaker 4 (18:36):
My experience was I was working at this soup place,
like a men's wear in Miami.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
It's what a great way to be the sugar daddy
soup sugar Daddy wear suits?

Speaker 4 (18:56):
Yeah, exactly, he would come in or is this a
stant would come in and he was like, oh, I'm
having these events in Bahamas because that's where he lived,
and he flew me and my boss out and we
stayed at his house.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
It was a huge mansion whatever.

Speaker 4 (19:12):
And then we just kept in contact and he was like, oh,
like come next weekend with your friends. So me and
my birth best friend would go like every weekend for
a while because I lived in Miami at the time.
And it just started with like gifts or things like that.
And then as we you know, got more friendly.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
We never you never had you never had sex with him?

Speaker 3 (19:33):
Whoa you could put a sugar daddy in the wheelchairs
to them? We never had sex because he couldn't. But
I I'm never They always never, Like it's hard to not,
like don't they want that? Yeah, they tell you have
to usually have sex with them, Like everybody that's always

(19:53):
trying to get the nun.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
In my head and sugar daddy doesn't. I don't know why,
but I've always had a sugar daddy was like just
like to give you money. And a lot of times
they're so old they can't even really like do much.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
Sometimes like active they'll take a medication, even if they're.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Eighty like they.

Speaker 6 (20:14):
I had a really generous sugar daddy and I never
had sex with but we went to the Florida Keys,
and that was like the time that we were supposed
to and I just couldn't because I wasn't feeling him
like that.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
Yeah, oh wait, I had one, probably like I had
one I never had sex with.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yeah yeah, yeah, very good.

Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah and it didn't work. No, no, no, he he
spoiled me, probably almost MAXI the most. Like he's the
one that gave me the Ostrich purple Bircken like he
would really and still I do still have that. He
just recently gave me this really nice watch. But I

(20:53):
did go to have sex with him, and it's it
smelt so bad. He was he was uncircumcised, and it
scarred me for life. It smells so so, so, so
so bad that it went on for seven years. I
would not fuck this man. I moved back here he's
and I thought, Okay, then his hygiene was better, you
know what I mean. I started going back out on dates,
so I was like, maybe he got it together, and

(21:16):
then I just couldn't.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
How do you not know your diston I don't think
you smell like but I also feel like if you're
not circumcised, you have to know how to clean that properly.
It was this.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
Whole hygiene Like we went to the US Open one
time and I made my friend sit next to him
just so she could have like understand and then and
yet and he had so much earwax that it was
out of.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
The US so fascinated Wyatt.

Speaker 3 (21:41):
She was like, Hey, has so much fucking earwax you need?

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Did you tell him no?

Speaker 3 (21:50):
So? How did you It was that bad that I
was like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
That is what would you say?

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Like, what would you say?

Speaker 3 (21:56):
I just wouldn't allow him up to my apartment. Every
time you would try, try, like every few times, that
makes sense, Like it would go. It would be like
every fifth time he would try, and each time I
would have an excuse some of my period. I don't
feel like it. I don't want to, I don't would
turn into a bad mood, like I would get out
of it. And now seven years later, seven years it

(22:17):
went on for seven years, off and on. He just
yeah he still chose to.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
Wow men love the chase?

Speaker 3 (22:24):
Yeah, well, I know he and I try to put
him on to my other friends and stuff.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
They're like, and why would you do this?

Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, I said, they were okay with it. They're like
fine there. Yeah, they were like they just said, they
were like, I'll take them, and and then he would
just be like, she's my favorite. I think it was
the rejection. He would go to them and be like
I want her.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, because it's a challenge.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, right, I have the rejection.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
You got to keep it going.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
So tell me about the wheelchair guy.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
Yeah, he was so mean to me. Yes, he was stup.
I know, I really I didn't. It's not like I
just I don't want to say it felt bad for him.
But he was in a wheel which since a teenager,
and he really enjoyed being around me. You could tell.
But he would just like get really frustrated and really uncomfortable.
I think because he just.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
Like so he couldn't have sex. He couldn't, Okay, That's
probably why he was mad, Yes, I mean.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Yeah, yeah, and so he would just like by the
end of the night I would spend like six hours
with him, he would just like, I don't know, I
just couldn't do it. After a while, I.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Was like, you're like, what do you mean by me?
What was he that?

Speaker 3 (23:28):
Like very snappy, short, rude for no reason, Like I
just felt on edge, uncomfortable, just like I wasn't doing
anything right, like I didn't know when he was going
to just be upset over nothing, and like I don't
like that. I'd just rather not be around. So I yeah,
And then he would like text really weird things at
like three am and like call my foot like I

(23:48):
can't wait to be inside that pussy again, and like
i'd be around other guys they'd be like what is this?
So I was like, I've never like I swear this man.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
But he couldn't even do it, I know.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
And then I was like you're yeah, so I just
text him. I was like, this is a little like
we need to.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
Or maybe you could have just played along.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
I could. I want to play along at first, but
then like he kept calling my phone, I was like,
it's just it was it was a little bit uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
It's it hard to break it up. Have you ever
been stocked like trying to break it up?

Speaker 3 (24:17):
I bet oh yes, oh yeah, oh yeah I have
like restraining orders. Yeah yeah, I've had people breaking Oh yeah,
that's awful.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
I know that's not bad.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
I don't. I was just talking about it that I
really want to get one, but I'm not confident in them.
Seventy percent of the time they say the weapon could
be used against you if you're.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
But you would go to a rain.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Maybe we just need pepper spray you have that?

Speaker 3 (24:45):
Is it legal? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (24:52):
I have a knife and pepper spray.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
And little rass knuckles.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
I don't have knuckles.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
You gotta get. I know you think, but you said
you your stepsister, So I'm.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
Gonna think that. You know, little sister that jumped in.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Okay, she got.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
Have you heard of the field app?

Speaker 3 (25:14):
No?

Speaker 2 (25:15):
So have you guys heard of this?

Speaker 3 (25:16):
No?

Speaker 4 (25:17):
So last night my best friend, she went out with,
you know, on a little date whatever, found out that
her neighbor also matched with this dude on hinge. They
were exchanging stories whatever, nothing too crazy, but he gave some.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Red flags to the to the neighbor.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
Next day, I think, yeah, this morning, the neighbor now
has another friend that also matched with this dude on
this field app. And apparently it's an app for kinks
and strange things that you're attracted to, and so the
kink is obese women.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
Okay, nice a feeder, it's called that's like a feeder.
I have a little bit of a feeding. I like
to feed.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
You like to be.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
I like to feed my partners. Yeah. It makes me
happy when I bring them food and like when yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
Like yes they open.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
I remember I had that.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
I had a sedule thing about him.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Okay, yes he might die.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
He was he was. He wasn't a he was just
obese that died from obese cities.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Wow, did you have something you had went today? You
have to write them?

Speaker 3 (26:35):
I did.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
I had to write it.

Speaker 3 (26:37):
I had and you know what when he did all
of his friend.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
And stomach No, no, no, no, it was like tight.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
You know like when someone's like that is tight? Does
that make sense? Like so you don't I don't know
that was tight. Yeah it wasn't roll. Yeah yeah, yeah,
I wouldn't have to like sift. But yeah I did
have sex with them one time. No, it just lasted
a couple of seconds. But he was so happy and
even when he died, his all his friends were like

(27:09):
but he died like knowing that he like I was
like his number one dream, you know what I mean
to like day and be with and like he died
really like happy and like even though we fucked one time.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
I could go can transition.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Friends were like, he really died, Like.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Guess what you were right?

Speaker 3 (27:35):
You never had a fat sugar daddy or you only.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Had the one. Never mind, I don't even want to
say it because it's not nice. But she definitely killed someone.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Oh really, I.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Mean not necessarily, but yeah, sex died. He had a
heart attack.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
Vagina no way, Oh my god, Oh my god, this
is scary.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
That's never on top. Okay, he went to the hospital
and then oh yeah, yeah that's you know. He was
then devisually he passed away. But yeah, well you.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
Put it, you put it down. Huh what's that?

Speaker 1 (28:12):
What's that king that you've said no to.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
Scott?

Speaker 1 (28:17):
That's like ship? Yeah, I would definitely say what about
they call it scat?

Speaker 3 (28:22):
Oh really, I guess that's like the like the technical
technical term. Yeah, that's like or like just like I'm
a little bit weird about bodily fluid. It's like I'm
actually really vanilla.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Okay, I'm really golden shower.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
I love that you but that's so normal, but give
it both okay, yeah, like in the shower, I try
to put people on this and now it's going viral
to p in the pussy?

Speaker 2 (28:53):
How can you do that? What's his face? I found out?

Speaker 4 (28:57):
No, not me, but I don't know what. We could
code name him, but you know who I'm talking about?

Speaker 3 (29:04):
Could I did I get a little hair?

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Can't? If I might give it away?

Speaker 1 (29:08):
Whisper, But what is it about? Give us shoot? No way?

Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah you're lying, Yeah, you're lying. Yeah, he didn't lying.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
He asked you for no, he didn't so far, but
he did it to someone. WHOA.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
I thought guys couldn't pee while they were erect They
totally can the Am I wrong? Guys guys in the room?

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Can you guys?

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yes, but it's it's harder to do that.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
WHOA, I'm not still haven't processed you guys can't? They can?

Speaker 1 (29:37):
But I go ahead, Damn, what are you gonna say?
I don't because when because I always know when guys
are hard and they have to you have to lean form, okay,
giving hit you in the face, so the don't hit
you in the face.

Speaker 6 (29:53):
No, so it could come out you don't like?

Speaker 3 (30:00):
Do you like cream pies? Like you not to be like?
But like?

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Is that I'm not a post.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
That's how I like. I just it's a certain sensation
of like fullness that I really like.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
What's the clean pie for people listening?

Speaker 3 (30:12):
Just so just like somebody coming inside of you like
an eternal.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yeah that's vanilla. Yeah, that's very regular. I thought it
was like something that's like baby, yeah, baby cream. But
what about a cream pie in your butt?

Speaker 3 (30:27):
I never had that? Really, I'm saving that for my
fourth husband.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
You haven't married three times? Yeah, okay, so the fourth
as much arable as I've had. I don't think I've
ever had a guy come in my ass really, no,
have you.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I don't like Anal.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
I don't like as not for me Capricorn, I don't
do that. I don't like Anal Tips and Tips of
the Trade.

Speaker 6 (30:55):
Anal to our chat today because I was like, maybe
this is something you can talk about.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
It looks you are I need help.

Speaker 4 (31:02):
I do ask for tips, though, yeah from you. I
feel like tip I'm going to be the tips that
you give.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
Yeah, I think Anal, you should be the one to
put it in and like push back on it, like
I don't think the guy should even be moving period.
I think you should just lay on his side in
a spoon, and I think if you're new, I don't
think you should do doggy first. I think that's really pain,
like people go to that first. I don't think you
should do girl because of gravity and you don't want

(31:32):
to have it like like you know, don't want.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
To have a bar that morning.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
The spoon, and then you should be the one to
push back.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
He's got to stay still, like don't you move? Don't
silic silicon based lube? Well, what about a butt plug?

Speaker 3 (31:49):
Yeah? I think I think that people should use butt plugs.
There's also like stretching kits before that are really good.
I don't think but with butt plugs, if you use
you can only use so in lubes for silicone, but
plugs because it dissolved, it actually breaks it down the
loube wheel and then then your body it goes into
your blood.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
So you're not listen, you're not selling it.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Sorry, I don't know like you guys are asking I
thought you were asking for like really, like I can
leave that part out. You could just use a glass one.

Speaker 6 (32:28):
Just get you somebody with a small dick that helps
to But that's only like to start once you like
get accustomed to it. And you like it, then you're
not going to want that dick anymore.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Well, you got to start that way, but how you
finished is not how you start. Period. Have you ever
had to ship on somebody? Because I know that's a
real thing. Never either, Okay if people say that, I
literally have that happening. I wanted to put in my
butt and he's like no because I don't want it
on my dick.

Speaker 6 (32:58):
And I'm like, I'm not going to shoot you.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
That is a fear.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
That are you saying? Have I accidentally on someone?

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Yeah, yeah, that is on purpose, like not a fool. Yeah,
Like like I went through a stage I dated a
guy where we just loved having anal sex like almost
every day, and so it was bound to happen and
we were just drunk every day. It's a tackle Tuesday.

(33:28):
Well it's gonna go down happy single than my own.
And then you just got on the chart.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
You didn't care, right, why should he?

Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, it's a risk.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
I feel like guys don't care about much, Like there's
not much that's gonna really gross them out.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
I've been traumatized by getting my period before and they
don't care. They but no, like they reacted terrible. Yeah,
and it like scarred me for life up until recently.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
That changed. What happened you accident? You didn't know you
had it?

Speaker 4 (33:56):
And yeah, I didn't know I had it or I
didn't know it was still there. It wasn't well, yeah,
it was pretty bad this one time.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
It was really bad.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
So I was just so embarrassed and like his reaction
was bad. That's just that's like not that big.

Speaker 6 (34:11):
I know I had a period of mistake before, and
I was scared to tell a person like when it happened,
like my period.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Came over their bed and they got up. Oh damn,
I saw and I was like, but who hasn't had
a period of mistake before?

Speaker 6 (34:23):
We were on a tour bus, so that made it
a little bit worse, and I.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
Was so okay, so this is a celebrity.

Speaker 6 (34:28):
Yeah, So I was so scared to tell him. And
when I told him, he was like you're a woman,
right right it happened, and I was like, I don't care,
And I was so scared, like he was going to
like get me in a box album cery like.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
I don't know what about celebrities, have you.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
They're always in her d M would you want it
would you be okay with dating a celebrity.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
I've only really dated celebrity Okay, yeah, besides when I
was like younger, U they kind of just yeah they,
I'd say, after twenty five, it was only really like
athletes and rappers and other like sons of this and
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
What they refer to as high profile men.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
Yeah, yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
Do you like a discrete relationship or an open one
like where everybody gets to see you? You post?

Speaker 3 (35:24):
And I've never like blatantly posted a guy in my
social media, so I.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Never never, not even when you were married. No, that
is crazy to say. They don't ever get mad Like
I want to get marriages.

Speaker 6 (35:40):
I want I want to say, Okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
Not in over ten years against It's not that I
wouldn't do it, It's just that, like I need to
be with someone for a solid year, I think, and
I can't. I've been like Max like a year and
a half someone.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
All right, So tell me about your marriages. First marriage lasted?
How long?

Speaker 3 (36:04):
My first marriage was just two weeks because he was
married to somebody else, so it just was an So.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
Didn't even county count How did you find that he.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
Gave me his old This was like back when, Like
he gave me his old iPhone because all the music
was downloaded on there, and like, I don't know why
I couldn't done. I don't think I had to pay
for each song. But anyway, he gave me his iPhone.
He was like, here's all the music, Like I have
a new phone now. He didn't delete anything off of this,
and so you had to.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Of course he went through it.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
And so you had a wife and king kids in Memphis,
and so yeah, he would just fly back and I
knew his parents were there.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
But he was my sugar daddy kids and his wife
was there.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Wait he was It was my sugar daddy's lawyer. He
was like, my sugar Daddy. I forget what they were doing.
He stopped by the house one time. Sugar Daddy walked
into the other room and he was like, if you ever,
if you're whenever you're ready to leave, this guy, like,
here's my number. You just call me right and that
turns you on, you like, and so so I texted

(37:09):
talent and yeah, what did your sugar daddy say?

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Did he find out?

Speaker 3 (37:13):
He was a really understanding guy? He was understanding about everything.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
I would fire my lawyer, yeah right, he wouldn't let
you keep the sugar daddy.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
Also, no, he was, well he was married anyway, Yeah,
he was, so two weeks for him. I then married
a male performer after that for three months and then
anybody we know male performer wise, No.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Okay, he wasn't. He's not like an adult male performer.
I know, but I know some of them. Okay, I don't.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
I don't think you would know.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
So he doesn't have like a dildo in his name.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
No, And then yeah, it was just a couple of
months for him, and then we went to he was
We went to an immigration lawyer, and the immigration lawyer
stoods down. He's like, this man should have never been
able to enter the country, has drug trafficking charges. He's
gonna have to go back home and petition that he
has a wife here and like try to get him back.
And I was like, why didn't you tell me all day?

(38:06):
And so he couldn't work, he couldn't get this and
like London or England and so like yeah he could
have totally like been honest and like it really upset.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
How did he get you though?

Speaker 3 (38:17):
Like what made Meda Monset. I wanted to leave the
the married man and so metamn Set and I was like, hey,
we just hung out, stayed together.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
So you were like into being married.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
I love being married. I'd get married again right now. Yeah,
right now, I'll get married to somebody, like if I'm
catching a vibe with somebody else, like literally if I
was catching the vibe.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Like, I'll be married for DZ was like we had
a great we had a great DZ would be like
we had a great first date and I love that.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
See I love that energy, and like I'll sign ups
ye crazy, yeah everybody, no, absolutely, oh yeah, yeah, I
will gladly sign up for you know, oh gladly live
separately and yeah, I get married. I don't know. I

(39:09):
love being married. I love saying that I have a husband.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
You can still just say that, yeah, I mean I
know I could. And then you also don't tell it.
You don't post him. It's not like I know.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
I just love being married though.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
Okay, I really do. That's her cake.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
Yeah, there's my key.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
That's your king. Marriage. You have a marriage king. So
who's the third guy.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
The third guy then was just a songwriter and we
were married for a year.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
Okay, yeah, okay, well that was you had a stay here,
so you were in love. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
I really loved him. He's older than me.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
I really loved Why did that did that work out?

Speaker 3 (39:45):
He just cheated a lot. I think it was just
growing as a person. He was very ashamed of me,
and I really internalized that, and I also really took
that out on him, and I just wanted to I'm.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Sure that that's interesting. So he was ashamed. So did
he bring you around friends and family?

Speaker 3 (40:06):
Yeah, just like I mean, he was pretty known and
so I was active in the adult industry, and so
I think it was that. But it's like you take
like it is what it is like now he's obsessed
now he you know what I mean? Oh yeah, what
toxics and yeah, like you can't have them like a
star to hit like you should have waited type of
you know.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Did you have a real wedding like.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
A Vegas and then Wednesday shells to Vegas? Wednesday Shells?

Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yeh, big shells is nice. That's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
I love Vegas weddings.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
You do that? All of them were in Vegas. Okay,
did you have like an Elvis impersonator?

Speaker 3 (40:43):
No? Never, did the Elvis one next that'll be for
the next one. Yeah, iim something weirder.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
I wondered they aways weirder than that.

Speaker 3 (40:51):
They have so many different shows in like wedding shows
in Vegas. Like you could, yes, get married in Vegas,
and it's so easy, so quick, right, that's the problem.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
People get drunk and.

Speaker 4 (41:03):
They like, your sister got married ye in Vegas.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
I was like, you're getting married in Vegas?

Speaker 2 (41:10):
That was your idea?

Speaker 3 (41:11):
Yep, okay wow.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
And I also do want to talk because I think
it's very important to note that you started off as
a stripper, then did porn, then retired from that, but
you've also been in tons of magazines and had features,
covers and all of that, because I want people to
understand that it's not you're very like you said when
we started this off, versatile now doing music and a podcast.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
Yeah, outside my podcast a little bit ago. And then
I mean, do you guys feel overwhelmed with your podcast ever?
Like recording like this schedule, Like not to pull you up,
but like it was like it is a lot of
ways overwhelming for me to be in town once a week.
To make sure you.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Know what I mean, Jesus the one that has to
fly in, so it's tough for her. She flies in.
I will say one of the tricks that a lot
of people do is they back them up right, So
do more than one episode at a time.

Speaker 3 (42:03):
Yeah, I know I need to do that, but I
want to bring it back. I'm just going to change
the name, and so I want to bring it back.
The fans really liked it.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
I had my podcast for a little bit and then
I did the covers.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
I think you have a lot of good stories.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Is there anything that you feel like you have to have?
Some things that you've never told anybody? You know, we
all have those graves.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
Yeah, Oh my god, I'm everybody.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
I'm talking about your own. Oh do you have any
that you're like to the grave? I would never tell anybody.
I did X, Y and Z.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
The other day. I broke into my like my biggest
I think I told you this his hotel room.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
Oh yeah, he brought me to a hotel room.

Speaker 6 (42:44):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
Well he did say. He was like, you're forever on
my like friends and like family to get into the
room when like I'm in town and whatever, and so
I thought it was a lie, and so then I.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
Went to test the theory.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
I want to test the while he was like practicing
or whatever, I was like, Okay, I'm gonna go to
the room see if there's any bitches in there, because
I knew that he got in there the night before.
I walked in there, checked every trash can, nothing in there,
you know, no condoms, nothing. The side of the bed too,
was made neatly, and I can tell that he.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
I text.

Speaker 3 (43:17):
I was like, I'm in.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Your room, right, how did you get in?

Speaker 3 (43:19):
Because I was on the friends and family I did.
The security did let me in. So it was like
a slight break in. And I wasn't gonna admit to
that one until I knew it was gonna work out
good for me that there was no girls in the room.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
And what was his response that you checked?

Speaker 3 (43:31):
He loved it. He picked me up, he ran to
the room, started swinning around.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
Oh guys, toxic to try. Don't try?

Speaker 3 (43:40):
Yeah, yeah, I don't try, may not end up well,
I don't know. And other than that, yeah, to the grave,
I'm pretty open.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yeah, so I see already open. And I saw you
posted on social media that you wouldn't have your kids
back to back, but then other times you're like, I'm
grateful I don't have any kids.

Speaker 3 (43:58):
I'm so grateful I don't have any kids. But I
I think I have a little bit of a pregnancy fetish.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
So a marriage a pregnancy fetish. Have you been pregnant before?

Speaker 3 (44:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (44:06):
How many times?

Speaker 3 (44:07):
Like six? Yeah, I have really bad PCOS and enemy triosis.
I froze my eggs. I then I just recently a
couple of weeks ago, had like a little small surgery
to like help it. It's just I really struggle. I
really really struggled.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
A lot of women struggle with that and don't understand
like that can be something that is really So you
had miscarriages.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
Yeah, miscarriages A couple of them. I had to have
like dncs like you know, like help me and stuff,
and yeah, yeah that sad. But then like not at
the same time, like I I can invest in myself
so you.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
See the pros and cons either way, Like when it's
meant to be, it'll be, and then if it's not,
you can see the pros and I would.

Speaker 3 (44:51):
Be a stepmom again. I really liked it.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yeah, Okay, these just like whatever, like live in my life.
Have you ever where had your heart broken.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
I think so by who like tell us the story.
You don't got to say the name.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
But okay, I mean I don't know if I really
love them, because like I don't hate them, and I
feel like I should hate them, and like you have
to love them first to hate them.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Right, I know, no indifference and like, yeah, I do
think that, Like if I fall out of love and
I'm indifferent, that's kind of the opposite hate. It's like
so passionate. Yeah, this, but I think when you really
don't care at all, So maybe you were in love.

Speaker 3 (45:38):
I really loved this guy and then he beat me
really badly. I'm Valentine's Day like publicly really like and
really embarrased that really like broke me. I really took it.
It took me a couple of years to really build
myself emotionally after that. Yeah, but it's like, okay, so
you know that I feel it. It is like I

(46:00):
actually feel so happy. I really like he broke me
down so bad to realize like all the things that
I really genuinely was missing out, Like I love my
family so much, I love my friends so much, I
love working, like and he took all of that at
one point and like, I really love those things.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Do you have so many layers? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (46:16):
I really love where I live, like you know.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
So I think it feels to me like a lot
of your thinking in life is I wouldn't be where
I am right now if these things hadn't happened to
me before. Definitely, And so everything has happened for a reason.
Even the things that broke me have made me strongergeous.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Too, And so I feel like God sends me a
lot of things to like, you know, show me that
he's changing things. That makes sense.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
So what happened on Valentine's Day that had him.

Speaker 3 (46:45):
I don't know. I mean he went through my phone
and an ex Sugar Daddy had texted me because he
I owned a couple of percentages in his company and whatever,
and I texted back and I was like, I don't
really care about you. And then he didn't like that response,
and I was going to talk to him about it
because I'd never cheated on him, never, nothing, whatever, it
doesn't matter. And then I think he just wanted to

(47:06):
beat that day like that was just his Like that was.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
That the first time he did that, or he.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
Would like slap me around, like slap me around, spit
in my face, like verbally like really bad to me.
And then yeah, that was like the like only one
really bad time.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
Did you tell anybody? Because sometimes women we can be
ashamed that this happened to us and try to cover
over somebody, and I did.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
And you know the sad thing is people encouraged me
to stay. Can you believe it? Yeah? Yeah, I told
myri the friends that I had at the time, and
they're like, you should just stay with them. They I
don't know if they felt like because he was somebody
special that it was just okay, but like he had
definitely slapped me around, and I wanted to leave and
I didn't have I didn't feel like I actually had

(47:47):
emotional support. Then I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
I know you say it's okay, but I still am
going to say, is that I am sorry that that
happened to you.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
Yeah, thank you, I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
And then so you I want to ask you this too,
when you got into the porn business, right, what are
not not because you were you were so young and
you still look young. Thanks, Yeah, I mean you do
like you look like you could still be doing like
those teen.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
Thank you? Yes? Really about thirty this year, so really.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Young. So for you when you were filming scenes and everything,
what did like were you I'm trying to get the
right way like emotionally there, like how did you? I'm
just wondering, even if it's somebody you're not like feeling,
you're not attracted to. It is acting, but acting also
does require you to get into like a certain mode.

(48:42):
So what was going on with you mentally?

Speaker 3 (48:44):
I you know, I think about this often. I actually
don't remember any of my scenes, And I don't know
why You're like how I did it? But I don't
remember any of them. Like I remember getting there that day,
but like I don't remember the sex scenes like they're
usually like twenty five minutes just read, and I don't
remember any of them. I don't remember my partners. I
don't remember their faces.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Did you used to have to like drink or do it? No?

Speaker 3 (49:08):
No, it was before I even smoked weed. I yeah, you.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
Think you just blacked it out.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
I just blacked out, Like, I don't know how I
did it. I don't know why. It's not like I
was having a miserable time. It's not like I didn't
like my partners. I don't remember shooting. Sometimes I get
tagged and stuff, I don't remember them.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Wow, so it's like a numbness.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Yeah, did you ever watch anything back? No? No, I
don't like this. Yeah, like just if I get tagged
and stuff, but like, yeah, like I don't remember any
of them.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
I wonder what that is. Have you ever spoken to
somebody just to kind of like I I hate to
use the words unpack, but like to unpack some of
the things.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Yeah, I was in therapy for six years. I just
took a break because I feel like my therapist knows
me too well. We're not like getting like anywhere and so,
which is a I feel like good in that I've
had her for a long time. I've done two rounds
of EMDR, which I'm heard that's amazing. I'm a huge
believer in it. I really am. I feel like it
changed my life. It doesn't make sense when you're doing it,

(50:08):
and then when you finally connect it at the end,
it's hard to explain.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Tell me what because for some people listening, I've heard
about this and I've heard it's amazing.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
Yeah, I love it. I don't know what it stands for.
I won't lie. But there's different techniques. Like I didn't
mind virtually, So I was doing tapping on my legs
and some people use a light. I heard people just
like doing like pressure points on the hand, maybe on
the face or something. I think that's the only ways
to do it. But I did the leg tapping, And
so you go over like traumas, and the whole point

(50:37):
is to like reprocess it. So you're tapping and connecting
both sides of your brain to like reprocess it. So
like you're talking to a therapist, you're doing talk therapy
about the issue. They're helping you figure out the outcome,
and then you're reprocessing it with your brain.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
So do you write, Like do you ever write down?

Speaker 3 (50:56):
Yeah, I'm a big journaler and stuff like that. I
also used EMD like when I was going through like
like just tough things, like to suppress it when I
knew they were going to be ongoing. Does that make sense?
And that really helped me because I knew they weren't
going to be resolved and like I knew it was
going to get overwhelmed. And yeah, I love in EMDR.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
You know, listening to you talk about a lot of
things and like you're always like, no, it's okay, it's okay,
But I'm glad that you actually went and did that.
What made you decide I'm going to go to therapy.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
I I wanted to make sure I have some family
members that really struggle with mental illnesses, and I wanted
to make sure I didn't have any. I wanted to
make sure it's like a very it's like an anxiety
for me. I don't want to miss if I have bipolar,
schizophrenic or anything like that. And so that's why I started.
I wanted to make sure and usually you know by

(51:44):
the time you're twenty.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
Five, Okay. Now, I also want to touch on the
fact that you've left this business right to move on
and I think it's been working for you. I would say,
so talk to me about that journey, because I know
sometimes being being at your own entrepreneur your own business
is not the easiest thing.

Speaker 3 (52:05):
Yeah, I mean I was. I retired when OnlyFans was
like just taking off and like doing it, so I
had like a fallback. I didn't feel like that at first.
I was really scared, and then I was like, hey, everybody,
please like get on my Only Fans and yeah, I
noticed that's when the fans will like just move to
each thing that I do, like they're really so only

(52:28):
fans is more lucrative then it was at a point.
At one point, I think it's kind of falling off.
I'll be the one toy like say it like no,
everybody wants to lie and say whatever. But I definitely
think it's falling off. And yeah, but it is very lucrative.

Speaker 4 (52:44):
What was the like payment like for both OnlyFans and
like when you had scenes.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
So for a scene like for a boy girl pretty standards,
one thousand dollars for the day, but you could be
there anywhere from like five hours to twenty hours. Sometimes
I was even on set for almost two days. That's
insane for a thousand dollars. Yeah, no food, no water,
no food, no water, no. Oh yeah, there's some sets.
This is this is twelve years ago. I heard that
the industry is not like this anymore. So I don't

(53:11):
want to speak on it, okay, but it wasn't Yeah
they yeah, it was like and this it was one
thousand dollars. I worked myself up. By the time I retired,
I think it was twenty five hundred a scene. But
that took me a minute. You start pretty low, and
so yeah, only fans, I could do a custom video
for one thousand dollars for ten minutes literally, and.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
You also could get somebody to pay you to go
on a date for your yeah right, yea.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
Almost anything for real Skype shows. I've done regular phone
calls and so I just needed to get out of
it to relays. I could do that, you know what
I mean, make money a little bit easier, right, you
need a little bit of.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
Like, yeah, was there a point when you were like, okay, financially,
I'm doing really well.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Yeah, myself, it was during COVID. I was stuck in
Saint Kitts and a nice place. Yeah, I was stuck.
I was stuck for three months, and so I was
just busting my ass on this island trying to make
trying to make money because I was stuck there and
I thought I was gonna have to charter myself out
and like, so yeah, my first not my first month.
I remember the first month that I got eighty thousand, I.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
Was like, wow, that's amazing.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
I was sitting on the Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
Yeah, literally literally, So you know, people can down only
fans a lot, like and there's a lot of judgment
on it, but it really has kind of like leveled
the playing ground for people to be able to It
is still work, by the way, like it still does
take effort, but it also seems like it's a safer
way to make money and it Yeah, I'm sorry you're

(54:40):
in that line of work.

Speaker 6 (54:41):
The thing that people don't realize that only fans wasn't
created for sex workers. It was created for creators, right,
and then the sex workers kind of like dominated.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
The especially during COVID right listening, I.

Speaker 6 (54:53):
Was on COVID doing talk videos and holding classes and
be pulled dancing videos, and I made a lot of money.
I don't have a page anymore. They deleted before not
being active, Okay, they would like count down, like you
got two weeks a.

Speaker 2 (55:07):
Post now, carr you out.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
I don't know they did that. I haven't even went
back to go check. I don't know that deadline came
and went So what's so what's income like for you now?
Like what's working for you now?

Speaker 3 (55:28):
I have I have my only fans, I have like
variations of only fans, like other like websites. I have
a flashlight like people like that is I had that
since my beginning of time in the industry. That has
always kept me afloat.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
That's great. A lot of guys to float I know.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Right, I don't even like promote it because it's because
the sectors they buy wholesale bulk and that's where I
make the percentage. And so yeah, I then have how else, Yeah,
just like very like, oh really do it sounds about
I'll really almost do anything, like you know, I'm like
particular too, but like at the same time not yeah,

(56:11):
you know.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
So okay, but it feels like you want to bring
back your podcast. So I had a conversation about that.
I still do think. You know, this is a series
right here, Yeah, volumes because you have a lot of stories.
I can't like, I know, we can't even get into
all of them. But I'm sure you come across every
type of guy, you know, Yeah that there is, and

(56:35):
every type of experience and can give them all. There's
I'm sure there's guys that would like to even just
have conversations with you.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
Yeah. I just did before I got here. I just
did a I did a twenty minute call with a
fan and he didn't get naked. I didn't get naked
and then I left for here, like I do them frequently.
I actually really love what I do. I really like,
really actually like being a companion in a way, Like
I think that's why I like to be married, And
it's not about doing it for multiple people. I actually

(57:04):
wish I could just be a companion for one person, ongoing,
like the right person. Yeah, it would make me really
really happy. But I don't mind. Like you know, some
girls feel really exhausted being a significant other. I don't
feel like that. I don't know why. I really love it.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Okay, I enjoy I have been a companion to one person.
Yeah you do, right, Yeah I do. It's very easy
for me, Like I.

Speaker 3 (57:24):
Got it feels really good.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
It's also just chill. I don't have other worries, you know.
It just has to be the right person, like somebody reliable,
somebody who cares about you, you know, somebody that you
feel like. I could see Yu's ten years from now
having like a nice chill life, and so I'm I
am hoping that you find it. Do you think it's
ever you that messes up a relationship?

Speaker 3 (57:44):
Always wait before Okay, they had their issues. Yeah, I
are you a little toxicity. I like to you know
what I like to do. I like to be a
really hardcore love for right hardcore, and as soon as
they fuck up, I.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
Take it away. So it's like love vomit.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
I take it away quick, right, and then I'll be
cold as fuck, like not even like a slight emotion
out of me, and I know that really hurts them.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
Yeah, right, But the relationship will never survive because there's
always going to be issues that you're going through.

Speaker 3 (58:20):
I can't do it. You do? You do?

Speaker 1 (58:24):
It's the truth, because somebody is always going to mess up,
and you're gonna mess up. And then if somebody does
that to you, then.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
I really want to stay with my next partner for
five years. I really do. That's no, that's like, that's
like I'm going to really close to like like like
through thick and thin five years unless they do something
like abusive or like I'm really not okay with cheating.
I won't lie, I'm really not.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
I know. It's what about would you have another woman
in a relationship? Oh yeah, okay, I'd.

Speaker 3 (58:52):
Have two men if I like two men or no,
I would have a like I would date.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
Not with that. I feel like really not okay, Yes
they are.

Speaker 3 (59:01):
That I was in a throuble with this married couple
and I really like that at one point, like I
was okay with that gave me a lot of freedom.
That was when I was younger. I would totally have
a girlfriend and a boyfriend. That would be my dream
actually for someone to be okay with that.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
Okay, you used to have a girlfriend too.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
You have a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
I have a girlfriend. Nice? Just now? So wait, soid
you've been with but two guys? You've had a relationship
with two? Okay, but you'd want.

Speaker 3 (59:28):
To and with a girlfriend. They all know about each other.
Like when I hang out with the guys now that
I talk to and like whatever I talk about the
other guys that I'm also seen in front of them
and they have to be.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Okay with it.

Speaker 3 (59:40):
So I don't know if if I am technically have multiple,
like two boyfriends right now.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
You know what's interesting too, Like a lot of black
guys know you too because of the interracial scenes and
the black scenes that you've done. Was that on camera
the first time you've been with a black man or
had you been doing that?

Speaker 3 (59:55):
No, my first ever crush was a black guy. We
were born the same day. We were like five years old,
and yeah, he's Gavin was his names my first My
mom's black, so oh your mom's black. Mom's black, and
so I don't even know that. Yeah, my dad's white
and I just have like very pale. My two sisters
look very mixed. So I've always really loved black guys.

(01:00:18):
I never waited to do like interracial or like other
girls in the industry. They'll wait and I don't know,
I don't know if it's like this, but they'll wait
even years. I never did. I did it from it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
So that's so interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Because they act like your scenes are like interracial scenes.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
They just advertise it as that.

Speaker 6 (01:00:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Well yeah, I mean when it came out that my
mom was black that they were like, what they're they're
so racist, so realists. Yeah, it's really yeah, yeah, and
there is. They're taking photos of my sister and things
and say fool sister. But I do really that's my
favorite type, would be a black guy.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
Okay, yeah, well we're gonna find that. I'm sure you're
gonna find that one, just like about Asian.

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
Oh yeah, I see, I would say black guy, hispanic mixed.
I would told I never dated an Asian guy, but
I like difference in race. Like, I'm like, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
You like cultural data?

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
Yeah I do. I do.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
I like, like, I've ever heard of you being with
a white guy?

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
Never, never, I would I would either. That's so funny
because a lot of like your biggest scenes have been
inter racial, and so it's not.

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
But you're like, it's been me.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Yeah, this is who I am. Yeah, well, they say, so,
we're holding you accountable for certain things. Number one, this podcast,
you said you're going to restart and you have a
different name. Number two of the music, you have your
first single, and we want you to make sure that
you're going to keep on doing that because this is
something that's different for you. Number Three being in a

(01:01:54):
relationship for five years okay at least.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Yeah, with a younger guy though this type, why don't
you have to be younger? So fine. It's like an
old dog getting a puppy. Seriously, it's true.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
And all the dog you're getting a puppy.

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
You get a puppy for your old dog, and it
makes the dog like your dog. Why have my old dog?

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
Yeah, that's how.

Speaker 3 (01:02:18):
I feel when like a guy's like twenty five around me. Seriously,
it is a wildish though.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
They do love you, but they're childish.

Speaker 3 (01:02:25):
I think sadly all the older men are equally as
childish and yes, the way is true.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
And maybe stubborn and not open to change.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Needy, they're needy. I rather take childish right now than needy,
and so that's where I'm at.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
I don't know what the future is like for that though. Right, Okay,
it's okay, it's okay, You've just had a whole conversation
about you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:47):
Okay, sorry, I am going to be with someone for
five years.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
That's right, I forgot.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
My next husband is yeah, yeah, yeah, I never even
smoked a cigarette before. It's never. Out of the three,
I've never smoked a cigarette. He's never tried drugs. He
is pure, pure, pure.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
You're going to corrupt him, is he? No?

Speaker 3 (01:03:09):
No? No. If you you'd be like if I told
you it was after, you'd be like, oh.

Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
Really wait, I'll tell you have you ever done like?
I don't want to ask this because it sounds crazy,
this type of have you ever done Mennonite porn?

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
Like? No, okay, seems to me. You know, I really
love God, I really love it. They've kind of even
tested on me. I feel really regretful, like even like,
you know, entertaining it even slightly. But I really love
where I came away.

Speaker 6 (01:03:43):
You know it's hard, but you haven't seen it this no, no, no,
I keep having to running back. Your mom was black
and okay, because I've never like this is I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Telling you, it's a whole story.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Was adopted, This would be the craziest tal I would adopt.
I thought about it in the next couple of years.
I was like, should I adopt?

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
Yeah, I think I think I should. Yeah, that's a
real thing. I actually nothing for nothing. But a woman
called it to my show earlier today who I met
in person, and she's a big advocate for foster care
because she comes from foster care. And we had a
whole conversation, you know, about that situation and about her
adopting because she actually lost her baby was born like
two pounds and she lost the baby and now she's

(01:04:29):
so she was like, I want to come, and she
has this whole nonprofit. But I do think that some
of the most resilient, amazing kids were in foster care.

Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
Yeah right, yeah, right. My little sister can't have kids either,
and I like, I just think as a family will
always continue adoption.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Yeah, there's so many kids out there that need like
a great home.

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
They really do to be raised in tons of millions.

Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
Actually, well, Saphire, this is fascinating to have you on today,
and we appreciate.

Speaker 3 (01:04:56):
You had a good time.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Jordie's friend. Yeah, Jordie's like, I live close.

Speaker 3 (01:05:04):
Anytime you like you need somebody on, okay, I always
be on.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
We love that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
Seven more stories to be told.

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
And every time you come, we're going to be like, so,
did you stet the podcast again?

Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
I'm going right, I really need to.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
I need to, all right, it's lip service. Yeah, Safire,
make sure y'all follow her. Check her out? Where do
you want people to follow you at?

Speaker 3 (01:05:26):
I have my Instagram. I'm trying to change the user
name just to my real name, which is Stapphire. How
but right now it's also gene official.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
I f i elsa. Jean sounds like your real name,
and fire sounds like your poor name, which is hilarious.

Speaker 3 (01:05:42):
But Staffi is my birthstone too, Okay, yeah, but it
was my real name, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
Perfect, Well, it's lip service.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
Bye guys,