Durand Bernarr: How To Grow Without Losing Who You Are

Grammy-winning recording artist, Durand Bernarr joins Angie Martinez to talk about "making it" as an independent artist, what it was like to go viral after winning a Grammy, and how he balances his humor with his drive to succeed.

Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt...

All lines provided by ‪Hard Rock Bet

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Like you never felt victim to, like not losing yourself
so much, but just bending.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
In a way that felt uncomfortable for you.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Well, yes, bending because I'm flexible. But to gain your
flexibility you have to stretch. You have to stretch yourself
in areas that That's why I said there's a fine
line between pressure and pain. Pressure you can lean into,
but if it's painful, back off.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hey guys, thanks for watching. Today's episode is brought to
you by Boostmomble.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Despite twenty years of music industry experience under his belt,
it still kind of feels.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Like you are just getting started.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
This Cleveland singer earlier this year won his first Grammy
with an amazing viral moment to follow. He's an advocate
for authenticity, a champion for creativity, and one of the
funniest musicians you can follow on social media.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Please welcome to ram Berno, thank you, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Too somewhere well in real life.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
Ah, I'm so glad to see you.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
I feel like you're one of those people that I
feel like we know each other and we've hung out,
but we have not ever.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
I know, right, That's the that's the beauty of just
being on on online.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
So much.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
It's like you saw me on the timeline, but we
need to see each other in real life.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
But you know what, I'm probably not the only person
that feels like that.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
People probably feel like that about you in general, right,
because you have a spirit that you kind of like
want to be around and I want to.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
I feel like people probably say that to you all
the times.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
White you know, it's it's.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
I learned early on that people do enjoy being around
people that have a positive attitude that you know, make
you kind of forget what's going on.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
We can just laugh for a minute, you know. It's
it's And.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
I don't take anything serious unless it requires severity. And
that's the Marsha Ambrosious quote.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Okay, I heard your quotes at the beginning of the
pod story. Are you always like that? Are you always
in good spirits? Are you always positive? Can you be
moody sometimes?

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Can you be?

Speaker 4 (01:58):
Absolutely?

Speaker 3 (01:59):
I think it's more so when I'm stepping outside, it's like, okay,
we're we're charged, and we're on, and then there are
days when you know we need to have our time. Yeah,
because I'm not I'm not bouncing off the walls all
the time. And I think you know, when you brand
a portion of your personality, people are expecting that all
the time, and so I try to make sure that

(02:22):
they know, like, yeah, there's time for that. And then
it's also like I'm chilling, y'all, I'm high. Let me alone,
you know, I'm in here with a shysty on and
a hat. I'm not trying to be seen, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
So that does that require any like, you know, because
when people expect you to be one thing, I don't know,
sometimes that makes people have to perform or be almost
like a version of themselves all the time.

Speaker 3 (02:45):
I'll say this is there's a difference between people who
have to put it on and then turn it on. See,
I got to turn it on because it's in me.
It ain't going nowhere.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
But it's not like a fake person.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah I might have to rev it up, but it's
this is genuinely me.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
What is that? Is it energy? Is it personality? What
is that?

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Those two plus whimsical? You know, we need whimsy in
our lives. Whimsy I really did, really And also I
am very much in touch with my inner child. And
there's a fine line between being childish and being a
kid at heart. One of them, you can turn on
the other one you came and so I am that's

(03:30):
the that light that people see, the the rambunctiousness. I'm
very much a textbook rascal. I love that absolutely. Bugs
bunny is my spirit animal. So just like when I
saw that lady steeped in worshiped with her eyes closed
front row at the blue note, I said, oh, this
is an opportunity for something to take place.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
And you see it.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
You see me when I make the moment and I
go over and I just you know, I seeing an
exclamation point.

Speaker 4 (03:59):
Yes, yeah, it's just I can't help it.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
It's so good.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
What were you like as a kid, So if this
is you now, whimsical and childlike and fun and free
and all that, what.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Is the child version of you?

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Think me without a publicist, like no filter, and it's like,
oh my god, I'll I'll why Yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
Nineteen seventeen eighteen, nineteen.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
Year old Duran was definitely un hen but still but
still fun. Like I'm I'm I'm a fun person. I
can absolutely be shady. However, I've never been a mean girl.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Really no, Okay, what's the difference between shady and mean?

Speaker 4 (04:46):
Shade is in light? Fun.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
You know, I think when you are being a mean girl,
you are genuinely trying to be malicious.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
It's the Regina George thing. You know.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
People missed this a line, People miss that line.

Speaker 4 (04:57):
Yeah, absolutely, what about.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Little little dur Like what is the childhood?

Speaker 4 (05:01):
Like?

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Oh gosh, that's a lot. But yeah, No, I've always
been a very inquisitive child. I've always asked questions. My
mother always told me, if you don't know something, ask questions.
And nothing was ever off limits, not even her.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
What do you mean, like, did you ask her about her?

Speaker 4 (05:15):
Like, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
I met I've been like maybe four years old, and
we were at the house and she was giving me,
you know, a list of things she needed me to do.
You know, I need you to you know, pick up
your room, you know, take this downstairs, you know, vacuum
I life to vacuum. And after she gave me the things,
and I was like, okay, and what are you going
to be doing? Genuinely out of curiosity because I know.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
What I'm doing? What are you going to be doing?

Speaker 3 (05:40):
And She's like, if you knew what I had to
do to make your head fall off, now please go
clean your room. You know, but I wasn't raised with
the because I said so parent. You know, she actually
explained things to me, as the homie Chris so eloquently put.
She did not put your humanity on probation just because

(06:01):
you were new here.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
That's so good.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
And one thing that she always said ever since I
could conceptualize language, was I am absolutely your friend, just
not one of your little ones. However, I'm absolutely your
friend because I need she needs me to be able
to talk to her.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Were you a spoiled child?

Speaker 4 (06:24):
No?

Speaker 3 (06:25):
And the reason I say that was because not with
Binar Senior living in the house, like there was no
you act in any kind of way and there will
be no repercussions or any kind of consequences.

Speaker 4 (06:36):
However, when you have a child in the house that is.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Not stirring up any trouble, not breaking shit, not running away,
not doing all that stuff. If I'm doing what I'm
supposed to do, give me my stuff, give me what
I asked for, you know.

Speaker 4 (06:54):
So, And I think especially.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
With my my parents having friends in church and their
work life, who their children were, you know, getting pregnant
at sixteen and you know, running away, get in trouble
with the law, this, that, and the third. And they
were still struggling with the fact that, you know, I
had an attraction for boys.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
And while my mother more.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
So did the firm suggestions of you know, let's feed
the good wolf, not the bad wolf. You know, it
was never nobody ever condemned me to hell, but it
was just that gentle but firm like, let's let's come
over here and do this, you know, because we want
we want God's best, you know. And I think I

(07:43):
think them being surrounded by their their peers, with children
who were all over the place, that really made them
grateful for all the things that I wasn't and really
started focus on the things that I was doing that
they could be proud of. And yeah, we all, we

(08:05):
all three of us had to collectively grow on our
own as well as together. And I'll say, with me
being the only one that got into therapy, like professional,
I said, we did pretty good.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
You did amazing. You know, somebuddy, I always hear you talks.
You just talk so well.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
You know, you speak so highly of your parents, even
THO when you talked about your mom and your first friend,
and they've been so supportive and you've learned so much.
The fact that they struggled with that moment as you
as a child was surprising to me.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
I don't know why.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
I just thought it was always a warm and welcoming situation.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
No, it was, and I think because the church is
probably yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
Yeah, and you know, you have folks that feel like, well,
you know, we didn't pray enough, or you know, I
should have had you doing this or doing that.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
It was it was always there, you know.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
I asked because I have a friend who's in the
middle of trying to figure out how to manage your
child and a father who's not all the way is understanding.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
And so.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
You know, I pray for them and I for my advice,
but it's sometimes I'm like, you know, what is the way?

Speaker 2 (09:10):
How do you pour into a child? Though? How do
you manage your family when not everybody is on board?

Speaker 3 (09:16):
So this is what I have to, you know, tell people,
is that there's a there's a fine line between your
relatives and your family, your relatives or who you share
blood with, and also that that has nothing to do
with you, you know, because at the end of the day,
they are just people and your family are people that
have you know, you have created your bond with that
embrace you. You know, they don't have to accept anything

(09:37):
because acceptance requires permission.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Or acceptance x as if there's something.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
That's wrong yeah, or you need or you need my
approval yes, And it's like, well, no, I don't need
your approval to be myself.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
Yeah, you know, embrace me word and it was your yes. Yes.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
No, they collect we were able to me and my
dad had our our come to Jesus moment. Maybe there
were a couple of different moments fourteen, sixteen, nineteen, I
say one of those, oh more than one.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, Fourteend to know, people probably think they just get
it right once.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
Oh yeah, no, one trick, yeah No.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
The fourteen was when I had to tell him, hey,
I'm not afraid of you anymore, and that whooping thing,
we gonna stop that.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yes, how did that go over?

Speaker 4 (10:26):
You know what?

Speaker 3 (10:27):
I'm so grateful that I was who I was at
that time and my father was who he was at
that time.

Speaker 4 (10:33):
Where he genuinely heard me.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
I felt like he because I did not react in
the way that he thought about. I said that very calmly,
didn't raise my voice, and he thought that he was
going to get a rise out of me like oh yeah,
well let's go then, and I'm like, nobody's about to
tussle with you, sir, this is not even a fair fight,
Like no, I'm just I'm just I'm letting you know
what is okay and what is not okay, because you

(10:57):
taught me to stand up for myself and so now
it's time for me to those twos that you gave
to me.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah, not against but just you.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
And so that was I feel that was a level
of respect that he that I received from him.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
And then the second time was sixteen.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
I was around when we were on tour, were Earth
on the Fire, and I explained to him I felt
like he might have been projecting or pushing his ideologies
and his feelings onto me, or it would be like
something as simple as y'all saw that I was looking
at some material on the family computer and you want

(11:39):
to insert, well, he was looking at girls too, right,
I mean, and it's like, I mean the pop up
as that I was trying to move out the way
so I can see the Nichols. But so there was
there was that little moment I was like, well, no,
that's not And then nineteen was the conversation where he

(12:00):
the unsolicited, unsolicited apologized for any eras that, you know,
and he specifically said, I really wish I would have
just talked to you more instead of just going to
whoop on you, you know, And what.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
Does that do to a young boy when it grown?
When your father.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
Apologizes to you, If my father can apologize, nobody else
is exempt. We're talking about somebody who was born in
nineteen fifty eight, you know, and he had to learn patience,
he had to learn how to properly love me.

Speaker 4 (12:38):
You know.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
It's one thing to just be loving, but there's ways
and wish that we have to be loved and handled.
And while there is a teacher student relationship as far
as the parent and the child, the child is also
teaching the parent as well. And so when we can
at least humanize the children, because a lot of times
people don't view children as people. They viewed them as

(12:58):
a maid, they view them as a co parent, that
they're also telling.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
A small version of the Robert.

Speaker 4 (13:04):
And first of all, you're not that tight for somebody.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
To be a mini you, right, you are not tight
at all, tomouta my legacy, what legacy? You ain't even
got no no, no insurance, may got no furrow one? K.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
Where's your life policy?

Speaker 3 (13:17):
What are you passing down besides trauma and an empty
gas tank?

Speaker 4 (13:22):
So yeah, it's just.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
I'm I'm I'm so grateful that I've had the father
that I've had, and not only that, he's been a
father to so many of my of my friends and
other people you know where It's like somebody was like, man,
your dad gives the best hugs. I need, I need,
I need another one, you know. Just it's so I
get it. You know, you're lucky, meant fortunate.

Speaker 5 (13:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Yeah, and I and and not for nothing. I would
actually be friends with my parents if they weren't my parents.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
You like them, I like them, actually like them.

Speaker 4 (13:57):
They're fun.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh I love that.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah, your mom was so cute when you were doing
your Grammy speech, and she she just looked like she
enjoys you so much.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
If she could have got down on the floor and
kicked her feet up with me, knowing that we'd have
to stop the show for thirty minutes to stretch her
up out of.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
It, she would have.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Hey, guys, today's show is brought to you by our
presenting sponsor, hard Rock Bet.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Being rebellious doesn't.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Mean quitting your job and moving to an island. Sometimes
being rebellious just means taking a few minutes to do
exactly whatever it is you want to do. And that's
where hard rock Bet comes in. Where you're inner rebel
plays if you're in New Jersey or Michigan.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
The hard Rock Bet.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Casino f has thousands of your favorite games from the
casino floor, like slots, blackjack, roulette, whatever you like. And
here's what I really appreciate from hard rock Bet. There's
no nonsense. When you sign up. What you see is
what you get. If you don't win in your first
twenty four hours. After signing up, you get up to
one thousand dollars back and casino bonus to play again.
Plus you get five hundred bonus spins for cash eruption

(14:55):
with winnings paid in cash. Now, Florida, listen up. Hard
Rock Bet isn't forgetting about you guys. If you like slots,
they have something for you too. Check out games powered
by Pass motor Racing. It's not a social casino. These
are real money games that are thrilling, fun and exciting,
and you can play with as little as twenty cents,
or you can try your luck at a bigger win
all the way up to a million bucks. The best

(15:15):
part again, there's no gimmicks. If you're a new customer
in Florida, sign up and deposit ten dollars to get
a one hundred dollars game bonus instantly. That's some extra
fuel for your spins. So if you're ready to take
some time for yourself today, download the hard Rock Bet
app and make your first deposit.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
That's the hard Rock Bet.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Casino where your inner rebel plays games powered by a
pass motor Racing payable in PMR game bonus not a
cash offer offered by the Seminole Tribe of Florida. Must
be twenty one and older and physically present in Florida
to wager. Terms and conditions apply. Concerned about your gambling,
call or text one a three to three Playwise Michigan
and New Jersey offered by Seminal hard Rock Digital LLC.

(15:53):
All rewards issued as non withdrawable site credits. Ten dollars
plus deposit required for four hundred bonus spins for cash
eruption only up to one thousand dollars back in casino
bonus if player has net loss on slots after first
twenty four hours. Casino bonus credit has a one time
wager requirement. Must be twenty one or older and present
in Michigan or New Jersey to play gambling problem called

(16:13):
one eight hundred gambler.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Do you ever think are you gonna be a parent?
Do you want to have kids and do a family?

Speaker 3 (16:19):
And so I used to want children, No more I did.
I used to want children, and I got us. I
got us a dog, a beagle. In twenty thirteen, spondee
Saint Thermis that rest his soul.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
And I realized then.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
I was like, oh wow, I am not going to
be a parent. This dog alone is rearranging my whole shit.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (16:46):
And I just it clicked right then and there. Wow,
I'm like, I'm not And I would.

Speaker 3 (16:51):
And my mother has told me you would be an
amazing father.

Speaker 4 (16:55):
Absolutely, and I know I would.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
It's just the sacrifice that it would take. First of all,
I'd have to be ready to go to prison at
any given time. Yes, I've already seen. Ohs I wouldn't
last five minutes.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
I can't. I can't. I can't, not in os and
not on the football field. Nope, nope.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
And so I also realized too, you know, it takes
a village to raise a child.

Speaker 4 (17:20):
And there's more.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
It's not just the mom and dad, it's not just
the it's the people that are child free, that are
in the village, that are there to assist. And my
favorite kind of children are the kind that.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
I can give back. Oh that's my jam right there.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah, that's really so most. I wish everyone could be
that self aware because some people wanted to fill a
hole or whatever, but they don't realize.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
It is literally the biggest, Like you have to make
the biggest sacrifices of anything in your life.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
And I already don't get enough sleep and rest at
So it's just that's why I said, when I got
the dog, and he'll be at five o'clock in the mornings.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
Us, whoa, whoa. Also, my career is my child.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
You love your career, I mean I do, However, it
is still my child. Like I there are times where
I have to get up and I don't want to
get up. I have to turn it on when I
don't want to turn it on, but I have to
show up. Yeah, so that's just for this. Imagine if
it was an actual person. That was the ending on me.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Wait what was the thing we were saying when you
walked in about work?

Speaker 4 (18:23):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yes, being in this business it is glamorized customer service.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Glamorized customer service.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
You have to love it, just like being a teacher,
just like working in the working with the elderly.

Speaker 4 (18:37):
You have to love what it is that you do.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
But do you think of your career and your gift?

Speaker 1 (18:42):
I guess it's two things. But your gift or your
career do you think of it as service?

Speaker 4 (18:48):
The career?

Speaker 3 (18:48):
For sure, I feel like my gift, that's that's innately
for me to exist in. And then however I get
to share it. You know that, you know, but sometimes
you're you need to Sometimes you need to use your
gift on you.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
You know, how do you use your gift on you?
Give me an example.

Speaker 3 (19:11):
Some songs are auditory journal entries.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
You know.

Speaker 3 (19:17):
Not everything needs to be so it's like therapy. Yeah, yeah,
it doesn't need to be for public assumption. And there
are plenty of conversations and things that I would love
to share. But also it's just we don't need to
do that. We y'all need to bring back diaries. You're
talking too much.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
You're personal. On with a little lock, okay, with the lock,
come on with the lock. Okay.

Speaker 4 (19:39):
So my first journal ever had a lock on it
and it had.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
Bugs Bunny on the front, of course, Yes, two thousand,
that was the first journal entry.

Speaker 5 (19:48):
Yes, you're right, because people share a little too much
a certain thing.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
No, seriously, and I'll tell you ninety two percent of
the time my MoMA own business. That other eight percent
just makes its way across my desk. Why do I
know this? I knew a lot of that eight percent
is strong so funny. I'm just learning it against my will.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
But why are you so funny? But why are you
so funny? Have you always been this funny? And why
are you so funny? And why?

Speaker 1 (20:20):
And you know, usually funny doesn't come with also this
extraordinary like musical gift at the same time, having both together,
and you're not afraid to let them overlap.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, yeah, sometimes people be so serious about their singing
and their craft. Jamie Fox, Jamie.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
He's another one who just as funny as as well
as he can sing and act and can do impersonations too,
like he his voice is an instrument.

Speaker 4 (20:45):
Yeah, and so I.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
I would like to say that I'm a I'm definitely
come from that. I also love Bo Burnham, and I
mean I love Kat Williams, Bruce, Bruce, Arna's Jay, Yeah,
Ricky smiling that, I Monique, I mean just comedians period.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
It's what is.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
It about the comedy side of it that does it
for you?

Speaker 3 (21:16):
I love to laugh. I love to make people laugh
because it is it is natural medicine. It is literally
massaging your insides and sending oxygen to your bloodstream. It
is literally adding seconds and minutes to your life.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
So yeah, give me a reason laugh, right.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
Unless it ain't shit funny here here?

Speaker 2 (21:43):
When is it not funny?

Speaker 3 (21:46):
I was gonna say when it's at my expense, But
there have been some funny shit that has happened at
my falling, tripping, bumping and stuff. Maybe one time I
was doing stage production and I'm going to go hit
this note and I cracked, Oh my god, And it was.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
When crag Oh yeah, I me never seeing you crack.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
I know right, what note was it? It was the
glorysa his ride that.

Speaker 6 (22:15):
Yeah, I don't know what the fu that was, and
the dancers on stage like ooh, the ram baby I'm like,
y'a hear that?

Speaker 2 (22:27):
How do you receive that when it happens? Are you're
a mess? Are you angry? Are you freaking out?

Speaker 1 (22:31):
No?

Speaker 2 (22:31):
You just keep going.

Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah, you just keep going. I don't take I don't
take anything to say.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
First of all, especially when you're performing live, all of
this is is live.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
You know what I'm saying, y'all know I can say.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
You know, when you're in the studio, as Erica said,
you're perfecting the moment.

Speaker 4 (22:43):
When you're performing live, you're creating.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
Can we talk about just grabbing moment for a second,
because it was so beauty, It was so I think
people people who didn't people who love you felt the
joy and I don't know, you just shared that moment
with everybody with such freedom, just laughs and the whole thing.
And then somebody who maybe didn't know you was like,
well who is that?

Speaker 4 (23:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Like it was just one of those moments that's just
like electric and even maybe bigger than even you could
have imagined that moment to be.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Did you feel like that about it?

Speaker 3 (23:17):
I The first thing I was thinking of was I
got these open back meles on and I'm running at
a slant downward.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh God, I.

Speaker 4 (23:28):
Just but I just had that. My toes was like, God,
wouldn't okay.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
I was ready to tumble because again I fallen afost.
We was gonna roll back up.

Speaker 4 (23:39):
It was at the end that moment it was about me.

Speaker 3 (23:43):
As soon as it was over, it was about everybody else,
Like it was about all of the independent artists who
have been out here for years hustling, doing it by themselves.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
This was for.

Speaker 3 (23:56):
Every artist who was told, you know, you're doing too much,
you need to tone it down. Nobody's going to listen
to you, nobody's going to pay attention to you while
you acting like this, while you're doing.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
This, and it was just very much a big.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 4 (24:13):
What was that?

Speaker 2 (24:16):
M hm?

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Because twenty years is a nice chunk of time to
be doing something. And even within that, I'll say with
that my I said, my almost my ten year mark.
I was feeling like.

Speaker 4 (24:36):
Am I even what am I doing?

Speaker 2 (24:39):
You know? Doubts?

Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah, it was this was this when I moved out
to LA because I got into uber and lifting, you know,
I was doing that on the side and.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
This is already you have music people.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Yeah, but this was also this was before Sam's Vibe.
This was before Case Arnada. So those those first four
years out in La when I moved out there in
twenty fifteen productive. However, also you can get caught up in,
like I said, the the cycle of the hustle, and

(25:13):
then you're so focused on trying to make sure you
can pay rent, you can do all this, and then
you have a little bit of time to work on,
you know, your art and what makes you happy and
you know. So it wasn't until twenty yeah, end of
twenty fifteen, I started to have assistance, you know, bring

(25:36):
other people in, you know, because I was doing all
of my recording by myself, writing by myself, arranging by myself.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
And so once I started bringing other people in, that's
when things started to shift and started to make noise.
And I'm just grateful that I was in a position
where I was open to it, because I know I
don't have all the answers, you know, And I tell
people that anytime we go into sessions, Look y'all got
the plaques.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
So I'm the I'm the mannequin. Put whatever your ideas
on are, like, put it on me. N Let's see
how I go because and also me liking the record
doesn't necessarily mean I have to.

Speaker 4 (26:15):
That's not.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
Uh, that's not a foundational thing, you know, because a
lot of people's biggest records they weren't feeling, but it
got them to where they needed to go.

Speaker 4 (26:25):
You know.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
So, yeah, that's been Wow, it's been a it's been
a it's been a while ride.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
But but I've been open. It's just the openness, you know, I.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
Think about I was thinking about that, you said.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
You know, we've heard you tell the story about how
like the year before you didn't win, you didn't think
you was gonna win.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
So he was in the back and you ran up.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
And then I thought to myself, I wonder what that
felt like for you, somebody that's been independent for so long,
grinded for so long, then getting nominated than not winning,
Like you joke about it now, like I didn't think
I was in winds House in the back, But I'm like,
but but did that?

Speaker 2 (26:58):
Was that was that weighing on you? Did you feel?

Speaker 3 (27:01):
I did not want to feel another layer of disappointment
because it was something that I absolutely felt that was
out of my control. You know, I even up until
that point, I felt like, I don't know if I
did enough you know, groundwork for people to know what's
going on so that they could vote for me, or

(27:22):
they could know that I have you know, material out.
So it was just and also too with you know,
every sunshine. She won in my category the year before her,
and no worries, and she was asking me, like, have
you written your speech yet?

Speaker 4 (27:36):
And I was like, I haven't, you know. She was like,
please write your speech, she said.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
I was up here trying to think who I needed
to because I didn't because I didn't think that I was.
People were telling me you're not going to win, and
I just didn't want to write another heartfelt speech from
my heart that the world was not going to hear.
So that's why I was like, gonna write it, and
I'm gonna sit in the back. And right before we

(28:03):
left to go to the theater is when I finished
writing my speech. Wow, and still sat in the back
because I'm just like, just in case, just in case,
I want to easy out. But me, but me counting
myself out, even in the slightest ended up being a
viral moment.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
It was so good. Yeah, ended up working, mind, But
at that moment, those moments of not the moment of
not winning, and that feeling. It didn't make you bitter though.

Speaker 4 (28:26):
Right because you never I was still tender.

Speaker 3 (28:29):
I was still tender about it because we also have
to go back to twenty twenty, twenty twenty. End of
twenty twenty one. That was the first time you gotten
That was the first time, no, no, no. That was
the first time that I was on a project as
a feature that won a Grammy. That was Kate Tronadas

(28:50):
above album I did free Fall, and I got a
call from a friend saying, oh, bitch, you got a
Grammy too, because you're a feature on the album, you
get a Grammy too. And then there were other artists
on the on the album, you know, talking about, oh
we get a Grammy, we got this, they making video,
So I made a video or I'm brushing my Grammy
award win tth bitch, I'm gonna be doing this. And
then a homegirl of mine who worked on the board, baby, she.

Speaker 4 (29:14):
Was like, ooh, friend, you got a moment and.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
So hey, Brittany Baby, she was like, so, friend, so
because you need to put in fifty one percent or
more into the entire body of work to receive the hardware,
you receive a participation certificate. So I had I went

(29:43):
back online and I explained everybody like, actually, y'all, I
don't get a Grammy, Like this is what you know
what I'm saying friends, you know, And then there was
the well you still a grammy a womb You're still
a winner. To me, It's like, come on, y'all, y'all, y'all,
ain't got to do please, It's okay.

Speaker 4 (29:59):
You know what I'm say. It's okay, Like we didn't know.
So there was a little bit of that.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
Love you though. How sweet is that?

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:06):
No, and I and I really appreciated that, you know.
It's just I don't think they understood that because I'm
my parents' only baby and I was home school. I
never had to do competition, you know. I wasn't in
sports and all that kind of stuff. It's always been
about me. I'm the winner, you know, I'm the winner.
I'm the beginning and the end, okay, the first end.
Elect like when we talk about so to go through

(30:28):
that on a on a global scale and then to
not get it when people have been telling you the
reasons why you're going to get it and why you
deserve it. Yeah, it was like, ooh, I don't like that.
And then I had to go throughout the rest of
the evening. You know, there was a clip where Janello
Nee saw me on the carpet and she runs into

(30:50):
being hugs me.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
And she was like, how did it go?

Speaker 4 (30:52):
Did you kidneything?

Speaker 3 (30:53):
You see like you don't hear us, but you see
us talking and you see my face go. And she
was like, yes, all right, all right, we're gonna We're
gonna do something anyway, like you know, and it was
just you know, so and then of course I had
that tight as kumbabon on so.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
It was just no slack.

Speaker 3 (31:06):
I couldn't breathe, and I just so at the end
of the day, when I was actually able to go
home and be by myself is when I was able
to actually unfold.

Speaker 4 (31:18):
Because it was just I had to be all day.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
So that was that was an adjustment, and so it
was just like I said, I was still a little
tender from that particular. But when we came back the
next time, we had three nominations. What I said, Oh,
one for the Father, one for the some month for
the oh Mo ghost. Okay, happy Pride, so yeah, that

(31:45):
that just yeah, it was it was a bit, it
was a bit more and also we were more prepared
this time.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
It was the time. It was divine timing. It was.
It happened when it was supposed to.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
We love, we love an alignment.

Speaker 2 (31:54):
Right, Yeah, everything happens when it's supposed to happen. All right, ladies.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
If you have been struggling with dry hair breakage or
just finding the right routine for your curls, I have
got the trick for you. Bask and Lather offers a
nourishing hair bomb for curlier kinky hair that helps reduce
hair breakage and adds the shine that you've been looking for.
It is made with real ingredients that can penetrate hair
strands without clogging the pores, and when used regularly, our

(32:20):
users have seen results in about three months. They also
have hydrating hair miss that's perfect for keeping your hair soft, hydrated,
and frizz free. It's got alivera and avocado oil. So
whether you're detangling, redefining curls, or maintaining protective styles like
locks or twists or braids.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
It fits right into your routine.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
Explore viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all
types from basque and lather. Go to basket lathercode dot
com and use code irl to get.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Twenty percent off.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
That's twenty percent off at basket Lather coo dot com
use coderl You said something before about people saying you
it too much. I would imagine that that happens to creatives,
people who are truly out of the box. Creative, you
too much because you don't fit in a box. What

(33:12):
do you say to somebody who's being told that they're
too much? And how did you manage to navigate that?

Speaker 4 (33:17):
I will say this, especially those boxes right.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
Funny thing about boxes, They do have limits, However it
depends on what you're doing in that box. And I
also I like to go back to that episode of
Spongebobe where he's using his imagination and they get some box.
Enough Squidward ordered a huge ass television, but Patrick and

(33:40):
SpongeBob were playing in that box and there was so
much calamity going on in there, and squid Word could
not focus on what he had gotten in the box
because they having too much fun inside that box. And
when he opens it, they're just sitting there. Nothing's going
on but you hear all this stuff going instance, we're
using our imaginations. If you don't have enough imagination, then
you might not fit in around here. You need people

(34:00):
that want to have just as big of an imagination
as you do, like we're And.

Speaker 4 (34:07):
First of all, especially being black, why would you think
that I came here to do the least?

Speaker 3 (34:15):
Like?

Speaker 4 (34:15):
Where where did you even think that was even a fault?
A suggestion? You know, And at no.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Point did you ever because I would imagine this happens
to artists too, especially a lot, when somebody is saying
you should do this, You gotta do this.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
This is how you win, This is how you be successful.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
This is how you can make it back like you
never felt victim to, like not losing yourself so much,
but just bending in a way that felt uncomfortable for you.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
So not.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
Well, yes, bending because I'm flexible and when you are,
but to gain your flexibility you have to stretch. You
have to stretch yourself in areas that That's why I
said there's a fine line between pressure and pain.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
Pressure you can lean into, but if it's painful, back off.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
So I think I've there's been a really good Yeah,
I got that in yo, you got the bar. So
when you have people that can see something that's already
there that just needs some embellishing, just need some fine tuning,
just needs to If anything, it just needs.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
To be tailored like I have.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Like the garments are amazing, but if we could just
bring this in a little bit to kind of really
let it fit you.

Speaker 4 (35:31):
That's that's what they did.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
It's supposed to being too rigid where you just only
want to do it your way and you're not.

Speaker 4 (35:36):
Yeah no, I've never been been like that.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah No, tell me a time though, tell me the
time you had to bend. You had to give me
an example of what that means in your world, to
your real life.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
So back when I was, I say, late teens going
in the early twenties, I was heavy on the jazz,
heavy on jazz, Billy Sarah Ella, Big May Bell, Phillis
hym and mister just a Bob a Loo Bob okay,
all of that, and that bled into how I approached music.

(36:07):
And so there was no structure and it felt good
to me, but I was trying to figure out why
wasn't it translating to other people? And so again when
I brought someone in to let them listen to the music.
They're like, okay, well you sound amazing, but these melodies
like they're all off the place.

Speaker 4 (36:25):
What are you doing?

Speaker 3 (36:26):
No, no, no, this is how we need to do this.
So you do like this and whatnot and let's try
something else. But keep this to And I was like,
that's all you had to do.

Speaker 4 (36:36):
That was all.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
It was.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
Just a little, just a little titbit. It was so
it was so minute, but it made such a huge impact.
And that's what the song melody was about.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
I was explaining how I've been working by myself and
now I found my recipe for what is dope because
I didn't have to change who I was.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
I just had to tailor garments.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Speaking of the recipe of why you're dope? What is
the comparison? Oh god, I can't remember. I'm talking about
the difference between it's not a it's like church, the
church voice or tone versus club.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
I wrote it down. I don't find a few because
I gotta get it right about the rest.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
What was that?

Speaker 2 (37:24):
You don't even remember this? You do so much funny stuff.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
You just do so much that you don't even remember
what I'm talking about. Fine, okay, but but I feel
like that is the kind of sweet spot of what
you do.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
And even some of the song I mean you, oh yeah,
you remade a gospel song.

Speaker 4 (37:44):
I've remade so many. We did a grown I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
One specific one that wasn't kind of viral.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
Yes, forever and and.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
For ah the ship you put me through. M y'all
need that. We know.

Speaker 6 (38:13):
Y'all are can go full.

Speaker 2 (38:20):
Stress sing me.

Speaker 5 (38:28):
Church, Yo.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
What happens when you do something like this and it
goes because it's one thing you do it and it's
like you're a little You're not little big, but your
community on your Instagram and your things. There's another thing
when you do something and it goes so viral that
it starts to get legs.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
Because then people have opinions that it's not part of that.
Don't get your humor in your things that did that
cause any issue? Or you just don't you don't pay it,
you don't.

Speaker 4 (38:57):
Pay don't have to pay too much attention to that.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Yeah, easy to be like, oh God, I don't want
to make anybody up set ange.

Speaker 4 (39:03):
Let me tell you something. When the people pleaser discovers
that people are never pleased.

Speaker 3 (39:09):
M you stop giving a fuck truly, like people are
never please even when you try to do things in
the way that.

Speaker 4 (39:19):
They suggested that you do, and it's still not good enough.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
So why are we wasting our time doing that, especially
with people that aren't that don't even live our lives,
don't even live even parallel to our lives.

Speaker 4 (39:32):
Even if you could fit my shoes, you can't strolling.
So I like to focus on the people who There's just.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
So many words. You have so many words.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
I got two therapists, I've been around the eldest we've
been around.

Speaker 4 (39:45):
I'm a sponge the.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Elder And that's a perfect combination by the way that
the therapists and.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
The elders don't have like a paith. Also at the
same time and all that going on at the same time,
you are well armed.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Come on, covered, you cover, Come on now?

Speaker 2 (40:04):
I love that. When did you find therapy? Uh?

Speaker 4 (40:08):
Professionally twenty twenty But I've been six years and that
was professional. We're talking about like unprofessional.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
We're talking what is an unprofessional therapist?

Speaker 4 (40:24):
Absolutely? You got my of course, my mom, my dad.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
You had a Vat Singletary who was my one of
my managers, at the time, and also a mentor and
just people that I've I've come across that just did
not mind pouring into me, you know, because they saw
that I didn't mind listening.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
You know.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
I love to, you know, to sit down and hear
stories and to you know, take note of what things
were not going to do and what we're not going
to do is bad.

Speaker 4 (40:57):
Okay, back, you.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
Know, I love that. Give me a boy, give me,
give me a jewel. She poured into you.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
Oh too many.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
There's there's one immediately that comes to mind, and this
was when I called her when I discovered that I got.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
Cheated on.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
And she had me. She was texting me and she
she texted me this this prayer to recite in One
of the last things that it said was I am
not a victim.

Speaker 4 (41:32):
I am a student, and I am grateful.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
And m Also that was the same time where she
taught me how not to internalize.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
You know, do you do that? It's a practice because
a lot of.

Speaker 3 (41:46):
Times, you know, when people are behaving towards us in
a certain way or or even just exuding certain energy,
that we might feel like, oh did I do something wrong?

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Did you?

Speaker 3 (41:57):
And my thing is if you don't come and talk
to me, I'm not and assume shit, I can't you
if you don't feel comfortable, enve to at least come
and talk to me and say, hey, Duran, when you
did X, Y and Z that made me feel this way.
That let's take inventory into that, because I don't want
to make you feel that way. But if you can't
even come and talk to me and let me know
that I did something wrong, obviously we ain't that close.

Speaker 4 (42:18):
That's that and that's okay too.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
But I can't internalize it's it's it.

Speaker 4 (42:24):
It will literally like tatter your nervous system.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
It's hard to do that if you're if somebody cheats
on you or your relationship and you've poured into somebody.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
How is that? Can you not internalize?

Speaker 4 (42:36):
That?

Speaker 2 (42:36):
Is that something you can well?

Speaker 4 (42:38):
Again, it's it's a practice.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
And my thing is if I've done my due diligence
to make sure that the floor is open for you
to be able to talk to me or if there's
something that.

Speaker 4 (42:53):
You need, if you don't let me know, how am
I gonna know?

Speaker 3 (42:55):
Like, if you don't tell me how you're feeling, I'm
not gonna give a damn because I'm genuinely ignorant of
what's going on inside.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
And also we have to remember that.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
How people treat treat you, it's really a reflection of
how they view themselves. And again, you can't you can't
take on their issues. I mean you can, but you
know that whole empathy ship. Listen, y'all can keep that.
I don't have time to be walking around here feeling everybody.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
To let me tell you something.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
You see us right here?

Speaker 4 (43:29):
What?

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (43:31):
So this is from an episode of Black Mirror.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
It was I think season four, season six, but the
episode was called Black Museum, and there were three episodes
within the episode. This particular one was called Pain Addict.
It's about this doctor who was who got presented with
some new technology to help with medicine. It was this
plant that got installed into the back of his head
that when uh, that was attached to a hairnet. You

(43:57):
put the hairnet on someone else, he can feel what
the other person is feeling without suffering the physical ramifications
of it. So they were trying to figure out how
to help people. You know, they bring folks in, put
the hairnet on, he'd be able to detect what was
going on in their body without them even knowing that
there was something else going on.

Speaker 4 (44:15):
Everything was great until one day he went in there.

Speaker 3 (44:19):
They strapped this guy up, and immediately as soon as
he put the hairnet on, he felt this pain. He's like,
oh God, what the fuck am I feeling? The man
was having a heart attack and he flatlined while he
was still wearing the hair net. The doctor blacked out
for two minutes, came back, brain was scrambled like a
motherfucker because now you have experienced the ecstasy of death

(44:43):
while you are still conscious. So now him it went
from wanting to feel pleasure to now he needs to
feel pain. And now he's going to work putting that
having people wear that hairnet, and writing the pain because
he's trying to get back to that. And I realized, like, woo,

(45:03):
I can't put hair nets on everybody.

Speaker 4 (45:07):
I can't feel everybody's ship. I can't.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
I can do my I can do my best where
I can, but we can't give our fucks to everybody.
You got to reserve them for the folks that gin
like we can, because you gotta reserve your fucks.

Speaker 2 (45:23):
Empathy is a tricky.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
Thing, boy, because it's it's it's putting a package with
a bowl as if it's a good thing. Yeah, you're
such an empathetic person. Here's your here's your You know,
like it's put like it's a good thing. But if
you don't know how to manage it or regulate it,
it actually.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
Could harm you.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Oh yeah, listen, I I just was working through through
my second therapist.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
Is I got to wait two at the same time time.
Oh do they have a conflict.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
Oh no, just a couple of weeks ago. I have
both of them on three Wright, What are we talking about?
I need all hands on that.

Speaker 2 (45:59):
What do you what are you trying to fix it?

Speaker 3 (46:01):
It's not about fixing, it's just you when you're going
through certain things, and it's like, no, I need multiple
perspectives at the same time, because both of y'all know
what's going on, and I just need everybody.

Speaker 4 (46:11):
We just need to have a team meeting.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:14):
And I say that with with.

Speaker 3 (46:16):
Pride and with surety within myself that I don't have
all the answers and a nigga be needing help too,
you know.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
I love that because it's everybody needs help all the time.
You don't need to therapists.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
Have therapists, therapist. But you come from a great family.
You love your parents, your parents love you.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
You know.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
Normally when we hear the therapy, heavy therapy especially or
people who like really rely on therapy, it's like, you know.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
Troubled childhood and trauma.

Speaker 3 (46:45):
I mean, we all have our traumas and having a career,
having a career, you need to be in therapy when
you are in the spotlight, you know, to navigate, to navigate, seriously, Yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Do it all right.

Speaker 3 (46:57):
Listen, I think pretty ain't been arrested.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
You Like you said, you're not built for that.

Speaker 4 (47:05):
You know, I'm not. That's not Listen.

Speaker 3 (47:08):
If there is ever ever a time where you see
Duran in a fight, understand it is nothing I ever started. However,
it was something that I had to finish because I'm
always gonna choose to walk away if there's ever and now,
I'm always going to walk away.

Speaker 4 (47:27):
But as my father always said, it's me and you
to list me or.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
You your father got bars to us?

Speaker 4 (47:34):
Huh, we have all lived.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
So yes, you got the bars. You got the bar.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
Okay, now, so so they say you can got a
family of bars.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
Hey, guys, you ever signed up for a phone plan,
thinking wow, what a great price, and then a few
months later it's like, surprise.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
Your bill is higher. We hate that.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
With boost Mobile, you paid twenty five dollars a month forever.
That's unlimited talk, texts, and of starting at just twenty
five dollars a month. There's no price hikes, there's no contract,
and this is forever. Plus, Boost Mobile is now a
legit nationwide.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
Five G network.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
They invested billions building five G towers across the country.
So what you need to do is visit boostmobile dot
com or head to your local Boots store today and
get unlimited talk, text and data for twenty five dollars
a month forever. Five G speeds not available in all areas.
After thirty gigabytes, customers may experience lower speeds. Customers will
pay twenty five dollars a month as long as they

(48:30):
remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. So we have okay,
So we have a section, a segment called our voice
down segment.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Somebody is a fan or a friend or to the show,
and they knew you were here, and they sent us
a little voice no nice? Shall we.

Speaker 4 (48:46):
Hey, Daran?

Speaker 7 (48:47):
My name is Wango and I wanted to ask. The
music industry can be such a tricky landscape, especially for
a new artist who wants to remain independent like you are.
What are some things that you wish you knew in
the beginning of your career that you now realize are
important for the route of.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
Independence, dependence life for everybody.

Speaker 4 (49:05):
It's not, It is not. It is not for the weary.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
You probably get that a lot.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
There's probably a lot of independence out here that independent
artists that are inspired.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
By your path.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
I honestly, the only thing that I can I can
the only thing I can really accredit to how far
I've gotten is first and foremost having a father as
as my manager, so pops being in the in the music,
being around the industry, and kind of again being a
part of my covering. So I was able to avoid

(49:38):
a lot of things that I've seen other artists get
involved with, you know, managers taking advantage of them. So
that was one thing. One thing I wish I had
have done earlier, was just bring people in. You know,
I was very much I'm doing this by myself. I
don't even know, this is my personal feelings, Nobody telling
me how I'm supposed to feel. Yeah, but it wasn't

(50:02):
until I brought other people in shout out to uh
Lewis Yorke Claude, Kelly and Chuck Harmony, which by the.

Speaker 4 (50:10):
Way, Claude wrote Party in the U.

Speaker 3 (50:12):
S A by Mama Syrus and I was like, I
won't a Party in the U. S A Type record,
And they gave me Jenny you.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
Would you would have killed the party of the US.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
Part of my hands like yeah, moving my hips like yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
But yes, it's too late.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
But yeah when I when when they came in, uh
and we worked on en route. That was when I
got my first Grammy nomination. So it's just the more
that that that people come in that understand you, that
see the vision, that can just embellish that.

Speaker 4 (50:49):
Uh. That was just key. It was. It was very simple.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
That has to come in some trust to know yeah, yeah,
and that that that takes.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
But again, I have my my my family.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
You know, I don't know, I don't have any experience
of having a machine of a label behind me. I
do know what it feels like to have a village
surround me and us reaching to the size and seeing
what brilliance we have up in here that can help
elevate something, and it's just it's been great to get
to these moments. That's why there has really been any

(51:20):
nerves or any imposter syndrome, because not only do I
know I deserve to be exactly where I am, I
have people around me that are that I'm familiar with,
that I know that have my back.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
So that is the grounding of my piece.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
I love that. So that's probably a good I didn't
get his name call.

Speaker 4 (51:39):
We say Wongo Mango. Yes, I thought I heard.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
I think for somebody like that, it's like, find.

Speaker 4 (51:49):
Your people, find your people and your community.

Speaker 3 (51:52):
Yeah, and we're out and we are out here, and
I have to remind people, yes, niggas is crazy, solutely,
hands down, full stop. However, there are people out here
who are waiting for the opportunity to support us and
to be there for us, and to be in our
corner and to root for us and to speak highly

(52:12):
of us in rooms where we're not in you know.
So and also having people in your life that represent
you well when you're not in the room.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
So good.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
Oh God, When I think about people in my life
who represent me when I'm not in room, and I
want to represent them well, when they're not in the room.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
I love that, and your parents probably start it starts there.
This is the way you represent them and the way
you talk about them, and then how they do for you.
That's probably where you learn that from.

Speaker 3 (52:49):
I wonder what it feels like to be them, to
see to have as amazing something like yes, a phenomenal entity,
and to see but also it's to see the perfect
hybrid of both of them. You have my mother's antics,
you have my father's face, like just I'm a just

(53:12):
a perfect combination of them both.

Speaker 4 (53:14):
I just wonder what that genuinely feels like.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
I know they're proud, but there's a certain and I
felt pride before, but that's a different level.

Speaker 4 (53:19):
Of pride that I don't think I'll experience.

Speaker 3 (53:23):
And so I'm glad that I can at least see
how that makes them feel.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
We don't have a pride for that, but you have
pride in them.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
I do, absolutely, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
But you didn't make them, I know.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
Actually I made them parents, Yes I did. Oh, I
sure did.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
Hey, guys.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University.
Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could
go after what I actually want and I could really
make a difference. Well, you are not alone, and this
is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University.
For over fifty years, Walden has helped working adults like
you get the w with the knowledge, the skills and

(54:02):
everything you need to build the future that you want.
And you can make a difference where it matters most.
If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it.
Head to WALDENU dot edu and take that first step.
Walden University set a course for change, certified to operate
by SHIV.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
Ready.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
This is our IRL bowl of IRL questions, so pick one.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
They're just like questions about real life. Oh, with two hands.
Nobody's ever gone on the ball with two hands?

Speaker 4 (54:32):
M what is it?

Speaker 3 (54:34):
I'm at my best when about three things. I'm at
my best when I'm rested. I'm at my best when.

Speaker 4 (54:48):
I am nourished.

Speaker 2 (54:50):
Food.

Speaker 4 (54:51):
Yes, yes, I got to nurish ourself. I don't want
to wither away. And I'm at my best when.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
I'm around people that that make me love who I am. Yeah,
I'm and I'm gonna mention when I'm high. Okay if
nobody's asked, Okay, Well, I'm trying to raid the fridge.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
My god, do you take it at one? Oh? I
love this, let's go. Mm hmmm mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
When was the last time you cried? When was this?
This is recent?

Speaker 2 (55:32):
It could be of gratitude. Doesn't have to be a
sad cry. It could be a happy cry.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
No, no, well no, I'll say I think that I
can think of the last time that I, like cried.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
Are you a crier or I have?

Speaker 4 (55:48):
I have I have crying capacities?

Speaker 3 (55:49):
Yeah, absolutely, Because we don't want to be emotionally constipated,
you know, we gotta we gotta let it out.

Speaker 4 (55:58):
I'll say, like, like last cry cry.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
April a couple of months, was it like a sad
cry or sad cry?

Speaker 4 (56:07):
It was a devastation cry. But it's okay because we're growing, learning,
you know. But yeah, I was just like.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
I am it's that savior complex. It's that, you know,
trying to be everything for everybody and realizing, oh I
am stretching myself a little too thin here, you know.
So so yeah, that was the last time at least
a sad at least a sad crow.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
What do you do when you because that is that
is a thing that is pretty common when we stretch
ourselves too thin.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
How do you recognize it? And how do you get
out of it? How do you adjust?

Speaker 4 (56:42):
Adjust?

Speaker 3 (56:48):
For me, it's listening to my body. I think it's
important that you do check in with yourself because if
you don't sit down, your body will sit you down.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
I know.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
And have you ever been sat down?

Speaker 1 (57:01):
Because I at least twice maybe three times.

Speaker 3 (57:05):
When I tell you, my body will will be like
you keep playing with me. Absolutely, and we have to
treat We have to treat our bodies like the machine
that it is.

Speaker 4 (57:16):
You know, and it will it will work for you
if you work with it.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
So, oh my god, this I had the best advice
from this. I went to a doctor and I was
had been getting vertigo. I've been like dealing with this
vertical shit whatever. So I went to the doctor and
he told me. He said, I'm just going to say
this to you. You require four things. Everything else is
a want.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
You have four needs.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
You have to eat, you have to drink, you have
to move your body, and you have to sleep and
everything else, family, career, love, whatever, everything else is a want.
So if you're not getting your four necessities, you have
to reorganize your wants because what you can't do because

(58:02):
I was like, you know, I haven't slept because I've
been trying to and I haven't been drinking as much.
But well, yeah, I know I need to go to gym,
but I haven't because this is so you're you're sacrificing
your four needs for the once, which is wrong because
that will put you in the hospital.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
And maybe he represents like a lot of athletes.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
He's a doctor for like a lot of athletes and stuff,
and he said anytime in athletes in the hospital, I
can say to them pretty confidently.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
Have you been eating, drinking, sleeping and moving, moving and body?
If I ask all four.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
Things, I guarantee you most people in the hospital something
is not one of the needs of not being met.

Speaker 4 (58:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
Yeah, So just start there. And I don't know that
ship that's that.

Speaker 3 (58:41):
It sounds so simple, but it's your body will baby, right,
it really will.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
Like I don't know, because you have to shift, you
have to work so hard. I didn't. I couldn't sleep
all my hours. Yeah, well, we have to guess what's
gonna happen to you?

Speaker 3 (58:57):
Yeah, no, your body gonna take that rest and at
the most opportune time.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
You going down?

Speaker 4 (59:01):
Yeah? One more?

Speaker 2 (59:03):
All right? Fine? Last one? Well, then I have two
a couple of my own.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
If you could instantly master any skill, what would it
be speaking any in every language?

Speaker 2 (59:12):
Ooh you in every language?

Speaker 4 (59:15):
That would be baby, wait till I wait till I
get my espaniol together. Okay, because kaya.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Not just speaking. That would mean that you could sing
in every life.

Speaker 4 (59:23):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
Somebody told me, wait, I know exactly, teld me intelligence
told me that I need to sing uh no business
in Spanish and I need to I need to get
that together.

Speaker 4 (59:32):
Can you teach me?

Speaker 2 (59:33):
So my Spanish is awful? I'm so ashamed that I'm
sorry to say.

Speaker 4 (59:38):
And then we have Martinez not knowing a bit of
s Spaniel.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
No, it's not. I do know a bit. I don't
know enough to teach you, and then I'll teach you wrong,
and then everybody's gonna blame because my Spanish is not
that great. It's really I know.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
I can sing that, I go order food, I could
get out, I could move around in any country, you know,
in the country, but it's it's embarrass to my people
if I speak public I need that is something that
I used to be embarrassed that I used to apologize
or be embarrassed about.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
It is what it is. I work on it, I
try to. It's something I definitely want to get better.

Speaker 4 (01:00:12):
At it now that it is what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
I'm third generation. What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do? Okay? In real life?
What are you most proud of about yourself? This is
more like a speed right.

Speaker 4 (01:00:24):
My audacity? Mm hmmm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
In real life? What do you pray for most?

Speaker 4 (01:00:30):
Mm hmm. Then I wish a nigga would.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
You pray.

Speaker 4 (01:00:41):
You know, right of myself?

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
And I'm niggas, But she would take that trash out okay,
she would fold them clothes up.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
What is one thing on your real life bucket list
bucket lists that you'd like to check off?

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
Mm hmm do you have one?

Speaker 4 (01:01:06):
Damnt been sky diving? I went to Fiji?

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Oh my god?

Speaker 4 (01:01:11):
A real life bucket list? Though?

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
What is that? Scared of those? You know that scared
of what? How you just go for it?

Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
I'm just like, but what is the.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
You don't have the bucket list item? Nothing? It has
to be well.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
I definitely want to go to I definitely want to
go to China and like, there's so many different spots
that I would love.

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
To Yeah, yeah, but do but do.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
I mean even career wise, I'm sure there's things you
want to do.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
And you know what the super Bowl as an independent artist?
Who and why not? Ain't know what?

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
Kendrick meet me on side stage?

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
Yeah, we'll do that.

Speaker 4 (01:01:47):
Yeah, let's let's do that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Super Bowl as an independent artist?

Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
Independent artist?

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Have you even been tempted to not be an independent artist?

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
Not necessarily tempting, because there hasn't been anything that has
presented itself that was fair for everyone involved.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
And I'm and just to.

Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
Reiterate anytime that I mentioned that I'm independent, it's not
to say, oh I don't need no help, you know, No,
it's just look at how far we've gone using what
little bit of resources that we've had, you know. So
that's that's why I but I'm listening. I'm open to
help as long as it's fair for everybody involved.

Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
What about legacy, Like, what do you want that to be?

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
I would hope first and foremost that I I inspire
people to be kind to themselves, you know, give yourselves
grace and to really take inventory on the people that
are in your life. A lot of times we hold
onto things because we've known people so long. And just
because you've had history where somebody doesn't mean you have

(01:02:57):
a future. So it's important that we are putting in
our best and sometimes our best varies, you know, but
you and give yourself grace. I would also love to
leave behind just a plethora of ways that you can
be creative and push the limits and step outside of

(01:03:19):
the box. And you don't have to say this is
what I am. You know, I can say what I
prefer or what is nice. But I don't want to
be just married to one thing. You know, life and
all these things are meant to be lived and experienced.
So live and experience the life.

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
That leads me right to my last question.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
If God would to text you right now he sent
your text, what would it say.

Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
Oh, You're welcome and not for nothing God as a
black woman. So I'm I, Yes, You're welcome them because
I was I was giving life and I've been nurtured

(01:04:05):
and covered by by black women all of my life.
And yeah, they have my they have I'm forever debted,
you know, So that has been.

Speaker 4 (01:04:21):
Yeah, that's that's that's gonna be You are welcome, Thank
you for being here.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
She she was.

Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
She did, she is okay because she the next morning, for.

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
It's been too long, seeing s been gone.

Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
Deil's good when I'm with you, ih you, and she says,
You're welcome for that voice took.

Speaker 5 (01:04:46):
Life.

Speaker 4 (01:04:49):
This is Duran Bernard in real life.

Speaker 2 (01:04:52):
Hey guys, thanks for watching.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
Make sure you subscribe, like comments, and check out all
of the other episodes we have on Edge.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
Martinez I R O Podcast

Speaker 4 (01:05:00):
Bangum Bang Bangum Bang