Nia Long: Stop Relying On Pretty & Start Knowing Your Worth

Award-winning actress and producer, Nia Long joins Angie Martinez to talk about if all the years of success changed her, her experience on set for ‘Boyz In The Hood’ with Laurence Fishburne, and what her DMs look like. Plus, a voice note from a fan who wants to get glammed up, and why she isn’t apologizing for knowing what she knows.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
That would make me a cooler hate you as a coolgar.
I forgot about that for a seconds.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
So what happens to your dms after they do that? Girl?
My phone right now? If I opened my DMS, you
would die. Can we do that?

Speaker 1 (00:14):
That would be so much fun? Hey, thanks for watching, guys.
This episode is brought to you by boost Mobile. I'm
so excited because me along as here today.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
And when I launched this podcast on my initial wish list,
it was.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Like Lauren London me alone. It was it was like
four or five names.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
I love Lauren, you love her, I love her down,
she loves you.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
I know we love each other. You know what's funny?

Speaker 3 (00:48):
After I launched and did my Lauren episode, we talked
a lot about the pod because she loved what I
was doing.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
And she always also would say, you need to have nea.
I'm like, I know, we're trying. That's my baby. She's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
I think I don't know what was happening during that time,
but I remember we talked, well, oh, I do.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Know what was happened during that time.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
And I didn't want to talk at all about anything,
and you weren't ready, but I did tell you.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
I loved you and that I said I'd be here
one day, and here I am, and here you are today.
All right, let me do an intro for you. Guess
is been that it Girl?

Speaker 3 (01:26):
An award winning actress and producer, this lady has spent
more than three decades defining culture, from classics like Love Jones,
Soul Food, best Man to her current role as Catherine Jackson.
She's built a longevity that is almost unheard of in Hollywood,
A true icon. Her name has become like hip hop
shorthand for the ideal woman.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
I have a whole list of like all the rap songs.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
You're in and off screen, she's remained the force in
beauty and fashion.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
She just recently was starring in a Skims ad which
I saw her at the Skims event.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, she had a recent Playboy spread and she's become
the first ever North American brand ambassador for Este Lauder.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
As long as our guest today on IRLS. So when
we first wanted you on, it was a weird time
in your life. But where are you now? What are
the headlines? Oh man?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
This chapter, the headlines are I come in peace, but
I don't give a fuck. Is that a good that's
a good love that I think, and I think that
I come in peace. Part is I come with my
full self in peace, wanting to inspire. But I also
really know myself well and I'm i'm I'm so settled

(02:37):
in my in my skin and in my thoughts and
in my intentions that I don't second guess the things
that I know anymore.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
And that's a really great place to be as.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
A woman because you you, it just trims so much
of the fat and you get to just arrive and
be in the space that feels really comfy for you.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
And sometimes it turns people off, but I don't that's
the part where you got on Gia.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
I know that's the part. You have to grow into
it and not give a shit about.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
You cannot care at all.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
You can be kind, but I'm more interested in being
kind and finding the truth and being nice and having
power or sacrificing anything about your truth to overcompensate for
like trying to make somebody feel.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Warm, if fuzzy, yeah, comfortable?

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Why do we do that? Why do we do that?
And why do we do that? For so long?

Speaker 1 (03:30):
I think women are programmed to be the you know,
we're the elixir. We're the thing that smooths everything over,
and it's not always for us, it's for everyone else involved.
And so when you get to a certain age or like,
the only elixirs I'm putting on my face, I'm the
only elixir I'm interested are the ones that I'm putting

(03:50):
on my face, Advanced night repair, Like, let's do that.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
But I don't want to have to do that for
situations and people that are adults that are responsible for
their choices.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
And we all talk about that, and you know how
many people think, yeah, I don't give a fucking I'm like, no,
she does.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
And then there's certain women I'm like, she, really, she
really doesn't. It's such a good thing.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
And like I and I care about the things that
I should care about. I care about the things that
actually mean something to me. I care about humanity. I
care about the big things. But the little things, it's
I will bulldoze straight through them to get to my truth.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Will you not always like that? No?

Speaker 1 (04:30):
I think I think I think I was, But it
was it was out of fear.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Now it's out of understanding of self.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
You know, when you're born in Brooklyn, grew up in
South central you wake up one day in your twenties
and you're a star, You're like, who can I trust?

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Especially when you're famous, it's hard because everybody wants a piece.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
And everybody just they change and they think you've changed,
and it's like, no, I'm the same. Really, has fame
not changed you at all? I think?

Speaker 1 (05:04):
I mean, I live such a normal life where I
go to the grocery store, I really.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Will have an assistant. I'm very like I have no assistance. No,
I can't deal. Who books your manicure? I do? Who?
Uh schedules the car to my team? So you have
a team.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
I'm a team, but I don't have someone like wiping
my ass at home? But I don't have like a
personal at home ass. Is not that a systant is
supposed to wipe your ass?

Speaker 2 (05:32):
That was horrible. I shouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
But you know what I'm saying, Like, I don't have
the The cadence of my life is dictated by me
and my choices moment to moment if I stick it,
because I'm also I change my mind about those things
in a day, Like I might have a plan yesterday
to get up tomorrow and go to the gym, and
then get a wax, and then go get my nails done,
and then pick my son up from school and go

(05:55):
have sushi after school.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
I could wake up and go, I'm not doing any
of that.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
I'm actually gonna stay right here in my bed and
I'm gonna call you know.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I always go get my baby from school. But I.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Really try to honor myself in the moments when I can,
because there's so many moments when I can't. You know
what it's like when you have to show up a
certain way. You have to have those conversations, those prayerful moments,
the meditation, the reinforcement, and you have to have people
around you who understand who you are and know how
to be supportive of what your demands are.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
I love that being able to switch your day like that,
especially if you have an off day. Oh it's so good.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
My mother was at my house the other day and
I was in pajamas all day watching dumb ass shit
on TV, and she went out and she did dish.
My mother can't sit still and she comes back and
she's like, you're still in the bed in your pajamas.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
I said, yes, can you believe Yes, I am, And
it's amazing, and I don't want any judgment at all.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Learn this, and we have to give ourselves those days
I know we need because they're like reset days, you know,
where you just do nothing and you decide, you know.
I find that those days are really like the moments
when I can think about designing my week. I do
that usually after the farmer's market every Sunday, I sit

(07:23):
and I designed my week.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
How does that calendar out?

Speaker 1 (07:26):
I go to the farmer's market, get all the fresh juices, dips.
I'm a dip girl. Are you a dip girl? No,
but I'm interested.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
You got to come to law to be a dip girl.
I'm interested and I'm down.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
I'm delf this for that. I would like to try
that some hummus. Okay, sure, like little dips. So I
go and I do that.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Are you by yourself when you do this?

Speaker 1 (07:47):
I take my son, Okay, he's big gas well, because
he's I play the victim a little bit. I'm like,
mommy really needs you to carry the back.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
I can't. It's true. Like I'm like, okay, how he's fourteen,
but he's it's almost six feet.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Tak okay, And he still was like okay mom, Yeah, no,
we're we're real close. We have a special that's my guy.
And then my older one just moved back home. I'm
so now I have both of my babies.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yea nice. Yeah, it's weird when they go away and
they come back, right, It's weird when they go away
and come back with a girlfriend. Oh, how is that? Well,
he's had the same girlfriend for a long time. She's lovely.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, But it's also what's challenging is when you have
to say to them it's time to grow up.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Have you had that conversation?

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Part of it is understanding the world that they're in,
and then the other part of it, I think for
me is knowing when, okay, give me my titty back.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Really, but what does that look like in the real world?
Do you like cut you off? Like?

Speaker 1 (09:01):
No, it's it's it's it's a grace that you give them.
It's being supportive, it's being there to kind of help
them through but not coddling, but not coddling and holding accountable.
And if you say you're going to do something, you
need to do it and get yourself organized and have
yourself prepared. You're not as smart though, right, He's really smart.
Both of my kids are like smarter than me for sure.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
Really, I think, So, how do you do that as
a mom? I don't know this. I'm sure it came
for me.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Let me just take all the credit right now, right kidding.
I talk to them a lot. We talk about everything,
and I'm inappropriate sometimes and they love it and they
know that no matter how busy I am, I'm there
for them. But I also say, like I'm going in
my room, do not bother me, and I close my

(09:51):
door and I stay there for as long as I
need to and they don't bother you.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
No.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
Sometimes on the pile, we've had conversations about like CARTI
was here. It's talking about how it was important for
her to teach her son.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
How to treat women. You know, no is no and
you know just what was the other one?

Speaker 1 (10:13):
Oh and and karma, how you treat women will come back.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
To you and you know it was something like for her.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
So I just wonder for you with your two boys,
like what were your I mean, obviously you made them
smart somehow you had that whenever it was.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well they but I think I think you there's you know,
my older son is very interested in facts and the
world and uh like kind of like he's very entrepreneurial,
but he's there's a he can fix anything. I didn't
teach him that. I think people are just wired the

(10:48):
way they're wired. And then my my younger one is
he's a Scorpio like me. He's very he's more emotional,
but he's like his his i Q and his EQ,
especially his EQ is off the chain. He's like, well
that wasn't very.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
What did he say the other day?

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Where's the emotional maturity in all of this? Like you know,
like he he and I love that. I love that
because imagine what kind of man he's going to be
to understand these things that we are struggling with as
women with men to connect. So he understands that and
I try to teach them both. They both have it,
but he but the little one was almost born with it.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Wow, Like he has this.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Innate understanding of life and his own feelings or you
can express them. Yes, if I do something, he's he says, well, listen,
I can I explain to you how that made me feel?
And I'm like, yes, doctor Udoka, please please tell me.
And he breaks it down that and I just said,

(12:01):
like if you can break it down like that, I'm
going to take all accountability every single thing you just said.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
And you are raising.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Someone's husband, someone's future husband. Yes, and they should be
very grateful to you. Yes, that their future husband will
be emotionally mature. Yeah, which is what a lot of
women are struggling with these times. I thought I was
the only one, and then I realized, like, oh, everyone's

(12:28):
this is a thing, what with men being challenged in
that area. Oh yes, I mean historically though, So.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
I don't know what planet I've been on a D.
I thought it.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
I thought I didn't really, I really just thought it
was the ones I was picking.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Did you thought you were choosing all of the emotionally
choosing all changed guys in the planet. No, they're everywhere.
Finding the ones that are not is the TRD part.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
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Speaker 3 (14:21):
If he's emotionally intelligent and emotionally evolved, yeah, what package
does that come in? I don't even need you to
be that emotionally evolved.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
I just need you to.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Be willing to meet me where I am and understand.
I could teach you, but you can't be emotionally immature
and then buff me every time.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
You know, boff no, what is that? But it's it
like a West Indian thing? You buffin me? Don't buff me?
What is it like? Don't don't give me a hard time?

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Got it because you're because you're not on the same
page emotionally as I am. I need you to just
be open. Well, what does that look like for you?
Because maybe our versions the different to me?

Speaker 3 (15:00):
I think an emotionally healthy man, yes, and we'll we'll
talk about that made me feel insecure, or that made
that hurt my feelings, or that made me that didn't
make me feel connected to you or whatever the real

(15:21):
thing is, versus acting up, versus deflecting or just heaven
an attitude or whatever things they do to cover up
from actually just saying right, how you feel about something right?
That's your version of its time too, Yeah, the version
of that challenging for.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
Something that's I don't think it's even in their DNA.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
Well not your son, clopp man in this room, if
that's in your DNA.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
With glam because you spent a lot of time with women,
I'm sure. Yeah, you see. So there's one, two, there's
like six men in here. Nobody clapped. Oh you got
back with the wine, bringing it, bringing.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
The wait, but you're doing manly things?

Speaker 2 (16:08):
Are the one, two, three, four, five? Six men in here?
How seven? How many of you think you're emotionally mature?
All of you? Are you married? Who's married? Only two?

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Only?

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Two? Okay? Do your wife think you're emotionally mature? Roger
behind the camera.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
So yeah, okay, so you're good. Okay, you're good. She
did good. She's she did good.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
It taught you, she told you, she trained you. But
but here's the thing. Yeah, but can we bring the
wine first? For I have this thought, are we drinking wine?
Out of red cups. Oh, we are so good, right, No, no,
let's do these glasses. I will even get rid of
my water. Wait, I don't want to forget the start. No,
we won't tell me.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Fuck me, I already forgot it. No, here it is
wine first cheers. Hello, Oh my gosh, thank you finally
made it.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
Can you imagine? Mm hmmm. So what I was thinking was.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
M we were talking about emotionally challenged men. Yes, I
often wonder, and just not in my not just in myself,
but my friends, my girlfriends who date a type of man. Right,
and then when you decided a point in your life,
I need a different type of man. Yeah, because I

(17:44):
would imagine you've had this experience when you're in that
moment of like I have, I need to choose different.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Type of man. Maybe I should leave the balls at
the gym. I need a different genre. Can men be genres? Yeah?
I can't be sure. Why not they put us some genres?
They sure do. So, by the way, what genre are
we in?

Speaker 1 (18:09):
Well, now, I'm afraid to say, because we're fifties, we're
kind of like coogar genre. I'm not I'm never gonna
be that. And I don't and do not call me
an auntie.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Oh my god, I will kill you. I will kill you, yeah, will.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Unless I'm actually your auntie exactly, then it's okay.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Yeah, because if I am not, I don't know what.
I don't even know you. I don't know you. Why
Why am I your auntie? That's gotta go. Not good?

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Okay, So those are the categories they put us in.
What are the categories that we put them in?

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Baller?

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Baller?

Speaker 2 (18:46):
I mean one of the other categories. We don't even know.
That's how badly we need to sway a minute. Have
you only dated athletes? No? No, you are married to
an actor. No, he's not an actor. He he was contractor.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
And I'm on set or something right now, because the
Internet just makes it up.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Okay, so he was a contract and.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
I've never been married, by the way, you weren't married.
I have two beautiful children.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
I was engaged twice. He's got some rings.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
I do have some rings, and I will keep my
rings as you should, because I've earned those rings.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yea, had they dare anybody dare ever? Never?

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Okay, Now, listen, my children's fathers and I are good, good,
especially now I feel like now, like we're all really friends.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Like we can all go to dinner, we can all
like we're good. Yeah, because you're passed the hump. We're
past the hump. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
And it taught me a lot about my capacity to love,
like to be able to love beyond what was expected
at one time, and just to know that, like, I'm
going to have that connection with you for the rest
of my life. My children are gonna be connected to
you for the rest of my life. So why make
it miserable. We can put our differences in the past.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
We can forgive. How does that take a long time?

Speaker 1 (20:15):
And I have to keep talking this talk so I
could walk the walk.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
Oh are you convincing yourself while you're telling me?

Speaker 1 (20:21):
Yeah, because there's days when you're like is the but no, No,
I'm not convincing myself.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
But I refuse to not stay in the light in
this area. I refuse to.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
I refuse to go the dark side of of separation and.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, cull parenting because it can be dark and lonely. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Oh no, I'm sure, yes, yes, and it can be
I'm not just sure I actually know yes that yes.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
In fact, So what is the key to that? Because even.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
The time when I was what year did we launch
the pot? When were we trying to book you? And
that you were going you had just come off of
that whole public thing. Was that twenty twenty three? It's
like three years ago, four years three, four years ago.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yeah, I don't even remember the year at this point. Okay,
is it a blur? Is that whole time period of
blur for you? No, not even a blur. It was
you know, it was, it happened, and yeh, that's it.
It is what it is. It is what it is.
What are the takeaways from you? Do you uprate like this?

Speaker 1 (21:25):
Because whenever I have, you know, a defining kind of
moment in my life, I always will sit with it
for a little while. Okay, what are the takeaways for me?
What did I need to what did I need to learn?
What did I need to be shown? What did I
need to pivot or change?

Speaker 2 (21:38):
Or I don't know. That's how I manage those type
of situations.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
And I think that was that's it's it's personal and
it's internal, right, like those things that you go, oh well,
I we were talking about this before we started about
how women have the ability to be whatever they need
to be in whatever situation, and oftentimes that means you're
sacrificing a piece of yourself that you should not be
ever sacrificing. And so I think we've all been there,

(22:02):
and I think I was there. I think I was.
I was raising two kids, we were innate. It's there,
were in the middle of a pandemic, and I but
it was the best thing that ever happened to me
because it allowed me to pause. It allowed me to
pause and look at all the wonderful things that I
had done throughout the time that I was in that relationship.

(22:25):
But now I can pour everything back into myself. So
it's not about him. It's not about the the It
wasn't about them, the things, the headlines or any of
it. It wasn't about the healthy minds. It wasn't about the opinions.
It wasn't about the trash ass assistant. It wasn't about
any of that. It was about how do I preserve

(22:47):
what's left and the new way my family is now?

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Like who are we now? Because I could just.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Walk away and never talk to you ever again, and
how does that affect my son?

Speaker 2 (23:03):
No, I'm not going to do that. So you decide
I'm going to be as light. I'm going to go
into the light.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
I'll let you know what time it is. I'm not
going to pretend like some shit didn't happen, but I'm
going to also be forgiving and be your friend. And
that's good, that's healthy.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
Quickly you do that, not that quickly. It's not quickly.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
It takes time and everyone should take their time. And
it's not for everyone. But we're talking about like the healing, right,
we're talking about the family unit.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
We're talking about how.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
Do you how do you grow from how do you
grow after a breakup?

Speaker 2 (23:41):
How do you? Who are you after a breakup? That's
that's really what we're saying. That's what we're talking about.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
Because even in whether it was that one or even
your first relationship or whatever relationship, you every.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
Time you come out, you're knowing, yeah, you're a different person. Yeah,
how is that informed? Where you are now?

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Marriage was never like, oh I have to be married,
not for you.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Never felt I've never felt that.

Speaker 5 (24:04):
You took the rings though you had the intention you
were going to and listen, I thought I would, yeah,
but I wasn't the girl that said we have to
be married right now?

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Especially now that we're having a child, Like it was
more important for me to be a mother than a wife.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Well and a good mother, right, and a good mother.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, like I because I knew that I had my
own career and I didn't want to like not have
a child. I know so many women in this industry
who wait and wait and wait, and then they get
to a place where it's not possible and it's heartbreaking. Yeah,
and some.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Choose not to.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
And I respect that too, Like, whatever your choice is,
I respect that. But I knew for me that being
a mother was not an option. It was it had
to happen, and so I I.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
I picked you, and you prioritized that.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
And I prioritized that. And I had good relationships with
both of their dads and I still do.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
Yeah. But when I was talking to.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Massi's dad the other day and I was like, hey,
what should I do about because he's really good with
like kind, He's like, oh, you should do blah blah, okay, cool,
thanks you good, He's like yeah, And then my son
came over.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
I go, I ordered two brooms from Amazon.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
You should take this to your dad for his new place,
you know, Like it's just like that's basic stuff.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
But it's the way we get down. Yeah, but it's friendly.
It's like a friend. It's like, yeah, it's a friendly environment.
But there's also boundaries. Oh yeah, there's a big one.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
They would have to be yeah, right, because otherwise they'd
just be a hot mess. And your kids are probably
so much better for it and happy for it and
emotionally intelligent. Because you talk, I would imagine, just based
on what you said about.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
How you mother that, Oh, I'm very honest.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
I was going to say that there's been a lot
of dialogue, absolutely very honest about Like, listen, these are
the shortcomings, These are the strengths, These are the things
you should think about. These are my strengths, strengths, these
are my shortcomings.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Are you good at that? I am? You paused?

Speaker 1 (26:16):
I mean, because I'm like, what are my shortcomings? Patients,
I'm the most impatient person. I guess that could sometimes
you know, I'm not patient at all. Also, sometimes women
who know what they want and are I don't know.
Sometimes I don't know, Like we don't see our own
shortcomings as clearly because we're so focused on what we

(26:39):
or because I read something one of you in the
packet about Laurence Fishburne would critique you in the first movie.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Is that true? Or he gave me some critique that
may do better?

Speaker 3 (26:52):
He gave me and I thought, I wonder how she
deals with somebody pointing out something she could do better.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
I love it, you do, okay, I really, especially if
if I respect the person.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
I I just went to a whole round of a place.
But there's something about.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
There's something about that that shows up in every area
of your life. Exact ability to take creative criticism. It's
also the ability to know that if I respect this
person in there, he was also at the time, I
was an ingenue and he was a big stage right,
So I'm going to take heed to what my I
don't want to say elders, but what the generation of

(27:27):
grapes came before me, what they have to say.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
And you knew that even in that time.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, because I was struggling in the scene, because remember
the reaction in the scene is when this is boys boysthood,
you're twenty almost twenty or not even nineteen something in there, Wow,
and Ricky gets shot.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
But that's not happening in real time.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
It's a STEADI cam shot of me running across the
ground the yard.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
Ricky just got shot. The shot goes to.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Laurence Fishburne, then to QBA and then it goes across
the street and you see what has happened.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
So I am the.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Messenger of the bad news. So I had to come
in hot and I had never done that before. So
the first time I came in hot, but I wasn't
hot enough. And Laurence Fishburne took me to the side
and he said, I want you to think about what
you're doing right now and what just happened.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
Now go do it again and be hysterical. And I
was like, okay.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
And I was afraid because I'm young, not afraid of
him because he was lovely to me, but just wanted
to get it right.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
And it was good and it worked. What did you do?
How do you get there? I didn't have time to
think about it. It was like, just go And what
it was is I didn't I didn't allow myself to
feel self conscious.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
And I think that's big when you're a young actor,
is like you just don't feel self conscious.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Just be in that moment, just do what needs to
be done. Yeah, don't worry about how you look. Don't
worry about how you look or how somebody's receiving what
you're doing.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
That's as long as my light is right and the
camera's in the right place, not your light. In a minute,
I'm gonna start bringing my own lights to set.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
We try to have good lights here. You do have
good lights. They're good.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
They're the type of lights that you can like do
good stuff in post right if you need to, if
you need to.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah, but you know, I'm a film baby.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
So I went from like lights being and an actor
like almost like another character on set to.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
A digital world, which is a lot different, which is
very tricky.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Yeah, because the key for me, I think my superpower
is when my eyes are lit, because then I don't
have to say much.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
Do you absolutely ask for it?

Speaker 1 (29:59):
You do ask for so you have, like a seasoned
director or somebody else say and you're like, Hi, I
need these babies right here, and you asked for that.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Your eyes? What is it about the knee? What is
it about the knea? Long eyes? I don't know, tell me.
Look at them. I know they're pretty good. They're like,
what are these chestnuts? The chestnut brown? I'm in shape
now they've served you boo.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
I think I think it's like the eyes are, you know,
the windows to the soul. It's it's like cliche to
say that, but I think it's true. What I see
is what I've seen in my life can be seen
in my eyes. So if you're expressing a story, you're
expressing them through what you've seen and what you're looking at.

(30:50):
But there's a part of your past that always shows up.
So it could be pain, it could be joy, it
could be love, it could be hate, it could be
there's light and dark.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
There in the eyes, in the eyes and the eyes chicle.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yeah, and you know, have you ever looked at someone
and seen nothing in their eyes? They're just like nothing
there Ooh those people scare me. Yeah, I don't know
that I've ever, Oh I have. They're like, it's not often,
they're like almost. I wonder if we're talking about the
same person.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
I'll tell you it. Cut the cameras. There's a person
whose eyes look like.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
That to me that we know that we know that
I've been around many times.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
It's actually two people I've been around. So yes, I
know exactly what you're talking about. And it is scary
and I always wonder am I reading into that too much?
Or is it drugs?

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Is it alcohol? Is it lack of sleep? Or why
does it always look like that? Or is there something
in the.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Soul that's off.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
It's probably all that, Yeah, all of those things. It
takes time to get there, to have nothing in your eyes?

Speaker 2 (31:54):
What do you think? That is.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Probably a certain amount of just not willing to connect
to anything. You're like robotic, you're dead inside.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Sorry that sounded very harsh, but that's the same. I
think we're saying the same thing. You're dead to me.
That's such a good show. I love that show. Oh
that is a good show. What are you watching? What
are you doing for fun these days?

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Like?

Speaker 2 (32:21):
What are your things?

Speaker 1 (32:22):
I just started watching It's getting hummus on Sundays. I
just started watching the JFK Junior.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
The Love Story was the name of it? So good?
What's the name of the show? A love story? Yeah?
A love story? Yeah, I just started watching a love story.
I love it. I loved it. It was so well done.
I didn't expect to love it as that. I thought, oh,
this would be cute, I'll watch it. Takes that No,
but it was good.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
And you know what, It reminded me of It reminded
me of the nineties when I was walking down Fifth
Avenue and he jogged right past me. K junior job right, Pat,
I didn't turn my words out. We locked eyes and
I said, that is a fine ash. And I was
so young. I didn't know who he was. And I
didn't until like later, and you were like, oh my god.

(33:09):
But I had a moment with him, Like we had
a moment.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
Did he know it was you? I don't think he
knew it was me.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
I think it was, well, you didn't know it was him.
This is like I think it was just like, oh,
you're cute.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
That's like wow.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
And we had like I was like, I get it.
People say that I don't know if we had a
charisma about him that like you cannot eat. Well, you
could see it in the film. You can't even explain it.
It was just like I was literally and I will
never forget this. I was literally walking and he was

(33:44):
coming this way, and I felt this energy and I
was like and we went and then he was gone.
And then I was like, I gotta go to work. Yeah,
why was he already with the girl? I don't think
in retrospect now. No, No, I think he was. I
could have had.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
It have been your soul me and you miss could have,
But then I wouldn't be here right now? Well, then
that would really sad? You like him? God bless them
a sad story? Yeah? Are you like that?

Speaker 1 (34:13):
Like a romantic in that way where I saw him
on the train and the doors closed and that could
have been him?

Speaker 2 (34:19):
I feel like you have that in you a little bit.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
I I I think.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
New love and newness inspires like a visceral reaction in
your body. I believe in that.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
I'm still does that change? No, but now it just
doesn't last as long. When I start seeing red flags,
I'm like, let me turn this channel?

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Channel? Is that what you call it? Channel? New show,
new channel, new new network?

Speaker 1 (34:52):
But are you still open to that? Like, I don't know,
are you still open to like the grand kind of love?

Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yes? Why wouldn't you still? Like? Like, do you look
for it?

Speaker 1 (35:02):
I am more concerned about being that so that I
attract it than I.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
Am looking for it.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
You can't want something if you're not at your best.
So it's like a lot of self work.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
What does that look like? Though? The thing for me
the thing you deserve. What does that look like?

Speaker 3 (35:18):
Oh gosh, come on, I will have especially if you
know it then it will say it.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
It will, but it's personal, not what I want.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
But I'll give you a couple of things because that's
also might come and try to trick you.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
Listen after the thing that was a sound bite about
dating younger.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
Now I'm like, that's right, And I was like, this
is why you can never do a SoundBite that doesn't
actually show the full conversation.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
See in the nineties we didn't have that.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
I know the whole It wasn't bad though, because here's
a reality. I think women should date whoever they want
to date, and I don't think that age matters. I mean,
within reason, yes, But I also know myself and the
reality is is I'm not just dating younger. Like if

(36:06):
I met someone who was interesting and mature and they
happened to be younger than fine, right, but.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
It doesn't You're not like out looking for a young man.
They did not that would make me.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
A cool you as a coolgar I forgot about that
for a seconds.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
So what happens to your dms after they do that? Girl?
My phone right now, if I open my dms. You
would die. Can we do that? That would be so
much fun. I personally want to see something. Oh my god,
we're my glasses, though I can't do we need readers
my glasses. Can you maybe in my purse? I need

(36:42):
a sip of wine for this. I feel I need
to prepare my.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
I'm not going to say names, but we'll just say, like,
here's one. Lava was the one who taught me how
to read my dms?

Speaker 2 (36:51):
Are you kidding me? I didn't even know if they
were like now I do, but like at first I
was like, DMS, what's that?

Speaker 1 (36:58):
And she's like, bitch's a whole sea if in her
I'm like, oh my god, I've been missed. Was the
one to show you. I don't know why I feel
like her dms. Actually we did that on the radio
one time, we went through her dms. I love her
because her dms were popping, popping. She's like, girl, we
were doing that Dear White People. I feel like on
the set of Dear White People, she taught me I need.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
My dms to be a little popping. Do I not
give my dms should be popping by somebody? Is that?
Is it? Because I don't post third stress or is
it because you need to like the age? Is it like, no,
we just have to post. Just throw out there. I say,
be careful what you asked for. I don't really I
don't really want I was just joking. I was just joking.

(37:41):
But I do be thinking, like why don't get none?
I should be like, really inspired by your work. I
want a career in media, I was wondering.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Most of them have been telling me like, I'll sign
the NDA, shut the fuck, And I'm like, okay.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
They're like, yo, where's the NDA? I'm ready to sign?
Did they start with yo? Oh? Yeah, I have some
ratchet folks in here chet, yes, okay, yeah, definitely have
some ratchet. So first of all, this they're shooting the
shot and they're opening up with a.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
Yell, and I'm like that you don't even get to
see the paperwork with that.

Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yeah, okay, you know what I'm saying. Okay, we're gonna
find one.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
Are any of these guys like a public figuremen? There's
a couple that have the blue.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Check mm hmm do you ever reply?

Speaker 1 (38:41):
It depends on my mood, Like for shoots and giggles,
it depends how bored. I am god, why are all
the now all of them are?

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Oh oh really.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Brittany will show you, like Law'll show you how to
search this. One says, I call all CAP, but put
me on the list of sneaky links.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
You're welcome. Now, you're welcome. Did you block him and
I call Cap? You don't know you?

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Oh here's a guy. I'm just a normal every day
hold on, let me start over. I'm just a normal,
everyday young black man. And then he hasn't quotes just
a little bit. I guess that means a little bit young. Okay,
that sees you and wonders if I ever had a

(39:39):
chance to meet you and simply say hello in person.
I'm sure you get this all the time, so I
apologize if I'm wasting.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
Okay, he's too polite, too polite, too polite. Yes, we
had two ratchets, because that's not really.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Just get to the point, all right, but be honest, Nia, Yeah,
are any of them good in here?

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Yeah? I've had a couple of good ones.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
Really, But then I've watched their lives play out in
other areas and I'm like, thank god, I didn't go there.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
You go to the page and you investigate. No.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
I mean I've seen in public what they end up
public people who have DM yes, and I'm.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
Like, oh, you're kind of a hot mess. I could
have been in that story right now, you know.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Yes, So you didn't take the bait. I didn't take
the bait. I took the flowers, but not the bait.
I like flowers. Oh god, I mean there's just not
there's just not Let's see.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
This is this is a good time. I could do
this all day me too. Yeah, No, it's it's just not.
I mean I wish it was hot.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
If he's not in the d MS and he's not
ball any type of baller situation, he's not that.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
Where does he live? What? Like? How do you even?
I don't know. I ask you this not just for you,
but like the many women that I know that are
like who do you date? Yeah? Like how do you date? How?
Where do they come from? I don't want to date.
I'm so happy right now. Oh you don't want to Okay,
and I I don't even know how to date.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
Yeah, And I think it's because I've just been in
a relationship for a really long time, so dating is like, Okay,
what do we do? Okay, So we're going to dinner,
we're going to talk, and you're going to show up
as your representative and I'm going to show up as me.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
I think it's hard to date when you're us. Do
you show up as you on date one? Yeah? I
don't know how else to be, do you not? I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
I haven't dated in like fifteen years, and I.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Am, you know, I'm.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
Trying to figure out the next thing. Yes, I don't
know what that looks I don't know what that looks
like for me. But can I tell you something. You're
going to go through this thing where you're gonna be like, oh,
I want to date.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
I'm going to get hot and date and get out there.
I mean, that's what Chelsea Handler told me, and I thought,
I don't see it. That was a couple of months ago.
It hasn't. White women are different, Okay, Okay, bro, I
respect it.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
I respect them so much like they can get up
and change the channel.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Bye. Sis, sisters are a little not all.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
You can't generalize, but I would say that in my experience,
my very dear Caucasian white girlfriends are a lot more
like next.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Yeah, and I'm you know, I'm just emotional. Yeah, it
takes time.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
It takes time me too, and also like it takes
time to remember how to do.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
It, I don't know how to do it. That's what
I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (42:46):
Are you still because you're like a couple of years
out now, you still haven't figured that out.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
I've been working a lot, I mean, when you think
about it, I've been working NonStop since That's MJ right,
like since shooting that by the way.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Thank you, thank you. And then.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah, I don't know that I've had that much time
to figure to figure it out.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
I've focused on my kids.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
I know. I don't want to bring someone new in
to my son's life at this age.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
Yeah, I think it's tough. I'm all over the place.
But how fun to be able to play the mother
of Michael Jackson like it was?

Speaker 3 (43:21):
Why could you imagine? And I'm sure you've had to
imagine because you played her so sore, you've gone through
all that work in your head of Like, but I
was thinking, could you imagine being Michael Jackson and Janet
Jackson in the Jackson's Vibes? Mother wild wild? But she's
a source, she's a pillar.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
They spent a lot of time with her, right, So
I didn't meet her at auntil after I met her
at the premiere.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
And so the whole time we were shooting, I had
been wanting to meet her, but you know, it was
one of those things that like, I mean, she's Captain Jackson.
They don't just get in a car and drive and
say like, hey, it's not that so you there's a
she's she's older, you know, she's she's just turned I
think ninety.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
I want to say, yeah, she's so even who she
was when you played her. She's not that she's different.
She's different. She's a different woman. Yeah, but she's when
you meet her, she's.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
Like very quiet, very sweet, very soft, kept her eyes
on the littles, like the babies.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
I watched her watch the babies, and that was beautiful.
And I just kneeled next to her and I said,
I've been I've been waiting for this moment to meet you.
And I said, have you ever thought about the fact
that none of this would be happening without you? Makes

(44:47):
me want to cry? And she just kind of looked
at me and she started to cry. And she held
my hand and I held her hand and it was
just she's the beginning of an empire. Think about that's like,

(45:09):
that's hard. Course, she gave.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
Birth to all those children and she protected them, and
she's sacrificed, and she's a grandmother of I'm sure she's
probably got like I don't know exactly how many grand
children are, but she is queen mother.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yes, when I think about, why does that make you emotionals?
What do you think?

Speaker 1 (45:30):
Because I know the weight she had to carry to
be a place of refuge and safety for her family,
But I know that she also had to probably internalize
so many things that she couldn't speak up about, or

(45:51):
chose not to speak up about.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
No, I can only imagine.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Because she had the mother wit, the grace to know that,
like you don't have to speak on all things. Some
things are better left unset. And I think that's her
holding her. That's that divine feminine power that we all
have that you have to protect.

Speaker 2 (46:11):
That must have been great. Did you ask her how
you did that? You had to ask? I didn't ask
her that because I was like, what if she says, no,
oh God, that would be I didn't recognize that woman
at all. Get her out of here. No, I didn't.

Speaker 1 (46:23):
I didn't ask her because I know that she was
happy and all the sons were happy. How you feel,
and I could feel that she was happy. And you know,
you do these performances to tell a story, and you

(46:46):
know it changes from moment to moment. Like my interpretation
of it is not going to be the same as
when Angela Bassett did her interpretation, which was amazing. Two
different things, two different projects, two different movies. And so
I didn't want to get caught up in trying to
be Catherine Jackson. I wanted people to feel.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
What she represents.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Yes, right, and that's the baseline of the family. That's
the strength, that's the and you gotta understand, like we
shot a lot of other scenes that didn't make it
into the movie because of because of the you know,
the legal shakeups that happened towards the end. So it was,
it was, it was, it was tricky. Yeah, what is
that like for you to be? So I was looking

(47:32):
at the body of work.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
All of the movies. You're always like the hot little
the young little haughty in the movie. I hate it.
You hate the haughty rolls well because it's not I mean,
I don't know, I don't hate it.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
I don't hate it. I actually love it. I love
that I get to do that. But I think I
mean Friday, even Friday. Yeah, like the way it's I
mean it's it's I don't know, it's it's endearing, it's not.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
It's not overly sexualized. No, no it's not.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
It's like you've been put on this like ideal girl
kind of pedestal. That's the part that's tough. Yeah, because
as much as I appreciate it, I'm.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Not that girl anymore.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
I'm like, you know, we're we change as women, and
I don't want to have to live up to that
whatever that is.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
Now, Yeah, what is it to you?

Speaker 3 (48:26):
Like, because you do take your skin regimen, your beauty,
how you look, how you present like you just did
Playboy like skims.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Yeah that was great. I love that.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
Yeah, So where do you I don't know, where do
you put that, the idea of how people see you
versus how you see it yourself. I think as long
as I'm taking care of myself and it's about my
personal growth and my choice rather than then it's okay.
Rather than trying to be younger, or trying to be hot,

(49:00):
or trying you know, or trying to be the nineties
hot girl, Like I'm not.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
You're not the nineties hot girl. You still are in
there somewhere. No, she's in me. She's never going away.
But I don't need to. I don't need to walk
out the door with an agenda. I just need to
walk out the doors me.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
And some days I'm nineties hot girl Nia, some days
I'm Mamma Kia. Some days I'm carpool Nia, and some
days I'm hot mess Nian. Some days I'm red carpet Nia,
and other days I'm.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
You're going to the set to play the matriarch.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
Right, And I've gave you know, forty pounds because I'm
in menopause and I'm a grown ass woman. Like that's
I'm all of those those all of those women are
a part of who I am, and so I don't
want to be beholden to one version of myself.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
But is that tricky? Did you have to go into
that with a growing there?

Speaker 1 (50:04):
I think there's a moment that every woman walks into
the bathroom and looks in the mirror and you're like, oh,
I'm getting older, and it's okay.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Did you take it?

Speaker 1 (50:15):
That's okay, yeah, because I was like, I'm still fine,
I'm still I still feel pretty for me. Yeah, you know,
I still feel good about myself and I'm taking care
of myself so that I can preserve that.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
But I'm also.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
I can also see the things that are changing, and
that's good, like to be able to have more life,
to be able to change, to be able to know
that like one dam.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Gon to be a grandma and one day going to
have all of you know, it's it's nice. You've got
to settle into it. Either you're going to fight it
or settle into Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Yeah, I think we're I think the world sets us
up to always want to fight it.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
And it is a tough thing. You know. I struggle too.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
Sometimes I'm okay with it, and then every time I'm like,
sometimes I'm like, I don't like this.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
I don't feel like that inside, so I shouldn't look
like that on the outside. Sometimes I don't know.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Well, that's the self talk, right, Like that's the thing
that we have to get under control. And I think
as our hormones change and our bodies change, it comes
with anxiety, It comes with exhaustion, comes with imbalance of
our hormones.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
All these things are real, not like people just talking
about them. It happens.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
And so you just have to have not you, but anyone,
me myself. As long as I feel myself going down
the rabbit hole and I pause and recalibrate, I'm good.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
So you do have the feelings, you just pause and recalibrate.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
I pause today, I said. Today, I was getting dressed
and I go, God, I need to be in the gym,
and I go, But you know what, I don't want
to right now.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
I don't want to. Good for you. I want to
I'm actually at the weight that I like to be at.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
But I walked into the mirror my bron panties, and
I was like, I need to go to the job
because it's important to lift weights at this age, at
the stage. But with that the reason, no, whenever you
would because if you walk past the mirror your bron panties,
you weren't like it's important to lift weights.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
No, No, that was the reason I was. I was like,
this used to look like this and now it looks No.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
I was like, I was like, I've got good legs,
but don't start taking them for granted by not working
out go work out so they can stay nice.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
I want to go back to it, girl.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
And that theory about you being on this pedestal, right,
just when I was a young girl, that could be tricky,
like them putting you on this like pretty girl pedestal.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
I just wonder if, like Eagle had said in or,
I don't know, what does that do to a young
girl and everybody's.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Like, you're so pretty, You're so you're that girl.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
I didn't really have people coming up to me saying
you're so pretty, like and there was no social media,
and there was no social media, and I was working
like I was a worker. I started in soaps. I
moved here when I was twenty one, twenty two years old,
younger than that actually, because I I graduated high school

(53:25):
and moved straight to New York.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
I was on soaps. That was morning tonight.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
That job was hard and I think, oh, I was
telling someone the other day the moment that I realized
I was famous, and it was trippy.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
I was with Marvette Burrito, Oh, yes, publicists.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
Yeah, we were at al Roy Jones Junior fight.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
At Madison Square Garden. I feel like I might have
been at that same time. You were probably there. Everyone
was there.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Yeah, it was Spike Lee, Mike Tyson, every supermodel from
the nineties. And when I walked in, I was like,
oh my god, like this every it was packed.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
And someone on.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
The loudspeaker said knee Long just walked in and the
whole building started screaming, and I like got nervous, like
what's happening? I was like, are they doing that for me?
And then Marvett just looked at me and smiled and
she's like, come on, But like that was my part,
like I and I'm not saying this to try to

(54:35):
be like super humble girl. Like I really wasn't focused
on that. I was in survival mode. I was born
in Brooklyn. I was living in South central LA. My
mother was a single mom. I was like, how can
we get up out of this ghetto? How can we survive?

Speaker 2 (54:53):
But also, you have a gift that you're probably chasing, and.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
I was chasing my own gift, right, But I knew
that if I had che my goals, it would make
everything better.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
So I didn't have I didn't have this. Yeah, you
know how much I love him. I know I love
that I didn't have this. Oh I'm the hot girls
attitude at all. I was. I didn't not like the
models in the room probably had that whole.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
No, I didn't understand that. I was like, why are
they so uptight? Yeah, the what's going on?

Speaker 2 (55:26):
I didn't have that. I was. I was aware of
my surroundings. I was aware of you were aware that
you were getting casted, and I was aware of how
people were responding.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
But I wasn't walking into a room with a chip
on my shoulder or thinking I was the prettiest girl
in the room, or feeling like I needed to be
the number one person in the room.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
And I still don't have that. Really, you're at.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
I'm a little like silly and like like people that
know me, No, like you don't take yourself that serious. No,
It's funny because sometimes we work with people, will hire people,
and me and brit always talk about this.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
It's kind of like, I don't know, I have like
a pretty girl syndrome thing that sometimes I see. I
don't want to call it that because that's too but
like there's a thing that, especially if I'm hiring somebody
or if I'm working with somebody, sometimes in a pretty
girl I could see less effort and I don't want

(56:39):
to paint that on everybody. There's plenty of pretty girls
who work hard or whatever. But sometimes I'm like, oh,
too many people told her she's pretty, or too many
people gave her a praise for something that wasn't that great.
And I can see the difference when people are affected
by being pretty, when they when they let it seep
into they work ethic, or they took it too serious and.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
They're believing the hype and believe the hype. Bitch, do better,
Like come on, you feel like that's something that has
to do with this.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
It drives me crazy because I want to go, come on,
you're pretty, of course you are, but like that's.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
Not enough, like never enough. Come on. Man. It bothers
me because I feel almost they're selling themselves short.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Like do you feel like that's generational? Do you feel
like that's really like a pretty thing? Because I think
some of that is just smacking on eminem.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
That's okay, it's real life. This is in real life.
I feel like some of that is.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
About generation, entitlement, titlement. Can you say something they're like defensive?
I think maybe both. I think it depends on the person.

Speaker 6 (57:50):
We were grinders, We were, but not all were. Not
everyone was who from the nineties wasn't a grinder That
is still relevant right now?

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Okay, well that's a difference. That's a different story.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
But they were definitely like cute girls, prants and around
thinking that was enough. There was a lot of them everywhere.
They might not have made it because that's what they
leaned on. Yeah, pretty, there's something in that.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (58:18):
I'm sure there's some expert or some psychologists that can
break that down.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
But I do like if I only have sons, but
if I had a daughter, it would be my one
of my things that even if she was gorgeous, like
you are not going to that is not going to
be your headline correct, Like come on, we need we
need some substance because you're not always going to be gorgeous.
At some point then what happened and then I always

(58:42):
talk about like it. It reminds me of this thing
that I think often is like, you know, in high school,
I wasn't the prettiest girl, I wasn't the most popular.
I was like in the second batch, you know.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
B level.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
I was B level cute in high school, so you
had like the as and then you had me and
the you know, I was like BC, like the guys
liked me, but that was only because the A girls
weren't giving them the time of day.

Speaker 3 (59:11):
Oh so you had to also have some type of personality.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
Yes, And I was just very aloof and I would
go to school and I did great in school.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
I was always a good student.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
But what was interesting is when we all graduated and
you go back. I never go to my high school reunion.
That's like, I just don't do stuff like that. I
don't know why, but I just don't.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
I get it. Do you go? No, It's not because
I'm an actor. It's just like, what are we going
to talk about? I also, I have a difficult time
with small talk. Me too, Oh my god, I get sewing.
I have so much anxiety. It doesn't mean I can't
talk to a stranger. I could talk to a stranger
as long as it's authentic conversation. Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Okay, But what about the people I call it the
fall off, the ones that were in the A group
and you see them thirty years later, and they didn't
do the work, and they didn't grind, and they let
themselves go.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Because or life happened or listen.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
I'm not being judgmental, but what I'm saying is the
pretty thing you're talking about, yes, is like the most
popular girl in high school. So I mean, I guess
the moral of the story is is we just can't
be that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
We have to be more. Yeah, we have to.

Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
I think we have to explore all parts of ourselves
and we have to rip it open, and we have
to dig deep, and we have to heal, and we
have to figure out, like what are the things that
we're meant to do here while we're here, because it
seems like a long time it's really not. I know,
ultimately that is the quest that we should all be on.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
That's it. Why are we here? What is our purpose?
How do we serve?

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
How can we inspire humanity? How can we look beautiful
but be about it?

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Right? Like be about it?

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
And I think that's one of the biggest things I
teach my kids is to be of service because being
of service means that you are able to put your
ego away.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
M hmm. How you do that? You do? Are you?
I do love it? Okay? I love you know.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
The other day I was driving to pick up my
dry cleaning and there was this little lady on the
corner with her cane and she kept waving her cane.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Why did I put the lady in my car and
drive her home? And then she.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
And then I stepped at a red light and she
tried to jump out, so then I had to call
nine one one, and nine one one came to get her,
and she had dementia and it was just like a
whole thing. And I was like, well, and the officer
was like, I understand you were trying to do a
good thing, but like you, sometimes you gotta be careful.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
You just don't. But I felt bad.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
I was like, she's like, it's nine hundred degrees outside
and she's waving her cane. But I don't want to
stop being that person because I know a lot of
people that would just drive by and listen. I get
just driving by because some things are not your business.
But I also have a tender spot in my heart
for elderly. I have a tender spot in my tender
spot in my heart for people that are just hard

(01:02:16):
working people, you know that just come to my house
every week and they do their jobs and we sit
and we chat for a minute, and like there's an
exchange of energy. I admire that they don't it does
I don't. I'd rather that conversation than, to your point,
chit chat. Yeah, because the chit chat drives me crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Oh my god, I'm so bad at it. But I
just felt like, oh, she really wants me. First time.
I don't know. It was so sweet.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
It was it was so genuine, right, But I always
felt our conversations were genuine for sure. We had a
lot of mutual friends yea and things like that, But
I never realized until this conversation, are you like, do
you have a now?

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
I feel like you should hang out all the time.
I hate loud. I hate loud. I hate loud.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
I hate too much talking Sometimes it makes me like that,
like I get buzzy. But see, and I don't like
multiple things sounds at the same.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
Time, one thing at a time. Stick to what we're
talking to. I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
I just sound like ass No, she's not, she's laughing
because you're like my twin soul.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Right. I can't. I can't. My nervous system can't handle it.
But you know what I think it is?

Speaker 3 (01:03:27):
I will literally and I realize it's rude after and
I don't care if it's true.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
Know, if I'm taking care of myself, I gotta take
like wait and it will not because I want to
shush somebody. It's just because I need.

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
It's like if you're talking to me and they're talking
to me, everybody's.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Oh my god, Oh my god, it's like a nervous breakdown.
It's like a mini panic attack. We are best friends,
decided to do not disappear from to l.

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
Ah your guest house. God, Oh my god, oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
All right, we have some in real life questions. We
must get to a poice note. Yes we can. We
have a voicetow segment. Somebody sends in. We say we
have nia long on the show. They send us a note.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
Baks, do it right now. That's rue.

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
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thinking wow, what a great price, and then a few
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Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
Your bill is higher. We hate that.

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Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
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(01:04:54):
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Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
And who is this person that were Do we know
a name? Your mom, your fama? What's her name? And
I Anna? Hi, Annaana? Okay, let's hear it.

Speaker 7 (01:05:14):
Hey, Ania, I've been such a fan of yours for
so long. I love your movies like Boys in the Hood,
and love Jones, especially.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Outside of your work. You're also just such a beautiful woman,
such a beauty icon.

Speaker 7 (01:05:30):
My question is what's the most insane way to get
snatched or get ready before a big event. I have
a girl strip coming up and I just want to
look hot.

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
Just give me some tipps.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
She didn't see the part right said, I need to
go to the gym. It doesn't matter. Nobody cares about
whatever you saw in the mirror that said you needed
to go to the gym. You people think of you
as a hot girl forever, hot girl.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
You know, well, okay you no, no, But I I'm
a big walker.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
I love walking, And that's one of the reasons I
love coming home because I get to walk everywhere. Like
I'm literally gonna leave here, go get my mom from
the hotel, and go walk. I'm a little worried about
my hair because I gotta work tomorrow, but it looks
so good. I'm just gonna just go with it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
Thank you. Yeah, this is gonna sound cliche, but lots
of water. I do a thing. This is my new thing.

Speaker 1 (01:06:22):
I take clothes, the dry clothes, and I take ginger
fresh ginger and a cinnamon stick and I make a tea.
The cinnamon stick regulates your blood sugar, so you don't
go up and down and get hungry. I put it
in the fridge. I get it really cold, and you
can add hydration powder, you can add whatever else you

(01:06:42):
want to it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
And I sip on that all day.

Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
If you drink cold tea or hot tea, it curbs
your appetite, it flushes you out. It keeps you alert.
It's hydrating clothes, cinnamon, ginger.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
And water and water like a tea. Boil it on
the stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
Let it boil, simmer when it cools down, pour it
into a glass. Because we don't do plastic anymore. Well,
try not to do plastic. Try really hard.

Speaker 2 (01:07:11):
Red cups. I know, but red cups are kind of
like a thing for black people and brown people. You
can't like, just like you're all about the environment, but
I'm so.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
Hard we're those red cups because some people aren't gonna
know what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:07:29):
People know what red cups are. Everybody a red cup
is stop. There's an emoji in the phone, a red
cup of Moji. Everybody knows what a red cup is,
but have they seen him in person? You want to
show a cup, I'm just saying, like you want to
drink out of the cup. No, we have We're gonna
do this, but I'm sad like we used to do that.
This is a red cup guys for you young ins

(01:07:53):
that don't they know, especially, oh they do. I didn't know.
Maybe had Patty the Bell on the podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:07:58):
I saw that. I didn't see the interview, but I
saw that she was coming. I didn't actually see it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
I love her.

Speaker 1 (01:08:04):
She's amazing, she's amazing, she's a national treasure.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
She is.

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
She told me that when she was coming up, she
would drink out of these red cups or plastic cups.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
She would drink wine out of them.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
And Nina Simone said to her, no, dolly, you must
drink out of crystal.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
And what did she call it. There was a word
for it. She called it fluff up, fluffing up.

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
Oh, I like that, right, Patty LaBelle says, Ever since then,
it's crystal for her. She drinks her wine out of crystal,
drink her water out of crystal.

Speaker 2 (01:08:39):
So no more, no more of the ease, okay, sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
And also they're not going for the environment. They're terrible
for the environment. You see, we've evolved. And if Patty
says we should drink out of crystal, then we're drinking.
Simone says that we're all drinking.

Speaker 2 (01:08:54):
I mean, those are our those are our girls. Then
I think we must drink out of crystal. I think so.
By the way, Oh this was good. Oh you know
what these are. We're not gonna have time for this today.
Do you know how many rap lyrics you're in have
you done this?

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
So many?

Speaker 2 (01:09:08):
So many? Okay, just really quick Neolong and a cherry thong,
ne Along and a cherry thong sipping on pair and young.

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
Okay nas that was Ucci Wally right mm hmm. My
only regret was too young for me a long.

Speaker 2 (01:09:25):
That was a big one. That was a good one.
That was because it was like on a hit record.

Speaker 1 (01:09:29):
That was old and they paused me. That made me
a hot mom.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
Because that was like when my kids were younger. Oh
so you showing up to the school.

Speaker 1 (01:09:39):
Like, yeah, well, y'all are too young?

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
What did the kids say? How did the kids feel
about that? I mean we're talking about private school in LA.

Speaker 1 (01:09:51):
There were very few probably who knew the song, but
no your kids, Oh my kids.

Speaker 2 (01:09:55):
My kids were like. My kids were like, wow, like
my mom is cool. You know they think yeah the
rap song. Mm hm. Trinny Bourne black like ne Along's grandmother,
five dog, five.

Speaker 3 (01:10:09):
Dog, looking like looking like I could be Along boy
smoking that cheech.

Speaker 2 (01:10:18):
And chohnk oh, Missy Elliott, Yeah yeah, touch it. Short
hair like ne alone, hair like Neil Loose ones should
don't need alone like me alone? Short, short hair like
nea along is that like?

Speaker 1 (01:10:38):
That is juicy J juicy J Okay, okay, thanks Juicy.

Speaker 2 (01:10:43):
Couldn't keep it at home. Thought I needed a knee alone.
Kanye touch this guy. That's a pretty good one. It's
safe to say. Like the rappers, they like you. Yeah,
I like them? You do, I do. Have you ever
tried that bucket?

Speaker 1 (01:10:56):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
I should? I got all I now it's gonna be
like she switched from Young Boys to rubbers. Jeezy was
absolutely shooting his shot? Was he? He said that it
was pub I don't know. You didn't get the vibe.
Now we had a conversation and he was lovely. He's lovely,
he's lovely. Well, he said he was shooting a shot.

(01:11:19):
But you need along. I think most rappers are going
to shoot their shot. But you know, the shot shooting
has not been so good.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
Sometimes I'm like, I am like traditional, ask me to
go to dinner. You don't want like a slick little
I don't need a slick I got to figure it out.
I need you to come. I think you're interesting, I
think you're beautiful. Can I take you to dinner?

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
Does that happen? Never? Never? Because it's always like I
think It's like, I hope you didn't just tell them
how to do it, And now everywhere you go I think,
I think you're beautiful. Can I take you to dinner? Hey, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:11:56):
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Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
All right, go in your IRL bowl. Pick a question.

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
Oh, if this were your last day on Earth, what
would you be doing.

Speaker 2 (01:12:44):
I'd be eating ice cream, EM and MS and watching
a movie in bed with my kids and my mom.
That's a good day. That's a great day.

Speaker 1 (01:12:57):
It's a great day, and we'd be very dehydrated because
we have advanced night repair.

Speaker 2 (01:13:03):
Ryan, where's the products? Products? I bring the products.

Speaker 1 (01:13:07):
I feel like gang show music.

Speaker 2 (01:13:11):
There's products. Yay, Okay, what is so? Okay? I gotta
put my glasses on. Oh my god, this is this
spright here, this is my holy grail. I love this
so much. It's advanced night repair.

Speaker 1 (01:13:28):
It's been around forever, and it's a serum you can
I this is how I use.

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
She uses this now till the trip.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
Oh yeah, that's actually a great because.

Speaker 2 (01:13:40):
It'll give the glow.

Speaker 1 (01:13:42):
It'll give the glow of like I've been taking care
of myself. So at night, wash your face, do your
routine of washing your face. Then you want to pat
yourself dry. I like to put a thick coat on
and go to bed. I wake up in the morning,
fine line's gone, your face is feeling good, and hydrate it.
But I also do it throughout the day. If I'm
on a plane, you're traveling, put in your purse. Oh

(01:14:05):
my god, I've been on so many planes late.

Speaker 2 (01:14:07):
It's so good. Can I peep me this? That's yours?

Speaker 1 (01:14:09):
Okay, good sures You can open it to.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
Night repair, but it doesn't have to be night, like
if I'm on the plane, I.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
Mean, they say night repair and I get in trouble
for this every time. But honestly, you can do it, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
Right Ryan. They recommend that you use it morning and night.
Thank you, Thank you, Ryan, Thanks Ryan. I need it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:36):
If you just put it right here, I'm good. It's
the wine, Oh my god. And then it isn't that nice?
It's even on your hands. I put it on my hands.
And then this is the revitalizing. According to Chris Rock,
that's how women could tell their age. Chris Rock, I
want to see his hands.

Speaker 2 (01:14:52):
You gotta get him on the pod because I want
to give him a piece of my mind. We should, Chris,
where are you? I've never booked somebody to give them
a piece of my mind. My god, that would He's
so good. I have so many people I would like
to give a piece of my mind to this. Right
here is the revitalizing supreme plus. I'll take that. I

(01:15:13):
just need it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
You can.

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
You can you see the difference? You see? Yeah? I'm
into it. Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:15:30):
I love that you dad and pat your own makeup, and.

Speaker 2 (01:15:36):
I'm for thank you. Okay. We're best friends, so you're
best friends. We've just been We've just been separated by distance.
Did you try this? Know what I do?

Speaker 1 (01:15:44):
This is the revitalizing supreme plus do with this on
top of this. You can put it on top of this.
But this, you're gonna put it on top of your makeup.

Speaker 2 (01:15:53):
No, this is the neck cream that goes face to neck. Yo,
Kiki was not lying because your nick is good. It's good,
but you got to work on it.

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
I know my neck is okay. Their neck is good,
it's not like yours. You like a baby, because you.

Speaker 2 (01:16:11):
Gotta go, you have to massage it. I'm so bad,
I'm left. I'm good, ready to go.

Speaker 1 (01:16:17):
No, I literally spend hours in the bathroom in the morning.
Really yes, that would make me and I got to
bed at nine. That would make me really ninth.

Speaker 2 (01:16:26):
I'm such a dud. I'm really dead. No, we get it.
I want to let this go. I want this to
just I don't want to edit this either.

Speaker 1 (01:16:38):
I want us to have four minutes on camera running
the screen through our neck. Now, put the excess on
your hands. Though it's good, like your cuticles, it's so good.

Speaker 2 (01:16:47):
I definitely use too much.

Speaker 1 (01:16:48):
Right, No, I I am I am a such thing.
I don't think there's any such thing as too much.
Never the more, the isn't that nice? That's really you see,
that's really good leaves a nice sheen. Uh yeah, all right,
I'm telling you, thank you, Na so exciting.

Speaker 2 (01:17:08):
There's more goodies for you too, there is Yeah, we can't.
We came. We came with m h he is who
is it? So so beautiful? You just you just had
to insert that time? Do you have a thing for

(01:17:29):
the guy?

Speaker 1 (01:17:31):
No? He was beautiful, beautiful man.

Speaker 2 (01:17:35):
It's actually I was like, is this is really good casting?
Because for me to turn that down right, you're that girl?
I mean, I guess yeah, mm hmm, okay. Do you
have a choice in the casting like I did? And
I also had Benny Boom direct? Oh I love that,
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:17:55):
I was like, let us do a nineties throwback and
Benny was there and I called him. I was like,
could you what do you think about it? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
We had fun. So you picked the guy I picked.

Speaker 1 (01:18:05):
They gave me a couple the brand gave me like
this is what they gave the storyline and the breakdown,
and they said these are the guys we think.

Speaker 2 (01:18:12):
What do you think? And we all picked the Broderick Hunter,
mister Hunter. You said him, that guy? I said him,
you know immediately? Did I know immediately? What was it?
What was it? What was the thing that made it?

Speaker 3 (01:18:26):
He's beautiful, just as he's beautiful, Corteous. I'm sure they
put a bunch of beautiful men in front of you know.

Speaker 1 (01:18:32):
It was him and another guy that was good looking,
but very different good looking. The other guy was like
a little more rugged looking but still really handsome. But
I knew for this because it was a quick pop
and he was familiar to me because he's an actor.

Speaker 2 (01:18:46):
I thought, you know, women are going to recognize him.

Speaker 1 (01:18:48):
So it's not it's it's about selling the story, right,
Like I can look outside of like him just being
a good looking guy, it was also selling the story.

Speaker 2 (01:18:57):
He also has really good skin, and he was recognizable.
So do you ever do you have you been able
to choose leading men before I have? When did you do?
Can you say? Or you can't say?

Speaker 1 (01:19:10):
Even with love Jones, it was it was Gary Door,
Dano and Lorenz tape. You said, and I said, Lorenz.
And what happened was is the director showed our screen
test to a group of women that were his friends.
What they showed both screen tests, mine with Gary and
mine with Lorenz, and they were like, definitely them as

(01:19:33):
a couple, and Gary was great too. It was just beautiful, right,
But it was just we hadn't seen two brown skinned,
black people in love that looked like they were from,
you know, the same world, Like we looked right together.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
Yeah, So isn't that crazy to think? I know that
it was. So it was just a good movie too.

Speaker 1 (01:19:55):
The you guys, beautiful you guys brought these characters to life,
and the music and everything felt so authentic and fresh
and new at the time.

Speaker 2 (01:20:03):
But now a retrospect, it's like, wow, it took that long,
I know to.

Speaker 1 (01:20:07):
Show a couple that way in a way that's kind
of like wow, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:20:13):
But now since then, I feel like there's been so
many times that we I feel like the floodgates opened.

Speaker 2 (01:20:18):
Well because we were coming off this.

Speaker 1 (01:20:20):
You know, renaissance of like hood tails, which were also
important and great and cinematically beautiful, but they were different
slice of life for black and brown people. And then
all of a sudden it was like, Okay, how many
versions of this can we do?

Speaker 2 (01:20:35):
And like there were where's the humanity, where's the love?

Speaker 1 (01:20:38):
Because right at the end of the day, that's really
what is the most important thing, is love. And so
when I read the script, I was like, I have
to do this movie. And Helena Etchigoyan, who was a producer,
on Friday, it was like, I have this other project
I want to share with you, and she's you know,
she was like very casual about it, but like she

(01:20:58):
was on the front line fighting for black people to
have their stories be told. She since retired from the industry,
but what she did do was incredibly important, and she
became my friend, and you know, she guided the director
on what to write and how to you know, put
the whole thing together, and she.

Speaker 2 (01:21:18):
Got maybe she got the movie green lit.

Speaker 1 (01:21:20):
Wow, And it was considered a flop when it came
out because it didn't make very much money. But you know,
the thing is is it was a cult classic. They
didn't put the money behind it, they didn't put the
marketing behind it. They said, yeah, we'll do this movie,
but we're not going to put much money behind it,
and see, we'll just see what happens. And then and
then it became a cult classic and we just did
another film Together, which is a very different film.

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
I love that, but I love lorenz Is the chemistry still, Yes,
we still what is that?

Speaker 1 (01:21:46):
It's it's I tell them all the time. I completely
trust him. I completely trust him.

Speaker 2 (01:21:56):
As my guy in a movie.

Speaker 1 (01:21:58):
Yeah, and he completely trusts me, and I can say, like,
we can have very honest conversations and we can agree
or disagree, but there's a there's a there's a kinship there.
And I think we also know what we hold for
the community, and so we guard that and I especially

(01:22:19):
guarded it in this last project because I was very
like hyper sensitive to making sure.

Speaker 2 (01:22:27):
We were in pocket.

Speaker 1 (01:22:28):
Yeah, the standard, that's it, because you can't be what
everyone else is doing if you're one of the originators.

Speaker 2 (01:22:38):
So that shitn't me up.

Speaker 1 (01:22:40):
I mean, that's the only shit I'm going to talk
today because it's not even an ego thing.

Speaker 2 (01:22:45):
It's just fat Yes, what it is? Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:22:49):
In life, okay in real life, life, in real life.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
Tell me what are you most proud about about your career?
And you in who you are? And I am so proud.

Speaker 1 (01:23:00):
That I've lasted this long that I still have a
place in a space of relevance that I am so
supported and beloved by women and that I, even though
I don't always know them, know where the love is
coming from. I feel the vibration and that support and

(01:23:22):
a genuine connection that I've been able to connect with women,
with black women that look like me, that don't look
like me, but are a part of who I am,
you know, because we're all connected in some ways. So
I'm really proud that I've been able to make that impact.

Speaker 2 (01:23:41):
And I think that.

Speaker 1 (01:23:43):
They're sure there are other accolades that maybe others have
gotten that I haven't gotten, But where I am is
the sweet spot because they never leave, you know what
I mean, Like they're always there there.

Speaker 2 (01:23:57):
I can always turn to my core.

Speaker 1 (01:24:02):
Group of supporters and know that they have my back,
and that to me is more important than any award,
than any red carpet, than any anything, because it's a
connection to humanity and at the end of the day,
that's what's really most important to me. I mean, the
whole point of art is to make people feel something,
whether it's visual, whether you're on stage, whether you're on film,

(01:24:26):
on television, on the radio. Is to evoke. And that
was your prayer today too. That's so funny to say that.
I know, I just thought my prayer for the pod
was that we would have a conversation that would empower, inspire,
or make somebody feel seen.

Speaker 3 (01:24:40):
My mother's calling, Oh my, you look answer the phone.
Why she just hung up and we're almost done, I know,
but she'll be like, Hi, are you coming back?

Speaker 2 (01:24:51):
Okay, We're almost I thought we were going for a walk,
is how.

Speaker 1 (01:24:56):
She definitely has a strong New York accent.

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
That's very cute in real life. What are you still
working on? Myself? Forever? Forever, forever in a day, just
being aware, just being conscious, just deciding what I can
be better at, and deciding what I am, what I
am committed to, because there's certain things that are just
not going to change. When was the last time you

(01:25:21):
cried from gratitude?

Speaker 1 (01:25:24):
The other day, I cried from gratitude actually on the
flight here because of my star in Hollywood Boulevard, because
I was thinking about the times my mom and I
used to walk on Hollywood Boulevard and we would read
the names of the stars on the street and she'd say, well,
one day you're going to have a star in Hollywood Boulevard.

(01:25:45):
I was like nine, and before I even started acting,
I was on the flight. I started crying. I started
thinking about how incredibly blessed I am and how this
journey has been not easy at all, and it's.

Speaker 2 (01:25:56):
Still not easy. But there's something cool about it because
it just seemed like.

Speaker 1 (01:26:02):
The most unrealistic thing that could ever happen to my life,
and now it's happening.

Speaker 3 (01:26:10):
I think you're giving me a message now too, because
you know I got one for radio. They have a
radio Cadina got.

Speaker 2 (01:26:15):
A star on Ah. No, well I was. I received
the invitation that I got. I won the thing.

Speaker 3 (01:26:21):
I yes, never have gone to accept it because number one,
it's expensive.

Speaker 2 (01:26:25):
It's expense. I know, you have to get someone to
pay for it. And then the Lionsgate treated me. Oh
and that nice. That is nice. I thought it was
really cool.

Speaker 3 (01:26:33):
I'm gonna get somebody to treat me because I'm like,
do I really care about this?

Speaker 2 (01:26:37):
Yess you care. I didn't know if I did, but
now you're making me feel like I should.

Speaker 1 (01:26:40):
Well, well, here's the thing. It's not about the star
being on the ground. It's about the acknowledgment of your
body of work. And when you're gone, there's going to
be some amazing Latina radio host who's going to look
back on what you did and go, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:27:03):
She did it. I could do it too.

Speaker 1 (01:27:04):
So it's legacy, right like, and we're and because we're
like real people, the idea of legacy is kind of like, oh,
that's is that what I'm doing because we're as first,
I'm concerned. I'm just living. I'm not planning for this
to be some legacy.

Speaker 2 (01:27:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:22):
But if you threaten what I've done, that's when I
realize it's legacy.

Speaker 2 (01:27:27):
We're the same human being. Yeah, I'm like, you're not
about to mess up.

Speaker 3 (01:27:30):
Sometimes I'll see stories and I'll feel written out of something.
That's when I feel threatened. And that's the times where
I'm like, let me, let me remind, like just how
you gotta remind just how you did about love Jones being.

Speaker 1 (01:27:44):
That is ours for this new storytelling, yes, or the
beginning of this new storytelling or protective and that started
in the nineties. Yeah, yeah, you gotta remind. I just
think that's a lesson for women.

Speaker 3 (01:27:57):
Yes, whether you're an actress, whether you do what I do, whatever, Like,
I just think the lesson for women is like sometimes.

Speaker 1 (01:28:03):
It's okay to brush your shoulders off. Yeah, remind the
motherfucker all day. What's what you have?

Speaker 2 (01:28:10):
Worked really hard? Because men do it all the time. Yeah,
shit was hard. It was hard, and we did some
dope shit and we did dope. I did that. Yeah,
in real life, what's a guilty pleasure?

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
Guilty pleasure? That probably shopped too much? I probably shop
to shop. That's where we're good ship.

Speaker 2 (01:28:32):
We're not the same. I hate shopping. I want you too.
I want to die. I'm not even online. You don't
have to go do.

Speaker 1 (01:28:38):
It online, but then it comes and I gotta try
it on and I gotta ship it back if it
doesn't fit.

Speaker 2 (01:28:41):
It's like, you know, work of shopping. I really don't care.

Speaker 1 (01:28:44):
So we should vacation together, because then I wouldn't spend
unnecessary money.

Speaker 2 (01:28:48):
If somebody could lay my clothes out for me today
every day. Oh you would like that. I would.

Speaker 1 (01:28:52):
I would hate that you would, yes, because what if
I'm not in the mood for that?

Speaker 2 (01:28:57):
Fair enough?

Speaker 1 (01:28:57):
But if it looked fine enough, I swear and I'm like,
it's fine, I'll wear this.

Speaker 2 (01:29:03):
Give me the podcast. No, that's I can't swear this.
It's fine. Yeah, I can't with the shopping and the
do you overpack? Yes, because I don't know what I'm
gonna wear.

Speaker 1 (01:29:12):
I just throw everything in and then when I get there,
I'll figure out which of this I'm gonna throw one.

Speaker 2 (01:29:16):
It's terrible. I don't have that, really, girl, Jane of like.

Speaker 1 (01:29:21):
Every You know, what I find with myself is that
I'm a sucker for like trying something new, so right now,
and this is my goal. When I leave this New
York trip, I have every single thing that I need.

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
I don't need. I don't need a sock.

Speaker 1 (01:29:38):
I have the I have the little hot, trendy Michael
Jackson socks to wear with my loafers like I have it.

Speaker 2 (01:29:44):
I should have worn him today, but I didn't bring up.
But it would have been cute with this out, really cute. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:29:50):
When I get home, it's purging because now I'm at
the place where I only want the things that actually
really work for me, and I want to give everything.

Speaker 2 (01:29:58):
Else away, the things I love.

Speaker 1 (01:30:01):
The things I love. I don't want the things I
kind of love. I want these things I have a
deep loving connection with.

Speaker 2 (01:30:11):
Besides, it's probably crazy. It's gotta be crazy crazy. You
got pieces from the nineties I do in storage.

Speaker 1 (01:30:19):
I bet I still have my Kenneth Cole black snake
embossed shoes that I wore when Prince tried to talk to.

Speaker 2 (01:30:26):
Me and I didn't know who it was. Prince, did
you keep them? Because it was Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:30:31):
I was like, this was the night I met Denzel
Washington and Prince in the same night.

Speaker 2 (01:30:35):
I'm going to keep these. I'm keeping these pumps from
my daughter because surely she'll have some. I don't. I mean,
I'm never going to have a daughter, but my granddaughter. Yeah,
was done with kids? Was he shooting a shop? Was
a shop being a prince? Yeah? Oh? Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:30:48):
He grabbed my hand and I was like, And then
we got to the car and my hate and ask
girlfriend at the time, because she should have told me earlier, like,
let's be re real of this Prince. She goes, girl,
you know that Prince. I go, why didn't you tell
me before we left the building?

Speaker 2 (01:31:03):
So how would you inflate this different?

Speaker 1 (01:31:05):
I well, if I knew it was Prince, I would
have just turned around and said hello.

Speaker 2 (01:31:10):
And then I met him years later.

Speaker 1 (01:31:11):
Once I became an actress, and I was like, I
met you a long time ago, and he was lovely.
But we talked about my hair the whole time because
he liked my haircut. He was no longer shooting a shot,
he was not. Oh, so he wasn't giving you the arm.

Speaker 2 (01:31:25):
Touch because you would knee alone, because you weren't even knee alone.

Speaker 1 (01:31:28):
No, he was giving me the arm touch because I
was petite and brown and that's what he likes. And
you know, he's like, who's this little young hot girl
in the fake leather momps.

Speaker 2 (01:31:41):
And the outpha that I wore to every party? And
then what was that? How did you meet Denzel on
the same day? Denzel was just there?

Speaker 1 (01:31:47):
I mean I didn't talk to Denzel at that point,
but I was like, Denzel Washington's.

Speaker 2 (01:31:52):
Here putting these shoes and storage putting these shoes have
miles on them in real life? What is something that
you were no longer apologizing for knowing what I know?
And I'm also not negotiating, m I'm not.

Speaker 1 (01:32:13):
I can't no apologizing, no negotiating.

Speaker 2 (01:32:18):
Now. I'm open to learning and growing and understanding.

Speaker 1 (01:32:24):
But what I know works for myself is part of
my truth and that's not negotiable.

Speaker 2 (01:32:31):
Like you know, I do you might question, but you know,
we always know.

Speaker 1 (01:32:35):
We always know, and we convince ourselves for other mad
different reasons to ignore the things that we know.

Speaker 2 (01:32:44):
And you've known it for a long time. Yeah, so
now you listen to that now.

Speaker 1 (01:32:48):
I don't even like if there's a part of me
that even wants to try to doubt it for thirty seconds,
I like, no, you know, it's freedom. That's where the
freedom is when you know what you know. Otherwise you're
like trapped inside of your head and you're yeah, so
good going back and forth. Okay, last two, Yeah, do

(01:33:10):
you pray foremost?

Speaker 2 (01:33:13):
H I pay for pray for patience because I'm not
the most patient person in the world. We've learned that
about you. Yeah, I'm not. I try, but it's like
so many things are really obvious to me that I'm like,
how do you not see that? Yeah? How do you
not see that? Do you not see? Get away from me?

Speaker 1 (01:33:34):
Because its about to tell you that means that we're
not on the same trajectory. I get really impatient when
I'm working really hard and I'm tired, and I feel
like other people are not rising to their occasion listen

(01:33:55):
to me, So I have to now engage in your
motherfucking occasion when I'm trying to just hold on to
you know, that is the realest thing. Ever, how do
you manage it? Because I just tell everyone to leave,
I'm like, get out, and then then then they never
want to come back.

Speaker 2 (01:34:14):
And then I'm like doing all the work by myself.
Oh yeah, bitch, you do it all you want to go?
Go yeah no, and then you're like shit, I'm like.

Speaker 1 (01:34:24):
Help, well, it's you know, we will try to figure
it out.

Speaker 2 (01:34:30):
No, I try to be more patient.

Speaker 1 (01:34:32):
I find that when you actually explain yourself where you're
coming from, people go oh, because they're not thinking what
I'm thinking. No one can read my mind. Yeah, you know,
how's that working for you? The part, I think the
hard part about it is that when you're famous, nobody
wants to really tell you, and everyone's like good caah,

(01:34:53):
I got it, Oh yes.

Speaker 2 (01:34:55):
Yeah, And I don't I really want you to understand.

Speaker 1 (01:34:57):
I don't want you to feel like you have to
placate me, like, let's have the tough conversations. Yeah, let's
dig deep. Let's you can tell me that I'm being whatever.
I don't care, it's not gonna make me not like you.

Speaker 3 (01:35:09):
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that keeps you from having yes
men around you.

Speaker 2 (01:35:13):
Yes, I'm like, say the truth, say what it is.
I'm gonna let's put it on the table.

Speaker 1 (01:35:17):
Let's put it on the table and dissect it, because
when we rebuild, we're gonna be.

Speaker 2 (01:35:21):
On solid foundation. If you're flimming and flamming and dipping
and dapping, I don't really.

Speaker 1 (01:35:26):
Or we can get to the truth quicker that this
doesn't work. That's it right, Yes, process of elimination.

Speaker 2 (01:35:35):
Let's just get to it.

Speaker 1 (01:35:36):
Let's get to it because in work, in relationships.

Speaker 2 (01:35:40):
Everything, in friendships, everything, let's get to it. If we're
going to be lovers, we're lovers.

Speaker 1 (01:35:45):
If we're going to be in a deep, heavy relationship
where that, If we're gonna be friends where that.

Speaker 2 (01:35:49):
If we're gonna be business partners like you can do that.

Speaker 1 (01:35:53):
Yes, there's no more gray area. Yes, my queen, twin queen,
I hate g gray is horrid, It's terrible.

Speaker 2 (01:36:06):
What sign are you Capricorn? Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:36:08):
Yeah, I like Capricorn woman. Y'all don't play what are you?
I'm a scorpio? Serious about your business?

Speaker 2 (01:36:13):
A little crazy though, No Scorpios, is that is that
not a thing. No, we're sexual, Oh we like to Yeah,
we're very passionate.

Speaker 1 (01:36:22):
She's sexual, she didn't say passionate. Well, those are the same.
You could be sexual and passionate. But I would say
I would say we feel things. I feel things deeply.
I can't speak for every Scorpio person, but I feel things,
and I also know the truth in every situation.

Speaker 2 (01:36:43):
So people will call you crazy, but it's not that. No,
I'm I don't think anyone's ever called me crazy. Well,
not you. I'm saying maybe they have. I don't really care.
That's one of those things that I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck you call me crazy, all right?
Our final question every episode to every guest.

Speaker 1 (01:36:59):
Okay, if God were to text you right now, it's
a message to nia from God directly.

Speaker 2 (01:37:08):
I'm tuning in to him. What would it say, Good
job girl today or in life? In life?

Speaker 1 (01:37:19):
I think in life, good job because he knows how
hard work and he also knows my heart, so that
good job girl, good job.

Speaker 2 (01:37:34):
This is me along in real life. Hey guys, thanks
for watching.

Speaker 1 (01:37:37):
Make sure you subscribe, like comments, and check out all
of the other episodes we have on Edge, Martinez IRL
podcast