June 27, 2025 • 36 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re tackling a big topic in this Fan Questions episode — mental health. We kick things off with Kathy’s thoughts on mental health as she taps into her experience of losing her husband. Next, we get into the question of the day: What has it been like seeing the world evolve on this topic and how did you manage your mental health when you were younger? And, of course, we get into your questions about mental health. From parents who don’t understand mental illnesses to teaching kids how to regulate their emotions, we’re here to help. Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Today's episode contains talks of mental health, including addiction, suicide, and depression. If you or a loved one is struggling with their mental health, please reach out to a mental health professional or a crisis hotline. Listener's discretion is advised.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
This episode contains discussions about mental health, including topics such
as depression, anxiety, and suicide. Please take care while listening
and consider skipping this episode if you're not in a
place to engage with these topics. If you or someone
you know is struggling, please reach out to a mental
health professional or contact a crisis line. And one more
(00:31):
thing before we dive in, I just wanted to say
on a personal note, when my husband took his life,
A lot of people ask me how he did it,
why he did it, did he leave a note? Was
he depressed? None of those things are really important, other
than to say the leaving behind a family. He left
(00:56):
me behind, three children, a mother, siblings. It is the
hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life.
People often ask me if he was depressed, and all
I can say is, of course he was depressed. The
sad part is I didn't see how depressed he was,
(01:18):
and for someone to take their life. You know, if
you're happy and life is going well, you're enjoying life.
You're not looking for a way to exit this earth.
So think about that the next time someone you know
has or a family friend or whatever has has to
deal with suicide. It always involves depression and I wish
(01:40):
I had reached out for help and if I had
known the severity that I would would have done that. So,
you know, I try to make light of it sometimes
when people ask me and I say, you know, if
you're unhappy in life, most people they'll go out and
buy a sports car, they'll have an affair, they'll go
buy a fancy watch, or take an expensive trip. People
(02:03):
don't think that people are going to take their life
when they're unhappy. And it's such a different diagnosis. If
you're diagnosed with cancer or you know, a blood disease
that takes your life, Suicide is very different because you
choose to take your life and leave the people that
(02:23):
loved you and cared about you. So I just needed
to say that before we get going on this episode today.
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us today. We're so excited to be back with
another episode today.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
We absolutely are.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Today we're going to be answering more of our fan questions,
So make sure guys that you're still submitting them because
we love reading them, talking about them, giving our advice
and you know how to do it batchelor nation dot com,
slash Golden Hour, and just keep them coming.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Keep them coming, send us everything. We really love to
hear from you, your questions, your comments. We love to
get updates on questions that we've answered on prior episodes,
so please write into us. You can also DM us
on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
And people are starting to do that, cav I've noticed.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Okay, all right, it's time to get into the episode
and we're going to start with our favorite part, the
Question of the Day.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Okay, before we do that, can I just say this,
You know, Susan, you know me. I laugh a minute,
love to make jokes. But this episode, and for all
y'all listening, this is a very close to home subject.
For me. Mental health is what we're going to be
talking about in this episode. And you all know my
(03:48):
husband died by suicide, which is right up the alley
of mental health issues. So for me, this is going
to hit a little close to home. But we're going
to do it, and I hope that this episode is
going to help a lot of people struggling with these
kinds of issues. So go ahead, start us off with
the Question of the Day.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Absolutely Kathy, what has it been like seeing how society
has evolved when it comes to mental health? How did
you manage your mental health when you were younger?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Okay, so the first thing I would say is society
has evolved. Social media has caused a lot of difficulties
for people for many reasons. People seeing the life they
want to live, or feeling seeing foma like everyone else
is a great life, but I don't, And so much
(04:41):
of social media is the life you wish you were living,
not really the life you are living, or just posting
about the best things in your life. And nobody's life
is perfect all the time. I think that's part of
the problem. I think the other thing is that we
are seeing so much more mental illness in society. We
(05:03):
see many more homeless people than when I was growing up,
people who have drug and alcohol issues. All of those
are issues that come under the umbrella of mental health,
and I just think we see more of it. Why.
I don't know. I think the world has become a
more complex, probably a place to live.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I do believe though, that society is more aware of
mental health. I mean, look at the shootings at the
schools and all the things that have happened in the
last decade. More people acknowledge and realize mental health is
a huge thing, and if you feel like somebody in
(05:45):
your family needs help, you get help. Also, as far
as social media, there are things out there to help
people you know.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well so that are struggle. So you know, and I've
said this before, uh when, And I know this is
not necessarily a popular thought, but it it is. My
husband's gone, been gone for almost six years, and I
still hold this to be true. When you have someone
(06:16):
who's threatening suicide and they say call a suicide hotline,
somebody who's decided to take their life is going to
do it, maybe not today.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I think when they call those hotlines it's a cry for.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Help, yes, but sometimes they're not there. So I think
I think it takes a lot of money, effort, resources
to deal with mental health. Mental health, like I said,
is the big umbrella. And I don't think this is
just my opinion. I don't think our society spends enough.
(06:49):
And maybe there's lots of reasons for that, but I
don't think we spend enough on mental health. And that's
why I think kids today have a tougher world than
we have. They have a lot more pressure.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
When I was growing up, I'd never heard of some
things like bipolar and people that are medicated and then
they feel like they shouldn't take the medicines.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
They don't like the way they feel.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Autism as a as another one that I didn't hear
of as a child.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Well, autism a mental health issue, that's a yes. But
but but your point is well taken that there are
that things that are alcohol and drug issues are either
more prevalent today or they're just out in the open.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Work today much more.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yes, but either way, to address these issues, you know
when you when you take someone and you you you
throw them in jail. Really it's not they're not criminals.
They have mental health issues. So it's you know, you
and I aren't about to solve this problem today. But
(07:57):
I think when I was younger, you know, how I
manage my mental health. I truly played a lot of sports,
I read a lot. I kind of the same things
I do now. Frankly, Uh, you know, I exercised, I read,
I I I hung out with friends. But I think
(08:20):
the competition is so much stronger today.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yes, and social media, I mean that's a huge If
you're not important on social media, then you're nobody.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
It's sad people well, and the other thing I think
that effects. I mean, there's so many things we could
do it, we could write a book, literally, but but
the isolation that kids feel today behind their computers, their
screens all the time, I think that affects people's mental health.
You know, there's just.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I'm looking forward to hearing what some of our fans
wrote in for this.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Okay, well, let's get to it then.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Okay, do you want to start? All? Right?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Here we go. The first question is from anonymous. Hi, ladies,
I really need your help. I'm nineteen and my mom
does not understand mental health. I've always struggled with what
I now know is severe anxiety and OCD. I only
recently got a diagnosis. It's been life changing, but it's
(09:28):
still very much an uphill battle trying to manage it.
I could really use my mom's support, but she thinks
it's all made up, which I find really hurtful. I've
even allowed my psychiatrists to contact her and talk her
through my diagnosis, and she still just doesn't get it.
For example, my brother has ADHD, and all she says
(09:51):
is if you wanted to focus you would. How do
I get her to understand I really need all the
support I can get right now, my dad on my side,
but won't even try to get through to her. Thanks ladies. Wow,
so nineteen. I mean that is a tough age right.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
There, that is, and her mom just doesn't get it
when she blames her for for things.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
See, I think the mom gets it exactly. I think
the mom in denial. No, well, I don't know. I
don't know her, but I think she looks in the
mirror and thinks her kids have these problems because of
some way she failed her children.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
That's what I feel.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
She feels guilty that she somehow caused these things. And
I think parents sometimes.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
I mean, I've said it to my kids, if you
want to focus, you've got to pay attention. You got
to pay attention. And here the two of them had
a learning disability. And until I went and had them
tested and met with the school people, I understood and
I felt terrible. I think I think it was dyslexic.
She was reading back. Why aren't you getting this, Brittany,
She explain it again.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
The issue of mental health, dyslexia ADHD, these are all
behave well dyslexia is educational, neurological, and OCD, and these
behaviors come from, you know, different situations in life. The
point is, this girl that we're talking about has a
(11:24):
psychiatrist and meets your mom. And if the psychiatrist can't
get through the mom, I think the mom does know.
I think she just can't face it sometimes, which again
makes it really tough on the child because it does.
Teenagers in this day and age and need a lot
of support.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
And I think lean on your dad more than your mom.
You're not going to convince her yourself and it's only
going to upset her, so let your dad in.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Well, she said, my dad is on, I said, but
won't even try to get through to her. You know
what I would say to you, anonymous, I would lean
on your friends. I know it's tough. I would find teachers,
school counselors, someone at church. I would find people that
can support you. We all want our parents to be
great supporters. Someone think just can't be.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
And you know, I'm reading material and pamphlets on what
it is and have a read them. Denial is not
not understanding, it's denying and that what you said in
the beginning maybe she feels some certain way that my
children have this.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Could it have come from me?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Right? So that's what I'm saying. I don't think she's
denying it. I think she can't face it because she's
blaming herself. The mom's blaming herself. But sweetie, I hate
that you're feeling not supported. Uh So I would really
encourage you. We all want our parents to support us,
but sometimes they just can't. So you need to find
(12:54):
some people.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Who support you exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
And that's no hoping, you know, hoping you're on the
right medication, hoping that you feel better. And teenagers are tough.
It will get easier as you get older.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
It well, okay, thank you Another anonymous, Hi, Kathy and Susan.
I need some help with my son. He's fourteen and
really struggles with trying to regulate his stress or his emotions.
He has so many outbursts and fights with me and
(13:29):
my husband constantly. Is this really just what teenagers are like?
I have no idea how to talk to him. I've
tried to encourage him seeing a therapist or use his
time at the gym to get his stress out, but
it always results in him shutting down and locking himself
(13:50):
in his room.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
What do I do? Thanks so much?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So again this pret professional.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I think he needs this.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Mom, you need to take charge here. He's fourteen, teenage.
You're right on all accounts, Yes, Anonymous, it is teenagers.
It is teenagers. However, that doesn't mean that he doesn't
need help. It doesn't mean that he's going to be
fine and he's going to outgrow it. Again, Susan and
(14:23):
I are not.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Therapist, have some serious issues that he might need medication
or at least somebody to medically to assess him.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Right. So, when she says I've been trying to encourage
me to see a therapist, Anonymous, No, no, No, you
are the parent. You make the appointment with a therapist.
You pick your son up from school, you take him
into the office, and you know what, he may sit
there and clam up and say nothing to this man
or woman whoever the therapist is for two or three weeks,
(14:54):
but eventually.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Once he feels once.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
He feels like he can trust the person. And that's
what they're trained to do, is get kids trust. What
I wouldn't do is do nothing. That's what I.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Would not absolutely not so be full blown depression it
could have anger issues. I mean, you don't know. We're
not doctors. People study this and they know.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
You know, I said this was a hard topic for me.
I will say teenagers love them. I have, I have
three of them. They can be total pains in the
ass Anonymous. But having said that, you can't always chalk
up a child's behavior to being a pain in the
ass teenager.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
So once again, don't assume.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah, yeah, I would. I'd get some help from him,
and don't ask him if he wants to go, you know,
take him. You're the parent, be the parent, get.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Picture, and you want to do it now because he's fourteen.
If you wait till eighteen, you don't know what happens now.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
If you had to l eighteen, If you wait till eighteen,
you have no control. They are legal adults. You can't
force him to do anything exactly. Okay, let's go to question.
Our next question is from another anonymous. Hi, Susan and Cathy.
I have no idea where to start, and I need help.
I just found out that my husband has been living
(16:15):
a secret life. He has another family across the country
in the city where he has his quarterly conferences. If
those are even real he has a fiance and a
son with this other woman. I found out after snooping
through his laptop, following my gut that something was off.
Now he has no idea that I know. What do
(16:38):
I do next? Thanks, ladies, Susan, do not get your
baseball bat out.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
That's so hurtful. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
You have to sit them down and let him know,
you know, I mean, I'm not the one that's going
to blame you.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
You know what I would do if that woman.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Doesn't know either, I'm certain you need to sit him down.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
It's over. I can tell you that.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Well, I'm not. I'm that's that's uh, you know that's why. Well, no,
what I would do if it were me, I would
go to a therapist and I would explain to the
therapist what's happened and ask a therapist how's the best
way to handle it? Because I would be angry, hurt
(17:25):
all of the things, and and I wouldn't trust myself
to sit down in a calm way. And furthermore, you
don't know what his reaction is going to be. You
don't know what's going to happen when you tell him,
so I might, I don't know I'm just saying that
could be a very volatile situation. So I would I
might say, you know, Johnny, whatever your husband's name is,
(17:51):
I'm having an issue. I'm having an issue, and I
would like you to come with me to talk to
a therapist about it. Well, you know, I would try
to get him into a therapist's office and have the
third party break the news and have conversation in the office.
That's what I would do.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
I would fly the girl in and say, let's the
three of us talk.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
You are you serious?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Of dead serious?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh my god. I swear to god I can never
be Italian ever. Because I swear, I mean, I could
never do half the stuff you say in you're Italian?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
So I mean, of course.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Hasn't told him that she knows. So that's very strong
of her right now, because you react and she has it.
She's sleeping with this, she's thinking about it that hopefully
she has time to find her calm and accept what's happening.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
But for me, that marriage is over.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Okay, I see, I can't even get there. I'm her
choice of words. He has a fiance, no, no, darling,
he has a wife and a concubine. She's not a
fiancee because he's married to you, so you cannot have
two wives. The fact that he has a child with her.
I have to be honest, anonymous, you are not the
(19:11):
first wife who has a husband there. Can I just
this is a tough episode. Can I just lighten it?
When I lived in Houston, my dentist, there were I'm
not going to mention their names. There were two players
on the Houston Rockets basketball team. I'm sorry, one player
(19:32):
on the Houston Rockets team who had two wives, two
families living in Houston. I didn't know it, but one
day I was in the dentist's office and the wife
number one is there with her kids, and all of
a sudden, I'm in the chair and I hear this commotion.
Who did that? Get him out of here? Like, I'm like,
I really hadn't. I was getting scared. I said, I
(19:54):
was kind of friends with my hygienist. So she said
to me, it's his other family that they have strict
instructions to never book them. They know they knew each
other existed, to never book them on the same day.
So they walk in they were on the waiting room.
I almost choked on the toothpaste. I had to walk out.
(20:15):
Can I tell you the receptions that booked them? She
was fired on the spot for everybody. I mean, so
what happens is my point.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yes it does.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
But whether you're children, so whether exactly so, whether your
marriage is over or not, it's immaterial until you two
can focus on the break in trust and his lack
of integrity and blah blah blah, all of those important things.
But I think you need professional help to deal with that.
(20:46):
I don't think that's something you tackle on your own.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
It depends on who she is and how strong of
a woman she is, you know, how bad. Yeah, if
you're not going to fly off the handle and kill them, I.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Think an anonymous I'm sorry, Yeah, we're sorry. I know
that we're sorry. Let us know, let us know what happens.
The fact that your gut was telling you something was off.
It's probably been going on a whole lot longer than
you think it as And you know what, there might
be another one. I mean, he might just be a profliga.
What's just he's got women in every town. Whatever, So
(21:23):
figure it out.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
All right, Kathy.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Instead of a game today, we wanted to end off
this episode a little more like.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Oh, thank goodness, this was a tough one.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
So we're going to be just answering some questions about
us and our friendship so you all can get to
know us a little bit better, and we're going to
switch off reading the questions, but we'll both answer every.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
One of them.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Okay, I'm going to start us off. What's a fond
memory you have from when you first became a parent.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Oh? For me, it was holding my first son, my
first child, for the very first time, looking at my
husband and realizing we created this beautiful human name. I'll
never forget it.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Mine was a daughter and that's exactly right. It was
in that hospital looking how beautiful and she was perfect
in her hair, and she had ten fingers and ten toes.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
We did this, we did.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And you know, Susan, I remember my oldest son was
born ten days early and he was fourcept delivery, so
he was red and you know, and I still laugh
about this. When he came out, I said, oh my god,
he's the most beautiful baby. I feel so sorry for
parents who are of a beautiful child. And I thought,
(22:49):
I went back and looked at the pictures and he
was born. Oh, my god, he was the most he
got something the cat dragged in.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
That was my Christopher. He was only three fans. I go, oh,
my god, he looks like a chicken.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, but I didn't say that. I just thought anyway,
being a parent, especially for the first time again. All right,
if you could give your thirty year old self one
piece of advice, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Trust your instincts.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
That's a good one. Uh. Mine would be you got
a lot of life left to live in brain every minute.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, don't sweat the small stuff. All right.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
What's a passion or hobby you picked up after turning fifty?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Dating?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Golfing to play golf?
Speaker 1 (23:37):
No, I was kidding about dating, Oh, passion? Oh, pickleball?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Boxing, I didn't. I couldn't stick with it too long. Boxing,
I don't know those two for sure. Definitely not cooking,
I can tell you that. All right. What's one misconception? Oh?
Oh you alive. I have the same answer on this.
We're gonna have the same answer. What's one misconception people
(24:09):
often have about women in their sixties?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Are we think of the same I think we're done.
We're never done.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Oh. Mine is more specific that women over sixty don't
like sex. That is a misconception.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Oh my god, yeah, sorry, are you kidding me? It's
better at sixty than it was at forty.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I mean, that's just funny. I think. Yeah, I think
people don't understand women in their sixties unless they date
one or are married to one. Okay, all right, what's.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Your proudest accomplishment that no one ever asks you about?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Uh? You know what? Oh, well, you know, back to
the serious stature of this thing. I came from a
pretty abusive family. Not pretty, very abusive. My mother was
very abusive. But people, if they don't.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Know it, would ask.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yeah. So the people that don't know, my friends know.
But my protest accomplishment is that I didn't fall into
the abusive trap and abuse my children the way she
abused me. I was a really good parent. I wasn't
a perfect parent, my kids will tell you.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
But my kids, my kids.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh, they're loved and cared for her. So that's my
proudest accomplishment.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
All right, what's something about your.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Excuse me, what's your protest accomplishment.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Well, it's not my accomplishment that nobody ever asked. Everybody
has always asked. Whatever I've done. I've never had nobody
not ask.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
So well, if they didn't ask, you were willing to
tell them. All right, I'm going to tell all right,
go on, it's.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Something about your co host that would be me that
would surprise new listeners.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I don't want to say it. I'll tell you later. No,
it's not a bad thing. It's just you know, it's
I don't think you'd want listeners to know it. Uh,
let me think I came up with a light one hat.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
I have something about you I think about you that
would surprise new listeners. She's definitely not as hard as
she seems. Sometimes it's got a huge heart.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Thank you. I was What I was going to say,
is that, Susan, is that people always say you're kind
and easy going and lovely, and you are all those things,
but you're not as easy going as people think you are.
Am I right, No, you're not. It's not an insult.
I'm saying you like things done a certain way. Oh
(26:58):
come on, I'm just as far as my house. No,
just in general, like you are you come across. Yes,
you're type A people think of you. Oh I love
people say me all the time. I love Susan, she's
a go with the.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Flow a listeners wouldn't know that about me.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I think new. I think most people think you are
and you are fun and jovial and have a big
heart and love to live and life, live life big.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
But you also I like ignorance, and don't you.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Like like you like things structured and regimented some I
just think people would be surprised to know that. Okay,
all right? Uh if you had to describe your co
host in three words, what would they be? Uh? Go ahead,
you want to go first?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Okay? Funny, direct, and.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Con Okay, those are I actually think those are fair.
I would say for you, uh, bubbly. I would also
say kind and empathetic.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Oh that's a curse. Yes, you are.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Sometimes too much. But before though, all right, we're gonna
keep going here.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
What's the biggest difference between you two?
Speaker 2 (28:25):
And what one thing you're weirdly similar about?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
I mean, the biggest difference right now, Susan has a
boyfriend and I don't. But we're gonna remedy that.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
To me of the biggest differences, I love food. I
like that well, I enjoy I live to eat. And
Kathy is the polar opposite. She doesn't care, she doesn't cook,
and everything tastes the same. It's beyond me.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
That's true, Olthough I do like twelve for nice meal. Susan,
I do be.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Weirdly similar about how important friendships are, how important.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
People, yes, and how important people are in our life.
And I honestly think we're both very empathetic. I do.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Okay, all right, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
What's a memorable moment you two have shared that made
you realize you had a special connection.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
How much time do we have?
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I was just gonna say, oh my god, there's been
some funny ones, like the day in Florida when you
made me go go with you, the date in Saint
Martin when you met Frederica made me.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Go with you French, Spanish and English.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Yeah, I mean I think anybody who go with.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
You as your guest for your son's wedding.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, well you official, that was very memorable. I would say, uh,
we're getting ready to take a cruise. That's gonna be.
That's gonna be a lot of memorable.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Next week we'll talk about that.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Yeah, okay, all right, what's your favorite drink to have
at a nice bar or restaurant, Kathy.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Let's answer for each other.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Dirty water, ranch water.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
I drink ranch water, which is tequila, soda and lime,
or I'll drink vodka. Susan is a grandma, die girl.
She will drink right wine wine.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I know, I know you Martini, French Martina.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yes, a seven? Well you called what's a seven? Six
eight or something?
Speaker 2 (30:20):
What do they call? That's Jones? That's Jones?
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Oh whatever? Yes, all right. What's a belief or opinion
you owe? What's a belief or opinion you've changed your
mind about over the years?
Speaker 2 (30:34):
I know mine, what's yours? Hooking up?
Speaker 1 (30:38):
What about it?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I now know what it really means.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I used to think it was just you know, as
and somebody it's sex, and I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
So I've changed my opinion.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
I think I French. You know that thing is called
a French seventy five. I just came to make yes,
that's what it's called a French seventy five. Okay. I
think I'm not sure that I've I've changed my belief
I've just become a lot softer and a lot more
understanding and tolerant of people's opinions. I think when I
(31:14):
was younger, you know, I was. I know the right
way it should be. Now, I'm like, I'm tolerant people.
You're entitled to your belief, You're entired to your opinion.
I'm not going to spend a lot of time trying
to convince somebody that I'm right. I'm right for me,
maybe not for them.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
What's something you're still learning about yourself? Even now?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I think I think just how I can be the
best version of myself every day and other people see it.
I don't know what would you say?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
What I'm still learning about me?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Yeah, is.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
I've always been okay with me and never realized it,
and I'm learning how I can be okay with who
I am.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Yeah, I guess okay.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Oh wait, I have to say, well, I'm sorry to interrupt.
I just it just hearted me. You you you triggered
me when you said that. I think I'm learning that
I am stronger than I ever thought I was and
still learning that I can still I can still grow,
(32:36):
be stronger and have a soft side to me too.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I agree with that.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
What does success mean to you today compared to when
you were younger.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
I think when we were younger, it was about having
a great career, making money, having the expensive toys or
the nice toys or the nice trips. What does success
mean to you today?
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Just what it always has You succeed.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Do you go try to do something and you succeed
at it.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
That's what it is. I don't think it's changed for me.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Success today means what we alluded to earlier. Seeing my
children be good human beings, give back to their community.
It makes me realize that I was a successful parent.
That you know. It's not about accumulation anymore. It's about
passing the torch to my kids. All right, what's a risk? Oh,
(33:30):
if you don't have to answer this one, Susan, what's
a risk you took that paid off in ways you
never expected? I want you to think there's only one
answer here, Oh dear, Can I answer it for you?
For Frederic fer what's a risk you took? Let let
me let me be a little more clear for you
(33:51):
for the rest of the world. Going to meet a
man in a bar in a strange country that you
didn't speak the same life language.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
And and you fell in love.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
That is a big risk and it paid off in
ways you never expected. You have a man you love
in Saint Martin. What's what's a risk I took going
to the bar with you, hoping he had a brother,
and he didn't. It didn't pay off. Okay, what legacy
are feeling to you hope listeners walk away with after
(34:25):
each episode?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
My feeling is I hoped.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
I hope every time that we helped whoever sent in
these questions and the people that we have on our
guests that come and chat with us, that we made
them feel good and proud of who they are.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Yeah, I agree with all that, and I would yeah,
we left, but I would add that that people, except
maybe the exception of this episode, which is still very important,
people walk away feeling entertained and happy. We brought some
joy laughter into their life for the half hour, and
(35:04):
maybe they got some good advice, They got to know
us better, they had some fun, you know, without it
didn't cost them anything but turning on there. But I
want to say that, and that's that's valuable, right. I
would say though, before we wrap this up, you know,
mental health is unfortunately still somewhat of a taboo subject.
(35:26):
It's better than it used to be, but anybody out
there struggling.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Talk about it themselves.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Or with a partner, or your children get help, just
talk about its help from someone.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
And you know what. Thank you everybody for joining us today.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
This was not as easy as all of our other
episodes because we like to have fun, but this is
very serious and we take it very serious.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah, so be sure to follow Bounce our Happy Hour
because we have new episodes coming out every week and
we promise to bring the fun back next time. We promise, we.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Do, yes, we do.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Make sure you're submitting your questions to us and you
know how to do it. Go to bachelornation dot com,
slash Golden Hour, or dm us on Instagram at Bachelor
Happy Hour.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Listen to bauchel Our Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time,
have a great week.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
See you
This episode contains discussions about mental health, including topics such
as depression, anxiety, and suicide. Please take care while listening
and consider skipping this episode if you're not in a
place to engage with these topics. If you or someone
you know is struggling, please reach out to a mental
health professional or contact a crisis line. And one more
(00:31):
thing before we dive in, I just wanted to say
on a personal note, when my husband took his life,
A lot of people ask me how he did it,
why he did it, did he leave a note? Was
he depressed? None of those things are really important, other
than to say the leaving behind a family. He left
(00:56):
me behind, three children, a mother, siblings. It is the
hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life.
People often ask me if he was depressed, and all
I can say is, of course he was depressed. The
sad part is I didn't see how depressed he was,
(01:18):
and for someone to take their life. You know, if
you're happy and life is going well, you're enjoying life.
You're not looking for a way to exit this earth.
So think about that the next time someone you know
has or a family friend or whatever has has to
deal with suicide. It always involves depression and I wish
(01:40):
I had reached out for help and if I had
known the severity that I would would have done that. So,
you know, I try to make light of it sometimes
when people ask me and I say, you know, if
you're unhappy in life, most people they'll go out and
buy a sports car, they'll have an affair, they'll go
buy a fancy watch, or take an expensive trip. People
(02:03):
don't think that people are going to take their life
when they're unhappy. And it's such a different diagnosis. If
you're diagnosed with cancer or you know, a blood disease
that takes your life, Suicide is very different because you
choose to take your life and leave the people that
(02:23):
loved you and cared about you. So I just needed
to say that before we get going on this episode today.
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us today. We're so excited to be back with
another episode today.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
We absolutely are.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Today we're going to be answering more of our fan questions,
So make sure guys that you're still submitting them because
we love reading them, talking about them, giving our advice
and you know how to do it batchelor nation dot com,
slash Golden Hour, and just keep them coming.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Keep them coming, send us everything. We really love to
hear from you, your questions, your comments. We love to
get updates on questions that we've answered on prior episodes,
so please write into us. You can also DM us
on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
And people are starting to do that, cav I've noticed.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Okay, all right, it's time to get into the episode
and we're going to start with our favorite part, the
Question of the Day.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Okay, before we do that, can I just say this,
You know, Susan, you know me. I laugh a minute,
love to make jokes. But this episode, and for all
y'all listening, this is a very close to home subject.
For me. Mental health is what we're going to be
talking about in this episode. And you all know my
(03:48):
husband died by suicide, which is right up the alley
of mental health issues. So for me, this is going
to hit a little close to home. But we're going
to do it, and I hope that this episode is
going to help a lot of people struggling with these
kinds of issues. So go ahead, start us off with
the Question of the Day.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Absolutely Kathy, what has it been like seeing how society
has evolved when it comes to mental health? How did
you manage your mental health when you were younger?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Okay, so the first thing I would say is society
has evolved. Social media has caused a lot of difficulties
for people for many reasons. People seeing the life they
want to live, or feeling seeing foma like everyone else
is a great life, but I don't, And so much
(04:41):
of social media is the life you wish you were living,
not really the life you are living, or just posting
about the best things in your life. And nobody's life
is perfect all the time. I think that's part of
the problem. I think the other thing is that we
are seeing so much more mental illness in society. We
(05:03):
see many more homeless people than when I was growing up,
people who have drug and alcohol issues. All of those
are issues that come under the umbrella of mental health,
and I just think we see more of it. Why.
I don't know. I think the world has become a
more complex, probably a place to live.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I do believe though, that society is more aware of
mental health. I mean, look at the shootings at the
schools and all the things that have happened in the
last decade. More people acknowledge and realize mental health is
a huge thing, and if you feel like somebody in
(05:45):
your family needs help, you get help. Also, as far
as social media, there are things out there to help
people you know.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well so that are struggle. So you know, and I've
said this before, uh when, And I know this is
not necessarily a popular thought, but it it is. My
husband's gone, been gone for almost six years, and I
still hold this to be true. When you have someone
(06:16):
who's threatening suicide and they say call a suicide hotline,
somebody who's decided to take their life is going to
do it, maybe not today.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I think when they call those hotlines it's a cry for.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Help, yes, but sometimes they're not there. So I think
I think it takes a lot of money, effort, resources
to deal with mental health. Mental health, like I said,
is the big umbrella. And I don't think this is
just my opinion. I don't think our society spends enough.
(06:49):
And maybe there's lots of reasons for that, but I
don't think we spend enough on mental health. And that's
why I think kids today have a tougher world than
we have. They have a lot more pressure.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
When I was growing up, I'd never heard of some
things like bipolar and people that are medicated and then
they feel like they shouldn't take the medicines.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
They don't like the way they feel.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Autism as a as another one that I didn't hear
of as a child.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Well, autism a mental health issue, that's a yes. But
but but your point is well taken that there are
that things that are alcohol and drug issues are either
more prevalent today or they're just out in the open.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Work today much more.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yes, but either way, to address these issues, you know
when you when you take someone and you you you
throw them in jail. Really it's not they're not criminals.
They have mental health issues. So it's you know, you
and I aren't about to solve this problem today. But
(07:57):
I think when I was younger, you know, how I
manage my mental health. I truly played a lot of sports,
I read a lot. I kind of the same things
I do now. Frankly, Uh, you know, I exercised, I read,
I I I hung out with friends. But I think
(08:20):
the competition is so much stronger today.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yes, and social media, I mean that's a huge If
you're not important on social media, then you're nobody.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
It's sad people well, and the other thing I think
that effects. I mean, there's so many things we could
do it, we could write a book, literally, but but
the isolation that kids feel today behind their computers, their
screens all the time, I think that affects people's mental health.
You know, there's just.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I'm looking forward to hearing what some of our fans
wrote in for this.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Okay, well, let's get to it then.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Okay, do you want to start? All? Right?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Here we go. The first question is from anonymous. Hi, ladies,
I really need your help. I'm nineteen and my mom
does not understand mental health. I've always struggled with what
I now know is severe anxiety and OCD. I only
recently got a diagnosis. It's been life changing, but it's
(09:28):
still very much an uphill battle trying to manage it.
I could really use my mom's support, but she thinks
it's all made up, which I find really hurtful. I've
even allowed my psychiatrists to contact her and talk her
through my diagnosis, and she still just doesn't get it.
For example, my brother has ADHD, and all she says
(09:51):
is if you wanted to focus you would. How do
I get her to understand I really need all the
support I can get right now, my dad on my side,
but won't even try to get through to her. Thanks ladies. Wow,
so nineteen. I mean that is a tough age right.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
There, that is, and her mom just doesn't get it
when she blames her for for things.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
See, I think the mom gets it exactly. I think
the mom in denial. No, well, I don't know. I
don't know her, but I think she looks in the
mirror and thinks her kids have these problems because of
some way she failed her children.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
That's what I feel.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
She feels guilty that she somehow caused these things. And
I think parents sometimes.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
I mean, I've said it to my kids, if you
want to focus, you've got to pay attention. You got
to pay attention. And here the two of them had
a learning disability. And until I went and had them
tested and met with the school people, I understood and
I felt terrible. I think I think it was dyslexic.
She was reading back. Why aren't you getting this, Brittany,
She explain it again.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
The issue of mental health, dyslexia ADHD, these are all
behave well dyslexia is educational, neurological, and OCD, and these
behaviors come from, you know, different situations in life. The
point is, this girl that we're talking about has a
(11:24):
psychiatrist and meets your mom. And if the psychiatrist can't
get through the mom, I think the mom does know.
I think she just can't face it sometimes, which again
makes it really tough on the child because it does.
Teenagers in this day and age and need a lot
of support.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
And I think lean on your dad more than your mom.
You're not going to convince her yourself and it's only
going to upset her, so let your dad in.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Well, she said, my dad is on, I said, but
won't even try to get through to her. You know
what I would say to you, anonymous, I would lean
on your friends. I know it's tough. I would find teachers,
school counselors, someone at church. I would find people that
can support you. We all want our parents to be
great supporters. Someone think just can't be.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
And you know, I'm reading material and pamphlets on what
it is and have a read them. Denial is not
not understanding, it's denying and that what you said in
the beginning maybe she feels some certain way that my
children have this.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Could it have come from me?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Right? So that's what I'm saying. I don't think she's
denying it. I think she can't face it because she's
blaming herself. The mom's blaming herself. But sweetie, I hate
that you're feeling not supported. Uh So I would really
encourage you. We all want our parents to support us,
but sometimes they just can't. So you need to find
(12:54):
some people.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Who support you exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
And that's no hoping, you know, hoping you're on the
right medication, hoping that you feel better. And teenagers are tough.
It will get easier as you get older.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
It well, okay, thank you Another anonymous, Hi, Kathy and Susan.
I need some help with my son. He's fourteen and
really struggles with trying to regulate his stress or his emotions.
He has so many outbursts and fights with me and
(13:29):
my husband constantly. Is this really just what teenagers are like?
I have no idea how to talk to him. I've
tried to encourage him seeing a therapist or use his
time at the gym to get his stress out, but
it always results in him shutting down and locking himself
(13:50):
in his room.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
What do I do? Thanks so much?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So again this pret professional.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I think he needs this.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Mom, you need to take charge here. He's fourteen, teenage.
You're right on all accounts, Yes, Anonymous, it is teenagers.
It is teenagers. However, that doesn't mean that he doesn't
need help. It doesn't mean that he's going to be
fine and he's going to outgrow it. Again, Susan and
(14:23):
I are not.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Therapist, have some serious issues that he might need medication
or at least somebody to medically to assess him.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Right. So, when she says I've been trying to encourage
me to see a therapist, Anonymous, No, no, No, you
are the parent. You make the appointment with a therapist.
You pick your son up from school, you take him
into the office, and you know what, he may sit
there and clam up and say nothing to this man
or woman whoever the therapist is for two or three weeks,
(14:54):
but eventually.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Once he feels once.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
He feels like he can trust the person. And that's
what they're trained to do, is get kids trust. What
I wouldn't do is do nothing. That's what I.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Would not absolutely not so be full blown depression it
could have anger issues. I mean, you don't know. We're
not doctors. People study this and they know.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
You know, I said this was a hard topic for me.
I will say teenagers love them. I have, I have
three of them. They can be total pains in the
ass Anonymous. But having said that, you can't always chalk
up a child's behavior to being a pain in the
ass teenager.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
So once again, don't assume.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah, yeah, I would. I'd get some help from him,
and don't ask him if he wants to go, you know,
take him. You're the parent, be the parent, get.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Picture, and you want to do it now because he's fourteen.
If you wait till eighteen, you don't know what happens now.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
If you had to l eighteen, If you wait till eighteen,
you have no control. They are legal adults. You can't
force him to do anything exactly. Okay, let's go to question.
Our next question is from another anonymous. Hi, Susan and Cathy.
I have no idea where to start, and I need help.
I just found out that my husband has been living
(16:15):
a secret life. He has another family across the country
in the city where he has his quarterly conferences. If
those are even real he has a fiance and a
son with this other woman. I found out after snooping
through his laptop, following my gut that something was off.
Now he has no idea that I know. What do
(16:38):
I do next? Thanks, ladies, Susan, do not get your
baseball bat out.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
That's so hurtful. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
You have to sit them down and let him know,
you know, I mean, I'm not the one that's going
to blame you.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
You know what I would do if that woman.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Doesn't know either, I'm certain you need to sit him down.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
It's over. I can tell you that.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Well, I'm not. I'm that's that's uh, you know that's why. Well, no,
what I would do if it were me, I would
go to a therapist and I would explain to the
therapist what's happened and ask a therapist how's the best
way to handle it? Because I would be angry, hurt
(17:25):
all of the things, and and I wouldn't trust myself
to sit down in a calm way. And furthermore, you
don't know what his reaction is going to be. You
don't know what's going to happen when you tell him,
so I might, I don't know I'm just saying that
could be a very volatile situation. So I would I
might say, you know, Johnny, whatever your husband's name is,
(17:51):
I'm having an issue. I'm having an issue, and I
would like you to come with me to talk to
a therapist about it. Well, you know, I would try
to get him into a therapist's office and have the
third party break the news and have conversation in the office.
That's what I would do.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
I would fly the girl in and say, let's the
three of us talk.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
You are you serious?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Of dead serious?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh my god. I swear to god I can never
be Italian ever. Because I swear, I mean, I could
never do half the stuff you say in you're Italian?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
So I mean, of course.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Hasn't told him that she knows. So that's very strong
of her right now, because you react and she has it.
She's sleeping with this, she's thinking about it that hopefully
she has time to find her calm and accept what's happening.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
But for me, that marriage is over.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Okay, I see, I can't even get there. I'm her
choice of words. He has a fiance, no, no, darling,
he has a wife and a concubine. She's not a
fiancee because he's married to you, so you cannot have
two wives. The fact that he has a child with her.
I have to be honest, anonymous, you are not the
(19:11):
first wife who has a husband there. Can I just
this is a tough episode. Can I just lighten it?
When I lived in Houston, my dentist, there were I'm
not going to mention their names. There were two players
on the Houston Rockets basketball team. I'm sorry, one player
(19:32):
on the Houston Rockets team who had two wives, two
families living in Houston. I didn't know it, but one
day I was in the dentist's office and the wife
number one is there with her kids, and all of
a sudden, I'm in the chair and I hear this commotion.
Who did that? Get him out of here? Like, I'm like,
I really hadn't. I was getting scared. I said, I
(19:54):
was kind of friends with my hygienist. So she said
to me, it's his other family that they have strict
instructions to never book them. They know they knew each
other existed, to never book them on the same day.
So they walk in they were on the waiting room.
I almost choked on the toothpaste. I had to walk out.
(20:15):
Can I tell you the receptions that booked them? She
was fired on the spot for everybody. I mean, so
what happens is my point.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yes it does.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
But whether you're children, so whether exactly so, whether your
marriage is over or not, it's immaterial until you two
can focus on the break in trust and his lack
of integrity and blah blah blah, all of those important things.
But I think you need professional help to deal with that.
(20:46):
I don't think that's something you tackle on your own.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
It depends on who she is and how strong of
a woman she is, you know, how bad. Yeah, if
you're not going to fly off the handle and kill them, I.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Think an anonymous I'm sorry, Yeah, we're sorry. I know
that we're sorry. Let us know, let us know what happens.
The fact that your gut was telling you something was off.
It's probably been going on a whole lot longer than
you think it as And you know what, there might
be another one. I mean, he might just be a profliga.
What's just he's got women in every town. Whatever, So
(21:23):
figure it out.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
All right, Kathy.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Instead of a game today, we wanted to end off
this episode a little more like.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Oh, thank goodness, this was a tough one.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
So we're going to be just answering some questions about
us and our friendship so you all can get to
know us a little bit better, and we're going to
switch off reading the questions, but we'll both answer every.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
One of them.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Okay, I'm going to start us off. What's a fond
memory you have from when you first became a parent.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Oh? For me, it was holding my first son, my
first child, for the very first time, looking at my
husband and realizing we created this beautiful human name. I'll
never forget it.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Mine was a daughter and that's exactly right. It was
in that hospital looking how beautiful and she was perfect
in her hair, and she had ten fingers and ten toes.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
We did this, we did.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And you know, Susan, I remember my oldest son was
born ten days early and he was fourcept delivery, so
he was red and you know, and I still laugh
about this. When he came out, I said, oh my god,
he's the most beautiful baby. I feel so sorry for
parents who are of a beautiful child. And I thought,
(22:49):
I went back and looked at the pictures and he
was born. Oh, my god, he was the most he
got something the cat dragged in.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
That was my Christopher. He was only three fans. I go, oh,
my god, he looks like a chicken.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, but I didn't say that. I just thought anyway,
being a parent, especially for the first time again. All right,
if you could give your thirty year old self one
piece of advice, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Trust your instincts.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
That's a good one. Uh. Mine would be you got
a lot of life left to live in brain every minute.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, don't sweat the small stuff. All right.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
What's a passion or hobby you picked up after turning fifty?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Dating?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Golfing to play golf?
Speaker 1 (23:37):
No, I was kidding about dating, Oh, passion? Oh, pickleball?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Boxing, I didn't. I couldn't stick with it too long. Boxing,
I don't know those two for sure. Definitely not cooking,
I can tell you that. All right. What's one misconception? Oh?
Oh you alive. I have the same answer on this.
We're gonna have the same answer. What's one misconception people
(24:09):
often have about women in their sixties?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Are we think of the same I think we're done.
We're never done.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Oh. Mine is more specific that women over sixty don't
like sex. That is a misconception.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Oh my god, yeah, sorry, are you kidding me? It's
better at sixty than it was at forty.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I mean, that's just funny. I think. Yeah, I think
people don't understand women in their sixties unless they date
one or are married to one. Okay, all right, what's.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Your proudest accomplishment that no one ever asks you about?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Uh? You know what? Oh, well, you know, back to
the serious stature of this thing. I came from a
pretty abusive family. Not pretty, very abusive. My mother was
very abusive. But people, if they don't.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Know it, would ask.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yeah. So the people that don't know, my friends know.
But my protest accomplishment is that I didn't fall into
the abusive trap and abuse my children the way she
abused me. I was a really good parent. I wasn't
a perfect parent, my kids will tell you.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
But my kids, my kids.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh, they're loved and cared for her. So that's my
proudest accomplishment.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
All right, what's something about your.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Excuse me, what's your protest accomplishment.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Well, it's not my accomplishment that nobody ever asked. Everybody
has always asked. Whatever I've done. I've never had nobody
not ask.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
So well, if they didn't ask, you were willing to
tell them. All right, I'm going to tell all right,
go on, it's.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Something about your co host that would be me that
would surprise new listeners.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I don't want to say it. I'll tell you later. No,
it's not a bad thing. It's just you know, it's
I don't think you'd want listeners to know it. Uh,
let me think I came up with a light one hat.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
I have something about you I think about you that
would surprise new listeners. She's definitely not as hard as
she seems. Sometimes it's got a huge heart.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Thank you. I was What I was going to say,
is that, Susan, is that people always say you're kind
and easy going and lovely, and you are all those things,
but you're not as easy going as people think you are.
Am I right, No, you're not. It's not an insult.
I'm saying you like things done a certain way. Oh
(26:58):
come on, I'm just as far as my house. No,
just in general, like you are you come across. Yes,
you're type A people think of you. Oh I love
people say me all the time. I love Susan, she's
a go with the.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Flow a listeners wouldn't know that about me.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I think new. I think most people think you are
and you are fun and jovial and have a big
heart and love to live and life, live life big.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
But you also I like ignorance, and don't you.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Like like you like things structured and regimented some I
just think people would be surprised to know that. Okay,
all right? Uh if you had to describe your co
host in three words, what would they be? Uh? Go ahead,
you want to go first?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Okay? Funny, direct, and.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Con Okay, those are I actually think those are fair.
I would say for you, uh, bubbly. I would also
say kind and empathetic.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Oh that's a curse. Yes, you are.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Sometimes too much. But before though, all right, we're gonna
keep going here.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
What's the biggest difference between you two?
Speaker 2 (28:25):
And what one thing you're weirdly similar about?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
I mean, the biggest difference right now, Susan has a
boyfriend and I don't. But we're gonna remedy that.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
To me of the biggest differences, I love food. I
like that well, I enjoy I live to eat. And
Kathy is the polar opposite. She doesn't care, she doesn't cook,
and everything tastes the same. It's beyond me.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
That's true, Olthough I do like twelve for nice meal. Susan,
I do be.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Weirdly similar about how important friendships are, how important.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
People, yes, and how important people are in our life.
And I honestly think we're both very empathetic. I do.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Okay, all right, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
What's a memorable moment you two have shared that made
you realize you had a special connection.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
How much time do we have?
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I was just gonna say, oh my god, there's been
some funny ones, like the day in Florida when you
made me go go with you, the date in Saint
Martin when you met Frederica made me.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Go with you French, Spanish and English.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Yeah, I mean I think anybody who go with.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
You as your guest for your son's wedding.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, well you official, that was very memorable. I would say, uh,
we're getting ready to take a cruise. That's gonna be.
That's gonna be a lot of memorable.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Next week we'll talk about that.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Yeah, okay, all right, what's your favorite drink to have
at a nice bar or restaurant, Kathy.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Let's answer for each other.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Dirty water, ranch water.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
I drink ranch water, which is tequila, soda and lime,
or I'll drink vodka. Susan is a grandma, die girl.
She will drink right wine wine.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I know, I know you Martini, French Martina.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yes, a seven? Well you called what's a seven? Six
eight or something?
Speaker 2 (30:20):
What do they call? That's Jones? That's Jones?
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Oh whatever? Yes, all right. What's a belief or opinion
you owe? What's a belief or opinion you've changed your
mind about over the years?
Speaker 2 (30:34):
I know mine, what's yours? Hooking up?
Speaker 1 (30:38):
What about it?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I now know what it really means.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I used to think it was just you know, as
and somebody it's sex, and I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
So I've changed my opinion.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
I think I French. You know that thing is called
a French seventy five. I just came to make yes,
that's what it's called a French seventy five. Okay. I
think I'm not sure that I've I've changed my belief
I've just become a lot softer and a lot more
understanding and tolerant of people's opinions. I think when I
(31:14):
was younger, you know, I was. I know the right
way it should be. Now, I'm like, I'm tolerant people.
You're entitled to your belief, You're entired to your opinion.
I'm not going to spend a lot of time trying
to convince somebody that I'm right. I'm right for me,
maybe not for them.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
What's something you're still learning about yourself? Even now?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I think I think just how I can be the
best version of myself every day and other people see it.
I don't know what would you say?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
What I'm still learning about me?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Yeah, is.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
I've always been okay with me and never realized it,
and I'm learning how I can be okay with who
I am.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Yeah, I guess okay.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Oh wait, I have to say, well, I'm sorry to interrupt.
I just it just hearted me. You you you triggered
me when you said that. I think I'm learning that
I am stronger than I ever thought I was and
still learning that I can still I can still grow,
(32:36):
be stronger and have a soft side to me too.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I agree with that.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
What does success mean to you today compared to when
you were younger.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
I think when we were younger, it was about having
a great career, making money, having the expensive toys or
the nice toys or the nice trips. What does success
mean to you today?
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Just what it always has You succeed.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Do you go try to do something and you succeed
at it.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
That's what it is. I don't think it's changed for me.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Success today means what we alluded to earlier. Seeing my
children be good human beings, give back to their community.
It makes me realize that I was a successful parent.
That you know. It's not about accumulation anymore. It's about
passing the torch to my kids. All right, what's a risk? Oh,
(33:30):
if you don't have to answer this one, Susan, what's
a risk you took that paid off in ways you
never expected? I want you to think there's only one
answer here, Oh dear, Can I answer it for you?
For Frederic fer what's a risk you took? Let let
me let me be a little more clear for you
(33:51):
for the rest of the world. Going to meet a
man in a bar in a strange country that you
didn't speak the same life language.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
And and you fell in love.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
That is a big risk and it paid off in
ways you never expected. You have a man you love
in Saint Martin. What's what's a risk I took going
to the bar with you, hoping he had a brother,
and he didn't. It didn't pay off. Okay, what legacy
are feeling to you hope listeners walk away with after
(34:25):
each episode?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
My feeling is I hoped.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
I hope every time that we helped whoever sent in
these questions and the people that we have on our
guests that come and chat with us, that we made
them feel good and proud of who they are.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Yeah, I agree with all that, and I would yeah,
we left, but I would add that that people, except
maybe the exception of this episode, which is still very important,
people walk away feeling entertained and happy. We brought some
joy laughter into their life for the half hour, and
(35:04):
maybe they got some good advice, They got to know
us better, they had some fun, you know, without it
didn't cost them anything but turning on there. But I
want to say that, and that's that's valuable, right. I
would say though, before we wrap this up, you know,
mental health is unfortunately still somewhat of a taboo subject.
(35:26):
It's better than it used to be, but anybody out
there struggling.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Talk about it themselves.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Or with a partner, or your children get help, just
talk about its help from someone.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
And you know what. Thank you everybody for joining us today.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
This was not as easy as all of our other
episodes because we like to have fun, but this is
very serious and we take it very serious.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah, so be sure to follow Bounce our Happy Hour
because we have new episodes coming out every week and
we promise to bring the fun back next time. We promise, we.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Do, yes, we do.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Make sure you're submitting your questions to us and you
know how to do it. Go to bachelornation dot com,
slash Golden Hour, or dm us on Instagram at Bachelor
Happy Hour.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Listen to bauchel Our Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time,
have a great week.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
See you
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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