July 30, 2026 • 53 mins
A Google search leads Samantha to a truth she never saw coming. And once she starts digging, she can't stop.
If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal team by emailing us at betrayalpod@gmail.com. You can also find us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts.
To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com.
If you are currently in crisis, please reach out to organizations that offer immediate support. We are including a few US-based resources here:
988 Lifeline. If you or someone you know is in crisis or need to talk to someone immediately, please call or text 988 – the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline available 24/7/365.
National Domestic Violence Hotline. They offer 24/7 phone and chat support to help you create a personalized safety plan and connect you with local support.
For resources on sexual violence, visit rainn.org/betrayal. You can also get free, confidential, 24/7 support through RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE.
Every state has a domestic violence coalition. If you’re looking for help in the US, search the web for your state’s domestic violence coalition.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, everyone, we have some exciting news to share. ABC
News Studios has turned Caroline Brega's story from Betrayal season
four into a docuseriies you'll get to meet the people involved,
You'll hear from people who have never spoken before, and
you get to see where this story took place. We
are so proud and excited to share it with you all.
Stream Betrayal Dirty Secrets now on Hulu or Hulu for
(00:22):
Disney Plus.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It was like not being able to look away from
her car accident. I couldn't look away. I couldn't put
it down. It was almost like reading a novel. But
this was my real life.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about
the people we trust the most and the deceptions that
change everything. Samantha Gray as a professor of psychology. Over
the years, She's taught a variety of classes.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I was teaching couples in family therapy. I taught adolescent development.
I taught an undergrad class called Psychology and Technology.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
She got her start in the academic world exploring how
tech shapes are personal identity and how we relate to
each other. Samantha has always loved technology when she was
growing up in the eighties. Her favorite toy was a
wiz Kid.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
It was literally a laptop. It had a little handle,
so I would carry it like it was a little briefcase.
That kind of went along with my vibe.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Her vibe, which Samantha describes.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
As opinionated, inquisitive, and bookish.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Whenever she was around her more rowdy cousins, I was
just kind.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Of like patting my pearls, like, oh my, like they're
going to play in the dirt, Like, oh no, I
had my little purse and I was right at the
adults table.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Samantha wanted to be the first in her family to
go to college.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I'd read the newspaper with my dad and we'd watch
the nightly news together.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Samantha's dad was in the military. Growing up, they moved
a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I was born in Chicago, but then we moved to
Texas and then Georgia, and then we moved to Germany
and then California.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Finally her family settled down in Indianapolis, Indiana. In high school,
Samantha floated between a few social groups.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I wasn't in the super nerdy group. I wasn't in
the cool kids group. I was right there in the middle.
I was the editor for my high school newspaper.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
She wasn't really into high school sports unless she was
writing about a game for the school paper.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
We got passes to go to the football games and
report from the sidelines. I was like VIP coming through.
My access to the cool kids was having to interview players.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
One of those cool kids was a guy we're going
to call Michael.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Michael was popular. He was a football player. He was
tall and big. Everyone called him Big Michael.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Michael had moved out of his parents' house and lived
on his own. He already seemed like an adult, and
Samantha admired.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That he was already kind of grown and maybe that
helped him be the cool guy because he had his
stuff together.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
They both stayed in Indianapolis for college, but they weren't
in touch. A few years into college, a guy Samantha
was talking to invited her to a house party at
his place he lived with a roommate. When Samantha got
to the party, her date went off to smoke with
his friends, leaving Samantha alone.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I didn't I didn't drink. I felt uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Samantha wandered through the party feeling out of place. Then
she walked past the door to the garage. She immediately
recognized Michael. It turned out he was her dates roommate.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
He had converted the garage to a game room. He
had speakers picked up in there.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Michael and some of his friends were hanging out on
a couch in the garage playing video games.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
So I was like, okay, like video games, Like there's
a targeted activity with these people in this room.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Samantha made her way over to the couch. Michael saw
her approaching and immediately made room for her to sit
next to him. He handed her controller and showed her
how to play.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
He's very charismatic, very cacarious, charming. I remember having a
great time.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
They took turns playing a golf video game and laughed
at each other's mistakes. Hanging out with Michael, Samantha finally
felt relaxed at the party. After a while, Samantha got
up to head back into the main house.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You had to go down a step to get to
the loom. I was coming out of the garage and
I fell off that step. I hyper extended my knee
and the whole party got quiet.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Everyone stopped and stared at her. She was so embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I was in searing pain. I was like, let me
just go home and get out of here. Everything, it'll
be fine. I went to stand up and I couldn't
fare wait on it.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
She couldn't get up. She looked around the room, waiting
for someone to help her. She spotted her date, but
he just seemed embarrassed on her behalf. But then she
felt hands lifting her up. It was Michael.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Michael went into straight action. He came over. He's like,
can you stand on it? We tried that I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
When it became clear that she couldn't stand on her own,
Michael didn't hesitate.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
He literally scooped me into his arms in front of
my date, takes me outside, carrying me, puts me in
his car, buckles me in, drove me to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Samantha was awestruck. Michael was taking care of her like
it was the most natural thing in the world.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I thought highly of him and was grateful because my date,
I don't think, had a car or a driver's license.
He literally swept me off my feet.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
The next day, she got a text from Michael. He
had gotten her number from someone at the party, so
he could check in on her. He asked her how
her knee was doing.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
After that, it was like we'd never stop talking.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
She learned more about his life. Even though they were young,
Michael was already a dad. He had two daughters with
his ex girlfriend. He was balancing parenting with going to college.
This didn't scare Samantha away. Michael was responsible and seemed
like a great dad.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I just felt like we had so much to talk about.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Their conversations became more and more flirty. Michael invited her
back to his house to play video games. This time
it was just the two of them.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
We had our first kiss at his house in that garage,
pretending to play video games.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
After that, they started going on dates. In a lot
of ways, Michael and Samantha were pretty different, but the
more they hung out, the more they found things they
had in common.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
We were two kids coming from families that we were
the first generation to go to college. He was innately intelligent,
but he was quick witted for sure, and so I
think we kind of acted over both wanting and academic life,
like to go to college and to talk about the
(08:06):
classes that we were in.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Whenever she was with Michael, life felt brighter and more fun.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I was definitely head over heells. Michael could do no
wrong in Miyes. He was so kind to me. He
was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Six months later, they made their relationship official. When people
from their high school saw them out together. They were confused.
Michael was super social in high school. Everyone remembered him,
but Samantha had flown under the radar.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I'd be standing right next to him and they'd be like, Michael,
what's that big night? They would not acknowledge me, and
I'd realized they didn't know that we were together. And
so then when he would bring me into the conversation,
they were like, oh, hey, how do you know like
to go to our high school? I was yep.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
People seemed to think they were an odd couple, but
neither of them cared about what other people thought.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
We would drive up from Indian Flis to Lake Michigan.
There was this gorgeous peer and we'd go out on
the pier and we would pack like a picnic.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
This was more than just a summer flame. They continued
dating throughout college. As the seasons changed, their relationship stayed
steady and grew stronger.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
A lot of things weren't very traditional. I didn't really
cook and clean. He did the cooking.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Another untraditional thing they did is that while they were
both in college, they decided to get married at the courthouse.
One because they were in love, and two because being
married would help Samantha qualify for financial aid on her tuition.
The arrangement worked for both of them. Samantha and Michael
made just enough money to scrape by.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
We were really struggling. We only gay gas at a
gas station called Speedway, and we'd save up our points.
There were times where that was dinner, like hot dogs, natchos, whatever.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
In her senior year, Samantha started applying to PhD programs.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
And I got into a PhD program straight out of undergrad.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
The program was in Tennessee. It would be a big change,
but this was more than just an academic opportunity. There
was a lot at stake.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
When I got into a PhD program. It was this
amazing opportunity to really change our lives.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
So Samantha and Michael decided to move to Tennessee for
a few years. Michael's daughters stayed in Indiana with their mom.
It was a big sacrifice for him to be away
from his kids, but they knew they were building a
better life for all of them. Starting over was challenging.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Grad school was tough. It was very oddbous that my
peers had backgrounds that were different than mine. They would
talk about their vacation backpacking through Europe or whatever. We
qualified and were on food stamps.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Even though their lifestyle wasn't glamorous, they were happy.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
He was so fun. He was this bigger than life character,
like he wanted to grab life and live it. And
so even though we didn't have a lot of money,
we were also in a new part of the country.
We were in eastern Tennessee, which butts up to the
Smoky Mountains. We would pack a picnic and go to
(11:45):
the Smoky mountains.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Michael always reminded Samantha that life wasn't supposed to be
one long sprint. They had to take time to slow
down and enjoy where they were. Sitting by his side,
the smoky mountains wrapping around them, remembered how far they
had come.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Here we are with this fresh mountain air, and like
here you are on a PhD program. Things are looking up.
We're still poor, but gosh, darn't it like we're just
on the cusp of things being good.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Samantha and Michael dreamed of having a child one day.
Michael was already supporting his two daughters back in Indiana,
and they just didn't have the money to afford to
raise a child of their own.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I knew we did not have money, but I did
want to have a kid. I still wanted to dream
about it, and we did. He was also a big dreamer, so.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
In between late night classes and long shifts at work,
they allowed themselves to dream.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I remember us sitting at the computer in the hallway
and our house. I opened a Microsoft word document and
we created this list of baby names if I had
a girl. I always wanted one of these gender neutral names,
names that were like Andy or Peyton.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
There was one baby name that was at the top
of Samantha's list. We're going to use a pseudonym that
shares the same unique style.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Samantha loves Ellington.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
She didn't know any other kids with that name. Michael
loved it too. At this point in her life, having
a kid was still far away, but she hoped that
dream might one day be within reach. Even though they
(14:01):
didn't have a lot of money, Samantha and Michael were happy.
They were in love, and they had big plans for
their future. After years of hard work, Samantha got her
PhD in psychology. She got an internship and then a
postdoctoral fellowship, and not just any fellowship.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I got to do my post stoc with Cambridge Hospital
in Massachusetts. That is a Harvard medfellowship.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Walking across campus was a real pinch me moment for Samantha.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Here I am with a school id for Harvard, and
I'm going to Harvard Libraries. I'm on Harvard campus for
someone from my background. Never would I have thought that
I would have had any opportunity like that.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
They moved to a town thirty minutes outside of Boston.
It was the start of a new chapter. Michael had
a steady job and Samantha was chasing her dreams. In
their free time, they explored their new city together.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
We were enjoying being on an ocean, like we are Midwesterners.
We got an apartment that was walking distance to the beach.
It was grand. We started to eat better. It was
like we had just enough money to enjoy a few
of the finer things.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Gas Station hot dogs were replaced by fancier options.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Lobster rolls on the beach. Yeah, it was just it
was so cool.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
But that winter in Boston was bitter.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
It was like the snowpocalypse. And even Bostonians were telling me.
They're like, no, Samantha, like this is not normal. We
can now believe that this is your one year in Boston.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Michael was working a retail job with Verizon. When the
temperatures dropped below zero, he still had to go into work.
Then one day he got sick.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
He caught pneumonia and was hot hospitalized.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
In the hospital, while they were treating Michael's pneumonia, the
doctors noticed something even more alarming. Michael had heart failure, and.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
They were like, how has no one told you that
you have heart failure before? Because this is pretty advanced.
There's no way no one told you that you had
major heart issues. And he was like, oh, someone may
have said something, but it didn't seem a serious.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Michael hadn't told Samantha anything about this. Even now, he
was downplaying it, but the doctors were clear he needed
to start treatment immediately after he caught pneumonia. Michael never
fully recovered.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
It was a stark difference to go from walking around
and enjoying the fall to pretty quickly having a significant disability.
His heart couldn't keep up, so he'd run out of breath.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Michael was forced to slow down. He'd kept his heart
issues under wraps for years, but now they were impossible
to ignore.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
He just became more sick, and that was the first
time that I realized that his health would become a
big part of our lives.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
After a year in Boston, Samantha's postdoc fellowship ended, she
and Michael moved home to Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
I was able to secure a tenure track job with
the University of Indianapolis.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
It was a dream job. She'd get to teach classes
in psychology and technology. She would even run her own lab.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
My lab was about social technology and communication.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
But Michael's doctors were worried about the move.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
They were like, when you get out of our care,
you absolutely need to take this seriously. When you get
to Indiana, like, you have to immediately connect with a
team of doctors.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
When they got settled back in Indiana, Michael's health got worse.
He was living with advanced heart failure. It was a
scary diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
I think he was trying to put on a strong
face for everyone else, but behind the curtain, he definitely
couldn't hide it from me.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Soon, even basic tasks like getting around the house became
challenging for Michael.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
There were times I had to help him to the bathroom.
The fluid on his legs was so great that sometimes
he couldn't stand. I was like five to two and
he was over three hundred pounds. I ended up hurting
my own back trying to help him. It was very
difficult to be a caregiver.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
It was a stressful time. Samantha had started working long
hours as a professor. In her time off, she was
caring for Michael.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
It almost made my love for him grow because I
was worse read about his health and him not being around.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
It became clear that Michael was going to need a
heart transplant, but planning for that procedure was a long
and complicated process. They needed a more immediate treatment to
keep him stable, so Michael's doctors started him on a
medication that flowed through a twenty four hour IV.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
He wore a backpack and we hid the pump in
his little backpack. It was to keep him comfortable, but
it was so terrifying that, like you had to keep
the batteries loaded so that this medicine would continuously flow.
If it stopped, he could have died.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
It was terrifying, and their dreams for the future were
put on pause.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
We're still relatively young. Going to the cardiollaist every two
weeks wasn't on our to do list before. It was
a mess. Trying to take care of his physical health
and trying to get tenure. It was extremely stressful.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Michael's doctors advised him not to work. Samantha was making
enough money to cover their bills, and any strenuous physical
effort was too much of a risk for his heart.
But Michael did not take this advice well.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
He was not someone who enjoyed being told no or
having things taken away. He's always been a competitive person.
He was an athlete in his younger years. He's always
considered himself healthy and able bodied.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Against the advice of his doctors, he kept working.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I was telling him, like, Michael, sit down, I can
pay the bills. All you need to do is focus
on your health. I was agreeing with them, doctors. I
saw his condition. The evidence was very clear cut, and
I was like, what if your medicine runs out, what
if you have a stroke or something happens.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Michael insisted that he felt fine.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
He was on a lot of prednizone, which I called
the duct tape of medicine, just a general steroid that
makes you feel great. That's how sick he was. But
he didn't understand they're trying to keep me comfortable. He
only understood I feel great.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
No matter what she said, Samantha could not get Michael
to stop working. He said they needed the money.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I couldn't understand why he was so money hungry.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Michael's health made other aspects of their relationship more challenging.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
There was a difference in our level of physical intimacy
that came along with some of the woes of being
a heart failure patient.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Things were hard. They were stressed about money, work, intimacy,
and the future.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Everything we were going through felt like the pamphlets you
would read in the lobby at the cardiologist's office for
families going through heart to transplant. He felt like financial stress,
relationship stress, intimacy issues.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
All the while, Michael kept coming to her with ways
to make more money. One day, he told her he'd
found a lucrative business model, a trucking company.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Bred box type trucks that just delivered clients' for big
box stores like Low's Home Depot, stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
He'd always wanted to be an entrepreneur. Samantha already knew
she couldn't stop Michael from working, so if he'd found
something he was excited about, she wouldn't stand in his way.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
In this weird time where I felt like he was
losing himself a little bit, losing his identity, I did
want him to be happy, and I wanted to support him.
I was like, Okay, I'll get on board because he's
going to do it anyway.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Michael enrolled in a training program to learn about the
trucking industry. The trainings were extensive and took place in
North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Beat anywhere from three days to a week, so he'd
get a hotel and do the training and then come.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Back whenever he was gone. Samantha worried about him, but
at the time she was working a lot too.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I was working as a tenure track professor, and it
is so much work teaching a class for the first
time and having to prepare the materials. I was at
the office until one two in.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
The morning with all the travel and hotels attending these
trainings became expensive, but Michael found a solution. He had
a friend in the program who would let him stay
at his house.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I was like, that's very kind of them. Are you sure.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Michael assured her that it was totally fine and that
his friend was happy to host him. A few days later,
he left again for North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
One day, he sent me a text message to tell
me that he was going to church, and I was like, oh,
my goodness, you went to church. We haven't gone to
church in a long time, but we both come from
families that faith is really important.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Michael texted her throughout the church service, telling her about
the amazing singer he was watching. She happened to be
performing one of his mom's favorite songs.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
His mom passed away when I was in grad school,
and he was emotional because he was hearing his mother's
favorite songs. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, that does sound amazing.
I'm so glad you got to go.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Samantha was touched by this update from Michael, and.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
He was so excited. He told me the name of
the artist who was singing. He's like, oh, she seems
so great. You got to hear her sing this song,
so I'm thinking, Okay, I'll look it up later.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
When she had a free moment a few hours later,
she decided to look up the singer Michael was raving about.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
I just googled the artist's name date and it came
right up. Except the artist singing that day wasn't in
North Carolina. The artist singing that day was in a
church in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Samantha stared at her screen.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
I immediately knew he was lying. I just didn't know why.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
She pulled up the church's Facebook page.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It was a big enough church that they were recording
their services, and by the time I got on the
Facebook page, those services had already been uploaded to the website.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
She clicked on the recording of that morning service.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
This church records their services from the back of the church,
so the entire congregation was visible. It was like the
back of everyone's heads.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Scanning the crowd. Her eyes landed on Michael.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
My heart sang when I saw him. He's big and tall,
and he's in yellow right smackdeb in the middle of
the spring. And then my heart sank again when I
saw her.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
While Michael was on a work trip. He texted his wife,
Samantha to tell her he was attending an incredible church service.
But when Samantha looked up the church, her reality began
to crack. Michael was lying about the state he was in.
He said he was in North Carolina, but this church
was in Tennessee. And when she watched the recording of
(26:57):
the service, she saw him in the hughes with another woman.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
My heart sank when I saw him, and then it
sank again when I saw her.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
The camera angle gave Samantha a clear view of them.
She could see that they were holding hands.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
I glanced around the congregation. I'm like, wait, this is one
of those times where everyone's supposed to be holding hands,
Like why are we holding hands? Like is this you
know we're gonna do a group prayer? Like what's going on?
And it was quickly, just the next second I realized, Nope,
no one else is holding hands. They are clearly together, coupled.
(27:41):
There was a time on the footage that they kissed,
and I don't know if my heart could possibly sink
one more stage. But he was with a family.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Sitting next to Michael was a young boy, and next
to him an older woman.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
He has a whole other family in this.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
They were all clearly together. Samantha watched in horror.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
There are times where I can see him texting, and
I realized he's texting me.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Michael clearly had no idea the church service was being recorded,
or that by telling her the singer's name, he had
told on himself.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
He was that confident and that comfortable and not concerned
at all. He's like, I can just lie in this
woman's face. She'll never know.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
But now Samantha knew.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
After I found out what he was doing and I
saw the video, I went on a quiet rampage.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Samantha and Michael had been married for over ten years.
She knew all of his passwords. She'd never had any
reason to snoop.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Now I went home that night and I started opening
all the mail I could find, open up old computers.
I've powered up all his old cell phones.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
She held her breath, afraid she would find more evidence
of this affair. But as soon as she powered on
his old devices, she was met with a tidal wave
of information. So many emails and texts from multiple women
she'd never met. This wasn't an isolated affair. This was
(29:33):
his way of life. She began going through his text messages.
In some cases, Michael was paying women for.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Sex transactional to type relationships.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Others were serious emotional connections.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Some of these people they had long term relationships. They
had anniversary text messages. There is one woman who I
think it was like seven years.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Samantha went further and further back in his text and emails.
Michael had been cheating on her for almost their entire marriage.
When she counted up all the evidence she could find,
she had proof of at least fifteen different affairs.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
This is years and years and years of affairs that
I have found. So many women, so many lies. And
these are people who know he's married, right, some women
who would talk about me. To see your husband having
(30:40):
a sexual communication with someone and then that person says,
you better save some of that for your wife. You
guys are trying to have a baby.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
That sentence stopped Samantha in her tracks. She had been
trying to get pregnant for a while, but it had
been a difficult road. Seeing someone joke about it made
her sick. She kept reading, and she noticed something.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
His tone was different with different women.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
One of the women he was having an affair with
worked at a prestigious hospital with her. He texted in
full sentences and made grand gestures.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
He had a beautiful set of flowers delivered to Beth
Israel Hospital in Boston.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
With other women. He was way more casual.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
The language he used, their abbreviations, Oh, the slang he
would use. It almost looked like a teenager texting. I
was like, my goodness, how does he manage these? He
was like a little social chameleon.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
The messages were painful to read, but she couldn't stop.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
It's like not being able to look away from her
car accident. I couldn't look away. I couldn't put it down.
It was dizzying, disorienting. The rug had been pulled from
underneath me.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
She felt like she needed to get to the bottom
of everything. Next, she started going through his finances.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Almost everything I opened had some sort of damning piece
of evidence on it. It was a credit card in
my name, Another credit card in my name. This one
has a dinner date on it. This one has a
concert in Pennsylvania on it.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
It was becoming clear that Michael's work trips were not
what they seemed. He'd been traveling to meet women and
racking up debt in Samantha's name while he was there.
Samantha was stunned. She had always trusted Michael to handle
their bills.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
But that's a bad thing when your partner's cheating on you,
because then you don't look at the bills and you
don't look at what's right in front of your face.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Suddenly, Michael's desire to keep working and keep making money
even when he was so sick, started to make sense.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
That is very expensive to cheat.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
She sat on her bed, bills at old cell phones
piling up around her.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
It was hard to say like, Okay, this is the
point that I should stop looking and go to sleep.
I've got two more phones here that I haven't even
powered up yet. I've got more emails to look through.
When do I put this aside or say like, okay,
now I have enough.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
In the span of a few hours, everything she thought
she knew about her husband had been turned on its head.
So if Michael wasn't who she thought, who was he?
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I was getting to know this person that I didn't know,
and I wanted to know him.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Michael was still in Knoxville. Samantha kept texting him like
everything was normal.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
I didn't want him to know what I knew. I
wanted to be stealthy.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Before she made any decisions. She wanted all the information.
She spent a few days reading everything, all the emails
and all the texts, catching up on the plot of
the lives. She had no idea her husband was living.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
I would go to sleep with a phone in my hand,
my laptop roll was on my bed. It was almost
like reading a novel, but this was my real life.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Finally, she had read all she could read, but still
it didn't feel real.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
In that moment. I was still lost. I kind of
wanted an identity confirmation. This is reality, Like I want
to see his physical body, not through a screen. I
wanted it to be tangible.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
So she decided it was time to take a trip.
Michael had taken her car, so she booked a rental.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
And I drove to Knoxville. I had no idea if
I was going to confront him. I had four and
a half five hours to figure out that out driving.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
When she got to Knoxville, she checked into a hotel. Next,
she needed a disguise.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
I put on a wig, a hat, and sunglasses because
I was on this secretive mission.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
She set out to find Michael, and it was surprisingly simple.
Some of the details he told her were true. He
really was working for a trucking company. When she drove
to the company's address, she found him parked there.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
From there, I started trailing him.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Samantha followed Michael as he drove through the neighborhoods of Knoxville.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
I was so worried that he wouldn't notice that he
was being trailed.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
But he didn't. He drove through Knoxville like he had
nothing to hide. He picked up the woman Samantha had
seen in the church video, and together they drove to
a dog park.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
I'm like, how long have they been together? They have
a dog together? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Samantha parked up on a hill overlooking the dog park.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
I was looking at him. I could see him cheating.
They were holding hands walking the dog.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
She took out her phone and started recording.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
I have video footage of them walking around this park
holding hands, kissing. To me, it was like, if there's
an open and shutcase, this is it.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Michael was strolling through the dog park holding another woman's hand,
like everything about that was normal, Like this was his
only universe, his only life.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
And I started recording myself talking through everything that I
had been through, how I had gotten there. I don't
know why I did it. Maybe it's a psychologist in't me.
It was almost like a trama narrative, like talking to
a friend through a difficult problem. So I'm sitting here
narrating everything. It kept me calm.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
After the dog park, they went to a pancake house.
Samantha followed them there, Then they went to the grocery store.
After that, she gave up on following them. She had
seen all she needed to. She sat in her parked
car staring straight ahead.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
This is a normal life. And that almost made it
more confusing to me, because I'm like, there's nothing sexy
about this. This isn't the classic sort of popular media
representation of an affair where it's like, Okay, I'm going
(37:36):
to check into the hotel, flipping my room car and
I'll be ready for you type of affair, or looking
into each other's eyes talking about our feelings and there's
like a candlelit dinner. That's not how I found my husband.
I found my husband picking up poop after a dog
(38:00):
at a park. This isn't fun. You're just having a
boring life with another family. This is a painful affair.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
When she woke up in her hotel room the next day,
Michael texted her good morning, as he always did.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
He never stopped texting me. Here's my husband. Ate still
send me good morning text messages.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
She still hadn't told Michael that she knew about the
fifteen women, the years of lies, his double life. She
didn't tell him anything. It was his turn to be
left in the dark. It was a beautiful day in Knoxville,
and Samantha was going to church, one church in particular.
(38:48):
She heard there was a great singer there.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Brought my bible, brought my Sunday clothes right. I had
a big cat on. This is church in south He
didn't want me to know what he's doing. Now he
doesn't get to know what I'm doing. I think that
was a big part of why I stayed away, to
regain some kind of control or some kind of power.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
She prepared to confront Michael if he was there that Sunday,
but he wasn't. After she left church, she took herself
on a little drive around Knoxville.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I did a tour of my husband's cheating by the
stuff that I had found. I drove around to the
places that I saw on my credit card receipt. I
didn't go inside to eat, but I drove and I'm like, yep,
there's that restaurant.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
When she'd seen enough, she went home to Indianapolis. Michael
texted her and said that he needed to extend his
work trip for a few more days. She replied she
wanted her car back, and he's.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Like, well, you know, I'm down here doing the work thing.
I said, I don't care. I want my car back.
That was the only inkling I gave him that I
was upset about something, and he was upset because he
couldn't figure out, like, why is this a big deal.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Michael made the drive back to Indianapolis to return her car,
but Samantha wasn't ready to face him.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
He still didn't know that I knew anything. I wasn't
ready yet. I was so afraid of interacting with him
because we've been married for so long, and I'm like,
if he sees me, he's going to know.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
So she got a hotel room for the night and
told Michael she was staying at her dad's place. He
went to their house and dropped off her car. Then
he went back to Knoxville. She was keeping a close
eye on her finances now, and to her horror, she
saw that he tried to take out another credit card
in her name.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
I was like, okay, well, I need to hurry up
because I don't want him doing any more damage.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
She decided to go to the police to file an
identity claim against Michael, but the fact that they were
married made things complicated.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
The police were like, just divorce this guy, that's all
you should do.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Well, Michael was still in Knoxville. Samantha decided to move
out of their house. The university she worked for had
housing available for her to move.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Into, so I packed up everything. It was a quick pack,
didn't sort of anything. I've moved under like the cover
of night.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Basically, she told the people closest to her, including Michael's family,
that she was planning to file for divorce, and.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
That's how he found out that I knew. He found
out that I was divorcing him from his own family.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
But Michael didn't know what exactly Samantha knew. He just
knew that all of a sudden she wanted to end
their marriage. He called her, trying to figure out what
was going on. Samantha told him she knew about the
woman in Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
I was like, are you kidding me? We were trying to
have a kid, and you're down here cheating.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Michael denied everything.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
He never really admitted to anything. He's like, I'm down
here for our family. I'm down here for you. I
know things are bad now, but I'm almost done with
the word thing. It didn't even sound like we were
talking about cheating. His narrative was like, well, whatever you found,
the truth is that I still love you, and I'm
(42:26):
down here trying to strengthen our family, and that as
soon as I get back and I don't have to
come down here for work anymore, we'll get back right
how things used to be.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Michael couldn't even admit to this one affair, let alone
the fourteen others. Samantha knew it was pointless to argue further.
Their marriage was over.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
I have no desire to do any kind of reconnection.
I have no desire to do any kind of work
to try to estalvash the relationship. I don't I don't
even want to waste my breath.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
When Michael finally came back to Indianapolis. He went to
their house, expecting Samantha to be there.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
He put his key in the door, and because I
hadn't moved houses, his key didn't work.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
He called Samantha in a panic.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
He was like, what you do with all my stuff?
And I was like, well, who you got caught cheating
with is who you can stay with.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
After that, Samantha filed for divorce. Michael was faced with
the sobering realization Samantha was walking away. Now he was
the one left desperate for answers. Michael started showing up
at Samantha's job and.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
He was leaving notes on my car. And I contacted
him and I said, I'm officially putting you on notice
that I do not want you coming to my job.
Do not leave notes on my car. If you have
any correspondents, do it through my attorney. And I remember
he was just like, why are you being so cold.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Samantha began setting up an independent life for herself. Not
only did Michael's betrayal take an emotional toll, there was
a huge financial toll to the credit cards he took
out in her name, severely impacted her credit.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
I started protecting myself, locking my credit report, getting my
own health insurance. I was taking my life back, taking
my control back, and still in pain, but still putting
one foot in front of the other. I'm just like, Okay,
finally it's going to be some time, but maybe I
can breathe because I've just been through the wringer.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
One day, when she was at.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
Work after I got my own health insurance, I was
logging into my account. I was in therapy at the time,
and I wanted to make sure that the insurance was
filing things correctly and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
When she logged into her health insurance portal, she noticed
a new claim had been added to her account.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
I didn't know what it was for because I wasn't
really going to the doctor, and especially for that month,
it should have just been just my therapist on there.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
She clicked on the claim and started reading.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
It didn't dawn on me that the date of birth
was on there and it wasn't my date of birth.
It didn't dawn on me that the city that the
claim was in was Knoxville, Tennessee. It didn't dawn on
me that it was a pediatrician that was the provider
and It didn't dawn on me that the last name
(45:34):
of the patient was the last name of my husband.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
The only thing Samantha saw was the name in the
middle of the.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Screen, Ellington he had a baby with this woman, and
he took the name that I was going to give
my daughter if I ever had a little girl.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
That was their baby name one day dreamed of together.
This cut so deep. Something in her snaped.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I was crying, wailing, sobbing. I didn't think that he
could take anything else from me, but I was wrong.
That was the last thing that he could do to me,
and he did.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
A few weeks later, Michael called her. She usually ignored
his calls, but this time she picked up.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
I was just screaming at the top of my lungs.
I don't even think I was making sense. I lowered
my tone and I said, did you have a baby
with this woman?
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Michael played dumb.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
He was just like, what are you talking about? And
I was like, I know already that you had a
baby with this woman.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Samantha held her breath waiting for Michael's response, but all
he said was, I.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Mean, so we're getting divorced, like whatever.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
His nonchalance was stunning.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
I was like, this is the one thing that you
can't deny, Like, there is a life, there's a person
that you have created. Surely that will be the one
thing that you can see that I would fall apart over.
I thought he was actually gonna see how that would
be painful, and yeah, he just he did not. It
(47:33):
took years for us to get divorced. He refused to
sign any of the papers. He would dodge phone calls, emails, subpoenas.
I mean, it was a mess.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
But eventually their divorce was finalized. Michael and Samantha stopped
being in regular communication, but occasionally he or his family
reached out with updates on his health. That was how
she learned Michael's health was declining rapidly. He needed a
new heart.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
He was on the heart transplant list. He was approved
and was waiting for a heart, but he was so
ill that he could not go home.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Michael was living in the hospital waiting for an appropriate match.
His family updated Samantha when he finally made it off
the list. They told her he was going into surgery.
Speaker 2 (48:28):
He never woke up from that surgery. He died the
next day. I began to weep.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Despite everything, she went to Michael's funeral.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
I had the pictures that they could use. I had
the information for the obituary. I was the wife. I
was grieving the husband that I thought I had, The
person that I thought I was married to, was who
I was grieving.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
Samantha navigated complicated layers of grief. One of the hardest
parts was grieving the opportunity to be a mother. She
had to change her long term plans.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
I did get tenure, so that was very exciting. I
bought my own car. I worked really hard to get
my credit restored, and that took time, and that damage
went on for years. I recently bought a house. I
was like, wow, yeah, I did that on my own.
(49:32):
I think for me it also marks having my life restored.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
She hasn't tried to erase Michael from her story.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
It's easier for me to conceptualize it as grief. I
lost one of the most meaningful relationships that I thought
that I'd have for the rest of my life. I
do not discount everything that happened in my marriage. I
think I've learned that it's more like a both and
instead of an either or or. He did these things,
(50:02):
and I had times of joy and happiness in this marriage.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
There's no guide for situations like this one.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
I definitely just learned that I have far more room
for growth and expansion and self care and self love.
Then I thought that I did wisdom. I think that
has come from the situation.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
We end every weekly episode with the same question, why
do you want to share your story?
Speaker 2 (50:42):
I've always believed that there's power and narrative and power
and processing, but I have learned that there is actually
power in sharing outwardly. Shame is one of the most
difficult emotions to work through when it sinks in. It's
so pervasive, it's in every deep dark corner of our minds.
(51:04):
In not hiding, it's the perfect way to work against shame.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly, I.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
Really started to see this pattern that she had been
using for years. It was almost like this chess game
and it was checkmate, and she didn't really care that
we figured it out. We were just chess pieces to her.
Speaker 1 (51:40):
If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please
email Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That is Betrayal
Pod at gmail dot com. Please note that we are
not a mental health organization. If you are in crisis
or currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek
(52:01):
local help or dial nine to one one. Please contact
organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've
included a list of US based resources. You can follow
us on Instagram at Betrayal pod or find me at
It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content,
(52:21):
and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our substack
at Betrayal dot substack dot com. We're grateful for your support.
One way to show support is by subscribing to our
show on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and
review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. Big
thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a
(52:42):
production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group
and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced
by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by
me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our
story editor is Monique, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our
(53:03):
associate producer is Leah Jablow. Production management by Kristin Melcurie
Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali
Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins, with
additional editing and mixing by Matt Albecchio. Betrayals theme composed
by Oliver Bains. Music library provided by my Music and
(53:25):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts
Hi, everyone, we have some exciting news to share. ABC
News Studios has turned Caroline Brega's story from Betrayal season
four into a docuseriies you'll get to meet the people involved,
You'll hear from people who have never spoken before, and
you get to see where this story took place. We
are so proud and excited to share it with you all.
Stream Betrayal Dirty Secrets now on Hulu or Hulu for
(00:22):
Disney Plus.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It was like not being able to look away from
her car accident. I couldn't look away. I couldn't put
it down. It was almost like reading a novel. But
this was my real life.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about
the people we trust the most and the deceptions that
change everything. Samantha Gray as a professor of psychology. Over
the years, She's taught a variety of classes.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I was teaching couples in family therapy. I taught adolescent development.
I taught an undergrad class called Psychology and Technology.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
She got her start in the academic world exploring how
tech shapes are personal identity and how we relate to
each other. Samantha has always loved technology when she was
growing up in the eighties. Her favorite toy was a
wiz Kid.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
It was literally a laptop. It had a little handle,
so I would carry it like it was a little briefcase.
That kind of went along with my vibe.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Her vibe, which Samantha describes.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
As opinionated, inquisitive, and bookish.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Whenever she was around her more rowdy cousins, I was
just kind.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Of like patting my pearls, like, oh my, like they're
going to play in the dirt, Like, oh no, I
had my little purse and I was right at the
adults table.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Samantha wanted to be the first in her family to
go to college.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I'd read the newspaper with my dad and we'd watch
the nightly news together.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Samantha's dad was in the military. Growing up, they moved
a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I was born in Chicago, but then we moved to
Texas and then Georgia, and then we moved to Germany
and then California.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Finally her family settled down in Indianapolis, Indiana. In high school,
Samantha floated between a few social groups.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I wasn't in the super nerdy group. I wasn't in
the cool kids group. I was right there in the middle.
I was the editor for my high school newspaper.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
She wasn't really into high school sports unless she was
writing about a game for the school paper.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
We got passes to go to the football games and
report from the sidelines. I was like VIP coming through.
My access to the cool kids was having to interview players.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
One of those cool kids was a guy we're going
to call Michael.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Michael was popular. He was a football player. He was
tall and big. Everyone called him Big Michael.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Michael had moved out of his parents' house and lived
on his own. He already seemed like an adult, and
Samantha admired.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That he was already kind of grown and maybe that
helped him be the cool guy because he had his
stuff together.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
They both stayed in Indianapolis for college, but they weren't
in touch. A few years into college, a guy Samantha
was talking to invited her to a house party at
his place he lived with a roommate. When Samantha got
to the party, her date went off to smoke with
his friends, leaving Samantha alone.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I didn't I didn't drink. I felt uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Samantha wandered through the party feeling out of place. Then
she walked past the door to the garage. She immediately
recognized Michael. It turned out he was her dates roommate.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
He had converted the garage to a game room. He
had speakers picked up in there.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Michael and some of his friends were hanging out on
a couch in the garage playing video games.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
So I was like, okay, like video games, Like there's
a targeted activity with these people in this room.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Samantha made her way over to the couch. Michael saw
her approaching and immediately made room for her to sit
next to him. He handed her controller and showed her
how to play.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
He's very charismatic, very cacarious, charming. I remember having a
great time.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
They took turns playing a golf video game and laughed
at each other's mistakes. Hanging out with Michael, Samantha finally
felt relaxed at the party. After a while, Samantha got
up to head back into the main house.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You had to go down a step to get to
the loom. I was coming out of the garage and
I fell off that step. I hyper extended my knee
and the whole party got quiet.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Everyone stopped and stared at her. She was so embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I was in searing pain. I was like, let me
just go home and get out of here. Everything, it'll
be fine. I went to stand up and I couldn't
fare wait on it.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
She couldn't get up. She looked around the room, waiting
for someone to help her. She spotted her date, but
he just seemed embarrassed on her behalf. But then she
felt hands lifting her up. It was Michael.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Michael went into straight action. He came over. He's like,
can you stand on it? We tried that I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
When it became clear that she couldn't stand on her own,
Michael didn't hesitate.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
He literally scooped me into his arms in front of
my date, takes me outside, carrying me, puts me in
his car, buckles me in, drove me to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Samantha was awestruck. Michael was taking care of her like
it was the most natural thing in the world.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I thought highly of him and was grateful because my date,
I don't think, had a car or a driver's license.
He literally swept me off my feet.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
The next day, she got a text from Michael. He
had gotten her number from someone at the party, so
he could check in on her. He asked her how
her knee was doing.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
After that, it was like we'd never stop talking.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
She learned more about his life. Even though they were young,
Michael was already a dad. He had two daughters with
his ex girlfriend. He was balancing parenting with going to college.
This didn't scare Samantha away. Michael was responsible and seemed
like a great dad.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I just felt like we had so much to talk about.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Their conversations became more and more flirty. Michael invited her
back to his house to play video games. This time
it was just the two of them.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
We had our first kiss at his house in that garage,
pretending to play video games.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
After that, they started going on dates. In a lot
of ways, Michael and Samantha were pretty different, but the
more they hung out, the more they found things they
had in common.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
We were two kids coming from families that we were
the first generation to go to college. He was innately intelligent,
but he was quick witted for sure, and so I
think we kind of acted over both wanting and academic life,
like to go to college and to talk about the
(08:06):
classes that we were in.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Whenever she was with Michael, life felt brighter and more fun.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I was definitely head over heells. Michael could do no
wrong in Miyes. He was so kind to me. He
was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Six months later, they made their relationship official. When people
from their high school saw them out together. They were confused.
Michael was super social in high school. Everyone remembered him,
but Samantha had flown under the radar.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I'd be standing right next to him and they'd be like, Michael,
what's that big night? They would not acknowledge me, and
I'd realized they didn't know that we were together. And
so then when he would bring me into the conversation,
they were like, oh, hey, how do you know like
to go to our high school? I was yep.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
People seemed to think they were an odd couple, but
neither of them cared about what other people thought.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
We would drive up from Indian Flis to Lake Michigan.
There was this gorgeous peer and we'd go out on
the pier and we would pack like a picnic.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
This was more than just a summer flame. They continued
dating throughout college. As the seasons changed, their relationship stayed
steady and grew stronger.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
A lot of things weren't very traditional. I didn't really
cook and clean. He did the cooking.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Another untraditional thing they did is that while they were
both in college, they decided to get married at the courthouse.
One because they were in love, and two because being
married would help Samantha qualify for financial aid on her tuition.
The arrangement worked for both of them. Samantha and Michael
made just enough money to scrape by.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
We were really struggling. We only gay gas at a
gas station called Speedway, and we'd save up our points.
There were times where that was dinner, like hot dogs, natchos, whatever.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
In her senior year, Samantha started applying to PhD programs.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
And I got into a PhD program straight out of undergrad.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
The program was in Tennessee. It would be a big change,
but this was more than just an academic opportunity. There
was a lot at stake.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
When I got into a PhD program. It was this
amazing opportunity to really change our lives.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
So Samantha and Michael decided to move to Tennessee for
a few years. Michael's daughters stayed in Indiana with their mom.
It was a big sacrifice for him to be away
from his kids, but they knew they were building a
better life for all of them. Starting over was challenging.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Grad school was tough. It was very oddbous that my
peers had backgrounds that were different than mine. They would
talk about their vacation backpacking through Europe or whatever. We
qualified and were on food stamps.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Even though their lifestyle wasn't glamorous, they were happy.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
He was so fun. He was this bigger than life character,
like he wanted to grab life and live it. And
so even though we didn't have a lot of money,
we were also in a new part of the country.
We were in eastern Tennessee, which butts up to the
Smoky Mountains. We would pack a picnic and go to
(11:45):
the Smoky mountains.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Michael always reminded Samantha that life wasn't supposed to be
one long sprint. They had to take time to slow
down and enjoy where they were. Sitting by his side,
the smoky mountains wrapping around them, remembered how far they
had come.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Here we are with this fresh mountain air, and like
here you are on a PhD program. Things are looking up.
We're still poor, but gosh, darn't it like we're just
on the cusp of things being good.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Samantha and Michael dreamed of having a child one day.
Michael was already supporting his two daughters back in Indiana,
and they just didn't have the money to afford to
raise a child of their own.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I knew we did not have money, but I did
want to have a kid. I still wanted to dream
about it, and we did. He was also a big dreamer, so.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
In between late night classes and long shifts at work,
they allowed themselves to dream.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I remember us sitting at the computer in the hallway
and our house. I opened a Microsoft word document and
we created this list of baby names if I had
a girl. I always wanted one of these gender neutral names,
names that were like Andy or Peyton.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
There was one baby name that was at the top
of Samantha's list. We're going to use a pseudonym that
shares the same unique style.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Samantha loves Ellington.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
She didn't know any other kids with that name. Michael
loved it too. At this point in her life, having
a kid was still far away, but she hoped that
dream might one day be within reach. Even though they
(14:01):
didn't have a lot of money, Samantha and Michael were happy.
They were in love, and they had big plans for
their future. After years of hard work, Samantha got her
PhD in psychology. She got an internship and then a
postdoctoral fellowship, and not just any fellowship.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I got to do my post stoc with Cambridge Hospital
in Massachusetts. That is a Harvard medfellowship.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Walking across campus was a real pinch me moment for Samantha.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Here I am with a school id for Harvard, and
I'm going to Harvard Libraries. I'm on Harvard campus for
someone from my background. Never would I have thought that
I would have had any opportunity like that.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
They moved to a town thirty minutes outside of Boston.
It was the start of a new chapter. Michael had
a steady job and Samantha was chasing her dreams. In
their free time, they explored their new city together.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
We were enjoying being on an ocean, like we are Midwesterners.
We got an apartment that was walking distance to the beach.
It was grand. We started to eat better. It was
like we had just enough money to enjoy a few
of the finer things.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Gas Station hot dogs were replaced by fancier options.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Lobster rolls on the beach. Yeah, it was just it
was so cool.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
But that winter in Boston was bitter.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
It was like the snowpocalypse. And even Bostonians were telling me.
They're like, no, Samantha, like this is not normal. We
can now believe that this is your one year in Boston.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Michael was working a retail job with Verizon. When the
temperatures dropped below zero, he still had to go into work.
Then one day he got sick.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
He caught pneumonia and was hot hospitalized.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
In the hospital, while they were treating Michael's pneumonia, the
doctors noticed something even more alarming. Michael had heart failure, and.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
They were like, how has no one told you that
you have heart failure before? Because this is pretty advanced.
There's no way no one told you that you had
major heart issues. And he was like, oh, someone may
have said something, but it didn't seem a serious.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Michael hadn't told Samantha anything about this. Even now, he
was downplaying it, but the doctors were clear he needed
to start treatment immediately after he caught pneumonia. Michael never
fully recovered.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
It was a stark difference to go from walking around
and enjoying the fall to pretty quickly having a significant disability.
His heart couldn't keep up, so he'd run out of breath.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Michael was forced to slow down. He'd kept his heart
issues under wraps for years, but now they were impossible
to ignore.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
He just became more sick, and that was the first
time that I realized that his health would become a
big part of our lives.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
After a year in Boston, Samantha's postdoc fellowship ended, she
and Michael moved home to Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
I was able to secure a tenure track job with
the University of Indianapolis.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
It was a dream job. She'd get to teach classes
in psychology and technology. She would even run her own lab.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
My lab was about social technology and communication.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
But Michael's doctors were worried about the move.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
They were like, when you get out of our care,
you absolutely need to take this seriously. When you get
to Indiana, like, you have to immediately connect with a
team of doctors.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
When they got settled back in Indiana, Michael's health got worse.
He was living with advanced heart failure. It was a
scary diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
I think he was trying to put on a strong
face for everyone else, but behind the curtain, he definitely
couldn't hide it from me.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Soon, even basic tasks like getting around the house became
challenging for Michael.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
There were times I had to help him to the bathroom.
The fluid on his legs was so great that sometimes
he couldn't stand. I was like five to two and
he was over three hundred pounds. I ended up hurting
my own back trying to help him. It was very
difficult to be a caregiver.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
It was a stressful time. Samantha had started working long
hours as a professor. In her time off, she was
caring for Michael.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
It almost made my love for him grow because I
was worse read about his health and him not being around.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
It became clear that Michael was going to need a
heart transplant, but planning for that procedure was a long
and complicated process. They needed a more immediate treatment to
keep him stable, so Michael's doctors started him on a
medication that flowed through a twenty four hour IV.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
He wore a backpack and we hid the pump in
his little backpack. It was to keep him comfortable, but
it was so terrifying that, like you had to keep
the batteries loaded so that this medicine would continuously flow.
If it stopped, he could have died.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
It was terrifying, and their dreams for the future were
put on pause.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
We're still relatively young. Going to the cardiollaist every two
weeks wasn't on our to do list before. It was
a mess. Trying to take care of his physical health
and trying to get tenure. It was extremely stressful.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Michael's doctors advised him not to work. Samantha was making
enough money to cover their bills, and any strenuous physical
effort was too much of a risk for his heart.
But Michael did not take this advice well.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
He was not someone who enjoyed being told no or
having things taken away. He's always been a competitive person.
He was an athlete in his younger years. He's always
considered himself healthy and able bodied.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Against the advice of his doctors, he kept working.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I was telling him, like, Michael, sit down, I can
pay the bills. All you need to do is focus
on your health. I was agreeing with them, doctors. I
saw his condition. The evidence was very clear cut, and
I was like, what if your medicine runs out, what
if you have a stroke or something happens.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Michael insisted that he felt fine.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
He was on a lot of prednizone, which I called
the duct tape of medicine, just a general steroid that
makes you feel great. That's how sick he was. But
he didn't understand they're trying to keep me comfortable. He
only understood I feel great.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
No matter what she said, Samantha could not get Michael
to stop working. He said they needed the money.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I couldn't understand why he was so money hungry.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Michael's health made other aspects of their relationship more challenging.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
There was a difference in our level of physical intimacy
that came along with some of the woes of being
a heart failure patient.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Things were hard. They were stressed about money, work, intimacy,
and the future.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Everything we were going through felt like the pamphlets you
would read in the lobby at the cardiologist's office for
families going through heart to transplant. He felt like financial stress,
relationship stress, intimacy issues.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
All the while, Michael kept coming to her with ways
to make more money. One day, he told her he'd
found a lucrative business model, a trucking company.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Bred box type trucks that just delivered clients' for big
box stores like Low's Home Depot, stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
He'd always wanted to be an entrepreneur. Samantha already knew
she couldn't stop Michael from working, so if he'd found
something he was excited about, she wouldn't stand in his way.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
In this weird time where I felt like he was
losing himself a little bit, losing his identity, I did
want him to be happy, and I wanted to support him.
I was like, Okay, I'll get on board because he's
going to do it anyway.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Michael enrolled in a training program to learn about the
trucking industry. The trainings were extensive and took place in
North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Beat anywhere from three days to a week, so he'd
get a hotel and do the training and then come.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Back whenever he was gone. Samantha worried about him, but
at the time she was working a lot too.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I was working as a tenure track professor, and it
is so much work teaching a class for the first
time and having to prepare the materials. I was at
the office until one two in.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
The morning with all the travel and hotels attending these
trainings became expensive, but Michael found a solution. He had
a friend in the program who would let him stay
at his house.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I was like, that's very kind of them. Are you sure.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Michael assured her that it was totally fine and that
his friend was happy to host him. A few days later,
he left again for North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
One day, he sent me a text message to tell
me that he was going to church, and I was like, oh,
my goodness, you went to church. We haven't gone to
church in a long time, but we both come from
families that faith is really important.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Michael texted her throughout the church service, telling her about
the amazing singer he was watching. She happened to be
performing one of his mom's favorite songs.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
His mom passed away when I was in grad school,
and he was emotional because he was hearing his mother's
favorite songs. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, that does sound amazing.
I'm so glad you got to go.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Samantha was touched by this update from Michael, and.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
He was so excited. He told me the name of
the artist who was singing. He's like, oh, she seems
so great. You got to hear her sing this song,
so I'm thinking, Okay, I'll look it up later.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
When she had a free moment a few hours later,
she decided to look up the singer Michael was raving about.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
I just googled the artist's name date and it came
right up. Except the artist singing that day wasn't in
North Carolina. The artist singing that day was in a
church in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Samantha stared at her screen.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
I immediately knew he was lying. I just didn't know why.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
She pulled up the church's Facebook page.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It was a big enough church that they were recording
their services, and by the time I got on the
Facebook page, those services had already been uploaded to the website.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
She clicked on the recording of that morning service.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
This church records their services from the back of the church,
so the entire congregation was visible. It was like the
back of everyone's heads.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Scanning the crowd. Her eyes landed on Michael.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
My heart sang when I saw him. He's big and tall,
and he's in yellow right smackdeb in the middle of
the spring. And then my heart sank again when I
saw her.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
While Michael was on a work trip. He texted his wife,
Samantha to tell her he was attending an incredible church service.
But when Samantha looked up the church, her reality began
to crack. Michael was lying about the state he was in.
He said he was in North Carolina, but this church
was in Tennessee. And when she watched the recording of
(26:57):
the service, she saw him in the hughes with another woman.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
My heart sank when I saw him, and then it
sank again when I saw her.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
The camera angle gave Samantha a clear view of them.
She could see that they were holding hands.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
I glanced around the congregation. I'm like, wait, this is one
of those times where everyone's supposed to be holding hands,
Like why are we holding hands? Like is this you
know we're gonna do a group prayer? Like what's going on?
And it was quickly, just the next second I realized, Nope,
no one else is holding hands. They are clearly together, coupled.
(27:41):
There was a time on the footage that they kissed,
and I don't know if my heart could possibly sink
one more stage. But he was with a family.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Sitting next to Michael was a young boy, and next
to him an older woman.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
He has a whole other family in this.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
They were all clearly together. Samantha watched in horror.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
There are times where I can see him texting, and
I realized he's texting me.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Michael clearly had no idea the church service was being recorded,
or that by telling her the singer's name, he had
told on himself.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
He was that confident and that comfortable and not concerned
at all. He's like, I can just lie in this
woman's face. She'll never know.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
But now Samantha knew.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
After I found out what he was doing and I
saw the video, I went on a quiet rampage.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Samantha and Michael had been married for over ten years.
She knew all of his passwords. She'd never had any
reason to snoop.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Now I went home that night and I started opening
all the mail I could find, open up old computers.
I've powered up all his old cell phones.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
She held her breath, afraid she would find more evidence
of this affair. But as soon as she powered on
his old devices, she was met with a tidal wave
of information. So many emails and texts from multiple women
she'd never met. This wasn't an isolated affair. This was
(29:33):
his way of life. She began going through his text messages.
In some cases, Michael was paying women for.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Sex transactional to type relationships.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Others were serious emotional connections.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Some of these people they had long term relationships. They
had anniversary text messages. There is one woman who I
think it was like seven years.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Samantha went further and further back in his text and emails.
Michael had been cheating on her for almost their entire marriage.
When she counted up all the evidence she could find,
she had proof of at least fifteen different affairs.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
This is years and years and years of affairs that
I have found. So many women, so many lies. And
these are people who know he's married, right, some women
who would talk about me. To see your husband having
(30:40):
a sexual communication with someone and then that person says,
you better save some of that for your wife. You
guys are trying to have a baby.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
That sentence stopped Samantha in her tracks. She had been
trying to get pregnant for a while, but it had
been a difficult road. Seeing someone joke about it made
her sick. She kept reading, and she noticed something.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
His tone was different with different women.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
One of the women he was having an affair with
worked at a prestigious hospital with her. He texted in
full sentences and made grand gestures.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
He had a beautiful set of flowers delivered to Beth
Israel Hospital in Boston.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
With other women. He was way more casual.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
The language he used, their abbreviations, Oh, the slang he
would use. It almost looked like a teenager texting. I
was like, my goodness, how does he manage these? He
was like a little social chameleon.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
The messages were painful to read, but she couldn't stop.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
It's like not being able to look away from her
car accident. I couldn't look away. I couldn't put it down.
It was dizzying, disorienting. The rug had been pulled from
underneath me.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
She felt like she needed to get to the bottom
of everything. Next, she started going through his finances.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Almost everything I opened had some sort of damning piece
of evidence on it. It was a credit card in
my name, Another credit card in my name. This one
has a dinner date on it. This one has a
concert in Pennsylvania on it.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
It was becoming clear that Michael's work trips were not
what they seemed. He'd been traveling to meet women and
racking up debt in Samantha's name while he was there.
Samantha was stunned. She had always trusted Michael to handle
their bills.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
But that's a bad thing when your partner's cheating on you,
because then you don't look at the bills and you
don't look at what's right in front of your face.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Suddenly, Michael's desire to keep working and keep making money
even when he was so sick, started to make sense.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
That is very expensive to cheat.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
She sat on her bed, bills at old cell phones
piling up around her.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
It was hard to say like, Okay, this is the
point that I should stop looking and go to sleep.
I've got two more phones here that I haven't even
powered up yet. I've got more emails to look through.
When do I put this aside or say like, okay,
now I have enough.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
In the span of a few hours, everything she thought
she knew about her husband had been turned on its head.
So if Michael wasn't who she thought, who was he?
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I was getting to know this person that I didn't know,
and I wanted to know him.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Michael was still in Knoxville. Samantha kept texting him like
everything was normal.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
I didn't want him to know what I knew. I
wanted to be stealthy.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Before she made any decisions. She wanted all the information.
She spent a few days reading everything, all the emails
and all the texts, catching up on the plot of
the lives. She had no idea her husband was living.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
I would go to sleep with a phone in my hand,
my laptop roll was on my bed. It was almost
like reading a novel, but this was my real life.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Finally, she had read all she could read, but still
it didn't feel real.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
In that moment. I was still lost. I kind of
wanted an identity confirmation. This is reality, Like I want
to see his physical body, not through a screen. I
wanted it to be tangible.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
So she decided it was time to take a trip.
Michael had taken her car, so she booked a rental.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
And I drove to Knoxville. I had no idea if
I was going to confront him. I had four and
a half five hours to figure out that out driving.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
When she got to Knoxville, she checked into a hotel. Next,
she needed a disguise.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
I put on a wig, a hat, and sunglasses because
I was on this secretive mission.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
She set out to find Michael, and it was surprisingly simple.
Some of the details he told her were true. He
really was working for a trucking company. When she drove
to the company's address, she found him parked there.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
From there, I started trailing him.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Samantha followed Michael as he drove through the neighborhoods of Knoxville.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
I was so worried that he wouldn't notice that he
was being trailed.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
But he didn't. He drove through Knoxville like he had
nothing to hide. He picked up the woman Samantha had
seen in the church video, and together they drove to
a dog park.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
I'm like, how long have they been together? They have
a dog together? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Samantha parked up on a hill overlooking the dog park.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
I was looking at him. I could see him cheating.
They were holding hands walking the dog.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
She took out her phone and started recording.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
I have video footage of them walking around this park
holding hands, kissing. To me, it was like, if there's
an open and shutcase, this is it.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Michael was strolling through the dog park holding another woman's hand,
like everything about that was normal, Like this was his
only universe, his only life.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
And I started recording myself talking through everything that I
had been through, how I had gotten there. I don't
know why I did it. Maybe it's a psychologist in't me.
It was almost like a trama narrative, like talking to
a friend through a difficult problem. So I'm sitting here
narrating everything. It kept me calm.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
After the dog park, they went to a pancake house.
Samantha followed them there, Then they went to the grocery store.
After that, she gave up on following them. She had
seen all she needed to. She sat in her parked
car staring straight ahead.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
This is a normal life. And that almost made it
more confusing to me, because I'm like, there's nothing sexy
about this. This isn't the classic sort of popular media
representation of an affair where it's like, Okay, I'm going
(37:36):
to check into the hotel, flipping my room car and
I'll be ready for you type of affair, or looking
into each other's eyes talking about our feelings and there's
like a candlelit dinner. That's not how I found my husband.
I found my husband picking up poop after a dog
(38:00):
at a park. This isn't fun. You're just having a
boring life with another family. This is a painful affair.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
When she woke up in her hotel room the next day,
Michael texted her good morning, as he always did.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
He never stopped texting me. Here's my husband. Ate still
send me good morning text messages.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
She still hadn't told Michael that she knew about the
fifteen women, the years of lies, his double life. She
didn't tell him anything. It was his turn to be
left in the dark. It was a beautiful day in Knoxville,
and Samantha was going to church, one church in particular.
(38:48):
She heard there was a great singer there.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Brought my bible, brought my Sunday clothes right. I had
a big cat on. This is church in south He
didn't want me to know what he's doing. Now he
doesn't get to know what I'm doing. I think that
was a big part of why I stayed away, to
regain some kind of control or some kind of power.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
She prepared to confront Michael if he was there that Sunday,
but he wasn't. After she left church, she took herself
on a little drive around Knoxville.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I did a tour of my husband's cheating by the
stuff that I had found. I drove around to the
places that I saw on my credit card receipt. I
didn't go inside to eat, but I drove and I'm like, yep,
there's that restaurant.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
When she'd seen enough, she went home to Indianapolis. Michael
texted her and said that he needed to extend his
work trip for a few more days. She replied she
wanted her car back, and he's.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Like, well, you know, I'm down here doing the work thing.
I said, I don't care. I want my car back.
That was the only inkling I gave him that I
was upset about something, and he was upset because he
couldn't figure out, like, why is this a big deal.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Michael made the drive back to Indianapolis to return her car,
but Samantha wasn't ready to face him.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
He still didn't know that I knew anything. I wasn't
ready yet. I was so afraid of interacting with him
because we've been married for so long, and I'm like,
if he sees me, he's going to know.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
So she got a hotel room for the night and
told Michael she was staying at her dad's place. He
went to their house and dropped off her car. Then
he went back to Knoxville. She was keeping a close
eye on her finances now, and to her horror, she
saw that he tried to take out another credit card
in her name.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
I was like, okay, well, I need to hurry up
because I don't want him doing any more damage.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
She decided to go to the police to file an
identity claim against Michael, but the fact that they were
married made things complicated.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
The police were like, just divorce this guy, that's all
you should do.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Well, Michael was still in Knoxville. Samantha decided to move
out of their house. The university she worked for had
housing available for her to move.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Into, so I packed up everything. It was a quick pack,
didn't sort of anything. I've moved under like the cover
of night.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Basically, she told the people closest to her, including Michael's family,
that she was planning to file for divorce, and.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
That's how he found out that I knew. He found
out that I was divorcing him from his own family.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
But Michael didn't know what exactly Samantha knew. He just
knew that all of a sudden she wanted to end
their marriage. He called her, trying to figure out what
was going on. Samantha told him she knew about the
woman in Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
I was like, are you kidding me? We were trying to
have a kid, and you're down here cheating.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Michael denied everything.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
He never really admitted to anything. He's like, I'm down
here for our family. I'm down here for you. I
know things are bad now, but I'm almost done with
the word thing. It didn't even sound like we were
talking about cheating. His narrative was like, well, whatever you found,
the truth is that I still love you, and I'm
(42:26):
down here trying to strengthen our family, and that as
soon as I get back and I don't have to
come down here for work anymore, we'll get back right
how things used to be.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Michael couldn't even admit to this one affair, let alone
the fourteen others. Samantha knew it was pointless to argue further.
Their marriage was over.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
I have no desire to do any kind of reconnection.
I have no desire to do any kind of work
to try to estalvash the relationship. I don't I don't
even want to waste my breath.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
When Michael finally came back to Indianapolis. He went to
their house, expecting Samantha to be there.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
He put his key in the door, and because I
hadn't moved houses, his key didn't work.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
He called Samantha in a panic.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
He was like, what you do with all my stuff?
And I was like, well, who you got caught cheating
with is who you can stay with.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
After that, Samantha filed for divorce. Michael was faced with
the sobering realization Samantha was walking away. Now he was
the one left desperate for answers. Michael started showing up
at Samantha's job and.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
He was leaving notes on my car. And I contacted
him and I said, I'm officially putting you on notice
that I do not want you coming to my job.
Do not leave notes on my car. If you have
any correspondents, do it through my attorney. And I remember
he was just like, why are you being so cold.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Samantha began setting up an independent life for herself. Not
only did Michael's betrayal take an emotional toll, there was
a huge financial toll to the credit cards he took
out in her name, severely impacted her credit.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
I started protecting myself, locking my credit report, getting my
own health insurance. I was taking my life back, taking
my control back, and still in pain, but still putting
one foot in front of the other. I'm just like, Okay,
finally it's going to be some time, but maybe I
can breathe because I've just been through the wringer.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
One day, when she was at.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
Work after I got my own health insurance, I was
logging into my account. I was in therapy at the time,
and I wanted to make sure that the insurance was
filing things correctly and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
When she logged into her health insurance portal, she noticed
a new claim had been added to her account.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
I didn't know what it was for because I wasn't
really going to the doctor, and especially for that month,
it should have just been just my therapist on there.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
She clicked on the claim and started reading.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
It didn't dawn on me that the date of birth
was on there and it wasn't my date of birth.
It didn't dawn on me that the city that the
claim was in was Knoxville, Tennessee. It didn't dawn on
me that it was a pediatrician that was the provider
and It didn't dawn on me that the last name
(45:34):
of the patient was the last name of my husband.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
The only thing Samantha saw was the name in the
middle of the.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Screen, Ellington he had a baby with this woman, and
he took the name that I was going to give
my daughter if I ever had a little girl.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
That was their baby name one day dreamed of together.
This cut so deep. Something in her snaped.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I was crying, wailing, sobbing. I didn't think that he
could take anything else from me, but I was wrong.
That was the last thing that he could do to me,
and he did.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
A few weeks later, Michael called her. She usually ignored
his calls, but this time she picked up.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
I was just screaming at the top of my lungs.
I don't even think I was making sense. I lowered
my tone and I said, did you have a baby
with this woman?
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Michael played dumb.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
He was just like, what are you talking about? And
I was like, I know already that you had a
baby with this woman.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Samantha held her breath waiting for Michael's response, but all
he said was, I.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Mean, so we're getting divorced, like whatever.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
His nonchalance was stunning.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
I was like, this is the one thing that you
can't deny, Like, there is a life, there's a person
that you have created. Surely that will be the one
thing that you can see that I would fall apart over.
I thought he was actually gonna see how that would
be painful, and yeah, he just he did not. It
(47:33):
took years for us to get divorced. He refused to
sign any of the papers. He would dodge phone calls, emails, subpoenas.
I mean, it was a mess.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
But eventually their divorce was finalized. Michael and Samantha stopped
being in regular communication, but occasionally he or his family
reached out with updates on his health. That was how
she learned Michael's health was declining rapidly. He needed a
new heart.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
He was on the heart transplant list. He was approved
and was waiting for a heart, but he was so
ill that he could not go home.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Michael was living in the hospital waiting for an appropriate match.
His family updated Samantha when he finally made it off
the list. They told her he was going into surgery.
Speaker 2 (48:28):
He never woke up from that surgery. He died the
next day. I began to weep.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Despite everything, she went to Michael's funeral.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
I had the pictures that they could use. I had
the information for the obituary. I was the wife. I
was grieving the husband that I thought I had, The
person that I thought I was married to, was who
I was grieving.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
Samantha navigated complicated layers of grief. One of the hardest
parts was grieving the opportunity to be a mother. She
had to change her long term plans.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
I did get tenure, so that was very exciting. I
bought my own car. I worked really hard to get
my credit restored, and that took time, and that damage
went on for years. I recently bought a house. I
was like, wow, yeah, I did that on my own.
(49:32):
I think for me it also marks having my life restored.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
She hasn't tried to erase Michael from her story.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
It's easier for me to conceptualize it as grief. I
lost one of the most meaningful relationships that I thought
that I'd have for the rest of my life. I
do not discount everything that happened in my marriage. I
think I've learned that it's more like a both and
instead of an either or or. He did these things,
(50:02):
and I had times of joy and happiness in this marriage.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
There's no guide for situations like this one.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
I definitely just learned that I have far more room
for growth and expansion and self care and self love.
Then I thought that I did wisdom. I think that
has come from the situation.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
We end every weekly episode with the same question, why
do you want to share your story?
Speaker 2 (50:42):
I've always believed that there's power and narrative and power
and processing, but I have learned that there is actually
power in sharing outwardly. Shame is one of the most
difficult emotions to work through when it sinks in. It's
so pervasive, it's in every deep dark corner of our minds.
(51:04):
In not hiding, it's the perfect way to work against shame.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly, I.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
Really started to see this pattern that she had been
using for years. It was almost like this chess game
and it was checkmate, and she didn't really care that
we figured it out. We were just chess pieces to her.
Speaker 1 (51:40):
If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please
email Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That is Betrayal
Pod at gmail dot com. Please note that we are
not a mental health organization. If you are in crisis
or currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek
(52:01):
local help or dial nine to one one. Please contact
organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've
included a list of US based resources. You can follow
us on Instagram at Betrayal pod or find me at
It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content,
(52:21):
and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our substack
at Betrayal dot substack dot com. We're grateful for your support.
One way to show support is by subscribing to our
show on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and
review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. Big
thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a
(52:42):
production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group
and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced
by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by
me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our
story editor is Monique, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our
(53:03):
associate producer is Leah Jablow. Production management by Kristin Melcurie
Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali
Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins, with
additional editing and mixing by Matt Albecchio. Betrayals theme composed
by Oliver Bains. Music library provided by my Music and
(53:25):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts
Host
Andrea Gunning
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.