June 10, 2026 • 20 mins
After nearly 30 years together, Heather and Terry get honest about the things that keep them close.
From scheduled sex, to a "sleep divorce" and going to bed angry, they share what's actually worked.
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hi of Heather Dubreu, and I'm doctor Terry debrou And
we're going to keep this between us.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
For about thirty minutes. The will share with you.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
People are always asking about our relationship. We are married
twenty seven years, we decided and in December we will
be together thirty years.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Oh my gosh, it's incredible. You know. What's so good?
Is my favorite thing And every time it happens, I
in my mind, I said, should I say it? Or
is this just like I say it too much? And
we don't say enough. But I look at you and
I go, I can't believe. This is where I want
to be right now, always just to be here talking
(00:42):
to you. Right. Remember we were in Cabo, yeah, and
we were trying to avoid the wedding party, and we
sat down just to have coffee before going to the gym,
and we have It's amazing when you can just sit
down and just yack gack yack yack like two little
(01:03):
sorority girls that have, you know, no concept of time.
You and I can do that every single day. It's
so nice, you know. But it's funny because our marriage
has had its ebbs and flows. Of course, right i'd say,
more flows than ebbs, but a couple of ebbs. Yep.
(01:24):
And although you you lectured me yesterday about a certain
something I did, Yes, And then you went on to
enlarge that conversation to encompass anything I've ever done for
the last thirty years. Oh, yes, you did. I really.
(01:44):
I remember when you ran over my cut that whole thing.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I did not, Yeah, you did, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
But anything. So we have some questions about our marriage
because I think people know a lot about it. But
so one question is what are what are things that
we do in front of each other after a decade
that would have horrified you when we were horrified as
we were dating each other.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I don't think we do anything.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
It's weird. We we don't go to the bathroom in
front of each other. No, I don't pass We don't
pass gas. Although you occasionally sleep, I don't. Just don't
tell you about it. I Oh, I know what I do.
The floss floss.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yes, remember you used to have a FLOSSI problem. You
would floss everywhere, was disgusting.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, I do. I'm starting to floss again, a lot
of it.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I know, you guys.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
One thing I do which grosses you out.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
You blow your nose in a cloth napkin.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yes, it is disgusting.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
At a restaurant full nose blow in a cloth napkin?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yes, disgusting.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Rarely, by the way, not rare. Not okay, what percent
of the meals we go out seven nights a week,
what percent of the meals do I blow the nose
in a cloth napp That is such a lie. My
nose is a night like that?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
No, I don't tell you, no, nine No.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
My mother blows her nose a lot. So you're triggered
about nose blowing.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
But it's also disgusting.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You cannot, I am sure in the etiquette books it
would say to go to the restroom and blow your nose.
And certainly, or if you had to sneeze or something
at the table, you would have a tissue or something
not into your.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Linen napkin that you're using on your life.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
But in general, we sort of treat each other at
least in terms of like disgusting things that human beings
do as if we're still dating, right, like I would not, Well,
there's just I don't have to list them the disgusting
things that humans do, right I would.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Let's not do that.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
No, but I could you imagine do that? Would imagine
pooping in front of me? No?
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I think that's gross.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
But I bet your husbands and wives do that really
poop with the door the bathroom door open. I don't know,
like if you're in the bat well to have separate bathrooms.
But but but this weekend's share a bathroom. We shared
a bathroom in Cabo. We usually get a room with
two I will help, boug. You were usually we always
get rooms with two bathrooms. Yes, and I get the
(04:15):
little guest bathroom with the you know, the nothing in it,
with the bar of soap.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
You get the two the king bathroom, the.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
King with all this stuff. But so we actually I
had to go in there to use the bathroom to
pee when you were in there, and I thought, I
don't want to pee with the door closed. But I
still didn't really want to do That's funny.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So I was looking I saw on Instagram. I saw
this couple and I don't remember what her handle is,
but she was showing she and her husband live in
this very nice house and you know people do the
sleep divorce thing.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yes, this I had not seen before.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
It wasn't just like one sleeps in another Yes, it's
not like one sleeps in in another room. It's like
they have completely separate situations.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Sooms no, No.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
He has a living room area, bedroom, bathroom, sweet closet,
and their roommates right, and she has her whole own that.
I love this.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
I said this to you yesterday. Remember we were talking about.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
You accused me of wanting this.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yesterday you just said you loved it.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
It's a joke.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Well, maybe you do love it.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
That's why I bring it up for conversation. But this
is so I guess there's different stages of this. I
think I understand in my brain. Why you know, listen,
you snore this whatever. People don't want to sleep in
the same bed. They want better rest. I totally get that.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
But to me, as a couple, when you don't.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Interface with each other a lot, meaning you don't cross paths, right,
you don't spend time together.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
That's just the truth.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Except you and I spend But.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
You and I also cross paths.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
We sleep in the same bed even though we have
separate bathrooms. They're near each other, or were we walk
through the same hall.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
We're the perfect couple to do that because we spend
so much time together anyway, wouldn't be nice for you
we had our own sections.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I think it would.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I personally think it would be hurtful to a relationship.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I don't know. We share unfortunately in office right now.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
That's not that doesn't work that I agree with.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I liked having my own office in that old house
that I could go in and like.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
But we're fixing that.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yes, we're going to get you your own office. But
aside from the office, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
What are your occurring arguments you both accepted will never
be resolved. I think, by the way, if you want
to hear us get into an argument, let's answer this question.
Uh yeah, I don't think this. I think we should
pass on this.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But it is important to note that when you get
to an impasse about things, you can't bring it back
up again.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
It's got to go.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Scheduling intimacy. Does it plan It killed the mood. Planning
it killed the mood. To save your marriage, I think
it saves your marriage. Yeah, yeah, Sometimes we will be
so busy and so burnt out that it's a problem,
so we have to plan it.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Also, sometimes it's even simple things like planning ahead. And
this might be Tami and our kids are going to
kill us for saying this. But I mean if we
have an event we have to go to and we
are both looking to have a moment of love and
we're like, oh, tonight whatever. There are times I it
happened recently I texted you and oh, yeah, it's like,
(07:47):
where are you come downstairs? Because I thought, oh, by
the time we get back from this thing, yeah, we're
gonna have liquor on board.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
We're gonna be tired.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Like, yeah, I think it's better to have sex at
these days before we go out. Yeah, therapy, do you
go together? Have you ever gone? We have never gone
to therapy.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
We've talked about it, We've talked about it, but we
never went.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Yeah. And I think one of the reasons we have
not gone to therapies because we're having issues. We tend
to get past them, but you're also afraid it's going
to bring up some terrible things that will that one
or both of us will say something that you won't
be able to get past.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
No, I don't know that. I just think, to me,
I think they're we've I'm not stopping us from going.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Well, I we don't need to go right now, but
there are times when we could have benefited from it.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
I'm sure, and I think also you told me once,
was it Rob Lowe who was saying he and his
wife go it's like having a trainer for your relationship, Yes,
which I thought was fascinating and so good. But yeah,
I think just therapy and general for me. I think
I've said this before, but to me, it's like there's
some can of worms that don't necessarily need to be opened. However,
(09:07):
if I felt like we were at an impasse and
we could not get past it, I would a thousand
percent go.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Is it possible to a small degree that you don't
want to go to therapy because you're afraid the therapist
will agree with me?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
No, I'm not okay, sorry about that.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
By the way, that almost makes me want to go
to therapy.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Uh, share your secret weapon of your marriage, the one
thing most couples skip that you swear by. It's funny.
Remember when that couple was getting married and then we
went to the wedding just recently, yea, and they were
giving the someone was barking out advice don't go to
sleep mad, remember that one? And I thought you are
so wrong. Don't go to sleep, well, he s was
(09:49):
fight till five am.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Well, you've always said that go to sleep mad you're
and I agree with you, because you know what, in
the morning things look differently.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
That it's the same reason why when you're really mad
about something, you shouldn't send an email or a text,
particularly an email, because you may regret that. Always put
some sleep on these really stressful things.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I think one of our superpowers. I guess if I,
like I had to put a list together, I think
we Yes, we love each other obviously, we are best
friends hopefully and do you ever have that best friend
that you have almost none of the same interests. That's
(10:38):
we don't have any we don't have hobbies together like that.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
But we we love being together.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
We could, like Terry was saying before, like we could
talk for hours.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Yeah, and we could be on a vacation alone for days,
come home and be like where we having dinner.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
We're just we love spending time together. I also think
we very much.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Respect each other. Yeah, we are very supportive of each.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Other, and like I could be so insanely mad at him,
but if something's wrong with him, I'm.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
There because I just well, of course, yes, well, that's
not always, of course, for people.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
But I will say this, I think the thing that
we've done the best over the years, and I think
the reason we've been together so long is because and
this kind of leads to the therapy thing, but I
think we have been able through the difficulties in our lives,
our relationships, things with our kids, all the money, whatever
it was, we have been able to even if we
(11:39):
get to a low point, we've been able to sit down,
hash it out and come out on such a good
side and really hear each other.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
And I think the way we do it.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Now is so like he was saying before, we had
a little tiff yesterday, but it was fine and.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
We got through it very quickly.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I mean, that same argument five years ago could have
gone on for two.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Weeks right right, it would, It would have. But that's
what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
I think as the years go on, we've become we
learn what works, we learn how to listen to the
other one, and how to move forward about it. I
think we've done that well.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Better towards that end. What after a decade, what do
men still get completely wrong about what their wives want
and what and women about their.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Husbands so women want romance.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Well, I think the wives want to be heard. You know,
I think it isn't always necessarily give a solution.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Why don't I say what the wives want and you
say what the guys want?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Oh, okay, tell me because you're just proselytizing.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yes, I was saying, based on my experience with what
I think about you, I'm.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Telling you you want.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
What want is they want to be cherished and treasured
and romanced because that's what goes.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, and guys want to be left alone. I'm kidding. Uh,
guys want to be not bugged. To be honest, it's like,
don't nag, nag, don't nag me, don't overtalk this thing.
Let's if there's an issue, tell me what it is
and don't repeat it five thousand times. I get it,
(13:31):
and I'll try my best, and uh, let's let's move on.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
You know, I think sometimes women nag their husbands because
they want interaction.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Well, you don't need that obviously, Why don't No, no, no,
I'm saying, no, no, you don't nag me.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
No, no, you don't nag me at all. So that's
I think. Okay, And what Yeah, guys want some peace
and quiet and guys want Yeah, make your point and
let's move on. That's a guy thing. That's fair, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Do you have more sex on vacation or at home
on vacation?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Vacation?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Definitely, there's nothing like hotel sex.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, And so that in a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You both have knowledge on plastic surgery, aging, et cetera.
How does that expertise change the way you to experience
attraction and getting older together?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Interesting? Well, you're kind of a dory and gray female
sort of age, so it's not very fair. You're welcome,
I guess I. I I went through a phase when
my necks first started to loosen and I started to
sort of get tired because I'm always, you know, running,
pushing it hard. When I realized, oh my god, I'm
(15:05):
really getting older looking that I thought, and you aren't changing,
and you look so feminine, so perfect all the time,
I thought, you know, I get get to the point
where they think I'm your dad. And I considered the
plastic surgery thing. But plastic surgery, if you're ever considering
plast surgery as a guy, just look at some celebrities.
Guys who've had plastic surgery. You will change it right now.
(15:25):
All my friends, one hundred percent of my male friends,
we go, no way am I having plastic surgery. It
looks weird, and even well executed facelifts on guys my age,
it doesn't. It looks I call it discordant. It's like,
what what you know? What doesn't work here?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
It's not good.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
It's not good. Uh so, No, you.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Saw someone at the airport, not.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Good, man, Some of these feminized looking guys recently not good. Yeah.
And we were in Saint Bart's and this guy came
up to our table and was talking to us, and
I'm looking at him and he's you can tell he's
exactly my age, maybe slightly younger or older and zero
neck laxing. I thought, yeah, dude, that just looks weird.
(16:14):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
I mean, you're too tight.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
You're too tight. And you know, it's funny when you see.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
A guy.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
My age who's really ripped. Even though I immediately think steroids.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
It's not anymore, but it's testosterone.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It's well will that is steroids. Asteroid? They I think, oh, steroids.
It still looks okay, but I think steroids when I
see a guy in my age has no facial laxity,
I think plastic surgery, and it does. It's not okay,
it's just weird.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
But maybe that's because that's what you're you.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Like, Yeah, I guess. I just think maybe I'm still
in the area even though I'm a plastic surgeon, where
a guy having a lot of plastic surgery just sounds wrong, weird.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I think what we keep seeing in the media and
also what we've seen in real life, is that men
are getting such a feminized version of plastic surgery that
it just looks bizarre. Because if you do eyes and
a facelift on a guy, especially a brown.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Lift, it's so weird. It's so weird, it's too feminine.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah. So, but and women having plastic surgery, I mean,
I think women are having very good plastic surgery these days.
And let's be honest, who has more plastic surgery than
real housewives in general? No one, no one. And so
the real housewives, by and large, except for a few
that look like plastic surgery really hit them hard, look great.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Yeah, everyone looks good.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Really really good. Yea yeah, yeah, they just look pretty
and preserved and they don't look altered.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
But I think the question is about us aging, Like
I don't think about you as older. Look at the
way you look, feel nothing than when we met.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Right, Well, in many ways I look better.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, you grew into yourself, like I think your jaw,
your head, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah, and I still have some hair, which is very
good too.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Hair.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I have hair, not tons, but I have hair, so
I'm very happy about that. But yeah, no plasterdal enough
for me. And you know it's funny cut too. I
think there's Terry cut to next season of Real Housewives
Orange County Terry Terry I was done, So yeah, there's that.
(18:44):
But anyway, it's been a wonderful This was about marriage.
I've already forgot. I'm so sleep deprived.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yes, yes, we're celebrating our twenty seven years.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
So it's been a wonderful twenty seven years. So I'm
looking forward to another seven because I'm like, be dead
by that.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
That's terrible. Don't end like that.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
It's sort of like I feel like we're at the
stage where it's not the you know, what do they say,
don't buy any green bananas?
Speaker 1 (19:18):
No green bananas that's what we say. No green bananas,
you can't wait for them to ripen.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, at some point soon, I'm going to adopt an
animal that it's expected to live about as long as
I do.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
And see who makes it. Yeah, it's excellent. I love that.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, that is the time I adopted the animal that
was like fourteen years old. We are just setting yourself
up for heartbreak with that one.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Speaking of weddings, check out my substock.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
I'm going to do a whole thing on weddings. Did
you see what I wrote about last week? It was
kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
No, it was all about the Santrope Saint Bart's slut
sparkle epidemic.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Oh yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
All right, everybody, we'll say thanks for being here with.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Us, and we will see you next time.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Thank
Hi of Heather Dubreu, and I'm doctor Terry debrou And
we're going to keep this between us.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
For about thirty minutes. The will share with you.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
People are always asking about our relationship. We are married
twenty seven years, we decided and in December we will
be together thirty years.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Oh my gosh, it's incredible. You know. What's so good?
Is my favorite thing And every time it happens, I
in my mind, I said, should I say it? Or
is this just like I say it too much? And
we don't say enough. But I look at you and
I go, I can't believe. This is where I want
to be right now, always just to be here talking
(00:42):
to you. Right. Remember we were in Cabo, yeah, and
we were trying to avoid the wedding party, and we
sat down just to have coffee before going to the gym,
and we have It's amazing when you can just sit
down and just yack gack yack yack like two little
(01:03):
sorority girls that have, you know, no concept of time.
You and I can do that every single day. It's
so nice, you know. But it's funny because our marriage
has had its ebbs and flows. Of course, right i'd say,
more flows than ebbs, but a couple of ebbs. Yep.
(01:24):
And although you you lectured me yesterday about a certain
something I did, Yes, And then you went on to
enlarge that conversation to encompass anything I've ever done for
the last thirty years. Oh, yes, you did. I really.
(01:44):
I remember when you ran over my cut that whole thing.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I did not, Yeah, you did, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
But anything. So we have some questions about our marriage
because I think people know a lot about it. But
so one question is what are what are things that
we do in front of each other after a decade
that would have horrified you when we were horrified as
we were dating each other.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I don't think we do anything.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
It's weird. We we don't go to the bathroom in
front of each other. No, I don't pass We don't
pass gas. Although you occasionally sleep, I don't. Just don't
tell you about it. I Oh, I know what I do.
The floss floss.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yes, remember you used to have a FLOSSI problem. You
would floss everywhere, was disgusting.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, I do. I'm starting to floss again, a lot
of it.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I know, you guys.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
One thing I do which grosses you out.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
You blow your nose in a cloth napkin.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yes, it is disgusting.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
At a restaurant full nose blow in a cloth napkin?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yes, disgusting.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Rarely, by the way, not rare. Not okay, what percent
of the meals we go out seven nights a week,
what percent of the meals do I blow the nose
in a cloth napp That is such a lie. My
nose is a night like that?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
No, I don't tell you, no, nine No.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
My mother blows her nose a lot. So you're triggered
about nose blowing.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
But it's also disgusting.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You cannot, I am sure in the etiquette books it
would say to go to the restroom and blow your nose.
And certainly, or if you had to sneeze or something
at the table, you would have a tissue or something
not into your.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Linen napkin that you're using on your life.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
But in general, we sort of treat each other at
least in terms of like disgusting things that human beings
do as if we're still dating, right, like I would not, Well,
there's just I don't have to list them the disgusting
things that humans do, right I would.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Let's not do that.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
No, but I could you imagine do that? Would imagine
pooping in front of me? No?
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I think that's gross.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
But I bet your husbands and wives do that really
poop with the door the bathroom door open. I don't know,
like if you're in the bat well to have separate bathrooms.
But but but this weekend's share a bathroom. We shared
a bathroom in Cabo. We usually get a room with
two I will help, boug. You were usually we always
get rooms with two bathrooms. Yes, and I get the
(04:15):
little guest bathroom with the you know, the nothing in it,
with the bar of soap.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
You get the two the king bathroom, the.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
King with all this stuff. But so we actually I
had to go in there to use the bathroom to
pee when you were in there, and I thought, I
don't want to pee with the door closed. But I
still didn't really want to do That's funny.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So I was looking I saw on Instagram. I saw
this couple and I don't remember what her handle is,
but she was showing she and her husband live in
this very nice house and you know people do the
sleep divorce thing.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yes, this I had not seen before.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
It wasn't just like one sleeps in another Yes, it's
not like one sleeps in in another room. It's like
they have completely separate situations.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Sooms no, No.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
He has a living room area, bedroom, bathroom, sweet closet,
and their roommates right, and she has her whole own that.
I love this.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
I said this to you yesterday. Remember we were talking about.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
You accused me of wanting this.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yesterday you just said you loved it.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
It's a joke.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Well, maybe you do love it.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
That's why I bring it up for conversation. But this
is so I guess there's different stages of this. I
think I understand in my brain. Why you know, listen,
you snore this whatever. People don't want to sleep in
the same bed. They want better rest. I totally get that.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
But to me, as a couple, when you don't.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Interface with each other a lot, meaning you don't cross paths, right,
you don't spend time together.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
That's just the truth.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Except you and I spend But.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
You and I also cross paths.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
We sleep in the same bed even though we have
separate bathrooms. They're near each other, or were we walk
through the same hall.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
We're the perfect couple to do that because we spend
so much time together anyway, wouldn't be nice for you
we had our own sections.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I think it would.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I personally think it would be hurtful to a relationship.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I don't know. We share unfortunately in office right now.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
That's not that doesn't work that I agree with.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I liked having my own office in that old house
that I could go in and like.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
But we're fixing that.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yes, we're going to get you your own office. But
aside from the office, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
What are your occurring arguments you both accepted will never
be resolved. I think, by the way, if you want
to hear us get into an argument, let's answer this question.
Uh yeah, I don't think this. I think we should
pass on this.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But it is important to note that when you get
to an impasse about things, you can't bring it back
up again.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
It's got to go.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Scheduling intimacy. Does it plan It killed the mood. Planning
it killed the mood. To save your marriage, I think
it saves your marriage. Yeah, yeah, Sometimes we will be
so busy and so burnt out that it's a problem,
so we have to plan it.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Also, sometimes it's even simple things like planning ahead. And
this might be Tami and our kids are going to
kill us for saying this. But I mean if we
have an event we have to go to and we
are both looking to have a moment of love and
we're like, oh, tonight whatever. There are times I it
happened recently I texted you and oh, yeah, it's like,
(07:47):
where are you come downstairs? Because I thought, oh, by
the time we get back from this thing, yeah, we're
gonna have liquor on board.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
We're gonna be tired.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Like, yeah, I think it's better to have sex at
these days before we go out. Yeah, therapy, do you
go together? Have you ever gone? We have never gone
to therapy.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
We've talked about it, We've talked about it, but we
never went.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Yeah. And I think one of the reasons we have
not gone to therapies because we're having issues. We tend
to get past them, but you're also afraid it's going
to bring up some terrible things that will that one
or both of us will say something that you won't
be able to get past.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
No, I don't know that. I just think, to me,
I think they're we've I'm not stopping us from going.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Well, I we don't need to go right now, but
there are times when we could have benefited from it.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
I'm sure, and I think also you told me once,
was it Rob Lowe who was saying he and his
wife go it's like having a trainer for your relationship, Yes,
which I thought was fascinating and so good. But yeah,
I think just therapy and general for me. I think
I've said this before, but to me, it's like there's
some can of worms that don't necessarily need to be opened. However,
(09:07):
if I felt like we were at an impasse and
we could not get past it, I would a thousand
percent go.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Is it possible to a small degree that you don't
want to go to therapy because you're afraid the therapist
will agree with me?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
No, I'm not okay, sorry about that.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
By the way, that almost makes me want to go
to therapy.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Uh, share your secret weapon of your marriage, the one
thing most couples skip that you swear by. It's funny.
Remember when that couple was getting married and then we
went to the wedding just recently, yea, and they were
giving the someone was barking out advice don't go to
sleep mad, remember that one? And I thought you are
so wrong. Don't go to sleep, well, he s was
(09:49):
fight till five am.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Well, you've always said that go to sleep mad you're
and I agree with you, because you know what, in
the morning things look differently.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
That it's the same reason why when you're really mad
about something, you shouldn't send an email or a text,
particularly an email, because you may regret that. Always put
some sleep on these really stressful things.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I think one of our superpowers. I guess if I,
like I had to put a list together, I think
we Yes, we love each other obviously, we are best
friends hopefully and do you ever have that best friend
that you have almost none of the same interests. That's
(10:38):
we don't have any we don't have hobbies together like that.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
But we we love being together.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
We could, like Terry was saying before, like we could
talk for hours.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Yeah, and we could be on a vacation alone for days,
come home and be like where we having dinner.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
We're just we love spending time together. I also think
we very much.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Respect each other. Yeah, we are very supportive of each.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Other, and like I could be so insanely mad at him,
but if something's wrong with him, I'm.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
There because I just well, of course, yes, well, that's
not always, of course, for people.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
But I will say this, I think the thing that
we've done the best over the years, and I think
the reason we've been together so long is because and
this kind of leads to the therapy thing, but I
think we have been able through the difficulties in our lives,
our relationships, things with our kids, all the money, whatever
it was, we have been able to even if we
(11:39):
get to a low point, we've been able to sit down,
hash it out and come out on such a good
side and really hear each other.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
And I think the way we do it.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Now is so like he was saying before, we had
a little tiff yesterday, but it was fine and.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
We got through it very quickly.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I mean, that same argument five years ago could have
gone on for two.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Weeks right right, it would, It would have. But that's
what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
I think as the years go on, we've become we
learn what works, we learn how to listen to the
other one, and how to move forward about it. I
think we've done that well.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Better towards that end. What after a decade, what do
men still get completely wrong about what their wives want
and what and women about their.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Husbands so women want romance.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Well, I think the wives want to be heard. You know,
I think it isn't always necessarily give a solution.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Why don't I say what the wives want and you
say what the guys want?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Oh, okay, tell me because you're just proselytizing.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yes, I was saying, based on my experience with what
I think about you, I'm.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Telling you you want.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
What want is they want to be cherished and treasured
and romanced because that's what goes.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, and guys want to be left alone. I'm kidding. Uh,
guys want to be not bugged. To be honest, it's like,
don't nag, nag, don't nag me, don't overtalk this thing.
Let's if there's an issue, tell me what it is
and don't repeat it five thousand times. I get it,
(13:31):
and I'll try my best, and uh, let's let's move on.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
You know, I think sometimes women nag their husbands because
they want interaction.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Well, you don't need that obviously, Why don't No, no, no,
I'm saying, no, no, you don't nag me.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
No, no, you don't nag me at all. So that's
I think. Okay, And what Yeah, guys want some peace
and quiet and guys want Yeah, make your point and
let's move on. That's a guy thing. That's fair, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Do you have more sex on vacation or at home
on vacation?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Vacation?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Definitely, there's nothing like hotel sex.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, And so that in a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You both have knowledge on plastic surgery, aging, et cetera.
How does that expertise change the way you to experience
attraction and getting older together?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Interesting? Well, you're kind of a dory and gray female
sort of age, so it's not very fair. You're welcome,
I guess I. I I went through a phase when
my necks first started to loosen and I started to
sort of get tired because I'm always, you know, running,
pushing it hard. When I realized, oh my god, I'm
(15:05):
really getting older looking that I thought, and you aren't changing,
and you look so feminine, so perfect all the time,
I thought, you know, I get get to the point
where they think I'm your dad. And I considered the
plastic surgery thing. But plastic surgery, if you're ever considering
plast surgery as a guy, just look at some celebrities.
Guys who've had plastic surgery. You will change it right now.
(15:25):
All my friends, one hundred percent of my male friends,
we go, no way am I having plastic surgery. It
looks weird, and even well executed facelifts on guys my age,
it doesn't. It looks I call it discordant. It's like,
what what you know? What doesn't work here?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
It's not good.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
It's not good. Uh so, No, you.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Saw someone at the airport, not.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Good, man, Some of these feminized looking guys recently not good. Yeah.
And we were in Saint Bart's and this guy came
up to our table and was talking to us, and
I'm looking at him and he's you can tell he's
exactly my age, maybe slightly younger or older and zero
neck laxing. I thought, yeah, dude, that just looks weird.
(16:14):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
I mean, you're too tight.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
You're too tight. And you know, it's funny when you see.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
A guy.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
My age who's really ripped. Even though I immediately think steroids.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
It's not anymore, but it's testosterone.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It's well will that is steroids. Asteroid? They I think, oh, steroids.
It still looks okay, but I think steroids when I
see a guy in my age has no facial laxity,
I think plastic surgery, and it does. It's not okay,
it's just weird.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
But maybe that's because that's what you're you.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Like, Yeah, I guess. I just think maybe I'm still
in the area even though I'm a plastic surgeon, where
a guy having a lot of plastic surgery just sounds wrong, weird.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I think what we keep seeing in the media and
also what we've seen in real life, is that men
are getting such a feminized version of plastic surgery that
it just looks bizarre. Because if you do eyes and
a facelift on a guy, especially a brown.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Lift, it's so weird. It's so weird, it's too feminine.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah. So, but and women having plastic surgery, I mean,
I think women are having very good plastic surgery these days.
And let's be honest, who has more plastic surgery than
real housewives in general? No one, no one. And so
the real housewives, by and large, except for a few
that look like plastic surgery really hit them hard, look great.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Yeah, everyone looks good.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Really really good. Yea yeah, yeah, they just look pretty
and preserved and they don't look altered.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
But I think the question is about us aging, Like
I don't think about you as older. Look at the
way you look, feel nothing than when we met.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Right, Well, in many ways I look better.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, you grew into yourself, like I think your jaw,
your head, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah, and I still have some hair, which is very
good too.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Hair.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I have hair, not tons, but I have hair, so
I'm very happy about that. But yeah, no plasterdal enough
for me. And you know it's funny cut too. I
think there's Terry cut to next season of Real Housewives
Orange County Terry Terry I was done, So yeah, there's that.
(18:44):
But anyway, it's been a wonderful This was about marriage.
I've already forgot. I'm so sleep deprived.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yes, yes, we're celebrating our twenty seven years.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
So it's been a wonderful twenty seven years. So I'm
looking forward to another seven because I'm like, be dead
by that.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
That's terrible. Don't end like that.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
It's sort of like I feel like we're at the
stage where it's not the you know, what do they say,
don't buy any green bananas?
Speaker 1 (19:18):
No green bananas that's what we say. No green bananas,
you can't wait for them to ripen.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, at some point soon, I'm going to adopt an
animal that it's expected to live about as long as
I do.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
And see who makes it. Yeah, it's excellent. I love that.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, that is the time I adopted the animal that
was like fourteen years old. We are just setting yourself
up for heartbreak with that one.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Speaking of weddings, check out my substock.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
I'm going to do a whole thing on weddings. Did
you see what I wrote about last week? It was
kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
No, it was all about the Santrope Saint Bart's slut
sparkle epidemic.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Oh yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
All right, everybody, we'll say thanks for being here with.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Us, and we will see you next time.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Thank
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