I Am Not an AMPM Cup (Featuring Nicole Daniels)

This week, we’re joined by the hilarious and brilliant Nicole Daniels! Jon and Joho sit down for a deep (and very funny) chat about how real life inspires Nicole’s unforgettable characters—from the overly earnest craft store lady to the nonprofit boss we all know too well—and what it takes to make comedy look effortless. They dig into the creative process, queerness in comedy, and how Nicole stays grounded while balancing her own identity with the ones she performs. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the BFF Blackfeftfilm Podcasts.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
An iHeart podcast network.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of the award winning
Black Fatfelm podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated.
I'm one of your hosts, John, also known as doctor
John Pond. This message is for the girlies who have
mental health issues just like myself.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Babies.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
I say this with love, beloved, precious, whatever you like
to be called, take your medicine. I just I just
want to say that, really, just with with love. I
want to say, baby, take your medicine if you have
the means to get it. I want to make sure
that I make it very clear that I do recognize
that medicine is expensive. So I don't want to come

(00:46):
off as being like, take your medicine, and then we
get responses from our listeners you.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Don't know last Okay, I get it. I get it.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Struggle is hard and it is real for a lot
of us. A lot of us are struggling with health care. However,
the girlies who can access it, I do, like I said,
I recognize that if.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
You can, please take it.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
I say this because I upped my effectsir about two
weeks ago, and baby, the way I wake up every morning,
I literally I hop out the bed.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
And I turn my swag on.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
I literally hop out the bed and I turned my swag.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
I said, I could do this. Even though this world
is on fire, even though.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Bombs are being thrown left and right, I still feel
like I And again, I'm not saying that I'm for it,
because you know you already know I feel about it.
But I feel like I can do it. And so
I would say, as a purview to you, if you can,
please take your medicine. We're gonna talk more about medicine
and mental health and all of that towards the end
of the show, but I just wanted to make sure

(01:45):
that I start off by saying that it is so
important right now. And I say this both in ingestin
we're gonna get into the comedy of it all on
a second, but I say this in jest, but I
also say this in seriousness. Please take care of yourself
right now, because there is so much happening left and right,
up and down, and it would I would be doing
a disservice to my platform, or to our platform, I

(02:07):
should say, our collective platform. If I didn't say please
take care of yourself in this moment. But anyway, my sister, Joho,
how you doing this?

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Wee girl?

Speaker 3 (02:20):
I know that, I know that I already know what's happening.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
I need so, I need friends, lovers, besties. It's your girl,
Jordan ak jo Ho.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
And I need to reach out to my doctor to
up my lexapro because.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
I think I need it soon. I am this close
and when I say this close, the fingers are closed
actually to a mentv. I'm also worading on fumes. I
have just driven from San Francisco to Burbank today and
literally came right to studio. I'm in studio and so
I am. You know she is uh, she's running, she's

(02:56):
running to where. Who's to say? But she's here. She's queer.

Speaker 4 (03:02):
She needs she needs a mirror because I was like,
I like ran the bathroom, splashed my face with water
trying like I was like, my head is as one
curl with some motion using bathroom motion as well diabolical work.
Blessed about him to have motion using vothuom motion to

(03:22):
do your hair quick is a.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Wildly forever It's a resource.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
Though.

Speaker 4 (03:28):
Listen and if I am one thing it is resourceful
is resourceful.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
So yeah, I am here, and I'm excited to be
with you. I missed you, John.

Speaker 4 (03:37):
It's funny because last week I was telling you how
thankful I am that I get the able to travel
and do this and taking all my stuff with me,
and today I regret saying that. Today redacted, I said,
you're yeah, I would all this ship with me into studio.

(03:59):
I'm like, maybe maybe I don't do I love the privilege. Sure, Yeah, However,
however true literally it's giving James Baldwin right dualityality.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Well, with that being said, the thing that is better
in this life than just the two of us is
having someone in our third seat. So today's guess we're
gonna bring them in. Also, I saw that cat. I know,
don't you been on the interwebs talking about how much
they don't like cats.

Speaker 5 (04:34):
I know, I know that's hard, but I used to
hate cats.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
Okay you were so, I know.

Speaker 6 (04:41):
There's a journey.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
There is a journey. Okay, Okay, it is the journey.

Speaker 5 (04:46):
Yeah, if one wants to take it.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's there.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Well, with that being said, one of the funniest divas
that I have been able to lay my eyes on.
In the scope of social media's they are an actress.
She's a writer, all around funny bunny.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Honey.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
You've seen her on screen impersonating your favorite archetype from
period pieces to craft girlies, come on Michaels to public
radio investigators and more. And we know she is your
faith because the Instagram algorithms tell me every time I'm scrolling,
at least every other video is either you or another

(05:24):
comedian that I absolutely adore that I'll be talking about
a second. Please welcome Nicole Dance. How are you, my love?

Speaker 6 (05:30):
I'm good.

Speaker 5 (05:30):
That was such a very kind and generous introduction. I
appreciate Nicole.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Now, Nicole, are you my cousin?

Speaker 5 (05:37):
Girl?

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Could we have the same lass? You could?

Speaker 6 (05:40):
Because I mean I think I think we are because we.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Look like we could be.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
We look like and knowing what I know about your dad,
Jordan's sometimes said cousin's not not not not related.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Okay, okay, that girl. I'm just saying you you so
was mine, So I'm not trying to come for you.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
I'm just saying somebody somewhere could be related to us
in some capacity because of who we are.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yes, Yes, but.

Speaker 5 (06:09):
I feel like I have learned from my cousin today
of this trick.

Speaker 7 (06:15):
For thee I will never had thought and I have
had times because I've had some issues.

Speaker 5 (06:20):
With front curls recently and they've just not been cooperating.
And I have been in situations where I have not
had any products that I have had.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yes, yes, I'm mixed hair Carobu on one.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
If you have a lotion about your girl, antype friends
and works similar to Joe.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Won't last as long, but it works in the moment.

Speaker 4 (06:44):
Okay, a little wig fix, absolutely, Nicole, You're.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Not gonna have to do a little family tree moment
and geology because I'm sure somewhere some grandparents somebody arrived
you together. But for now, y'all in this caligoray.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
Today we're gonna give our flowers Smith's iconic Testing Campbell
as we do every week, and this week we want
to kick off our show by asking how has comedy
helped you cope with all the around the world in
the world right now, I'll start Nicole Passel to you,
then we'll go to John and for me, like comedy
is my escape, Comedy is like like it's what I like.

(07:21):
I so like, I appreciate comedy even when it's prop
I even appreciate problematic comedy when it's actually funny, when
it actually points to like like an issue in the world, right,
Like I like, I like, I don't mind like people
like when when people when people are like oh likely,
oh generally like you don't like this comedian or like
you know, like like like like you're walk around saying

(07:41):
fundy Chappelle and I'm like, yeah, because it's just not
funny jokes like I love, I love a cross humor,
I love really funny girl, it's not funny, and so
I think, you know, so I appreciate good comedy because
because I feel like it is advising an escape provides
like a like if we exist in this like pressure pot, right,

(08:02):
it's like it's like a little twist of the valve
that makes the steamer lease.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
I appreciate that a lot.

Speaker 4 (08:08):
I also think to be queer and to be black
is to be funny in the world because the whole
world acts funny around you, so you gotta you got
you gotta be funny back in your own ways. And
I feel like that helps me up as well too.
I think I think I think may thing last you
like comedy? Is you know comedy or being or like
have I mean, well the two things. Like it's like
you have you have to enjoy comedy, but you don't

(08:29):
have a good sense of humor like some people's humor
is also not though not everyone, not everyone wants to
or can have that sense of humor. And like I
love stupid ship, I love thoughtful ship, like I don't
have all types of shit. Just don't shit on me,
you know what I'm saying. Like, and so I feel well,
so I feel like not ready for that.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
I really wasn't. I said, wait a minute, now, okay, okay,
all right.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Today in a day.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
But most things I think helps me is it really
helps me also like resent myself by not feeling so
stuck in like in the b S, stuck in what's happening,
and lets me say, like there's something better right now,
this woman that I could really attend to and like
enjoy experience.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
So can I ask a question for both of you,
and specifically for you Nicole, because I would assume you've
probably you're trained in in comedy and all of that, right,
you've probably done.

Speaker 5 (09:26):
I'm not no, no, no, I am.

Speaker 6 (09:28):
Not trained in any kind of comedy.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (09:31):
Okay, well either way, you're I still think you're fantastic.

Speaker 7 (09:34):
I'm training an actor.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
Okay, okay, we'll still so there is there is a training.

Speaker 5 (09:40):
I have not done, like the U C B. The Okay,
sometimes I'm funny. Well you will.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
No, no, no, We're gonna ask because I was.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
I was gonna say.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
My question is is because you said, Jordan that you
have to have a good sense of humor to be
And I'm wondering, do we believe that comedians have to
have a good sense of humor to be a comedian?

Speaker 3 (10:07):
I'm just wondering I do. Okay, yeah, yeah, like.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
They must be.

Speaker 5 (10:13):
I feel like there are people who are comedians and
it's like like, yes, is it about you know, everybody
has taste, and like it's good to have your own
taste and something is going to resonate with everyone. And
I'm always just like supportive.

Speaker 7 (10:29):
You know.

Speaker 5 (10:29):
I'll have friends who are like I want to start
creating X, Y and Z thing online and I will
always say yes, Like I think the Internet is just
endless space and people create and share and whatever.

Speaker 7 (10:41):
Right, but there's a spectrum.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Okay, Well, as to saying I do think.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
I think like comedian like stand up is a bit
more mythological, right, like like like you have you, there's
a structure to what you do, and I think that's
different than like developing your own sense of humor, you know,
like I think like like with like like like when
you trained acting right, like you are trained in having
good community timing. You're trained in like how you might

(11:08):
say something which I think lends itself to being funny,
different way like for myself, like like I always say
I'm situationally funny. I know I have timing, I know
I know how. I know I can emphasize certain words
of the bulls to make it funny. But I know
I could not do stand up because I don't have
I couldn't like build out like a joke in that
way like that that's not how my humor works, and

(11:29):
like and that's that's like not my training. Right you
have you, you do to be trained to like structure
or a joke and write something in that line.

Speaker 7 (11:34):
I feel that same way.

Speaker 5 (11:36):
I don't think I'm as situationally funny, but I do
I that piece of like stand up, It.

Speaker 6 (11:44):
Just that seems so difficult to me, and it is.

Speaker 5 (11:49):
There's like a real art to it and a real
training just what you were saying, because you are creat
writing and creating and having to think about how each
piece lands and yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
Exactly, yeah yeah, So yeah, how is comedy helping you
cup in the world.

Speaker 5 (12:07):
I mean, I love just a little good scroll that
will always make me laugh and shuffle. I think what
I often find funny on the internet is not exactly
this kind of same kind of stuff I put out like,
I like a good little bit, I like just an
unexpected thing. And I do think that piece of like

(12:28):
being black and queer is an inherently kind of funny
or what I often feel like is a bird experience.
So much of what I pull from and so much
of what I actually think my comedy leans towards, is
just absurdity, and especially when like Lisa Beasley who does
corporate Aaron and I like go and do a live

(12:49):
like so much of what we're doing is just absurd,
but it's still making a point, like when we elevate
the rats as like the rats are getting all of
these benefits as workers in the nonprofit that the people
aren't getting. It's but it's also making a point like
I think that I feel like I've been in that

(13:12):
kind of absurd situation left right and center, and so
I think that's like the humor I have the most fun,
both like making and observing, is what like taps into
that absurdity.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah, and that's that was what I was alluding to.
And right before we started recording was you and Corporate
Aaron going back and forth about the rats. That is
funny because like I said, for me, I've been it
wasn't for rats, it was roaches for us. But that's
neither here nor there.

Speaker 6 (13:47):
Maybe it is it is right.

Speaker 7 (13:51):
That might need to be a community that we loop in.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
But I just say all of that to say I
think that you know, again you and a few others
that I follow, I I mean, even I think Francesca Ramsey,
like even thinking about her her lens of comedy and
how she takes the absurdity of you know, white people
jumping in her comments to try to either one man
explain her or two to kind of overtalk her as

(14:16):
a black woman. That is funny the way that she
takes that and she creates content around it. And so yeah,
like I agree, like it is very situational. But I
also believe like there's such a craft, and you know,
I honor and I respect you and so many other people.
And I was gonna say, I think this question is
great because I think so many of us feel like,
because everything that's happening right now around us, we shouldn't

(14:40):
be like there's no fun, you know what I mean, like,
oh there's no fun.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Every the world is terrible.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
Sit down, be quiet, you know, don't talk about the
joy that you have. Don't talk about that new thing
you want to buy, like the world is on fire.
And I think for me, I appreciate that there are
folks like yourself who are putting these things out into
the world because you know, in my notes type Ron,
when I'm laying in bed and I'm having a day

(15:06):
where I'm like, I want to ease into the day
instead of just waking up and start doing a whole
bunch of things, it's always really cool to see you
on my timeline, or to see corporate err on my timeline,
or like I was saying, there's this other gentleman that
I follow. I forget what his name is, but I
think his comedy is so hilarious because and this is
something that I feel like not a lot of comedians
are a lot of people who create content can do

(15:27):
he toes the line of I wouldn't say homophobia, but
because because that's not the right word.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
He right, He tows the line of his jokes.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
And even when he's talking with the crowd, when he's
doing crowd work, you can tell he's very much an
ally and he's having a fun time. Like his content
is never about queer people, it's about queer culture, and
it's so studied and it's so like you can just
tell that he's very tapped in. And that's what I
love following about him. About following him is that I

(16:01):
can tell he takes the time to study and to
recognize and even in moments when you can tell that
he's like, oh, I stepped on the landmine, let me
not go any further, he walks away from it, and
I'm like, I can't respect him for that as a comedian.
But anyway, all that to be said, and I if
I find out what his name is, I'll throw it out.
But I say all that to say, I think one

(16:22):
of the things that is so important right now is
and like I said, I the one thing about me
is I'm gonna laugh no matter what. The most terrible
thing can happen. Like me and my husband will sometimes
just be sitting upstairs and he'll go, you remember that
time when a thing happened, and.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
And we'll literally just sit there and we'll laugh.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
And in the moment me and him were having like
we were falling apart because it was such a terrible
thing that happened to us. But then you know, it's funny.
Like even just recently, I just tweeted, I said, my
best friend ain't got no reason.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
To be dead right now? Like what literally Carla, Like,
why would you? Why would you go and die right now?

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Right And everybody jumped into my comments was laughing, and
I'm going, like, as much as I'm like that was,
that's still a really hard thing for me to know
that my best friend's not here. I know in my
heart of heart that Carla will want me to laugh
in this moment thinking about her and her her legacy.
So I say all of that to say, I just
think laughter makes even the darkest moments.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
It reminds us it's.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Just gonna be all right. And black people have had
to laugh through everything.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
You know.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
I think we've just as a as a culture we
laugh because we say this shit is fucked up, but
we gonna be all right, you.

Speaker 6 (17:27):
Know, and oh sorry, go ahead please No.

Speaker 5 (17:31):
I was just gonna say that the especially with nonprofit boss,
because that's probably the character I get recognized for doing
the most. Just like on the street, the number of
people who come up to me and say, your videos
helped me.

Speaker 7 (17:44):
So much in my job, Like it means so much
me that I can laugh.

Speaker 5 (17:48):
Like I had somebody once come up to me in
the airport and she started crying. She was like, my
work has been so difficult, and like this is the
one piece of part of my day where I like
feel joy and can laugh and also feel like I'm
not just in this bubble that feels so harmful and
all these other things.

Speaker 7 (18:07):
And so I do.

Speaker 5 (18:08):
Think it's that, like we need we need that, and
it's not integrating both parts, Like integrating the pain of
whatever is going on also allows us to bring in
the humor. Like it's not they're not completely divorced from
each other, and that when they come together, we are
able to move through things.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Well, I say some of the funniest people are the
people who've experienced the most trauma.

Speaker 3 (18:32):
And I hate that it's true, but it's real.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
It's like, I mean, think about you know, I think
about the gentleman who played you know, you know, I'm
terrible with names, Jordan, but I think about Missus doubtfire right,
Robin Williams. You know, a lot of people said, you know,
around the time that he passed, that he was a
very troubled individual, and I hate that for him right now.
I hate in the fact that he was a troubled individual,

(18:56):
but I think his comedy led into this idea of
because of all the trouble I've had, and because of
all of the things that I've been through, I can
actually use that as a means for me to get
to that moment that makes you chuckle or giggle or laugh,
you know.

Speaker 4 (19:11):
So you know I was gonna say, I think that's
kind of like part of the reason why I say
you have to figure about how you develop your humor,
because the best human, best comedy is gonna be from
a place of truth, right, But like truth exists both
in the joy and the pain, and so I think
when you're able to optimize them both right, like you
can create something really beautiful. One of my dearest friends

(19:33):
that stand up last year, he like he like he
was and he did it because he was like he
did improv classes instead of classes to help him process a.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Different trauma for him.

Speaker 4 (19:42):
And they did a showcase and he was like, I'm
I was talking about I was like, I'm nervous the
showcase because I'm a dumblat of trauma and I hope
it will be funny, but well it's not.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
And he was like like the best, the best one.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
They're like easy and and I am I telling him
like it was so it was so fucking funny because yeah,
with reaction, but we all have experienced this and so
we all have to have catharsis with it as well too.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
That's when it comes from a true place, an authentic place.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
People connect with that, right and like right like for
like ooh, girl, Like it's still funny because that like
because it's also like saying the things that you might
think but you know you don't say out loud, right
imagine probably like why you get recorded so much for
non proper Boss because it's the thing that like that
we all experience working nonprofit and we all wish we

(20:30):
could like point out what we can't. So we're like, yeah,
it's just like skinless taboo in a really in a
really cathetic way, which is just which is I will
like say, like it is a gift to give Nicoles.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, we hope you like you do.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
Do you acknowledgement see that it is a gift that
you give others by like catharsis.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Now that we've reminded y'all our listeners to laugh to
keep from crying, we like to take a quick breakup.
We'll come back to talk shop with my with my
cousin Nicole.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yeah all right, y'all, and we are Black with the
hilarious Nicole Daniels, and this week we are going to
dive into a conversation about how life inspires the characters

(21:17):
you create and how you make the work look so effortless.
And so I wanted to start off by saying, first
of all, one, when I saw you literally so it's
always one of those things that I always kind of
get shocked when people I love know.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Me and my work.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
I'm like, oh, we want to be on your show,
blown Away, And so I wanted to first just say
that that's my little fangirl moment. But I did want
to ask you thinking about the spectrum of characters that
you have created, Like you said corporate, you have, uh,
not corporate, you have nonprofit boss, you have the lady
who you know likes to go shopping.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
All of those different characters.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
I would love the Earnest craft store lady is actually
the name and the investigator journalist. I want to know,
like what first drew you to character work and what
did you realize that this was something you could really
run with, create like creatively and also build a following around.

Speaker 5 (22:14):
And an early memory that I just recently had is
that when I was in middle school, which was a
tough time for me, a tough time for everyone, I
started to do the morning announcements, which were videos like
or live stream whatever, and I would do them in character,
which is something I hadn't thought about in so long,

(22:36):
like very just like strange characters. And when I started
doing that, it was very healing for me. Like when
I say middle school was bad, it was like bad bad,
and there was this real shift and I started to
really step into myself and feel better about myself, safer
within myself.

Speaker 7 (22:57):
When I started doing that.

Speaker 5 (22:59):
And ffore that like as a kid, I would always
do the characters in my house and like act out
stories and play all the people.

Speaker 7 (23:06):
And I was an only child.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
If that I got to create friends.

Speaker 5 (23:16):
Exactly, and so I would just be like and they
were normally historical things, so I would be like the girl,
and then the sisters.

Speaker 7 (23:22):
Like dying, and then the mom is there.

Speaker 8 (23:24):
And then like I was, I was everybody and days
of lives.

Speaker 7 (23:31):
With a bonnet, days of.

Speaker 5 (23:36):
And But then I spent a lot of time doing
a lot of different day jobs trying to figure out
how I was going to become an actor. Like I
went to acting school, I did all these different traditional things,
but couldn't figure out my point of entry. And those
day jobs were like babysitting nonprofits.

Speaker 7 (23:52):
All of the things I do characters about.

Speaker 6 (23:54):
Now were my day jobs.

Speaker 5 (23:56):
And then at a certain point I was like, I
am struggling and that I'm not being an actor and
I feel like I'm not true to myself. I feel
like I can't call myself an actor because I don't
do that, and it was just really really getting me down.
And at a certain point I said, you know what,
I'm just going to start making videos online and I'm

(24:18):
going to start just doing characters based on these parts
of my life. And that is how it started, and
just building out of these different characters of people i'd
worked with experiences i'd had. But I think I started
with like the babysitting mom and then the babysitting dad,
and then nonprofit boss was pretty early too. But then

(24:39):
as it's expanded, doing all this like public radio stuff,
and I've like wrap public Radio and then bringing craft
Store Lady into the picture, like that's.

Speaker 7 (24:48):
A really new one.

Speaker 5 (24:50):
But I've also done like House Hunters parodies and like
all of my weird stuff with the American girl dolls,
and I think some of that weirder stuff is like
that's kind of my I really like, I mean it's
all yeah, it's all fun and all has a different
place in space for me.

Speaker 7 (25:08):
But that is how it came to be.

Speaker 4 (25:10):
You know, your characters feel like people that we all
have now, right, like just sharing that bit earlier in
our last segment, like we know these people in some ways.
I'm curious, like where do you pull the inspiration from,
Like are the like do you know them?

Speaker 2 (25:25):
The personal experience these folks that like.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
You just met in passing, are there, like you know,
are they like cultural archetypes you like to twist around.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
I'm so curious about what that process is.

Speaker 5 (25:34):
Like, I mean, nonprofit boss is very specifically one person
in terms of the physical life, and yeah, like the
like overarching way she kind of presents one person, but
many of the things she said are from lots of different.

Speaker 7 (25:54):
Nonprofit bosses that I had over the years.

Speaker 5 (25:58):
And then like experiences like people from former jobs will
still share with me and whatever.

Speaker 7 (26:04):
So it's it's that character came about that way. Craft
store lady my mom.

Speaker 6 (26:10):
As a kid.

Speaker 7 (26:10):
She would always take me to these like.

Speaker 5 (26:13):
Very small local art craft stores and they needed it
because everything was so slow and like how they would
wrap it was so slow, and so that was very
much a childhood experience it was at And then a
certain point I was like just puttsing around my house
and started to kind of do it, and I was like, oh,
is this a character?

Speaker 6 (26:34):
So I think they.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
Come about in different ways, where like I started listening
to a ton of like public radio investigative podcasts, and
I was like, there is such a thing to this,
and my brain is already doing it.

Speaker 8 (26:46):
In my head, maybe I should make a video.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
That Yeah, I love I love the craft Store. My
partner shared shared a meme with me recently and it
was this one and we all know the archetype of
the person who who goes shopping at the craft store.
She had like the boho pants on and the big
beads and the bag smells like Petruli oil. And ultimately

(27:14):
my partner was like, I could really use a hug
from her right now, And I'm like, that's literally, like.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
We all know that lady who.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
Is in Joanne's trying to take up all of the
glittery fabrics. So I store that so so so much.
You know, a lot of creatives talk about the line
between who they are as an artist and who they
are as a person, and I wanted to know, like,
for you, especially now, like you said, you're out and
about and people recognize you from different things that you

(27:43):
do online or even in television shows, how do you
maintain your own sense of identity outside of the characters
you play or the online persona people might associate you with.

Speaker 5 (27:55):
I think it's always a tough one for me. I
am a cancer moon and cancer rising. I'm very sensitive
and I like a lot of these people will be like,
oh my god, all I see is you as a
nonprofit boss.

Speaker 7 (28:14):
I hate you.

Speaker 5 (28:17):
I get that it's coming from like, haha, funny place.
I have a hard time that, like some of the
characters I play are so hated, and I think crafture.

Speaker 7 (28:28):
Lady is felt very liberating because I know some people.

Speaker 5 (28:31):
Are like, oh my god, hurry up, she's so annoying whatever,
But overall there's a lot more love towards her, which
is nice. I do think because I'm so known as
some of these like bigger characters that I don't personally
connect with as much, that is sometimes weird for me,
or like I haven't worked in a nonprofit in six

(28:53):
years and so.

Speaker 7 (28:54):
I'm pretty removed from that world. And so when people
are like oh, X, Y and Z experience at my
nonprofit and sometimes.

Speaker 5 (29:03):
Like oh my god, I don't even know. Yeah, start
a union, organize work with like that's like my best.

Speaker 7 (29:10):
Advice because those are the things I did.

Speaker 6 (29:14):
And but yeah, it is.

Speaker 7 (29:16):
I think it's I think it's tough.

Speaker 5 (29:17):
I try to like do photo dumps every couple of posts.

Speaker 6 (29:23):
I think, just be like I am a whole person. Yeah, yeah,
and it's.

Speaker 7 (29:29):
A pain because I'm always like, oh, I don't have
any photos, I don't know what to do, and like
then it's.

Speaker 5 (29:34):
A whole own spiral. But I think that's kind of
my way of trying to be like there there are
lots of parts of me and like, you know, I'll
post a video that is not crafts door lated or
nonprofit boss, and I'll get comments that are like when
is there more craft store lady? And I know that
that comes out of like love, but it is just

(29:55):
like it can be overwhelming of like, listen, I'm a
whole person, I'm a whole artist.

Speaker 6 (30:00):
I don't I want.

Speaker 5 (30:02):
To create content that people who followed me and supported
me for so long care about. But I also want
to say true to myself and get to like explore
and play and do different things that just resonate with
me in all the different, like weird parts of me.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
Yeah, so we definitely want to say shout out to
the cancers that listen to the show. I guess our
editor is also a cancer. Did not know that, but
yes we have a But yeah, all that to be said,
I was I was going to say, to your point,
I think the other thing it's kind of like when
you know, we sometimes me and Joho will like we're
not able to record, and so sometimes we'll get text

(30:40):
from people they'll like where's the new show, and it's
like yo, like hold on, I got a life too,
like stuff came back. We can't record the way we
want to record. So yeah, So I literally understand that
sometimes people see you as a commodity over you know,
seeing you as you know, an actual human who has
a human who's having a human experience, so.

Speaker 5 (31:00):
Right, And I know it comes from like a place
of love and like m they're respecting the work, they
like the work, but it.

Speaker 6 (31:07):
Is, yeah, I'm like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (31:09):
You know, I will say I don't. I I don't know.

Speaker 4 (31:15):
I don't always know from a place of love, like
I I don't always know that, Like I sometimes wonder
is it from a place of like just a place
of demand to a place like like like because if
and this is me being super about it, but like
if they loved you, they would understand that, like you know,
you aren't always those characters or like you just want
to be a full person. And so I think, like

(31:36):
like I think, I think I think there's a level
which it's fun and funny to like bitch like like
where's the new character, where's the new episode, and an
other times where I'm like we're like like we're not parasocial.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Maybe we're not even social, like like.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
I don't know you girl, I don't know who you are.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
It's actually parasitic, like it really is not it's not
it's not really good and so I know. So I
mean like like I I think there I do a
whole place time right there is love on it and
sometimes who it's from, it's like it's like like I like,
I actually am not here for your consumption. Like I
know that it makes stuff for you to consume and
that's and that and like that's my agency, but like

(32:14):
I'm not here for your consumption.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
So I a m p M cup. Yeah, like I
am a m p M cup.

Speaker 4 (32:21):
So I I think I do hope that people like
like like see see you as such.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
If not, then may all the cansrians you and Joey
and Chris, like, may may you all unite and make
make a new world for us. That like that that
is that is that that we we we are in
better in service to.

Speaker 4 (32:37):
You, your comedy feels very intentionally queer in the best
way as well to it plays with identity and absurdity,
which I think is like that sometimes like like the
definition of queer right, like absurdity or obscene in the
really fun way, and it feels deeply human. And so

(32:58):
I would love to ask, how did your career some
form or shape your communic point of view?

Speaker 5 (33:04):
I mean, I'm obsessed with being gay.

Speaker 7 (33:09):
What's a favorite?

Speaker 5 (33:11):
I'm like, is the best thing.

Speaker 7 (33:13):
About me that I'm a lesbian?

Speaker 6 (33:14):
Maybe?

Speaker 2 (33:15):
Yes? Yes, God.

Speaker 5 (33:21):
I also did just after thirteen years of driving a
very old car, just got a super ru and so
I'm like, and.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Now leveled up, level up, Yes.

Speaker 7 (33:34):
I'm a real lesbian.

Speaker 2 (33:35):
Now you got to turn on what's her name?

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Melissa Ethridge? Did you play Melissa Ethridge when you got
in the car?

Speaker 7 (33:46):
I did not. I did not, but it's all part
of it. So yeah, I love eating very explicitly queer.

Speaker 5 (33:56):
Content like That's another one of my favorites, are doing
like lesbian period pieces, just like all the lesbian tropes
in movies.

Speaker 7 (34:06):
And I think there's also something inherently queer about like
me playing all the characters who are men, women and
everything like that.

Speaker 5 (34:16):
That is a really fun way to play with gender
for myself and I even I often think about because
like as a kid, I was so obsessed with like
doing all this like historical stuff and I would like
love to be in dresses. But to me, like as
I especially as I look back, like it was so
about like playing this role of like wearing the dress.

Speaker 7 (34:40):
I was like, Oh, that's kind of like being a character.

Speaker 5 (34:42):
Because then like as my life evolved, was like, oh,
I never want to wear a dress. It feels very
funny to me to like have to be at a
dress or whatever, and that like changes for me in day, week, month, whatever.
But I do think that there was always something about
getting to play and explore with like gender through performance,
and whether that was like in my house playing all

(35:04):
of the characters or on the morning news thing, or
is I do all of my characters and play all
of the parts on TikTok. That's just like very it's
very fun. It's very fun to inhabit all those different
spaces and people, and yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
Love it, I really do.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
I think it is one of, uh, I think one
of the greatest things about watching your content, the content
that people are putting out there. I know how much
work it takes to not only just edit it, but
I think there's so much work that goes into you
thinking about what other characters you're gonna have in your skits,

(35:43):
and so it's just the end for me. I always say,
I think there's just so much like I really wish
people respected like that's and that's the thing I'll never knock.
I'll never knock the creatives and the folks who are
out there putting this content out because I know how
much thought has to go into even something that's a
two minute, three minute clip can take you weeks to do.

(36:06):
And so it's just it's something I've always respected and
I've always honored, you know. I know, as we're starting
to wrap up this this in particular segment, I think
the one thing that you've talked about in you know,
earlier in the conversation, and I think as we're getting
to now, you've talked about the overlap between Nicole the
person and then Nicole the performer, and I wanted to

(36:27):
ask you, how do you check in, you know, for
those who are listening that are having a very hard time.
And we've talked about this in other episodes how hard
it can be to separate your work from you, if
that makes sense, Like some people become the work. How
do you check in with yourself to make sure you're
still grounded, amiss? You know all of the things that

(36:48):
you have to do with being a creative, like the
stuff you have to put out.

Speaker 5 (36:54):
I think a big piece is having good friends, good community,
and that doesn't have to be a lot of people,
but it's about having really solid people close in. Like
I'll send sometimes I'll send a dump to like a
draft to my best friend who's really my sister, and

(37:15):
she will read it like, oh my, I'm like, you
have hurt my feelings at this point, She's like, I
think you're just too self conscious, Like don't think about it,
like just go back to like people who really ground me.
That is huge, And I think also just being super
intentional with my time and my time on the phone.

Speaker 7 (37:35):
That has been a big line of.

Speaker 5 (37:37):
Just really working to get my screen time down. I
have like a thousand different like apps that block it.
I have the brick that blocks it. I have a
box that I can put it in that locks it up.

Speaker 7 (37:49):
I have to really work.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
But when I can really get that screen time down
under four hours a day that.

Speaker 7 (38:00):
I find I am just much.

Speaker 5 (38:01):
More present with Like oh right, like that stuff online
is just a part of me, and that's just a
part of what I do, is my job, and like
I have all of these other parts of me that
are seen maybe not.

Speaker 7 (38:14):
By everyone, but by some people. And that's sacred too,
and it's good to have that privacy.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
And yeah, I was just gonna say you may. I
literally just checked my screen time and I was like, oh,
I don't love the number. However, however it is down today,
so that makes me progress.

Speaker 4 (38:37):
Progress is iterative and yet you know slow, the arc
of progress is, but changes the course of your life.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
So we love to see it. Holding the account O.

Speaker 5 (38:47):
Mine has been very high these past two weeks, so
I've had to do some self reflection about.

Speaker 6 (38:52):
What is going on.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
Yeah, I'm very high as all too. My how do
I get off? How I balance this more?

Speaker 4 (39:02):
The last question I have for you, Nicole, is we're
seeing such a vibrant rise in queer to making voices
across social media in Hollywood right now, Like I'm thinking
of Dwayne Perkins, I'm thinking of Sam Jay, I'm thinking
of Jukie young White, and so I'm curious to ask, like,
how do you see yourself carving space for yourself with

(39:22):
the momentum you have?

Speaker 5 (39:24):
HM, I feel like, well, I guess for me, and
I think probably for many people on the internet in
like comedy and acting spaces.

Speaker 6 (39:35):
For me, the goal is to move away.

Speaker 8 (39:37):
From the Internet, and I think I would love the
day where I don't have to post videos and can
be working as an actor or writing in a writer's room.

Speaker 7 (39:50):
And really collaborating with people.

Speaker 5 (39:53):
And I think in terms of like carving space, I've
been really interesting collab operating recently with people who are
like minded, creating videos together. I find that really helps
me in terms of momentum, because it can just feel
so like blinders on what's going on. I'm in my
own bubble, and I think that, Yeah, I'm excited for being.

Speaker 7 (40:19):
Able to move into other spaces.

Speaker 5 (40:22):
That are not online, with like many other people who
are like me who want that. And I'm hoping that
the industry and the various industries continue to kind of
recognize people coming from this like non traditional space more.

Speaker 6 (40:38):
I don't know if that answered.

Speaker 3 (40:41):
No question.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
It did, no, it did.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
I think you're What I heard you say was me
and my student affairs back. What I heard you saying
was but no, I really heard you saying you've got
to do what you got to do your way. And
I think that's the most important thing I think anyone
can take from this conversation is you've found your joy
and you found your voice through the characters that you're creating.

(41:07):
And I think that, for me is what I think
is so important. I mean, I'll just say this, like,
you know, I even think about this show baby put
it out like there's something special about what we all
bring to whatever we bring to this right and it
may not always be the best thing, but what what
we're all doing is is we're bringing our creativity and

(41:28):
I think in this world, more than anything, we all
need to be bringing that to the surface.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
So, yeah, you know, people need to.

Speaker 7 (41:35):
Be like less.

Speaker 5 (41:37):
I know the internet can be so not friendly, but
I just and like, we just need more voices. I
know some people would not agree with me, but I
just think like overall, if everyone starts creating more the
voices that need to be heard and that are really
important vehicles for change, like those voices will rise and

(41:58):
that's important.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
I agree, yeah, absolutely, Well, all right, now that the
nonprofit boss has tried to sell us some tote bags
for a good cause, we are going to take a
quick commercial break and come back with more shows.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
Stay tuned. Bam, we are back, and we are by black.
Even the Black Housa is over.

Speaker 4 (42:21):
We are about three sixty five, and this week for
What's Popping section, we're diving into a quick combo about stand.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Culture and asking when is too much too much?

Speaker 4 (42:31):
If you did do not watch the NAACP Award last week,
you commedian.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
Is in AACP. Now they're telling us we can't say
double ACP anymore.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Sell it out. It's in AACP.

Speaker 3 (42:46):
That's what they're telling people.

Speaker 4 (42:48):
If you did not did not watch the NAACP Awards
last week, you know that. Comedian Deon Cole shared graphic
dms this past weekend from Barbes after his nick of
knowledge joke.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
The NAACP image.

Speaker 4 (43:03):
Now I have questions now now it is feeding a
bigger conversation around parasocial fandoms, new war and when rter
or dies, sand culture becomes targeting harassment.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
So I wanted to ask, first, fans, are y'all good
are y'all okay, Well, it's.

Speaker 4 (43:20):
Just really about and why and why are some fans
like this, Like I'm curious of what I'm curious of
what y'all think.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
First, No, co, did you want to go first before
I jump in?

Speaker 5 (43:30):
I mean, I like, I feel like we've kind of
been talking about the parasocial of it all feels very
relevant of just projecting an idea on a person who
you do not know, and of the day this is
just this is a stranger, and.

Speaker 7 (43:50):
I we are forgetting that these people are strangers.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, yeah, I think, yes, I want to. I would.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
I'm going to check that and say I'm going to
add a check next to it.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
I think.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
So what I love about our What's Popping section is
because that's the thing a lot of I get most
feedback from what people. I love when you dive into
pop culture and you all give you our nuanced and
your interesting take. I think the thing about pop culture
that has always been so interesting to me is how
familiar it can make you feel with someone who isn't

(44:26):
who's creating, right, So you know, this person creates this song,
or this person creates the show, this person creates.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
This movie, and you go oh, I feel seen.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
I feel like this person or even just in passing, right,
you see this person on social media and their social
media is hilarious, and you think this is my friend
in my head, right, like as Wendy William would't say,
this is you know, my sister or my friend, my
cousin in my head. But I also hate that. I
feel like social media has made people too familiar. And
that's the thing I struggle with when like you run

(44:58):
up somewhere, are your walking somewhere and someone stops you
or grabs you and you're like, oh my god, are
you and it's like yo, like, yes, I am the
person you think I am, but also please don't grab me.
Like I just feel like social media has made people
too comfortable. And so that's what I was thinking about
when I when I got into this conversation. And again
I don't know if you deal with this or if

(45:19):
you but I know you said you could speak to
it to a degree.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
I think some people just take it too far.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
And I think it's it's it's to a point now
where it's like okay, Like now fans of or stands
of stand cultures are saying, okay, this is a lot
like this is y'all are doing way too much. And
I even think about myself like I am a huge
Beyonce fan, huge, But what I will say is I
ain't nobody's nutty enough to talk about and I know

(45:50):
people are not nutty to talk about Beyonce outside of
their mouth. But what I don't, like, I still recognize
is she's an artist. Like I don't that lady doesn't
know me, and I don't know her. She know of me,
and it would be nice to.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
Know that she knows us.

Speaker 3 (46:03):
But these niggas don't know you.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
They are not your friends, they are not your family.
They're not gonna bail you out of jail. And so
that's the thing. I'm like, I'm looking at this, Dion
colea it on. I'm going, you do know that this
is stuff that he can take to court, Like, this
is stuff that he can press charges on you for
in relation to online harassment. I think, I mean, and

(46:25):
I think people think, oh, well, it's online. I can't
be held accountable for this, you know, I just I
just put that online and it's like, no, girl, like
I'm gonna say it, Tasha kay, And that whole story
I don't know if you've been following the Tasha key
of it all right, but Tasha Kay said something out
of pocket about Cardi B, and Cardi B sued her
and won, Oh yes, yes, they are holding her up

(46:47):
for three million dollars that is fifty two million.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Nine hundred and seventy three eight hundred pay sos.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
That is two hundred and seventy six million, fifty one
hundred and fifty whoopies.

Speaker 3 (47:09):
Some ship that she said online.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
It's not worth it. It's not worth it. What I'm like,
I'm like, like all the currencies to like yeahs like
the math was the math? Who you know?

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (47:28):
But I'm like, girl, you're you literally don't have it.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Who has three million dollars just to hand over to
somebody because of some stupid ship that they typed online?
Who has it?

Speaker 2 (47:39):
Maybe? Maybe? Who?

Speaker 7 (47:42):
It's just they've made it too easy to post to respond.
Really needs to be like something that like flies up
on the screen like are you sure.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Like this is girl?

Speaker 1 (47:54):
You know?

Speaker 4 (47:55):
They like, yeah, like we're selling you some needs to
make that app and give us wrotes When they're like
like like like DM threat Alert and it's like, girl,
do you wantus on this, you may.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Get a recipe exactly, you know you want to jail.
Like it's like like I I think, on one hand,
I love attention. So someone's like, hey, girl, aren't you
the podcast. I'm like, y, yes, I yes, yes, I
do love that, you know, like like like I do

(48:26):
get noticed often in my community because of my community work.
But I think like but like there's a level like
I want to me to be clear, like don't.

Speaker 4 (48:35):
Mistake seeing me as like a faux sense of security
or like safety in who we are as people like
like I like, I think like one of my biggest
uh concerns is someone thinking because they they hear the
way I speak on my show right right on our

(48:56):
show or on my Instagram or you know, at an event,
like they're like like like I guess I want them
to feel seen by me, but I don't want them
to think like that, like like I want them to
think that like like that like yeah, you know, like
like it's one it's I think one thing is like
it's one thing to say I feel seen by your

(49:18):
work and I feel seen by what you put out,
Like that's one thing to me. But like but that's
because that's my work and what I out like don't
like don't then say like you changed my life. I'm like,
I did change your life, girl, you change your life,
And I'm thankful and grateful that like what I work
help right helps you do that. But like but but
like you're you're giving me too much credit and giving

(49:38):
me too much power in that moment, right, It's like,
I have no concern, I have no interest in putting
all that faith into a person one because it's a
high citation to put on them, not just because like
it's like like I'm not giving them credit for how
I changed my life with that, right, like like right,
like like I like like I like I would say, hey,
john You're like your book changed me?

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Is that helped me think about things to change my life? Right?
And I think that that is a great honor to say.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
But it would be different and it would be different
if I was like, Johnny change my life without you,
I would be now right, like it just it makes
it and it changes, it changes the dynamic between people,
and I think like and really I do think it
is a faux sense of security that you have with
the people have with like with like in this and
I think parasocialism, fake sense of security, like you feel

(50:27):
emboldened and empowered to say like, oh, like we're besties,
and like there are times where I'm like, yes, I
think this person because I do these persons and I
would would will be best is.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
If I meet them, I'm gonna be like, hey, I think,
like I think be besties. Like you don't know you
actually don't know that one two my besties, my best
is will not accept you. The best will accept you
in the circle girl, Like you can't say we're best
is my besties are. But I have besties and they'd
be like, bitch, what are you doing here? Let's go
now then you know. But like so it's like it's
like I I I think like with and especially with this.

Speaker 4 (50:58):
Right like fan when you have people like Beyonce, Nikki Rihanna,
right like like those fantoms are really heavy fantoms. And
I'm like, I'm like, respectfully, if if Nickna want to
says something about it, she has the.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Ages to say something about it. To Dion, she does
does not does not need the barbs to pop up.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
That's the thing they don't need.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
You does not need that. If she calls on you
all again, like like, girl, you have power and privilege
in this world. Do not do not make others bigger
minions for it? Right when when like like Beyonce often
is like please do not when beyond things right beyond
it's like, please do not like act up like for
this thing. Right she got she got the legal team.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
Like she That's the thing I wish I understood, Like
you don't have a legal team, you know how you.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
Know you don't Like I don't have the wealth, I
don't have the legal team. I don't have the advisors
around me, like I'm not I don't have a team
for this right.

Speaker 4 (51:59):
Like like like I'm not equipped. I'm not equipped for
this type for this like level of engagement with with
a person. And so I think, you know, and I
think with with Dion, I think a great point of
Dean creepers charges, right, I think it comes down to
what you feel about the legal system in criminal justice system,
and like what how do you navigate that?

Speaker 2 (52:16):
And I don't know if that would be like me
but like but but but but I think like it's
a really good point to point. But to say, like
hey girl, before you like this DM, you may want
to understand this, because this is if this is not
gonna be right or or like or when people dogs
you like it's.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
Just like I think it's a wild place. It's a
real way it.

Speaker 4 (52:37):
Is that it's a wild place, like and and you
and and like obviously we want people, we want people
to feel empowered in the best way, so we don't
we don't want them to like overstep right because then
it becomes like you're overserving your power and trying to
usurp my own power for myself and that like that
like that is not good. You're trying to sap my
agency or like or like who I am this moment,

(52:58):
Like I want to be my full self. If I
share myself with you, then yay. And when you show
each other. But like, but don't expect me.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
They don't expect me to be this person do this
thing right, like lett let people be like be there,
be their full selves, like if I want to be
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (53:18):
I love this conversation. But also like I'm always bothered
by the folks who really commit to like I'm gonna
say or overdoing it because I'm not trying to pass
the value judgment. But like the but like I before
to invest in is that what you're trying to I
have a conservative who are to invest it in other lives?

Speaker 2 (53:37):
It just is like invest in your own.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Maybe you're like, invest in you that is more important
and necessary than anything in the world. I think that's yeah,
that's what it is like, like you're investing more than
oil on yourself.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
And that is not a tv h They're they're rich.
They don't care about you, and I that's the thing.
I think that's your reality. Most most actress, most actresses, singers,
most comedians, they are rich. They get into their black
cars and they drive away. And I'll say this, I
cannot wait. As much as we throw shade around here

(54:10):
about rich people, the dream of mine is to be
able to get into a black car and have somebody
drive me away. So I could be like, it's my
car here. The day I get to ask that question
to somebody, it's one of my assistants.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
Is my car here?

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Multiple multiple actresses with three So you know that you
said a lot of a lot of celebrity like celebrity,
and I'll say this is a very general statement. Celebrity
doesn't care about you. And I think for you to
put your life on the line for a person or
an artist or whoever that may never send you any

(54:55):
money for your bail.

Speaker 3 (54:57):
I just it's a lot for me.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
It's a lot.

Speaker 1 (54:59):
So be careful out there, y'all. Y'all got to be
careful with your dms. That's just that's okay.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
To the point.

Speaker 4 (55:06):
Now, let me remind y'all that you cannot to not
write DM as your ass and your mouth or your
fingers can hand write a check for.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
We all take one more break and when we come back,
it'll be your segment. You spend no man PAMs or
you're born a moment, all right, y'all.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
So we are back with y'all's favorite segment, Our Yes
ma'am and our no man pam. And this is when
we give flowers to the things that we absolutely adore
or we slap the ship out of somebody with them.
And so this week I wanted to kind of kind
of we we don't have like a black business moment
here on this show, not going to act like we're

(55:48):
just something that we're gonna add. I what what I
do want to do with this segment this week is
I do want to pick up a black business that
came across my timeline, and I immediately jumped into this
this tizzy of trying to figure out what my schedule
is going to be like for the next couple of months.
So I'm like, I need to find time to be
in this space. So we were talking a little bit
earlier at the top of the show. We were talking

(56:10):
about wellness, our mental health. We were talking about things
that we can do to keep laughing and to be
helpful and peaceful and all that, and so I wanted
to shout out a place that I think is really
important right now, specifically for black people to find. There's
been a lot I've also been seeing a lot of
this on social media, people talking about like there's no
real safe place for black people because the way the
world is built.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
And so seeing this.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
Made me say, oh, I have to say something about
it with my platform because I think this could truly
be a place for black people to feel safe. So
the Genesis House, if you search it, it's with a J,
it's not with a G's a black woman owned wellness
estate and retreat space. It's a Dona Arizona. It is
designed as luxury, small capacity sanctuary for rest nervous system,

(56:53):
reset now, Come on Now, and intentional healing experiences. It's
set on several acres with red rock and view that
access oak creeks. This features about ten private suites inspired
by Japanese and Scandinavian design, pools, hot tubs, outdoor yoga decks,
greenhouse style bath houses, herbal soaps, tea house, and space

(57:15):
that is known as Intuition Treehouse. So I say all
of that to say, there's so much more. They have
a Himalayan salt room watercolor there. It is a true
place for deep relaxation. I think as black people, I've
been super intentional about where I once spend my money
these last couple of months lash years, but also thinking

(57:36):
about this idea of like where can I truly go
and reset where I'm not necessarily gonna have to be
on guard because often, and again, I don't know if
this is y'all's experience, but I know this is being
my experience. When I go into these quote unquote high
falutin you know, rest spaces, the first thing you start
to get a bonus of is how did you get here?

(57:57):
How do you have money to be here? You know
you're taking up space all of that, and so I
personally am in a place of now like I need
to book me a flight because I need to get
to this place so that way I can actually relax
the way I want to relax. So if you have
the means, I just wanted to throw that out there now,
kind of in the same vein, but also kind of

(58:18):
shifting a little bit and again touching on what I
said at the top of the show My nomn Pam
this week, I was gonna say something about everything that's
happening around the Tasha Ky and the Dominique Morgan and
the ts Madison of it all, but I'm gonna save
that because I'm gonna say. You know, I'm a true

(58:38):
believer in and I said this on TikTok yesterday, the
reason why I sleep so well at night is not
because I make quote unquote a lot of money, because
I don't. It's not because I eat well because these days,
you all know, my food intake is limited. I can
only so much. What I will say is is because
I leave people the fuck alone. I sleep well because
I don't bother nobody go online. I don't, I don't.

(59:01):
I don't go into people's comments I don't. That is
not who I am. I don't bother anybody. So I
said of that to say leave people the fuck alone.
But when I also say this in tandem to what
I'm about to say, my other no man Pam or
my no Manpam. That's connected to this leave people alone
is when a person decides to use social media to

(59:21):
talk about their lived experience.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
Please don't go into.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
Their comments and be like, that's not true, that's not real,
that's that didn't happen, that's not that's not the case.
And I say that because I think about the viral
librarian and future reading. I think is a future reading
rainbow or did he already get it?

Speaker 6 (59:40):
Yes, yes, he's already doing it, Michael Michael.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
I don't know if you all have been following his
story or what's been going on around him, but a
couple of weeks ago, he was very open online about
living with anxiety depression in his suicidal ideation, and was
framing libraries as a place for him and for people
to like him, for them to feel like they belong
and to feel seen, and so a whole bunch of
people jumped into his comments basically said that he was

(01:00:07):
weird that he was giving off dark energy, basically saying
that he was doing this as a way for him
to build notoriety. And what I will tell you, as
a person who lives with suicidal ideation, nine times out
of ten, when we tell you that something is going
on with us, we're telling you as a warning because
we're thinking we want someone we know, or we love,

(01:00:27):
or that we appreciate to check in on us, right like,
We're not doing it for like, I'm gonna be honest,
rarely are we ever doing it for attention. We're usually
doing it to kind of like hold ourselves accountable so
that way we don't do something that we may end
up regretting or that we would harm a whole bunch
of people. But that's a whole conversation for a different day.
I'll say all of that to say again, no one

(01:00:49):
is faking their experiences. No one needs to dramatize their struggles.
If you feel like it is this not real or
that someone is doing this for attention, scroll on. You
don't have the respond, you don't have to address it,
you don't have to engage with it, just leave people
like I guess that's my point like, it's really frustrating
to me that people won't leave him alone. And I'm

(01:01:11):
also in this place of like the world would be
just so much better, even beyond Michael. Come down to
queer people, trans people, fat people, black people.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
You know, what is it?

Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
The people who like to wear tails, Leave them the
fuck alone.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
Just leave people people who like to dress up as
you knows, as animals and they like to do things
in the animal suits, leave them alone too, Like, just
leave people.

Speaker 4 (01:01:36):
Alone, y'all be too comfortable behind the Screen'll.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Be too comfortable behind the screen. My point earlier y'all
to go to behind the screen, like.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
Too comfortable. I'm not looking to get me started.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
I said to my face and get knocked out trying
like I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
That lady who will drive three hours. You remember that
lady couple of months ago who drove three hours to
consult that man, to confront that man who.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
Called her online. Oh yeah, do it right, because it's
off in games when someone has time.

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
And someone has time. I love that, Yeah, I love it.
What about you, Nicole?

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
What are you?

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
Yes? And your no manpams for this week?

Speaker 5 (01:02:27):
I mean there are a lot of no man PAMs
that I could probably use like what a moment, but
I think I'm going to do one that's kind of
light but not, which is I am sick of medical
office doctor's offices sending test results with no context because

(01:02:49):
they upload them into the portal they do before they
talk to you, which like, yes, I want to have
the ability to access but every single time, which is
a thing that's like I'll like google it and it's
like you might die next week, and.

Speaker 7 (01:03:10):
Then I'm like, what are they going to tell me?

Speaker 5 (01:03:12):
And then it's every time touch was like the doctors like,
by the way, this isn't a concerning thing. This is
like very common in your age or whatever, and I'm like,
stop sending them to us, like, don't let us access
them because we can access them and then we can
access Google and maybe this is just a new problem.

(01:03:33):
But like when I see that, they're like this level
was slightly up. Does that mean yeah, so no more
sending medical test results with no context?

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Agreed, That's a that's a great one. That's a great one.

Speaker 5 (01:03:49):
That is just something I would like to have some
freedom from. And then I think kind of what popped
to mind is we were talking about Genesis and the
retreat House is one of my favorite things, which is
one of.

Speaker 7 (01:04:05):
My favorite apps.

Speaker 6 (01:04:06):
This is not an ad.

Speaker 5 (01:04:08):
Is the Tapping Solution because I love EFT tapping Emotional
Freedom Technique tapping, and it's a way to integrate whatever
negative belief anxiety you might be experiencing and then move
through it. And so you start by tapping on the
side of the hand saying the anxiety or saying the fears,

(01:04:30):
and then you move through these other points with like
reframes and positive.

Speaker 6 (01:04:38):
Affirmations and that kind of thing.

Speaker 5 (01:04:40):
Anyway, I use this app Tapping Solution, and they have
a tapping for everything.

Speaker 6 (01:04:46):
You're nervous about flying a plane.

Speaker 7 (01:04:48):
You had a bad dream and you're scared to go
back to sleep, but you want to like have a
healing night sleep.

Speaker 6 (01:04:54):
You're working.

Speaker 5 (01:04:54):
They have like a whole trauma series. You're working through
a specific trauma, You're healing your gut, you're having me
paint like everything. And sometimes I have friends. I had
a friend come over a while back and she was
just like, I'm just in like such a funk.

Speaker 6 (01:05:09):
I really don't feel good. I don't know what it is.

Speaker 5 (01:05:11):
And I was like, there's a tapping for that, and
there was, and she was like moved through it, and
now she has the app. So the app is not
free is the only thing, okay, but I think it
might be like an dollars for the year. Now I
use it every day, okay, sometimes multiple times a day,

(01:05:34):
so it pays for itself. But there were also like
YouTube videos that you can find for free of like
tapping for and you could like fill in the blank.

Speaker 7 (01:05:44):
So I love that app and I love tapping.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
Okay, okay, yes, that's right, you got, you got, you
got the things. Yeah, not as informative, my gosh, is
just too I recently saw Saint Smith at the residency

(01:06:10):
of the Cast Show Theater in the in SF, and
it was really fantastic.

Speaker 4 (01:06:15):
If you have a chance to go, I think anyone
she goes. Their voices gorgeous, the background, the background vocalists amazing,
I believe.

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
Yeah. Did you give a question, John.

Speaker 1 (01:06:24):
I did have a question. Did you see them when
they had on them boots? They had on the Mary J.
Blige boots with your show? Okay, not my show, but
I would have lived.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
Okay, they were giving, they were giving, They're giving a
bit more pirate in mine, I said, huh.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
Okay, no, I was gonna say people people said terrible things.
Obviously people aren't going to talk terrible.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
But he were saying that the look was terrible. But
I absolutely adored it. I thought it was a really
great look. Especially you know, I.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
Don't come for looks. I come for vocals, and I
that's what I got. Like like the and they look,
they look, they looked fine, like like I came with
the vocals and the vocals were vocally and vocals were amazing.

Speaker 4 (01:07:05):
They had a great had a great set, great opener.
I was sad that I missed. Apparently they have some
guest stars, like one show they had Hosier come out,
which I would have actually like out of cried if
Hooja came out for mine because I they saying they
saying team me in church now would have been like
you can, Like God, I'm like, you can take me
now like it because sure, because I love Hosier and

(01:07:29):
like their voice has been so many nice together. So
like ma'am, pam to Sam, great shape and aboo if
you ever hit this vibes live laugh, love you so much.

Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
You amazing, Sam, You're amazing. Please don't stop the work
and I would love to meet you one day and
just like, won't you perform? See now, I'm a parasolial
let me come and let me calm down. And I know, ma'am, pam,
if you become into a concert, you'd be far in
that concert. Get out because I like this. Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (01:08:01):
Okay, if okay actually mubile things one one, don't be far,
no damn concert. But if you are a straight person,
that's or if you are I'm gonna say, if you're
a straight.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Person in this concert, you're a guest in this house.
And if you sell the fart, don't look at me, girl,
don't don't look at me for it somebody and what happened?

Speaker 8 (01:08:27):
I was like.

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
Me but some respect and gay would ever be far
in another concert like that? That's wild. I said, you
have the wrong person, But do not come into my
don't get me my quer space. I am. I want
to bring that gate keeping not being if we have
the aspects of the door, are you clear or not?

(01:08:52):
And they and and and they're like, you know, I'm not,
please leave, You're not.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
They have every other space to.

Speaker 2 (01:09:02):
I don't. I don't need you to be here right now.
Especially excuse me of doing some scandulous ship. You know
what this reminds me of.

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
There is a meme or a clip or line where
somebody screams.

Speaker 9 (01:09:15):
These niggas eat beans, But you said fun, I said,
oh god, they eat beads a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
They ate beads.

Speaker 3 (01:09:30):
They were literally eating beads on the way in there.

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
Get some for yourself. Girls at that age higher venue
like that.

Speaker 4 (01:09:46):
You're like because because we were like, no more than
twenty feet from Sam, so I know there's no way she.

Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
Smelled it to me.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
Oh lord, that reminds me of when Janet, when Janet
was made that comment about people smoking and she was like, oh,
y'all smoking up in here. They were smoking weed at
her concert and so she had to make a comment
about it because she they were trying to hot box
her out. But my god, yeah, babies, make sure you
take some keep keep keep, get some GASX on your person.

Speaker 6 (01:10:25):
Take care of yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:10:27):
Yes, yes, you.

Speaker 1 (01:10:27):
Gotta take care of yourself. This has been so fun.
With that being said, we're about to wrap. Please send
us your thoughts, your feedback and email to Blackfatfempot at
gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
You know we love you being in our inbox.

Speaker 1 (01:10:38):
We love you being in our inbox, our d ms
on the socials and make sure that they.

Speaker 3 (01:10:43):
Are they are good? Do you do you actually just stand?

Speaker 1 (01:10:47):
But because I'm not I I will say I am
not below sending things to the peoples to let them
know that did you acting up in my begins? You
can interact with us on Instagram and Threads using the
handle at black fatfem Pod Nicole when you aren't being
the baddest in the game, where can the dolls find you?

Speaker 5 (01:11:06):
I am on Instagram at Nicole Olive and TikTok at
Nicole Olive.

Speaker 3 (01:11:12):
D okay, I love that Nicole Olive. What kind of olive?

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (01:11:22):
I always pictured it a green olive. Yes, and because
I loved color, It's one of my favorite colors.

Speaker 6 (01:11:30):
There's a green couch behind me. I love green. There's
a green object of furniture in every room in my house.

Speaker 2 (01:11:35):
I love that. I love that.

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
All right, Joho? Of course, where can the dolls find you?

Speaker 2 (01:11:43):
Of course my loves.

Speaker 4 (01:11:44):
You can for me at Jojo Daniels across all socials,
my website Joe Daniels dot com. If not there, you
will find me. Last week I also said you can
find me sleeping, but that's a lie. So you will
find me. You'll find me lying somewhere on street. I'll
be lying to people on the street about where I am. Well,
I thought you meant lying on the street, lying on

(01:12:07):
like no, no, no, I was never no lying in bed,
but lying on the street. When people ask you, oh,
where'd you go, I'm like, oh, nowhere I just went.
He did not go home, girl, go home. He went
to the club, he went to the bar, He went
to Zimbabwe. He did not come back like yep.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
And that's why you tired, because you never stay home.

Speaker 6 (01:12:30):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:30):
I check your locations and I'd be like, girl, why
are you not home?

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
Why are you not? You said earlier that you leave
people alone. Well, can be true, not me. Two thinks
could be true. My sister one thing about one thing,
one thing about about my said, She's like, girl, why
are you why are you outside?

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
I'm always tired.

Speaker 1 (01:12:56):
Yes, As for me and mine, you can catch me
on socials at the doctor, John Paul, I have been
in a baking rabbit going down a baking rabbit hole.

Speaker 3 (01:13:06):
Yeah, I'm gonna need some of that bread.

Speaker 4 (01:13:08):
Dumbking hot you made this not invite me over.

Speaker 1 (01:13:12):
I was like, you know, I have I have a
little bit of time these days, so I'm trying to
get back slowly back into the baking of it all.
Will definitely bake you something. But I was gonna say,
if you're online, you'll see me sharing. I'm my next feat.
I want to try to learn how to bake my
own donuts or how to make my own that's right, Yeah,
I want to be able to make a good donut,

(01:13:32):
so that that's the next John does yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (01:13:39):
Yes yes.

Speaker 1 (01:13:41):
Online w W dot talk to John Paul dot com,
you can learn more about my consulting, my books, and
where I will be in the coming weeks. I was
just kind of throwing it out here, throwing it out there.
I have a couple of writing retreats that I will
be going to across the country and then I will

(01:14:02):
be thank you baby, and then in May I will
be in Chicago at the Nova Summit. So if you
are in Chicago and you want to say hello and
you catch me there, say hi, pull up on me,
but also don't pull up on me. Oh right, if
you know, if you want to see and learn more
about this show watch Who I Am and to Be

(01:14:22):
on Hulu where we talk about the magic of this
show which is now streaming. That being said, this has
been another show. Stay black, Fat, femine, fabulous, and remember
what joho? Oh wait, Paus. Before we close, I wanted
to say this, do you watch Love Is Blind?

Speaker 3 (01:14:39):
Nicole?

Speaker 6 (01:14:40):
I have seen an episode?

Speaker 3 (01:14:42):
Or Okay, you're better for it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
I was gonna say this, so by the time y'all
hear this, you've had a week to watch the final
I am pissed that Alex had the audacity to get
up on that stage and talk poorly about his quote
unquote wife with all those crumbs on his face.

Speaker 3 (01:15:04):
I just needed to say that you have the audacity
to go off about.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
Her and the decisions that she made, but you are
up there talking about you don't want to get married
with crumbs on your face. I'm sick of it. I
am so sick of him, and I'm so so so
glad that she said no. But anyway, all that to
be said, let me say this again, this has been
another show. Stay black, Fat, femine, fabulous, and remember what, Joho.

Speaker 4 (01:15:29):
We will not to be a cup of tea girl,
a drink some aquapana and get the Italian mineral water
and your system, baby, because when you know.

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
Better, you too.

Speaker 3 (01:15:36):
Better do better and go wash your damn face. We'll
see you next week.

Speaker 2 (01:15:40):
Bye bye.

Speaker 4 (01:15:48):
The Black Fat Fem podcast is executive produced by Joey
Patt and doctor John Paul.

Speaker 1 (01:15:53):
All content related to the show is edited by Chris Rogers.

Speaker 4 (01:15:56):
This has been a podcast by iHeartMedia and Doctor John Paul.
Elsie the Black Fat Film Podcasts where all the intersections
of a dandie are celebrated.

Speaker 2 (01:16:04):
Honey, I know that's right.