January 27, 2026 • 71 mins
the Black Fat Femme Podcast, Jon and Joho are fresh off the conference circuit and asking a simple but radical question: what does it actually look like to put yourself first when the world keeps telling fat people to shrink?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the BFF Blackfeffim podcasts and the iHeart
podcast Network. Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of the
Blackfeffem podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated.
I am one of your hosts, John also known as
Doctor John Paul, and I just want to say, as
someone who purports themselves to be a donut connoisseur, please
(00:25):
note that when I say I want a donut, I
am not talking about Duncan donuts. Okay, I just want
to make it very clear, because there is nothing. They
only have one donut, which is often never there. They
never have it.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
They have.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
The only donut that I would eat from Duncan is
the Cruler. Other than that, every other doughnut they have
is nasty. It's the cruler. Crulers are the little ones
that are like, oh yes, and they're really soft on
the inside. That's the only donut I ever really want
from them. But a lot of people like to be like, oh,
Duncan is so good good, Where is the good in
(01:00):
the room with us? Because I have never had a
donkey donut that has made me go ooh, this is
tasty outside of that cruler.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
So I just want to say that for.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Anyone who listens, who knows me, that if you're ever
gonna see me and we're gonna be out passing, don't
ever offer me a donkey donut because it's nasty. Now,
what I will say is this for people who ask John,
what is a good donut? If you are from southern California,
Randy's donuts our top tier. I don't care what anyone says.
Randy's donut is the donut of all the donuts. Then
(01:31):
that you can give me a sidecar donut.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Have you ever had sid car? I have I had?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes, Yes, they're the more fancy or more expensive, fantastic.
Or you could just give me a regular pink box
donut from one of your corner donut chops, like, girl,
the pink.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Box donut where they fry chicken too. Yes, if you know.
If you don't, I've never.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Asked this question for you, girl, what's your what's your
favorite kind of donut?
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm an old fashioned type of bitch. I love me
old fashion.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Is it buttermilk? You like a buttermilk bar? So they're like.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
They're like they're they're the circular ones, but the like
like the rings with like crumbling edges.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
They're like gears. They're like gears. That ship. I know
what you're talking about. Bomb not in a maple bar.
Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
A twist to a twist, could give it. Oh shake
your titties, honey, because girl twist.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
You want twist? Mam, you want to twist? Yes? Yes,
but how are you my love? Okay?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
First of all, I'm just I'm gonna hold y'all. I
cannotop looking at myself right now. First of all, this
shirt with the little it's giving with the gold chain,
bitch that's.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Like off white little like like every moment.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Cute the hair, baby, get into the hair. Yes, the
hair is cute. The brows are browing, but you needs
bowtops me when you got braids. But you also are black,
so I mean wow, I mean wake that ship up
with the book.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
People are.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
People have been like it's feels great. Do you do
botok So I'm like no, like there's no faking way,
And I'm like no, I don't. You're black and my
list my lips are good too, like oh I look
this week girl.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I don't crack and don't chi that's my favorite. Ku,
You're right, my travel don't chip okay.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I am, y'all, Isia Bessie joho ak Jordan Jordan aka Joho.
I am in d C currently, which is really really cold.
It's called as the hell on these streets. Y'all, I
realize I'm not built for this. I'm here for the
Creating Change Conference, which is really amazing, incredible, and we'll
talk about the conferences.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
In our in our in our main air main segment.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
But y'all, but I got here and it was twenty
two degrees. And let me tell you, Like grow up
in the Bay, it could it would get a twenty seven.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Degrees in winter time.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
So I'm not like, I'm it's not foreign to me.
But now I'm San Diego and now it's it's different.
Like now as I get cold and the and the
windshield and the art, it's like it's arctic. So I
was like this, like a guy here, I said, bitch,
I'm freezing today.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I walked.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I think I walked to the because I'm staying at Airbnb,
not at the hotel.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
So I walked.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
It was like a ten minute walk and it's like
forty degrees. I'thing like with a swarterner jacket. I feel good.
I can work with that right. But on Saturday, so
also I I we have to see if I if I
make it out of here or not because mostly.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Sunday storm it's a snow snowstorm day.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So I don't know if we can go back Saturday
or just stay longer get snowted. I have no idea yet,
but Saturday, the high the high is seventeen and the
low is I think seven.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Nope, y'all could keep that. Y'all could keep that.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Shout out to our DC listeners because I know that
there are a few of y'all who listen, and there
are and y'all quite a few stuns.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Yeah, aren't Daniels aren't you sure FFM podcast the award?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Then let's talk about it for those of you who
are watching.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And when today someone say it was like I walk
by this, excuse me, aren't you a celebrity? I was like, no,
They're like, aren't you the coach of a warning podcast?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
That was like and I was like, who sent you?
Who sent you? Bitch? That's why? Okay, point to one.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And then I mess when ilse who I we have
follow each other this morning and then I saw my
again and they're like, bitch, I know exactly who the
fuck you are. You and John, y'all do that ship
and that's.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
That you know that. Yes, send my love to everybody there.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I said I couldn't show there this week because obviously
y'all know, mother's back in the classroom when she got classes.
There was no way I was gonna be able to
kind of swing being able to be at two conferences
in the same like, in the same month. But with
that being said, I'm so happy you're there. I'm happy
er they're representing the show.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Shout out.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I just definitely want to say this before we go
into our show. Out out to those who have sent
so many amazing messages and so many uplifting comments about
our wins. I think what folks don't seem to get
is that and this is why it's such a big
deal that we constantly keep saying that this show is
an award winning show, because what folks don't know is
most black podcasts, most black queer podcasts, most queer podcasts
(06:21):
don't get the celebration or get the light that they deserve,
and a lot of them in very quickly and so
for us to be on the air for five years,
actually this is our fifth year. For this show to
be on the air for five years, for us to
be almost at two hundred episodes, for us to have
three awards and one Webby honored, being honored by the
(06:43):
web There's just there's something to be said, and we
have to have that in order for us to keep going.
So thank you to everybody who sees it. Thank you
for everybody who sees it for us, we are very grateful,
and yes, thank you for loving on us. So let's
beat this up. Let's go ahead and move into our
still here segment. Y'all know that this is where we
give miss Tcha Campbell her flowers. Speaking of Tcha Camble,
(07:06):
she has a new movie coming out that actually looked
really fucking good.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
She's met me happy movie on life.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So I wanted to shout her out because the clip
I saw, she ate down every single scene that she
was in and I was like, Okay, Tisha, she back
to her real acting.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
So I want to give her her flowers.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
We love her, so proud of her, and I'm very
happy that she is ultimately out here shining and thriving.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
But with that being.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Said, I just got back as we were talking about
and we're gonna be talking more about conferences in a second.
I just got back from fat Con, where I had
a glorious fat ass time. I wanted to ask you.
And this is also partly too selfish, because as you know,
I'm currently working on a project that is very fat
centered and really thinking about this idea. And this is
(07:53):
where kind of the conversation started, or I would say
it was extended. Was that fat Con asking the question
to set the stage for going to be talking about
more in this episode. I want to talk about the age,
but one specific I wanted to ask you the question
being in the age of o Zimpic and folks, in
my opinion, I don't know if it's your opinion, but
I know it's my opinion, and I will fully take
(08:15):
whatever tomatoes people throw at me. There are a lot
of folks who are using glps for the wrong reason, right.
There are folks who need golps right in order to
regulate whatever they're dealing with, But there are some folks
who are just doing it out of sheer vanity. I
wanted to ask you, how are you glorifying that, whether
it be at this conference, whether it be in your life,
(08:35):
whether it be date your day to day, I'll go
ahead and share with you my thoughts and we'll go
ahead and jump to you. So first I wanted to
say shout out. I just want to say, I mean,
I can't shut up about it because I honestly, and
again we're going to talk more about this. I've never
been to a conference where I didn't want to leave,
if that makes sense. Like I actually was really fucking
sad on the Sunday when I had to like pack
(08:58):
up my stuff, and like it just it felt it
was literally very like it literally uplifted me in a way.
And so I don't know if anyone who's listening to this,
if you've ever heard of fat Con, it happened in
Seattle every year, please go. Like I'm hoping me and
you Joho can go next year together that that would.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Be such an amazing thing.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
But anyway, I want to say that I went into
that conference with very little expectations because honestly, I hate conferences,
and I'm going to talk more about that later. But
coming home, I felt like the conference really helped me
understand the not only just the next chapter of the
work that I have to do, both emotionally, personally and professionally.
But I also think that it helped me understand what
(09:40):
platform we have to encourage folks, specifically male presenting or
mass presenting folks, what it means to struggle with disorder
eating and body dysmorphia. And I also want to say,
like shout out to our producer, because that was one
of the things we were talking about before we came
into the show. We were talking about how a lot
of folks talk about eating disorders, or they talk around
eating this, or or they even talk around fat, but
(10:01):
they never talk about what.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Causes these things.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
It was really cool to be in a space where
I could openly say, yeah, I had an eating disorder
and this is what cost it, or for someone else
to say, I'm still struggling with my eating disorder and
these are all the reasons why.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
And so it just that really helped.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
But what I also say is, I know we dance
a lot around the idea or the concerted effort of
going forward in terms of like fat justice and things,
but I really think when we talk about how I
glorifying it, I really think that speaking directly to it
really speaking about you or even naming and I know
we've done this and obviously, like I said, we're in
(10:38):
episode one hundred and eighty seven, we talked about there's
no way for us to talk about fatness without talking
about racial issues or talking about oppression or talking about transphobia,
because they're all interlocked.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
And so I think.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
That's gonna also be a big crux of a lot
of what I write, hint, hint and create in the
next couple of months. Last year, I want fat people
to be seen as more than someone who is vying
to love themselves and struggling to do so. And I
even posted this I'm sick of like I wish there
was like I wish we could celebrate Lizo for Lizzo
being Lizzo and how talented Lizo is. Like every time
(11:15):
it's always tied back to her weight, and I'm sick
of it. And so it's like I just I think
I want the world to see as this whole people
pun intended who are literally happy, full and healed, Like
not every fat person you speak to is going through
something or hates their body or hates where they are
in life.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Like we are happily, we are happily healed.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
People like we're just fat and we're like if you
left us alone, we'd be one hundred and ten percent good.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
So yeah, so how are you glorifying fat?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You know, I'm thinking about this, especially after you hear
if you saw Amber Riley's stories recently kind of yeah,
a full story. Yes, we're this person, this person like
Bay basis per and like Amber was just as existing
in life, went to see a friend for brunch, right,
(12:06):
maybe you dress a bit more like maybe like dressed
like like a bit more mask right.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
And the and like.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And there's like this person like like kept this dude
like can make your uncomfortable, like was like making mos
about like about about her fatness like like like was
like was being home a public Twitter as well too.
It was just a lot of things, right, And so
I'm thinking about this as you asked this question about
how you go glorifying fat because like just existing on
(12:36):
public as a fat person to some people is there
is they feel like you're glorifying fat.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Right, Like how dare you be fat in public?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I think a lot about when I fly, right, especially
if I'm gonna fly coach or economy and I'm sitting
right in these cramped seats, I'm worried, Like I worry
about the.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Person next to me.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Are they gonna be like oh this fat bite? But
the part of me is like like like like well,
I mean, I mean I'm suffering too out in the day,
But like why like why like why are we not
pointing out the systems that put us in these positions?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Right?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Like why aren't we pointing at the systems of an
airplane that was designed for thin people to make the
most money and not designed for actual comfort for anybody?
Because like no one's actually comfortable, Like no one actually
likes someone to go see regardless, right, So like you know,
like what like I get there would be maybe may
maybe be anti capitalist, Like what'd you to design a
plane everyone has two seasons seats but fit more patients
(13:33):
for each for each person, Like how amazing that would be?
And so I think I'm thinking about that, Like I'm
glorifying fat by constantly challenging policies and systems around me
to say, let's stop blaming the fat person for being fat,
but then the systems that oppress them for being fat
in the first place, and and and the systems that
that glorify thinness, Like we should dissess the systems that
(13:55):
make you believe that thin is the best thing you
should be in the world, because like that is not
the end I'll be for me, and that is nothing,
and that I'll be all for Like that's not like
I think people want to aspire to change your bodies.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
They should.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I like my right, my vision of liberation that people
can do whatever they want with their bodies, but we shouldn't,
Like we should not be moving as if being thing
is going to save save you and solve all your
problems in the world.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
It doesn't.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
And I think my right, might I glorify fat by
saying I actually can build a life I want to
build as a fat person, Like I can live in
amazing life, and like my faintness doesn't prohibit me from
living that life or prohibits me. Is the structures around
me that are designed to make me feel prohibited in
the first place. And so I really want, like I
(14:41):
I think I push that thinking, and that to some
people is glorifying fatness, But to me, it's actually about
glorifying accessibility for all people, because everyone should be able
to access life and live life in meaningful way regardless
of regardless of what they look like, or whether regardless
of what they look like or like like or what
their abilities are. And that's why I think people to
think about more. And then and then I'm also you know,
(15:04):
I think a lot about like uh like like centering fatness.
Like I will say in this conference right now, right
there's like a lot of these sessions.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
The chairs are closed.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Together and I'm gonna still not fly right, like We're
trying get everyone in here, and I understand why, but
like why don't we like like how feel comfortable?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Right?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Fat folks don't have to apologize to taking up the space
when like the issue is actually the spacing of the
of the ballroom. Issue was spacing at the hotel like
like and I get it, right, Like it's easier about
the person than blame the designs, the systems and architectures
around us.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I'm really tired to blame.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
On people for just living right Like it's like it's
like it's I think, I'm I love, I love blameing
people for a lot of things, but like things that
they actually like are bad for, right, like being that
person in homophobia.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
One thing that Jordan is gonna do. She's gonna point
her finger, which no shade. But again, I one thing
I know about my sister is she is going to
point her finger at I.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I only fingers point. I don't fingers people that.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
That don't deserve to be point like like like I
point fingers at the bullshit that we have to experience,
right and so like stooing fingers as people startling fingers
are the things that keep us locked in these systems.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Right? Do you know what the cage bird sings? Girl?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I mean, and I'm not trappy in that gauge no more, bitch,
God damn, why is the burd in the cage? And
the goddamn way My husband said that. I was like,
who has birds? The point why in a cage?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Was asking why is the cage there in the first place?
The cage? I was asking, why is cage bird singing? No?
The bird what? What? What? What? The bird in the cage? Who?
And who has the cage? Who has the cage? Like
the key to the cage.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah, okay, tell me what you do successfully quickly, like
make it, make it put me, yes, we gotta but
you the cage, yes, even no you you I'm with
you when you write and when you right, you right,
right now, you are right. And so with that being said,
(17:10):
I agree with all of that, like we have to.
And I think that's the biggest thing, Like why are
we always blaming fat people for systems that they literally
are trying to survive? And these systems we're not built
for us in any capacity. And so yes, I just
I appreciate you naming that because I think that's one
of the things that we oftentimes overlook, is that these
(17:30):
systems are not built for us, and yet we continue
to keep thriving in them even though we shouldn't have to.
We shouldn't have to be in these systems at all.
But anyway, all that to be said, now that we've
given you a reason to glorify your obesit, we are
going to take a quick break and come back with
this category.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Okay, Sam, we are back, and this week we're keeping
it light considering all the things going on in the world.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Although it is a light, we'll find out, but more
because certain Johnson conference and I'm currently at.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
One, I thought it be cool to talk about the
pros and cons of conferences, which is so important and
why is this so important? Research the hell them for
you spend all that money to go or volunteer there more.
We're about to hit some conference seasons, right, shout with
the dolls listened to. The dogs who listened too, are
in student affairs who working on profit sectors? Right, and
this is the beginning of the year is all about
conference season, and honestly, no one talks about how playing
(18:23):
in your life around them.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Can be so damn stressful. And also some conferences are
just dumb, like.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Some are like about about asking what do you remember
what your first conference was? The things that live in
your mind went rent the things that live in your
mind rent free awesome for me on my first conferences
was focused on like when the first Big girl conference
was for this unphilanthropy and then this was eighteen. Black
Panther just came out, right, list of the scene. Black
(18:49):
Panther came out. Ryan Couler made a fantastic film. Everyone
loves Chadwick Boseman. Everyone's like, what conduff forever? Like people
are are doing this, like people love this shit. So
I know this why ask conference? And the theme is
finding Wakanda. Now wait a second, Chris, I hope you
entered a record scratch here because when I tell you,
(19:11):
there's no.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Where with this where I live now all oh.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I was like, this is interesting and so this the
organization does great work, for sure, But.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I was like, I was like, hearing a bunch of.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
White folks talk about or let me here much of
let me this, I'm here much a bunch of non
black folks discussed finding or building Wakanda anthropy felt so weird.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
And I was there, like is this really happy right now?
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Like no one's saying a damn thing. I was maybe
let's say, one of five black folks in the a
credit of like hundreds of people, And I was like,
are we all just gonna be like yes?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
And then like right, are we don't act like we
don't see this okay, okay okay, and like and like you.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Know, like the this is and like you and like
and like the closings that the closing Plinaria.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
The person's like and remember Wakanda Forever? What do you like?
Conda girl? Where do you have vibrating among you? Like?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
It was just so wild right and it was and
it was weird because it was my first my first
big girl commence, my first time in this in the
field that I'm working in, and I there are first
shops I appreciate. I was moved by philanthropy is an
agent of change. But the fact that this whole place
built itself. This year's theme off of finding a conduct
a black panther when it was not like, it wasn't
(20:33):
made for this audience was wild and that was my mind.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
That was my experience. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
You know, sometimes you gotta keep you gotta laugh to
keep keep from eye. My first conference was something called so,
I don't know, were you ever in ra when you
lived on when you were in school?
Speaker 2 (20:55):
No, you were never was. And I and I live
on campus.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Okay, Oh yeah, of course you didn't. Okay, and you
know what, you probably are better for it. So with
that said, I was very involved as a resident assistant.
I was a resident assistant. I am literally aging myself
from two thousand and four to two thousand and seven.
I was a resident assistant when I was in college.
And there's something called well specifically, there are different raps.
(21:21):
I don't know if the RAP is an acronym, and
if it is, I have no idea what the RAP
stands for. But there's different raps for different areas and
different segments of where you live, and so Southern RAP
considering that we are in southern California, was a thing
for all of the ras. And this is where all
the schools come together. This is where you're supposed to
have swat, You're supposed to be very like cheerful and prideful.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
And blah blah blah blah blah. And it was.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
It's basically it's like going to cheer For anybody who's
listened to this and has ever gone to cheer camp,
I know I haven't gone to cheer camp, but I've
heard stories of cheer camp. It's literally like going to
cheer camp for a day, and so it's awful. It
was awful, And I think that's honestly where my hatred
for conferences started, because it all feels so performative, and
(22:07):
I think for me was even more like alarming for me,
or at least when I think back on it as
I was putting this together, and I was like, damn,
I think like as I was thinking more about it,
For me, it was the idea of not only were
there just a ton of people who were trying to
be the smartest person in the room and trying to
be like the most creative, which is cool, right, if
that's your thing, go off. But I felt like black
(22:29):
people in the space were often left out of conversations,
like a lot of them kind of got looked over,
or their sessions weren't well attendant like moment and again
you probably know this too, like when you were younger,
when you see moments that are very steeped in racism
and oppression and you don't really know what the word is,
but you know what's happening. That's how I felt every
(22:49):
time I went to Southern rap and so I just
I always felt left out. And then over the years,
the opportunity came. Obviously, you all know I come from housing,
I come from student affairs, and so when I was
working in housing, some and asks me to schair the
same conference, and there was just this deep seated each
feeling that I had with thinking about ya, right, Like,
(23:10):
I just it literally always made me feel. So I
think that conference was kind of like it's set the
tone for me to start looking at conferences as like
this is some bullshit like and it's not to say
that there aren't good conferences obviously, Like I said, fat
Con is a great example of how conferences can be
done well. And I actually really want to get I
think that's what I'm gonna do after this. And this
(23:33):
is just a note tar to our our producers. I
would love to get Pucky on this show because Pucky
is the one who kind of does everything around fat
Con and really just talking about how do you create
a magical space for thousands of people? Right, That's literally
what what that con for me was. It was like, Wow,
this person has intentionally created a space where thousands of
(23:55):
people can literally just be themselves. And so but yeah,
that that conference really shit. A lot of the feelings
that I have of like I fucking hate any type
of oh do you want to come to this conference?
Not really like no shade unless you're paying me to
keynote it. I don't want to be there, Okay there. Yeah,
So that's just that, that's that's my thing. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(24:18):
it just it's kind of made me feel jaded.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Well you know, I'm thinking about like, like just to
this point, right, like, I like I thought about the
my first conference and the theme of peace and and
platforms not being involved in and I also thinking about
the other next CONTs I want to speaking about, like
about like using indigenous values. In invalanthe bringing, they had
(24:40):
this book that they dropped it I had read before
them before the conference, and I met the author and
I was like, this is like this is your book
is so fantastic.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
It's like transformative for me, and people like no, no,
no read the book.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
And I was sad because I was like, people are
taking their time at conferences to show up and deliver
something and you aren't actually doing the prep to do
it and demon traits right like like like listen, like
to me, sometimes the conferences are also vacations, like.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I I on the bitch.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
She was like a work trip sometimes also vacations you like,
I love to have fun work, but I also get
my work done and I and I and I and
I pay attention to things, and so I think also
I struggle with the folks who come and don't like
and don't wanna like interrogate what they're experiencing and like
how she like use what they're learning even even even
(25:29):
in this, even in this, even in this conference, like
I'm thinking a lot about there's some sessions that I went.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
To that was like this like like this is this
is this was the final problem you took. You took
this pitch and not the other bit. Okay, let's wake
that up.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Okay, Well, for for example, right like, for example, I
was in a session I'm about AI and the presenter
did not show up at all, and so there's somebody
there who did.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
They're they're like, oh, it's punny of that this happened.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I submitted, I pitched for an AVERSATIONA ied, so I
feel vindicated.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
And I was like, well I and I sid I
said well are you here now?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah, do it and she was like she was like
what And I was like you should do it, and
like the and like like like like people are like.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Oh are you are you a conference manager? And I
was like, no, girl, I'm just I'm I'm a rebel
round there. I'm just a girl. I'm stage coup.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
But being actually a great presentation, like they did a
fucking fantastic I.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Was like.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
To me to do it, okay, saying you should do
this girl, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Because that's because both of mine didn't get approved.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
They literally I'm curious. I'm curious of how things are reviewed, right,
question how things reviewed?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
And then and then and then I went to another
session today I was looking forward to.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
That was kind of like, yeah, that was the one
in our pre show you totals.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
No, that was not that one that it was another
one this damn Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Like, what what can I do successfully quickly? And so
I'm just like, huh, And so I said to say.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Right, like like I think people don't love conferences because.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Conferences because like I wonder how, I wonder how that
she does not right, it's not right?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Like if I if I just haned a conference, I'd
be really intense about who I have to speak and
like and I'd be like, let's are some prep sessions
so you know what you're doing and see what.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Because the cigarets are exactly exactly Yeah okay, so so
so also say, since you know, I think I think
you discussing what about not for included brings up the
good thought to examine, right could You've been vocal about
(27:58):
how much you love dot com and you know, and
I'm sharing about like how people who do good work
are left out of these college spaces and people who
do okay worker somehow.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
In I'm curious to ask you what made your experience
such a up, like, what are the mechanics of a
good conference for you?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Right?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
So, and this is the thing that I again as
I'm working on stuff, you know, I tell people one
of the biggest things for me that I loved about
fat Con is the idea that everything felt so intentional,
like even down to like the little nuanced things that
like people normally don't pay attention to.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Like.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
So, there were a lot of people at fat Con
who came in from Portland, Oregon, and they were like, oh,
I took amtrak. The Amtrak station was literally like maybe
four or five I'm being facetious when I say steps,
because it was it's a little bit of a walk,
but it's literally like from maybe like your kitchen to
your front door. Like that's literally the walk from the
Amtrak station to the actual hotel. So the idea that
(28:57):
someone would say, okay, well I have to think about
where a hotel is going to where are our stay
or where a hotel is going to be for people
who are coming you know, via amtrak, or even with
parking and all that, Like they like the parking. There
was myriads of parking for people who could who could
come in. There's little stuff like that that made me go, wow,
they really thought about this, Like they really genuinely thought
(29:18):
about fat people being safe and comfortable enough to walk
from the Amtrak station. Got it, you know, I think folks.
And then also like other people came in with different intentions,
like I'm not here. So I want to be clear
because I'm pretty sure that there are people who will
be at creating change who will be like, Okay, we
(29:39):
listened to your episode, and John, there's part of you
that's just get you know, salty that your your programs are,
that your pitches didn't get picked up. I am, I
will say, I am a little salty that didn't they
didn't get picked up because I know they were good, right,
I know what I pitched. I pitched two different things,
not trying to make this a caveat, but I pitched
one about working with black and brown kids in areas
(30:03):
that aren't friendly.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
To black and brown queer kids. Obviously that's my job.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
And then I pitched another one about why black queer
fat voices aren't necessary in media right now, like because
of everything that's happening.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
None of them got picked up, but I saale of that.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
To say, I genuinely loved that there were people. The
point that I'm trying to make is that the sessions
that I went to were very thought provoking for the time,
but also the people who were in those sessions weren't
trying to what's the word common deer, I think that's
the word I want to use the hundred dollars. They
(30:37):
weren't trying to commandeer the session to be like, I'm
the smartest person in the room and you have to
listen to me.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I was in a session full of.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
People who had social work degrees, including doctors, who were
talking about the conversation. The actual session was talking about
basically the ways that we can make therapists and make
people more cognitive of issue around fat people.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
And you would have.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Never known that there were people in there who had
like awards for their work that they've done around as
being a doctor for fat people, Like you would have
never known because they just genuinely were in the session
to listen and to hear and to learn, and so like,
for me, that's the thing that that often makes me
go like this is a great space because people are
not coming to the space to say, look at me,
(31:23):
I'm the smartest person in the room. They're coming to
the room to say there's something there might be something
here that may help me and my practice or help
other people i'm helping, and I want to I want
to take that information back with me when I'm done.
So that was one of the things I think for me,
I just I think. The last thing I'll say is
that I just felt like the entire three days I
(31:43):
was there, I felt safe and I don't I don't
know again, and I'm trying to do my best not
to reign on your conference experience there, but I will
say from my experience back in January of last year
when we were in Vegas, and I don't know how
much of it was Vegas, I don't know how much
of it was the location, I don't know how much
(32:03):
of it was the actual conference, but there were times
that I didn't feel emotionally and physically safe in different spaces,
and so it just even even again, I'm not gonna
name names, I'll name it off off the mic or
I'll text them to you, but there was a session
I went to and it was supposed to be celebrating
black queer people, and I didn't feel good the whole
(32:24):
time I was in that space, it just it did
not feel good for me. So I think for me,
you know, I just I definitely think that. I think
the biggest part for me is having a black woman.
I think seeing that a black woman is leading this
and seeing that people actually let the black woman lead
is what made me go, this is a bomb ass conference.
Because the people, specifically the white women who worked with her,
(32:48):
made it a point to always say, well, Pucky said this,
Pucky did this. They weren't trying to they weren't trying
to make it about them. They were very much trying
to keep it in the vision that Pucky had set
out out with. And you just I just felt it.
I just felt it through and through and maybe the
maybe the ancestors were with me there too, and maybe
was guiding me and my own journey and was probably
(33:10):
and that's probably what I felt was probably my own.
It was probably more me and maybe other people went
to fact KNA didn't have that experience, and I'm sorry
if that didn't happen for them. But I know for me,
I said, I cannot I'm like, I literally cannot wait
to fast forward till January of twenty twenty seven to
be there again, because just something about that experience was
so magical and so restorative and so uplifting for me.
(33:34):
I went in very much kind of like mah, whatever, girl,
and I left being like, Okay, I got this, I
got this, you know.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
So what I think, and I think there are there
are most multiple mechanics of a good conference. I think
like most conferences I go to are like one to
two days, which I think is too short for a conference, right,
Like that is.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Very much it's just networking.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
You're trying to hit all the shit and you're just
like like your time as thoughts, and I feel like
it's not time.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I like that you said yours is three days, so
I think that is actually a amount of time creating change.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
Is I mean almost a whole week, right, Like we're
here from two from we start Tuesday from are welcoming,
and then Wednesday the sessions. But like Wednesday, let's say
also persons like Wednesday through Saturday or full sessions, and
then Tuesday and Sunday are like half days, right, so
like five full days I think to me is a
little bit too long. Like I'm like Friday is a
(34:25):
long time. But you I said, I appreciate about it
is that you get the time. How she builds something
with people today conversation, you haven't time to build nothing.
So I think the mechanics of a good experience, Like
I know, my best conference I ever won to before
was also five days long, and you know, like like
it was also a very booge converce. Right, we all
we got like five star treatments. But like the idea
(34:46):
of having more time, I think built into a schedule
for you and to make time for others.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
And so I love that.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
I love creating and change because I'm loving seeing how
fucking queer this place is. Like they took a whole
hotel in Washington, d C. In this tired ass oppressed
regime and made it queer as fun and I think
it's really amazing.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Like I'm seeing folks and every presentation, every affectation.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Now, I will say a majority of folks here are
like are our BiPOL How about folks here?
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I think I think I think a fifth of folks
are traned.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Like the like like the the the the The demographics
are looking great here and I love that a lot.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
I appreciate.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
I love DC as a city, Like, I think it's
such a cool, interesting city.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
So I'm really loving this experience.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I wonder I wonder what feedback they got at the
last one and what they implemented into it this time.
I mean, I I have some intel because I know
some of the folks who are help producing it to
know a lot of attention went into this in a
different way than before, and it's really really good. I
do think what's interesting about this, right is that also
(35:58):
what a great way to demonstrate that queer folks have
different perspectives too, and that we actually aren't a monolith
and that like, like I was in session today where
I was really actually upset because somebody mane a comment about,
like about black folks from a different country, we're a
different area bridge in the world, not being allies in
the struggle for liberation, and I was like, I'm the
(36:21):
person and and I was, I was, if you aren't black,
do not say this, Like I was pissed, but I
was like, I'm holding I'm holding my by my tongue.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
But yeah, but I love that.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
What like, what I appreciate is that queer folks can
also come in and be messy and raggedy and amazing
and beautiful at the same time that we as corn
transportion also be probably problematic, and I think, right there
is space for us to also call each other in
and actually work things out together.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
I think that.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I'm definitely like, I'm definitely living with a great appreciation
of identity based conferences, right Like, I know people are
working like why a whole segment about conference conference culture,
But I think because there's a significance about community and
any based conversations happening at any base spaces, right Like,
the conferences are based off of my work sector. I
don't always love because it feels too like to work focused,
(37:17):
and this feels more like personality focus in personal focus,
I really appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
I think accessibility is a huge topic as well too.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
I love that you're saying that that fat con that
the that the transtation right was right next to where
the hotel was or where there even where the venue was.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Not to cut you off. Not to cut you off, babe.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
I was gonna also say too, like even from like
when you come down the elevator to go around the
corner to go up another elevator, the location was like
I mean, the event was there like you didn't have
to wet, weren't going far yeah miles, Yeah, you didn't
have to walk miles to get to your your sessions.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
It was everything was literally right there. It just everything out. Yeah.
I appreciating that.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
About this space too, because I mean the hotel is
a hotel, about the conference office all on one side,
and so like we're having to walk a little bit
but not like a mile to get to places.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
All of rooms are next to each other.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
But I am thinking about right, like I said earlier,
like there are fat folks, so how do we space
out the rooms actually people comfortable. I appreciate that every
bathroom and I've seen so far has been all made
to be gender neutral, right, even the ones with the urinals,
all the sounds or this is all generital and I
appreciate that. Right, It shows that QUT folks and coexist
of not having to fight over a bathroom or something
(38:27):
right because right, not the power bathroom.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
And I love that.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
So I think I think there are certain I think
I think right, these are the pieces that make a place,
specially when people feel good. I appreciate that every session
has feedbacks. You know, I led, I led it creentiated.
You have workshops, right, you have workshops which is like
an hour and a half of like New York Instruction Institution,
which is a whole day of instruction, and then caucuses
(38:51):
which will like get networking gathering spaces.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
And I hosted a multiracial caucus. I was like, asked, like,
last week, did I went to host one? And I
was like, I'll do it.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
And we had about twenty five people come, which I
was honestly like surprised, like I wasn't drawing me to
be and.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
I was, I was nervous.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
I was like, I don't know, I'm doing this my
first time being like presenter right at this type of conference.
And I think what I loved about what I did,
and I think people loved it because I got a
lot of it back saying how good it was was
that one I came in I was like and I
was like, I'm not here to tell you and be
prescriptives anything, right, Right, We're gonna do an engaging icepaker
that we're going to try out and people vibe with it.
We did like a speededating type experience everyone loved and
(39:27):
then halfway through I was like, we have about twenty
five minutes left.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Do we want to continue doing this? And one said yes.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
The one person was like, actually I love to do
like a a group share. And I was like, okay,
who's down for a group share? And then like and
like everyone was like great, like we're gonna talk about
and then I was like, okay, how about you all
give topics you want to discuss and we'll put them together.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
Like I like, I right, like I was in my
teacher facial to your back.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I wasn't trying to say let's do x y Z,
I said, let's I said, I said, let's let's take
let me take a note from you, because I think
your point right about there are probably experts in this
room has space to do so like people come in
are people are coming to be curious and learn something
they're and binding curiosity into them something from this, learn
from this, and you have such the opportunity to say,
(40:15):
let me also create a space where you can all
be curious together, and really and realized that right because
I never performed myself to be the expert of all
things motivatial, I did say is that I'm an expert facilitation.
I'm happy to guide us to a conversation, which I
did excellently. Let me let me, let me, let me
take directive from y'all, but you want to discuss. So
(40:37):
we had two topics and I and then and then,
and then I was like, listen, take ad time. We
can't do both of us to do them together, so
let's them together instead of them by to be a
boom or actually raise.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Someone was like, can we do this together?
Speaker 3 (40:47):
And I said great, We're gonna actually do them together,
and then said that way to step different topics and
that felt great, right, and so also call me in
about my like I had may have comment of like
stand up and do this, and people are like, we're
not ever going to stand and I was like no, what,
you're right. I also said speak up and I was
like not never can speak. So let me also like
call in myself of my ablest language. And I love
that they felt safe enough because right like they felt
(41:08):
have to say like hey, now everyone can do that.
I have to say you're right, right, because people don't
feel safe enough to agmit that they're wrong. And I
was like, you're right, that's my bad. Let me also
change how I approach this as well too, So I
think folks who love conferences or good conferences or put
on conferences, these are some things that you can think
about of what makes a good conference good for people? Yeah,
and what your transcaretarens can be better made for you
(41:31):
as a person who attend to the person who presents,
the person who runs it.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
I was gonna say, I, I'm appreciating everything that you're
sharing because obviously, like you're in the conference mind and
I know some people like I'll say this. When you
brought up let's talk about conferences for a segment, I
was like, yuck. I cringed a little because I've left
so many conferences in my lifetime thinking I found friends
or that I had a good experience, only to realize
(41:56):
that in some sessions or some spaces, folks were just
passing off try or trauma bonding. Right. It wasn't It
wasn't truly a moment for me to like learn it
was actually me processing efforts being like ooh lord, this
person took up all the space so that way they
could talk about their trauma.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Sad.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Right, So I think it is.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Important for folks to note, like when they go to conferences,
to go to conferences with intention same way, it's important
for the people who are putting on the conference to
be intentional.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
I think for.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Us who are educators, who are speakers, who want like
I mean even thinking get down to podcasters. Right, there
are people there's something called pod movement, right you can
go to it's a whole conference about podcasting. You know,
going to any conference, you have to really be intentional
in your mind about what you want to walk out
of that experience with. And you know, can I say
that last year I had some great experiences that create
(42:43):
and change how Yeah, I had a really good time,
you know when it came down to going to like
the ball and there were a whole bunch of other
things that happened throughout the throughout the week that I
thought was absolutely fantastic. And then there was a session
about you know, someone saying how do we do you know,
there was a whole one session that I really remember
that I took a lot from. Was someone talking about
(43:04):
the you know, twenty twenty five or the whatever, that
right wing movement whatever it's called. How do you like
how do you do it from a positive standpoint? Like
how do you counter everything that they're doing? That was fantastic.
That session was probably the best session that I went
to when I was there last year. But what I
will say is that it's like, again, that person who
put that presentation together was extremely intentional about what they
(43:26):
wanted folks to walk away from. And I think that's
the thing that people remiss, Like people oftentimes will go
to these conferences and will submit just for their ego.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
They're not submitting because they're trying to.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Help people become better at their careers or at their
their craft. And I know, for me, like that's why
I said when I submitted, I submitted it from the
lens of I want to help people who are on
the ground helping queer kids, and I submitted from I
want to help black queer people who are wanting to
get into media spaces and are having struggles or issues,
how do they navigate them right? Because I'm doing both,
(43:58):
like I'm using my platform to you both.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
And again it didn't happen, and it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
But when I say all of that to say, I
still know in my heart of hearts that it wasn't
an ego thing for me. It was I'm genuinely trying
to help people become better. But it is what it is.
But I do say this. I think it is extremely important.
This is the last thing I want to say, and
then we can skirt on. I think it is so
important for people to remember. And like you said, I'm overwhelmed.
When you go to a conference, it is okay for
(44:24):
you to go back up to your room, or for
you to go back to your airbnb, or for you
to go back to your car, or for you to
go home. For some of the people who live where
the conference is happening, go home because you cannot be
everywhere and do everything, even though there's a culture that
tells you you have to be at every session at
every time. All that folks are watching you.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Girl. No, Like I know, they did.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
A dance party at FATCN on Saturday, and where was I.
I was in my room watching him, his and hers
because I was tired. I said, no, I said, I
was in two sessions today. I was on a panel
and I spent three hours selling fifty books. I sold
forty three. I say, good, honey. I was like, I
literally have had like more conversation with one with multiple
(45:07):
people in a day that I have had in a month.
I was like, I am roasted, honey, I'm going to bed.
At seven thirty, I was getting where are you are
you coming to the party. No, I'm standing up in
my room. The party also didn't start tim nine thirty,
and I'm like, start to party at nine thirty, bitch,
I'm old. I'm going home. I was like, I love y'all,
(45:28):
but I gotta put me first.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Loocis. I was like, I can't do this. I'm going home.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
So like, I want folks to hear this and also
know like you don't have to always be I think
that's I guess that's the message, Like you don't always
have to be on and it is okay for you
to go to these conferences, you know, like my mama said,
eat the meat and spit out the bone, eat, take
what you could take, whatever else.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Leave it there. It is what it is.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
But I just like I said, from my heart to yours,
I hope the rest of your creating change is fantastic.
I hope you have a great experience. Hell, I hope
you meet the love of your life there. I really
want you to have a great time because I do
recognize that you know all of these conferences right now especially.
That's the reason why, like I said, why I'm so
happy that I got to go to fat com, Like
we need to be in community with other people, even
(46:11):
with the bullshit that comes with it.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
So I, y'all, now I'll be giving you some take
care of yourself between sessions or make an experience for
others or for yourself.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
We want to click break and come back with what's popped?
All right, y'all.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
So this wouldn't be BLACKFM if we were not gonna
give you a little bit of a pop culture moment.
So in our What's Popping this Week, we are going
to talk about By the time y'all hear this, it
will have been a couple of days since the Oscar
nominations have come out, but today we are recording on
the day that they dropped, and so we wanted to
kind of talk through what our thoughts are around it
(46:53):
and just really kind of give people an opportunity to
be like maybe.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
I should tune into the Oscars.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Or maybe I should should uh, maybe I should just
wait for the cliff notes that that'll come down with
threads or come down you know my Facebook feeds. So
with that being said, I wanted to kind of get
into each of these and just kind of get thoughts
on stuff. Maybe you saw it, maybe you didn't. Maybe
you saw the nominations and you said yes, yes, yes, yes,
(47:19):
or maybe you said.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
Girl, no, girl, no. So let's start, do we do
we want to start with?
Speaker 1 (47:27):
You know?
Speaker 2 (47:28):
So?
Speaker 1 (47:28):
I guess my question is do we want to talk
about the big one or do we just want to
kind of talk about the other ones and then go
into the big one.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
And let's do Let's do the small ones first, Okay,
so we'll start from the smaller ones.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Yeah, so first let's say, oh, do you want to Sorry, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
I think you're gonna start exactly where I'm gonna start.
That they shut out Wicked, which I think zilch. I
was like, and none for Christina They said none for Christina.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Girl. They said like nothing. Some are saying they're like,
are you serious? Girl? Like and oh I know this
like vibes No.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
That is And I know John, I know, I know
is it John John M I know him as well too.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
He put in two original saws on that bitch she
gets And but I'm like, why do you think that is?
Speaker 3 (48:30):
Why do you think I thought I don't know would
have got the best bring actress because honestly she's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
She ate that roll up.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Cynthia wrote that role. Like I thought they at least
got acting nominations for sure, and and I mean maybe
for adaptation, like it was a great adaptation, Like I
don't yeah, I I could not tell you it's giving. No,
it's giving to me. It's giving that like this was
dare I say it? The show was to justice, the
(49:00):
movies to Justice focused, to Justice, focused about should have
fixed the lining Joey's popping up and the jack on Joey.
I think it's giving to justice focused in the world
that doesn't want to discuss racism, right racism. I think
(49:21):
I think I think it was like I think it
was like two whimsical on too free for for this country.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
Yeah, they say, I am Like, I also think having
a black al baba, I think I think that also
probably played a role in it too, Like I think
it was, like I do believe, yeah, I do believe
that if if if if was white.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Is it is it? Am I saying around Ela whoever
know who.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
There talking about Joey just typed alphaba as if that
made a difference nunciation.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
His name, Yeah, John the Green Lady.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
If the Green Lady was white, I do believe that
the people would have viewed and dare I also say
that if John Chu was a white man, I think
that this story would have been received differently. But I
definitely do believe that race, Like you said, racism is
gonna always and trump, and I use that intentionly. It's
(50:28):
gonna always trump creativity in this industry, so that fucking sucks.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
The next one is Begogna. I mean, did you do what?
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Okay, listen, Did I love the film? I can't say that.
Do I think the score was fantastic? I do because
it was dramatic.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
It was a dramatic ass film. Do I think I'm
a Stone eight acting?
Speaker 3 (50:52):
She did?
Speaker 2 (50:52):
She did? She did?
Speaker 3 (50:54):
Like I won't say I love the film. No, I
would say it's a fil movie. It's not my film,
and a movie.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
Because like the film, like a film is like art
and movie is like fun.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
To me, it was a film. It was artistic. It's
not my type of art. The score was great and
and beautiful gallance and Emma Stone fucking ate that role
because the twist at the end.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
I said when she got in that closet, I said, oh,
that was literally the only part of the film that
actually made me go okay, all right, okay, I.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
Was I was goomed because I was like, bitches out
here like like she is giving in to the madness,
and I was like.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
Oh yeah, gooped. Oh So I will say I think
that that those two nons were deserve, were deserved. Yeah,
I love Came.
Speaker 3 (51:43):
Hunger's got two nominations, at least one for Best Song
and one for h So everyone keeps saying it's good.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
I might, and this is a big might. I might
entertain watching it this weekend. If I think you might.
Speaker 3 (52:01):
Like I think you might like it, Like it has
all the well do you like musicals in general?
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Not really, but I loved it, but I did enjoy Barrier. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
I think it's all of you. If you don't love animation,
I think you. I think you still might like it.
I just I.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Struggle with K pop because a lot of K pop
is no high friend. Uh things happen. A lot of
K pop is racist to me, and so that's why
I tend to kind of like that's fair that I
tend to be like, I don't think I want anything
to do with this that's not untrue. So so that's
(52:44):
that was part of me. When I saw K pop,
I was like, no, not for It's not for me, babes,
it's not for me, but I will.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
No, what is it? I could not talk. It's like
a spin off of Hamlet, but Hamnut. But it got
a lot nominations.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
Okay, So in jen it dramatizes the family life of
Shakespeare and his wife Agnes Howthaway.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Oh, interesting with Paul.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Is Shakespeare a real person? Do you feel like he
is a mythical person? I feel like he's like the Bible.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
No, Shakespeare is real.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Producer is going off in the comments, and he was
asking that. I don't know why. I feel like Shakespeare
is like the Bible. Nobody can prove that he's just died.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
There's there is there's literally well.
Speaker 3 (53:37):
I'm like like there's like there's like there's like literal
images of him. But but I guess I don't want
to say portraits because it's no one had pictures, so
I guess like pinkings of him, but like like he
he truly did, he truly did right, he wrote all
these plays?
Speaker 2 (53:51):
Like who wrote the play said.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
I don't know, you know what, I just don't believe
he's real.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I might smell is.
Speaker 3 (54:02):
Like, baby, you're cooking somebody else entally different is like
I can't swatch you cooking.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
I'm not please, Like I mean, I'm just saying, yes,
he's real.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
There's a bunch of conspiracy theories that he didn't he
actually write his place. That's what I'm saying. I feel
like he's like the Bible. He is a I feel
like Shakespeare was like a what do you call that?
I believe that as a common belief, says our producer.
But I don't believe he existed.
Speaker 2 (54:32):
I'm every shad at me.
Speaker 1 (54:35):
I'm pretty sure. I just don't believe he's real. I
don't believe he's a real person.
Speaker 2 (54:42):
Anyway, let's move on.
Speaker 1 (54:43):
We gotta move on. I did not see him that
I probably never will because I have not. I don't
even like ul what's the other one? Julia and Romeo
and Juliet never never but not tell you the first
of what what it?
Speaker 2 (54:58):
What it is about? What happens.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
I just know Mama Drake something to die. That's all
I know. But other than that, no, I'll probably never
watch that. Now, let's get to the star of the
Oscars sixty. So from what I understand, and please correct
us if we're wrong, Sinners is the most film. Is
the film to ever be nominated the most category?
Speaker 2 (55:22):
Yeah? Ever sixteen categories? Right, so it was fourteen and that's.
Speaker 3 (55:26):
By two, So sixteen and basically almost every category they
have a nomination for.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
You know, some white director's booty hole is itch and
honey because they are pissed. Sixteen noms history making. But
let's talk about it. So my other part, I was
gonna say, and this is what I said in our
pre show part.
Speaker 2 (55:43):
Fifty percent of me.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Is like, yay, let's dance, let's party. But the other
sixteen the other fifty percent of me is like, I
think these niggas gonna play in our face. So I
was gonna say, I think, like I guess the other
fifty percent of me is like, I know that these
niggas are gonna pull a fast one on us. Yeah,
and he's only gonna walk away with maybe like best
(56:05):
song or best costume.
Speaker 2 (56:06):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (56:07):
So I'm so I'm I'm praying that he walks away
with more specifically, and I always say her name wrong
Woomy or Woomy. I think it's her name. I know
she's not nominated as well for Best Supporting Actress, and
yeah she is, and so I'm I'm rooting for her
(56:28):
to win more than anything but Delroy Lindo. He finally
got his nomination, which he's discussed. So best Song, Yeah, yeah, score,
it got the skinner the Center's score. I think specifically,
I want to shout out, I lie to you.
Speaker 2 (56:49):
Yeah hmmm.
Speaker 1 (56:51):
I just I rewatched Centers this weekend, and it was
just every time I watch it, it gets better. It's
one of those films that every time you watch it,
you catch something different and you there's just a certain score.
The music adds to the layer of of how fucking
fantastic this song?
Speaker 2 (57:10):
And does can I can?
Speaker 1 (57:12):
I just if I can tangent real quick, I want
to say, like a lot of people didn't know so
like pick poor Robin Clean, Like I didn't know that
was one of the things that made me love the
music in the film that much more. I didn't know
that that was an old black folks song about black
people robbing white folks for basically things.
Speaker 2 (57:31):
That they needed.
Speaker 1 (57:32):
And so in the film, having the Vampire sing that
song kind of as like, look at us, We're one
of you, We're part of us. It was they were
speaking to the ways that white people come in and
take our music and take our culture and repackage it
and resell it back to us as a way for
them to like infiltrate black spaces. So it just fucking
(57:54):
Ryan Coogler's mind. Like, I don't even go up for
directors and producers or writers like that, but Ryan Coogler
is a fucking genius.
Speaker 2 (58:02):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
I like, there's not enough like yeah, and even Michael B. George,
I know, I'm giving him a lot too. Like Michael B.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
I don't think he's a good actor. I don't.
Speaker 1 (58:11):
I've always said, I think I've gone on record to
say he is not one of my favorite actors. I
put him in the same category as Timothy Shallow that
Shallatte boy him and Timothy Shalla May they are the
same caliber of acting.
Speaker 2 (58:26):
But Michael he he he, he did he did that.
He like.
Speaker 1 (58:31):
I watched Cinners and I'm like, yeah, Michael ate in
all three of those roles. He ate and all three
of them. And for people who are like John, why
are the three roles. Honey, he took on the vampire
role after he was killed, so that's a third role.
And the fact that he played three roles and just it. Yes,
he deserves best actor.
Speaker 2 (58:50):
He just does. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (58:52):
I know I've hogged this this segment or this this part,
but I I cannot not fawn over my left for Sinners.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
Did you Joy Sinners? I'm sorry I blacked out after
you said that you think Michel Juran is not a
good actor. Oh okay, how about that.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
I said, you just said you disassociated m I was like,
but yeah, yeah, I just I it's not to say
that I don't think that it's not I don't think
that he's a great actor. I just don't think that
he I think he needs more time. I up to
(59:29):
this point, I was in the mind of he needs
a role that is going to challenge him more, and
this role did that for me. So can I say
he's a good actor now?
Speaker 2 (59:38):
Oh? Yes, Sinners? I did it hurt, But before I
was not.
Speaker 3 (59:44):
I've said I've only said it twice, like and like,
I'm not a person who needs to see things like
there's some reason I'll watch it over over again. But
I think like when it comes to films, like films, right,
there are art I can't watch. I can't watch more
than two or three times because then I feel like
I don't like it's it comes hard for me to
like to like absorbed it again. But I like, I
thought Singers was a fantastic film, Like I I think
(01:00:08):
some people say masterpiece.
Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
I don't. I would say a masterpiece.
Speaker 4 (01:00:11):
I think like, I think like I think, I mean
like like and I I like I I see why,
like I see why and I and I agree that
there are a lot of parts of it that that
is a masterpiece.
Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
I think it.
Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
I but like, I don't like like, I think Ryan
Cooler like will have more masterpiece films. Oh yeah, like,
I like, I don't think this is him. I don't
think this is his. I don't think this is his.
Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Like like magnum opis right, Like, I don't think this
is his magnum Opus, I think, but I think this
is like one of this is one of the best
ones of.
Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
Last year entirely.
Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
Yeah, I loved it, and I and like and I
honestly probably will probably will watch again soon a half time.
It's a long movie, but like the score of the soundtrack.
I'm happy I would. I wasn't sure if the woman
you were saying when women Masaku, I wasn't sure shet nominate.
(01:01:05):
Because I saw Dell, I was like, well, why is
she nominate? I'm glad she was because she was fantastic
as well too, like every person that in that film
was fantastic. So I mean, deserve to win, deserve to
all the nominations, deserves to win. We'll see what happens. Yeah,
I pray round Cougar at least wins best directing. The
actors all win their awards, because I think they deserve
to get the accolades at TA deserve for their work. Well, okay,
(01:01:30):
so I'll just say, if y'all have to talk about
the Oscar noms, please let us know. Please, if you're
if you if you are winning with with with bated
breath about what's gonna happen, let us know. For now
we have to take one more break and move back
with your Heiritement's gonna know on hands in just a moment.
Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
All right, y'all.
Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
So with that being said, we are now to the
segment that y'all absolutely love, and a door it's our
yes ma'am and our no mam s fort this week
and this week mine are like said, very simple, straight
to the point. This week, my yes ma'am, I am
wanting to shout out all of my friends who are
doing HIV prevention work, namely now again, I am a doctor,
(01:02:13):
but I also struggle with how to say things.
Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
So it is Lana cap of vier. Is that right,
Lana cap of her?
Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
Possibly, I don't know how to say either, but I'm like,
it makes sense, okay, yeah, Len a cap of er.
Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
I mean like it.
Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Sounds like correct what you're saying, Lana cap of her Okay.
So basically, it's an HIV prevention drug. And I know
my friend works for one of the companies who does
a lot of HIV prevention work, and so he was
he was celebrating it in our in our group chat.
Shout out to him, and so I just definitely just
want to say, I'm in this age or in this
(01:02:52):
moment where our government is actively taking funding away for
HIV prevention and HIV work. It's itself to see that
they're still making strides to help people living with HIV
and thriving with HIV. It just it makes me very
very happy. So I definitely just wanted to say that
they're there. The article that I did read it was
an article in The Advocate. They were saying that there's
(01:03:14):
still a lot of it still has a very long
way to go before it actually becomes something that folks
can actually put their hands on. It's like a twenty
thousand dollars injection basically, and oh wow, we still have
a very long way to go. But the fact that
it actually exists and that it's and that the studies
is or not even studies, but like the folks who
are who are using it, it's showing that it's working
(01:03:36):
to help people with HIV. It just it means so
much to me to see that. So I'm really happy
about that. My noman Pam this week. People who continue
to think the word fat is a bad word, I
just baby, can we please move on? Like folks thinking
goops is going And I namely say that because, like
(01:03:57):
I said, I'm I'm currently working on a project and
and as I'm thinking about the ways we're talking about
fat people and fatness itself, there's just this whole thing
of like people thinking that goop ones are going to
change their life. And what I mean by that is that, yes,
it will, Like I will. I will go on record
and say being on Ozempic has changed my life. I
(01:04:19):
can eat what I want to eat. I can eat
what I want to eat when I want to eat it.
I can't eat a lot of it, right, but I
can still have a piece of a donut. I can
still have a soda. I can still like and my
sugar doesn't shoot up and I don't feel like I
want to pass out right. I appreciate that ozempic has
helped me. I get less cravings for sugar, which which
I love. I love knowing that I'm not craving sugar
(01:04:41):
the way that I used to crave sugar like for me,
like I would wake up every morning being like I
want a frappuccino. Every morning I wanted a frappuccino, and
now I don't. I think frappuccinos are gross. It. It
has helped me regulate a lot of my relationship with food.
But what I will say is that people think getting
on a GOP and then losing the weight is going
to change their life. And I'm here to tell you
(01:05:01):
that losing weight is not going to change your life, sweetheart,
You doing the work mentally, physically and emotionally if you
want to work out and you want to lose weight
and you want to feel better that way, and you
want to work with a therapist to say I want
to feel better in the body that I'm in. Okay, baby,
I'm here to have that conversation with you. But folks
like Oprah who are celebrating golps as if they're like
(01:05:22):
the conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
But folks like.
Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
Oprah who's baby baby like that is not a bad word. Yeah,
these golps are not going to change your life. They
lose the weight, but I can guarantee you, as someone
who has been on the roller coaster of weight loss,
you will end up hating something about yourself even after
you lose all the weight. So do the work, honey,
(01:05:45):
mentally and emotionally. What are your yes, ma'am's and no
mams for this sution, my s men for this week one,
I will espim creating change like it really is the
most interesting conference I've been to thus far, like in
the conferences I've gone to, just in terms of like
the people who are hearing what they all do and
how they show up in the world, like powerful conversations,
(01:06:06):
dramatic conversations. I'm really good experiences. So I'm really loving
this so far. For sure, No Man, Pam is going
to be I think it's just gonna be.
Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Like along along the lines of the people that I hear.
I think there are some instances where like there's like,
for example, I was in I was in like a
session and one of the like someone was just like
being such a Karen essentially. I was like, I was like, damn,
(01:06:39):
even in court transplaces, the white person's gonna white stale
like and that's just seeing That's just that's just what
it is.
Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
And so coromal tractor t.
Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
Bitch. Oh I wish we got into that because that
is just wild stuff. Yeah yeah, So you know it's like,
no man, Pam is just like tell the folks who
even in space that we're trying to be expensive and abundant.
They're still trying to be restrictive with their ideals and
with their beliefs, like just be just like think bigger, girl,
(01:07:12):
think bigger, think bigger.
Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
You gotta think big, bitch you think.
Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I definitely feel
that it's always something. It's gonna always be somebody and
the same thing. Even even last week, like I said,
was in one of the best conferences, there was still
somebody who was complaining about something. I said, Girl, you
always find somebody who's gonna find a reason to be
upset about something because they just want to be heard.
(01:07:39):
And sometimes it's like, maybe do you do you just
you just need a therapist, honey.
Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
That's what you just need to be heard. That's really
what it comes down to. You just need to be heard.
Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
But anyway, all that to be said, we are so
thankful for y'all listening. Please send your thoughts over to
us Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com. Our email is looking
very lonely these days, so yeah, yeah, I mean what
we do, what what do we have to do to
get people to email us? That is the questing you
(01:08:08):
to be seen in green. We would love to be
seen in green. So we want to hear from you,
even if it's a simple one sentence, two sentence.
Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Just send us something, honey.
Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Like we we do this podcast for you. You send
us your thoughts via social media if that's easier for you.
We are on threads, we are on Instagram. I'm on Spiel.
You can send me a message on Spiel. You can
also send us an email on Facebook, so check all
of them. So yeah, send us, send us something at
Black Fatfelm Pod. My dear, where can the dolls find you?
Speaker 3 (01:08:39):
As always my loves, you can find me at Jehodann's
across all socials, upside your Nails dot com.
Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
If not there, you will find me somewhere where there's heat.
Because I do not like to.
Speaker 3 (01:08:51):
I always say I'd rather be cold and hot, but
this week has proven to me that's not true. Why
I'd rather be just temperate.
Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
I'd rather be comfortable, bitch. I'd rather be comfortable. That's it.
Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
A good, a good sixty seven sixty eight with a blanket, girl,
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:09:10):
That's what I need. That's what I.
Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
Need, with a good with a good blanket. Who you
said when you said twenty four? I said, oh no, man,
I said that was God telling me not to go
this year, because I was like, ain't.
Speaker 2 (01:09:22):
No way, and I read the frankly, he ain't no way,
reezing my ass, ain't no way. My friend is in Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
She just sent me a text and she said it
is five degrees where she is and I just I can't.
I can't even think about it. I can't even think
about it. But anyway, all that to be said on
my end on socials. You can find me at doctor
John Paul online ww dot doctor John Paul dot com,
where you can learn more about my consulting because it's
open gear okay, my books catch it, and where I
(01:09:53):
will be in the coming weeks. I wanted to shout
out and say I wanted to shout out drunk Black History.
Thank you for inviting me. I will be down to
the Allisian Theater on February twenty first giving a quick
black run through of Polly Murray.
Speaker 2 (01:10:09):
I got asked to.
Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
Do the.
Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
Jamila limur Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:10:14):
Jamila Lemaru asked me to be her co buddy in
the work of doing drunk. Yes, so I will be
down there on February twenty first. You can find out
more down to the Allegian Theater website, things like w
Allisiantheater dot com.
Speaker 2 (01:10:32):
It's only fifteen dollars.
Speaker 1 (01:10:34):
So if you can go to Starbucks and you can
get you a drink, you can get you a ham
and cheese croissant. You can come see me do drunk
Black History. I will not be drunk because I do
not drink, but I know others will be there who
will be so it will be a good time either way,
because you know I'm a.
Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
Good key key.
Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
If you want to see me on Hulu, watch who
am I meant to be? Where I talk all the
magic of the show and how amazing it is to
have a partner like Joe, asked my co host, And so.
Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
Yeah, that's it, honey, has been another show. Stay black,
fatfem and fabulous and remember what Joe hot.
Speaker 3 (01:11:08):
We may not be a cup of tea girl, but
drinking some rainbow water bish because you need to be
fabulous and stay gay as much.
Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
As you can this world. Is rainbow water a real thing?
It's not, But I'm making a real thing today. I
know that.
Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Okay, that is Joe hoe Coin that I bet not
see nobody here trying to stell it.
Speaker 2 (01:11:27):
I see y'all next.
Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
Week, Love you bye.
Speaker 3 (01:11:35):
The Black Fatfem podcast is executive produced by Joey Patt
and doctor John Paul.
Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
All content related to the show is edited by Chris Rogers.
Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
This has been a podcast by iHeartMedia and Doctor John
Paul LLC the Black Fat FIM podcasts, where all the
intersections of a dandy are celebrated. Honey, I know that's right,
You're listening to the BFF Blackfeffim podcasts and the iHeart
podcast Network. Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of the
Blackfeffem podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated.
I am one of your hosts, John also known as
Doctor John Paul, and I just want to say, as
someone who purports themselves to be a donut connoisseur, please
(00:25):
note that when I say I want a donut, I
am not talking about Duncan donuts. Okay, I just want
to make it very clear, because there is nothing. They
only have one donut, which is often never there. They
never have it.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
They have.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
The only donut that I would eat from Duncan is
the Cruler. Other than that, every other doughnut they have
is nasty. It's the cruler. Crulers are the little ones
that are like, oh yes, and they're really soft on
the inside. That's the only donut I ever really want
from them. But a lot of people like to be like, oh,
Duncan is so good good, Where is the good in
(01:00):
the room with us? Because I have never had a
donkey donut that has made me go ooh, this is
tasty outside of that cruler.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
So I just want to say that for.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Anyone who listens, who knows me, that if you're ever
gonna see me and we're gonna be out passing, don't
ever offer me a donkey donut because it's nasty. Now,
what I will say is this for people who ask John,
what is a good donut? If you are from southern California,
Randy's donuts our top tier. I don't care what anyone says.
Randy's donut is the donut of all the donuts. Then
(01:31):
that you can give me a sidecar donut.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Have you ever had sid car? I have I had?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes, Yes, they're the more fancy or more expensive, fantastic.
Or you could just give me a regular pink box
donut from one of your corner donut chops, like, girl,
the pink.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Box donut where they fry chicken too. Yes, if you know.
If you don't, I've never.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Asked this question for you, girl, what's your what's your
favorite kind of donut?
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm an old fashioned type of bitch. I love me
old fashion.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Is it buttermilk? You like a buttermilk bar? So they're like.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
They're like they're they're the circular ones, but the like
like the rings with like crumbling edges.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
They're like gears. They're like gears. That ship. I know
what you're talking about. Bomb not in a maple bar.
Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
A twist to a twist, could give it. Oh shake
your titties, honey, because girl twist.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
You want twist? Mam, you want to twist? Yes? Yes,
but how are you my love? Okay?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
First of all, I'm just I'm gonna hold y'all. I
cannotop looking at myself right now. First of all, this
shirt with the little it's giving with the gold chain,
bitch that's.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Like off white little like like every moment.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Cute the hair, baby, get into the hair. Yes, the
hair is cute. The brows are browing, but you needs
bowtops me when you got braids. But you also are black,
so I mean wow, I mean wake that ship up
with the book.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
People are.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
People have been like it's feels great. Do you do
botok So I'm like no, like there's no faking way,
And I'm like no, I don't. You're black and my
list my lips are good too, like oh I look
this week girl.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I don't crack and don't chi that's my favorite. Ku,
You're right, my travel don't chip okay.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I am, y'all, Isia Bessie joho ak Jordan Jordan aka Joho.
I am in d C currently, which is really really cold.
It's called as the hell on these streets. Y'all, I
realize I'm not built for this. I'm here for the
Creating Change Conference, which is really amazing, incredible, and we'll
talk about the conferences.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
In our in our in our main air main segment.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
But y'all, but I got here and it was twenty
two degrees. And let me tell you, Like grow up
in the Bay, it could it would get a twenty seven.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Degrees in winter time.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
So I'm not like, I'm it's not foreign to me.
But now I'm San Diego and now it's it's different.
Like now as I get cold and the and the
windshield and the art, it's like it's arctic. So I
was like this, like a guy here, I said, bitch,
I'm freezing today.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I walked.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I think I walked to the because I'm staying at Airbnb,
not at the hotel.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
So I walked.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
It was like a ten minute walk and it's like
forty degrees. I'thing like with a swarterner jacket. I feel good.
I can work with that right. But on Saturday, so
also I I we have to see if I if I
make it out of here or not because mostly.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Sunday storm it's a snow snowstorm day.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So I don't know if we can go back Saturday
or just stay longer get snowted. I have no idea yet,
but Saturday, the high the high is seventeen and the
low is I think seven.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Nope, y'all could keep that. Y'all could keep that.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Shout out to our DC listeners because I know that
there are a few of y'all who listen, and there
are and y'all quite a few stuns.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Yeah, aren't Daniels aren't you sure FFM podcast the award?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Then let's talk about it for those of you who
are watching.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And when today someone say it was like I walk
by this, excuse me, aren't you a celebrity? I was like, no,
They're like, aren't you the coach of a warning podcast?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
That was like and I was like, who sent you?
Who sent you? Bitch? That's why? Okay, point to one.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And then I mess when ilse who I we have
follow each other this morning and then I saw my
again and they're like, bitch, I know exactly who the
fuck you are. You and John, y'all do that ship
and that's.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
That you know that. Yes, send my love to everybody there.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I said I couldn't show there this week because obviously
y'all know, mother's back in the classroom when she got classes.
There was no way I was gonna be able to
kind of swing being able to be at two conferences
in the same like, in the same month. But with
that being said, I'm so happy you're there. I'm happy
er they're representing the show.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Shout out.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I just definitely want to say this before we go
into our show. Out out to those who have sent
so many amazing messages and so many uplifting comments about
our wins. I think what folks don't seem to get
is that and this is why it's such a big
deal that we constantly keep saying that this show is
an award winning show, because what folks don't know is
most black podcasts, most black queer podcasts, most queer podcasts
(06:21):
don't get the celebration or get the light that they deserve,
and a lot of them in very quickly and so
for us to be on the air for five years,
actually this is our fifth year. For this show to
be on the air for five years, for us to
be almost at two hundred episodes, for us to have
three awards and one Webby honored, being honored by the
(06:43):
web There's just there's something to be said, and we
have to have that in order for us to keep going.
So thank you to everybody who sees it. Thank you
for everybody who sees it for us, we are very grateful,
and yes, thank you for loving on us. So let's
beat this up. Let's go ahead and move into our
still here segment. Y'all know that this is where we
give miss Tcha Campbell her flowers. Speaking of Tcha Camble,
(07:06):
she has a new movie coming out that actually looked
really fucking good.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
She's met me happy movie on life.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So I wanted to shout her out because the clip
I saw, she ate down every single scene that she
was in and I was like, Okay, Tisha, she back
to her real acting.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
So I want to give her her flowers.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
We love her, so proud of her, and I'm very
happy that she is ultimately out here shining and thriving.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
But with that being.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Said, I just got back as we were talking about
and we're gonna be talking more about conferences in a second.
I just got back from fat Con, where I had
a glorious fat ass time. I wanted to ask you.
And this is also partly too selfish, because as you know,
I'm currently working on a project that is very fat
centered and really thinking about this idea. And this is
(07:53):
where kind of the conversation started, or I would say
it was extended. Was that fat Con asking the question
to set the stage for going to be talking about
more in this episode. I want to talk about the age,
but one specific I wanted to ask you the question
being in the age of o Zimpic and folks, in
my opinion, I don't know if it's your opinion, but
I know it's my opinion, and I will fully take
(08:15):
whatever tomatoes people throw at me. There are a lot
of folks who are using glps for the wrong reason, right.
There are folks who need golps right in order to
regulate whatever they're dealing with, But there are some folks
who are just doing it out of sheer vanity. I
wanted to ask you, how are you glorifying that, whether
it be at this conference, whether it be in your life,
(08:35):
whether it be date your day to day, I'll go
ahead and share with you my thoughts and we'll go
ahead and jump to you. So first I wanted to
say shout out. I just want to say, I mean,
I can't shut up about it because I honestly, and
again we're going to talk more about this. I've never
been to a conference where I didn't want to leave,
if that makes sense. Like I actually was really fucking
sad on the Sunday when I had to like pack
(08:58):
up my stuff, and like it just it felt it
was literally very like it literally uplifted me in a way.
And so I don't know if anyone who's listening to this,
if you've ever heard of fat Con, it happened in
Seattle every year, please go. Like I'm hoping me and
you Joho can go next year together that that would.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Be such an amazing thing.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
But anyway, I want to say that I went into
that conference with very little expectations because honestly, I hate conferences,
and I'm going to talk more about that later. But
coming home, I felt like the conference really helped me
understand the not only just the next chapter of the
work that I have to do, both emotionally, personally and professionally.
But I also think that it helped me understand what
(09:40):
platform we have to encourage folks, specifically male presenting or
mass presenting folks, what it means to struggle with disorder
eating and body dysmorphia. And I also want to say,
like shout out to our producer, because that was one
of the things we were talking about before we came
into the show. We were talking about how a lot
of folks talk about eating disorders, or they talk around
eating this, or or they even talk around fat, but
(10:01):
they never talk about what.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Causes these things.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
It was really cool to be in a space where
I could openly say, yeah, I had an eating disorder
and this is what cost it, or for someone else
to say, I'm still struggling with my eating disorder and
these are all the reasons why.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
And so it just that really helped.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
But what I also say is, I know we dance
a lot around the idea or the concerted effort of
going forward in terms of like fat justice and things,
but I really think when we talk about how I
glorifying it, I really think that speaking directly to it
really speaking about you or even naming and I know
we've done this and obviously, like I said, we're in
(10:38):
episode one hundred and eighty seven, we talked about there's
no way for us to talk about fatness without talking
about racial issues or talking about oppression or talking about transphobia,
because they're all interlocked.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
And so I think.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
That's gonna also be a big crux of a lot
of what I write, hint, hint and create in the
next couple of months. Last year, I want fat people
to be seen as more than someone who is vying
to love themselves and struggling to do so. And I
even posted this I'm sick of like I wish there
was like I wish we could celebrate Lizo for Lizzo
being Lizzo and how talented Lizo is. Like every time
(11:15):
it's always tied back to her weight, and I'm sick
of it. And so it's like I just I think
I want the world to see as this whole people
pun intended who are literally happy, full and healed, Like
not every fat person you speak to is going through
something or hates their body or hates where they are
in life.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Like we are happily, we are happily healed.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
People like we're just fat and we're like if you
left us alone, we'd be one hundred and ten percent good.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
So yeah, so how are you glorifying fat?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You know, I'm thinking about this, especially after you hear
if you saw Amber Riley's stories recently kind of yeah,
a full story. Yes, we're this person, this person like
Bay basis per and like Amber was just as existing
in life, went to see a friend for brunch, right,
(12:06):
maybe you dress a bit more like maybe like dressed
like like a bit more mask right.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
And the and like.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And there's like this person like like kept this dude
like can make your uncomfortable, like was like making mos
about like about about her fatness like like like was
like was being home a public Twitter as well too.
It was just a lot of things, right, And so
I'm thinking about this as you asked this question about
how you go glorifying fat because like just existing on
(12:36):
public as a fat person to some people is there
is they feel like you're glorifying fat.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Right, Like how dare you be fat in public?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I think a lot about when I fly, right, especially
if I'm gonna fly coach or economy and I'm sitting
right in these cramped seats, I'm worried, Like I worry
about the.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Person next to me.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Are they gonna be like oh this fat bite? But
the part of me is like like like like well,
I mean, I mean I'm suffering too out in the day,
But like why like why like why are we not
pointing out the systems that put us in these positions?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Right?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Like why aren't we pointing at the systems of an
airplane that was designed for thin people to make the
most money and not designed for actual comfort for anybody?
Because like no one's actually comfortable, Like no one actually
likes someone to go see regardless, right, So like you know,
like what like I get there would be maybe may
maybe be anti capitalist, Like what'd you to design a
plane everyone has two seasons seats but fit more patients
(13:33):
for each for each person, Like how amazing that would be?
And so I think I'm thinking about that, Like I'm
glorifying fat by constantly challenging policies and systems around me
to say, let's stop blaming the fat person for being fat,
but then the systems that oppress them for being fat
in the first place, and and and the systems that
that glorify thinness, Like we should dissess the systems that
(13:55):
make you believe that thin is the best thing you
should be in the world, because like that is not
the end I'll be for me, and that is nothing,
and that I'll be all for Like that's not like
I think people want to aspire to change your bodies.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
They should.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I like my right, my vision of liberation that people
can do whatever they want with their bodies, but we shouldn't,
Like we should not be moving as if being thing
is going to save save you and solve all your
problems in the world.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
It doesn't.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
And I think my right, might I glorify fat by
saying I actually can build a life I want to
build as a fat person, Like I can live in
amazing life, and like my faintness doesn't prohibit me from
living that life or prohibits me. Is the structures around
me that are designed to make me feel prohibited in
the first place. And so I really want, like I
(14:41):
I think I push that thinking, and that to some
people is glorifying fatness, But to me, it's actually about
glorifying accessibility for all people, because everyone should be able
to access life and live life in meaningful way regardless
of regardless of what they look like, or whether regardless
of what they look like or like like or what
their abilities are. And that's why I think people to
think about more. And then and then I'm also you know,
(15:04):
I think a lot about like uh like like centering fatness.
Like I will say in this conference right now, right
there's like a lot of these sessions.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
The chairs are closed.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Together and I'm gonna still not fly right, like We're
trying get everyone in here, and I understand why, but
like why don't we like like how feel comfortable?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Right?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Fat folks don't have to apologize to taking up the space
when like the issue is actually the spacing of the
of the ballroom. Issue was spacing at the hotel like
like and I get it, right, Like it's easier about
the person than blame the designs, the systems and architectures
around us.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I'm really tired to blame.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
On people for just living right Like it's like it's
like it's I think, I'm I love, I love blameing
people for a lot of things, but like things that
they actually like are bad for, right, like being that
person in homophobia.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
One thing that Jordan is gonna do. She's gonna point
her finger, which no shade. But again, I one thing
I know about my sister is she is going to
point her finger at I.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I only fingers point. I don't fingers people that.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
That don't deserve to be point like like like I
point fingers at the bullshit that we have to experience,
right and so like stooing fingers as people startling fingers
are the things that keep us locked in these systems.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Right? Do you know what the cage bird sings? Girl?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I mean, and I'm not trappy in that gauge no more, bitch,
God damn, why is the burd in the cage? And
the goddamn way My husband said that. I was like,
who has birds? The point why in a cage?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Was asking why is the cage there in the first place?
The cage? I was asking, why is cage bird singing? No?
The bird what? What? What? What? The bird in the cage? Who?
And who has the cage? Who has the cage? Like
the key to the cage.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah, okay, tell me what you do successfully quickly, like
make it, make it put me, yes, we gotta but
you the cage, yes, even no you you I'm with
you when you write and when you right, you right,
right now, you are right. And so with that being said,
(17:10):
I agree with all of that, like we have to.
And I think that's the biggest thing, Like why are
we always blaming fat people for systems that they literally
are trying to survive? And these systems we're not built
for us in any capacity. And so yes, I just
I appreciate you naming that because I think that's one
of the things that we oftentimes overlook, is that these
(17:30):
systems are not built for us, and yet we continue
to keep thriving in them even though we shouldn't have to.
We shouldn't have to be in these systems at all.
But anyway, all that to be said, now that we've
given you a reason to glorify your obesit, we are
going to take a quick break and come back with
this category.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Okay, Sam, we are back, and this week we're keeping
it light considering all the things going on in the world.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Although it is a light, we'll find out, but more
because certain Johnson conference and I'm currently at.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
One, I thought it be cool to talk about the
pros and cons of conferences, which is so important and
why is this so important? Research the hell them for
you spend all that money to go or volunteer there more.
We're about to hit some conference seasons, right, shout with
the dolls listened to. The dogs who listened too, are
in student affairs who working on profit sectors? Right, and
this is the beginning of the year is all about
conference season, and honestly, no one talks about how playing
(18:23):
in your life around them.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Can be so damn stressful. And also some conferences are
just dumb, like.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Some are like about about asking what do you remember
what your first conference was? The things that live in
your mind went rent the things that live in your
mind rent free awesome for me on my first conferences
was focused on like when the first Big girl conference
was for this unphilanthropy and then this was eighteen. Black
Panther just came out, right, list of the scene. Black
(18:49):
Panther came out. Ryan Couler made a fantastic film. Everyone
loves Chadwick Boseman. Everyone's like, what conduff forever? Like people
are are doing this, like people love this shit. So
I know this why ask conference? And the theme is
finding Wakanda. Now wait a second, Chris, I hope you
entered a record scratch here because when I tell you,
(19:11):
there's no.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Where with this where I live now all oh.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I was like, this is interesting and so this the
organization does great work, for sure, But.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I was like, I was like, hearing a bunch of.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
White folks talk about or let me here much of
let me this, I'm here much a bunch of non
black folks discussed finding or building Wakanda anthropy felt so weird.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
And I was there, like is this really happy right now?
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Like no one's saying a damn thing. I was maybe
let's say, one of five black folks in the a
credit of like hundreds of people, And I was like,
are we all just gonna be like yes?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
And then like right, are we don't act like we
don't see this okay, okay okay, and like and like you.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Know, like the this is and like you and like
and like the closings that the closing Plinaria.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
The person's like and remember Wakanda Forever? What do you like?
Conda girl? Where do you have vibrating among you? Like?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
It was just so wild right and it was and
it was weird because it was my first my first
big girl commence, my first time in this in the
field that I'm working in, and I there are first
shops I appreciate. I was moved by philanthropy is an
agent of change. But the fact that this whole place
built itself. This year's theme off of finding a conduct
a black panther when it was not like, it wasn't
(20:33):
made for this audience was wild and that was my mind.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
That was my experience. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
You know, sometimes you gotta keep you gotta laugh to
keep keep from eye. My first conference was something called so,
I don't know, were you ever in ra when you
lived on when you were in school?
Speaker 2 (20:55):
No, you were never was. And I and I live
on campus.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Okay, Oh yeah, of course you didn't. Okay, and you
know what, you probably are better for it. So with
that said, I was very involved as a resident assistant.
I was a resident assistant. I am literally aging myself
from two thousand and four to two thousand and seven.
I was a resident assistant when I was in college.
And there's something called well specifically, there are different raps.
(21:21):
I don't know if the RAP is an acronym, and
if it is, I have no idea what the RAP
stands for. But there's different raps for different areas and
different segments of where you live, and so Southern RAP
considering that we are in southern California, was a thing
for all of the ras. And this is where all
the schools come together. This is where you're supposed to
have swat, You're supposed to be very like cheerful and prideful.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
And blah blah blah blah blah. And it was.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
It's basically it's like going to cheer For anybody who's
listened to this and has ever gone to cheer camp,
I know I haven't gone to cheer camp, but I've
heard stories of cheer camp. It's literally like going to
cheer camp for a day, and so it's awful. It
was awful, And I think that's honestly where my hatred
for conferences started, because it all feels so performative, and
(22:07):
I think for me was even more like alarming for me,
or at least when I think back on it as
I was putting this together, and I was like, damn,
I think like as I was thinking more about it,
For me, it was the idea of not only were
there just a ton of people who were trying to
be the smartest person in the room and trying to
be like the most creative, which is cool, right, if
that's your thing, go off. But I felt like black
(22:29):
people in the space were often left out of conversations,
like a lot of them kind of got looked over,
or their sessions weren't well attendant like moment and again
you probably know this too, like when you were younger,
when you see moments that are very steeped in racism
and oppression and you don't really know what the word is,
but you know what's happening. That's how I felt every
(22:49):
time I went to Southern rap and so I just
I always felt left out. And then over the years,
the opportunity came. Obviously, you all know I come from housing,
I come from student affairs, and so when I was
working in housing, some and asks me to schair the
same conference, and there was just this deep seated each
feeling that I had with thinking about ya, right, Like,
(23:10):
I just it literally always made me feel. So I
think that conference was kind of like it's set the
tone for me to start looking at conferences as like
this is some bullshit like and it's not to say
that there aren't good conferences obviously, Like I said, fat
Con is a great example of how conferences can be
done well. And I actually really want to get I
think that's what I'm gonna do after this. And this
(23:33):
is just a note tar to our our producers. I
would love to get Pucky on this show because Pucky
is the one who kind of does everything around fat
Con and really just talking about how do you create
a magical space for thousands of people? Right, That's literally
what what that con for me was. It was like, Wow,
this person has intentionally created a space where thousands of
(23:55):
people can literally just be themselves. And so but yeah,
that that conference really shit. A lot of the feelings
that I have of like I fucking hate any type
of oh do you want to come to this conference?
Not really like no shade unless you're paying me to
keynote it. I don't want to be there, Okay there. Yeah,
So that's just that, that's that's my thing. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(24:18):
it just it's kind of made me feel jaded.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Well you know, I'm thinking about like, like just to
this point, right, like, I like I thought about the
my first conference and the theme of peace and and
platforms not being involved in and I also thinking about
the other next CONTs I want to speaking about, like
about like using indigenous values. In invalanthe bringing, they had
(24:40):
this book that they dropped it I had read before
them before the conference, and I met the author and
I was like, this is like this is your book
is so fantastic.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
It's like transformative for me, and people like no, no,
no read the book.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
And I was sad because I was like, people are
taking their time at conferences to show up and deliver
something and you aren't actually doing the prep to do
it and demon traits right like like like listen, like
to me, sometimes the conferences are also vacations, like.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I I on the bitch.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
She was like a work trip sometimes also vacations you like,
I love to have fun work, but I also get
my work done and I and I and I and
I pay attention to things, and so I think also
I struggle with the folks who come and don't like
and don't wanna like interrogate what they're experiencing and like
how she like use what they're learning even even even
(25:29):
in this, even in this, even in this conference, like
I'm thinking a lot about there's some sessions that I went.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
To that was like this like like this is this
is this was the final problem you took. You took
this pitch and not the other bit. Okay, let's wake
that up.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Okay, Well, for for example, right like, for example, I
was in a session I'm about AI and the presenter
did not show up at all, and so there's somebody
there who did.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
They're they're like, oh, it's punny of that this happened.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I submitted, I pitched for an AVERSATIONA ied, so I
feel vindicated.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
And I was like, well I and I sid I
said well are you here now?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah, do it and she was like she was like
what And I was like you should do it, and
like the and like like like like people are like.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Oh are you are you a conference manager? And I
was like, no, girl, I'm just I'm I'm a rebel
round there. I'm just a girl. I'm stage coup.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
But being actually a great presentation, like they did a
fucking fantastic I.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Was like.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
To me to do it, okay, saying you should do
this girl, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Because that's because both of mine didn't get approved.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
They literally I'm curious. I'm curious of how things are reviewed, right,
question how things reviewed?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
And then and then and then I went to another
session today I was looking forward to.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
That was kind of like, yeah, that was the one
in our pre show you totals.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
No, that was not that one that it was another
one this damn Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Like, what what can I do successfully quickly? And so
I'm just like, huh, And so I said to say.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Right, like like I think people don't love conferences because.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Conferences because like I wonder how, I wonder how that
she does not right, it's not right?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Like if I if I just haned a conference, I'd
be really intense about who I have to speak and
like and I'd be like, let's are some prep sessions
so you know what you're doing and see what.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Because the cigarets are exactly exactly Yeah okay, so so
so also say, since you know, I think I think
you discussing what about not for included brings up the
good thought to examine, right could You've been vocal about
(27:58):
how much you love dot com and you know, and
I'm sharing about like how people who do good work
are left out of these college spaces and people who
do okay worker somehow.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
In I'm curious to ask you what made your experience
such a up, like, what are the mechanics of a
good conference for you?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Right?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
So, and this is the thing that I again as
I'm working on stuff, you know, I tell people one
of the biggest things for me that I loved about
fat Con is the idea that everything felt so intentional,
like even down to like the little nuanced things that
like people normally don't pay attention to.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Like.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
So, there were a lot of people at fat Con
who came in from Portland, Oregon, and they were like, oh,
I took amtrak. The Amtrak station was literally like maybe
four or five I'm being facetious when I say steps,
because it was it's a little bit of a walk,
but it's literally like from maybe like your kitchen to
your front door. Like that's literally the walk from the
Amtrak station to the actual hotel. So the idea that
(28:57):
someone would say, okay, well I have to think about
where a hotel is going to where are our stay
or where a hotel is going to be for people
who are coming you know, via amtrak, or even with
parking and all that, Like they like the parking. There
was myriads of parking for people who could who could
come in. There's little stuff like that that made me go, wow,
they really thought about this, Like they really genuinely thought
(29:18):
about fat people being safe and comfortable enough to walk
from the Amtrak station. Got it, you know, I think folks.
And then also like other people came in with different intentions,
like I'm not here. So I want to be clear
because I'm pretty sure that there are people who will
be at creating change who will be like, Okay, we
(29:39):
listened to your episode, and John, there's part of you
that's just get you know, salty that your your programs are,
that your pitches didn't get picked up. I am, I
will say, I am a little salty that didn't they
didn't get picked up because I know they were good, right,
I know what I pitched. I pitched two different things,
not trying to make this a caveat, but I pitched
one about working with black and brown kids in areas
(30:03):
that aren't friendly.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
To black and brown queer kids. Obviously that's my job.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
And then I pitched another one about why black queer
fat voices aren't necessary in media right now, like because
of everything that's happening.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
None of them got picked up, but I saale of that.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
To say, I genuinely loved that there were people. The
point that I'm trying to make is that the sessions
that I went to were very thought provoking for the time,
but also the people who were in those sessions weren't
trying to what's the word common deer, I think that's
the word I want to use the hundred dollars. They
(30:37):
weren't trying to commandeer the session to be like, I'm
the smartest person in the room and you have to
listen to me.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I was in a session full of.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
People who had social work degrees, including doctors, who were
talking about the conversation. The actual session was talking about
basically the ways that we can make therapists and make
people more cognitive of issue around fat people.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
And you would have.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Never known that there were people in there who had
like awards for their work that they've done around as
being a doctor for fat people, Like you would have
never known because they just genuinely were in the session
to listen and to hear and to learn, and so like,
for me, that's the thing that that often makes me
go like this is a great space because people are
not coming to the space to say, look at me,
(31:23):
I'm the smartest person in the room. They're coming to
the room to say there's something there might be something
here that may help me and my practice or help
other people i'm helping, and I want to I want
to take that information back with me when I'm done.
So that was one of the things I think for me,
I just I think. The last thing I'll say is
that I just felt like the entire three days I
(31:43):
was there, I felt safe and I don't I don't
know again, and I'm trying to do my best not
to reign on your conference experience there, but I will
say from my experience back in January of last year
when we were in Vegas, and I don't know how
much of it was Vegas, I don't know how much
of it was the location, I don't know how much
(32:03):
of it was the actual conference, but there were times
that I didn't feel emotionally and physically safe in different spaces,
and so it just even even again, I'm not gonna
name names, I'll name it off off the mic or
I'll text them to you, but there was a session
I went to and it was supposed to be celebrating
black queer people, and I didn't feel good the whole
(32:24):
time I was in that space, it just it did
not feel good for me. So I think for me,
you know, I just I definitely think that. I think
the biggest part for me is having a black woman.
I think seeing that a black woman is leading this
and seeing that people actually let the black woman lead
is what made me go, this is a bomb ass conference.
Because the people, specifically the white women who worked with her,
(32:48):
made it a point to always say, well, Pucky said this,
Pucky did this. They weren't trying to they weren't trying
to make it about them. They were very much trying
to keep it in the vision that Pucky had set
out out with. And you just I just felt it.
I just felt it through and through and maybe the
maybe the ancestors were with me there too, and maybe
was guiding me and my own journey and was probably
(33:10):
and that's probably what I felt was probably my own.
It was probably more me and maybe other people went
to fact KNA didn't have that experience, and I'm sorry
if that didn't happen for them. But I know for me,
I said, I cannot I'm like, I literally cannot wait
to fast forward till January of twenty twenty seven to
be there again, because just something about that experience was
so magical and so restorative and so uplifting for me.
(33:34):
I went in very much kind of like mah, whatever, girl,
and I left being like, Okay, I got this, I
got this, you know.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
So what I think, and I think there are there
are most multiple mechanics of a good conference. I think
like most conferences I go to are like one to
two days, which I think is too short for a conference, right,
Like that is.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Very much it's just networking.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
You're trying to hit all the shit and you're just
like like your time as thoughts, and I feel like
it's not time.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I like that you said yours is three days, so
I think that is actually a amount of time creating change.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
Is I mean almost a whole week, right, Like we're
here from two from we start Tuesday from are welcoming,
and then Wednesday the sessions. But like Wednesday, let's say
also persons like Wednesday through Saturday or full sessions, and
then Tuesday and Sunday are like half days, right, so
like five full days I think to me is a
little bit too long. Like I'm like Friday is a
(34:25):
long time. But you I said, I appreciate about it
is that you get the time. How she builds something
with people today conversation, you haven't time to build nothing.
So I think the mechanics of a good experience, Like
I know, my best conference I ever won to before
was also five days long, and you know, like like
it was also a very booge converce. Right, we all
we got like five star treatments. But like the idea
(34:46):
of having more time, I think built into a schedule
for you and to make time for others.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
And so I love that.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
I love creating and change because I'm loving seeing how
fucking queer this place is. Like they took a whole
hotel in Washington, d C. In this tired ass oppressed
regime and made it queer as fun and I think
it's really amazing.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Like I'm seeing folks and every presentation, every affectation.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Now, I will say a majority of folks here are
like are our BiPOL How about folks here?
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I think I think I think a fifth of folks
are traned.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Like the like like the the the the The demographics
are looking great here and I love that a lot.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
I appreciate.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
I love DC as a city, Like, I think it's
such a cool, interesting city.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
So I'm really loving this experience.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I wonder I wonder what feedback they got at the
last one and what they implemented into it this time.
I mean, I I have some intel because I know
some of the folks who are help producing it to
know a lot of attention went into this in a
different way than before, and it's really really good. I
do think what's interesting about this, right is that also
(35:58):
what a great way to demonstrate that queer folks have
different perspectives too, and that we actually aren't a monolith
and that like, like I was in session today where
I was really actually upset because somebody mane a comment about,
like about black folks from a different country, we're a
different area bridge in the world, not being allies in
the struggle for liberation, and I was like, I'm the
(36:21):
person and and I was, I was, if you aren't black,
do not say this, Like I was pissed, but I
was like, I'm holding I'm holding my by my tongue.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
But yeah, but I love that.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
What like, what I appreciate is that queer folks can
also come in and be messy and raggedy and amazing
and beautiful at the same time that we as corn
transportion also be probably problematic, and I think, right there
is space for us to also call each other in
and actually work things out together.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
I think that.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I'm definitely like, I'm definitely living with a great appreciation
of identity based conferences, right Like, I know people are
working like why a whole segment about conference conference culture,
But I think because there's a significance about community and
any based conversations happening at any base spaces, right Like,
the conferences are based off of my work sector. I
don't always love because it feels too like to work focused,
(37:17):
and this feels more like personality focus in personal focus,
I really appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
I think accessibility is a huge topic as well too.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
I love that you're saying that that fat con that
the that the transtation right was right next to where
the hotel was or where there even where the venue was.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Not to cut you off. Not to cut you off, babe.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
I was gonna also say too, like even from like
when you come down the elevator to go around the
corner to go up another elevator, the location was like
I mean, the event was there like you didn't have
to wet, weren't going far yeah miles, Yeah, you didn't
have to walk miles to get to your your sessions.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
It was everything was literally right there. It just everything out. Yeah.
I appreciating that.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
About this space too, because I mean the hotel is
a hotel, about the conference office all on one side,
and so like we're having to walk a little bit
but not like a mile to get to places.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
All of rooms are next to each other.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
But I am thinking about right, like I said earlier,
like there are fat folks, so how do we space
out the rooms actually people comfortable. I appreciate that every
bathroom and I've seen so far has been all made
to be gender neutral, right, even the ones with the urinals,
all the sounds or this is all generital and I
appreciate that. Right, It shows that QUT folks and coexist
of not having to fight over a bathroom or something
(38:27):
right because right, not the power bathroom.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
And I love that.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
So I think I think there are certain I think
I think right, these are the pieces that make a place,
specially when people feel good. I appreciate that every session
has feedbacks. You know, I led, I led it creentiated.
You have workshops, right, you have workshops which is like
an hour and a half of like New York Instruction Institution,
which is a whole day of instruction, and then caucuses
(38:51):
which will like get networking gathering spaces.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
And I hosted a multiracial caucus. I was like, asked, like,
last week, did I went to host one? And I
was like, I'll do it.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
And we had about twenty five people come, which I
was honestly like surprised, like I wasn't drawing me to
be and.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
I was, I was nervous.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
I was like, I don't know, I'm doing this my
first time being like presenter right at this type of conference.
And I think what I loved about what I did,
and I think people loved it because I got a
lot of it back saying how good it was was
that one I came in I was like and I
was like, I'm not here to tell you and be
prescriptives anything, right, Right, We're gonna do an engaging icepaker
that we're going to try out and people vibe with it.
We did like a speededating type experience everyone loved and
(39:27):
then halfway through I was like, we have about twenty
five minutes left.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Do we want to continue doing this? And one said yes.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
The one person was like, actually I love to do
like a a group share. And I was like, okay,
who's down for a group share? And then like and
like everyone was like great, like we're gonna talk about
and then I was like, okay, how about you all
give topics you want to discuss and we'll put them together.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
Like I like, I right, like I was in my
teacher facial to your back.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I wasn't trying to say let's do x y Z,
I said, let's I said, I said, let's let's take
let me take a note from you, because I think
your point right about there are probably experts in this
room has space to do so like people come in
are people are coming to be curious and learn something
they're and binding curiosity into them something from this, learn
from this, and you have such the opportunity to say,
(40:15):
let me also create a space where you can all
be curious together, and really and realized that right because
I never performed myself to be the expert of all
things motivatial, I did say is that I'm an expert facilitation.
I'm happy to guide us to a conversation, which I
did excellently. Let me let me, let me, let me
take directive from y'all, but you want to discuss. So
(40:37):
we had two topics and I and then and then,
and then I was like, listen, take ad time. We
can't do both of us to do them together, so
let's them together instead of them by to be a
boom or actually raise.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Someone was like, can we do this together?
Speaker 3 (40:47):
And I said great, We're gonna actually do them together,
and then said that way to step different topics and
that felt great, right, and so also call me in
about my like I had may have comment of like
stand up and do this, and people are like, we're
not ever going to stand and I was like no, what,
you're right. I also said speak up and I was
like not never can speak. So let me also like
call in myself of my ablest language. And I love
that they felt safe enough because right like they felt
(41:08):
have to say like hey, now everyone can do that.
I have to say you're right, right, because people don't
feel safe enough to agmit that they're wrong. And I
was like, you're right, that's my bad. Let me also
change how I approach this as well too, So I
think folks who love conferences or good conferences or put
on conferences, these are some things that you can think
about of what makes a good conference good for people? Yeah,
and what your transcaretarens can be better made for you
(41:31):
as a person who attend to the person who presents,
the person who runs it.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
I was gonna say, I, I'm appreciating everything that you're
sharing because obviously, like you're in the conference mind and
I know some people like I'll say this. When you
brought up let's talk about conferences for a segment, I
was like, yuck. I cringed a little because I've left
so many conferences in my lifetime thinking I found friends
or that I had a good experience, only to realize
(41:56):
that in some sessions or some spaces, folks were just
passing off try or trauma bonding. Right. It wasn't It
wasn't truly a moment for me to like learn it
was actually me processing efforts being like ooh lord, this
person took up all the space so that way they
could talk about their trauma.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Sad.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Right, So I think it is.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Important for folks to note, like when they go to conferences,
to go to conferences with intention same way, it's important
for the people who are putting on the conference to
be intentional.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
I think for.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Us who are educators, who are speakers, who want like
I mean even thinking get down to podcasters. Right, there
are people there's something called pod movement, right you can
go to it's a whole conference about podcasting. You know,
going to any conference, you have to really be intentional
in your mind about what you want to walk out
of that experience with. And you know, can I say
that last year I had some great experiences that create
(42:43):
and change how Yeah, I had a really good time,
you know when it came down to going to like
the ball and there were a whole bunch of other
things that happened throughout the throughout the week that I
thought was absolutely fantastic. And then there was a session
about you know, someone saying how do we do you know,
there was a whole one session that I really remember
that I took a lot from. Was someone talking about
(43:04):
the you know, twenty twenty five or the whatever, that
right wing movement whatever it's called. How do you like
how do you do it from a positive standpoint? Like
how do you counter everything that they're doing? That was fantastic.
That session was probably the best session that I went
to when I was there last year. But what I
will say is that it's like, again, that person who
put that presentation together was extremely intentional about what they
(43:26):
wanted folks to walk away from. And I think that's
the thing that people remiss, Like people oftentimes will go
to these conferences and will submit just for their ego.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
They're not submitting because they're trying to.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Help people become better at their careers or at their
their craft. And I know, for me, like that's why
I said when I submitted, I submitted it from the
lens of I want to help people who are on
the ground helping queer kids, and I submitted from I
want to help black queer people who are wanting to
get into media spaces and are having struggles or issues,
how do they navigate them right? Because I'm doing both,
(43:58):
like I'm using my platform to you both.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
And again it didn't happen, and it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
But when I say all of that to say, I
still know in my heart of hearts that it wasn't
an ego thing for me. It was I'm genuinely trying
to help people become better. But it is what it is.
But I do say this. I think it is extremely important.
This is the last thing I want to say, and
then we can skirt on. I think it is so
important for people to remember. And like you said, I'm overwhelmed.
When you go to a conference, it is okay for
(44:24):
you to go back up to your room, or for
you to go back to your airbnb, or for you
to go back to your car, or for you to
go home. For some of the people who live where
the conference is happening, go home because you cannot be
everywhere and do everything, even though there's a culture that
tells you you have to be at every session at
every time. All that folks are watching you.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Girl. No, Like I know, they did.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
A dance party at FATCN on Saturday, and where was I.
I was in my room watching him, his and hers
because I was tired. I said, no, I said, I
was in two sessions today. I was on a panel
and I spent three hours selling fifty books. I sold
forty three. I say, good, honey. I was like, I
literally have had like more conversation with one with multiple
(45:07):
people in a day that I have had in a month.
I was like, I am roasted, honey, I'm going to bed.
At seven thirty, I was getting where are you are
you coming to the party. No, I'm standing up in
my room. The party also didn't start tim nine thirty,
and I'm like, start to party at nine thirty, bitch,
I'm old. I'm going home. I was like, I love y'all,
(45:28):
but I gotta put me first.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Loocis. I was like, I can't do this. I'm going home.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
So like, I want folks to hear this and also
know like you don't have to always be I think
that's I guess that's the message, Like you don't always
have to be on and it is okay for you
to go to these conferences, you know, like my mama said,
eat the meat and spit out the bone, eat, take
what you could take, whatever else.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Leave it there. It is what it is.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
But I just like I said, from my heart to yours,
I hope the rest of your creating change is fantastic.
I hope you have a great experience. Hell, I hope
you meet the love of your life there. I really
want you to have a great time because I do
recognize that you know all of these conferences right now especially.
That's the reason why, like I said, why I'm so
happy that I got to go to fat com, Like
we need to be in community with other people, even
(46:11):
with the bullshit that comes with it.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
So I, y'all, now I'll be giving you some take
care of yourself between sessions or make an experience for
others or for yourself.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
We want to click break and come back with what's popped?
All right, y'all.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
So this wouldn't be BLACKFM if we were not gonna
give you a little bit of a pop culture moment.
So in our What's Popping this Week, we are going
to talk about By the time y'all hear this, it
will have been a couple of days since the Oscar
nominations have come out, but today we are recording on
the day that they dropped, and so we wanted to
kind of talk through what our thoughts are around it
(46:53):
and just really kind of give people an opportunity to
be like maybe.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
I should tune into the Oscars.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Or maybe I should should uh, maybe I should just
wait for the cliff notes that that'll come down with
threads or come down you know my Facebook feeds. So
with that being said, I wanted to kind of get
into each of these and just kind of get thoughts
on stuff. Maybe you saw it, maybe you didn't. Maybe
you saw the nominations and you said yes, yes, yes, yes,
(47:19):
or maybe you said.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
Girl, no, girl, no. So let's start, do we do
we want to start with?
Speaker 1 (47:27):
You know?
Speaker 2 (47:28):
So?
Speaker 1 (47:28):
I guess my question is do we want to talk
about the big one or do we just want to
kind of talk about the other ones and then go
into the big one.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
And let's do Let's do the small ones first, Okay,
so we'll start from the smaller ones.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Yeah, so first let's say, oh, do you want to Sorry, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
I think you're gonna start exactly where I'm gonna start.
That they shut out Wicked, which I think zilch. I
was like, and none for Christina They said none for Christina.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Girl. They said like nothing. Some are saying they're like,
are you serious? Girl? Like and oh I know this
like vibes No.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
That is And I know John, I know, I know
is it John John M I know him as well too.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
He put in two original saws on that bitch she
gets And but I'm like, why do you think that is?
Speaker 3 (48:30):
Why do you think I thought I don't know would
have got the best bring actress because honestly she's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
She ate that roll up.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Cynthia wrote that role. Like I thought they at least
got acting nominations for sure, and and I mean maybe
for adaptation, like it was a great adaptation, Like I
don't yeah, I I could not tell you it's giving. No,
it's giving to me. It's giving that like this was
dare I say it? The show was to justice, the
(49:00):
movies to Justice focused, to Justice, focused about should have
fixed the lining Joey's popping up and the jack on Joey.
I think it's giving to justice focused in the world
that doesn't want to discuss racism, right racism. I think
(49:21):
I think I think it was like I think it
was like two whimsical on too free for for this country.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
Yeah, they say, I am Like, I also think having
a black al baba, I think I think that also
probably played a role in it too, Like I think
it was, like I do believe, yeah, I do believe
that if if if if was white.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Is it is it? Am I saying around Ela whoever
know who.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
There talking about Joey just typed alphaba as if that
made a difference nunciation.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
His name, Yeah, John the Green Lady.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
If the Green Lady was white, I do believe that
the people would have viewed and dare I also say
that if John Chu was a white man, I think
that this story would have been received differently. But I
definitely do believe that race, Like you said, racism is
gonna always and trump, and I use that intentionly. It's
(50:28):
gonna always trump creativity in this industry, so that fucking sucks.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
The next one is Begogna. I mean, did you do what?
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Okay, listen, Did I love the film? I can't say that.
Do I think the score was fantastic? I do because
it was dramatic.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
It was a dramatic ass film. Do I think I'm
a Stone eight acting?
Speaker 3 (50:52):
She did?
Speaker 2 (50:52):
She did? She did?
Speaker 3 (50:54):
Like I won't say I love the film. No, I
would say it's a fil movie. It's not my film,
and a movie.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
Because like the film, like a film is like art
and movie is like fun.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
To me, it was a film. It was artistic. It's
not my type of art. The score was great and
and beautiful gallance and Emma Stone fucking ate that role
because the twist at the end.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
I said when she got in that closet, I said, oh,
that was literally the only part of the film that
actually made me go okay, all right, okay, I.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
Was I was goomed because I was like, bitches out
here like like she is giving in to the madness,
and I was like.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
Oh yeah, gooped. Oh So I will say I think
that that those two nons were deserve, were deserved. Yeah,
I love Came.
Speaker 3 (51:43):
Hunger's got two nominations, at least one for Best Song
and one for h So everyone keeps saying it's good.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
I might, and this is a big might. I might
entertain watching it this weekend. If I think you might.
Speaker 3 (52:01):
Like I think you might like it, Like it has
all the well do you like musicals in general?
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Not really, but I loved it, but I did enjoy Barrier. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
I think it's all of you. If you don't love animation,
I think you. I think you still might like it.
I just I.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Struggle with K pop because a lot of K pop
is no high friend. Uh things happen. A lot of
K pop is racist to me, and so that's why
I tend to kind of like that's fair that I
tend to be like, I don't think I want anything
to do with this that's not untrue. So so that's
(52:44):
that was part of me. When I saw K pop,
I was like, no, not for It's not for me, babes,
it's not for me, but I will.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
No, what is it? I could not talk. It's like
a spin off of Hamlet, but Hamnut. But it got
a lot nominations.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
Okay, So in jen it dramatizes the family life of
Shakespeare and his wife Agnes Howthaway.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Oh, interesting with Paul.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Is Shakespeare a real person? Do you feel like he
is a mythical person? I feel like he's like the Bible.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
No, Shakespeare is real.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Producer is going off in the comments, and he was
asking that. I don't know why. I feel like Shakespeare
is like the Bible. Nobody can prove that he's just died.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
There's there is there's literally well.
Speaker 3 (53:37):
I'm like like there's like there's like there's like literal
images of him. But but I guess I don't want
to say portraits because it's no one had pictures, so
I guess like pinkings of him, but like like he
he truly did, he truly did right, he wrote all
these plays?
Speaker 2 (53:51):
Like who wrote the play said.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
I don't know, you know what, I just don't believe
he's real.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I might smell is.
Speaker 3 (54:02):
Like, baby, you're cooking somebody else entally different is like
I can't swatch you cooking.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
I'm not please, Like I mean, I'm just saying, yes,
he's real.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
There's a bunch of conspiracy theories that he didn't he
actually write his place. That's what I'm saying. I feel
like he's like the Bible. He is a I feel
like Shakespeare was like a what do you call that?
I believe that as a common belief, says our producer.
But I don't believe he existed.
Speaker 2 (54:32):
I'm every shad at me.
Speaker 1 (54:35):
I'm pretty sure. I just don't believe he's real. I
don't believe he's a real person.
Speaker 2 (54:42):
Anyway, let's move on.
Speaker 1 (54:43):
We gotta move on. I did not see him that
I probably never will because I have not. I don't
even like ul what's the other one? Julia and Romeo
and Juliet never never but not tell you the first
of what what it?
Speaker 2 (54:58):
What it is about? What happens.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
I just know Mama Drake something to die. That's all
I know. But other than that, no, I'll probably never
watch that. Now, let's get to the star of the
Oscars sixty. So from what I understand, and please correct
us if we're wrong, Sinners is the most film. Is
the film to ever be nominated the most category?
Speaker 2 (55:22):
Yeah? Ever sixteen categories? Right, so it was fourteen and that's.
Speaker 3 (55:26):
By two, So sixteen and basically almost every category they
have a nomination for.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
You know, some white director's booty hole is itch and
honey because they are pissed. Sixteen noms history making. But
let's talk about it. So my other part, I was
gonna say, and this is what I said in our
pre show part.
Speaker 2 (55:43):
Fifty percent of me.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Is like, yay, let's dance, let's party. But the other
sixteen the other fifty percent of me is like, I
think these niggas gonna play in our face. So I
was gonna say, I think, like I guess the other
fifty percent of me is like, I know that these
niggas are gonna pull a fast one on us. Yeah,
and he's only gonna walk away with maybe like best
(56:05):
song or best costume.
Speaker 2 (56:06):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (56:07):
So I'm so I'm I'm praying that he walks away
with more specifically, and I always say her name wrong
Woomy or Woomy. I think it's her name. I know
she's not nominated as well for Best Supporting Actress, and
yeah she is, and so I'm I'm rooting for her
(56:28):
to win more than anything but Delroy Lindo. He finally
got his nomination, which he's discussed. So best Song, Yeah, yeah, score,
it got the skinner the Center's score. I think specifically,
I want to shout out, I lie to you.
Speaker 2 (56:49):
Yeah hmmm.
Speaker 1 (56:51):
I just I rewatched Centers this weekend, and it was
just every time I watch it, it gets better. It's
one of those films that every time you watch it,
you catch something different and you there's just a certain score.
The music adds to the layer of of how fucking
fantastic this song?
Speaker 2 (57:10):
And does can I can?
Speaker 1 (57:12):
I just if I can tangent real quick, I want
to say, like a lot of people didn't know so
like pick poor Robin Clean, Like I didn't know that
was one of the things that made me love the
music in the film that much more. I didn't know
that that was an old black folks song about black
people robbing white folks for basically things.
Speaker 2 (57:31):
That they needed.
Speaker 1 (57:32):
And so in the film, having the Vampire sing that
song kind of as like, look at us, We're one
of you, We're part of us. It was they were
speaking to the ways that white people come in and
take our music and take our culture and repackage it
and resell it back to us as a way for
them to like infiltrate black spaces. So it just fucking
(57:54):
Ryan Coogler's mind. Like, I don't even go up for
directors and producers or writers like that, but Ryan Coogler
is a fucking genius.
Speaker 2 (58:02):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
I like, there's not enough like yeah, and even Michael B. George,
I know, I'm giving him a lot too. Like Michael B.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
I don't think he's a good actor. I don't.
Speaker 1 (58:11):
I've always said, I think I've gone on record to
say he is not one of my favorite actors. I
put him in the same category as Timothy Shallow that
Shallatte boy him and Timothy Shalla May they are the
same caliber of acting.
Speaker 2 (58:26):
But Michael he he he, he did he did that.
He like.
Speaker 1 (58:31):
I watched Cinners and I'm like, yeah, Michael ate in
all three of those roles. He ate and all three
of them. And for people who are like John, why
are the three roles. Honey, he took on the vampire
role after he was killed, so that's a third role.
And the fact that he played three roles and just it. Yes,
he deserves best actor.
Speaker 2 (58:50):
He just does. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (58:52):
I know I've hogged this this segment or this this part,
but I I cannot not fawn over my left for Sinners.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
Did you Joy Sinners? I'm sorry I blacked out after
you said that you think Michel Juran is not a
good actor. Oh okay, how about that.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
I said, you just said you disassociated m I was like,
but yeah, yeah, I just I it's not to say
that I don't think that it's not I don't think
that he's a great actor. I just don't think that
he I think he needs more time. I up to
(59:29):
this point, I was in the mind of he needs
a role that is going to challenge him more, and
this role did that for me. So can I say
he's a good actor now?
Speaker 2 (59:38):
Oh? Yes, Sinners? I did it hurt, But before I
was not.
Speaker 3 (59:44):
I've said I've only said it twice, like and like,
I'm not a person who needs to see things like
there's some reason I'll watch it over over again. But
I think like when it comes to films, like films, right,
there are art I can't watch. I can't watch more
than two or three times because then I feel like
I don't like it's it comes hard for me to
like to like absorbed it again. But I like, I
thought Singers was a fantastic film, Like I I think
(01:00:08):
some people say masterpiece.
Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
I don't. I would say a masterpiece.
Speaker 4 (01:00:11):
I think like, I think like I think, I mean
like like and I I like I I see why,
like I see why and I and I agree that
there are a lot of parts of it that that
is a masterpiece.
Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
I think it.
Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
I but like, I don't like like, I think Ryan
Cooler like will have more masterpiece films. Oh yeah, like,
I like, I don't think this is him. I don't
think this is his. I don't think this is his.
Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Like like magnum opis right, Like, I don't think this
is his magnum Opus, I think, but I think this
is like one of this is one of the best
ones of.
Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
Last year entirely.
Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
Yeah, I loved it, and I and like and I
honestly probably will probably will watch again soon a half time.
It's a long movie, but like the score of the soundtrack.
I'm happy I would. I wasn't sure if the woman
you were saying when women Masaku, I wasn't sure shet nominate.
(01:01:05):
Because I saw Dell, I was like, well, why is
she nominate? I'm glad she was because she was fantastic
as well too, like every person that in that film
was fantastic. So I mean, deserve to win, deserve to
all the nominations, deserves to win. We'll see what happens. Yeah,
I pray round Cougar at least wins best directing. The
actors all win their awards, because I think they deserve
to get the accolades at TA deserve for their work. Well, okay,
(01:01:30):
so I'll just say, if y'all have to talk about
the Oscar noms, please let us know. Please, if you're
if you if you are winning with with with bated
breath about what's gonna happen, let us know. For now
we have to take one more break and move back
with your Heiritement's gonna know on hands in just a moment.
Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
All right, y'all.
Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
So with that being said, we are now to the
segment that y'all absolutely love, and a door it's our
yes ma'am and our no mam s fort this week
and this week mine are like said, very simple, straight
to the point. This week, my yes ma'am, I am
wanting to shout out all of my friends who are
doing HIV prevention work, namely now again, I am a doctor,
(01:02:13):
but I also struggle with how to say things.
Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
So it is Lana cap of vier. Is that right,
Lana cap of her?
Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
Possibly, I don't know how to say either, but I'm like,
it makes sense, okay, yeah, Len a cap of er.
Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
I mean like it.
Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Sounds like correct what you're saying, Lana cap of her Okay.
So basically, it's an HIV prevention drug. And I know
my friend works for one of the companies who does
a lot of HIV prevention work, and so he was
he was celebrating it in our in our group chat.
Shout out to him, and so I just definitely just
want to say, I'm in this age or in this
(01:02:52):
moment where our government is actively taking funding away for
HIV prevention and HIV work. It's itself to see that
they're still making strides to help people living with HIV
and thriving with HIV. It just it makes me very
very happy. So I definitely just wanted to say that
they're there. The article that I did read it was
an article in The Advocate. They were saying that there's
(01:03:14):
still a lot of it still has a very long
way to go before it actually becomes something that folks
can actually put their hands on. It's like a twenty
thousand dollars injection basically, and oh wow, we still have
a very long way to go. But the fact that
it actually exists and that it's and that the studies
is or not even studies, but like the folks who
are who are using it, it's showing that it's working
(01:03:36):
to help people with HIV. It just it means so
much to me to see that. So I'm really happy
about that. My noman Pam this week. People who continue
to think the word fat is a bad word, I
just baby, can we please move on? Like folks thinking
goops is going And I namely say that because, like
(01:03:57):
I said, I'm I'm currently working on a project and
and as I'm thinking about the ways we're talking about
fat people and fatness itself, there's just this whole thing
of like people thinking that goop ones are going to
change their life. And what I mean by that is that, yes,
it will, Like I will. I will go on record
and say being on Ozempic has changed my life. I
(01:04:19):
can eat what I want to eat. I can eat
what I want to eat when I want to eat it.
I can't eat a lot of it, right, but I
can still have a piece of a donut. I can
still have a soda. I can still like and my
sugar doesn't shoot up and I don't feel like I
want to pass out right. I appreciate that ozempic has
helped me. I get less cravings for sugar, which which
I love. I love knowing that I'm not craving sugar
(01:04:41):
the way that I used to crave sugar like for me,
like I would wake up every morning being like I
want a frappuccino. Every morning I wanted a frappuccino, and
now I don't. I think frappuccinos are gross. It. It
has helped me regulate a lot of my relationship with food.
But what I will say is that people think getting
on a GOP and then losing the weight is going
to change their life. And I'm here to tell you
(01:05:01):
that losing weight is not going to change your life, sweetheart,
You doing the work mentally, physically and emotionally if you
want to work out and you want to lose weight
and you want to feel better that way, and you
want to work with a therapist to say I want
to feel better in the body that I'm in. Okay, baby,
I'm here to have that conversation with you. But folks
like Oprah who are celebrating golps as if they're like
(01:05:22):
the conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
But folks like.
Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
Oprah who's baby baby like that is not a bad word. Yeah,
these golps are not going to change your life. They
lose the weight, but I can guarantee you, as someone
who has been on the roller coaster of weight loss,
you will end up hating something about yourself even after
you lose all the weight. So do the work, honey,
(01:05:45):
mentally and emotionally. What are your yes, ma'am's and no
mams for this sution, my s men for this week one,
I will espim creating change like it really is the
most interesting conference I've been to thus far, like in
the conferences I've gone to, just in terms of like
the people who are hearing what they all do and
how they show up in the world, like powerful conversations,
(01:06:06):
dramatic conversations. I'm really good experiences. So I'm really loving
this so far. For sure, No Man, Pam is going
to be I think it's just gonna be.
Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Like along along the lines of the people that I hear.
I think there are some instances where like there's like,
for example, I was in I was in like a
session and one of the like someone was just like
being such a Karen essentially. I was like, I was like, damn,
(01:06:39):
even in court transplaces, the white person's gonna white stale
like and that's just seeing That's just that's just what
it is.
Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
And so coromal tractor t.
Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
Bitch. Oh I wish we got into that because that
is just wild stuff. Yeah yeah, So you know it's like,
no man, Pam is just like tell the folks who
even in space that we're trying to be expensive and abundant.
They're still trying to be restrictive with their ideals and
with their beliefs, like just be just like think bigger, girl,
(01:07:12):
think bigger, think bigger.
Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
You gotta think big, bitch you think.
Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I definitely feel
that it's always something. It's gonna always be somebody and
the same thing. Even even last week, like I said,
was in one of the best conferences, there was still
somebody who was complaining about something. I said, Girl, you
always find somebody who's gonna find a reason to be
upset about something because they just want to be heard.
(01:07:39):
And sometimes it's like, maybe do you do you just
you just need a therapist, honey.
Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
That's what you just need to be heard. That's really
what it comes down to. You just need to be heard.
Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
But anyway, all that to be said, we are so
thankful for y'all listening. Please send your thoughts over to
us Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com. Our email is looking
very lonely these days, so yeah, yeah, I mean what
we do, what what do we have to do to
get people to email us? That is the questing you
(01:08:08):
to be seen in green. We would love to be
seen in green. So we want to hear from you,
even if it's a simple one sentence, two sentence.
Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Just send us something, honey.
Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Like we we do this podcast for you. You send
us your thoughts via social media if that's easier for you.
We are on threads, we are on Instagram. I'm on Spiel.
You can send me a message on Spiel. You can
also send us an email on Facebook, so check all
of them. So yeah, send us, send us something at
Black Fatfelm Pod. My dear, where can the dolls find you?
Speaker 3 (01:08:39):
As always my loves, you can find me at Jehodann's
across all socials, upside your Nails dot com.
Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
If not there, you will find me somewhere where there's heat.
Because I do not like to.
Speaker 3 (01:08:51):
I always say I'd rather be cold and hot, but
this week has proven to me that's not true. Why
I'd rather be just temperate.
Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
I'd rather be comfortable, bitch. I'd rather be comfortable. That's it.
Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
A good, a good sixty seven sixty eight with a blanket, girl,
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:09:10):
That's what I need. That's what I.
Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
Need, with a good with a good blanket. Who you
said when you said twenty four? I said, oh no, man,
I said that was God telling me not to go
this year, because I was like, ain't.
Speaker 2 (01:09:22):
No way, and I read the frankly, he ain't no way,
reezing my ass, ain't no way. My friend is in Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
She just sent me a text and she said it
is five degrees where she is and I just I can't.
I can't even think about it. I can't even think
about it. But anyway, all that to be said on
my end on socials. You can find me at doctor
John Paul online ww dot doctor John Paul dot com,
where you can learn more about my consulting because it's
open gear okay, my books catch it, and where I
(01:09:53):
will be in the coming weeks. I wanted to shout
out and say I wanted to shout out drunk Black History.
Thank you for inviting me. I will be down to
the Allisian Theater on February twenty first giving a quick
black run through of Polly Murray.
Speaker 2 (01:10:09):
I got asked to.
Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
Do the.
Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
Jamila limur Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:10:14):
Jamila Lemaru asked me to be her co buddy in
the work of doing drunk. Yes, so I will be
down there on February twenty first. You can find out
more down to the Allegian Theater website, things like w
Allisiantheater dot com.
Speaker 2 (01:10:32):
It's only fifteen dollars.
Speaker 1 (01:10:34):
So if you can go to Starbucks and you can
get you a drink, you can get you a ham
and cheese croissant. You can come see me do drunk
Black History. I will not be drunk because I do
not drink, but I know others will be there who
will be so it will be a good time either way,
because you know I'm a.
Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
Good key key.
Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
If you want to see me on Hulu, watch who
am I meant to be? Where I talk all the
magic of the show and how amazing it is to
have a partner like Joe, asked my co host, And so.
Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
Yeah, that's it, honey, has been another show. Stay black,
fatfem and fabulous and remember what Joe hot.
Speaker 3 (01:11:08):
We may not be a cup of tea girl, but
drinking some rainbow water bish because you need to be
fabulous and stay gay as much.
Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
As you can this world. Is rainbow water a real thing?
It's not, But I'm making a real thing today. I
know that.
Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Okay, that is Joe hoe Coin that I bet not
see nobody here trying to stell it.
Speaker 2 (01:11:27):
I see y'all next.
Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
Week, Love you bye.
Speaker 3 (01:11:35):
The Black Fatfem podcast is executive produced by Joey Patt
and doctor John Paul.
Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
All content related to the show is edited by Chris Rogers.
Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
This has been a podcast by iHeartMedia and Doctor John
Paul LLC the Black Fat FIM podcasts, where all the
intersections of a dandy are celebrated. Honey, I know that's right,
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