August 11, 2025 • 7 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's starting a new charity called
Locks of Lump, where they take the hairballs that your
cat coughs up it weaves them into stylish wigs for
hairless kittens.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Donate your kiddy's hairballs today.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
So laser stories like patches of balls on the hairless jass.
It's the segment where we read weird news stories around
the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got
a laser, as other football fashionistas just don't. This first
lazer story is out of Los Angeles. Thirty year old
woman named Taffy do Guard was having a fun night.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hey, I bet you can't have. Taffy always has a fun.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Night, but I don't know if she remembers it.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Witnesses say they saw Taffy pull out a ladder from
a nearby shed and climb up onto the roof of
a parks and recreation building, then began dancing.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Hey, she's start a block party. Jet.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
She didn't have any music playing, but people could hear
her singing a tune.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And waving her arms.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hey, davvy.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
This happened around seven pm, so early enough that bystanders
gathered around and told Taffy to knock it off.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Why do I want her to be singing I'm a
laffy Davvy. Eh, yeah, laughy davvy.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
But for some reason, that only made her dance harder.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Oh, after about fifteen minutes, she got her second wind
and proceeded to climb the chimney and dance on.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Top of that.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
It's not high enough to start the real party jet.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, and that's when things went from bad to worse
because somehow during Taffy's tap routine, she fell inside the chimney.
She was.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
The top, makes it more impressive.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yes, I thought she's just no, she was going all
out and got stuck about three feet deep inside the chimney.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I guess that's better than falling to the very bottom.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Firefighters were able to hoist her to Sayfety using a
rope system. Taffy was alert and conscious, but had to
be taken to a hospital. Authorities haven't revealed what was
going on, maybe because they have no idea either. Witnesses
say Taffy appeared to be under the influence of something,
but that hasn't been confirmed.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Or just tap dance because yeah, it makes everybody want to.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Dance a beat.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Unclear if she was legitimately out of her mind or
if she was planning to audition to become a chimney
sweep in a Mary Poppins reboot. It is Los Angeles,
so you never know. This next laser story is out
of Ohio. There's a woman named Tia McCreery who went
to a Kia dealership in February of last year to
(02:43):
buy a car, Tia Kia. In the beginning, things were
going smooth and the dealership helped her finance it through
a lending company.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I love my Keia, a great car. Yeah, I seriously
love it.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
It all went well and Tia was pre approved. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
But a month later, for whatever reason, the company decided
they didn't want to finalize her loan before it closed.
So the dealership went out and repossessed the car while
Tia was at work.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
And nobody got tempted. They said, Okay, you can't take
that back. Can you take back Sias, Yeah, I've.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Gotten my car repo. They can definitely take it back.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
That's if you're not making payments.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Oh yeah, I didn't make payments for years insurance company rules,
by the way, So she was not amused, and if
you know Tia, she doesn't let things go like that. Yeah.
So she began looking into her legal options and discovered
the car dealership failed to renew the registration of their
business name. After that, she did some quick paperwork and
(03:45):
registered it under her own name.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yes is real now, Oh man, who can own a
company like this?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Like?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Well, kind of figuratively too.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
And then she sent the dealership a cease and desist
letter telling them they couldn't use their own name because
it was now registered to her. The company sued her
and the case is still tied up in the courts.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Oh God, have more of a nightmare than.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
She's got money. Now, the most significant ruling so far
has gone.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
In TIA's favor, so she's at least succeeded in being
a total thorn in their side. Yeah, she has no
matter how this turns out. It's kind of amazing to
see an average person getting epic petty revenge like this.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
It's got a lot of time on the bus.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, even if there was some legitimacy to her loan
being rejected for whatever reason, We will keep you updated
on the situation. Yeah, we're about to go check in
see Mazda.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Uh oh, look out. This next Lazer story is out
of Vegas.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Nick Phillips and Heather Schrowing love entering contests and recently
they hit the jackpot with the Hellman's Mayonnaise Company by
winning an all expense paid MAO marriage ceremony White people like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
They're definitely white people.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well what does that mean?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Well, winners of the contest package get a full ceremony
with reception food, a professional photographer, and five thousand dollars
to cover all travel expenses.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
That's pretty cool, except for the mayonnaise part.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Well, there is one catch to this.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
The officiant would be the Hellman's mascot, Manny Mayo.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I mean, I'm glad people are taking marriage so seriously. Yeah,
so dude, he's in a tux though you don't know, Yeah,
that's true.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I'm showing a photo of it to everybody.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We'll have the pictures up on our Insta stories of
Brook and Jeffrey.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
But the couple decided, you.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Know what, let's do this, and they got married in
a chicken tender dip themed wedding in Las Vegas. Did
they use Mayo to make ranch?
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Let's hope. No, dude, I'm gonna tell you, fries dipped
in mayonnaise is the best thing ever.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Try it.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's a very French thing.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Nick and Heather were totally into it. In their submission,
the couple described themselves as Condiments Somaliaisease, and they were
notified that they'd won the contest less than three weeks
before the ceremony. But it's a lot easier when a
mayonnaise brand is handling all the logistics for it. Cray,
one of the couple's friends, reported on it for The
(06:24):
Wall Street Journal.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Oh my god, you made it.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
There had the headline, A giant tub of mayonnaise married
my friends.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
It looks really cute, And they said, I dip is
what the science says I do.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I did, she said.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Hellman's initially had a dress code, sending all the guests
a palette of mayonnaise colors, but they didn't end up
caring about it.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
And when marrying.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Them, Manny Mao said, like chicken tender, dip and chicken tenders,
marriage is a beautiful union of two special flavors that
just worked together.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Oh got a dry eye in the room.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
The couple later read their actual vows over at Chippendale's
like that, and you won't believe who married them at
that ceremony. Guy. Yeah, In fact, he was showing them
exactly what to do on their wedding night, because that's.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Just how he is.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And that sound means later, No, that sound means Laser
Stories has come to an end for the day.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
We'll do it again, same time on Wednesday
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
It's the radio segment that's starting a new charity called
Locks of Lump, where they take the hairballs that your
cat coughs up it weaves them into stylish wigs for
hairless kittens.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Donate your kiddy's hairballs today.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
So laser stories like patches of balls on the hairless jass.
It's the segment where we read weird news stories around
the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got
a laser, as other football fashionistas just don't. This first
lazer story is out of Los Angeles. Thirty year old
woman named Taffy do Guard was having a fun night.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hey, I bet you can't have. Taffy always has a fun.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Night, but I don't know if she remembers it.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Witnesses say they saw Taffy pull out a ladder from
a nearby shed and climb up onto the roof of
a parks and recreation building, then began dancing.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Hey, she's start a block party. Jet.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
She didn't have any music playing, but people could hear
her singing a tune.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And waving her arms.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hey, davvy.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
This happened around seven pm, so early enough that bystanders
gathered around and told Taffy to knock it off.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Why do I want her to be singing I'm a
laffy Davvy. Eh, yeah, laughy davvy.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
But for some reason, that only made her dance harder.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Oh, after about fifteen minutes, she got her second wind
and proceeded to climb the chimney and dance on.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Top of that.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
It's not high enough to start the real party jet.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, and that's when things went from bad to worse
because somehow during Taffy's tap routine, she fell inside the chimney.
She was.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
The top, makes it more impressive.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yes, I thought she's just no, she was going all
out and got stuck about three feet deep inside the chimney.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I guess that's better than falling to the very bottom.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Firefighters were able to hoist her to Sayfety using a
rope system. Taffy was alert and conscious, but had to
be taken to a hospital. Authorities haven't revealed what was
going on, maybe because they have no idea either. Witnesses
say Taffy appeared to be under the influence of something,
but that hasn't been confirmed.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Or just tap dance because yeah, it makes everybody want to.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Dance a beat.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Unclear if she was legitimately out of her mind or
if she was planning to audition to become a chimney
sweep in a Mary Poppins reboot. It is Los Angeles,
so you never know. This next laser story is out
of Ohio. There's a woman named Tia McCreery who went
to a Kia dealership in February of last year to
(02:43):
buy a car, Tia Kia. In the beginning, things were
going smooth and the dealership helped her finance it through
a lending company.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I love my Keia, a great car. Yeah, I seriously
love it.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
It all went well and Tia was pre approved. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
But a month later, for whatever reason, the company decided
they didn't want to finalize her loan before it closed.
So the dealership went out and repossessed the car while
Tia was at work.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
And nobody got tempted. They said, Okay, you can't take
that back. Can you take back Sias, Yeah, I've.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Gotten my car repo. They can definitely take it back.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
That's if you're not making payments.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Oh yeah, I didn't make payments for years insurance company rules,
by the way, So she was not amused, and if
you know Tia, she doesn't let things go like that. Yeah.
So she began looking into her legal options and discovered
the car dealership failed to renew the registration of their
business name. After that, she did some quick paperwork and
(03:45):
registered it under her own name.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yes is real now, Oh man, who can own a
company like this?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Like?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Well, kind of figuratively too.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
And then she sent the dealership a cease and desist
letter telling them they couldn't use their own name because
it was now registered to her. The company sued her
and the case is still tied up in the courts.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Oh God, have more of a nightmare than.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
She's got money. Now, the most significant ruling so far
has gone.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
In TIA's favor, so she's at least succeeded in being
a total thorn in their side. Yeah, she has no
matter how this turns out. It's kind of amazing to
see an average person getting epic petty revenge like this.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
It's got a lot of time on the bus.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, even if there was some legitimacy to her loan
being rejected for whatever reason, We will keep you updated
on the situation. Yeah, we're about to go check in
see Mazda.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Uh oh, look out. This next Lazer story is out
of Vegas.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Nick Phillips and Heather Schrowing love entering contests and recently
they hit the jackpot with the Hellman's Mayonnaise Company by
winning an all expense paid MAO marriage ceremony White people like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
They're definitely white people.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well what does that mean?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Well, winners of the contest package get a full ceremony
with reception food, a professional photographer, and five thousand dollars
to cover all travel expenses.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
That's pretty cool, except for the mayonnaise part.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Well, there is one catch to this.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
The officiant would be the Hellman's mascot, Manny Mayo.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I mean, I'm glad people are taking marriage so seriously. Yeah,
so dude, he's in a tux though you don't know, Yeah,
that's true.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I'm showing a photo of it to everybody.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We'll have the pictures up on our Insta stories of
Brook and Jeffrey.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
But the couple decided, you.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Know what, let's do this, and they got married in
a chicken tender dip themed wedding in Las Vegas. Did
they use Mayo to make ranch?
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Let's hope. No, dude, I'm gonna tell you, fries dipped
in mayonnaise is the best thing ever.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Try it.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's a very French thing.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Nick and Heather were totally into it. In their submission,
the couple described themselves as Condiments Somaliaisease, and they were
notified that they'd won the contest less than three weeks
before the ceremony. But it's a lot easier when a
mayonnaise brand is handling all the logistics for it. Cray,
one of the couple's friends, reported on it for The
(06:24):
Wall Street Journal.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Oh my god, you made it.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
There had the headline, A giant tub of mayonnaise married
my friends.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
It looks really cute, And they said, I dip is
what the science says I do.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I did, she said.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Hellman's initially had a dress code, sending all the guests
a palette of mayonnaise colors, but they didn't end up
caring about it.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
And when marrying.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Them, Manny Mao said, like chicken tender, dip and chicken tenders,
marriage is a beautiful union of two special flavors that
just worked together.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Oh got a dry eye in the room.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
The couple later read their actual vows over at Chippendale's
like that, and you won't believe who married them at
that ceremony. Guy. Yeah, In fact, he was showing them
exactly what to do on their wedding night, because that's.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Just how he is.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And that sound means later, No, that sound means Laser
Stories has come to an end for the day.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
We'll do it again, same time on Wednesday
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!