Phone Tap: Saying I Do To Dope Tikulitis

Today’s Phone Tap victim is getting married this fall and unfortunately her officiant had a conflict so we’re sending our best beat boxer to oversee the ceremony instead!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Is there any tradition more sacred than messing with a
bride on the week of her wedding tradition, at least
not on our show. That's as big as it gets.
We've done over a dozen of these and only been
able to air four because the others are still angry about.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
What happens something Blue.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
We're gonna try again today, and this time we're going
to replace the efficient with a backup person. It has
a bad case of dope ticulitis.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Is this the fifth one?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
If you don't know what dopeticulitis is, you're about to
hear it in your phone tap right now.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
It's Hello.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Is this the Cassie that's getting married this week?

Speaker 1 (00:49):
And yes, soon to be Missie?

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yes, congratulations First, but my name is Henry Wilde. I'm
from efficients.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Oh Okay, Hi, Hi, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Look, I know you're supposed to have Mark officiate your
wedding the Saturday. Is that correct?

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yes? What's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Well, unfortunately he had an emergency and his cat actually
got his tongue. What sounds worse than it is. He's
gonna be okay, he just may may not a freaking
not be able to be there Saturday. Oh my god, yeah,
he recker won't be there.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
What are you?

Speaker 3 (01:34):
What are you doing right now?

Speaker 2 (01:36):
I'm trying to tell you about the replacement that we're
giving you.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
No, no, it's me.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
I'm going to be your efficient now.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
What are you? What is happening?

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Wait with me? Fieling in for the wedding. A crick of,
crick of what I was talking about earlier?

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Your voice? What is happening? What are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Oh you you heard that?

Speaker 3 (01:57):
Yes? I heard it.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Oh no, that that's just a it's not gonna affect anything.
It's just a little that's what's called a frickup. What's
it called?

Speaker 3 (02:07):
It's just the thing.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
What is that?

Speaker 2 (02:09):
It's called dopeticulitis. Have you ever heard of it?

Speaker 3 (02:13):
No, I'm not. I'm not really interested. I'm not either.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
It's one of those things that happens like once every
few years. It's kind of like hiccups, like musical hiccups.
I get them, comes in and out, maybe a day,
maybe two, maybe for a a freak up, maybe free
days in time, and.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Then it's oh.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
I'm not sure I'll be fine for the wedding, don't
you worry?

Speaker 3 (02:34):
Are you joking right now? Because I don't want anybody
joking this close to my wedding.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I've actually done over a hundred weddings myself, and this
dope ticulatest thing is so minor, and it's never ever
once happened during a sembe thing.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
I do you need to stop? Okay, you need to
stop talking right now.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
I would love to stop stop loving. I want to stop,
but I can't. I don't.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
I don't care. I don't care if this is some
sort of condition, or you are joking or whatever. You
are not officiating my wedding. We have had this on
the books for a very long time. Who else can
I talk to?

Speaker 2 (03:18):
I have no control over what happened with Mark and
his cat, and I don't care. I w wait a
freaking wish it ever happened.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Stop don't you wish? Is ridiculous?

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Things never happened.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Put me on the phone with someone else. They put
me on the phone.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Put me on the phone, put me on.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
The What are you doing? You understand that my wedding
is this weekend? Okay? I can't have somebody breaking out
into a song, a rap. Whatever the hell you are
doing is not okay. So we need to fix the
problem right now.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Okay, I hear you. It's your wedding. I want to
help you whatever you want. And did you hear that?
By the way, I just went five seconds without doing frickup.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
I don't care. I don't care. Stop, she doesn't care.
I'm hang phe.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
No, your bridesmaid, Candace would hate it if you hung
up right now a print phone call. Yeah, I'm her
favorite DJ, well radio DJ, but not like my god.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
I mean right now, this is actually.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Jose from Brick and Jeffrey in the morning. We're doing
a phone tap on you.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Oh my god, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
And I don't care how much you hate me. I
Brick of Tawn, I love you, Jeffrey.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Wake Up. Every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on
the twenties, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.