December 7, 2022 • 35 mins
EPISODE 90: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: Eight different things - led by Raphael Warnock's victory over Herschel Walker in the Georgia runoff - went drastically wrong for Trump on Tuesday, so PARTY DOWN. (2:10) The Special Counsel not only issued subpoenas he expanded his investigation to include electoral fraud; the 1/6 Committee is (probably) going for criminal referrals; the Trump Organization convicted of 17 counts of...free cable? Ronna McDaniel turns on him over Georgia; Mitch McConnell turns on him over 'terminating' the Constitution; and the families of the January 6th Congressional Gold Medal recipients with a never-to-be-forgotten diss of Trump's nearest proxies, refusing to shake the hands of McConnell and Kevin McCarthy.
B-Block (14:57) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Eddy in New York; (15:59) IN SPORTS: Cody Bellinger moves, Aaron Judge about to, J.T. Daniels AGAIN (19:39) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: A New York newspaper confuses Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander; Arson Judge? Who the hell is ARSON Judge? And Kanye West is a long way from rock bottom.
C-Block (23:46) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: 17 years ago this week we found out the president of MSNBC didn't have cable, and was still congratulating himself on changes to Countdown he'd made a year before, and which we'd dropped after actually doing them only once. Also, as Lester Holt, Chris Matthews, Joe Scarborough, Jesse Ventura and I realized - in the men's room - the guy wasn't 6'7." He was 6'5" and for some reason he was lying about it!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio.
Fifty years ago, I read a line from the baseball
(00:25):
historian Harold Seymour about the president of a mortally wounded
nineteenth century baseball league, and it has stuck with me
ever since. Henry V. Lucas resembled a person with his
arms full of packages, trying to retrieve them as they fell.
Each time he reached for one, he dropped one or
two more, and so never quite succeeded in recovering them all.
(00:50):
Donald Trump right, Trump's packages keeps spill into that pavement.
Trumpian Package number one by four Eastern last night, Long
before even his own cook political report would officially call
the race the impeccable election, analyst Dave Wasserman issued is
now cherished call of I've seen enough, and he gave
the Georgia runoff to Senator Rafael Warnock. Nine minutes later,
(01:13):
long before his New York Times made an official prediction,
It's figure, Philbert Nate Cohn added, we think Raphael Warnock
is on track to win, and however disturbing the volume
of votes Walker actually got may turn out to be
one of those parts of Georgia like like one endless
loop of the movie Deliverance. As disturbing as that thought is,
(01:37):
this will be three final Senate votes in Georgia in
just over two calendar years, all won by the Democrats,
the first one giving the party control of the Senate
and the second expanding its margin in Georgia, defeating Donald
Trump's handpicked village idiot. Three consecutive repudiations of Trump, just
(01:59):
at the Senate level, just in the state of Georgia.
I wonder how they will explain this to Herschel. I
don't mean that metaphorically nor analytically. I literally mean how
are they gonna make Herschel understand what has happened? As
one Twitter wag phrased it last night, quote feel bad
for Herschel Walker really thought he was the lying, violent, disturbed,
(02:21):
brain damaged Texan. Georgia needed Trumpian package number two. I
am still not fully convinced that the Special Council isn't
another Merrick Garland slow walk. But Jack Smith is clearly
not just sitting there. In fact, missed in the news
yesterday that he has subpoenaed local election officials in Arizona, Michigan,
(02:41):
and Wisconsin for records of any contact with Trump and
the Trump campaign and assorted Trump henchman. Is the fact
that last time we heard anything about Smith's remit, he
was supposedly prosecuting the one six coup attempt and Marilago.
Whatever he is doing, Smith has clearly expanded his field
of investigation to now include electoral interference like the I
(03:05):
just want to find eleven thousand, seven eight votes crime
in Georgia and maybe even the fake elector's scheme. To
drilling down a little into Package number two. What is
also fascinating about the subpoenas is a the time frame
any contact between the local Arizona, Michigan and Wisconsin officials
and the Trumpists from June one to January and be
(03:31):
the list of those correspondents actual low profile Trump campaign
attorneys like Justin Clark and Matthew Morgan, but also the
array of nut job conspiracy theorists John Eastman, Rudy Giuliani,
Clita Mitchell, and Sydney Powell, Trumpian Package number three falling
(03:51):
to the ground. Okay, for all of the effectiveness of
its presentation during its hearings, the January six Committee has
not exactly shown the same kind of slickness in terms
of this little question of criminal referrals. First Chairman Bennie
Thompson said they had decided to make them. Everybody printed
that story yesterday. Then he said they had decided to
(04:13):
probably make them, but weren't sure how many. Then he
said they had decided that criminal referrals will happen, but
they weren't sure for who. Then he said the committee
was meeting virtually last night to settle this. This is embarrassing,
this undermines credibility. But none of the self contradicting options
that Thompson spat out included no, we're not going to
(04:35):
refer criminally. Somebody ramped it up one more notch by
asking him if there is a list of who the
committee might make criminal referrals on if it goes ahead
and makes them as he said it will or probably will,
or has decided to but hasn't decided to yet. Thompson said,
of course, yes, but I can't give them to you
(04:56):
right now. A Trumpian package number four. It took a
New York jury just a day to convict the Trump
Organis Station on all seventeen counts of tax fraud and
other charges. Trump executives got off the books, perks, apartments,
luxury cars, even free cable television. Wow, free cable? What
(05:21):
a perk provided? This is? Anyway, the jury did not
buy the Trump defense that chief financial officer Alan Weislberg
did this just for himself. In fact, to convict under
New York state law, they had to believe he did
this for the company's benefit as well. Trump of course
responded by issuing a statement blaming Weislberg Trumpian Package number
(05:45):
five Rona McDaniel's surprise. Now, Seriously, it's one thing to
have members of the fascist establishment turned their backs on
Trump like the Murdocks. It's quite another to have shameless,
spineless opportunists and former Trump loyalists like Rona do so
laying the groundwork for the Georgia runoff last night. She
in on Fox News yesterday and came as close as
(06:07):
she practically can without dropping out of the race for
the chairmanship to blaming Trump in advance for herschel Walker's loss. Quote.
There were many in saying don't vote by mail unquote,
she means Trump. Quote, don't vote early. She means Trump,
and we have to stop that. And she means Trump
(06:28):
there too, Trumpian Package number six, his written threat to
terminate the Constitution, or his denial that he wrote what
you know he wrote, or his slightly reworded threat to
do the same damn thing. None of those are going
away yet. Now It is the work of one of
Washington's most dramatic performers, John Bolton. But Bolton did work
(06:51):
in the Trump administration, and he says he is willing
to launch his own presidential bid just a get on
a debate stage to try to thwart Trump directly. That statement,
Bolton added yesterday, is a time bomb sitting on the
desk of every Republican member of the House and the Senate,
every Republican candidate around the country. I think he met
(07:13):
it metaphorically. Trumpian Package number seven, the Terminator Jazz has
stripped away any illusion that Mitch McConnell is not at
war with Trump, and maybe at open war with him. Shortly,
the Senate Minority Leader emerged from his shell just long
enough to point out the fallacy of ignoring the Constitution.
If you happen to be the government official supposedly in
(07:36):
charge of defending the Constitution, anyone seeking the presidency thanks
to the Constitution could shall now be suspended or not followed.
It seems to me would have a very hard time
being sworn in as president of the United States. Wow, Mitch,
almost the bare minimum you should say if the leader
(07:58):
of your party has just threatened to terminate all are
part of the constitution? Semi all done, But don't worry.
Mitch successfully managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of
moral victory the second straight you come out. Can you
(08:19):
not support him? What I'm saying is if it'd be
pretty hard to be sworn in to the presidency if
you're not willing to uphold the Constitution. That's what I said,
and I just said it again. Of course, that answer
doesn't even hold together in the smarmy way McConnell meant it.
(08:41):
Why would Trump's vow to terminate the constitution stop him
from swearing to uphold the constitution? He just you know why. Happily,
Mitch still got his thanks to Trumpian Package number eight.
The stench of Trump's January six coup attempt is not
going away either, and yesterday it attached to itself to
(09:02):
his nearest proxies at hand at the ceremony in which
the Capitol Police were to be honored with the Congressional
Gold Medal. They would be Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy.
The mother of the late officer Brian sick Nick, and
family members of other recipients agreed beforehand to shake the
hand of Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer after receiving their medals,
(09:24):
but leave McConnell and McCarthy hanging their hands outstretched for
handshakes they will never get. They later chastise McCarthy for
his obvious collusion with the Trump mob the impending Kangaroo
Court investigation of the investigation into the culpability of Trump
and the Republican Party for January six. There have been
(09:44):
few more satisfying moments in the nearly two years since
Trump tried to terminate the Constitution, terminate the peaceful transfer
of power, terminate the democracy, and terminate the lives of
any peace officer who stood in their evil way. May
that eighth package Trump can't handle, containing that one photo
of Mrs sick Nick humiliating McCarthy and McConnell be remembered
(10:08):
forever by Senator Warnock Still ahead, the San Francisco Giants
announced it they have signed the big free agent outfielder. No, no,
(10:32):
this one is named Mitch Mitch Haniger. The other one
is Aaron Judge, who at last check looked likely to
sign with the San Francisco Giants and leave the New
York Yankees. But after one of the greatest spell correct
typos of all time, at least some of us will
forever know him as Arson Judge in Fuego. Exactly when
(10:56):
does Kanye West hit rock bottom? Who knew that Simpsons
scene where Homer keeps falling down Chasm after Chasm was
a documentary Kanye West? But there you are. The latest
comments are indicative of profound emotional illness and frankly, I
don't care anymore. And he was the president of MSNBC
and seventeen years ago. This week we found out the darkest,
(11:19):
ugliest secret possible about the head of a cable TV
news network. This guy didn't have cable TV at home.
Things I promised not to tell. Coming up, that's next.
This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith coming up
(11:45):
on countdown. Well, the San Francisco Giants might have signed
Aaron Judge, but who will sign Arson Judge and the
six ft five inch Network TV President who used to
lie and say he was six ft seven inches tall,
along with other crazy things and things I've promise not
to tell. First in each edition of Countdown, we feature
(12:08):
a dog in need you can help. Every dog has
its day. Once again, we turn to the kindness of
a Lane Boosler, whose group Tales of Joy will take
care of the ordinary expenses for a year if you
adopt Eddie off the kill list at the New York Pound.
Eddie E d d y, friendly social with a velvet
black coat. He has shut down in the pound and
(12:29):
they could kill him at any point. You can adopt
or foster Eddie if you are anywhere on the East
Coast from Virginia to Maine and you are willing to
come get him, or you can pledge to help a
rescue save him. You can find Eddie on my Twitter
feeds and your retweet of his story can help him
as well. I thank you, and Eddie, thanks you. This
(13:14):
is Sports Center. Wait check that not anymore. This is
Countdown with Keith in sports Cody Bellinger, Who's descent from
National League Most Valuable Player to one six hitter is
one of the most dramatic collapses in sports history. Has
(13:35):
left the Los Angeles Dodgers to sign a one year
contract with the Chicago Cubs for seventeen and a half
million dollars. He will try free agency again next winner,
having presumably improved on his previous seasons this year. As
to the big fish of the baseball free agent waters,
the San Francisco Chronicle beat writer for the Giants, Susan
Slusser says rumbling among Giants players and other personnel that
(13:58):
Aaron Judge is coming aboard. Yankees, played by play man
Michael Ka reports a text to him reading, the Bankees
are still in play. My own meager sources say they're understanding.
Is Judges set on the Giants. The money is agreed upon.
They are now just ironing out the perks college football.
I don't know whether to praise J. C. Daniels dedication
(14:20):
or damn him as a mercenary. I just keep hearing
the line from Citizen Kane in my head. When Kane's
managers asked about Kine going to Harvard, Harvid, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Switzerland,
he was thrown out of a lot of colleges. J T.
Daniels started his college career as the quarterback at USC,
then transferred to Georgia to get more playing time than
(14:41):
transferred to West Virginia, and now at West Virginia, he
says he will transfer again, all in hopes of breaking
through and subsequently getting drafted by an NFL team after
his four college career, Thank you, Nancy Faust, and after
(15:18):
fifteen years one of the best reputations in sports, the
Montreal Canadians Hall of Fame caliber goalie Carry Price may
have ended his career. First, he came out in favor
of a right wing organization fighting gun control legislation in Canada,
and he complained that a gun he favored to hunt
with was going to be banned. It isn't going to
(15:39):
be banned. Then it turned out the organization that he
supported had used the word Polly as a discount code
for merchandise. As the anniversary of the mass shooting by
an anti feminist at Montreal's at Cold Polytechnique approached. Then
the Canadian said Price was unaware of the Polly shooting
and it was all coincidence. Then yesterday Price said no,
(16:00):
he was aware of it. There are now hockey people
calling for the team to set her all ties with
its future Hall of Fame goalie carry Price ahead. I
(16:24):
have spoken of him before, Rick Kaplan, the one time
MSNBC president who tried to kill me because I mentioned
blood on the air and he was squeamish about blood.
Now it is the anniversary of one of his most
jaw dropping moments, even with that as context. Also, he
used to lie about being six ft seven when he
was actually six ft five. Who does that? Coming up
(16:48):
first of the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons and
Dunning Kruger Effect specimens who constitute today's worst persons in
the world. Lebronze, Mary Kay Jacob and the New York
Post Real Estate section quote mets newest pitcher Max Scherzer
buys elegant five point four million dollar Long Island home,
reads the headline on her story from five thirty nine
(17:09):
pm yesterday, and there was a tweet to quoting The
move comes after Sherzer, thirty eight, agreed to a three year,
one million dollar contract with the Mets on November twenty nine.
Records indicate that Scherzer may have an had knowledge of
the deal a month prior, as the home was shown
to have gone into contract on October. Oh Big scoop.
There's a lot of wrong in this and starting with
(17:31):
this fact. The Mets newest pitcher is Justin Verlander Max Scherzer.
They signed him last year. The Post pulled the story
but left in the stuff about Sherz. You're signing his
new contract on novembery which was also last year. The
runner up in the New York Posts Sports section, John Hayman,
(17:52):
who gets a lot of good scoops but sometimes lets
himself down on the details, tweeted about baseball's biggest remaining
free agent at two twenty Eastern quote Arson Judge appears
headed to the Giants. Three hours and seven minutes later,
Giants say they have not heard on Aaron Judge. My
apologies for jumping the gun. Okay, but what about Arson Judge?
(18:15):
Arson Judge? That name is gonna last, but our winner,
Speaking of things lasting, Kanye West. At some point this
idiot is going to hit rock bottom, but evidently not yet.
Does an interview with psycho twerp Nick Fuente's and the
founder of the ironically named Proud Boys, Gavin mckinnis, and
(18:36):
West says quote, Jews should work for Christians. I'll hire
a Jewish person in a second, if I knew they
were at a spy and I could look through their
phone and follow through their house and have a camera
all in their living room. Then Kanye West blamed Holocaust
remembrance on the victims, quoting again, you can't force your
(18:58):
pain on everyone else. Jewish people forgive Hitler today unquote.
I used to be sort of concerned, hoping somebody would
help this obviously mentally self destructing man out, But now
I just don't don't care. Kanye, to hell with you, West,
(19:18):
Today's worst person in the world. Finally to the number
one story on the Countdown on my favorite topic, me
and Things I Promised not to tell, And tomorrow is
seventeen years since this former MSNBC president Rick Kaplan, the
(19:43):
guy who wants to chased me around the studios threatening
to kill me because he was squeamish and I had
mentioned blood on the air, blew any remaining credibility he
had with us because he didn't know what was live
and what was on delay. However, this story starts in
the men's room at MSNBC. It is February seven and teen,
(20:05):
two thousand four, at one of those moronic corporate speak
town halls. The bosses have just introduced Rick Caplan as
the new president of the network. Kaplan speaks for an
hour without interruption or breath. He does not mention that
he was the president of CNN when it's nineteen years
streak at number one in the cable news ratings came
to a crashing end. He does, however, mention that he
(20:27):
is six ft seven inches tall, but he does not
seem to be six ft seven inches tall. As this
nonsense ends, I rushed into the men's room and find,
to my amusement, Joe Scarborough, Chris Matthews, Jesse Ventura, Lester Holt,
and one unoccupied urinal. As I moved to occupy it,
(20:51):
it dawns on me that Ventura, the former professional wrestler,
is the shortest man in the bathroom, at six ft two.
All five of us are silent. Finally, Matthews says it
on hell, can he say six ft seven? He's barely
taller than I am and I'm six four? Oh man,
are you slightly taller than me? Or slightly shorter than me?
(21:12):
How is he six seven? Everybody keeps looking forward, of course,
into the wall in front of us. I'm six three
and a half. Lester, he's your height. I saw you
standing with him. You toour even What are you six five?
Lester says, uh huh and flushes. Scarborough chimes in, I'm
just over six four. We're almost died, ie, he's not
(21:34):
six seven. Finally, Ventura speaks, I've been thrown around a
ring by guys who are six seven. Bosky is not
six seven. From the sink, Lester Holt now says, have
any of you known anybody our height who lies and
says they're taller? Matthews again, who lies about their height?
(21:54):
I flush this guy does. Gentlemen, we are in trouble
here for the presidency of Rick Camplin at MSNBC. That
have been sorry. I can't resist it the high water mark. Later,
on Friday, March five, two thousand four, Kaplan, who had
been there three weeks, assembled the hosts and producers of
(22:16):
the primetime shows on the network that would have been
me Scarborough. Dan abrams our staffs, the new Jersey staff
of Chris Matthew Show, and he told us that the
next day was going to be Monday. Somebody from Scarborough
staff helpfully corrected him, Mr Kaplan, I'm sorry, tomorrow is Saturday.
Kaplan sternly explained he was now president of this network,
(22:38):
and we all sucked. And if he said today was
Friday and tomorrow was Monday, then today was Friday and
tomorrow was Monday. He wanted to see us react to
sudden changes in our plans. We were being told we
were being called into work a sixth day tomorrow for
no reason. Kaplan then started yelling at us, You guys
(22:58):
don't get it. You're all working tomorrow. Anybody who doesn't
come in is fired. We're going to do the whole
probe prime time lineup. You're breaking news is today's breaking news,
the guilty verdict in the Martha Steward case. Start booking
your guests because tomorrow is Monday, not Saturday. Just on
my staff, Saturday was supposed to be my reporter's engagement party,
(23:22):
a surprise party thrown by one of my producers for
his wife's birthday, and the day another producer was closing
on buying a house. I have a vague memory of
what we put on the air. I have a stronger
memory of the new president of MSNBC losing the staffs
of all four of his primetime shows on his fifth
day on the job and never ever getting them back.
(23:45):
Kaplan then went to a corkboard on our office wall
on which our show rundown was displayed. He ordered producers
to move segments around, and he berated me for not
having anticipated his whims and at one point he screamed, stop,
what the hell are you doing? And he got up
and he grabbed the pushpin, which held up an index
card bearing the name of a guest. You don't use
(24:07):
green pins with yellow index cards. You use yellow pins
with yellow index cards. What kind of a newsman are you?
I can't imagine how this guy choked away CNNs monopoly
on cable news ratings. I was reminded recently that later
on December eight, two thousand five, seventeen years ago tomorrow,
(24:30):
he did one of the most unintentionally funniest things I
have ever witnessed. A plane slid off the runway at
Midway Airport in Chicago. Nothing funny about that, obviously, but
Kaplan called into our control room demanding we changed something
about our live coverage that he didn't like. We promptly
made the change. He was right. Five minutes later he
(24:51):
called in and started swearing at one of our producers.
I told you to change that. F you you're fired,
and the producer said, we changed it five minutes ago.
When you called in silence, Rick, are you watching the
at work on some sort of delay? Are you watching
on Tebow or something? Silence again. Finally he said, okay,
(25:13):
good work, see you tomorrow and hung up. He didn't
know he was watching it on a delay. Kaplan was
also one of these forget the mean thing I said yesterday.
God knows I have kind of guys. By Monday, he
had heard people laughing at some of my on air
jokes and his front runner instincts took over. He called
(25:33):
me and the producer in for a meeting. I have
only one criticism of your show. The which of these
stories will you be talking about? Things genius? The fifth story,
the fourth story, then the third story? It's original and fresh.
I hesitated. I almost said to him, yeah, this whole
counting thing we just invented that. The music is genius,
(25:54):
the graphics are genius. You're a genius, but you're missing
something obvious, something genius. After each one of these stories,
after you thank your guests, you should do a list
of the things you didn't tell us about. Those stories.
So so like, after the fifth story, you should say,
now here are the other five things we didn't tell
you about the fifth story, get it a full screen
graphic and you telling people, And then four things for
(26:14):
the fourth story, and and and three for the third.
I thought for a moment, and I said, okay, but
what happens if we make those graphics up? And then
a minute beforehand the guest brings up one of those
things we claim we didn't tell you. When he just
told you, we had lost Rick Kaplan's attention. By that point,
he grunted. For a second. I thought his eyes were
(26:37):
pointing outwards in different directions, but he snapped himself back
into this reality. Huh, could happen? You'll figure it out anyway.
Too late to do it today, figure it out and
do it tomorrow. Thanks the producer. And I had to
then explain to the staff of Countdown that from now on,
for every story they had to deliberately leave out one
(26:57):
or two or three or four or five facts or details,
something interesting enough to be made into a full screen graphic,
but not interesting enough to be included in their scripts
or the interviews with the guests. Suddenly, I thought a
lot of people's eyes were pointing outwards in different directions.
The line producer, Greg Cordick, who was in charge not
(27:18):
of content but of timing things and making sure things
like graphics got made, said, matter of factly, this will
add five hours to everybody's work day. And so it did.
After the next day's show when we listed the top
five things we didn't tell you about today's fifth story,
and the top four things we didn't tell you about
today's fourth story, etcetera, and we had to shorten all
(27:38):
the scripts and shorten each interview just to make room
for all of this extraneous crap. Greg, the producer, said,
people here will be quitting by Thursday and dying by Monday.
And I said, you're right. Plus it ruins the interviews
and it weakens the show. Don't do it tomorrow with
Kaplan yells, I'll take the eat. So now it's Wednesday.
And not only don't I hear anything from Kaplan about
(27:59):
the Tuesday show and his the top five things we
didn't tell you about today's fifth story, Jazz, but after
the Wednesday show when we don't do it, I'm sitting
there waiting for an enraged phone call because we didn't.
Thursday morning at home, I'm waiting for an enraged email.
Thursday afternoon, I'm waiting for an enraged chaplain in person. Nothing.
(28:20):
He never said a word. A week passes nothing, a month,
two months, it's summer. Nothing. The rest of two thousand
four flies by nothing. We did it once, we never
did it again, and then he never said anything. It
(28:41):
is now January two five, and he still hasn't said anything.
And I'm told by Phil Griffin, my first producer in
television sports and sixteen years my lader of my first
producer in television news, who has since become the vice
president of MSNBC, that Camplin wants to see us in
his office. It's not a big deal, Phil says, he's
in a good mood. He just wants to make us
feel like we have input into his decisions. This is
(29:03):
what do you think meeting now? I have to ask
you to carefully picture the layout of Rick Caplan's office
at MSNBC in the year two thousand five. Envision a long,
narrow room. Baseball's MLB network now operates there, and they
have cleverly turned Kaplan's office into a wardrobe room. Perfect
(29:23):
since it was really just a long closet. Anyways. Rick Caplan,
who was six ft five but lied and said he
was six ft seven, sat at the very back of
this room. So you come in the front door, you
turn to your right, and maybe thirty five forty feet
away from you, in the farthest corner, facing his computer
on his desk, flush against the left hand wall, is
(29:45):
the president of MSNBC. A few feet into the room
is where you sit. Halfway between these two points. Against
the right hand wall is where another executive can sit.
So Phil Griffin sits there. I am just inside the door.
He is fifteen feet ahead of me to the right.
Rick Camplin is thirty ft or forty feet ahead of
(30:06):
me to the left. Picture this carefully, the way these
chairs and desks are arranged. If you're me and Phil
Griffin is looking at you, Rick Kaplan can only see
the back of Phil Griffin's head and not his face.
If they are both looking at you, they cannot see
each other. Weird, seemingly trivial turned out to be essential.
(30:30):
We begin this meaningless meeting and talk about guests and graphics, fonts,
and Kaplan talks about how much the ratings have gone
up in his year as president. And finally, I say,
I do have one suggestion. I think the show is
going to be very successful, and I think if we
want to make any changes, we should make them now
before it becomes successful. And I say, I have never
(30:51):
heard anybody say they like the fifth story, fourth story,
third story stuff. If you want to continue the name
countdown because people know it by now, that's great, I guess.
But the five three to one numbering is a conceit
and it's a lot of extra work for everybody, and
I think we should kill it now. Kaplan is aghast,
(31:14):
he is pale, He is not angry, he is just stunned.
But you can't do that. Five three to one is
part of the reasons. And the ratings went up. The
ratings went up. When I came up with the idea
of the top five things we didn't tell you about
today's top five stories, and the top four things we
(31:34):
didn't tell you about today's number four story, etcetera, Well
we can't stop that. That's why people watch my idea.
It took me a split second to even remember what
the hell it was he was talking about. I had
forgotten the whole five things we didn't tell you Albatross
weeks after the one show we did it, and then
(31:56):
the staff rebelled and I said, screw it and I'll
take the heat. And I was about to say this
out loud when I suddenly realized that Phil Griffin, fifteen
feet away on the right, his face turned to me
and thus invisible to Kaplan thirty ft away on the left,
was making his eyes as wide as possible, and Phil
was looking right at me and silently mouthing the word no, no, no, no, no,
(32:17):
all the while keeping his head completely still, so Kaplan
didn't know he was talking to me silently. I got
Phil's message. I dropped the subject. I didn't say it.
The meeting ended maybe two minutes later with Kaplan saying
keep up the good work, and ushering us out by saying,
and keep up with the top five things we didn't
(32:38):
tell you about today's five fifth story. That's what's making
it really cook. When we were out of earshot of
Rick Caplan, Griffin thanked me for being able to read
his panicked lips. I used an oath to liven up
my question what the blank was that all about? And
Griffin said, now you know what every day of my
(32:59):
life has become. It's not worth it to try to
correct him. He believes what he believes, and and he
won't be checked or contradicted. And I said, we only
did the five things. We didn't tell you a thing once,
only once. It's like a year later. How in the
hell could he possibly think we're still doing it? Griffin laughed,
(33:21):
like a soldier on a World War One battlefield who
has just run out of bullets. See that's the problem, buddy.
He only watches MSNBC here in the office, the place
he's renting it doesn't have cable. President of MSNBC doesn't
have cable at home. On June six, two thousand six,
(33:44):
they fired Rick Kaplan as the president of MSNBC. They
let him resign. They also let him keep his secret,
the darkest of secrets for him and for MSNBC, that,
for his two years on the throne, the president of
an all news cable channel did not have cable. I've
(34:17):
done all the damage I can do here now for
five things I didn't tell you about today's number five story.
Thank you for listening. Please follow, or subscribe or whatever,
and tell others to do so. Here are the credits
Most of the music, including our theme here from Beethoven's
Ninth was arranged, produced, and performed by Brian Ray and
John Philip Chanelle. They are the Countdown musical directors. Guitars,
(34:40):
bass and drums by Brian Ray, all orchestration and keyboards
by John Philip Chanelle, produced by T k O Brothers.
Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by the
group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Oulderman
theme from ESPN two. It was written by Mitch Warren
Davis and it appears courtesy of ESPN Inc. Musical comments
(35:01):
by Nancy Faust. The best baseball stadium organist ever our
announced you today was Larry David. Everything else was pretty
much my fault. So that's countdown for this, the first
day since Donald Trump's first attempted coop against the democratically
elected government of the United States. Arrest him now while
we still can a new addition tomorrow. Until then, I'm
(35:21):
Keith Alderman. Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck.
Countdown with Keith Alderman is a production of I heart Radio.
For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i
heart Radio app Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your
(35:42):
podcasts
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio.
Fifty years ago, I read a line from the baseball
(00:25):
historian Harold Seymour about the president of a mortally wounded
nineteenth century baseball league, and it has stuck with me
ever since. Henry V. Lucas resembled a person with his
arms full of packages, trying to retrieve them as they fell.
Each time he reached for one, he dropped one or
two more, and so never quite succeeded in recovering them all.
(00:50):
Donald Trump right, Trump's packages keeps spill into that pavement.
Trumpian Package number one by four Eastern last night, Long
before even his own cook political report would officially call
the race the impeccable election, analyst Dave Wasserman issued is
now cherished call of I've seen enough, and he gave
the Georgia runoff to Senator Rafael Warnock. Nine minutes later,
(01:13):
long before his New York Times made an official prediction,
It's figure, Philbert Nate Cohn added, we think Raphael Warnock
is on track to win, and however disturbing the volume
of votes Walker actually got may turn out to be
one of those parts of Georgia like like one endless
loop of the movie Deliverance. As disturbing as that thought is,
(01:37):
this will be three final Senate votes in Georgia in
just over two calendar years, all won by the Democrats,
the first one giving the party control of the Senate
and the second expanding its margin in Georgia, defeating Donald
Trump's handpicked village idiot. Three consecutive repudiations of Trump, just
(01:59):
at the Senate level, just in the state of Georgia.
I wonder how they will explain this to Herschel. I
don't mean that metaphorically nor analytically. I literally mean how
are they gonna make Herschel understand what has happened? As
one Twitter wag phrased it last night, quote feel bad
for Herschel Walker really thought he was the lying, violent, disturbed,
(02:21):
brain damaged Texan. Georgia needed Trumpian package number two. I
am still not fully convinced that the Special Council isn't
another Merrick Garland slow walk. But Jack Smith is clearly
not just sitting there. In fact, missed in the news
yesterday that he has subpoenaed local election officials in Arizona, Michigan,
(02:41):
and Wisconsin for records of any contact with Trump and
the Trump campaign and assorted Trump henchman. Is the fact
that last time we heard anything about Smith's remit, he
was supposedly prosecuting the one six coup attempt and Marilago.
Whatever he is doing, Smith has clearly expanded his field
of investigation to now include electoral interference like the I
(03:05):
just want to find eleven thousand, seven eight votes crime
in Georgia and maybe even the fake elector's scheme. To
drilling down a little into Package number two. What is
also fascinating about the subpoenas is a the time frame
any contact between the local Arizona, Michigan and Wisconsin officials
and the Trumpists from June one to January and be
(03:31):
the list of those correspondents actual low profile Trump campaign
attorneys like Justin Clark and Matthew Morgan, but also the
array of nut job conspiracy theorists John Eastman, Rudy Giuliani,
Clita Mitchell, and Sydney Powell, Trumpian Package number three falling
(03:51):
to the ground. Okay, for all of the effectiveness of
its presentation during its hearings, the January six Committee has
not exactly shown the same kind of slickness in terms
of this little question of criminal referrals. First Chairman Bennie
Thompson said they had decided to make them. Everybody printed
that story yesterday. Then he said they had decided to
(04:13):
probably make them, but weren't sure how many. Then he
said they had decided that criminal referrals will happen, but
they weren't sure for who. Then he said the committee
was meeting virtually last night to settle this. This is embarrassing,
this undermines credibility. But none of the self contradicting options
that Thompson spat out included no, we're not going to
(04:35):
refer criminally. Somebody ramped it up one more notch by
asking him if there is a list of who the
committee might make criminal referrals on if it goes ahead
and makes them as he said it will or probably will,
or has decided to but hasn't decided to yet. Thompson said,
of course, yes, but I can't give them to you
(04:56):
right now. A Trumpian package number four. It took a
New York jury just a day to convict the Trump
Organis Station on all seventeen counts of tax fraud and
other charges. Trump executives got off the books, perks, apartments,
luxury cars, even free cable television. Wow, free cable? What
(05:21):
a perk provided? This is? Anyway, the jury did not
buy the Trump defense that chief financial officer Alan Weislberg
did this just for himself. In fact, to convict under
New York state law, they had to believe he did
this for the company's benefit as well. Trump of course
responded by issuing a statement blaming Weislberg Trumpian Package number
(05:45):
five Rona McDaniel's surprise. Now, Seriously, it's one thing to
have members of the fascist establishment turned their backs on
Trump like the Murdocks. It's quite another to have shameless,
spineless opportunists and former Trump loyalists like Rona do so
laying the groundwork for the Georgia runoff last night. She
in on Fox News yesterday and came as close as
(06:07):
she practically can without dropping out of the race for
the chairmanship to blaming Trump in advance for herschel Walker's loss. Quote.
There were many in saying don't vote by mail unquote,
she means Trump. Quote, don't vote early. She means Trump,
and we have to stop that. And she means Trump
(06:28):
there too, Trumpian Package number six, his written threat to
terminate the Constitution, or his denial that he wrote what
you know he wrote, or his slightly reworded threat to
do the same damn thing. None of those are going
away yet. Now It is the work of one of
Washington's most dramatic performers, John Bolton. But Bolton did work
(06:51):
in the Trump administration, and he says he is willing
to launch his own presidential bid just a get on
a debate stage to try to thwart Trump directly. That statement,
Bolton added yesterday, is a time bomb sitting on the
desk of every Republican member of the House and the Senate,
every Republican candidate around the country. I think he met
(07:13):
it metaphorically. Trumpian Package number seven, the Terminator Jazz has
stripped away any illusion that Mitch McConnell is not at
war with Trump, and maybe at open war with him. Shortly,
the Senate Minority Leader emerged from his shell just long
enough to point out the fallacy of ignoring the Constitution.
If you happen to be the government official supposedly in
(07:36):
charge of defending the Constitution, anyone seeking the presidency thanks
to the Constitution could shall now be suspended or not followed.
It seems to me would have a very hard time
being sworn in as president of the United States. Wow, Mitch,
almost the bare minimum you should say if the leader
(07:58):
of your party has just threatened to terminate all are
part of the constitution? Semi all done, But don't worry.
Mitch successfully managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of
moral victory the second straight you come out. Can you
(08:19):
not support him? What I'm saying is if it'd be
pretty hard to be sworn in to the presidency if
you're not willing to uphold the Constitution. That's what I said,
and I just said it again. Of course, that answer
doesn't even hold together in the smarmy way McConnell meant it.
(08:41):
Why would Trump's vow to terminate the constitution stop him
from swearing to uphold the constitution? He just you know why. Happily,
Mitch still got his thanks to Trumpian Package number eight.
The stench of Trump's January six coup attempt is not
going away either, and yesterday it attached to itself to
(09:02):
his nearest proxies at hand at the ceremony in which
the Capitol Police were to be honored with the Congressional
Gold Medal. They would be Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy.
The mother of the late officer Brian sick Nick, and
family members of other recipients agreed beforehand to shake the
hand of Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer after receiving their medals,
(09:24):
but leave McConnell and McCarthy hanging their hands outstretched for
handshakes they will never get. They later chastise McCarthy for
his obvious collusion with the Trump mob the impending Kangaroo
Court investigation of the investigation into the culpability of Trump
and the Republican Party for January six. There have been
(09:44):
few more satisfying moments in the nearly two years since
Trump tried to terminate the Constitution, terminate the peaceful transfer
of power, terminate the democracy, and terminate the lives of
any peace officer who stood in their evil way. May
that eighth package Trump can't handle, containing that one photo
of Mrs sick Nick humiliating McCarthy and McConnell be remembered
(10:08):
forever by Senator Warnock Still ahead, the San Francisco Giants
announced it they have signed the big free agent outfielder. No, no,
(10:32):
this one is named Mitch Mitch Haniger. The other one
is Aaron Judge, who at last check looked likely to
sign with the San Francisco Giants and leave the New
York Yankees. But after one of the greatest spell correct
typos of all time, at least some of us will
forever know him as Arson Judge in Fuego. Exactly when
(10:56):
does Kanye West hit rock bottom? Who knew that Simpsons
scene where Homer keeps falling down Chasm after Chasm was
a documentary Kanye West? But there you are. The latest
comments are indicative of profound emotional illness and frankly, I
don't care anymore. And he was the president of MSNBC
and seventeen years ago. This week we found out the darkest,
(11:19):
ugliest secret possible about the head of a cable TV
news network. This guy didn't have cable TV at home.
Things I promised not to tell. Coming up, that's next.
This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith coming up
(11:45):
on countdown. Well, the San Francisco Giants might have signed
Aaron Judge, but who will sign Arson Judge and the
six ft five inch Network TV President who used to
lie and say he was six ft seven inches tall,
along with other crazy things and things I've promise not
to tell. First in each edition of Countdown, we feature
(12:08):
a dog in need you can help. Every dog has
its day. Once again, we turn to the kindness of
a Lane Boosler, whose group Tales of Joy will take
care of the ordinary expenses for a year if you
adopt Eddie off the kill list at the New York Pound.
Eddie E d d y, friendly social with a velvet
black coat. He has shut down in the pound and
(12:29):
they could kill him at any point. You can adopt
or foster Eddie if you are anywhere on the East
Coast from Virginia to Maine and you are willing to
come get him, or you can pledge to help a
rescue save him. You can find Eddie on my Twitter
feeds and your retweet of his story can help him
as well. I thank you, and Eddie, thanks you. This
(13:14):
is Sports Center. Wait check that not anymore. This is
Countdown with Keith in sports Cody Bellinger, Who's descent from
National League Most Valuable Player to one six hitter is
one of the most dramatic collapses in sports history. Has
(13:35):
left the Los Angeles Dodgers to sign a one year
contract with the Chicago Cubs for seventeen and a half
million dollars. He will try free agency again next winner,
having presumably improved on his previous seasons this year. As
to the big fish of the baseball free agent waters,
the San Francisco Chronicle beat writer for the Giants, Susan
Slusser says rumbling among Giants players and other personnel that
(13:58):
Aaron Judge is coming aboard. Yankees, played by play man
Michael Ka reports a text to him reading, the Bankees
are still in play. My own meager sources say they're understanding.
Is Judges set on the Giants. The money is agreed upon.
They are now just ironing out the perks college football.
I don't know whether to praise J. C. Daniels dedication
(14:20):
or damn him as a mercenary. I just keep hearing
the line from Citizen Kane in my head. When Kane's
managers asked about Kine going to Harvard, Harvid, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Switzerland,
he was thrown out of a lot of colleges. J T.
Daniels started his college career as the quarterback at USC,
then transferred to Georgia to get more playing time than
(14:41):
transferred to West Virginia, and now at West Virginia, he
says he will transfer again, all in hopes of breaking
through and subsequently getting drafted by an NFL team after
his four college career, Thank you, Nancy Faust, and after
(15:18):
fifteen years one of the best reputations in sports, the
Montreal Canadians Hall of Fame caliber goalie Carry Price may
have ended his career. First, he came out in favor
of a right wing organization fighting gun control legislation in Canada,
and he complained that a gun he favored to hunt
with was going to be banned. It isn't going to
(15:39):
be banned. Then it turned out the organization that he
supported had used the word Polly as a discount code
for merchandise. As the anniversary of the mass shooting by
an anti feminist at Montreal's at Cold Polytechnique approached. Then
the Canadian said Price was unaware of the Polly shooting
and it was all coincidence. Then yesterday Price said no,
(16:00):
he was aware of it. There are now hockey people
calling for the team to set her all ties with
its future Hall of Fame goalie carry Price ahead. I
(16:24):
have spoken of him before, Rick Kaplan, the one time
MSNBC president who tried to kill me because I mentioned
blood on the air and he was squeamish about blood.
Now it is the anniversary of one of his most
jaw dropping moments, even with that as context. Also, he
used to lie about being six ft seven when he
was actually six ft five. Who does that? Coming up
(16:48):
first of the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons and
Dunning Kruger Effect specimens who constitute today's worst persons in
the world. Lebronze, Mary Kay Jacob and the New York
Post Real Estate section quote mets newest pitcher Max Scherzer
buys elegant five point four million dollar Long Island home,
reads the headline on her story from five thirty nine
(17:09):
pm yesterday, and there was a tweet to quoting The
move comes after Sherzer, thirty eight, agreed to a three year,
one million dollar contract with the Mets on November twenty nine.
Records indicate that Scherzer may have an had knowledge of
the deal a month prior, as the home was shown
to have gone into contract on October. Oh Big scoop.
There's a lot of wrong in this and starting with
(17:31):
this fact. The Mets newest pitcher is Justin Verlander Max Scherzer.
They signed him last year. The Post pulled the story
but left in the stuff about Sherz. You're signing his
new contract on novembery which was also last year. The
runner up in the New York Posts Sports section, John Hayman,
(17:52):
who gets a lot of good scoops but sometimes lets
himself down on the details, tweeted about baseball's biggest remaining
free agent at two twenty Eastern quote Arson Judge appears
headed to the Giants. Three hours and seven minutes later,
Giants say they have not heard on Aaron Judge. My
apologies for jumping the gun. Okay, but what about Arson Judge?
(18:15):
Arson Judge? That name is gonna last, but our winner,
Speaking of things lasting, Kanye West. At some point this
idiot is going to hit rock bottom, but evidently not yet.
Does an interview with psycho twerp Nick Fuente's and the
founder of the ironically named Proud Boys, Gavin mckinnis, and
(18:36):
West says quote, Jews should work for Christians. I'll hire
a Jewish person in a second, if I knew they
were at a spy and I could look through their
phone and follow through their house and have a camera
all in their living room. Then Kanye West blamed Holocaust
remembrance on the victims, quoting again, you can't force your
(18:58):
pain on everyone else. Jewish people forgive Hitler today unquote.
I used to be sort of concerned, hoping somebody would
help this obviously mentally self destructing man out, But now
I just don't don't care. Kanye, to hell with you, West,
(19:18):
Today's worst person in the world. Finally to the number
one story on the Countdown on my favorite topic, me
and Things I Promised not to tell, And tomorrow is
seventeen years since this former MSNBC president Rick Kaplan, the
(19:43):
guy who wants to chased me around the studios threatening
to kill me because he was squeamish and I had
mentioned blood on the air, blew any remaining credibility he
had with us because he didn't know what was live
and what was on delay. However, this story starts in
the men's room at MSNBC. It is February seven and teen,
(20:05):
two thousand four, at one of those moronic corporate speak
town halls. The bosses have just introduced Rick Caplan as
the new president of the network. Kaplan speaks for an
hour without interruption or breath. He does not mention that
he was the president of CNN when it's nineteen years
streak at number one in the cable news ratings came
to a crashing end. He does, however, mention that he
(20:27):
is six ft seven inches tall, but he does not
seem to be six ft seven inches tall. As this
nonsense ends, I rushed into the men's room and find,
to my amusement, Joe Scarborough, Chris Matthews, Jesse Ventura, Lester Holt,
and one unoccupied urinal. As I moved to occupy it,
(20:51):
it dawns on me that Ventura, the former professional wrestler,
is the shortest man in the bathroom, at six ft two.
All five of us are silent. Finally, Matthews says it
on hell, can he say six ft seven? He's barely
taller than I am and I'm six four? Oh man,
are you slightly taller than me? Or slightly shorter than me?
(21:12):
How is he six seven? Everybody keeps looking forward, of course,
into the wall in front of us. I'm six three
and a half. Lester, he's your height. I saw you
standing with him. You toour even What are you six five?
Lester says, uh huh and flushes. Scarborough chimes in, I'm
just over six four. We're almost died, ie, he's not
(21:34):
six seven. Finally, Ventura speaks, I've been thrown around a
ring by guys who are six seven. Bosky is not
six seven. From the sink, Lester Holt now says, have
any of you known anybody our height who lies and
says they're taller? Matthews again, who lies about their height?
(21:54):
I flush this guy does. Gentlemen, we are in trouble
here for the presidency of Rick Camplin at MSNBC. That
have been sorry. I can't resist it the high water mark. Later,
on Friday, March five, two thousand four, Kaplan, who had
been there three weeks, assembled the hosts and producers of
(22:16):
the primetime shows on the network that would have been
me Scarborough. Dan abrams our staffs, the new Jersey staff
of Chris Matthew Show, and he told us that the
next day was going to be Monday. Somebody from Scarborough
staff helpfully corrected him, Mr Kaplan, I'm sorry, tomorrow is Saturday.
Kaplan sternly explained he was now president of this network,
(22:38):
and we all sucked. And if he said today was
Friday and tomorrow was Monday, then today was Friday and
tomorrow was Monday. He wanted to see us react to
sudden changes in our plans. We were being told we
were being called into work a sixth day tomorrow for
no reason. Kaplan then started yelling at us, You guys
(22:58):
don't get it. You're all working tomorrow. Anybody who doesn't
come in is fired. We're going to do the whole
probe prime time lineup. You're breaking news is today's breaking news,
the guilty verdict in the Martha Steward case. Start booking
your guests because tomorrow is Monday, not Saturday. Just on
my staff, Saturday was supposed to be my reporter's engagement party,
(23:22):
a surprise party thrown by one of my producers for
his wife's birthday, and the day another producer was closing
on buying a house. I have a vague memory of
what we put on the air. I have a stronger
memory of the new president of MSNBC losing the staffs
of all four of his primetime shows on his fifth
day on the job and never ever getting them back.
(23:45):
Kaplan then went to a corkboard on our office wall
on which our show rundown was displayed. He ordered producers
to move segments around, and he berated me for not
having anticipated his whims and at one point he screamed, stop,
what the hell are you doing? And he got up
and he grabbed the pushpin, which held up an index
card bearing the name of a guest. You don't use
(24:07):
green pins with yellow index cards. You use yellow pins
with yellow index cards. What kind of a newsman are you?
I can't imagine how this guy choked away CNNs monopoly
on cable news ratings. I was reminded recently that later
on December eight, two thousand five, seventeen years ago tomorrow,
(24:30):
he did one of the most unintentionally funniest things I
have ever witnessed. A plane slid off the runway at
Midway Airport in Chicago. Nothing funny about that, obviously, but
Kaplan called into our control room demanding we changed something
about our live coverage that he didn't like. We promptly
made the change. He was right. Five minutes later he
(24:51):
called in and started swearing at one of our producers.
I told you to change that. F you you're fired,
and the producer said, we changed it five minutes ago.
When you called in silence, Rick, are you watching the
at work on some sort of delay? Are you watching
on Tebow or something? Silence again. Finally he said, okay,
(25:13):
good work, see you tomorrow and hung up. He didn't
know he was watching it on a delay. Kaplan was
also one of these forget the mean thing I said yesterday.
God knows I have kind of guys. By Monday, he
had heard people laughing at some of my on air
jokes and his front runner instincts took over. He called
(25:33):
me and the producer in for a meeting. I have
only one criticism of your show. The which of these
stories will you be talking about? Things genius? The fifth story,
the fourth story, then the third story? It's original and fresh.
I hesitated. I almost said to him, yeah, this whole
counting thing we just invented that. The music is genius,
(25:54):
the graphics are genius. You're a genius, but you're missing
something obvious, something genius. After each one of these stories,
after you thank your guests, you should do a list
of the things you didn't tell us about. Those stories.
So so like, after the fifth story, you should say,
now here are the other five things we didn't tell
you about the fifth story, get it a full screen
graphic and you telling people, And then four things for
(26:14):
the fourth story, and and and three for the third.
I thought for a moment, and I said, okay, but
what happens if we make those graphics up? And then
a minute beforehand the guest brings up one of those
things we claim we didn't tell you. When he just
told you, we had lost Rick Kaplan's attention. By that point,
he grunted. For a second. I thought his eyes were
(26:37):
pointing outwards in different directions, but he snapped himself back
into this reality. Huh, could happen? You'll figure it out anyway.
Too late to do it today, figure it out and
do it tomorrow. Thanks the producer. And I had to
then explain to the staff of Countdown that from now on,
for every story they had to deliberately leave out one
(26:57):
or two or three or four or five facts or details,
something interesting enough to be made into a full screen graphic,
but not interesting enough to be included in their scripts
or the interviews with the guests. Suddenly, I thought a
lot of people's eyes were pointing outwards in different directions.
The line producer, Greg Cordick, who was in charge not
(27:18):
of content but of timing things and making sure things
like graphics got made, said, matter of factly, this will
add five hours to everybody's work day. And so it did.
After the next day's show when we listed the top
five things we didn't tell you about today's fifth story,
and the top four things we didn't tell you about
today's fourth story, etcetera, and we had to shorten all
(27:38):
the scripts and shorten each interview just to make room
for all of this extraneous crap. Greg, the producer, said,
people here will be quitting by Thursday and dying by Monday.
And I said, you're right. Plus it ruins the interviews
and it weakens the show. Don't do it tomorrow with
Kaplan yells, I'll take the eat. So now it's Wednesday.
And not only don't I hear anything from Kaplan about
(27:59):
the Tuesday show and his the top five things we
didn't tell you about today's fifth story, Jazz, but after
the Wednesday show when we don't do it, I'm sitting
there waiting for an enraged phone call because we didn't.
Thursday morning at home, I'm waiting for an enraged email.
Thursday afternoon, I'm waiting for an enraged chaplain in person. Nothing.
(28:20):
He never said a word. A week passes nothing, a month,
two months, it's summer. Nothing. The rest of two thousand
four flies by nothing. We did it once, we never
did it again, and then he never said anything. It
(28:41):
is now January two five, and he still hasn't said anything.
And I'm told by Phil Griffin, my first producer in
television sports and sixteen years my lader of my first
producer in television news, who has since become the vice
president of MSNBC, that Camplin wants to see us in
his office. It's not a big deal, Phil says, he's
in a good mood. He just wants to make us
feel like we have input into his decisions. This is
(29:03):
what do you think meeting now? I have to ask
you to carefully picture the layout of Rick Caplan's office
at MSNBC in the year two thousand five. Envision a long,
narrow room. Baseball's MLB network now operates there, and they
have cleverly turned Kaplan's office into a wardrobe room. Perfect
(29:23):
since it was really just a long closet. Anyways. Rick Caplan,
who was six ft five but lied and said he
was six ft seven, sat at the very back of
this room. So you come in the front door, you
turn to your right, and maybe thirty five forty feet
away from you, in the farthest corner, facing his computer
on his desk, flush against the left hand wall, is
(29:45):
the president of MSNBC. A few feet into the room
is where you sit. Halfway between these two points. Against
the right hand wall is where another executive can sit.
So Phil Griffin sits there. I am just inside the door.
He is fifteen feet ahead of me to the right.
Rick Camplin is thirty ft or forty feet ahead of
(30:06):
me to the left. Picture this carefully, the way these
chairs and desks are arranged. If you're me and Phil
Griffin is looking at you, Rick Kaplan can only see
the back of Phil Griffin's head and not his face.
If they are both looking at you, they cannot see
each other. Weird, seemingly trivial turned out to be essential.
(30:30):
We begin this meaningless meeting and talk about guests and graphics, fonts,
and Kaplan talks about how much the ratings have gone
up in his year as president. And finally, I say,
I do have one suggestion. I think the show is
going to be very successful, and I think if we
want to make any changes, we should make them now
before it becomes successful. And I say, I have never
(30:51):
heard anybody say they like the fifth story, fourth story,
third story stuff. If you want to continue the name
countdown because people know it by now, that's great, I guess.
But the five three to one numbering is a conceit
and it's a lot of extra work for everybody, and
I think we should kill it now. Kaplan is aghast,
(31:14):
he is pale, He is not angry, he is just stunned.
But you can't do that. Five three to one is
part of the reasons. And the ratings went up. The
ratings went up. When I came up with the idea
of the top five things we didn't tell you about
today's top five stories, and the top four things we
(31:34):
didn't tell you about today's number four story, etcetera, Well
we can't stop that. That's why people watch my idea.
It took me a split second to even remember what
the hell it was he was talking about. I had
forgotten the whole five things we didn't tell you Albatross
weeks after the one show we did it, and then
(31:56):
the staff rebelled and I said, screw it and I'll
take the heat. And I was about to say this
out loud when I suddenly realized that Phil Griffin, fifteen
feet away on the right, his face turned to me
and thus invisible to Kaplan thirty ft away on the left,
was making his eyes as wide as possible, and Phil
was looking right at me and silently mouthing the word no, no, no, no, no,
(32:17):
all the while keeping his head completely still, so Kaplan
didn't know he was talking to me silently. I got
Phil's message. I dropped the subject. I didn't say it.
The meeting ended maybe two minutes later with Kaplan saying
keep up the good work, and ushering us out by saying,
and keep up with the top five things we didn't
(32:38):
tell you about today's five fifth story. That's what's making
it really cook. When we were out of earshot of
Rick Caplan, Griffin thanked me for being able to read
his panicked lips. I used an oath to liven up
my question what the blank was that all about? And
Griffin said, now you know what every day of my
(32:59):
life has become. It's not worth it to try to
correct him. He believes what he believes, and and he
won't be checked or contradicted. And I said, we only
did the five things. We didn't tell you a thing once,
only once. It's like a year later. How in the
hell could he possibly think we're still doing it? Griffin laughed,
(33:21):
like a soldier on a World War One battlefield who
has just run out of bullets. See that's the problem, buddy.
He only watches MSNBC here in the office, the place
he's renting it doesn't have cable. President of MSNBC doesn't
have cable at home. On June six, two thousand six,
(33:44):
they fired Rick Kaplan as the president of MSNBC. They
let him resign. They also let him keep his secret,
the darkest of secrets for him and for MSNBC, that,
for his two years on the throne, the president of
an all news cable channel did not have cable. I've
(34:17):
done all the damage I can do here now for
five things I didn't tell you about today's number five story.
Thank you for listening. Please follow, or subscribe or whatever,
and tell others to do so. Here are the credits
Most of the music, including our theme here from Beethoven's
Ninth was arranged, produced, and performed by Brian Ray and
John Philip Chanelle. They are the Countdown musical directors. Guitars,
(34:40):
bass and drums by Brian Ray, all orchestration and keyboards
by John Philip Chanelle, produced by T k O Brothers.
Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by the
group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Oulderman
theme from ESPN two. It was written by Mitch Warren
Davis and it appears courtesy of ESPN Inc. Musical comments
(35:01):
by Nancy Faust. The best baseball stadium organist ever our
announced you today was Larry David. Everything else was pretty
much my fault. So that's countdown for this, the first
day since Donald Trump's first attempted coop against the democratically
elected government of the United States. Arrest him now while
we still can a new addition tomorrow. Until then, I'm
(35:21):
Keith Alderman. Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck.
Countdown with Keith Alderman is a production of I heart Radio.
For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i
heart Radio app Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your
(35:42):
podcasts
Host
Keith Olbermann
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