Daily Dad Jokes (31 May 2023)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: bkrank, Gear3017, Ynotasub, MaxCWebster, k_woz1978, Tinkerer221, ShockMonkey2001, yomommafool, FeralPixels, brother_p, Butterflies_Books
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Episode Transcript
I suspect that my wife has been adding soil to
the garden, but she denies it. The plot thickens. My
grandma went for her driver's license test, and she passed
my condolences to the instructor's family. I read a horror
(00:27):
story in Braille. I could feel something bad was about
to happen, but I didn't see it coming at all.
Amber Heart had a child with Charlie Sheen. They agreed
that the child would live with Charlie and take his
last name. The child was to be Sheen. Not heard.
(00:51):
My dad recently died, and in reading his will, discover
that he wanted his remains to be cremated and the
ashes pressed into a record. It was his vinyl request.
At the bus stop this morning, I found a suit
case of little furry kittens. Shocked, I immediately called nine
one one. They asked me if the kittens were moving.
(01:13):
I said, I don't know, but that would explain the
suit case. If Jesus was real, they wouldn't call it
the Crucifixion. They would call it crucifix I got arrested
today for walking out of an art museum with a painting.
(01:33):
I'm just so confused because earlier when I asked the
security if I could take a picture, they said yes.
Julie Andrews said she bought a cheap lipstick that fell
apart and made her breath stink. Her supercolor fragile lipstick
gave her halitosis. What you call men who make women
(02:01):
belong in the kitchen Jokes single, I'm Bob Jeffe. Keep
listening for a bonus dad joke. We want to bring
some humor into your day. Share the laughs or groans
with your family and friends. Have a great night, and
(02:21):
I'll be back tomorrow with more jokes. Thank you for
tuning in. Looking for more dad joke humor to share,
Then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our
weekly roundup of the best dad jokes, memes and humor
for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and
(02:43):
sign up today. Check the sign up link in the
show notes page or visit Daily Dad Jokes Podcast dot com.
Do you have your own dad joke you want to share?
Join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their own
dad jokes through my voicemail. Please spread the laughs and
groans and submit your own dad joke to our voicemail
with the best to be included in special fan episodes.
Just leave your name, the city and state you live in,
(03:04):
and your best dad joke. Call nine seven eight three
nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number.
It's nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six.
Or check the show notes page for the number I
look forward to hearing from you. The Daily Dad Jokes
podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
(03:25):
page for social media links and joke credits. When I
was a boy, the Jetsons gave me unrealistic expectations about
the future, like having a job, a loving family, and
a dog.
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