Influencing Families w/ Amber & Beyn Wallin

Making the choice to share your family on social media can be rewarding in so many ways. But it can also be very annoying. In this episode, the Ellises talk with social media stars Amber & Beyn Wallin about what it takes to keep a bag as family influencers. Dead ass.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
In order to do social media as a family, your
spouse does not have to agree with everything you.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Want to do.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
We are living proof.

Speaker 4 (00:10):
I'm happy to know that I'm not the only spouse
in the two that was not signed.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Up for this shit, but I'm enjoying the hell out
of it. Dead ass.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured, and we're the Ellis's.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
You may know us from posting funny videos with.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Our voice and reading each other publicly as.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
A form of therapy.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yes, sir, we are.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
li's most taboo topics.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Things most folks don't want to talk about.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
To take billow talk to our whole new level.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
Dead ass starts right now.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
All right, So we're gonna talk about we really talked
about this, but uh, in honor of our guest today,
I have a special song for them because it represents
them so well. They're comedians, they love to joke around,
so this song is dedicated to them.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
He got jungle feed, but she got Jump. That's not
the song. That's not the song.

Speaker 5 (01:34):
It doesn't matter. It's your black, old white going Saturday night.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Send me.

Speaker 5 (01:52):
I believe the miracles, Spight.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
I don't know none of them.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
It's taking me back to the Golden Girls with you
and Jackson. Lea didn't know none of the words.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
Thank you for being a friend.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
No, we can joke in karaoke because we understand this couple.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
So you meet this couple and see how funny they are,
you will understand everything.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yes for sure.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
All right, story time, So I'm gonna take y'all back
to two thousand and.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Eighteen Halloween.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
We had three sons at this point, and Kadeen and
I were in park Slope taking our boys to go
trick or treating, and I had this grand idea to
do a video, right, and the video was going to
be about bullying and how me and Jackson were fighting
against the bullies throwing eggs.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Right, So we pull up and we pull up and
see you.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Park and I'm like, all right, kay, were about to
do a video and Case sucker teeth, I'm like you
to suck.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
Your teeth for I'm just trying to trigger treat and
go home.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah see, you be trying to trick or treat and
go home.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
But all the stuff that needs to get paid for
for trick or treating gets paid more by these videos.
So if you're gonna tell me you want to do this,
you want to go ahead, you want to do that,
but then every time I'm trying to do work, it's
gonna be a problem. So I was like, Babe, all
we gotta do is do this video. Is gonna take
us about twenty minutes, and then we can go trick
or treating. Right every two minutes, Case sucking her teeth
romhas I freaking lose it.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
I freaking lose it in front of the kids. I'm like, nah, fuck, this,
ain't nobody going trick or treated. If we can't do
no videos, we going home. Jackson gonna look at me.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
So now I can't go trick or treat it because
y'all too, we'll argue about doing videos. At that part,
it kind of got to my spirit a little bit,
and I was like damn, I can't do this to
my son. So I was like, hey, look, look, look,
look look what you're doing. So at first, you know
I'm gonna do it all dads do. I blame mom.
I say, see what you're doing to the babies. You
see what you're doing to the babies. Can we just
do the.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Video real quick.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
It's gonna take fifteen minutes. We do video fifteen minutes,
and then we go trick or treated. She said, fine,
Grin and Barry right, we do the video. I post
a video before we go trick or treated. By the
time we started trick or treating thirty minutes later, we
had one hundred and seventy thousand views.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
I pointed.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
I said, hey, hey, you see this, babe. Look how
many views we got. I said, ain, no week I
got them views.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Okay, I'm a paid actress. Pay me, pay me in
this job that I did not apply for, sir.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Oh, you get paid. You get paid every other night
and twice on weekends.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
That was a good one though, because I remember we
were two seconds away from going home, and poor Jackson
was like, so we can't go trick or treat, So
why do we have a costume, So why did we
get a costume?

Speaker 2 (04:50):
That was a good time?

Speaker 6 (04:51):
Yay?

Speaker 3 (04:51):
It was social media life that I got bullied. I
got I got bullied into social media.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
You did, you know? And I'm unapologetic. I don't care.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
And now I'm the one like babes we're posting today.

Speaker 4 (05:01):
Yeah, I got to wait for them, but once the
bag started rolling in, I was just like, oh, this
is this is nice.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
This is nice.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
You're welcome, But listen, we're gonna take a quick break.
We have some special guests with us today. You want
to meet them when we come back.

Speaker 4 (05:18):
That's correct, Stay tuned, y'all will be back.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
All right, y'all, we're back. Thank you for sticking or around.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
Man, I remember those days where we used to fuss
and fight over content. Yes, and I said, you know what,
we should bring in some reinforcements. I want to talk
to some other families who deal with this whole social
media life and what that looks like, you know, because
sometimes it can be very very feeling oversaturated as a market,
but also very very lonely. Yes, And I just want

(05:51):
to know if anybody can empathize with me you know
what I'm saying. And Rowalland is a comedian, host, storyteller,
and director whose social media presence has won so many
of us over. We've watched her family grow from just
her and her husband Ben to now a family of three,
and now on their new Pad podcast, Fly on the Wallen,

(06:11):
which I absolutely love that Fly on the Wall and
Amber and Ben give us hilarious and insightful advice about
love and relationships. Amber and Ben thank you all so
much for being here.

Speaker 6 (06:22):
Hey, hello, Hello, It's so good to be here.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
So guys, Oh my god, so happy to have y'all were.

Speaker 7 (06:30):
I feel so validated by the story that was just told,
because in the early days, every single moment I was
stopping you like, let me get this for my Snapchat,
and then m became let me get this for my Instagram,
let me get this for my TikTok, and then that
first check wrote it, he was like, oh, get it,
get it for your garden now.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, yeah, let's be real.

Speaker 6 (06:49):
So I was a teacher at this point. I was
one moment really hit me when I was trying to
help a student and like, I'm sorry, mister Wallan, I
just saw you in your underwear yesterday on your work
talk account and I said, oh fudge, are we allowed
to swear can?

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (07:09):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. So I was like fuck. And
then one of and one of my co teachers one time,
as an April fool's joke, was like, Hey, the principal
wants to talk to you about your wife's TikTok account
and as a joke, and I was like, I'm going
to get fucking fired, Like that was his joke to me.
So I this might give some context to the hesitancy

(07:32):
of like not wanting to make everything a video. But yeah,
once the money started coming in, I was like, fuck
those kids, I'm ready to be.

Speaker 7 (07:43):
That's right.

Speaker 6 (07:44):
Well yeah, it's like yeah, yeah, you saw my wife's Instagram.
Have you seen her? Only fans like, let's go come on, Like.

Speaker 4 (07:54):
I got to trust magic about the only fans who
said we could make talk about Fly on the Wall
and people have said, man, wish we could be on
a Fly on the Wall with y'all because we're we're
almost certain that stuff goes down.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
I'll put some cameras on, you know.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
So shoot, talk about multiple streams.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
This is this is the biggest thing I think people
don't realize why vlogging is so important, right, and why
creating content is so important. We grew up during the
time where family matters, Fresh Prints, the Nanny, The world
was filled with family content, where people could watch other
families and say, hey, I can resonate with that when
you look at the way the world is now. They

(08:37):
do have reality shows, but typically these reality shows are
rooted in evils and mess and they want to see people,
you know, go through issues together. And it's very rare
that you find a reality show that's just all about community.
And I think that vlogging has taken a place for
that ninety sitcom right. You don't really see any more
nineties sitcoms anymore. Now you have YouTube pages and you

(08:59):
have YouTube family. So I think that this is definitely
a space where people who can create content and make
it relatable would also make it funny slightly scripted can
do well.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
So kudos to you.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Guys for seeing that up front and getting it done.

Speaker 7 (09:15):
I agree with that. I think I also grew up
in the era of like loving like the Flavor Flames,
like just kind of very crunchy, because I was, like,
I loved those shows growing up loved the Cosby family
and everything like that, but I was like, this family
is too perfect, Like you're a doctor, you're a lawyer,
and in my house it was kind of it was
the same busyness, but it was a little bit more

(09:36):
wild and chaotic. So I think, right, people people might
watch all all be like, look at this whost of family,
and people watch us and be like, Okay, we ain't
that mad, we we ain't quite that annoying. So I
think there's that level of like, wow, these girls won't flave. Okay,
I don't agree, but let me keep let me keep watching.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
Because we watched, We watched Flavor of It was Flavor
of Love, I Love New York. Who was the other guys?
It was the two brothers Chance.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Oh, and yes, were they a spin off from this?

Speaker 2 (10:06):
They will spin a real and Chance really Chance?

Speaker 6 (10:09):
Right?

Speaker 1 (10:09):
But those shows were also wholesome, even in their mess
because they weren't trying to break anybody up. They wanted
to see people find love, and not everybody's the bachelor
or the bachelorette. Sometimes you got somebody who's like a
Flavor of Love, who who may not be everyone's typical
person of love.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
But this is someone who wants to find someone to
spend with us in their life with.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
So I think that in a way, we all have
that type of love because when me and k first started,
we were into the apartment and we were struggling and
we were grinding, and there was nothing perfect about our
love story at that time, Like people had a lot
to say, they had a whole lot to say, but
we were able to work through it byt just continuously
being our authentic selves and the people were able to

(10:49):
find the love through all of the mess.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Similar to you, guys, I.

Speaker 4 (10:52):
Want our question for Ben because I feel like me
and Ben are kind of on the similar wavelength here,
but weren't necessarily signed up for this life, but here
we are and we're enjoying the bags that come in now.
But what was like the turning point for you other
than of course like it becoming lucrative. Did you just
fall in love with the idea of Amber, like just
really being committed to this or did you feel like

(11:13):
maybe she was onto something Like at what point did
it turn for you where you were like, oh, that's
a good question. Social media family thing may be a
thing for me.

Speaker 6 (11:20):
Well before I met Amber, I was a thestspian myself.
It's different than a lesbian an actor. So I did theater,
but I did theater in college. I loved like Tennessee
Williams Place. I loved like drama and like acting. And
we actually took improv classes together like some people get

(11:41):
marriage therapy, but we just took improv classes because it
was a little bit cheaper.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
And so.

Speaker 6 (11:48):
No, it is it's like there's yes anning and like
building characters, and I think there's a lot of like
marital like So I would recommend anybody who's married or
like in a long term relationship like taking improv class
because even if you're not comfortable with that, you can
really learn with that persons. This was all before this
was all before all of that. So I've always liked

(12:10):
acting with Amber. And Amber was like doing funny things
on snapchap and one time there's a comedian and I
really really respect Andy Rowl and he one time Amber
like put on a debaby song and I was like,
I can do something with this on my violin. So
I busted out my violin and I made this like
crazy like addition to this, this is when the baby

(12:32):
wasn't as controversial as he is now, and so I
did some like really cool stuff because I'm a classically
trained violinist and my and our friend and he was
like yeah, yeah, and Andy, thank you, thank you, and
I'm sorry you say this. Can you say this directly

(12:53):
to Amber? Like say that again?

Speaker 7 (12:54):
But like, look at Amber, Can I ask you what
it was like to support me? And on the table?

Speaker 6 (13:04):
So I was I was.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Tot him to do that.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
He said, you put me in this job that I
didn't apply for, So here's my resume.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
No one asked.

Speaker 6 (13:12):
I think. I think it was just a big moment
was when uh TikTok came about. Because the reach of
TikTok was so incredible and my ego is in need
of such boosting that when we started to get like
so many views, I was like, all right, this is
this is fun. And I it might have been I

(13:33):
think I don't it could have been the money, but
I think it was also just the fact knowing I
was making people laugh was so was so good and
making people not feel bad about themselves and we're like
it was positive content For the most part. It's pretty
like a political like but like we are you know,
so I anybody could laugh at what we did, we

(13:54):
would hope. And I think that's a really good way
to bring people together at a time of like very
absolutely bipolarization. And so I think the comedy is a
powerful tool. And so it was definitely probably the moment
of like TikTok, I think when I was like, Yeah,
this is this is great, let's do this.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Well, I'll say this.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
I want to pat Amber on the back of myself
on the back for showing you guys how to dig
into your talent groups and stop judging yourself and just
be who you really want to be. Because if it
wasn't for me and Amber, y'all would just be You
would be a teacher, you would be in the office,
y'all would just have miserable lives, not making people last,

(14:35):
not making people last, not not being.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Silly taking yourself.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
So, because I could see Ben right now being a
serious science teacher right now, if he wasn't doing this,
he would be very serious. Nobody everybody be quiet in
my class has spoken. So I want to thank Amber
on myself for forgetting you guys butterflies science teacher for sure.

Speaker 7 (14:59):
Yeah, I'm like I remind every time we go out
to eat and they say, still are sparkling. I'm like,
who do you love? Who do you love? Because we
didn't even know there was a question to be asked
in the before times.

Speaker 6 (15:14):
That's right, idea sparkling that I want. I want toilet
bowl water personally for me, I want the cheapest water.

Speaker 7 (15:23):
I tell them all the time, like when I when
I met him, he was slipping on the food time. Okay,
so I'm like, remember remember that when you start arguing
with me, you could go back to that food time life.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
Okay, yow again.

Speaker 4 (15:36):
Hostile over here and these dead ass fly on the
wall and streets right now.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
But no, but but but to be honest, man, someone
has to jump out the window and say we can
do this. There has to be someone, But there has
to be I was going to try and see that,
but I couldn't get it down.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
I just wanted to pat me and Ben on the backroom.
But go ahead.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
But I was trying to give you your flowers, but
you took your flowers and snatched and take your flowers,
you and bend and run with your flowers.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
All right, it's it right.

Speaker 4 (16:01):
What's set up on the corner in New York Ben
can play the violin out tad.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
Dance and we'll just like make some money that way.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
Literally we'll be earning our keep to Ben. Right.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
But no, but seriously, though, this shows you how like realistically,
when Ben said improv classes is good for marriage, I
agree because the biggest thing with improv is listening. What
people don't realize is that if you really want to
communicate well in your marriage, you got to listen. People
think communication is just knowing what to say to get
your pointed.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
For us, no, communication is about listening.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
And when I took improv classes in college and in
post college, it was all about, you know what, let
me understand where my partner's coming from.

Speaker 6 (16:39):
Right.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
So this is kudos to all four of us to
finding a way to listen to what our partner is
saying and being a support system even if we didn't
see the vision, right because you guys first didn't see
the vision. But it's like, you know what, I love
this person and they have a passion for it, so
let me rock out and us not knowing that us
knowing that y'all didn't see the vision, but being like,
you know what, I see something in this person and

(16:59):
we can do this. So that's entrepreneurship. Entrepreneur is a
huge improv class.

Speaker 7 (17:05):
Yeah, cause you you literally you can't do the scene
by yourself. You can try, but if people are signing
up to see a scene, not a one woman show,
you you kind of at some point need somebody. And
I was, I know, in the beginning, I was very
nervous because I had my own comedy career in Chicago
and TikTok is the land of TikTok is the land

(17:25):
of you see one interesting thing in the back of
somebody's video, and then everybody in the comments is looking
at that interesting thing. So I think it literally became
sort of one time Ben walking through and obviously people
are like, who is that white man in your house?
And then I was like, oh, y'all, don't y'all don't
want to talk to Ben. They were like, actually we do.
We want to learn more. And it's like, you know,

(17:45):
that was a shock to my ego. First, I was like,
what a woman in comedy, years of improv and stand
up classes and y'all want to see Ben. You know
that that mob scene where like SpongeBob just mopping the
floor in the back and squit was like, I'm playing
a clarinet. What's everybody looking at?

Speaker 6 (18:01):
Right?

Speaker 7 (18:03):
That's kind of how Ben started. And eventually I kind
of had to humble myself and be like, you know what,
he is a part of it, and you kind of
need a dramatic character and then like the straight man
of the scene to respond off of. That's how every
like every movie works that way, every good sitcom.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Works that way.

Speaker 7 (18:19):
You can't just have too crazy so or you can't
have two muted characters. So it really did end up
working for the best. And you know, you know when
babies get involved that that's just like we have to
talk about anybody else on the internet because it's like, no,
we got enough content in our home.

Speaker 6 (18:34):
Well, Amber is very clearly the director, Like Amber is
a writer at heart. Like recently we went to a
bar and she read me some of her stand up
and I was like vomiting, like of laughter, like I
was throwing off my whist.

Speaker 7 (18:47):
I was like, say it right, You're like I was
vombing it. It was so bad.

Speaker 6 (18:50):
It was so funny. I like I was like crawling
on the floor laughing, like drinking like a nicer whiskey.
And I was really upset that she made me spit
out my whiskey. But like it's very clearly I think
if people follow us long enough, that Amber is the director,
Like she knows what she's doing, and so all all
our successes come down to you know her, because as

(19:14):
what the Great Nini leaks said, like no one knew
me before they knew you or something like that. I
don't know, that's what you.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
Go to me, The Great Nini is a front of
the show.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
So yeah, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
So is it safe to say that for people who
aspire to do what we do right? The social media content,
the family content, and this is kind of the recipe
for it. You have the one person who's like the director,
the creator that has like is the innovator that knows
the comedy, the beasts and all that. And then you
have me and Ben, who's the person that falls in
line and just knows the.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
Script and just goes along with the flow.

Speaker 4 (19:51):
That pretty much kind of sums up what it looks
like right for a couple of.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Say it, if I'm being honest, yeah, I mean, I mean,
you know, you can't have a with too many you
can't have a kitchen with too many chefs, right, someone
has to follow, someone has to be the sioux chef.
But and also it takes a lot to be able
to flow with the direction that the director is going, right, Like,
I'm pretty sure Amber may think of some things up
the cuff, and it takes Ben to be able to

(20:15):
pick it up and do it.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
You do that for me very well.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
You know, I'll come with a script and a lot
of times in the beginning I'll tell, Okay, this is
what we're saying, this is the aim, and every time
we would do it, she would say some wild shit
that be hilarious, and she'd be like, oh, was I
supposed to say that? I'm like, nah, just keep going,
I do write it, Just keep going. And then just

(20:38):
like you, I'm like, Kay became the star, and I
was just like, yo, like there can be two stars
in here. And people ask us all the time, right
like how will y'all how do y'all deal with being married?

Speaker 2 (20:48):
And who's the most important person? And I'm like, nobody
really be thinking about that over here.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
We provide content based on what happens in our life,
and if one wins, we both win.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
And a lot of times this videos, I think I'm
gonna be the star in the video. She to start.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
Then there's some videos all right, and I'm like, yo, okay,
they gonna think this is funny, and Davo was funny.
So I'd like, forget trying to be who's the star.
Let's just put out the content and it's.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
And then you roll the kids into it. Now, so
you guys have a three year old?

Speaker 4 (21:13):
Is it?

Speaker 7 (21:14):
She sixteen months?

Speaker 3 (21:20):
I don't know where are not three year old from? Okay,
so three of.

Speaker 6 (21:23):
Us don't put those years on us yet, no way.

Speaker 4 (21:28):
Jet A by the bags on the eyes, she about
three second, you'll never sleep again ever in life.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
So I'm welcome, welcome, y'all.

Speaker 4 (21:38):
So when you start adding the layer of children like
you said now too, then that becomes like an added
layer of content, right because people then are just like,
forget de valecadeen, forget we want to see the babies.
At this point, I mean, she can't really tell you
guys if she wants to be on camera or not.
So that's gonna be another added layer when she starts
talking and letting you know what she wants and doesn't want.
Because with us having four children, we have like one

(22:01):
we have one that's just like, no, I.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
Don't want to do it. No, I don't want to
do a video.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
No, not for and we're cool with it.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
And the funny thing is people will be like people
will be like, how come kas ain't in any in
the videos?

Speaker 2 (22:11):
And I'm just like, kads don't want to be in
the video.

Speaker 3 (22:13):
I don't care about y'all.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
To draw, he wants to pain. He don't want to
talk to nobody. So we like, go ahead and do
what you want to do, so.

Speaker 4 (22:21):
For sure, So we laugh in jokes sometimes about dead
ass being in our what almost eleven twelve season. At
this point, I'm being almost like a form of therapy
for us as a couple because we get to just
actively talk about things that I mean, sometimes stuff come
up here just in conversation and I'm like, I didn't
know you felt like what that?

Speaker 6 (22:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (22:43):
Or he'd be like, hey, really like these surprise aha
moments like who are you? Who am I sleeping next
to this stranger? So we speak openly and candidly, but
we also like to bring levity to challenges and stuff
that come along with marriage. So have you guys felt
the same way at all with having just social media
content or even your podcast. Has that worked for you

(23:03):
guys in terms of being married couple but also speaking
about things so openly, Oh for sure.

Speaker 6 (23:11):
I mean I actually write things to bring up on
the podcast because the podcast is like a buffer, because
she can't get too mad at me on.

Speaker 7 (23:19):
You know, he'll be like, okay, so this ps far
for the listeners purposes. I'm like, now we are four k.

Speaker 6 (23:29):
Right, and I'll yeah, I think I think in some
ways I things will come up. But we have definitely
like things have come up on a podcast and it
got too real and so we had to like edit
that out or like oh wait, no, no, no, we're
not ready to talk about this yet, anything like being

(23:49):
which is fair, which yeah, because it is like this
in many ways, what y'all are doing is an open
journal for people because you are talking things and then
sometimes you need to like edit that. And so I
found podcasting, even if we had zero listeners, I found
it just helpful for us to communicate and to listen.
Like one time Amber was editing the podcast, She's like,

(24:12):
I talk over you too much, you know what I mean.

Speaker 7 (24:15):
Yeah, it's great like a highlight tape almost because You're like,
there it is on display. I have to edit it,
and I'm like, I can't even use this clip because
I was talking over my person. So like, mister, which
I'm sure you told me for years, but I was like,
the writing is on the wall here, so podcast, I said,
he had to say it as it.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
So, yeah, I've been telling my wife a long time too,
and she don't care. We got into an argument last night. Now,
well it wasn't an argument, it was a discussion. And
I said two words and she just went on. Six
minutes later, she's like, you understand, and I was just like, yeah, yeah,
I got it. I said, do you understand where I'm
coming from? She said where where you coming from? I said,
you don't know because you wouldn't let me speak. And

(24:57):
she said, well that's fine, that's fine as long as
we're in under standing. And she walked away.

Speaker 7 (25:02):
But we done here, But did you understand?

Speaker 1 (25:06):
I did understand. I understood. I was just like, what
I understand is that you don't care about how.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Well we arrive at the.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Doll. We arrive at the destination the Lord, that's funny,
but I mean I think that we just take it
in stride. Because it takes a lot of guts for
us to do what we do to be able to share.
I know when I started doing the social media content
with Deval, my family was not sold on it. Do
y'all get any backlash from your family members about like

(25:35):
putting too much out there? Because I know at first
my family was just like, girl, why are you talking
about your issues on social media?

Speaker 3 (25:42):
This is crazy? Why why are cameras in your house?

Speaker 4 (25:44):
I'm like, it's not cameras, it's the phone, you know,
But after editing and producing content, it looks like it's
an actual.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
Footage of people in our homes.

Speaker 6 (25:52):
You know.

Speaker 3 (25:52):
Do you guys get any backlash from family members and stuff?

Speaker 7 (25:55):
Yeah, especially in early days when they're not when they're
just saying the storytelling and the sharing and they're not
seeing you know, Jp Morgan's benefits, right, They're not seeing
they're not seeing capital one. But I think now, you know,
because our parents are from the generation of like, family
don't air out your laundry, and family business is family business,
and don't let people see the almost like the holes

(26:18):
in your ship and your boats, and so I think
for that generation, they're like, you're sharing your marital issues
to other people, why they're gonna think you're falling apart.
But people feel more seen when they're like, Okay, everybody's
marriage isn't perfect because they did come from They came
from the the era of keeping up with the Joneses,
and I think everybody is now like we're a mess.

(26:40):
You two great, let's talk about it. So I think
I think there's more money in that when people feel
like they're on FaceTime with us versus just like aesthetically
pleasing Instagram couples.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
For me personally, yeah, so and that hey, listen, that's
the truth.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
I told Kay because k used to when I used
to start videos in the morning.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
She'd have a it on. She like wait wait, wait,
wait wait, let me I said no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
No, let me brush my teeth.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
I said no, let them smell your breath through the phone,
like I gotta smell it every morning, Like let them
see how real it is. Keep the bonnet on, don't
brush your teeth. And people would literally say, I ain't
hear nothing. Daval said, it's Kadean wearing a bonnet being
bothered for me, and it's just the reality. It's real,
like it's everybody's not made up every day. We don't
speak kindly to each other all the time. No, we argue,

(27:27):
so we we disagree on a lot of things, but
you know what we do, we love each other through it,
and that's what people really want to see.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Like I don't. We don't got to be perfect people
to be in love.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Like nah, sometimes k don't like me, sometimes I don't
like her, But you know what we're gonna do. Go
to bed at night, talk about our issues, wake up
in the morning, and try to be better the next day.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Like that's just what it is.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
It was just a learning curve for me because I
know you guys probably have also dealt with this maybe
now or early on, but getting past what people are
seeing in the comments right because you're concerned about how
this is going to be received. So for me early on,
that was just me looking from a space of oh
my god, So now I'm putting my business out there,
which my family said I shouldn't do, and now I'm

(28:06):
getting backlash for it or people are commenting on all
the things.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
That are wrong in this set video.

Speaker 4 (28:12):
So that was just me learning how to get kind
of tough skin and just not even going to the
comment section half the time now and just being like
it is what it is, y'all can take what you
want from it and leave leave the rest.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah, we've we've spoken already about how we got through that.
How did you guys get through that? Dealing with the comments?

Speaker 6 (28:28):
Uh? Oh, well, with the comments. I think we we
would read them and then cry to each other was
one way with it.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
I think she had each other or like.

Speaker 6 (28:44):
Sometimes we oh man. I think for Amber especially there,
we got some nasty messages like just like the racism
was just.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Of course because you're an intracial company.

Speaker 6 (28:57):
Was yeah for me because like white white people, you know,
date outside their race and they're open minded, and like
black people date outside their race and is like you
hate your own race, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (29:06):
So I that's very true.

Speaker 6 (29:08):
So you would see elements of like, you know, like
white man, you know, white man power type of thing
for you know. And I say that completely ironically, like
they like.

Speaker 7 (29:20):
Oh, you're handling all that over here. They're like, you
black bitch, where where is your man? I'm just like
what I do?

Speaker 1 (29:27):
It is it is a different dynamic because where are
you guys located?

Speaker 7 (29:31):
We live in La now, but we're in Chicago for
ten years.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
Oh so you lived in la world in Chicago.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
I mean the white people in Atlanta wouldn't have been
as nice to you been I'll be honest with you.
Doing the motherfuckers is racist and then you see you
with a black woman and they'd have been racist as hell.
But trust me that so no, no, I got you
go ahead.

Speaker 6 (29:52):
I think just like reading those comments and like laughing
at them. Uh. And then at one point we sort
of I just I love trolling people. I was I
have three I just I think it's so much fun.
Like like one time someone sent a comment being like
you you've referenced like Amber dying, like we know that
you're gonna kill her, and like I was like because

(30:14):
I mentioned something about getting life insurance and like I
would pull the plug if needed, because I like, just
like funny and it's to be funny. Yeah, it's and
people that doesn't hit with people. So when I hear that,
I just I double down and I'm like, yeah, and
this is how I would do it if I were
And then and then I'll be like Amber, like how

(30:36):
would you kill me? Yeah?

Speaker 7 (30:37):
We taught We talked on our podcast we would killy together.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (30:39):
Yeah, But to be very clear, like I love horror,
like I love slasher films. I think this stuff is
just like interesting in aesthetic way, and that doesn't sit well.
It doesn't sit well sometimes with our families as well.
Some of our jokes, like we both grew up churchy,
Like my dad is a hostile pastor and your father
is a deacon. Your mom's very involved in the church.

Speaker 7 (31:01):
So when same over here, Yes, so we're talking about
sex on the pot or yeah, stuff like that, they're kind.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
Of like same over here, yes, cringe over here.

Speaker 6 (31:12):
I think, Like, but then what happens if I take
my mom to Paris and I say, you're in Paris
right now because I talked about Amber's pussy, like you know,
then they're okay with it.

Speaker 7 (31:22):
We laugh, We I don't want them.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
That's so that's so true to both of our families.
Both of our families very churchy people. I don't know,
I can't I can't do it. I can't do it.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
But then when you have a party and you fly
people with places and then then they now family members
are like, can you help me with.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
My YouTube channel? Oh? Yeah, now you want to start
a YouTube.

Speaker 4 (31:47):
YouTube channel links I had to look at recently. Can
you just give me some feedback and tips on how
to get my subscribers up? I said the same person
that was just like, why are you putting your business
out there on the street?

Speaker 6 (31:57):
Now?

Speaker 3 (31:57):
You want to put your business on the street? Sin
that good luck, good lackly.

Speaker 7 (32:03):
I also think going back to the comments thing, and
I'm sure you felt this way as well, Devello, I
was like, they probably can't see. So for me, I
was like, I am a trained comedian, So everybody's not
gonna like the joke. Everybody's not gonna like that, or
they might have liked the joke, hated the outfit, hated

(32:24):
the hair, whatever it is. These days, but I have
seen so many content creators forget what they were originally
doing because they're arguing with everybody in the comments. So
I'm like, girl, I used to follow your page because
you did a wig tutorials. Now you you over here
to talk about some you know, user five seven steven
I got time today and I'm like, no, you don't

(32:45):
have time.

Speaker 6 (32:47):
You don't have time.

Speaker 7 (32:47):
And now this this page that used to be about
hair and protective styles has now become just like attack
of the comment section. Whenever reality, if you get to
a point where you're popular enough, people that are down
for you will attle people in your comment section like
they will do the dirty work for you. You just need
to move on to the next video, to the next idea,
that's the next thing, because you'll forget why you wanted

(33:09):
to present yourself on the Internet.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
I have found absolutely no you're you're absolutely right. I
got on before I got into television film.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
I was an athlete. I play in the NFL for
four years.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
The first thing they tell you is do not watch
sports television because if you go watch sports television or
you're going to be reminded of of whatever mistake the
person watching thinks you made. So for example, and they
tell you this with football all the time, the people
watching football don't know football. So when they're telling you
how to do your job and you want to argue
with people about how you're supposed to do what you're

(33:41):
a coach to do, you're taking time away from being
better at your job.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
I took the same approach.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
When it came to doing TV film, and the same
approach of doing social media.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
I told Kadean from the very beginning. Stop reading the comments.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
The people who are looking to comment are probably trolls
number one, but probably don't even know what you're trying
to portray. They just want to find something to nitpit
because they have nothing to do. If you spend time
arguing with them, you've taken away from the message you
were trying to portray. Anyway, exactly, get your message across.
Make a video, then make another video, then make another video,

(34:14):
and before you know it, all the trolls on that
one page will be going anyway.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
And it has worked like clockwork.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
I don't pay no attention to comments because you know
what's funny, everybody's entitled to make a comment. Who am
I to tell you that you can't comment on my page.
That's the reason why I started a page right to
get social commentary. So if someone don't like my joke,
or like the video, or like what I'm wearing, you're
entitled to that opinion. I am mad at you, Like
that's your opinion, I'm still tomorrow.

Speaker 7 (34:41):
Now you got the video on the algorithm to gage
that movie engage honey, that that video got a ring, honey,
because people, I'm sure there are We've made so much
content over the years, so there are people arguing on
videos from three, four or five years ago. At this point, absolutely,
you couldn't even keep up with every cause it's it's

(35:03):
and they smell blood in the water too. So if
you try to just comment from one person, they could
be like, ooh, I got Kiddingen's attention, let me now,
now let me They go crazy with it. So if
there's anybody out there trying to make content, you need
to help with your YouTube page. Just don't respond to
the comments.

Speaker 4 (35:18):
That would be my price, just right, and don't start altering, right,
and don't start altering your content to what people are
saying in the comments, because then you're losing the authenticity
of why you even have people follow you to begin with.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Right, Yeah, I think that was the biggest message when
when you said Amber, is that people will lose sight
of why they got on social media anyway just to
defend one video. Yes, and now I'm no longer here
getting the content on what it is sad to see,
but that's human nature. I watched the same thing. In sports.
You no longer want to play receiver. Now you want
to prove that you can be quarterback. Just to prove
that the quarterback threw you the ball wrong in that

(35:52):
last play. That has nothing to do what happened. But
now you're out here trying to do something that's not
your job description so that you'll have a strong founday.

Speaker 6 (36:00):
Yeah, and then you miss.

Speaker 7 (36:01):
It out on that money bag. That's that's what you
really don't know, because because I talk to so many creators,
they're like, I haven't had a brand deal of years.
I'm like, girl, you're showing hood fights in Baltimore.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
What browd? That's the whole thing.

Speaker 7 (36:15):
You're not marketable anymore because you're arguing with people in
every video.

Speaker 6 (36:20):
Something that I loved learning as a teacher is going
back when you're like, who's the star of this video?
Was that centering it not around a person, but around
the great thing. So there's this great writer, a great
teacher called The Courage to Teach by Parker Palmer, and
he says people argue teacher centered classroom, student centered classroom. No,
it should be what he calls the great thing. So

(36:41):
if it's mathematics, center everything around mathematics our page. The
great thing is that it's comedy. We want to make
people laugh. And if I am the center of this
video and make people laugh. That's it. It ambers the
center of the video makes people laugh, that's it. If
Wild's the center of the video makes people laugh, that's it.
The center is the comedy. It's not about who's the star.

(37:02):
And same thing about football. The center is not like
it's your job is to learn football, right the center.
That's the great thing is the football, the playing. I
always find that really helpful in dealing with comments because
it's not about me, it's about what's actually funny. So
I don't know, I go back to that, what is
our great thing?

Speaker 1 (37:20):
No, I think, to be honest, I think I love
first of all what Amber said about focusing on what
you do. But then what Ben said about the great thing.
I love that because that's a that's a different perspective
that we haven't been able to articulate. But it's literally
what we do. We don't we don't make it about
even one of us. We make it about whatever the

(37:41):
messages in.

Speaker 3 (37:42):
The video video.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, but also this is a good time to take
a break because when we come back, we heard y'all
also do listener letters like we do.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
Oh do you give advice? We have time we prob
about two of.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Them or one, because this is do you have people
writing in entire discaar?

Speaker 7 (37:59):
I mean, this is.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
A memoir, a whole memoir.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
And the thing is it's probably on us because sometimes
they gave us small paragraphs and we're like, we don't
have any context. We can't give you, guys, any hour
two cents because we don't know what you're trying to say.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
Well, cut to this dissertation over here.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
What we're gonna do is take a quick break, pay
some bills. I gotta pay some bills, and when we
come back, we're going to jump into this listening letter
because I want to see how y'all would break down this.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
Yeah, Amber and Ben stick around so we can see
if we can help this person out. All right, All right,
Amber and Bang you're still there.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
Oh yeah, I get these people. It's getting these people
business real quick, you know, saying.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
Let me read this book real quick. Okay.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Hi to Valiant K love you both and have been
following your journey since Black Love so proud of the growth.
I'll try to give you the context and quick bullet
points followed by my question. I'm twenty eight, a black
woman with a college degree, no kids, a full time job,
a business that I own, a few side hustles in
my own car. Wow, my boyfriend, you got time for
a boyfriend with all that. My boyfriend of almost three

(39:12):
years is thirty four, no kids, drives and works a
full time job. We live together in the city that
he's from. This is my fifth year here, and since
I moved here solely for work, I don't have actual
friends here, more so colleagues and co workers. Okay, so
here's my dilemma. So we have all the context here
in big capital letters. I have no social life, or

(39:33):
at least that's how it feels most of the time.
My life revolves around my jobs and relationship. My boyfriend
is not as adventurous as I am and is satisfied
spending his weekends in the house playing video games, whereas
I'm a bit of a spontaneous free spirit who lives
by work hard, play hard. He only asked me out
if it's with his friends, who are great but just
not my kind of people, or family. Even though I'm

(39:55):
expressed to him how important routine date nights are to me,
he often flipped sit back on me to come up
with the day ideas and basically plan it all myself.
I get turned off when he does that because it
just adds extra task to my CVS receipt of my
CVS receipt of a to do list.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
I'm almost just.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
I'm also just not used to my partner being my
closest friend within proximity, which sounds pathetic at my big age,
all of my close friends are states away, and I
really have time funds to visit them as much as
i'd like. You got five jobs and three hustles and
you can't visit your friends.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
What kind of side the hustles you got?

Speaker 3 (40:33):
She's maybe hustling. She hustling enough, she's busy hustling.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
I've tried making new friends, which sucks as an adult
in my opinion, but there's usually an undertone of envy disrespect.
They take advantage of me in some way while personalities
just don't mesh. Well, what advice do you have for
someone in my situation? How can I improve my social
life both in and outside of my relationship?

Speaker 2 (40:56):
Thanks? Abut love you both. We love you too. Sorry.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
I really tried to make it not too long. M
let me go, let's hear wallins.

Speaker 2 (41:05):
Yeah, what's y'all think?

Speaker 6 (41:07):
I have opinions? So I'm gonna I'm gonna use a
phrase from a book called The Relationship Cure. It's a
very helpful book, but in there they use the term
emotional bids. And basically, it's this idea that you put it.
You've been sounds like this woman has been putting a
bid out there, an emotional bid. So I'm bidding, hey,
let's do this thing. And what will happen is someone

(41:28):
doesn't want to hang out with you. They'll be like,
uh yeah, all right, yeah, maybe whatever. They won't give
you a hard time. But if they do like you,
they'll they'll respond. I can't do this now, but let's
set a specific day in time later. So based on that,
the man you're with does not like you, like, he
does not like you, he doesn't want to hang out
with you, he doesn't care about you, like, let's be real,

(41:50):
and you've been doing these emotional bids for a while
and he doesn't get he doesn't give a fuck like,
So I think you have to have a really real
you have to recoverish it.

Speaker 7 (42:00):
No, like you have to give up fund I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 (42:03):
It's and the data proves it like emotional bids is
a huge indicator of like lasting friendships and relationships, Like
there's data behind this emotional bid, So you're doing it,
he's not returning. So that's my idea on the romantic relationship.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
Yeah, it's emotional.

Speaker 7 (42:22):
It's hard because it sounds to me if I listened
correctly that she moved to the city to be with him. Yes,
So if I moved to your city to be with
you and you can't take me down to the cheesecake
factory one night and get off that game, and I've
asked you, I've given ten bids and you've knocked me
down each time, I might have to start packing boxes

(42:44):
me personally because I gave up friends, my hometown. Maybe
I used to be a block away from my mama.
I did all that to be here with you, just
sitting in the house playing games.

Speaker 6 (42:53):
That's wild.

Speaker 7 (42:53):
But for the friendship thing, I would definitely recommend I
would write down a list of like five activities that
I to do. Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (43:01):
Talking about talking about my bad. My bad. I just
wanted to correct you. She didn't move there for him.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
She said she moved there solely for work, So I
think she might have moved there for work and met him.
And the only reason why I say that because then
it's not his responsibility to make sure that she has
a social life.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
I would agree with the movies is why I cut
you off. But go ahead, make sure we got that correct.

Speaker 7 (43:20):
Yes I misspoke. I would definitely I agree with you.
I think it is not his responsibility to facilitate your
social life. What I would do if I was hurt,
I would write down about three to four hobbies that
I have of things I like to do, and I
would go to those things by myself. I'm a big
yoga girl, so I started going to the yoga studio
by myself, started slowly making friends at the studio, and

(43:44):
then I was up there, one doing something that I
wanted to do physically, and two making friends. So I
think because it was a little strange what she said
in the letter, like any new friends I have, they
start to be jealous of me. I'm not saying that
that's not true. But like every new friend you made.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
You right, what did they do? Right?

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yo? I two things.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
First thing, the emotional big thing makes sense though, Right
if a god likes you and you keep putting out hey,
I would like to do this. How hey, I would
like to do this, and they can never find time
typically because they're not that into you.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
That's that's the truth.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
The second thing is she says she got a full
time job, a business she owned, and several hustles, but
she don't got money to travel and see her friends.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
That don't make sense to me, because you.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
Don't have a bad if you don't have she hustling backwards.
It sounds like she's putting more money into her businesses
than she is putting into her herself.

Speaker 4 (44:38):
Right, It's like it's even just based off of what
we read, it's just giving busy work. It looks like
she's running around in circles and she has no clear
like like there's no real actual tasks as they're being
achieved other than running around in the circles. Because I
just got dizzy even about reading the whole the whole thing.

Speaker 7 (44:55):
Right, because she didn't tell you what the business was,
I was like, what's the business? Because it was a
lot of her what's the business?

Speaker 1 (45:01):
She said, a business she owned and several hustles plus
a full time job. Which one thing I will say
is she a go getter that also tell her about
her personality. When she wants something, she gonna go get it.
So when she say to her boyfriend, I want to
go do this, if you don't want to do it,
she's gonna be upset.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
What she really needs to do is find someone who.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
Is just as much of a go getter as she is,
so she don't got to fight with him on doing
things she wants to do.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
That would be my advice.

Speaker 7 (45:28):
Yeah, like sign up for a business class, sign up
for a new business owners class, and then make some
friends there. But I've never hung out with a new
friend and felt jealousy for them or them jealous for me.
That's the one.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
Like jealousy and envy off the bat.

Speaker 4 (45:46):
Yeah, it does make me wonder what kind of energy
you're giving out there, especially if your people are not
You know, you can't attract honeywoo a big What do
you say you can't attract bes with vinegar?

Speaker 7 (45:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (45:56):
So girl, first of all, shout out to Triple Triple,
talk about you. She learned how to play video games
because some man played video games. No, she's gonna be
terrible at the video games and gonna be mad that
you playing video games with him.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
And you messing up his school break up.

Speaker 6 (46:16):
Anyway, I'm gonna disagree slightly with you. Uh So, recently
I bought a Nintendo Switch and ambers like, I don't
play video games. I'm like, we're doing something different tonight
because I want to spend time with you and video
games are important artistic endeavors for me. And so I
was like, I was like, you are going I like
literally because I like spending time with her. So if

(46:38):
someone likes I like doing things and I likes people
that I like to try the things that I like.
So I forced her to sit down and she played
Mary Card and at the end she's like, I got you, bitch.
Like she's like yelling and screaming at me, like jumping
out of the couch.

Speaker 7 (46:54):
And then I was like, Okay, we're gonna order some
wings after this, give me a little outside.

Speaker 6 (46:58):
Yeah. But that's but that's our relationship as far as
the go. It sounds your phrase like hustling backwards. It's
interesting when people are go getters but they're not getting
you know, like those are like I'm a go getter,
but you're not getting anything. It's like, are you a
go getter?

Speaker 2 (47:12):
Like you're just.

Speaker 7 (47:15):
Imagine if this person listened like so anxiously, like yes,
they finally chose my letter.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
She at the house like, no, no, listen, this is
now here's the funny part.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
Right.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
When you got two people, well two couples where they
speak candidly with each other, we're gonna speak candidly with everybody,
like that's just the bottom line. I'm not going to
say anything to you that I wouldn't say to my
wife or wouldn't expect my wife to say to me,
because I could tell you right now if I told
Okay that I had a part time job and for
side hustles, but I ain't had no money, she would

(47:46):
honestly say to me, nigga, what the.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Fuck are you doing?

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Come home, come home, recalibrate and figure this out, because
whatever you're doing is not work.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
It's not working.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
That's what she would say to.

Speaker 4 (47:56):
Feel like people writeing and they feel like we're kind
of like friends, right, so we have and we're in
a little friend circle, and this is your friend circle
girl telling you stop just go get in and just
go go get and then not just go.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Also, also, it is hard to move to a different
city right and find people like you have to create
a village that doesn't That's not easy.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
It's not an easy tak Yeah.

Speaker 4 (48:18):
I think that's where Amber's advice comes in, Like go
to places that you enjoy, doing things that you like,
and then you'll find probably like minded people.

Speaker 7 (48:25):
In a sense, you don't you know what probably happened there.
She probably invited one of them new friends to brush
and then try to combine these hustles with the fresh
and be like girl, you know, I still a seam
off's girl, and the friend Frid's.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
She don't want to support your business, and now she's
jealous because she don't want to buy your off.

Speaker 7 (48:46):
I was getting fresh. Tell me if you try to
sell me off.

Speaker 6 (48:49):
If there is only like some online website that allows
you to connect with other people on shared hobbies, I
don't know, like maybe meet up or like a million
of other bumbles.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
For friendships.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
They have that.

Speaker 6 (49:07):
Yeah, I'm so glad.

Speaker 7 (49:08):
That means you haven't been on the apps in a while.
Good answer, great answer.

Speaker 4 (49:14):
I don't think we've ever been on a dating appeas
years ago.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
Yeah, that's when we started dating.

Speaker 4 (49:26):
The trenches and he lives to see another day and
he's still here.

Speaker 7 (49:32):
Happened and happy to go through it too. You better
say that period love.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
It wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

Speaker 3 (49:38):
Period.

Speaker 4 (49:43):
What we also loved, though, was having y'all to day
on the Showy hour.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Went by so quick. I'm like, oh my god, I can't.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
Believe we're like a No, I can't believe it was
an hour already.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
Wow, Oh my goodness.

Speaker 4 (49:56):
Well, I want you guys to close out by telling
everybody all y'all business, where they can find you, where
they can follow, where they can tune in, where they
can listen, give them all the tea because amb we
had such a great time with y'all today.

Speaker 3 (50:06):
Y'all are hilarious.

Speaker 7 (50:08):
Yay, thank you we did. Good man. You might get
something tonight.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Get something to play card.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
You better go get some period. They got some wings for.

Speaker 7 (50:20):
After yet, right, and I'm not above wings after six,
so take some up period wings wings, wings. Yes, y'all
been together.

Speaker 3 (50:32):
Y'all know that we get make it spicy. Literally.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Oh if I could tell y'all something, I can tell
you some things that are happening in this house with
wings and sects.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Oh my gosh, it don't even be me though, Yes,
it don't even be me. It'd be hurt be.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
Asked with a spice baby, right, what you gotta do?

Speaker 6 (50:51):
Okay?

Speaker 7 (50:52):
Yeah, yeah, very longer. We need some tips for those
listen who want a little bit more of us. You
can follow me on all social handles, from TikTok to
Instagram at Burr Underscore I am so b you are
our underscore I am, and we host Fly on the
Wiland podcast together. We're actually going on tour soon. Our
first tour day is going to be in New York

(51:13):
City on October twenty fifth. So if you're in New
York for New Jersey or you know in that little circuit,
you can say all, I'm from the South. If you're
in Maine area, we'll talk well offline. He's from Long Island.
If you're in the Tri state area. We will be
in New York City at City Winery on October twenty fifth.

Speaker 6 (51:35):
Also we live in.

Speaker 7 (51:36):
La but Burr I am and Fly on the Wiland.
Thank y'all so much.

Speaker 6 (51:39):
And I just want to say, as a union, thank
y'all so much. I just want to.

Speaker 7 (51:43):
Say, they got four they got four kids. Man.

Speaker 6 (51:47):
As a Union delegate, y'all did an episode on SAG
and the importance of unions and honestly like that is
amazing work that you're doing. It was funny.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
So thank you so much.

Speaker 6 (51:57):
No, seriously, like I feel like there's not enough people
who are giving full context and anybody who wants to
understand unions in a very like clear direct way not
too heady and also laugh like you need to listen
to that episode that y'all did, so thank you.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
So much for I appreciate that.

Speaker 7 (52:14):
Man Manday listeners know to listen today's show. But but yes,
thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
I know.

Speaker 6 (52:19):
I'm just saying, like, if you missed that.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
One us our flower.

Speaker 7 (52:27):
There to listen to dead Ass podcast, Well, I was
just very it just warmed my heart.

Speaker 6 (52:34):
It did warm my heart to hear great.

Speaker 4 (52:36):
Yeah, anyway, thank you receive those flowers.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
I love.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
We appreciate y'all.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
Y'all.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Thank y'all so much for joining us today. You back
in the future.

Speaker 7 (52:47):
All right, y'all, we're coming back. Thank y'all.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
It's wild for us.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
We will we will all right, take care of y'all.
All right, moment for in Ben today. You know what
my moment of truth is that Amber and Ben made
me feel that much more normal in this social social
media space.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
I know we've been doing it for seven years. It's
been a while.

Speaker 4 (53:10):
It feels like a long as seven years, and so
much has happened, But it's just refreshing to see another
couple who can laugh at themselves and joke at themselves
and not take things too seriously andnot be bogged down
by the weight of the world and everything that's going on,
and they can just laugh, they can share, they can
put it out there, and people take what they want
from it and they leave the rest. It just makes
me feel like we have like a little group of

(53:32):
you know, like minded couples who are doing the same
things for their families and for the culture, for the
for y'all's viewing pleasure.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (53:41):
I think there was something that Ben and Amber said
to me that made the most sense, which'll be my
moment of truth, is that when you get into this
business of trying to be a quote unquote example, being
an example doesn't mean you have to be perfect. Being
example means I can be exactly who I am, and
I can be an example that being who I am
it's perfectly fine. I love that with all the flaws

(54:02):
and everything so shout out.

Speaker 4 (54:04):
To whoever's going will support regardless, like y'all, thank you
so much for listening. I love how when we have
listener letters too, like yeah, it's always starts with someone
like giving us our flowers, right, Yes, so we appreciate
y'all for that.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
We love y'all for it. Thank y'all for listening. We
hope you had a great time listening.

Speaker 4 (54:20):
If you want to be a featured listener letter, we'll
go through all the housekeeping stuff. If you want to
be featured as a listener letter, continue to write into
us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
That's d e A d A d v I c
E at gmail dot com.

Speaker 3 (54:36):
And be sure to follow us d e.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
A d A s s A d v i c E.
I just said dead advice, dead ass advice at Gmail.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
I don't even pick up on it this time. Look
at that.

Speaker 4 (54:48):
But also if you, uh, if you haven't yet, be
sure to subscribe and join us on Patreon, where you
can get a lot more long form content of the
Ellis Family Dead Ass Podcast, exclusive video clips, shoo access
to tour tickets, all that good stuff you guys are
gonna get only on Patreon, and then you can follow
us on social media at dead Ass the Podcast. My

(55:09):
page is Kadine I am.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
And I am Devout and if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,
be sure to rate, review, subscribe, and also get your
copy of We Over Meet, The Counterintuitive Approach to doing
everything you want in your relationship New York Times bestseller.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
Baby Let's Go run it Up, y'all.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
Dead Ass

Speaker 1 (55:27):
Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
it's produced by Donor Opinya and Triple Follow the podcast
on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and Never
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