April 6, 2026 • 35 mins
What is a House Mom?!
These girls can’t take care of themselves!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia, Judice Davy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler. Hi, guys,
welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush. Today, we
are joined by the women who truly see it all
the backbone of every sorority house. They run the show,
(00:23):
keep the chaos somewhat under control, and somehow know everything
before anyone else does. We are talking about sorority house moms,
or they are officially known house directors. Trust me, nothing
gets past them. All right, let me get into it.
Well first, my, so we're going back now, guys, to
nineteen eighty eight. So I did have a house mom
(00:43):
at University of Texas at the AFI House. And the
only name I know that she has is Aunt Millie.
So that's what we called her, and I feel like
her name almost completely describes her. She was like an aunt,
like an older aunt, and from what I remember, I'm
sorry at Millie. She was a little stuffy, a little strict,
(01:07):
and she was there in a motherly capacity. I don't
think she was a house mom that let's say we
ran to with our boy problems per se. She was
just really trying to control the chaos that is a
sorority house. But our guests are fabulous. They are going
(01:28):
to give you the dirt and talk a little bit
about how they got into this line of business. So okay,
let's go ahead and bring in our first house director,
and her name is c. C. Calvo. Welcome, Hi, How
are you here?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I'm good?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Are you sure you are a director of a house
because you look like you're you should be in a house.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I get that so often of that.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
I started out when I was twenty seven, So just
imagine how much younger I look now.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Then wait, you're older than twenty seven.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I'm thirty nine.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Look at you, well done, you look twenty two.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Genetics.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, I was saying before we brought you in that
my house mother, which is what we called her back
in nineteen eighty eight. Her name was Aunt Millie and
she did not look like Ceci, and I just tried
to picture how, first of all, how did this happen?
How did you get this job? Tell me a little bit.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So so I started out, I am a serty woman.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
I wasn't a chapter advisor for my chapter back home
in Miami, and we were at a training that happened
to coincide with a training for house corporations and house directors,
And at some point in conversation we were all done
with the weekend and at the airport, I had been
saying how much I loved interacting with the women as
an advisor, and I wish that there was kind of
a different way to interact with them and just be
(02:48):
more involved. And someone from a housing corporation was like,
you know, you'd make such a great house bomb, and
I was I looked around.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I was like me, I'm like, I mean, isn't that
like typically.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
One for someone older at like Millie?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:05):
And I wanted to choose my words very carefully because
she was an older woman, and she was like, we know,
traditionally that's what we've always had, is the older house directors.
But one thing we talked about this weekend was how
a younger house director has a lot of benefits you
understand the.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Generation a little bit more. And I had to take
a pause and be like, yeah, that's technically true.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
There's sometimes I question writings, right, But the other thing
is like liability.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
You know, you are so good at.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
You know, if you break your leg in the house,
like you're gonna keep working. And I was like, it's
sad that you know that. And she was like, but
an older person like the And I was like, oh,
they might break their hip or something.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
And be out. She's like, well, that's a lot worse.
And I was like, oh, that took a darker turn
than I am thought.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Yeah, And so I started looking into it and it
just kind of happened.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Wow. So just so I'm clear, So are you a
housemum for the same sorority that you were a member of? Oh,
but I have been Okay, so you've moved around a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yeah, I moved around a little bit. I've worked in
California for two years. I did two years in New
Jersey actually at Rutgers in New Brunswick at Zeta where
Gia was a member.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
So I was.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I was the house director the year before.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
She got missed her.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I just missed her, but I did get me.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
So when I got to me Teresa when she did
her book tour and was going around, and I worked
for another organization in Orlando, Florida, and now I'm in
North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Wow, Okay, so this is not just a job for you.
You're not just segueing into something else.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
This is your career, this is my career currently.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I guess it puts a new spin on it on
being a house director because of Ann Millie. I think
that is a woman who's maybe retired and I, you know,
really sort of vary into sorority or Greek life or
was in their heyday. But this is a different thing.
Are more women your age becoming interested in doing this?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
We are seeing a really big uptick in younger house directors.
The campus that I'm currently at actually has a majority
of house directors that are in their early thirties. And
I have been my experience has always been the older
house directors on campuses.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I've been the youngest at.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
The last three campuses by at least twenty five.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Thirty years, right.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So it's been.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Really refreshing to see kind of younger house directors joining
and really being a part of it and using it
as a stepping stone either to get into some sort
of housing position within their national organizations or national organization,
or just to really get the experience and kind of
like figure out if this is something that they.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Want to continue doing.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Wow, So do you think it is something you want
to continue doing.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I definitely do.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
I've loved it so far. I've been a house director
for about eleven years. This fall, I did take a
year off when I had a family member passed away.
That was a little hard for me to kind of
want to dedicate another year. But I came back into
it and I was in my last house for the
last five years and then decided I needed to change
and moved up and I'm closer to family now. So
(06:15):
it's really nice and it definitely has its ups and downs,
but it's such a great job, especially if you love
connecting with college age members.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Well, tell me, like, what does your job look like
on a daily Like what's a typical day.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
So a typical day can be really a lot of
different things. You're either super busy to the point where
like there have been days where I am NonStop from
like seven in the morning to like nine o'clock at night,
or even past that when the members have socials, and
I'll forget to eat, Like there have been days where
I've forgotten to grab lunch and I have to like
stop myself and be like, wait, did I only am
(06:50):
I only surviving off of coffee. Is that what's.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Happening right now, right right, But.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
It can be anything from you know, morning meetings with
having vendors coming out, plumbers, hvac work, checking in with
the staff. I like to do that a couple times
a day, just to make sure that you know, housekeeping
is up to date. At the kitchen, I would like
to check in make sure they have everything they need.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
If there's anything that they need me.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
To go get for them, or the members need anything,
I can go out and run errands.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
And then there's some days.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Where you're just sitting here waiting for something to happen.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah. Yeah, how much would you say, what's the percentage
of the logistic part of your job, like you know,
making sure that hv is working, as opposed like being
there for the girls. I mean I would think that
there's a lot of that involved as well, right, And
also I'm picturing that you have to you're sort of
the disciplinarian kind of kind of okay.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Yeah, so a lot of being a house director is, yes,
it's really the property management aspect of it. You are
taking care of the physical house, making sure it's running correctly,
but a large part of it is also the members.
Not every organization has their house directors as involved, but
I have always wanted to make sure that my number
one job is the health, safety and well being of
(08:06):
the members.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
That is the end all be all for me. I
need to make sure that.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
They are happy and healthy because it causes me a
lot less problems, right And I love to interact with
them and help them out with events if they need it,
or help them with you know, I've done anything from
like tutoring members in Spanish to just going and supporting
them when they invite me to things. I think that's
probably my favorite part, is when they go out of
(08:33):
their way to invite you to make sure that they
want you there to support them.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, I mean, because you are such a great age
I would think for in terms of like having a
friendship with these girls, is it a hard line ever?
Because you know they probably want to hang out with
you and get wasted and you know, oh yeah, do
so do you have to sort of, you know, maintain
an era of professionalism or can you kind of have
(08:59):
some fun with them?
Speaker 4 (09:00):
And I've always from my chapter advisor days, again, I'm
a very much younger person and always been close in
age with the members that I'm dealing with. So I've
always been friendly but not friends, right and.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Let them know.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
And I always say that in the beginning when I
meet with them, it's like I can be your best
friend or your worst enemy.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
The choice is yours. At the end of the day.
You know, I'm not here to be best friends with
you guys, and you know, like Brady each other's hair
and stuff.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
But I do always want the members to feel comfortable
coming to talk to me, and I tell them that,
you know, if you guys want to come talk to me,
and if it's something sort of related or school related
or personal, like if you just need somebody to listen.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
To you, my door is always open. My door is
always open.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
You are welcome to come and talk to me, and
I can literally just listen. And if you need me
to give you advice or suggestions, we can work together
on that. If it's just you just need somebody to
listen to you, I'm just here to hear.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
So it sounds like we say house director now not
house mom, which certainly makes sense in this occasion. But
my question is do you feel like a mom sometimes?
I mean, I would imagine that you are rallying all
of these let's I mean, let's call them kids for
our purposes. What are they? Sometimes they are what nineteen.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, they're between the ages of like eighteen and twenty one,
twenty two sometimes.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
The title really changes and it's really dependent on the person.
A lot of house directors when I first started, referred
to it as like oh, house mom, or they were
like mom B or mom.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
D you know.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
And I was twenty seven, twenty eight years old, and
I was like, I.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Am no one's mom.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Yeah right, And so when we settled on my first house,
we settled on my nickname was HD because house director
is the formal title and I wasn't. I didn't want
to be a mom anything, and so we settled on HD.
I've gone by my full name, Cecilia. At my previous house,
I was CC. Here I miss CC. So we just
added a little formality to it because we're in the South. Ye,
(11:01):
So it's been It definitely has this moments where you
have to kind of remember, like you're you're an adult,
or as my girls one time called it, you're the
adult adult in the house.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, yeah, okay, good, I like that. Have you ever
had a moment when you have to like step in
and you didn't feel maybe because you are a certain
age capable of hand of handling you know, these young
women's issues. I would think that it would be I mean,
it's overwhelming for me at age fifty seven sometimes and
my kids are a little older than college age now.
But do you feel equipped to handle, you know, everything
(11:34):
that gets thrown at you. I would think it would
be challenging at times.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
I definitely feel like there's been times where I shouldn't
or I don't think I was capable of handling something,
and I will try very hard to acknowledge that where
I'm like, this is above my pay grade. There's some
things that I'm equipped to deal with as the house director,
and there's some things that I'm not, And I will
outsource it to the you know, the housing corporation or
(11:59):
the Chapter Advice and just you know, send it off
through and just be like, hey, this came to me,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
What to do.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
What would you like me to do? And what are
these situations like? And I've had a myriad of things
from mental health issues to sexual assault confessions, and you
just kind of have to deal with it. I try
and do training as much as I can. And we
do have a house director's conference that I like to attend.
(12:25):
I try and attend every summer just because it helps
me reset and I get to share with other house directors,
either my age or older and learn from their experiences
and kind of have that back and forth. And it
really does give me like a mental and physical like
reset button before I start.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
My next semester.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah. I'm wondering though, like what is your life like
living in the house. Are you able to have your
own social life? I don't know, Like, you know, you're
going out on dates two unless I don't know if
you're married or no? No, so are you dating? You're
living in the house? You have you know your own
Can you have a pet in the house for the
listeners that may be interested in doing something like this?
Speaker 5 (13:04):
I do.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
I actually have my This is Louie b. He is
my animal companion and has been for the last fifteen years. Oh,
this is the second house that I've been allowed to
have him at when I'm not when I haven't been
in a house where he's allowed, I usually have him
with my parents. My mom takes care of him during
the year and for the most part, for.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Ten months out of the year, I am this is
my life.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I will still have times where I can go out
and socialize and hang out with friends. I try and
keep that to like evenings and sparingly and on the weekends,
especially because most of the time the members are off
having fun going to the beach or like hanging out
with their friends are going home. So I mean, I'll
try and make time for myself to go and just
distress because it can be really difficult. Like you said,
(13:51):
we live here in the house and another house director
and I were just talking about this the other day.
You know, when we get upset or when some we
have a bad day, our staff is lucky they get
to go home and you know, throw things and just
like decompress. We this is our home, like our apartments,
our suites are usually in the house. We can't exactly
(14:14):
throw a temper tantrum and slam the door because.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Our problems are on the other side of that door.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
We just have to find ways of like you know,
resetting and just escaping the house for a little bit,
even if it's just going for a walk around the
campus or in my case, I have again, like I said,
I have family nearby, so on the weekends, I'll go
hang out with my cousins, or we'll have family dinner
once a month.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
So I'll make sure.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
To just keep leave my schedule open for that so
that I know I can have some time just be
normal and kind of get away from the house and.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Have that break.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, do you see this as I'm not talking about
you personally necessarily, but like as a long term career
for a woman who because it's so it's such a
specific thing, right, You're living in a submerty house with
a bunch of young women. You don't have your own
space except for your room, I would think, or you're stained,
and I don't know what it would be like to
(15:06):
even have a relationship in a situation like this. I
don't think that any house directors can have a significant other?
Can they? Is that allowed?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
They can? They can?
Speaker 4 (15:14):
In fact, yeah, when I was a new member twenty
something years ago of my sorority, I actually there was
a chapter that I was very familiar with that had
a house mom and house dad.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Really she was married.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Her husband basically was the maintenance worker, I like, the
handyman basically for the house and in the current organization
I work at, they actually allow you to have a spouse.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Oh wow.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
They're not allowed to be on the meal plan like
you are, but they are allowed to like live in
with you, and they are subject to the same rules
you are. They allowed to basically stay in the suite
and then just go in and out, but not like
free range.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Of the house.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Wow. What do you think is the most rewarding part
of being a house director?
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
I love I love it the end of your time
with them, when they're ready to graduate, when they thank
you and you realize you don't you know, a lot
of the time, we don't realize how much of an
impact the little time that we have with them makes. Right,
But when they do graduate, or when they do tell you,
like you you saying this did so much for me, Like,
(16:18):
you don't know how much this meant to me.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I have had a number of experiences that way.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
When I left my most recent house, I got so
many letters that the women of the chapter and I
cried so hard.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Oh well, they're all very lucky young women. Thank you
so much for coming on CC. All right, you guys,
(16:53):
So next we have Crystal. Hi.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
We're excited to have you, and apparently you have been
a house director for six years at an ACC school.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Correct, I had, right, Yes, I've also worked at Big
Ten as well.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Wow. Well, like our guest right before you, you look
way too young to have been doing this for that long.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Tell us please a little bit about how you got
into this. How did you become a house director?
Speaker 6 (17:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Absolutely so. My trajectory is a little unique.
Speaker 6 (17:25):
Because I think I was getting my master's at university
in the North, so Big Ten at the time, and
part of the work that you do for a master's
program is you do have something that's called an assistant ship,
and so that was a resident director role for a
sorority organization I was there, So that was the Big Ten.
(17:49):
I worked for a university owned house for about two
years there and then transition to what is like formerly
known as like a house director role to another organization
right at that exact same campus and work there for
another two years, and then I made my way back
to the South which is home for me, to ACC
(18:11):
school and have been in this role for about four
years now.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Cool. What do you think is the hardest part and
what do you think is the most fun part? Of
doing this.
Speaker 6 (18:21):
Hardest part is I think you having to strike well,
I'll say two things, probably striking a balance of like
my own personal life and the professional space and reputation
that I want to have. And so by that I
mean you live in with the women. That's not every
house director's experience. Some have like houses that are adjacent.
(18:42):
Some are just like more stop in property management type roles.
But for those of us who are in the fire
together living in with the women, you're living with you know,
forty to one hundred, you know, depending on how large
the house can hold collegiate women, and you know they
have their moments, and so I think just trying to
(19:05):
again know that you have to kind of be on
the moment that you step out of your suite, which
is you know, pretty visible. Girls can access you twenty
four to seven. And so I think it's just again
making sure that I have hobbies, I have interests that
if it's something educationally I want to pursue, that I'm
doing those things for myself, if it's connecting with family,
(19:26):
that I'm still doing those things. I think sometimes my
family can get like weirded out trying.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
To come and visit me because it's like, yeah, seven
hundred people that they every single time.
Speaker 6 (19:35):
That they're come to the house, but when they sit
down and have dinner with me and it's like, oh,
you have a private chef, I'm like, yes, I do
have a lot of great.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Perks for that.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Really bad, Okay, it's not.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
It's not. I don't have a grocery build and that
feels good.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Not yeah, not bad And hopefully you don't rent so
and all that is a plus.
Speaker 6 (19:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
So what about are you in a relationship? Can I
ask you? Are? Okay? So how do you balance that?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Somebody like myself who's had a long term partner, the
women get used to their presence at the house, right,
and so they're not necessarily a stranger. But I could
imagine somebody navigating dating and that being a well, this
is my space, but it's a shared space. And so
I think you got to get clear on the policies.
(20:20):
You gotta get clear with the house corporation what the
dos and don'ts are a lot of I will say
for my work, university owned housing have live in partner policies.
You sign in a dindum where you have your partner
have a background check.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
So they go through all the kind.
Speaker 6 (20:33):
Of jump holes and bells and whistles, if you will,
to make sure operationally and liability wise.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Everybody's covered and everybody's get to go.
Speaker 6 (20:42):
But it's a benefit to have a suite that is
just dedicated to me and my space, and I get
to decorate at how I want and all those things.
And I've been fortunate my House Corporation has furnished it,
so you know, my partner will come here. We tend
not to be in other spaces outside of the dining
room when they're like events that the girls have put
on philanthropy for example. But you know, this is what
(21:06):
I will always say about house directors. I'm like, live
your life, like, have your relationships again, do the things
that bring you joy, because your life is so much
of the work and you can't really escape it, right.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Because you live.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I wonder like, does that make it in terms of
moving forward moving through the years. Is this something that
you think you can do long term? Is it that
kind of a career or is it something that you
are always thinking of next steps?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I think for me it has been a bit of both.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
So I think coming from getting my masters again doing
student affairs work like I can absolutely make this a career.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
I can stay within a house director role.
Speaker 6 (21:50):
I can jump to different universities throughout, so I can
again just a mass I think, and have greater chapter
sizes if you will, right, going Tobama right, that kind
of thing, I think is progression because you're dealing with
a larger house, you're dealing with different staff. But I
also think you can kind of segue into national officer
(22:12):
roles for different organizations.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Right.
Speaker 6 (22:14):
There are a lot of property manager roles that will
go to each house and kind of help to guide
and take care of the house directors there, so that
can be a segue too. I think for me, I'm
probably going to do something different if that's continuing to
work up my way in terms of higher education and
student affairs work. I don't think this will be the
(22:35):
end all, be all, but I am so grateful to
have the experience because I don't pay rent. I am
close proximity to the downtown area where I live at.
I love this chapter to death and they have been honestly,
the three that I've worked for, they're really great.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
What makes what makes them better the best store?
Speaker 6 (22:55):
Honestly, I think the girl one I was navigating the
pandemic with a couple of the and that everybody was
just losing.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
And so, yeah, it is is brutal.
Speaker 6 (23:05):
It's not the kind of sisterhood that they wanted to
curate for themselves, right, And then others were just wild
and I'm like, y'all are giving me a headache. I
don't want to deal with all of your foolishness. All
I want so this, this group has been really awesome,
and I'm close to family, which is so grounding for me.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Right, that's so nice. So without asking you this personally,
so let's just say big picture, it would be good
money and being a house director.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 6 (23:30):
I think if you can find I'll say the ideal
situation is maybe you have a part time house director
role and you have an on campus.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Or other job.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Right.
Speaker 6 (23:42):
I have known and worked with house directors who are
also nurses, house directors who are also police officers, house
directors who had other campus jobs, right, And so I
think you can really make it work for you. Those
are probably the lower end of the pay scale, but yeah,
I will say you can have full time pay and salary,
(24:03):
you can have great benefits depending on how the university
has structured the relationship or if the national organization has
those things in place. So yeah, I do think it
can be really good money. It's not the most well
paid job, but you got to think about I think
the additional benefits ran all of the things, the.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Food and going to save money for.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
A house for your own house, right, not just And
I will also say every time the women leave, I'm like,
I have a mansion, so that feels great.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Bye, enjoy your spring break far, get out of here.
Don't let the divide bull of the door. Here are
you well? Listen, thank you so much for coming on.
We really have enjoyed talking to you. I wish that
I had had a house director like you as a
pupposed to the sort of crotchety older woman that I had.
But anyway, enjoy doing what you're doing. And thank you
(24:58):
so much for coming on. Dirty rush. All right you guys.
So now our next guest is miss Ashley. Hi Ashley, Hey,
(25:20):
how are you well? How are you doing?
Speaker 7 (25:23):
Doing pretty good?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
I say, Miss Ashley. I'm assuming you're not a missus
because you look very young to me also to be
a house director. But can I ask you how old.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
You are sure? Yes, I'm twenty four years old.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Wow, are you sure You've been out of college barely?
Speaker 5 (25:39):
I got went into my master's program right out of
undergrad so yeah, I'm only two years postgrad.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
So your masters. You're getting your master's in Yes.
Speaker 7 (25:49):
I'm getting my master's in public health.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Okay, so you are you're doing this? You're a house
director and you're getting your master's at the same time. Yes, correct,
busy girl. Yes, he's a young lady. Yes, young woman. Wow.
I mean I just I'm looking at you and I
just can't help but think that you must have some
stories to tell.
Speaker 5 (26:09):
Right, Yeah, I was in a sorority for four years
and now have been the house director for just one year.
But I'm the house director at the same school that
I was.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Get out. Wait, okay, so what was your house director
like when you were in the house.
Speaker 7 (26:23):
She was nice. She was a little older than me.
She was around sixty.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
I'm so older.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Yeah, we didn't have like a close relationship by any means,
but you know, she was she was there and around, and.
Speaker 7 (26:37):
She was a little silly, a little sillyer than me.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
I think, how do you think you're doing it? Differently.
What is I mean, it's obvious to me that these
you know, these young women are going to look at
you differently than they did a sixty year old woman.
But do you think you're Are you closer to them
than maybe your house director was to you? Is do
you think it's easier to be your age more difficult?
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:59):
I think that there's only pros and cons. I think
I am a little bit closer with them. I was
a senior when they were freshmen the members that live
in the house currently, so we already kind of had
this established relationship before I came into the house director role.
And yeah, I definitely think it makes us closer. They're
a lot more comfortable with me, and you know, can
(27:21):
come to me if they need things, and you know,
I friends is like, maybe, you know, not the right
word because there has to be some boundaries. But we're
definitely very comfortable with each other. But then you know,
sometimes it can't make it hard when you have to
draw a boundary of being in a place of authority,
it's a little bit different.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Do they want you to party with them? Do they
try to get you too?
Speaker 7 (27:43):
They asked me.
Speaker 5 (27:43):
Sometimes I can't ever tell if they're being serious or not.
But that is actually one thing I don't do.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
I don't party with them at all, but they do.
They do invite me out sometimes.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'll bet they do. I'll bet they do. So Okay,
So tell me a little bit in terms of what
you're doing every day, because is it a lot of
just sort of being there for the girls, talking them
through stuff, or being a disciplinarian, or is it more
We talked to a couple of other house directors. They
are running the house, so they are in charge of
the maintenance of the house and the employees, and so
(28:15):
you're doing all of that as well.
Speaker 7 (28:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
So our chapter is around I think like two hundred
and seventy five members. We have a house obviously on campus,
which is different than some schools.
Speaker 7 (28:29):
Yeah, I kind of do it all.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
We do have a facilities director who's in the chapter,
so they kind of do most of the facilitation with
the members. But yes, I handle all of the maintenance
that goes on. Right now, we're getting our house renovated,
so I'm kind of handling a lot of the deliveries
and meeting with people who have to come look at
the house. I think we had maybe ten people come
(28:51):
to the house to look at our floors, so meeting
with them every every day when they would come. I'm
not in charge of the other employees, so our kitchen
staff or the house cleaner, those are managed separately. But
I do have a good relationship with them too. I
talk to them every day. I normally if they need something. Normally,
(29:12):
I do make the calls if it has to do
with maintenance specifically, and sometimes I'm a liaison two.
Speaker 7 (29:18):
To like the Upper House Corporation.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Wow, so serious job. This is not a joke.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
It is a lot of work, and I think some
people don't understand that.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, going into it sounds like a lot of work.
Today I'm learning that it's a lot of work. Tell
me about I don't know, something crazy that's happened, Something
funny that's happened. Tell like our listeners want to know,
you know, they're definitely going to be listening and thinking,
here is this young, adorable person and she's the house director.
Has anything crazy happened?
Speaker 7 (29:49):
I don't know about crazy.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
The members really are so sweet and they're so respectful,
which is really nice. I mean, of course there's things
that go on I'm sure maybe a little bit under
my nose, but I feel like the craziest thing. Especially
at our school, the houses are a little bit older,
so it will just be any random day, any random weekend,
something breaks, something stops working, he goes out, the ac
(30:14):
goes out, the dishwasher brakes, and you're just like, what
am I supposed to be? I'm like twenty four.
Speaker 7 (30:21):
Before, like, I don't know who to call you out
for me?
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Right?
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Literally, your mom? I do.
Speaker 7 (30:27):
Sometimes I think this is actually my job. I need
you know everyone.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Do you have other house moms you can call? Is
there any community of house moms? Really?
Speaker 7 (30:37):
Definitely, So that's nice.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
Our school has not too many sororities, so the community
is pretty small and they're really nice everyone. Most of
the other house directors have been here for a little
bit longer, so they are really open about sharing contacts
of people that they use, like like recycling people or
past Everyone's really open about sharing who they use, so
(31:03):
I can always kind of reach out to them, which
is really nice. And then also like my bosses who
work for the chapter, they're always there to help me
to yeah anything, so.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Right, right, do you see yourself doing this? For a
long time.
Speaker 5 (31:20):
Honestly, no, because I was kind of using this while
I was in grad school to just to help me
make a little bit more money.
Speaker 7 (31:28):
And I'm a stable place to live.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
But if I was in like a transitional period, I
totally would keep doing it. And I totally understand why
some like older women who maybe are single and whose
kids have you know, grown up, do it because it
really does give you a really.
Speaker 7 (31:48):
Amazing sense of community. You're never lonely.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
I mean, you're around time, and it is it is
a really lucky job to have. I think, Yeah, I
mean it gets you a lot of which is.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Well, what about your personal life? Is it hard to
I don't know. I don't know. Are you single?
Speaker 6 (32:06):
No?
Speaker 7 (32:07):
I do have a boyfriend, Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
So how is it managing that? Is he allowed to
come see you at the house? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (32:15):
So we are long distance, so it doesn't make it
too hard just because he's like, we're not in the
same place all the time. And then the way our
house is set up is I kind of have a
separate apartment and that has a separate entrance.
Speaker 7 (32:29):
So yeah, so he is allowed over, but he has
to use like.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
That separate entrance and then he's not really allowed to
be in like the main house without me because our
house is a public space for members, so they are
allowed to have guests over in the daytime. So it's
kind of a similar, a similar idea, like he's allowed
here when he's with me in the day during meals,
but yeah, definitely not allowed like by himself and like
(32:55):
to want for her anything.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yeah, has have you ever had to manage something dangerous
that's happened? Has there ever been anything where you're like, Okay,
I am twenty four years old, I can't I mean
to that. Have you had anything specific you could think of?
Speaker 5 (33:11):
I'm a couple things not really have to do with me,
but I know there was a member who kind of
had a strange run in with an older man, and
just we kind of had to like be on the
lookout and just like know that if you know, anyone
approached the house, like trying to like draw a boundary
of just like don't let anybody in the house that
(33:32):
you don't know if someone's knocking asking for someone, like
kind of I need to be that first line of
defense almost like I will come and approach them. And
it does seem a little interesting because you know, I'm
telling these twenty one year olds to tell me.
Speaker 7 (33:46):
A twenty year yeah, you know, like let me know.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
So I can kind of deal with it. But I
mean that's just kind of the job that you have
to do, like you are still supposed to kind of
be in this you know.
Speaker 7 (33:56):
Protective space course, of course.
Speaker 5 (33:59):
And I was in an executive position when I was
in the sorority and undergrad so I think I kind
of already have that mentality of like I've I've had
to kind of what's the word, Like I've had to
be like the face of the chapter before and kind
of like be the first line of right.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Of course.
Speaker 7 (34:18):
Yeah, I'm kind of used to it.
Speaker 5 (34:20):
And I don't I don't mind telling a man to
you know, go away.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Would you recommend this? Do you think this is something
that you would tell your friends that are maybe just
graduating that this is you know, a great segue maybe
into something else, or you would one.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
Hundred I have said so many times like I feel
so grateful for the opportunity because it kind of just
worked out timing wise, like our old house director was
changing into a different career and my old advisors just
reached out and was like, Hey, they didn't even ask
me specifically, they were just like, do you know anyone interested?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Right?
Speaker 7 (34:58):
And I've been thinking about it and it was.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
Like, you know, this could be a really awesome opportunity,
especially in that school where you know money, money can
be tight. Totally, so I one hundred percent recommend it.
I think maybe you need to know your kind of
personality and what the chapter is like going into it,
and I think it made it easier just being familiar
with the chapter obviously, but I recommend it, especially young people.
(35:24):
If the chapter is open to having a younger house director.
I think that it makes your relationship really good and
they just trust you a lot.
Speaker 7 (35:32):
More and they of course their issues.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you so much, you guys
for joining us for this episode of Dirty Rush. Make
sure you follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Dirty
Rush Podcast. We look forward to talking to you again.
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia, Judice Davy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler. Hi, guys,
welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush. Today, we
are joined by the women who truly see it all
the backbone of every sorority house. They run the show,
(00:23):
keep the chaos somewhat under control, and somehow know everything
before anyone else does. We are talking about sorority house moms,
or they are officially known house directors. Trust me, nothing
gets past them. All right, let me get into it.
Well first, my, so we're going back now, guys, to
nineteen eighty eight. So I did have a house mom
(00:43):
at University of Texas at the AFI House. And the
only name I know that she has is Aunt Millie.
So that's what we called her, and I feel like
her name almost completely describes her. She was like an aunt,
like an older aunt, and from what I remember, I'm
sorry at Millie. She was a little stuffy, a little strict,
(01:07):
and she was there in a motherly capacity. I don't
think she was a house mom that let's say we
ran to with our boy problems per se. She was
just really trying to control the chaos that is a
sorority house. But our guests are fabulous. They are going
(01:28):
to give you the dirt and talk a little bit
about how they got into this line of business. So okay,
let's go ahead and bring in our first house director,
and her name is c. C. Calvo. Welcome, Hi, How
are you here?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I'm good?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Are you sure you are a director of a house
because you look like you're you should be in a house.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I get that so often of that.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
I started out when I was twenty seven, So just
imagine how much younger I look now.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Then wait, you're older than twenty seven.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I'm thirty nine.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Look at you, well done, you look twenty two.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Genetics.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, I was saying before we brought you in that
my house mother, which is what we called her back
in nineteen eighty eight. Her name was Aunt Millie and
she did not look like Ceci, and I just tried
to picture how, first of all, how did this happen?
How did you get this job? Tell me a little bit.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So so I started out, I am a serty woman.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
I wasn't a chapter advisor for my chapter back home
in Miami, and we were at a training that happened
to coincide with a training for house corporations and house directors,
And at some point in conversation we were all done
with the weekend and at the airport, I had been
saying how much I loved interacting with the women as
an advisor, and I wish that there was kind of
a different way to interact with them and just be
(02:48):
more involved. And someone from a housing corporation was like,
you know, you'd make such a great house bomb, and
I was I looked around.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I was like me, I'm like, I mean, isn't that
like typically.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
One for someone older at like Millie?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:05):
And I wanted to choose my words very carefully because
she was an older woman, and she was like, we know,
traditionally that's what we've always had, is the older house directors.
But one thing we talked about this weekend was how
a younger house director has a lot of benefits you
understand the.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Generation a little bit more. And I had to take
a pause and be like, yeah, that's technically true.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
There's sometimes I question writings, right, But the other thing
is like liability.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
You know, you are so good at.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
You know, if you break your leg in the house,
like you're gonna keep working. And I was like, it's
sad that you know that. And she was like, but
an older person like the And I was like, oh,
they might break their hip or something.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
And be out. She's like, well, that's a lot worse.
And I was like, oh, that took a darker turn
than I am thought.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Yeah, And so I started looking into it and it
just kind of happened.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Wow. So just so I'm clear, So are you a
housemum for the same sorority that you were a member of? Oh,
but I have been Okay, so you've moved around a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yeah, I moved around a little bit. I've worked in
California for two years. I did two years in New
Jersey actually at Rutgers in New Brunswick at Zeta where
Gia was a member.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
So I was.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I was the house director the year before.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
She got missed her.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I just missed her, but I did get me.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
So when I got to me Teresa when she did
her book tour and was going around, and I worked
for another organization in Orlando, Florida, and now I'm in
North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Wow, Okay, so this is not just a job for you.
You're not just segueing into something else.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
This is your career, this is my career currently.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I guess it puts a new spin on it on
being a house director because of Ann Millie. I think
that is a woman who's maybe retired and I, you know,
really sort of vary into sorority or Greek life or
was in their heyday. But this is a different thing.
Are more women your age becoming interested in doing this?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
We are seeing a really big uptick in younger house directors.
The campus that I'm currently at actually has a majority
of house directors that are in their early thirties. And
I have been my experience has always been the older
house directors on campuses.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I've been the youngest at.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
The last three campuses by at least twenty five.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Thirty years, right.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So it's been.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Really refreshing to see kind of younger house directors joining
and really being a part of it and using it
as a stepping stone either to get into some sort
of housing position within their national organizations or national organization,
or just to really get the experience and kind of
like figure out if this is something that they.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Want to continue doing.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Wow, So do you think it is something you want
to continue doing.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I definitely do.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
I've loved it so far. I've been a house director
for about eleven years. This fall, I did take a
year off when I had a family member passed away.
That was a little hard for me to kind of
want to dedicate another year. But I came back into
it and I was in my last house for the
last five years and then decided I needed to change
and moved up and I'm closer to family now. So
(06:15):
it's really nice and it definitely has its ups and downs,
but it's such a great job, especially if you love
connecting with college age members.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Well, tell me, like, what does your job look like
on a daily Like what's a typical day.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
So a typical day can be really a lot of
different things. You're either super busy to the point where
like there have been days where I am NonStop from
like seven in the morning to like nine o'clock at night,
or even past that when the members have socials, and
I'll forget to eat, Like there have been days where
I've forgotten to grab lunch and I have to like
stop myself and be like, wait, did I only am
(06:50):
I only surviving off of coffee. Is that what's.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Happening right now, right right, But.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
It can be anything from you know, morning meetings with
having vendors coming out, plumbers, hvac work, checking in with
the staff. I like to do that a couple times
a day, just to make sure that you know, housekeeping
is up to date. At the kitchen, I would like
to check in make sure they have everything they need.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
If there's anything that they need me.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
To go get for them, or the members need anything,
I can go out and run errands.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
And then there's some days.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Where you're just sitting here waiting for something to happen.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah. Yeah, how much would you say, what's the percentage
of the logistic part of your job, like you know,
making sure that hv is working, as opposed like being
there for the girls. I mean I would think that
there's a lot of that involved as well, right, And
also I'm picturing that you have to you're sort of
the disciplinarian kind of kind of okay.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Yeah, so a lot of being a house director is, yes,
it's really the property management aspect of it. You are
taking care of the physical house, making sure it's running correctly,
but a large part of it is also the members.
Not every organization has their house directors as involved, but
I have always wanted to make sure that my number
one job is the health, safety and well being of
(08:06):
the members.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
That is the end all be all for me. I
need to make sure that.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
They are happy and healthy because it causes me a
lot less problems, right And I love to interact with
them and help them out with events if they need it,
or help them with you know, I've done anything from
like tutoring members in Spanish to just going and supporting
them when they invite me to things. I think that's
probably my favorite part, is when they go out of
(08:33):
their way to invite you to make sure that they
want you there to support them.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, I mean, because you are such a great age
I would think for in terms of like having a
friendship with these girls, is it a hard line ever?
Because you know they probably want to hang out with
you and get wasted and you know, oh yeah, do
so do you have to sort of, you know, maintain
an era of professionalism or can you kind of have
(08:59):
some fun with them?
Speaker 4 (09:00):
And I've always from my chapter advisor days, again, I'm
a very much younger person and always been close in
age with the members that I'm dealing with. So I've
always been friendly but not friends, right and.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Let them know.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
And I always say that in the beginning when I
meet with them, it's like I can be your best
friend or your worst enemy.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
The choice is yours. At the end of the day.
You know, I'm not here to be best friends with
you guys, and you know, like Brady each other's hair
and stuff.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
But I do always want the members to feel comfortable
coming to talk to me, and I tell them that,
you know, if you guys want to come talk to me,
and if it's something sort of related or school related
or personal, like if you just need somebody to listen.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
To you, my door is always open. My door is
always open.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
You are welcome to come and talk to me, and
I can literally just listen. And if you need me
to give you advice or suggestions, we can work together
on that. If it's just you just need somebody to
listen to you, I'm just here to hear.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
So it sounds like we say house director now not
house mom, which certainly makes sense in this occasion. But
my question is do you feel like a mom sometimes?
I mean, I would imagine that you are rallying all
of these let's I mean, let's call them kids for
our purposes. What are they? Sometimes they are what nineteen.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, they're between the ages of like eighteen and twenty one,
twenty two sometimes.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
The title really changes and it's really dependent on the person.
A lot of house directors when I first started, referred
to it as like oh, house mom, or they were
like mom B or mom.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
D you know.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
And I was twenty seven, twenty eight years old, and
I was like, I.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Am no one's mom.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Yeah right, And so when we settled on my first house,
we settled on my nickname was HD because house director
is the formal title and I wasn't. I didn't want
to be a mom anything, and so we settled on HD.
I've gone by my full name, Cecilia. At my previous house,
I was CC. Here I miss CC. So we just
added a little formality to it because we're in the South. Ye,
(11:01):
So it's been It definitely has this moments where you
have to kind of remember, like you're you're an adult,
or as my girls one time called it, you're the
adult adult in the house.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, yeah, okay, good, I like that. Have you ever
had a moment when you have to like step in
and you didn't feel maybe because you are a certain
age capable of hand of handling you know, these young
women's issues. I would think that it would be I mean,
it's overwhelming for me at age fifty seven sometimes and
my kids are a little older than college age now.
But do you feel equipped to handle, you know, everything
(11:34):
that gets thrown at you. I would think it would
be challenging at times.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
I definitely feel like there's been times where I shouldn't
or I don't think I was capable of handling something,
and I will try very hard to acknowledge that where
I'm like, this is above my pay grade. There's some
things that I'm equipped to deal with as the house director,
and there's some things that I'm not, And I will
outsource it to the you know, the housing corporation or
(11:59):
the Chapter Advice and just you know, send it off
through and just be like, hey, this came to me,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
What to do.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
What would you like me to do? And what are
these situations like? And I've had a myriad of things
from mental health issues to sexual assault confessions, and you
just kind of have to deal with it. I try
and do training as much as I can. And we
do have a house director's conference that I like to attend.
(12:25):
I try and attend every summer just because it helps
me reset and I get to share with other house directors,
either my age or older and learn from their experiences
and kind of have that back and forth. And it
really does give me like a mental and physical like
reset button before I start.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
My next semester.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah. I'm wondering though, like what is your life like
living in the house. Are you able to have your
own social life? I don't know, Like, you know, you're
going out on dates two unless I don't know if
you're married or no? No, so are you dating? You're
living in the house? You have you know your own
Can you have a pet in the house for the
listeners that may be interested in doing something like this?
Speaker 5 (13:04):
I do.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
I actually have my This is Louie b. He is
my animal companion and has been for the last fifteen years. Oh,
this is the second house that I've been allowed to
have him at when I'm not when I haven't been
in a house where he's allowed, I usually have him
with my parents. My mom takes care of him during
the year and for the most part, for.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Ten months out of the year, I am this is
my life.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I will still have times where I can go out
and socialize and hang out with friends. I try and
keep that to like evenings and sparingly and on the weekends,
especially because most of the time the members are off
having fun going to the beach or like hanging out
with their friends are going home. So I mean, I'll
try and make time for myself to go and just
distress because it can be really difficult. Like you said,
(13:51):
we live here in the house and another house director
and I were just talking about this the other day.
You know, when we get upset or when some we
have a bad day, our staff is lucky they get
to go home and you know, throw things and just
like decompress. We this is our home, like our apartments,
our suites are usually in the house. We can't exactly
(14:14):
throw a temper tantrum and slam the door because.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Our problems are on the other side of that door.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
We just have to find ways of like you know,
resetting and just escaping the house for a little bit,
even if it's just going for a walk around the
campus or in my case, I have again, like I said,
I have family nearby, so on the weekends, I'll go
hang out with my cousins, or we'll have family dinner
once a month.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
So I'll make sure.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
To just keep leave my schedule open for that so
that I know I can have some time just be
normal and kind of get away from the house and.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Have that break.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, do you see this as I'm not talking about
you personally necessarily, but like as a long term career
for a woman who because it's so it's such a
specific thing, right, You're living in a submerty house with
a bunch of young women. You don't have your own
space except for your room, I would think, or you're stained,
and I don't know what it would be like to
(15:06):
even have a relationship in a situation like this. I
don't think that any house directors can have a significant other?
Can they? Is that allowed?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
They can? They can?
Speaker 4 (15:14):
In fact, yeah, when I was a new member twenty
something years ago of my sorority, I actually there was
a chapter that I was very familiar with that had
a house mom and house dad.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Really she was married.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Her husband basically was the maintenance worker, I like, the
handyman basically for the house and in the current organization
I work at, they actually allow you to have a spouse.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Oh wow.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
They're not allowed to be on the meal plan like
you are, but they are allowed to like live in
with you, and they are subject to the same rules
you are. They allowed to basically stay in the suite
and then just go in and out, but not like
free range.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Of the house.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Wow. What do you think is the most rewarding part
of being a house director?
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
I love I love it the end of your time
with them, when they're ready to graduate, when they thank
you and you realize you don't you know, a lot
of the time, we don't realize how much of an
impact the little time that we have with them makes. Right,
But when they do graduate, or when they do tell you,
like you you saying this did so much for me, Like,
(16:18):
you don't know how much this meant to me.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I have had a number of experiences that way.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
When I left my most recent house, I got so
many letters that the women of the chapter and I
cried so hard.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Oh well, they're all very lucky young women. Thank you
so much for coming on CC. All right, you guys,
(16:53):
So next we have Crystal. Hi.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
We're excited to have you, and apparently you have been
a house director for six years at an ACC school.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Correct, I had, right, Yes, I've also worked at Big
Ten as well.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Wow. Well, like our guest right before you, you look
way too young to have been doing this for that long.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Tell us please a little bit about how you got
into this. How did you become a house director?
Speaker 6 (17:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Absolutely so. My trajectory is a little unique.
Speaker 6 (17:25):
Because I think I was getting my master's at university
in the North, so Big Ten at the time, and
part of the work that you do for a master's
program is you do have something that's called an assistant ship,
and so that was a resident director role for a
sorority organization I was there, So that was the Big Ten.
(17:49):
I worked for a university owned house for about two
years there and then transition to what is like formerly
known as like a house director role to another organization
right at that exact same campus and work there for
another two years, and then I made my way back
to the South which is home for me, to ACC
(18:11):
school and have been in this role for about four
years now.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Cool. What do you think is the hardest part and
what do you think is the most fun part? Of
doing this.
Speaker 6 (18:21):
Hardest part is I think you having to strike well,
I'll say two things, probably striking a balance of like
my own personal life and the professional space and reputation
that I want to have. And so by that I
mean you live in with the women. That's not every
house director's experience. Some have like houses that are adjacent.
(18:42):
Some are just like more stop in property management type roles.
But for those of us who are in the fire
together living in with the women, you're living with you know,
forty to one hundred, you know, depending on how large
the house can hold collegiate women, and you know they
have their moments, and so I think just trying to
(19:05):
again know that you have to kind of be on
the moment that you step out of your suite, which
is you know, pretty visible. Girls can access you twenty
four to seven. And so I think it's just again
making sure that I have hobbies, I have interests that
if it's something educationally I want to pursue, that I'm
doing those things for myself, if it's connecting with family,
(19:26):
that I'm still doing those things. I think sometimes my
family can get like weirded out trying.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
To come and visit me because it's like, yeah, seven
hundred people that they every single time.
Speaker 6 (19:35):
That they're come to the house, but when they sit
down and have dinner with me and it's like, oh,
you have a private chef, I'm like, yes, I do
have a lot of great.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Perks for that.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Really bad, Okay, it's not.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
It's not. I don't have a grocery build and that
feels good.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Not yeah, not bad And hopefully you don't rent so
and all that is a plus.
Speaker 6 (19:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
So what about are you in a relationship? Can I
ask you? Are? Okay? So how do you balance that?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Somebody like myself who's had a long term partner, the
women get used to their presence at the house, right,
and so they're not necessarily a stranger. But I could
imagine somebody navigating dating and that being a well, this
is my space, but it's a shared space. And so
I think you got to get clear on the policies.
(20:20):
You gotta get clear with the house corporation what the
dos and don'ts are a lot of I will say
for my work, university owned housing have live in partner policies.
You sign in a dindum where you have your partner
have a background check.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
So they go through all the kind.
Speaker 6 (20:33):
Of jump holes and bells and whistles, if you will,
to make sure operationally and liability wise.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Everybody's covered and everybody's get to go.
Speaker 6 (20:42):
But it's a benefit to have a suite that is
just dedicated to me and my space, and I get
to decorate at how I want and all those things.
And I've been fortunate my House Corporation has furnished it,
so you know, my partner will come here. We tend
not to be in other spaces outside of the dining
room when they're like events that the girls have put
on philanthropy for example. But you know, this is what
(21:06):
I will always say about house directors. I'm like, live
your life, like, have your relationships again, do the things
that bring you joy, because your life is so much
of the work and you can't really escape it, right.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Because you live.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I wonder like, does that make it in terms of
moving forward moving through the years. Is this something that
you think you can do long term? Is it that
kind of a career or is it something that you
are always thinking of next steps?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I think for me it has been a bit of both.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
So I think coming from getting my masters again doing
student affairs work like I can absolutely make this a career.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
I can stay within a house director role.
Speaker 6 (21:50):
I can jump to different universities throughout, so I can
again just a mass I think, and have greater chapter
sizes if you will, right, going Tobama right, that kind
of thing, I think is progression because you're dealing with
a larger house, you're dealing with different staff. But I
also think you can kind of segue into national officer
(22:12):
roles for different organizations.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Right.
Speaker 6 (22:14):
There are a lot of property manager roles that will
go to each house and kind of help to guide
and take care of the house directors there, so that
can be a segue too. I think for me, I'm
probably going to do something different if that's continuing to
work up my way in terms of higher education and
student affairs work. I don't think this will be the
(22:35):
end all, be all, but I am so grateful to
have the experience because I don't pay rent. I am
close proximity to the downtown area where I live at.
I love this chapter to death and they have been honestly,
the three that I've worked for, they're really great.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
What makes what makes them better the best store?
Speaker 6 (22:55):
Honestly, I think the girl one I was navigating the
pandemic with a couple of the and that everybody was
just losing.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
And so, yeah, it is is brutal.
Speaker 6 (23:05):
It's not the kind of sisterhood that they wanted to
curate for themselves, right, And then others were just wild
and I'm like, y'all are giving me a headache. I
don't want to deal with all of your foolishness. All
I want so this, this group has been really awesome,
and I'm close to family, which is so grounding for me.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Right, that's so nice. So without asking you this personally,
so let's just say big picture, it would be good
money and being a house director.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 6 (23:30):
I think if you can find I'll say the ideal
situation is maybe you have a part time house director
role and you have an on campus.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Or other job.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Right.
Speaker 6 (23:42):
I have known and worked with house directors who are
also nurses, house directors who are also police officers, house
directors who had other campus jobs, right, And so I
think you can really make it work for you. Those
are probably the lower end of the pay scale, but yeah,
I will say you can have full time pay and salary,
(24:03):
you can have great benefits depending on how the university
has structured the relationship or if the national organization has
those things in place. So yeah, I do think it
can be really good money. It's not the most well
paid job, but you got to think about I think
the additional benefits ran all of the things, the.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Food and going to save money for.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
A house for your own house, right, not just And
I will also say every time the women leave, I'm like,
I have a mansion, so that feels great.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Bye, enjoy your spring break far, get out of here.
Don't let the divide bull of the door. Here are
you well? Listen, thank you so much for coming on.
We really have enjoyed talking to you. I wish that
I had had a house director like you as a
pupposed to the sort of crotchety older woman that I had.
But anyway, enjoy doing what you're doing. And thank you
(24:58):
so much for coming on. Dirty rush. All right you guys.
So now our next guest is miss Ashley. Hi Ashley, Hey,
(25:20):
how are you well? How are you doing?
Speaker 7 (25:23):
Doing pretty good?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
I say, Miss Ashley. I'm assuming you're not a missus
because you look very young to me also to be
a house director. But can I ask you how old.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
You are sure? Yes, I'm twenty four years old.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Wow, are you sure You've been out of college barely?
Speaker 5 (25:39):
I got went into my master's program right out of
undergrad so yeah, I'm only two years postgrad.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
So your masters. You're getting your master's in Yes.
Speaker 7 (25:49):
I'm getting my master's in public health.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Okay, so you are you're doing this? You're a house
director and you're getting your master's at the same time. Yes, correct,
busy girl. Yes, he's a young lady. Yes, young woman. Wow.
I mean I just I'm looking at you and I
just can't help but think that you must have some
stories to tell.
Speaker 5 (26:09):
Right, Yeah, I was in a sorority for four years
and now have been the house director for just one year.
But I'm the house director at the same school that
I was.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Get out. Wait, okay, so what was your house director
like when you were in the house.
Speaker 7 (26:23):
She was nice. She was a little older than me.
She was around sixty.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
I'm so older.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Yeah, we didn't have like a close relationship by any means,
but you know, she was she was there and around, and.
Speaker 7 (26:37):
She was a little silly, a little sillyer than me.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
I think, how do you think you're doing it? Differently.
What is I mean, it's obvious to me that these
you know, these young women are going to look at
you differently than they did a sixty year old woman.
But do you think you're Are you closer to them
than maybe your house director was to you? Is do
you think it's easier to be your age more difficult?
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:59):
I think that there's only pros and cons. I think
I am a little bit closer with them. I was
a senior when they were freshmen the members that live
in the house currently, so we already kind of had
this established relationship before I came into the house director role.
And yeah, I definitely think it makes us closer. They're
a lot more comfortable with me, and you know, can
(27:21):
come to me if they need things, and you know,
I friends is like, maybe, you know, not the right
word because there has to be some boundaries. But we're
definitely very comfortable with each other. But then you know,
sometimes it can't make it hard when you have to
draw a boundary of being in a place of authority,
it's a little bit different.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Do they want you to party with them? Do they
try to get you too?
Speaker 7 (27:43):
They asked me.
Speaker 5 (27:43):
Sometimes I can't ever tell if they're being serious or not.
But that is actually one thing I don't do.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
I don't party with them at all, but they do.
They do invite me out sometimes.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'll bet they do. I'll bet they do. So Okay,
So tell me a little bit in terms of what
you're doing every day, because is it a lot of
just sort of being there for the girls, talking them
through stuff, or being a disciplinarian, or is it more
We talked to a couple of other house directors. They
are running the house, so they are in charge of
the maintenance of the house and the employees, and so
(28:15):
you're doing all of that as well.
Speaker 7 (28:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
So our chapter is around I think like two hundred
and seventy five members. We have a house obviously on campus,
which is different than some schools.
Speaker 7 (28:29):
Yeah, I kind of do it all.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
We do have a facilities director who's in the chapter,
so they kind of do most of the facilitation with
the members. But yes, I handle all of the maintenance
that goes on. Right now, we're getting our house renovated,
so I'm kind of handling a lot of the deliveries
and meeting with people who have to come look at
the house. I think we had maybe ten people come
(28:51):
to the house to look at our floors, so meeting
with them every every day when they would come. I'm
not in charge of the other employees, so our kitchen
staff or the house cleaner, those are managed separately. But
I do have a good relationship with them too. I
talk to them every day. I normally if they need something. Normally,
(29:12):
I do make the calls if it has to do
with maintenance specifically, and sometimes I'm a liaison two.
Speaker 7 (29:18):
To like the Upper House Corporation.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Wow, so serious job. This is not a joke.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
It is a lot of work, and I think some
people don't understand that.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, going into it sounds like a lot of work.
Today I'm learning that it's a lot of work. Tell
me about I don't know, something crazy that's happened, Something
funny that's happened. Tell like our listeners want to know,
you know, they're definitely going to be listening and thinking,
here is this young, adorable person and she's the house director.
Has anything crazy happened?
Speaker 7 (29:49):
I don't know about crazy.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
The members really are so sweet and they're so respectful,
which is really nice. I mean, of course there's things
that go on I'm sure maybe a little bit under
my nose, but I feel like the craziest thing. Especially
at our school, the houses are a little bit older,
so it will just be any random day, any random weekend,
something breaks, something stops working, he goes out, the ac
(30:14):
goes out, the dishwasher brakes, and you're just like, what
am I supposed to be? I'm like twenty four.
Speaker 7 (30:21):
Before, like, I don't know who to call you out
for me?
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Right?
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Literally, your mom? I do.
Speaker 7 (30:27):
Sometimes I think this is actually my job. I need
you know everyone.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Do you have other house moms you can call? Is
there any community of house moms? Really?
Speaker 7 (30:37):
Definitely, So that's nice.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
Our school has not too many sororities, so the community
is pretty small and they're really nice everyone. Most of
the other house directors have been here for a little
bit longer, so they are really open about sharing contacts
of people that they use, like like recycling people or
past Everyone's really open about sharing who they use, so
(31:03):
I can always kind of reach out to them, which
is really nice. And then also like my bosses who
work for the chapter, they're always there to help me
to yeah anything, so.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Right, right, do you see yourself doing this? For a
long time.
Speaker 5 (31:20):
Honestly, no, because I was kind of using this while
I was in grad school to just to help me
make a little bit more money.
Speaker 7 (31:28):
And I'm a stable place to live.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
But if I was in like a transitional period, I
totally would keep doing it. And I totally understand why
some like older women who maybe are single and whose
kids have you know, grown up, do it because it
really does give you a really.
Speaker 7 (31:48):
Amazing sense of community. You're never lonely.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
I mean, you're around time, and it is it is
a really lucky job to have. I think, Yeah, I
mean it gets you a lot of which is.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Well, what about your personal life? Is it hard to
I don't know. I don't know. Are you single?
Speaker 6 (32:06):
No?
Speaker 7 (32:07):
I do have a boyfriend, Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
So how is it managing that? Is he allowed to
come see you at the house? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (32:15):
So we are long distance, so it doesn't make it
too hard just because he's like, we're not in the
same place all the time. And then the way our
house is set up is I kind of have a
separate apartment and that has a separate entrance.
Speaker 7 (32:29):
So yeah, so he is allowed over, but he has
to use like.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
That separate entrance and then he's not really allowed to
be in like the main house without me because our
house is a public space for members, so they are
allowed to have guests over in the daytime. So it's
kind of a similar, a similar idea, like he's allowed
here when he's with me in the day during meals,
but yeah, definitely not allowed like by himself and like
(32:55):
to want for her anything.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yeah, has have you ever had to manage something dangerous
that's happened? Has there ever been anything where you're like, Okay,
I am twenty four years old, I can't I mean
to that. Have you had anything specific you could think of?
Speaker 5 (33:11):
I'm a couple things not really have to do with me,
but I know there was a member who kind of
had a strange run in with an older man, and
just we kind of had to like be on the
lookout and just like know that if you know, anyone
approached the house, like trying to like draw a boundary
of just like don't let anybody in the house that
(33:32):
you don't know if someone's knocking asking for someone, like
kind of I need to be that first line of
defense almost like I will come and approach them. And
it does seem a little interesting because you know, I'm
telling these twenty one year olds to tell me.
Speaker 7 (33:46):
A twenty year yeah, you know, like let me know.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
So I can kind of deal with it. But I
mean that's just kind of the job that you have
to do, like you are still supposed to kind of
be in this you know.
Speaker 7 (33:56):
Protective space course, of course.
Speaker 5 (33:59):
And I was in an executive position when I was
in the sorority and undergrad so I think I kind
of already have that mentality of like I've I've had
to kind of what's the word, Like I've had to
be like the face of the chapter before and kind
of like be the first line of right.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Of course.
Speaker 7 (34:18):
Yeah, I'm kind of used to it.
Speaker 5 (34:20):
And I don't I don't mind telling a man to
you know, go away.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Would you recommend this? Do you think this is something
that you would tell your friends that are maybe just
graduating that this is you know, a great segue maybe
into something else, or you would one.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
Hundred I have said so many times like I feel
so grateful for the opportunity because it kind of just
worked out timing wise, like our old house director was
changing into a different career and my old advisors just
reached out and was like, Hey, they didn't even ask
me specifically, they were just like, do you know anyone interested?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Right?
Speaker 7 (34:58):
And I've been thinking about it and it was.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
Like, you know, this could be a really awesome opportunity,
especially in that school where you know money, money can
be tight. Totally, so I one hundred percent recommend it.
I think maybe you need to know your kind of
personality and what the chapter is like going into it,
and I think it made it easier just being familiar
with the chapter obviously, but I recommend it, especially young people.
(35:24):
If the chapter is open to having a younger house director.
I think that it makes your relationship really good and
they just trust you a lot.
Speaker 7 (35:32):
More and they of course their issues.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you so much, you guys
for joining us for this episode of Dirty Rush. Make
sure you follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Dirty
Rush Podcast. We look forward to talking to you again.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.