April 18, 2026 • 24 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Hi, guys, welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
I am your host Jennifer Wessler, joined by your other host,
Jia Judice. Today we have a very special guest. This
friend of ours made history as the very first bachelorette
and is basically Indiana University Royalty Trista Sutter. What about
(00:31):
things that I hear You can get dropped from a
house for doing or not doing so, I guess like
not registering on time, but like also you can't tell
people what your top sororities are. You have to follow
every sorority on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
GA, is that true?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I do not really recall this when I was rushing,
but they are saying now that you have to follow
all of the sororities prior to rushing, otherwise you will
be dropped. I understand that to an extent, just to
show that you have an open mind and that you
do have interest in all of the sororities and you're
(01:08):
not being selective.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I mean, listen, we didn't have computers back in the day,
so I didn't have to worry about any of this.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah, I really don't think I followed all of the
sororities before rushing. I don't even know if I followed
any of them. I think it was let me rush
and whatever sorority I get in, then I'll follow you after.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Gee, do you think a part of that for you
was because you were already famous? And like I was
gonna say that, Yeah, I mean, I just think they
were probably all just vying for you. They all probably
wanted to yep, Like like, I don't think they gave
a you followed them or not. I would That's how
I would think it went down. I don't know for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I mean I still went through the process like anybody else,
but I do I'm not going to say that I
don't think that had an advantage to it, because that
would just be naive of me.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yeah, I mean, well, you weren't just famous, You're also Gia,
so of course they wanted you. But I mean, you
know I think that like that's yeah, it has to have.
I remember when I don't know if I'm not to
talk with this or not, but when Antonia, because Rachel
and Antonio both went to Delaware and Antonia ended up rushing.
She ended up joining rachel sorority, so Alpha FI. But
(02:20):
I remember that when she was getting there, they were
all just in a it was just a whirlwind everybody
wanted Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
So I mean, listen, I don't think we're I'm not
going to be naive to it. I don't think that
it put us at a disadvantage.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah, listen, it's okay, you have it coming, you have
it good.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Good.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Guess what you've been through enough? Being on a reality
TV should show your whole life. There should be some advantages.
Yeah right, I'm comfortable.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I'm comfortable with that.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, I guess that was the one advantage.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
God, So you guys, what do you guys think? Does
legacy status even matter anymore? Because I'm I'm hearing mixed things.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
I should, I I feel like it should. I'm sorry,
But if your family has a connection to a sorority,
why because I'm hearing that it's used against you.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
Why is it used against you? I have heard people.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Say that they don't want to put it on their
on their resume because before they even get to rush,
some girls are are said they're not invited to the
sorority for the first day or whatever based on their legacy.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Is that very heard this, It's very tricky.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
So with legacy one hundred percent, it should be valued.
And even when I was in Zata at Ruckers, when
I was rushing the new p and ms, there were
many times I guess when you put the girls list
(04:00):
through Nationals or whatever that portal they use, because now
obviously it's technology based, so it's a little easier to
figure out which girls are legacies or not. There was
a girl who was a legacy of Zada and she
did not get Zada. She got dropped, like within the
first round. And this had to have been my sorority
(04:22):
making a mistake, not realizing that she was a legacy.
So when that does happen, it does get messy because
obviously the girl who gets dropped, who knows that she
was a legacy, gets upset and then it's this whole thing.
But after that, odds are this girl doesn't even want
(04:42):
to be in the sorority knowing that they dropped her.
So it's like, I'm good, But I would say a
lot of the times it is a mistake, but it
does happen often that sororities are not I would say,
careful enough to really seek out who is a legacy
(05:03):
that is rushing and who is not because a lot
of the times girls.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Do get dropped. Do you think that that's partially because, like.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
After because it used to be so important, right, and
it could it would get you in, right, So.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Well, yeah, it's basically a token to get you in. Like,
but say, my daughter rushes, she should have legacy to
Zeta no matter where she goes, and she should get
in no matter what. Right.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
But what I was going to ask was that, do
you think that after all these years, like people like, well,
guess what, the mother was great, but the daughter not
so much, and now we have to take her, and
like there's like a revolt against that.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Like like lesson I think I think people I'm sure,
you know, committees on sororities, and I'm sure they have
their fair share of saying that like, Okay, this girl's
a legacy, but I really don't think she fits in
with our sorority too bad. If she wants to be
(06:00):
in your sorority, you have.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
To accept her. Yeah, that's so right.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
So that's feel like I feel halfway through so I
kind of feel like in between. I feel like, so
when I was rushing, if you were a legacy, and
you made it on your own accord, like based on
your personality, based on your experiences, based on what you've accomplished,
based on the potential you had, right that, if you
(06:28):
made it on your own accord to pref Nite, so
the very final night of Rush, then if you still
were if you still had that sorority that you were
a legacy at on your list at pref Night, then
you were in no matter what. So I was a
legacy at Kyo and I made it to Kyo pref Night.
(06:51):
So if I had chosen Kyo then I could have
then I would have one hundred percent gotten in, right,
but I chose to go Alpha Kai. So so I
feel like they should at least not make it so
that it's harder for you to get into the sorority, because,
like I'm a great saying, I'm hearing that people are
(07:12):
are discounted for having that legacy. I don't think they
should be discounted, but I do still think that they
should like mesh with the sorority, that they should show
that they're they have a great personality that they're going
to fit in with whatever this sorority is and then
make it to prefnite, and if they make it to
pref Nite, then they then they're in, you know what I.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Mean, Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
I think that I wonder if part of this whole
legacy thing started because sororities are expensive. We know this, right, Yeah,
you spend a lot of money and you're I don't know,
maybe you feel like if you've spent thousands of dollars,
you know, not just sometimes not just you know, during
the four years, but you're giving to your sorority. Let's say,
you know for years, you're you're right, you're going or
(07:59):
you're running for who whatever it is, and there's an
expectation there, right like I'm I'm giving all this money.
I spent so much money. I want my daughter in.
So I think that's probably part of it.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
It totally makes sense.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I think kind of what you were saying Tristall, like
if the legacy who is rushing does not want to
end up at the in that sorority, and they choose
to not be at that in that sorority at the.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
End of the day, so be it.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
But the sorority should never kick them out before they
have the choice to choose.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah, I mean before they even show who they are
as a person, and and like you don't even have
the chance to get to know them. That's what I
have a really big problem with. I just don't understand
why sororities don't give legacies a chance to even get
to know you, and they cut you before they even
meet you.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I think that's kind of bullshit too.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
I yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
So this is apparently a thing as well. So you
have to do certain things if you're going to rush
an SEC school, right, and you have to like do
them now, right, So you have to submit letters of
recommendation by May. First, polish your social resume, heavily, prep
script your P and M video, clean up your socials.
I mean, is SEC such a different thing.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Than other schools.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
I mean, I feel like you don't most schools want
that at this point, or most aurorities.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yeah, because SEC, like, yeah, it lets you.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Like have your parties, everything's ran by them.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Yeah, But I think that it's it's just a lot
more competitive, the whole rush process. I feel like because
of social media, you know, like or and you know,
especially tiktoks and know there are sororities that have gotten
famous off of right all those rights they put on
you know.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Like I get sucked those I me too. It's so embarrassing,
even like when Daisy went to go visit. So like
you watch one and then you watch a million. But
I'm watching these nineteen twenty twenty one year old girls
dance from their sorority house.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
So like, Jennifer, get a life. Why am I watching
one after the other?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Of what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Exactly?
Speaker 5 (10:29):
It's nuts, it is, it's crazy.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
And they have to like perform, you know, to like
bring girls in, Like they want the best of the best,
so they need to actually show, you know that they
are the best of the best. It's just so competitive
in the Southern schools. And I think actually that's part
of why these Southern schools are so popular because they
have put out this you know, these huge platforms on
(10:54):
TikTok and Instagram. Right, people are drawn in, even people
like you and me who are not rushing anytime.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
Soon joke, right, I know, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
It's crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
At sorority rush coach talks about ways that what people
like you now just to can support your daughter going
through rush, not this fall for your girl, but next fall. Right,
you have to be her recruitment secretary and track down
the alumni, help plan outfits, practice conversations, be there twenty
four to seven. I should be there twenty four to
(11:26):
seven to my daughter. For God, you are out of luck.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah, definitely not. I'm sorry. They also need to like
spread their wings and do it on.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
The hell out of here, connected with resources like a
rush coach. This is not how again, this is not
how we roll here in the Fessler household. But but
I guess maybe it's good advice for people to go
going to SEC schools or Southern schools. Yeah, I'm gonna
be my daughter's secretary. She's my fucking secretary. Yeah, her secretary. Yeah,
I am a parent secretary.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Oh man, I mean, and I will say I probably
will do all the things. I'll be your secretary because
I am actually so sad that my kids are going
to be leaving and I'm going to be an empty nester.
So I am going to extend that as long as possible,
and I will be there, Blakeslee, I will be there
for you twenty four to seven.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
You just call me at two in the morning.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I am not surprised. I am not surprised to hear this.
I'm not even a little bit.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Okay, I feel like you're saying it though, because you're
about to be an empty nester, so you want to
cherish every last moment. I do, Like, I mean, I
totally get that.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah, I mean I get my mom.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah, no, like right now, Audriana, she's sixteen, so she's
about to get her license.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Which is like second eg.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
But my mom is like her does everything for her.
Audreanna says, Boo, my mom drops everything, and she's like yeah,
but I want to, like, this is my last time
driving her around.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
And it's got you know when you drive your kids
to school.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
And I understand what she's saying, that's like your time
to bond and talk and ketojia.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
But by the way, it's because you had such a special, wonderful,
devoted mother.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Just so you are such a special, devoted, wonderful mother.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Not so much, Okay, I got news for you.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Empty nesting is the greatest. I'm sorry. I don't mean to.
I know that's not what you may believe or think.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
You want to hear empty nesting is a gift. And
by the way, they come back all the time. Anyway,
I can't get rid of I got one upstairs right now.
She's twenty three.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Okay, No, I hope. I mean, I don't know I was.
I'm just not. You had a better mother, Gia, and
you are knowing you're.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
No stop that anyway, you're a great mom.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
But going back to that sec thing, I do think
the Southern schools by far put more pressure. So you know,
trusting your daughter is you know, she's thinking about going
to Obama right or she is going to bad Oh.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
No, that's my my friend. Yes, no, no, no, yeah no,
she's probably gonna end to me California.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Oh okay.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
And and I don't think that the rush the Greek,
the Greek system where she'll be is as nearly as intense.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yes, okay, okay, awesome.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, my friend who's going to Bama,
and she probably is already in a sorty even though
she's not, because she's made all these connections. She's you know,
had lunch, she is friends with these girls. Now, I
don't know, it's just it's just crazy that it happens
(14:39):
so early.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Just so early.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Why can't they get through high school and then worry
about this stuff when they get to college or at
least after they graduate, like the day after they graduate, fine,
but during their high school year it is just insane
to me that they have to agree about that. And
and honestly, now that we're talking, I'm like, gosh, if
if Blakesley is going to rush, maybe we should start
(15:05):
thinking about stuff now that.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I know.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Still it's making nervous. Well, I mean, but you also.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Have a friend who has a business, so she'll cut
you a deal.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
I'm sure, I hope. So you better help me out.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Ask her, have the conversation with her. If she really
feels like she needs that, and if you feel like
she needs that as a mom, then okay, but I'm
telling you I really don't think it is fully necessary.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
But the other piece, g you remember because you just
did it a few years ago. But like the pressure
of senior year, there's so much I remember senior year
just the prom dress alone, right, that is a twenty
four hour Oh, I guess we already.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
So she's got prom in like two weeks, and of
course all of the dresses that they want to order
now are all on TikTok, right, Okay, so these are
the only dresses that girls want to order.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Now, that's so crazy, right, you.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Don't go to a store.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
I'm like, we live in Denver, Colorado. We don't live
in Vail anymore. Like we can go to plenty of
stores and look at dresses. And she's like, no, Mom,
that's not how you do it. You have to like, look,
you have to find the dress or whatever. And then
as a mom, you have to make sure that these
websites are actually legit. You know that they're not like
scamming you out of your money. So we bought this
(16:42):
dress and I think it came from overseas, of course,
and then we get it and it doesn't fit, so
I have to return it and I think I returned
it to Kazakhstan or something that crazy. Yeah, it probably
costs you more than the dress to return it, right, right,
we did just find one, but oh my gosh, it
isn't How about like you have to do the bed, right,
(17:02):
you do the freaking in that. Nobody just a hell
out of here with this.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
No, I love one of my friends did that? Yeah
you did? Oh I'm not gonna.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, of course, I mean all of this stuff you do, right,
So I'm just hoping that that well, I really don't
care now because I'm out of it. But like for
someone like Chris that you have to like hire a
five thousand dollars coach, maybe it's the maybe that is
the way to go. I don't know, gosh, anyway, I
don't know.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
I just yeah, I mean, I'd rather that five thousand
dollars go towards something else, like a trip that we
make memories at, you know, or something like.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
That, or a bracelet for me. Oh yeah, it's bracelet
for me anyway. All right, So what about? There are
apparently P.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
And M video tips that will help you to stand out,
and if you go to at Sorority Rush Coach you
can find them. But it says be specific, tell your story,
check your lighting practice, show your unique non app academic traits.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I mean, I mean, okay, I understand that. I think
recording yourself is a lot more intimidating than just having
that like person to person connection and in person connection.
I think recording yourself can be intimidating and you're trying
to be engaging and peak somebody's interest through a video
(18:32):
I think that's definitely a little challenging. I do agree
with the good lighting. You know, get one of those
ring lights that you see all over TikTok and on Amazon.
And then yeah, you have to tell your story. I mean, obviously,
don't go through your whole academic portfolio and be boring,
because then that's a snooze fest. But I would talk about,
you know, if you were on the cheer team and
(18:52):
what you enjoyed most, and if you were in sports
or how involved you were, and you know, maybe tell
a funny story. I think that is my best advice.
But I do understand how it can be a little
awkward just trying to, you know, show somebody your personality
through a video. I think in person connection is a
(19:13):
lot better.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Yeah did you do a video?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Gia?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
No?
Speaker 4 (19:18):
I so I'm is this a thing like that everyone does?
Because I have not even I didn't even know what
this was until rite just this Rachel.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Oh did she Okay?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I didn't?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I believe she did.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I remember, well, she also was different things she rushed
during COVID.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But that's probably why I definitely.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
How to put something together. Yeah, that's definitely right, right,
so different, but.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
I wonder if that's what started it, you know, because
they had a videos or could have.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Maybe narrowed down like around or something or some I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
We went through it about a million times, that video,
so I have to admit, I.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Mean, honestly, that would be like the pressure situation is
coming up with a video where you're not going to
be cringey and you're going to be you know, come
across as somebody who they want to have in their
sorority and coming up with something super unique. It's kind
of like the videos that like, you guys didn't but
(20:16):
didn't have to do this, But when I applied to
be on The Bachelor, you know, like coming up with
a video that these people send in they submit to
be on reality shows, it's like coming up with something
like that that you show who you are, you showcase
your personality in a unique and fun way. But gosh,
the pressure for that too. But you're right, Lighting is
(20:38):
a girl's best friend. I always say that, So make
sure that you have really good lighting and a great story.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I agree, all right, ladies.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
So lastly, things that get you drop from sorority recruitment
bad talking of any of the houses, being mean, to
any of the girls during rush hallelujah.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I like that one talking about the bee.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
I'm thinking that means boys, gaze boys boys.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
If you are going out and drinking during rush, that
is a big no no. Basically during your entire rush process.
You it's called dry rush, like that's.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
What you're doing.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You are not going out, You're rushing in the sorority.
And if that's what you want to do, that's what
you want to do. I wouldn't fool around with any
boys that you don't know, because odds are they're probably
talking to one of your potential sorority sisters. So I
would just not do anything until after you're in the sorority.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Or you cannot do anything period, which is what I
told my daughter before.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
She was right, don't do don't drink, don't you try
to and no boys and that one over that one
over big yes, Oh, I'm for sure.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
I'm sure for sure sure her.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Oh yeah, she always does whatever I say, gospel for sure.
I mean I think those are probably good. Those are
I don't I have no album with.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
That, right.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Yeah's your life in general, just just whatever you would do,
Like if you're going to do something where I'm standing
right next to you, and you think that I'm going
to be judging you.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
That's what the girls are doing. So just assume.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
That is the best advice ever. Assume your mom is
standing right next to you. Yes, don't do anything of
that sort during Rush.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Rachel, you hear that, Yeah, I'd never listen to me.
It's working anyway, all right, ladies, so listen. That's it
for this episode of Dirty Rush. I loved this episode.
I loved the three of us together that. Yeah, this
is a very natural threesome I feel.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Like and wishing you the best of luck with Blakesley.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
Blakesley, Yeah, max Is.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Max is actually going to He's a senior, so he's
graduating in about a month, and so we're trying to
figure out what he's going to do. I don't think
he's going to be rushing, and fraternity Rush is a
whole different thing. That's a whole different podcast.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yes, yes, yes, I.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Will definitely be listening to the podcast if I don't
come back, and these come back all the tips for
wyn Blakesley wants to rush because honestly, the Rush experience
and the Greek life experience was the most special part
of my college experience, like still right, I still talk
to my ya right, you still get together, We still
(23:29):
text each other. We're on a big group text thread
and they are some of the most important people in
my life. So I would love for my daughter to
experience it too. It will depend on the college that
she goes to, but you know, I think for all
of us, it's just it was a special experience, and
that's why we're talking about it.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yes, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
And everyone to experience what we did.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
So guys, please make sure you follow us on Instagram
and TikTok at Dirty Rush Podcast so you don't miss
new episodes, exclusive clips, and more. We again love this episode.
We love you, Trista Gea, I love you, and good
luck to you moms out there.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Better you than me.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
I like it. Bye, guys,
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Hi, guys, welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
I am your host Jennifer Wessler, joined by your other host,
Jia Judice. Today we have a very special guest. This
friend of ours made history as the very first bachelorette
and is basically Indiana University Royalty Trista Sutter. What about
(00:31):
things that I hear You can get dropped from a
house for doing or not doing so, I guess like
not registering on time, but like also you can't tell
people what your top sororities are. You have to follow
every sorority on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
GA, is that true?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I do not really recall this when I was rushing,
but they are saying now that you have to follow
all of the sororities prior to rushing, otherwise you will
be dropped. I understand that to an extent, just to
show that you have an open mind and that you
do have interest in all of the sororities and you're
(01:08):
not being selective.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I mean, listen, we didn't have computers back in the day,
so I didn't have to worry about any of this.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah, I really don't think I followed all of the
sororities before rushing. I don't even know if I followed
any of them. I think it was let me rush
and whatever sorority I get in, then I'll follow you after.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Gee, do you think a part of that for you
was because you were already famous? And like I was
gonna say that, Yeah, I mean, I just think they
were probably all just vying for you. They all probably
wanted to yep, Like like, I don't think they gave
a you followed them or not. I would That's how
I would think it went down. I don't know for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I mean I still went through the process like anybody else,
but I do I'm not going to say that I
don't think that had an advantage to it, because that
would just be naive of me.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yeah, I mean, well, you weren't just famous, You're also Gia,
so of course they wanted you. But I mean, you
know I think that like that's yeah, it has to have.
I remember when I don't know if I'm not to
talk with this or not, but when Antonia, because Rachel
and Antonio both went to Delaware and Antonia ended up rushing.
She ended up joining rachel sorority, so Alpha FI. But
(02:20):
I remember that when she was getting there, they were
all just in a it was just a whirlwind everybody
wanted Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
So I mean, listen, I don't think we're I'm not
going to be naive to it. I don't think that
it put us at a disadvantage.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah, listen, it's okay, you have it coming, you have
it good.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Good.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Guess what you've been through enough? Being on a reality
TV should show your whole life. There should be some advantages.
Yeah right, I'm comfortable.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I'm comfortable with that.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, I guess that was the one advantage.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
God, So you guys, what do you guys think? Does
legacy status even matter anymore? Because I'm I'm hearing mixed things.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
I should, I I feel like it should. I'm sorry,
But if your family has a connection to a sorority,
why because I'm hearing that it's used against you.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
Why is it used against you? I have heard people.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Say that they don't want to put it on their
on their resume because before they even get to rush,
some girls are are said they're not invited to the
sorority for the first day or whatever based on their legacy.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Is that very heard this, It's very tricky.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
So with legacy one hundred percent, it should be valued.
And even when I was in Zata at Ruckers, when
I was rushing the new p and ms, there were
many times I guess when you put the girls list
(04:00):
through Nationals or whatever that portal they use, because now
obviously it's technology based, so it's a little easier to
figure out which girls are legacies or not. There was
a girl who was a legacy of Zada and she
did not get Zada. She got dropped, like within the
first round. And this had to have been my sorority
(04:22):
making a mistake, not realizing that she was a legacy.
So when that does happen, it does get messy because
obviously the girl who gets dropped, who knows that she
was a legacy, gets upset and then it's this whole thing.
But after that, odds are this girl doesn't even want
(04:42):
to be in the sorority knowing that they dropped her.
So it's like, I'm good, But I would say a
lot of the times it is a mistake, but it
does happen often that sororities are not I would say,
careful enough to really seek out who is a legacy
(05:03):
that is rushing and who is not because a lot
of the times girls.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Do get dropped. Do you think that that's partially because, like.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
After because it used to be so important, right, and
it could it would get you in, right, So.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Well, yeah, it's basically a token to get you in. Like,
but say, my daughter rushes, she should have legacy to
Zeta no matter where she goes, and she should get
in no matter what. Right.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
But what I was going to ask was that, do
you think that after all these years, like people like, well,
guess what, the mother was great, but the daughter not
so much, and now we have to take her, and
like there's like a revolt against that.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Like like lesson I think I think people I'm sure,
you know, committees on sororities, and I'm sure they have
their fair share of saying that like, Okay, this girl's
a legacy, but I really don't think she fits in
with our sorority too bad. If she wants to be
(06:00):
in your sorority, you have.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
To accept her. Yeah, that's so right.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
So that's feel like I feel halfway through so I
kind of feel like in between. I feel like, so
when I was rushing, if you were a legacy, and
you made it on your own accord, like based on
your personality, based on your experiences, based on what you've accomplished,
based on the potential you had, right that, if you
(06:28):
made it on your own accord to pref Nite, so
the very final night of Rush, then if you still
were if you still had that sorority that you were
a legacy at on your list at pref Night, then
you were in no matter what. So I was a
legacy at Kyo and I made it to Kyo pref Night.
(06:51):
So if I had chosen Kyo then I could have
then I would have one hundred percent gotten in, right,
but I chose to go Alpha Kai. So so I
feel like they should at least not make it so
that it's harder for you to get into the sorority, because,
like I'm a great saying, I'm hearing that people are
(07:12):
are discounted for having that legacy. I don't think they
should be discounted, but I do still think that they
should like mesh with the sorority, that they should show
that they're they have a great personality that they're going
to fit in with whatever this sorority is and then
make it to prefnite, and if they make it to
pref Nite, then they then they're in, you know what I.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Mean, Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
I think that I wonder if part of this whole
legacy thing started because sororities are expensive. We know this, right, Yeah,
you spend a lot of money and you're I don't know,
maybe you feel like if you've spent thousands of dollars,
you know, not just sometimes not just you know, during
the four years, but you're giving to your sorority. Let's say,
you know for years, you're you're right, you're going or
(07:59):
you're running for who whatever it is, and there's an
expectation there, right like I'm I'm giving all this money.
I spent so much money. I want my daughter in.
So I think that's probably part of it.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
It totally makes sense.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I think kind of what you were saying Tristall, like
if the legacy who is rushing does not want to
end up at the in that sorority, and they choose
to not be at that in that sorority at the.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
End of the day, so be it.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
But the sorority should never kick them out before they
have the choice to choose.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah, I mean before they even show who they are
as a person, and and like you don't even have
the chance to get to know them. That's what I
have a really big problem with. I just don't understand
why sororities don't give legacies a chance to even get
to know you, and they cut you before they even
meet you.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I think that's kind of bullshit too.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
I yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
So this is apparently a thing as well. So you
have to do certain things if you're going to rush
an SEC school, right, and you have to like do
them now, right, So you have to submit letters of
recommendation by May. First, polish your social resume, heavily, prep
script your P and M video, clean up your socials.
I mean, is SEC such a different thing.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Than other schools.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
I mean, I feel like you don't most schools want
that at this point, or most aurorities.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yeah, because SEC, like, yeah, it lets you.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Like have your parties, everything's ran by them.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Yeah, But I think that it's it's just a lot
more competitive, the whole rush process. I feel like because
of social media, you know, like or and you know,
especially tiktoks and know there are sororities that have gotten
famous off of right all those rights they put on
you know.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Like I get sucked those I me too. It's so embarrassing,
even like when Daisy went to go visit. So like
you watch one and then you watch a million. But
I'm watching these nineteen twenty twenty one year old girls
dance from their sorority house.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
So like, Jennifer, get a life. Why am I watching
one after the other?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Of what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Exactly?
Speaker 5 (10:29):
It's nuts, it is, it's crazy.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
And they have to like perform, you know, to like
bring girls in, Like they want the best of the best,
so they need to actually show, you know that they
are the best of the best. It's just so competitive
in the Southern schools. And I think actually that's part
of why these Southern schools are so popular because they
have put out this you know, these huge platforms on
(10:54):
TikTok and Instagram. Right, people are drawn in, even people
like you and me who are not rushing anytime.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
Soon joke, right, I know, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
It's crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
At sorority rush coach talks about ways that what people
like you now just to can support your daughter going
through rush, not this fall for your girl, but next fall. Right,
you have to be her recruitment secretary and track down
the alumni, help plan outfits, practice conversations, be there twenty
four to seven. I should be there twenty four to
(11:26):
seven to my daughter. For God, you are out of luck.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah, definitely not. I'm sorry. They also need to like
spread their wings and do it on.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
The hell out of here, connected with resources like a
rush coach. This is not how again, this is not
how we roll here in the Fessler household. But but
I guess maybe it's good advice for people to go
going to SEC schools or Southern schools. Yeah, I'm gonna
be my daughter's secretary. She's my fucking secretary. Yeah, her secretary. Yeah,
I am a parent secretary.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Oh man, I mean, and I will say I probably
will do all the things. I'll be your secretary because
I am actually so sad that my kids are going
to be leaving and I'm going to be an empty nester.
So I am going to extend that as long as possible,
and I will be there, Blakeslee, I will be there
for you twenty four to seven.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
You just call me at two in the morning.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I am not surprised. I am not surprised to hear this.
I'm not even a little bit.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Okay, I feel like you're saying it though, because you're
about to be an empty nester, so you want to
cherish every last moment. I do, Like, I mean, I
totally get that.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah, I mean I get my mom.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah, no, like right now, Audriana, she's sixteen, so she's
about to get her license.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Which is like second eg.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
But my mom is like her does everything for her.
Audreanna says, Boo, my mom drops everything, and she's like yeah,
but I want to, like, this is my last time
driving her around.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
And it's got you know when you drive your kids
to school.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
And I understand what she's saying, that's like your time
to bond and talk and ketojia.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
But by the way, it's because you had such a special, wonderful,
devoted mother.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Just so you are such a special, devoted, wonderful mother.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Not so much, Okay, I got news for you.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Empty nesting is the greatest. I'm sorry. I don't mean to.
I know that's not what you may believe or think.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
You want to hear empty nesting is a gift. And
by the way, they come back all the time. Anyway,
I can't get rid of I got one upstairs right now.
She's twenty three.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Okay, No, I hope. I mean, I don't know I was.
I'm just not. You had a better mother, Gia, and
you are knowing you're.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
No stop that anyway, you're a great mom.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
But going back to that sec thing, I do think
the Southern schools by far put more pressure. So you know,
trusting your daughter is you know, she's thinking about going
to Obama right or she is going to bad Oh.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
No, that's my my friend. Yes, no, no, no, yeah no,
she's probably gonna end to me California.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Oh okay.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
And and I don't think that the rush the Greek,
the Greek system where she'll be is as nearly as intense.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yes, okay, okay, awesome.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, my friend who's going to Bama,
and she probably is already in a sorty even though
she's not, because she's made all these connections. She's you know,
had lunch, she is friends with these girls. Now, I
don't know, it's just it's just crazy that it happens
(14:39):
so early.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Just so early.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Why can't they get through high school and then worry
about this stuff when they get to college or at
least after they graduate, like the day after they graduate, fine,
but during their high school year it is just insane
to me that they have to agree about that. And
and honestly, now that we're talking, I'm like, gosh, if
if Blakesley is going to rush, maybe we should start
(15:05):
thinking about stuff now that.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I know.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Still it's making nervous. Well, I mean, but you also.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Have a friend who has a business, so she'll cut
you a deal.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
I'm sure, I hope. So you better help me out.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Ask her, have the conversation with her. If she really
feels like she needs that, and if you feel like
she needs that as a mom, then okay, but I'm
telling you I really don't think it is fully necessary.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
But the other piece, g you remember because you just
did it a few years ago. But like the pressure
of senior year, there's so much I remember senior year
just the prom dress alone, right, that is a twenty
four hour Oh, I guess we already.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
So she's got prom in like two weeks, and of
course all of the dresses that they want to order
now are all on TikTok, right, Okay, so these are
the only dresses that girls want to order.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Now, that's so crazy, right, you.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Don't go to a store.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
I'm like, we live in Denver, Colorado. We don't live
in Vail anymore. Like we can go to plenty of
stores and look at dresses. And she's like, no, Mom,
that's not how you do it. You have to like, look,
you have to find the dress or whatever. And then
as a mom, you have to make sure that these
websites are actually legit. You know that they're not like
scamming you out of your money. So we bought this
(16:42):
dress and I think it came from overseas, of course,
and then we get it and it doesn't fit, so
I have to return it and I think I returned
it to Kazakhstan or something that crazy. Yeah, it probably
costs you more than the dress to return it, right, right,
we did just find one, but oh my gosh, it
isn't How about like you have to do the bed, right,
(17:02):
you do the freaking in that. Nobody just a hell
out of here with this.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
No, I love one of my friends did that? Yeah
you did? Oh I'm not gonna.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, of course, I mean all of this stuff you do, right,
So I'm just hoping that that well, I really don't
care now because I'm out of it. But like for
someone like Chris that you have to like hire a
five thousand dollars coach, maybe it's the maybe that is
the way to go. I don't know, gosh, anyway, I
don't know.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
I just yeah, I mean, I'd rather that five thousand
dollars go towards something else, like a trip that we
make memories at, you know, or something like.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
That, or a bracelet for me. Oh yeah, it's bracelet
for me anyway. All right, So what about? There are
apparently P.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
And M video tips that will help you to stand out,
and if you go to at Sorority Rush Coach you
can find them. But it says be specific, tell your story,
check your lighting practice, show your unique non app academic traits.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I mean, I mean, okay, I understand that. I think
recording yourself is a lot more intimidating than just having
that like person to person connection and in person connection.
I think recording yourself can be intimidating and you're trying
to be engaging and peak somebody's interest through a video
(18:32):
I think that's definitely a little challenging. I do agree
with the good lighting. You know, get one of those
ring lights that you see all over TikTok and on Amazon.
And then yeah, you have to tell your story. I mean, obviously,
don't go through your whole academic portfolio and be boring,
because then that's a snooze fest. But I would talk about,
you know, if you were on the cheer team and
(18:52):
what you enjoyed most, and if you were in sports
or how involved you were, and you know, maybe tell
a funny story. I think that is my best advice.
But I do understand how it can be a little
awkward just trying to, you know, show somebody your personality
through a video. I think in person connection is a
(19:13):
lot better.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Yeah did you do a video?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Gia?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
No?
Speaker 4 (19:18):
I so I'm is this a thing like that everyone does?
Because I have not even I didn't even know what
this was until rite just this Rachel.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Oh did she Okay?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I didn't?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I believe she did.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I remember, well, she also was different things she rushed
during COVID.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But that's probably why I definitely.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
How to put something together. Yeah, that's definitely right, right,
so different, but.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
I wonder if that's what started it, you know, because
they had a videos or could have.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Maybe narrowed down like around or something or some I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
We went through it about a million times, that video,
so I have to admit, I.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Mean, honestly, that would be like the pressure situation is
coming up with a video where you're not going to
be cringey and you're going to be you know, come
across as somebody who they want to have in their
sorority and coming up with something super unique. It's kind
of like the videos that like, you guys didn't but
(20:16):
didn't have to do this, But when I applied to
be on The Bachelor, you know, like coming up with
a video that these people send in they submit to
be on reality shows, it's like coming up with something
like that that you show who you are, you showcase
your personality in a unique and fun way. But gosh,
the pressure for that too. But you're right, Lighting is
(20:38):
a girl's best friend. I always say that, So make
sure that you have really good lighting and a great story.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I agree, all right, ladies.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
So lastly, things that get you drop from sorority recruitment
bad talking of any of the houses, being mean, to
any of the girls during rush hallelujah.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I like that one talking about the bee.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
I'm thinking that means boys, gaze boys boys.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
If you are going out and drinking during rush, that
is a big no no. Basically during your entire rush process.
You it's called dry rush, like that's.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
What you're doing.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You are not going out, You're rushing in the sorority.
And if that's what you want to do, that's what
you want to do. I wouldn't fool around with any
boys that you don't know, because odds are they're probably
talking to one of your potential sorority sisters. So I
would just not do anything until after you're in the sorority.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Or you cannot do anything period, which is what I
told my daughter before.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
She was right, don't do don't drink, don't you try
to and no boys and that one over that one
over big yes, Oh, I'm for sure.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
I'm sure for sure sure her.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Oh yeah, she always does whatever I say, gospel for sure.
I mean I think those are probably good. Those are
I don't I have no album with.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
That, right.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Yeah's your life in general, just just whatever you would do,
Like if you're going to do something where I'm standing
right next to you, and you think that I'm going
to be judging you.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
That's what the girls are doing. So just assume.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
That is the best advice ever. Assume your mom is
standing right next to you. Yes, don't do anything of
that sort during Rush.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Rachel, you hear that, Yeah, I'd never listen to me.
It's working anyway, all right, ladies, so listen. That's it
for this episode of Dirty Rush. I loved this episode.
I loved the three of us together that. Yeah, this
is a very natural threesome I feel.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Like and wishing you the best of luck with Blakesley.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
Blakesley, Yeah, max Is.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Max is actually going to He's a senior, so he's
graduating in about a month, and so we're trying to
figure out what he's going to do. I don't think
he's going to be rushing, and fraternity Rush is a
whole different thing. That's a whole different podcast.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yes, yes, yes, I.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Will definitely be listening to the podcast if I don't
come back, and these come back all the tips for
wyn Blakesley wants to rush because honestly, the Rush experience
and the Greek life experience was the most special part
of my college experience, like still right, I still talk
to my ya right, you still get together, We still
(23:29):
text each other. We're on a big group text thread
and they are some of the most important people in
my life. So I would love for my daughter to
experience it too. It will depend on the college that
she goes to, but you know, I think for all
of us, it's just it was a special experience, and
that's why we're talking about it.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yes, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
And everyone to experience what we did.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
So guys, please make sure you follow us on Instagram
and TikTok at Dirty Rush Podcast so you don't miss
new episodes, exclusive clips, and more. We again love this episode.
We love you, Trista Gea, I love you, and good
luck to you moms out there.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Better you than me.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
I like it. Bye, guys,
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