April 9, 2026 • 49 mins
From mall casting scams to stepping into the role of the iconic Jenni Rivera, Annie Gonzalez sits down with Wilmer and Freddy to break down how a kid from East L.A. rewired her nervous system, healed old wounds, and built an unshakable sense of self in an industry that kept telling her she was “too much” or “not enough.”
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
This is Freddie Rodriguez.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
And I'm Wilman about the rama. Welcome to the Those
Amigos podcasts. We are excited for today's episode, indeed, because
we have.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Who do we have a third Amigama?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Who is it? Please, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I know he's gonna sound the horn because it's that
he loves to do it, you know.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
He did it early, but we're gonna just gotta go
with it. Uh, everybody, please help me. Welcome one of
my dearest sisters in life. I love her so much. Yes,
she's one of the most talented people I've ever met
in my agree. Her aura is giving super stardom, giving
Zion ready given now and next. I concur she's given
(00:48):
now and next and next. Annie Gonzalez, he loves that horn.
That's like his favorite thing. And I will tell you
that we were very excited to have you in this
podcasts for many reasons. Some of the conversations we've been
having rhyme with the spirit of who you are.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
A lot of it this.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Is about kind of inspiration and dig into like who
we really are. But it's really also kind of tapping into.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know, uh.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
That that who you were versus what you are and
where you want to be and you know, so all
these conversations are really relevant. But also it's kind of
a moment to give you flowers too, you know. And
I think this podcast is about making sure you realize
that some of us in this community, uh look at
you as the future of our culture, and we're very
excited to uplift.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
You on that level.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
And I'm going to just say a few projects for
all of our amazing listeners and everyone who gets to
watch us as well. From the early work, let me see,
would you say hand to Fight? It was one of
those pittible moments for you.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Definitely, Yeah, that was like.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
A moment I was, uh, this is where I met her.
I got a chance to do a little cameo on
that show. It was on Netflix. It was authentic, it
was raw, it was unapologetic, and and that's when the
world first got to see Anni Gonzalez. Hand to Fight
is available on Netflix now, so you guys, definitely catch
up on that. The next big thing that I want
(02:20):
everyone to find because she's also on Disney Plus right now.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
It's flaming hot.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
The stories of the of the creator of hot Cheetos,
and she played the incomparable backbone of the family. The
reason why this all was possible was she was the
matriarch of that family and uh, you know, Salas played
a beautiful character there, Latina. Yes, and then you know,
we have driveaway dolls. This is twenty twenty four. That
(02:46):
was really really uh incredible cast. Yeah, to say a
few Uh, let me see Pedro, Pascal, Matt Damon, all
those guys.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
You know, some of those guys, I think they still
work right. Stuff is still the stuff.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
And then she played Jenny and the Jenny rivera I biopic,
which you know, we're also really proud of immortalizing that story.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
As well, carrying it on your shoulders.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
And you know, and we're gonna talk about what you
got an eggs and when you got out and you
got all that and yeah, but say a few words,
you know, tell us how are you feeling today?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
So many words, so many feelings today.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
No, I'm feeling so great and energized, honestly. I mean,
you know, I'm like, first and foremost I'm big fans
of the both of you, and then getting to know
you throughout the last couple of years. You were actually
one of the first people when I started getting my
career up and going. You were like, I want to
have a zoom with you. Let's talk. Who are you?
(03:40):
And I was like, and I remember feeling there was
like a sense of safety and like kinship in family
to be like, oh, wow, like you care, and you
care because you want you know that this crazy industry
can throw you any which way. And you wanted me
to feel like I had like an anchor when I
was out or if I didn't that I could call you,
(04:02):
which that was really like humbling and uplifting all at
the same time.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
And then when I got to meet you, I was like,
oh my.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
God, a big fan. I love you.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
So it's just just I'm really and I've been seeing
everybody else on the podcast and I was like, those
are my friends.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I wonder if delivery, But no, where are you from?
Where were you born?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Born and raised in East Lee, East LA.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
In East l A.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
I grew up off of like Whittier and Atlantic, so
like so like you have East Los Angeles, like Greater
East Los Angeles and you have the actual city East
Los Angeles, and that's where I grew up because people
will be like, oh you mean Boyle Heights.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Oh you mean city terraces. I'm like, no, I mean
straight up East La.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
And are your folks and your grand your grandparents are
they also La? Yeah? So where do you ethnically? Where
are they from?
Speaker 5 (04:48):
So I'm Mexican? Well, okay, so I'm Mexican. People always
like save something for everyone else, but I really am
all this stuff.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
I'm Mexican, Guatemalan, French, Italian and German. And let me
tell you what it is.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (05:02):
So my mom, her dad is from what Mala and
he's half Guatemala and half German. The more missionaries were
out there and you know, they impregnated my they did,
and then they had him and half German, half bottom
all the baby.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
And then he met.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
What do you mean by impregnant?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
So let me explain it.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Let me.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
So then he met my grandma, my grandma Francis, who
is my obviously my mom's mom, and they had they
have my mommy and so she's my grandma's Mexican and Basque.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
And then on my dad's side, both of his parents
are from Mexico and my grandpa's from Halischool and then
my grandma is from Tijuana.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Wow. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, that's so crazy.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I thought you were for a second you would be
like did my twenty three and me and I find out.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
I also did that.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
We were having an interesting conversation earlier, and you were saying,
I've been doing this since I was a kid, since
i was like nine years old, right, like, like, how
does someone from East La? Right, and this is and
this is coming from somebody who grew up in the
inner city of Chicago, right where we're opportunities for people
who grow up like us, they're not vast, right, how
does an opportunity come up for someone like you who
(06:27):
La East La at nine years old?
Speaker 1 (06:31):
For that matter?
Speaker 5 (06:32):
Yeah, I came out of the I'm very fortunate to
say that I came out of the womb knowing that
this is all I've ever wanted to do. My dad
was an actor, started acting at like five, singing and
acting at five. Wow.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
An incredible musician by the way, Oh really, And they
sing together and they played together.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Which is like, wow, you know, really beautiful in La
in La.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, And what's your father's name?
Speaker 5 (06:57):
His name is Gabriel Gonzalez band called, and it's so
I'm actually going to be singing with them more now.
It's it's been a really beautiful journey with me and him,
but five years old doing movies in Mexico and him.
My dad and my mom met at Hollywood High She
always wanted to be an actress and do all of this,
but I don't think she had she'd even say it
(07:18):
self proclaimed she didn't have the confidence to go out
there and do it. But you meet her and she's
just so cute and bubbly and adorable, and she totally
could have.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
But they had me.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
I was their little love child at twenty three, and
when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad was
doing do you guys know the movie Vida Loca? Yeah,
of course, So my dad is in that movie.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
He's in that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, who does he
playing that movie?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
He plays a little sleepy, a little sleepy sleepy and
dad though he's like a music the Oh my god,
thank he's so much.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I mean that was kind of the same story for
everybody in that movie. Though they were like real actors.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
They were and yeah, I've been a couple, like straight up,
straight up yeah, straight up from But you can't.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Fake their eyeliner with the sauce, can't. You got to
get the authentic guyliners.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
And those were the girls.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Those girls were my favorite in the film because I'm like, yo,
they ain't acting.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
You can feel that.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You can feel that.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
So your papa was an actor.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Papa was an actor, and I think it was just
in my bones and my blood.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
My mom and my dad.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
Split up shortly after they had me. And so this
is the poetic justice that I'm about to speak about.
How he's saying me and my dad are really close.
Now we didn't, We weren't really in each other's lives
for the better part of like twenty seven issuares Wow.
But we both have done our work on ourselves, and
now it's an interesting thing that music is bringing us
(08:45):
back together.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Picking up where you kind of left off, but then
also like building a new report.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
And create really understanding that like all the things that
didn't make sense with my mom. Even my siblings tell me,
they're like, you are so much like dad, and it's
crazy nature versus nurture.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
And that's one of my best friends. Like, I love that, man.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I got a chance to see you guys perform together,
and it's just like I want that with my daughter.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I want to be able to do that my daughter.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
But you know, I don't know how long she's going
to be singing in Kanto songs, so I can really
be doing that.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It's in her future, man, I see it.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
But how how so how how did you turn your
Easter a story into into one of contributor in Hollywood?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
How does that? How does that work?
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Because you think about all of our perspective journeys, we
had very unlikely situations that could actually lead to what
it is, you know, and some of us decided we're
gonna get trained and we're gonna get the tools, you know,
and then we're gonna go get noticed. But how did
you how did you aim to get noticed?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
It's so weird.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
I so as a little kid, you know, you go,
they have like these mole searches and stuff, and everybody
always tell my mom like showcases. Yeah, the show right,
it's all a scam, y'all. Don't fall for it, Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
For commercials, say yeah, the first thing.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
To pay five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I know that story.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
By the way, I did it at an lax Skilton
oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I did one of those showcases when I was seventeen, sixteen, seventeen, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Yeah, so good anyway, Hey, but listen, there's a lesson
and you learn and then you're like, Okay, at least
I know I can do this, right. So they would
come up to my mom all the time, but my
mom already knew agent, my dad's agent. So we went
to them, I think when I was like seven or eight,
and at the time they were like, she has a
weak eye, she's a little chunky, she doesn't sing loud enough,
(10:37):
like I don't know. My mom was like, look that, like,
we're not bringing her here. So a couple of years
went by and then we went back and I had
all the confidence and spunk and so they signed me
and I had my.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
First audition ever for Without a Trace. I booked it.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
How are you nine?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
You were nine?
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Without Without a Trace?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
So the way that I was raised, I was raised
mostly with my mom's side of the family, and they're
all six generation, right, Mexican American Chicanas and because we
were so and I think a part of it it's like,
you know, my grandma used to get her butt kicked
in high school for speaking Spanish, so we never learned
how to speak Spanish.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
We also, you know, in order to assimilate.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
It's like, you don't really feed these ideas that you
can't because you're a woman, you can't because you're brown.
I never heard that growing up, and so I think
I always walked in with that sort of confidence, like
I'm just talented, like I grew up watching Bett Midler
and Barbara Streissan.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
I'm like, I'm a Jewish woman on the inside. What
are you talking about? Ideas?
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Like so, and then you know, you book your first audition, like,
who's gonna tell you shit?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Right?
Speaker 4 (11:43):
At that point? Can I curse? I'm cursing?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, yes you do? Yeah here, Oh you.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Said it too, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Damn.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
So I think it kind of just was the ripple
effect from the cauld You just say damn as your
bad word.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
What the heck?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I'm flabbergast.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Oh hell oh god, I expected that from Danny's year.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Uh yeah, story for you.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I was thinking about another fake.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
This is just a woman in our perpetual state of
high school.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yes, yes, we just don't let go. You should.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
That's why you guys look so young.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
What was that experience like night.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Who was on Without a Trace?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
What's her name?
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Ye, it's your network.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
You should go please never before my time?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
My first time was four Stars. Do you remember who
was in four Stars? No?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Poppy Montgomery?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Okay, was in there when you did it?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Right? I did not.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
I wasn't on it with I was.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
All right, Eric, Oh my god, I remember that one.
I remember. Yeah. My first thing for TV was four Stars. No, No, no, No,
four corners?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Four corners?
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Was it a show?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
It was a drama.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
It did really well on CBS, and I played an
autistic boy that died drowned.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That's a different episode after.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Without a Trace? Did were your agents?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Like?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Oh, well, hold on a second, Like she booked her
first audition, like she's you know, we can send her
out there and found the pavement and she's going to
start booking for us.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And wait, did you have an agent? I did? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah, I was with this uh boutique agency called Stage
nine at the time and it still around. I don't
think so.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
I know both of them still, Carol and Fay. They
were my girl girls, like musical theater heads. They were
think of like have you seen We've all seen friends
Joey Tribanni's agent.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Talking like this, always smoking in the house. This is
who they want. Honey, you're a little fat right now,
but that's okay. That could work for you in your advantage.
Like this is how they would talk to me at
like nine.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Ten, and I'd be like, Okay, thank god, I'm developing
as a young woman.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
It's okay. But they did and I also too.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
I mean, the same confidence that I had as a
kid I have now, Like you know I was, I
was walking in like I could do it, I could
do everything, and like I still do that, I feel like,
so I think that's what they saw more than anything,
Like the tenacity I had, and like the fearlessness, like
I've always been a type of person that's like I
might fail, but I'm a fucking figure it out. So
(14:47):
after we did that, I was on this kid's special
called jam x Kids and we had a special on
wb Rihanna opened up for us Natasha Bedingfield. It was
basically like Think of Kids Incorporated meets the Mickey Mouse Club,
and we were trying to get young kids off the
(15:08):
couch dancing and like moving their body, and so we
had Alison Stoner, we had who's still a very good
friend of mine.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I'm still friends with everyone.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
We had like a bunch of different young kids from
all type of ethnic backgrounds, and I was They auditioned
at least five hundred kids. I was probably the least
qualified of anyone, because like I had never taken an
acting class, I had never taken a dance class, I
had never really taken a singing class. And I booked
it off of sheer confidence alone and struggled throughout the
(15:38):
whole fucking like rehearsal process. And we would do live shows,
and I was the chunkiest one out of the group.
Like I remember certain moms at schools coming out to
be like, how does it feel to be the fat
one in the crew?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Is this crazy?
Speaker 4 (15:50):
At twelve years old?
Speaker 3 (16:00):
It feels like, especially at the beginning of all of
our careers, we've all had certain specific adversities that other
people have put on us, even though we've never seen
ourselves in the way that somehow they've described it I.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Allowed to be. How do you overcome that?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
How do you say your opinion is not my opinion
of myself right? How do you lean into the strength
on what you're here to do over the people perception
of the box that put you in.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Right, And I to explain a little further.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
You know, when I first started myself, obviously I had
an accent, right, They're like, well you got an accent.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
No one on TV has accents.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
You're never gonna work right, and like, oh man, okay,
And like I was never according to them, like I
was not ugly enough and not cute enough. It was
like this weird thing when I was a teenager that's
like not old enough and not young enough either. You know,
it's like there was always something that was put on
you by others that you didn't see about yourself. Because
(17:08):
it takes a level of confidence to break through whatever
walls and lego houses the build in front of you
to actually get to where you're sitting right now. So
how do you how do you feel that you because
I'm hearing it in your stories and it continues to
come up, and it's it's so sobering to know that
for a young woman, that's got to be incredibly difficult
(17:32):
to navigate and to break as like not just the stigma,
but like identity, like that's not what I am.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Right at that age too, Right, Like twelve, you said.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
Dude, Yeah, when you're like developing as a person, like
your like frontal lobe is not even like your neuro
responders are barely figuring out, like.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You might not even have seen it. And the until
they kept you know.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
It was it was I want to say, a combination
of a bunch of different things. Like So my mom
was a young mom, but I know for a fact
she was always after some form of consciousness and guidance
her mom. And the reason I go back to this
because I really think that our industry, yes, it's talent,
(18:15):
but how many talented people do you know, just don't
continue because their nervous system doesn't allow them to. Like
I know plenty of people who are way more gifted
than I am, but will never do what I'm doing
because they cannot get over the idea of being perceived.
So my mom, at a young age, she introduced me
(18:35):
to you guys know the Secret. Yeah, so, okay, the
book and they they have a movie about it if
you want. The movie is so cheesy, but it's so good,
especially if it's like, let me explain this to an
eight year old. So my mom made me watch it
at eight years old, and I myself, I think, was
always looking to like finding a parent because my mom
(18:56):
had me so young. I was here, there, and everywhere.
I was like talk about being raised by a villa.
I was raised by a village, which I think is
a really powerful thing because I got to have so
many different perspectives than just one head of household perspective.
I feel like this is going to be a long
winded answer to get.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Hey, welcome to a podcast.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
Like even myself, I was raised Mormon with my mom
till I was about aid. Yeah, Mexican Mormons. What's up,
Jack Mormon? Now drinking coffee? That's all right, Yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
I was raised Mormon, and then we left the Mormon Church,
and then I myself was still looking for some sort
of guidance and parental figures. And so then I myself
converted to Catholicism, did all my sacraments, the whole rigamarole.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
So I think the long and.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
Short of it was introduced to the secret got me
thinking about how does my brain work and what is
the reality that I'm creating. And one of the things
that stuck out to me even as a kid was
if you want something from someone stop pointing out the
that they're not doing, and start highlighting the thing that
they are doing right so they can do more of
that correct. Very simple, but I really took that to heart,
(20:08):
and as a young kid, my mom also instilled in me.
I didn't know the difference yet, but as a kid
when I would get you know, I was bullied a
lot in school. I had to wear eyepatch in second grade.
Like it just was an experience. So like struggle has
been a part of it for the from the beginning
for me, you know, not having my dad around. I
remember I'd go to friends houses and their dad would
be there and I'd be like, wait.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
Your dad lives here. That's so weird.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
Like there was just certain things that might that it
was just my norm and my baseline. So to me,
I'm like, it's not hard if that's my baseline. But
if I look at it like it's hard, then it's
gonna be hard. But if I look at it like
it's a part of the dance, then I just wear
that shit and I learn how to flow smoothly while
carrying tons of bricks so that when it finally comes off,
(20:50):
I'm ready to run the races.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
So I think be given that sort.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
Of ideas as as a foundation as a kid. I've
taken that with me into adulthood that even when it
feels like the world doesn't want me, I remember I
am the world and I tell the world.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
What it wants.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
So this idea right like fighting through these things. One
of my first managers at so I took a break
from acting from sixteen to about twenty three. There was
a lot of family things going on, and when I
decided to get back in again, it was the same thing.
Started booking like this. But before that I was with
this manager and she was like saying, like, you you're
not thin enough to play the leading female Anginu, You're
(21:35):
not fat enough to play the best friend, You're not
this enough. And I write all these things and instead
of looking at this like this is a bad thing.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
My whole life, people had talked about my weight. I
was always a chunky kid.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
There was a lot of things that happened to me
as a kid that made me want to gain weight
to hide.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
That.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
When she was telling me this, I was finally in.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
This space of you know when you go to that
height of consciousness and you're like, none of this is
like I can shape shift right, Like I am not
these things.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I'm going to walk if I stand still.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
And I used to do shit like every today, everyone
is going to give me something free. I'm going to
get something free wherever I go and it would happen.
And so you get little things like that, and it's
like what you believe is true. I'm like, I'm going
to be a movie star. My first audition I booked,
So I'm like, oh shit, I create this ship. I
create this shit. So when a homegirl tells me you
need to lose weight, you need to do all these things.
I did it because I started to look at all
(22:32):
of this as just a meat suit, like I am
influenced by my culture and I am I'm not negated,
like I'm Latina, I'm proud, I'm all these things. But
I'm also an artist and a dreamer and a healer.
And so I started to look at it like, how
how do I get out of the confines of this
bullshit structure that does not.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Work for anyone like us?
Speaker 5 (22:55):
If we believe and we're living in the structure, how
do I get out of the matrix. I'm not gonna
fight the industry by saying industry, you suck, you don't
want me, Like, then they're just gonna be like, yeah,
I don't like it earned my mind, right, I'm going
to go into these spaces thinking that I need to
prove something versus going in there and being like I'm
the proof, right, And I think it's just been a
(23:16):
it's been a daily practice, hourly, minute by minute practice
of that, like I don't think I'm ever gonna arrive,
but I've also learned that that's a part of what
does that mean?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I don't think I'm ever gonna go into arrive.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Meaning like you know how you're like how how did
you come to this realization of like this confidence while
everybody's telling me this, that and the other that it's
not going to work or you should change this, Like
we all get these these narratives that are and I
think for me, meaning I'm never gonna arrive fully is
(23:51):
is I don't know if I'll ever realize that I
then did it, that I did it, But I think
that that's the most fun part about it.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
But it's also ambition, right, It's also like, you know,
the the artist that's always in a search of something higher,
you know, just as like you climb a mountain, you realize,
oh wait a minute, there's an actually taller one, you know,
And so it's it's a really interesting thing to think about.
I mean, we all have that gene otherwise we will
stop fighting in this industry for a long time, right like,
(24:21):
and and it's a very important thing. It's important listen.
You know, there's always gonna be something, you know, worth climbing.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
That's why when you know, we were in your office
the other day and I'm looking at this, I'm like,
and I was telling I was telling you earlier. I'm like,
I've only dreamt this far, Like I've just wanted to
do movies and be able to live by myself in
a little two bedroom home that looks over you know,
the city.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
And now I'm there and I'm.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
Like, ah shit, there's more like what And then I
come here and I'm like, do you remember?
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I Like we were going through like your drawer of
all this cool things.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
I'm like, the first thing I asked him was how
do you prepare your nervous system for this? And you
were like I didn't. I just kept going. And so
that was a new gift for me of like, oh, yeah,
like you can't. Maybe like you can try, Like I
can think I can have all the answers and read
all the books and do all the spiritual shit. But
(25:17):
I gotta do it, yeah, Like I gotta stop freaking
talking about it and just do it.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
One of the things that kind of comes back to
me in those moments is is everyone there's a philosophy
that says, hey, pause, look around, take it de breath, right.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Take inventory. I don't have that gene. I don't.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I don't see what you see around me because my
eyes are like five. Is that we produce that you're
started in, right, Like my head is already there. And
what's interesting is that longer you do this, the more
you realize.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
That you're creative hunger.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
And that could be the same for business, for education,
for entrepreneurship, for just you know, emotional achievement. The more
that you stop, you almost stop your practice.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Right wait, Like the more that like you stop in
the introm to like take stock fully and I think.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
It's important to take a deep breath.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
But you know, as artists, we are continuing to mold
and if if you stop for a second, you might
forget what shape was next, right.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
So like, slow down, don't stop.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
You can slow down to appreciate, give yourself grace and
enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Right.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
But if you woke up this morning, you're already winning,
which means how much more winning you.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Gotta do today, you know?
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Right, So like if you've still got hours in the day,
how much more winning you want to do?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Right?
Speaker 3 (27:05):
It's has been the philosophy for our show here for
you know, when we always talked about that. But to
your point, like, you know, if a shark stops swimming,
it dies, right, So I think the biggest and most
important factor of that, you know, that primal instinct is
that if you're a hunter for creativity, you gotta keep hunting.
(27:28):
You know, you gotta keep get them up in the morning.
You got to keep you know, loading up your bag.
You got to keep you know, lining up your ammunition.
You gotta go out there and look for you know,
look what you're going to bring home at the.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
End of the day.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Right, And that's the moment of pride. That's when you
can stop, take a deep breath and enjoy it, and
then you get up in the morning you keep molding again.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Right.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
But I think that you're what you're what you're describing
is is such something I think all of us can take,
you know, past for a second and take in the
fact that, like, you know, sometimes we don't give ourselves
grace that we're doing what we said we're going to
be doing, you know, but it is part of the
entrepreneurial heart that says, like there's always something bigger out there, Right, Freddie,
(28:11):
how do you how do you take pass? I like,
how do you because you've always your right, your.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Direct you you you do it all?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Like how how does how does that journey been like
for you?
Speaker 2 (28:23):
You know, it's it's very similar to like what you're
you were just talking. That's why I'm really absorbing everything
and even like you talk about your nervous system and
just like a lot of like what you're saying, you know,
especially where And this is why I even asked you
this initially, Right, I don't know if it had something
to do with like our environment and how we grew
up and like if that informed are sort of this
(28:43):
this like unstoppable belief in ourselves, right because we because
we came from the backgrounds that we came from. But
I'm but but but I always looked at it the
same way. In my early journey, I was it was
very similar to yours, you know. It was it was
very much like, this is what I'm going to do,
and that's it. And every fiber of my being is
saying that this is what I'm gonna do, right, And
(29:06):
so every movement, every thought, every step I took it
was it was with the belief that this is what
I was going to do, and and it manifested itself.
But you you talked a lot about this is the
second time I heard you bring up You're talking about
nervous system, Like why do you keep bringing that up?
Like what is it about the nervous system in particular?
(29:26):
And I'm very curious because that's something that I've really
been concentrating on in the last five years. I never
even knew anything really that that the nervous system even
existed in that capacity or or I've been doing a
real deep dive, like like why is it that you
keep talking about it and bringing it up.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
I grew up in a very volatile household. My mom
grew up in a very volatile household. Like it's it's
you know, epigenetics is a real thing, right, So like
you can have something that your ancestors went through that
you don't even know why you're afraid of this thing,
but you a and you've never experienced it, but you
come across it and you freeze. So for me, the
(30:05):
way my nervous system was set up, I you know
how they have like fight flight, freeze or fawn response.
I'm a freezer and I'm a fauner. Now I would
see the way that some of the people raised me,
how they would raise me and tell me what was right,
what was wrong, what was hard, what was easy, and
they look so fucking unhappy that even as a little kid,
(30:29):
I'm like, that don't seem right. And I couldn't pinpoint
it yet until I went to therapy at like twenty
I think I was like twenty six. I was doing henhified.
I had a boyfriend, we were living together. I was
so depressed. My nervous system wasn't set up for safety.
(30:50):
When it felt easy, I like he would sometimes come
to ha hug me and I please don't, please don't
touch me, and I'd start shaking and I'd start crying.
When I'd get into conflict, I didn't I never felt
safe in my house.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
I wasn't.
Speaker 5 (31:05):
I was, and it you know, no shade on anyone.
It was just the life, right, It was just the experience.
And now we're learning a new one. But at the time,
my big feelings weren't welcomed, so I didn't even know
how to fucking have them. Like an opinion, right, like
a preference was like, oh, why do you like to
do that thing?
Speaker 4 (31:22):
And then I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's stupid.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
I don't want to do that because I was how
I grew up was because I was babysit a lot
by different people.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
It was like anti behave, and so I knew.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
I learned early on, if I can make you love
me and if I can be the most charming person
in the room, you'll take care of me, right, right.
And I had to get out of that because nobody
makes good work by being a fucking people pleaser, right.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
So for me the.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
Last five years now in this space, having to really
as we know when we're when we're doing our job,
we have to be fully present. I didn't know how
to do that. So I'm twenty six doing tenthified going
back home every day after shooting sobbing.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
I'm good.
Speaker 5 (32:05):
They're good, I'm gonna get fired. Why I didn't think
I was good enough because my whole life people told
me like it was like the running joke was Annie
wants to be an actress.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Okay, Like my cousins would.
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Be like, you think you could do a watch, I
could do it, skippy peanut butter, and they would make
fun of me. Like my whole family. I was called
fatty Annie, right, like it's the thing. But when you're
a young girl and you and I had no siblings
in the household and everybody was mean to me, or
this was my perception at the time, it was very victimhood.
It's I'm, you know, fucking nine, ten, twelve, like whatever.
(32:39):
So it was very much like that space. And I
was depressed, having very deep suicidal thoughts doing this show
where everybody's like, you're killing Annie, You're finally doing it.
I'm telling my mom I'm stressed, and she's like stressed
about what because she didn't get it right?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
And so do you think that their compliments was was
sort of like crashing against your nerves because your nervous
system was telling you something else, and so them telling
you you were doing great was the opposite of what
you were used to feeling, or like I'm trying to
get to the bottom of why you felt it.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Was like it was like when there's so many layers
to this.
Speaker 5 (33:21):
But I think I so the reason why I stopped
acting at sixteen was my mom's oldest sister.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
My the idity was my mom.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
My mom was really young, so a lot of the
time during the week of school, I was with her
right and she would babysit me and blah blah blah,
And you know, I lived with them like probably let's say,
fifty percent of the time. And she passed away when
I was sixteen, So like the foundation of safety that
I knew was ripped under me, and so I never
(33:50):
after that.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
It took me a while.
Speaker 5 (33:51):
Now I have, I've learned how to reach out to
my mom and other mythas and other people in my
family and be like I'm taking care of But it
took me a long time to find my footing. And
I think that I didn't know where my foundation was anymore.
Like I was like, nobody's gonna have my back, nobody's
gonna take care of me, nobody's gonna this, Like nobody
understands me, nobody's curious to understand me. And then you
do this thing and you're a product, but you don't
(34:14):
know you're a product yet, And so.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
I was.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
Yo, okay, so hind if I just came out the
first season, I'm starting to get recognized.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
I'm out in the world and I'm from the hood.
Like I'm like, I'm an inner.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
City girl, right, so people be looking at me and
I'd be like what like and they'd be like sorry,
like you you're on that show, right, and I'd be like,
oh yeah. So then me and my best friend we
ended up going on a vacation and I'm like, when
I'm here, don't call me.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
By my name.
Speaker 4 (34:45):
My name is love. Like I don't know what I am,
Like nobody knew how I was in.
Speaker 5 (34:50):
But I was going through this like existential, like my
dreams are coming true. Someone's gonna die, I'm gonna die,
Like it felt that heavy, and I did. I had
to died of myself. I had to have a freaking
ego death. And I feel like we're all like you.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (35:06):
And then and then it was like right after that,
then it was heentified and then there was all these
I mean not hentified. Then it was flaming hot, and
then it just felt like it was all back to
back and I had I hadn't.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
I didn't know who to talk to.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
You also wear and equipped for that type of frequency, right,
because you kind of work so long to get that
one hit and then you're like have that experience it
ends and then quickly right after you get to the
next one, and like you know, the mirage is like,
oh man, this is like this is like a lot
or it's just like, okay, the engine's going right, like
it's perspective.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
You don't know where to go, And I didn't have
anybody around me, like even though you had reached out,
I didn't know what questions to ask you, Like I
didn't know how to approach, like, hey, can you help me,
I'm nervous right or I'm working with Eva. And she
was also also has been a great mentor woman. Oh
my gosh. When we did our whole press run, she
would sit next to me and she would just talk
shop with me. And I didn't like, like, you know,
(35:58):
have fun with this and learn this and make sure
you try this out. But I still didn't know the
questions to ask her because there still felt like this
disconnect of like she seems so happy and she has
it together. I don't want to bring her down with
my like I'm scared. I'm really depressed. I don't think
I can do it. I don't think I'm pretty enough.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
I don't.
Speaker 5 (36:14):
It was all of these things all at once. All
of the bad things that anybody had ever told me
about myself were the loudest voices.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
And do you feel like that was coming to the
surface because you were becoming more famous and people were
your work was getting recognized.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
Like what I was like, They're going to realize I'm
a fraud. Sure makes sense, right, I was like, they're
going to make sense.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
I mean, we all go through that, by the way,
and like it's and it's like, you know, I just
want to first and foremost, I want to compliment the fact.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
That, like you have come to this realizations. You know that.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
There's certain elements that undnihilely come with the role of
being an artist. You know, when you're amplifying people's lives
and characters, you connect on such a soulful level. They
know you and you've never met them, right, And I
think you've done a beautiful job. You created such a
(37:14):
beautiful community for you, and the game is rooting for
you, you know. And I think the actors and you know,
and producers and directors are aware of the sun that
you are, you know. And I think you're beginning to
really trust in that process. You're beginning to trust that
the hours of self work and the hours.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Of reflection.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Plus the hours you put in on the hustle are
finally paying off and they're opening the portal to what's next.
And I think, you know, I know you're a very
spiritual person. I think spirituality works. But I don't want
to say anything for the sake of being inappropriate. But
(38:00):
there's a lot of stuff that I could say.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Right now Amen, Amen, Amen is very mean now, Amen, amen,
because you're the amen.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Right.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
But I think the point.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
I'm making is that you know, you're answering to a
higher energy now and you're performing at a higher you know,
consciousness and and and it's beautiful to see that because
I remember when I first met you and you you
had that, you had.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
All of that.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
You weren't green in your heart, right, you were green
in the environment because it was just the first time
you were you know, like, where is everything at but
your soul had been seasoned by you know, your once
and your needs and your inspirations. When you look at
what you're going to go next, what do you what
does that look like?
Speaker 5 (38:49):
Oh? Wow, this is the thing I'm saying, the dream.
I have to dream again, to dream.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
To die.
Speaker 5 (38:58):
God, There's so many things that I want and that
I'm going to get because I mean, you guys know
you've been doing this forever and the way our careers
can span out, can we can have eighteen different lives
in this one? And I really want to do rom coms.
(39:23):
I would kill in that space. There's not enough people
that want to and can deliver with the complex layers
that I believe rom coms had in the nineties. I
think people sometimes go in and they phone it in
because they classified as a rom com. But when Harry
met Sally was a rom com and you watch that
(39:44):
and you're like, now that's a slice of life, delicious
fit what you got? All of these films right that
I grew up, That's those are the movies I grew
up watching. Like my favorite is When Harry Met Sally.
I've told you before. For the Boys that Middler you
have the mirror has two faces.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Don Yeah.
Speaker 5 (40:07):
God, I think what what we need just as humans
is to show our humanity. And I would love to
be the lead of those to showcase that people like
me deserve to just fall in love on screen.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Yeah, I think.
Speaker 5 (40:28):
I think those are the stories that I'm here to
tell about the complex layers of what it is and
looks like to be a deeply flawed woman who is
on that journey, you know those That's.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
That's an interesting that's an interesting perception because like, and
correct me if I'm wrong, But a lot of the
stuff that you've done, the hint defies the flaming Hots
have been more dramas, right, They've been kind of deeper stuff.
But I've known you for a year or two now,
and I've had a couple of encounters, and so by
you saying I'd love to do romantic comedies, I can
(41:04):
totally see it. But I'm saying that from someone who
has spoken to you outside of this right here, I'm like, oh, yeah,
I totally see it. You know, do you feel like
your instrument inside of you is telling us, is screaming
that out as well? Like, like, what made you come
to this realization? That that like, oh, I belong in
the sort of the rom com space, like this is
(41:25):
this is the avenue that I want to take.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Because she's hilarious.
Speaker 6 (41:34):
Like I've had we met before a couple of I
remember meeting you at this other thing, and I was
always like, she's quick, man, She's super quick and witty
and like so like you, you naturally possess all of
the attributes that I would see in an actress leading
a romantic comedy.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
But I'm saying you any any like you?
Speaker 2 (41:56):
You're yourself, you know so. But it's interesting that they're
rejectory of your career is taking you down down drama,
so like like what what what did you come to
some realization that you were just like, hey, this is
part of like my toolbox here that really hasn't been
used as an actress. And I want to go down
this direction.
Speaker 5 (42:14):
I think, and I say this without like ego to myself,
but I think if I'm looking at myself as like
a product and as like like like like a business, right,
I've lived so much life and I have so much depth.
I always have that, and I think it's and you know,
sometimes it's like detrimental even to myself, but that I
(42:37):
want to leave this world like exhausted, Like I've done
everything that I've could right, like I sing, I dance.
I'm writing a short film like and and not because
I want to like capitalize off of everything. It's not
I'm not trying to turn everything into like a monetary thing.
But I'm like, I feel like God gave me these gifts,
so why not use them to the fullest. And to me,
(42:58):
comedy is so hard, like to do it well, like
and you guys are you guys have done everything as
well and are like deliciously comedic in a way that's like, damn,
we didn't know that you could do that with that thing.
I mean, I've heard the story about that seventies show
and them not knowing what this character was gonna be like,
and you show up and every freaking time it's like.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
No, no one knows what's coming out of you.
Speaker 5 (43:23):
No one knows how like, and every time you've been
on screen, I'm like, it's such interesting choices. I find
that to be way more difficult than sitting and crying
and milking a moment. And even in those moments, I
do try and find the layers of complexities because humans
are so interesting. But I do why, I think I
(43:43):
want why I want to do rom com In particular,
being a brown woman, I find it exhausting that the
stories that were allowed to tell come from struggle, strife
or high achievement, right, like, like, I'm just a fucking person. Yeah,
(44:07):
I have been the devil in someone's life and I've
been someone's angel. And I think, as I think, you know,
it feels like a lot of the stories that get
greenlit sometimes films, I mean, even even the ones that
I've been a part of, right, it's big ip and
it's you know, rags to riches or like this, Like
I'm I I just want to live.
Speaker 4 (44:27):
I think that's how.
Speaker 5 (44:28):
Then that's how then politics and policies change and are
made for us by us, if if we are humanized
on screen and not victor or villain.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Totally agreed.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
I also think, uh, you know, you've you've made such
an impression on community. I you know, I want to
make sure that that's something that we talk about because.
Speaker 4 (44:49):
I want to take that with me. This is not
negating that.
Speaker 5 (44:52):
This is also showing like y'all is okay, Like you know,
we hear this thing all the time, like I am
my ancestor's wildest dreams.
Speaker 4 (44:59):
I want the Oscar.
Speaker 5 (45:00):
Your answers don't give no fuck about you when a
no Oscar girl, Your answers, why did you buy the
river with your family hanging out, laughing, singing joyfully, Like
That's where I'm going with it, right, Like you don't
have to be a freaking CEO of IBM in order
to be worth a damn. Like I think about this
all the time. If I did nothing, the people that
(45:21):
have impacted me the most are the people that have
just bestowed kindness upon me. I remember when I was
down and out depressed. I'm walking down the street in
North Hollywood and this unhoused man starts talking to me.
I didn't know he was on house at the time.
We just start chatting. He's like, how's your day, girl.
I'm like it's not good. I'm like, I have no idea.
We're chatting, but it's not a good day. And he's like,
(45:42):
talk to me sis. And we're sitting here and I'm like,
is this And he's like, you want some of this joint?
Speaker 4 (45:46):
And I'm like, all right, we're smoking a joint.
Speaker 5 (45:48):
And he's like Hey, I got to catch the buzz
because the shelter's closing soon.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
You want to take it with me?
Speaker 5 (45:52):
And I was like, and at that moment, I was like, girls,
shut up, like shut up right now. Like but it's that,
it's like this beautiful hue, Like it's what are we
doing in this space of saying giving hierarchy to one
thing and not the other?
Speaker 3 (46:09):
So now, and as we kind of wrap up our conversation,
do you have there's a young Anna Gonzalaz out there
and she's listening to this podcast and she's like, wow,
she's talking to me. What do you want to say
to her?
Speaker 5 (46:35):
To any young person out there who is struggling to
love themselves, to understand themselves, the fact that you are
asking these questions means you are halfway there. If you
see a big problem, then you also know that a
big solution is coming. There's going to be a lot
of people along the way that are going to vilify
(46:55):
you for the things that come natural to you. My
whole life, people would say you're too much, you're too loud,
you're to this, And now I make a living doing
all these things that people told me were wrong, bad, ugly,
and stupid about me. Turn the things that if people try,
that people have tried to use against you into your superpower.
(47:18):
It's not about being better a better person. I think
it's about being more of an honest person. And the
more that you can accept who you are, the more
than you can become integrated and actualized and have sovereignty
and full self acceptance to go do whatever purpose is
(47:39):
on your heart.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Well, ladies and gentlemen, does any Gonzales in the house
so happy that you can't do to see us and
spend a little time with us? And I hope that
the world continues to discover the beauty that you are.
And I'm just so proud of you, so proud to
have you here, so proud to have you in our lives,
and excited to watch you in the big one and
(48:02):
on the small one too.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Absolutely, yes, no, I'm just so excited.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
So so so grateful to have you here.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
Annie.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
And uh and for those listening, all those producers and
directors listening out there, Annie is hilarious in real life.
I know, I know you've seen her in all these
wonderful dramas. She's killed it. She's proven that she's a
wonderful actress, but she is absolutely hilarious and I one
(48:32):
agree with you. I think you should be doing romantic
comedies as well. Thank you so much for being here.
I am Freddie Rodriguez.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
And not wilmot Rama. Thank you for listening to podcasts.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
YEA is a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael
through That podcast Network, hosted by Me, Freddie Rodriguez, and
Wilmer Valdorama.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
Those Amigos is produced by Cooper Mole and Sophie Spencer Saveles.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Our executive producers are Wilmervaldurama, Freddie Rodriguez, and Leo Clem
at WV Sound.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
This show is mixed and mastered by Sean Tracy and
original music by Madison Devenport and Hala Boy.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the R Heart
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
See you next week.
Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
This is Freddie Rodriguez.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
And I'm Wilman about the rama. Welcome to the Those
Amigos podcasts. We are excited for today's episode, indeed, because
we have.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Who do we have a third Amigama?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Who is it? Please, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I know he's gonna sound the horn because it's that
he loves to do it, you know.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
He did it early, but we're gonna just gotta go
with it. Uh, everybody, please help me. Welcome one of
my dearest sisters in life. I love her so much. Yes,
she's one of the most talented people I've ever met
in my agree. Her aura is giving super stardom, giving
Zion ready given now and next. I concur she's given
(00:48):
now and next and next. Annie Gonzalez, he loves that horn.
That's like his favorite thing. And I will tell you
that we were very excited to have you in this
podcasts for many reasons. Some of the conversations we've been
having rhyme with the spirit of who you are.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
A lot of it this.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Is about kind of inspiration and dig into like who
we really are. But it's really also kind of tapping into.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know, uh.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
That that who you were versus what you are and
where you want to be and you know, so all
these conversations are really relevant. But also it's kind of
a moment to give you flowers too, you know. And
I think this podcast is about making sure you realize
that some of us in this community, uh look at
you as the future of our culture, and we're very
excited to uplift.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
You on that level.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
And I'm going to just say a few projects for
all of our amazing listeners and everyone who gets to
watch us as well. From the early work, let me see,
would you say hand to Fight? It was one of
those pittible moments for you.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Definitely, Yeah, that was like.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
A moment I was, uh, this is where I met her.
I got a chance to do a little cameo on
that show. It was on Netflix. It was authentic, it
was raw, it was unapologetic, and and that's when the
world first got to see Anni Gonzalez. Hand to Fight
is available on Netflix now, so you guys, definitely catch
up on that. The next big thing that I want
(02:20):
everyone to find because she's also on Disney Plus right now.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
It's flaming hot.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
The stories of the of the creator of hot Cheetos,
and she played the incomparable backbone of the family. The
reason why this all was possible was she was the
matriarch of that family and uh, you know, Salas played
a beautiful character there, Latina. Yes, and then you know,
we have driveaway dolls. This is twenty twenty four. That
(02:46):
was really really uh incredible cast. Yeah, to say a
few Uh, let me see Pedro, Pascal, Matt Damon, all
those guys.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
You know, some of those guys, I think they still
work right. Stuff is still the stuff.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
And then she played Jenny and the Jenny rivera I biopic,
which you know, we're also really proud of immortalizing that story.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
As well, carrying it on your shoulders.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
And you know, and we're gonna talk about what you
got an eggs and when you got out and you
got all that and yeah, but say a few words,
you know, tell us how are you feeling today?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
So many words, so many feelings today.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
No, I'm feeling so great and energized, honestly. I mean,
you know, I'm like, first and foremost I'm big fans
of the both of you, and then getting to know
you throughout the last couple of years. You were actually
one of the first people when I started getting my
career up and going. You were like, I want to
have a zoom with you. Let's talk. Who are you?
(03:40):
And I was like, and I remember feeling there was
like a sense of safety and like kinship in family
to be like, oh, wow, like you care, and you
care because you want you know that this crazy industry
can throw you any which way. And you wanted me
to feel like I had like an anchor when I
was out or if I didn't that I could call you,
(04:02):
which that was really like humbling and uplifting all at
the same time.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
And then when I got to meet you, I was like,
oh my.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
God, a big fan. I love you.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
So it's just just I'm really and I've been seeing
everybody else on the podcast and I was like, those
are my friends.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I wonder if delivery, But no, where are you from?
Where were you born?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Born and raised in East Lee, East LA.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
In East l A.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
I grew up off of like Whittier and Atlantic, so
like so like you have East Los Angeles, like Greater
East Los Angeles and you have the actual city East
Los Angeles, and that's where I grew up because people
will be like, oh you mean Boyle Heights.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Oh you mean city terraces. I'm like, no, I mean
straight up East La.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
And are your folks and your grand your grandparents are
they also La? Yeah? So where do you ethnically? Where
are they from?
Speaker 5 (04:48):
So I'm Mexican? Well, okay, so I'm Mexican. People always
like save something for everyone else, but I really am
all this stuff.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
I'm Mexican, Guatemalan, French, Italian and German. And let me
tell you what it is.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (05:02):
So my mom, her dad is from what Mala and
he's half Guatemala and half German. The more missionaries were
out there and you know, they impregnated my they did,
and then they had him and half German, half bottom
all the baby.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
And then he met.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
What do you mean by impregnant?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
So let me explain it.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Let me.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
So then he met my grandma, my grandma Francis, who
is my obviously my mom's mom, and they had they
have my mommy and so she's my grandma's Mexican and Basque.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
And then on my dad's side, both of his parents
are from Mexico and my grandpa's from Halischool and then
my grandma is from Tijuana.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Wow. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, that's so crazy.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I thought you were for a second you would be
like did my twenty three and me and I find out.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
I also did that.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
We were having an interesting conversation earlier, and you were saying,
I've been doing this since I was a kid, since
i was like nine years old, right, like, like, how
does someone from East La? Right, and this is and
this is coming from somebody who grew up in the
inner city of Chicago, right where we're opportunities for people
who grow up like us, they're not vast, right, how
does an opportunity come up for someone like you who
(06:27):
La East La at nine years old?
Speaker 1 (06:31):
For that matter?
Speaker 5 (06:32):
Yeah, I came out of the I'm very fortunate to
say that I came out of the womb knowing that
this is all I've ever wanted to do. My dad
was an actor, started acting at like five, singing and
acting at five. Wow.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
An incredible musician by the way, Oh really, And they
sing together and they played together.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Which is like, wow, you know, really beautiful in La
in La.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, And what's your father's name?
Speaker 5 (06:57):
His name is Gabriel Gonzalez band called, and it's so
I'm actually going to be singing with them more now.
It's it's been a really beautiful journey with me and him,
but five years old doing movies in Mexico and him.
My dad and my mom met at Hollywood High She
always wanted to be an actress and do all of this,
but I don't think she had she'd even say it
(07:18):
self proclaimed she didn't have the confidence to go out
there and do it. But you meet her and she's
just so cute and bubbly and adorable, and she totally
could have.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
But they had me.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
I was their little love child at twenty three, and
when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad was
doing do you guys know the movie Vida Loca? Yeah,
of course, So my dad is in that movie.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
He's in that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, who does he
playing that movie?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
He plays a little sleepy, a little sleepy sleepy and
dad though he's like a music the Oh my god,
thank he's so much.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I mean that was kind of the same story for
everybody in that movie. Though they were like real actors.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
They were and yeah, I've been a couple, like straight up,
straight up yeah, straight up from But you can't.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Fake their eyeliner with the sauce, can't. You got to
get the authentic guyliners.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
And those were the girls.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Those girls were my favorite in the film because I'm like, yo,
they ain't acting.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
You can feel that.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You can feel that.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
So your papa was an actor.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Papa was an actor, and I think it was just
in my bones and my blood.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
My mom and my dad.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
Split up shortly after they had me. And so this
is the poetic justice that I'm about to speak about.
How he's saying me and my dad are really close.
Now we didn't, We weren't really in each other's lives
for the better part of like twenty seven issuares Wow.
But we both have done our work on ourselves, and
now it's an interesting thing that music is bringing us
(08:45):
back together.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Picking up where you kind of left off, but then
also like building a new report.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
And create really understanding that like all the things that
didn't make sense with my mom. Even my siblings tell me,
they're like, you are so much like dad, and it's
crazy nature versus nurture.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
And that's one of my best friends. Like, I love that, man.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I got a chance to see you guys perform together,
and it's just like I want that with my daughter.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I want to be able to do that my daughter.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
But you know, I don't know how long she's going
to be singing in Kanto songs, so I can really
be doing that.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It's in her future, man, I see it.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
But how how so how how did you turn your
Easter a story into into one of contributor in Hollywood?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
How does that? How does that work?
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Because you think about all of our perspective journeys, we
had very unlikely situations that could actually lead to what
it is, you know, and some of us decided we're
gonna get trained and we're gonna get the tools, you know,
and then we're gonna go get noticed. But how did
you how did you aim to get noticed?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
It's so weird.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
I so as a little kid, you know, you go,
they have like these mole searches and stuff, and everybody
always tell my mom like showcases. Yeah, the show right,
it's all a scam, y'all. Don't fall for it, Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
For commercials, say yeah, the first thing.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
To pay five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I know that story.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
By the way, I did it at an lax Skilton
oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I did one of those showcases when I was seventeen, sixteen, seventeen, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Yeah, so good anyway, Hey, but listen, there's a lesson
and you learn and then you're like, Okay, at least
I know I can do this, right. So they would
come up to my mom all the time, but my
mom already knew agent, my dad's agent. So we went
to them, I think when I was like seven or eight,
and at the time they were like, she has a
weak eye, she's a little chunky, she doesn't sing loud enough,
(10:37):
like I don't know. My mom was like, look that, like,
we're not bringing her here. So a couple of years
went by and then we went back and I had
all the confidence and spunk and so they signed me
and I had my.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
First audition ever for Without a Trace. I booked it.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
How are you nine?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
You were nine?
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Without Without a Trace?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
So the way that I was raised, I was raised
mostly with my mom's side of the family, and they're
all six generation, right, Mexican American Chicanas and because we
were so and I think a part of it it's like,
you know, my grandma used to get her butt kicked
in high school for speaking Spanish, so we never learned
how to speak Spanish.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
We also, you know, in order to assimilate.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
It's like, you don't really feed these ideas that you
can't because you're a woman, you can't because you're brown.
I never heard that growing up, and so I think
I always walked in with that sort of confidence, like
I'm just talented, like I grew up watching Bett Midler
and Barbara Streissan.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
I'm like, I'm a Jewish woman on the inside. What
are you talking about? Ideas?
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Like so, and then you know, you book your first audition, like,
who's gonna tell you shit?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Right?
Speaker 4 (11:43):
At that point? Can I curse? I'm cursing?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, yes you do? Yeah here, Oh you.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Said it too, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Damn.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
So I think it kind of just was the ripple
effect from the cauld You just say damn as your
bad word.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
What the heck?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I'm flabbergast.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Oh hell oh god, I expected that from Danny's year.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Uh yeah, story for you.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I was thinking about another fake.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
This is just a woman in our perpetual state of
high school.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yes, yes, we just don't let go. You should.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
That's why you guys look so young.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
What was that experience like night.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Who was on Without a Trace?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
What's her name?
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Ye, it's your network.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
You should go please never before my time?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
My first time was four Stars. Do you remember who
was in four Stars? No?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Poppy Montgomery?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Okay, was in there when you did it?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Right? I did not.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
I wasn't on it with I was.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
All right, Eric, Oh my god, I remember that one.
I remember. Yeah. My first thing for TV was four Stars. No, No, no, No,
four corners?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Four corners?
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Was it a show?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
It was a drama.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
It did really well on CBS, and I played an
autistic boy that died drowned.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That's a different episode after.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Without a Trace? Did were your agents?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Like?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Oh, well, hold on a second, Like she booked her
first audition, like she's you know, we can send her
out there and found the pavement and she's going to
start booking for us.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And wait, did you have an agent? I did? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah, I was with this uh boutique agency called Stage
nine at the time and it still around. I don't
think so.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
I know both of them still, Carol and Fay. They
were my girl girls, like musical theater heads. They were
think of like have you seen We've all seen friends
Joey Tribanni's agent.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Talking like this, always smoking in the house. This is
who they want. Honey, you're a little fat right now,
but that's okay. That could work for you in your advantage.
Like this is how they would talk to me at
like nine.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Ten, and I'd be like, Okay, thank god, I'm developing
as a young woman.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
It's okay. But they did and I also too.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
I mean, the same confidence that I had as a
kid I have now, Like you know I was, I
was walking in like I could do it, I could
do everything, and like I still do that, I feel like,
so I think that's what they saw more than anything,
Like the tenacity I had, and like the fearlessness, like
I've always been a type of person that's like I
might fail, but I'm a fucking figure it out. So
(14:47):
after we did that, I was on this kid's special
called jam x Kids and we had a special on
wb Rihanna opened up for us Natasha Bedingfield. It was
basically like Think of Kids Incorporated meets the Mickey Mouse Club,
and we were trying to get young kids off the
(15:08):
couch dancing and like moving their body, and so we
had Alison Stoner, we had who's still a very good
friend of mine.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I'm still friends with everyone.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
We had like a bunch of different young kids from
all type of ethnic backgrounds, and I was They auditioned
at least five hundred kids. I was probably the least
qualified of anyone, because like I had never taken an
acting class, I had never taken a dance class, I
had never really taken a singing class. And I booked
it off of sheer confidence alone and struggled throughout the
(15:38):
whole fucking like rehearsal process. And we would do live shows,
and I was the chunkiest one out of the group.
Like I remember certain moms at schools coming out to
be like, how does it feel to be the fat
one in the crew?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Is this crazy?
Speaker 4 (15:50):
At twelve years old?
Speaker 3 (16:00):
It feels like, especially at the beginning of all of
our careers, we've all had certain specific adversities that other
people have put on us, even though we've never seen
ourselves in the way that somehow they've described it I.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Allowed to be. How do you overcome that?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
How do you say your opinion is not my opinion
of myself right? How do you lean into the strength
on what you're here to do over the people perception
of the box that put you in.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Right, And I to explain a little further.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
You know, when I first started myself, obviously I had
an accent, right, They're like, well you got an accent.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
No one on TV has accents.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
You're never gonna work right, and like, oh man, okay,
And like I was never according to them, like I
was not ugly enough and not cute enough. It was
like this weird thing when I was a teenager that's
like not old enough and not young enough either. You know,
it's like there was always something that was put on
you by others that you didn't see about yourself. Because
(17:08):
it takes a level of confidence to break through whatever
walls and lego houses the build in front of you
to actually get to where you're sitting right now. So
how do you how do you feel that you because
I'm hearing it in your stories and it continues to
come up, and it's it's so sobering to know that
for a young woman, that's got to be incredibly difficult
(17:32):
to navigate and to break as like not just the stigma,
but like identity, like that's not what I am.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Right at that age too, Right, Like twelve, you said.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
Dude, Yeah, when you're like developing as a person, like
your like frontal lobe is not even like your neuro
responders are barely figuring out, like.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You might not even have seen it. And the until
they kept you know.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
It was it was I want to say, a combination
of a bunch of different things. Like So my mom
was a young mom, but I know for a fact
she was always after some form of consciousness and guidance
her mom. And the reason I go back to this
because I really think that our industry, yes, it's talent,
(18:15):
but how many talented people do you know, just don't
continue because their nervous system doesn't allow them to. Like
I know plenty of people who are way more gifted
than I am, but will never do what I'm doing
because they cannot get over the idea of being perceived.
So my mom, at a young age, she introduced me
(18:35):
to you guys know the Secret. Yeah, so, okay, the
book and they they have a movie about it if
you want. The movie is so cheesy, but it's so good,
especially if it's like, let me explain this to an
eight year old. So my mom made me watch it
at eight years old, and I myself, I think, was
always looking to like finding a parent because my mom
(18:56):
had me so young. I was here, there, and everywhere.
I was like talk about being raised by a villa.
I was raised by a village, which I think is
a really powerful thing because I got to have so
many different perspectives than just one head of household perspective.
I feel like this is going to be a long
winded answer to get.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Hey, welcome to a podcast.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
Like even myself, I was raised Mormon with my mom
till I was about aid. Yeah, Mexican Mormons. What's up,
Jack Mormon? Now drinking coffee? That's all right, Yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
I was raised Mormon, and then we left the Mormon Church,
and then I myself was still looking for some sort
of guidance and parental figures. And so then I myself
converted to Catholicism, did all my sacraments, the whole rigamarole.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
So I think the long and.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
Short of it was introduced to the secret got me
thinking about how does my brain work and what is
the reality that I'm creating. And one of the things
that stuck out to me even as a kid was
if you want something from someone stop pointing out the
that they're not doing, and start highlighting the thing that
they are doing right so they can do more of
that correct. Very simple, but I really took that to heart,
(20:08):
and as a young kid, my mom also instilled in me.
I didn't know the difference yet, but as a kid
when I would get you know, I was bullied a
lot in school. I had to wear eyepatch in second grade.
Like it just was an experience. So like struggle has
been a part of it for the from the beginning
for me, you know, not having my dad around. I
remember I'd go to friends houses and their dad would
be there and I'd be like, wait.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
Your dad lives here. That's so weird.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
Like there was just certain things that might that it
was just my norm and my baseline. So to me,
I'm like, it's not hard if that's my baseline. But
if I look at it like it's hard, then it's
gonna be hard. But if I look at it like
it's a part of the dance, then I just wear
that shit and I learn how to flow smoothly while
carrying tons of bricks so that when it finally comes off,
(20:50):
I'm ready to run the races.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
So I think be given that sort.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
Of ideas as as a foundation as a kid. I've
taken that with me into adulthood that even when it
feels like the world doesn't want me, I remember I
am the world and I tell the world.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
What it wants.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
So this idea right like fighting through these things. One
of my first managers at so I took a break
from acting from sixteen to about twenty three. There was
a lot of family things going on, and when I
decided to get back in again, it was the same thing.
Started booking like this. But before that I was with
this manager and she was like saying, like, you you're
not thin enough to play the leading female Anginu, You're
(21:35):
not fat enough to play the best friend, You're not
this enough. And I write all these things and instead
of looking at this like this is a bad thing.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
My whole life, people had talked about my weight. I
was always a chunky kid.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
There was a lot of things that happened to me
as a kid that made me want to gain weight
to hide.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
That.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
When she was telling me this, I was finally in.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
This space of you know when you go to that
height of consciousness and you're like, none of this is
like I can shape shift right, Like I am not
these things.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I'm going to walk if I stand still.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
And I used to do shit like every today, everyone
is going to give me something free. I'm going to
get something free wherever I go and it would happen.
And so you get little things like that, and it's
like what you believe is true. I'm like, I'm going
to be a movie star. My first audition I booked,
So I'm like, oh shit, I create this ship. I
create this shit. So when a homegirl tells me you
need to lose weight, you need to do all these things.
I did it because I started to look at all
(22:32):
of this as just a meat suit, like I am
influenced by my culture and I am I'm not negated,
like I'm Latina, I'm proud, I'm all these things. But
I'm also an artist and a dreamer and a healer.
And so I started to look at it like, how
how do I get out of the confines of this
bullshit structure that does not.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Work for anyone like us?
Speaker 5 (22:55):
If we believe and we're living in the structure, how
do I get out of the matrix. I'm not gonna
fight the industry by saying industry, you suck, you don't
want me, Like, then they're just gonna be like, yeah,
I don't like it earned my mind, right, I'm going
to go into these spaces thinking that I need to
prove something versus going in there and being like I'm
the proof, right, And I think it's just been a
(23:16):
it's been a daily practice, hourly, minute by minute practice
of that, like I don't think I'm ever gonna arrive,
but I've also learned that that's a part of what
does that mean?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I don't think I'm ever gonna go into arrive.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Meaning like you know how you're like how how did
you come to this realization of like this confidence while
everybody's telling me this, that and the other that it's
not going to work or you should change this, Like
we all get these these narratives that are and I
think for me, meaning I'm never gonna arrive fully is
(23:51):
is I don't know if I'll ever realize that I
then did it, that I did it, But I think
that that's the most fun part about it.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
But it's also ambition, right, It's also like, you know,
the the artist that's always in a search of something higher,
you know, just as like you climb a mountain, you realize,
oh wait a minute, there's an actually taller one, you know,
And so it's it's a really interesting thing to think about.
I mean, we all have that gene otherwise we will
stop fighting in this industry for a long time, right like,
(24:21):
and and it's a very important thing. It's important listen.
You know, there's always gonna be something, you know, worth climbing.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
That's why when you know, we were in your office
the other day and I'm looking at this, I'm like,
and I was telling I was telling you earlier. I'm like,
I've only dreamt this far, Like I've just wanted to
do movies and be able to live by myself in
a little two bedroom home that looks over you know,
the city.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
And now I'm there and I'm.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
Like, ah shit, there's more like what And then I
come here and I'm like, do you remember?
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I Like we were going through like your drawer of
all this cool things.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
I'm like, the first thing I asked him was how
do you prepare your nervous system for this? And you
were like I didn't. I just kept going. And so
that was a new gift for me of like, oh, yeah,
like you can't. Maybe like you can try, Like I
can think I can have all the answers and read
all the books and do all the spiritual shit. But
(25:17):
I gotta do it, yeah, Like I gotta stop freaking
talking about it and just do it.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
One of the things that kind of comes back to
me in those moments is is everyone there's a philosophy
that says, hey, pause, look around, take it de breath, right.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Take inventory. I don't have that gene. I don't.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I don't see what you see around me because my
eyes are like five. Is that we produce that you're
started in, right, Like my head is already there. And
what's interesting is that longer you do this, the more
you realize.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
That you're creative hunger.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
And that could be the same for business, for education,
for entrepreneurship, for just you know, emotional achievement. The more
that you stop, you almost stop your practice.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Right wait, Like the more that like you stop in
the introm to like take stock fully and I think.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
It's important to take a deep breath.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
But you know, as artists, we are continuing to mold
and if if you stop for a second, you might
forget what shape was next, right.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
So like, slow down, don't stop.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
You can slow down to appreciate, give yourself grace and
enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Right.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
But if you woke up this morning, you're already winning,
which means how much more winning you.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Gotta do today, you know?
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Right, So like if you've still got hours in the day,
how much more winning you want to do?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Right?
Speaker 3 (27:05):
It's has been the philosophy for our show here for
you know, when we always talked about that. But to
your point, like, you know, if a shark stops swimming,
it dies, right, So I think the biggest and most
important factor of that, you know, that primal instinct is
that if you're a hunter for creativity, you gotta keep hunting.
(27:28):
You know, you gotta keep get them up in the morning.
You got to keep you know, loading up your bag.
You got to keep you know, lining up your ammunition.
You gotta go out there and look for you know,
look what you're going to bring home at the.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
End of the day.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Right, And that's the moment of pride. That's when you
can stop, take a deep breath and enjoy it, and
then you get up in the morning you keep molding again.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Right.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
But I think that you're what you're what you're describing
is is such something I think all of us can take,
you know, past for a second and take in the
fact that, like, you know, sometimes we don't give ourselves
grace that we're doing what we said we're going to
be doing, you know, but it is part of the
entrepreneurial heart that says, like there's always something bigger out there, Right, Freddie,
(28:11):
how do you how do you take pass? I like,
how do you because you've always your right, your.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Direct you you you do it all?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Like how how does how does that journey been like
for you?
Speaker 2 (28:23):
You know, it's it's very similar to like what you're
you were just talking. That's why I'm really absorbing everything
and even like you talk about your nervous system and
just like a lot of like what you're saying, you know,
especially where And this is why I even asked you
this initially, Right, I don't know if it had something
to do with like our environment and how we grew
up and like if that informed are sort of this
(28:43):
this like unstoppable belief in ourselves, right because we because
we came from the backgrounds that we came from. But
I'm but but but I always looked at it the
same way. In my early journey, I was it was
very similar to yours, you know. It was it was
very much like, this is what I'm going to do,
and that's it. And every fiber of my being is
saying that this is what I'm gonna do, right, And
(29:06):
so every movement, every thought, every step I took it
was it was with the belief that this is what
I was going to do, and and it manifested itself.
But you you talked a lot about this is the
second time I heard you bring up You're talking about
nervous system, Like why do you keep bringing that up?
Like what is it about the nervous system in particular?
(29:26):
And I'm very curious because that's something that I've really
been concentrating on in the last five years. I never
even knew anything really that that the nervous system even
existed in that capacity or or I've been doing a
real deep dive, like like why is it that you
keep talking about it and bringing it up.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
I grew up in a very volatile household. My mom
grew up in a very volatile household. Like it's it's
you know, epigenetics is a real thing, right, So like
you can have something that your ancestors went through that
you don't even know why you're afraid of this thing,
but you a and you've never experienced it, but you
come across it and you freeze. So for me, the
(30:05):
way my nervous system was set up, I you know
how they have like fight flight, freeze or fawn response.
I'm a freezer and I'm a fauner. Now I would
see the way that some of the people raised me,
how they would raise me and tell me what was right,
what was wrong, what was hard, what was easy, and
they look so fucking unhappy that even as a little kid,
(30:29):
I'm like, that don't seem right. And I couldn't pinpoint
it yet until I went to therapy at like twenty
I think I was like twenty six. I was doing henhified.
I had a boyfriend, we were living together. I was
so depressed. My nervous system wasn't set up for safety.
(30:50):
When it felt easy, I like he would sometimes come
to ha hug me and I please don't, please don't
touch me, and I'd start shaking and I'd start crying.
When I'd get into conflict, I didn't I never felt
safe in my house.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
I wasn't.
Speaker 5 (31:05):
I was, and it you know, no shade on anyone.
It was just the life, right, It was just the experience.
And now we're learning a new one. But at the time,
my big feelings weren't welcomed, so I didn't even know
how to fucking have them. Like an opinion, right, like
a preference was like, oh, why do you like to
do that thing?
Speaker 4 (31:22):
And then I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's stupid.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
I don't want to do that because I was how
I grew up was because I was babysit a lot
by different people.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
It was like anti behave, and so I knew.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
I learned early on, if I can make you love
me and if I can be the most charming person
in the room, you'll take care of me, right, right.
And I had to get out of that because nobody
makes good work by being a fucking people pleaser, right.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
So for me the.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
Last five years now in this space, having to really
as we know when we're when we're doing our job,
we have to be fully present. I didn't know how
to do that. So I'm twenty six doing tenthified going
back home every day after shooting sobbing.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
I'm good.
Speaker 5 (32:05):
They're good, I'm gonna get fired. Why I didn't think
I was good enough because my whole life people told
me like it was like the running joke was Annie
wants to be an actress.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Okay, Like my cousins would.
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Be like, you think you could do a watch, I
could do it, skippy peanut butter, and they would make
fun of me. Like my whole family. I was called
fatty Annie, right, like it's the thing. But when you're
a young girl and you and I had no siblings
in the household and everybody was mean to me, or
this was my perception at the time, it was very victimhood.
It's I'm, you know, fucking nine, ten, twelve, like whatever.
(32:39):
So it was very much like that space. And I
was depressed, having very deep suicidal thoughts doing this show
where everybody's like, you're killing Annie, You're finally doing it.
I'm telling my mom I'm stressed, and she's like stressed
about what because she didn't get it right?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
And so do you think that their compliments was was
sort of like crashing against your nerves because your nervous
system was telling you something else, and so them telling
you you were doing great was the opposite of what
you were used to feeling, or like I'm trying to
get to the bottom of why you felt it.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Was like it was like when there's so many layers
to this.
Speaker 5 (33:21):
But I think I so the reason why I stopped
acting at sixteen was my mom's oldest sister.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
My the idity was my mom.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
My mom was really young, so a lot of the
time during the week of school, I was with her
right and she would babysit me and blah blah blah,
And you know, I lived with them like probably let's say,
fifty percent of the time. And she passed away when
I was sixteen, So like the foundation of safety that
I knew was ripped under me, and so I never
(33:50):
after that.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
It took me a while.
Speaker 5 (33:51):
Now I have, I've learned how to reach out to
my mom and other mythas and other people in my
family and be like I'm taking care of But it
took me a long time to find my footing. And
I think that I didn't know where my foundation was anymore.
Like I was like, nobody's gonna have my back, nobody's
gonna take care of me, nobody's gonna this, Like nobody
understands me, nobody's curious to understand me. And then you
do this thing and you're a product, but you don't
(34:14):
know you're a product yet, And so.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
I was.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
Yo, okay, so hind if I just came out the
first season, I'm starting to get recognized.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
I'm out in the world and I'm from the hood.
Like I'm like, I'm an inner.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
City girl, right, so people be looking at me and
I'd be like what like and they'd be like sorry,
like you you're on that show, right, and I'd be like,
oh yeah. So then me and my best friend we
ended up going on a vacation and I'm like, when
I'm here, don't call me.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
By my name.
Speaker 4 (34:45):
My name is love. Like I don't know what I am,
Like nobody knew how I was in.
Speaker 5 (34:50):
But I was going through this like existential, like my
dreams are coming true. Someone's gonna die, I'm gonna die,
Like it felt that heavy, and I did. I had
to died of myself. I had to have a freaking
ego death. And I feel like we're all like you.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (35:06):
And then and then it was like right after that,
then it was heentified and then there was all these
I mean not hentified. Then it was flaming hot, and
then it just felt like it was all back to
back and I had I hadn't.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
I didn't know who to talk to.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
You also wear and equipped for that type of frequency, right,
because you kind of work so long to get that
one hit and then you're like have that experience it
ends and then quickly right after you get to the
next one, and like you know, the mirage is like,
oh man, this is like this is like a lot
or it's just like, okay, the engine's going right, like
it's perspective.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
You don't know where to go, And I didn't have
anybody around me, like even though you had reached out,
I didn't know what questions to ask you, Like I
didn't know how to approach, like, hey, can you help me,
I'm nervous right or I'm working with Eva. And she
was also also has been a great mentor woman. Oh
my gosh. When we did our whole press run, she
would sit next to me and she would just talk
shop with me. And I didn't like, like, you know,
(35:58):
have fun with this and learn this and make sure
you try this out. But I still didn't know the
questions to ask her because there still felt like this
disconnect of like she seems so happy and she has
it together. I don't want to bring her down with
my like I'm scared. I'm really depressed. I don't think
I can do it. I don't think I'm pretty enough.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
I don't.
Speaker 5 (36:14):
It was all of these things all at once. All
of the bad things that anybody had ever told me
about myself were the loudest voices.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
And do you feel like that was coming to the
surface because you were becoming more famous and people were
your work was getting recognized.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
Like what I was like, They're going to realize I'm
a fraud. Sure makes sense, right, I was like, they're
going to make sense.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
I mean, we all go through that, by the way,
and like it's and it's like, you know, I just
want to first and foremost, I want to compliment the fact.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
That, like you have come to this realizations. You know that.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
There's certain elements that undnihilely come with the role of
being an artist. You know, when you're amplifying people's lives
and characters, you connect on such a soulful level. They
know you and you've never met them, right, And I
think you've done a beautiful job. You created such a
(37:14):
beautiful community for you, and the game is rooting for
you, you know. And I think the actors and you know,
and producers and directors are aware of the sun that
you are, you know. And I think you're beginning to
really trust in that process. You're beginning to trust that
the hours of self work and the hours.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Of reflection.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Plus the hours you put in on the hustle are
finally paying off and they're opening the portal to what's next.
And I think, you know, I know you're a very
spiritual person. I think spirituality works. But I don't want
to say anything for the sake of being inappropriate. But
(38:00):
there's a lot of stuff that I could say.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Right now Amen, Amen, Amen is very mean now, Amen, amen,
because you're the amen.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Right.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
But I think the point.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
I'm making is that you know, you're answering to a
higher energy now and you're performing at a higher you know,
consciousness and and and it's beautiful to see that because
I remember when I first met you and you you
had that, you had.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
All of that.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
You weren't green in your heart, right, you were green
in the environment because it was just the first time
you were you know, like, where is everything at but
your soul had been seasoned by you know, your once
and your needs and your inspirations. When you look at
what you're going to go next, what do you what
does that look like?
Speaker 5 (38:49):
Oh? Wow, this is the thing I'm saying, the dream.
I have to dream again, to dream.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
To die.
Speaker 5 (38:58):
God, There's so many things that I want and that
I'm going to get because I mean, you guys know
you've been doing this forever and the way our careers
can span out, can we can have eighteen different lives
in this one? And I really want to do rom coms.
(39:23):
I would kill in that space. There's not enough people
that want to and can deliver with the complex layers
that I believe rom coms had in the nineties. I
think people sometimes go in and they phone it in
because they classified as a rom com. But when Harry
met Sally was a rom com and you watch that
(39:44):
and you're like, now that's a slice of life, delicious
fit what you got? All of these films right that
I grew up, That's those are the movies I grew
up watching. Like my favorite is When Harry Met Sally.
I've told you before. For the Boys that Middler you
have the mirror has two faces.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Don Yeah.
Speaker 5 (40:07):
God, I think what what we need just as humans
is to show our humanity. And I would love to
be the lead of those to showcase that people like
me deserve to just fall in love on screen.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Yeah, I think.
Speaker 5 (40:28):
I think those are the stories that I'm here to
tell about the complex layers of what it is and
looks like to be a deeply flawed woman who is
on that journey, you know those That's.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
That's an interesting that's an interesting perception because like, and
correct me if I'm wrong, But a lot of the
stuff that you've done, the hint defies the flaming Hots
have been more dramas, right, They've been kind of deeper stuff.
But I've known you for a year or two now,
and I've had a couple of encounters, and so by
you saying I'd love to do romantic comedies, I can
(41:04):
totally see it. But I'm saying that from someone who
has spoken to you outside of this right here, I'm like, oh, yeah,
I totally see it. You know, do you feel like
your instrument inside of you is telling us, is screaming
that out as well? Like, like, what made you come
to this realization? That that like, oh, I belong in
the sort of the rom com space, like this is
(41:25):
this is the avenue that I want to take.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Because she's hilarious.
Speaker 6 (41:34):
Like I've had we met before a couple of I
remember meeting you at this other thing, and I was
always like, she's quick, man, She's super quick and witty
and like so like you, you naturally possess all of
the attributes that I would see in an actress leading
a romantic comedy.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
But I'm saying you any any like you?
Speaker 2 (41:56):
You're yourself, you know so. But it's interesting that they're
rejectory of your career is taking you down down drama,
so like like what what what did you come to
some realization that you were just like, hey, this is
part of like my toolbox here that really hasn't been
used as an actress. And I want to go down
this direction.
Speaker 5 (42:14):
I think, and I say this without like ego to myself,
but I think if I'm looking at myself as like
a product and as like like like like a business, right,
I've lived so much life and I have so much depth.
I always have that, and I think it's and you know,
sometimes it's like detrimental even to myself, but that I
(42:37):
want to leave this world like exhausted, Like I've done
everything that I've could right, like I sing, I dance.
I'm writing a short film like and and not because
I want to like capitalize off of everything. It's not
I'm not trying to turn everything into like a monetary thing.
But I'm like, I feel like God gave me these gifts,
so why not use them to the fullest. And to me,
(42:58):
comedy is so hard, like to do it well, like
and you guys are you guys have done everything as
well and are like deliciously comedic in a way that's like, damn,
we didn't know that you could do that with that thing.
I mean, I've heard the story about that seventies show
and them not knowing what this character was gonna be like,
and you show up and every freaking time it's like.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
No, no one knows what's coming out of you.
Speaker 5 (43:23):
No one knows how like, and every time you've been
on screen, I'm like, it's such interesting choices. I find
that to be way more difficult than sitting and crying
and milking a moment. And even in those moments, I
do try and find the layers of complexities because humans
are so interesting. But I do why, I think I
(43:43):
want why I want to do rom com In particular,
being a brown woman, I find it exhausting that the
stories that were allowed to tell come from struggle, strife
or high achievement, right, like, like, I'm just a fucking person. Yeah,
(44:07):
I have been the devil in someone's life and I've
been someone's angel. And I think, as I think, you know,
it feels like a lot of the stories that get
greenlit sometimes films, I mean, even even the ones that
I've been a part of, right, it's big ip and
it's you know, rags to riches or like this, Like
I'm I I just want to live.
Speaker 4 (44:27):
I think that's how.
Speaker 5 (44:28):
Then that's how then politics and policies change and are
made for us by us, if if we are humanized
on screen and not victor or villain.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Totally agreed.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
I also think, uh, you know, you've you've made such
an impression on community. I you know, I want to
make sure that that's something that we talk about because.
Speaker 4 (44:49):
I want to take that with me. This is not
negating that.
Speaker 5 (44:52):
This is also showing like y'all is okay, Like you know,
we hear this thing all the time, like I am
my ancestor's wildest dreams.
Speaker 4 (44:59):
I want the Oscar.
Speaker 5 (45:00):
Your answers don't give no fuck about you when a
no Oscar girl, Your answers, why did you buy the
river with your family hanging out, laughing, singing joyfully, Like
That's where I'm going with it, right, Like you don't
have to be a freaking CEO of IBM in order
to be worth a damn. Like I think about this
all the time. If I did nothing, the people that
(45:21):
have impacted me the most are the people that have
just bestowed kindness upon me. I remember when I was
down and out depressed. I'm walking down the street in
North Hollywood and this unhoused man starts talking to me.
I didn't know he was on house at the time.
We just start chatting. He's like, how's your day, girl.
I'm like it's not good. I'm like, I have no idea.
We're chatting, but it's not a good day. And he's like,
(45:42):
talk to me sis. And we're sitting here and I'm like,
is this And he's like, you want some of this joint?
Speaker 4 (45:46):
And I'm like, all right, we're smoking a joint.
Speaker 5 (45:48):
And he's like Hey, I got to catch the buzz
because the shelter's closing soon.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
You want to take it with me?
Speaker 5 (45:52):
And I was like, and at that moment, I was like, girls,
shut up, like shut up right now. Like but it's that,
it's like this beautiful hue, Like it's what are we
doing in this space of saying giving hierarchy to one
thing and not the other?
Speaker 3 (46:09):
So now, and as we kind of wrap up our conversation,
do you have there's a young Anna Gonzalaz out there
and she's listening to this podcast and she's like, wow,
she's talking to me. What do you want to say
to her?
Speaker 5 (46:35):
To any young person out there who is struggling to
love themselves, to understand themselves, the fact that you are
asking these questions means you are halfway there. If you
see a big problem, then you also know that a
big solution is coming. There's going to be a lot
of people along the way that are going to vilify
(46:55):
you for the things that come natural to you. My
whole life, people would say you're too much, you're too loud,
you're to this, And now I make a living doing
all these things that people told me were wrong, bad, ugly,
and stupid about me. Turn the things that if people try,
that people have tried to use against you into your superpower.
(47:18):
It's not about being better a better person. I think
it's about being more of an honest person. And the
more that you can accept who you are, the more
than you can become integrated and actualized and have sovereignty
and full self acceptance to go do whatever purpose is
(47:39):
on your heart.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Well, ladies and gentlemen, does any Gonzales in the house
so happy that you can't do to see us and
spend a little time with us? And I hope that
the world continues to discover the beauty that you are.
And I'm just so proud of you, so proud to
have you here, so proud to have you in our lives,
and excited to watch you in the big one and
(48:02):
on the small one too.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Absolutely, yes, no, I'm just so excited.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
So so so grateful to have you here.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
Annie.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
And uh and for those listening, all those producers and
directors listening out there, Annie is hilarious in real life.
I know, I know you've seen her in all these
wonderful dramas. She's killed it. She's proven that she's a
wonderful actress, but she is absolutely hilarious and I one
(48:32):
agree with you. I think you should be doing romantic
comedies as well. Thank you so much for being here.
I am Freddie Rodriguez.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
And not wilmot Rama. Thank you for listening to podcasts.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
YEA is a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael
through That podcast Network, hosted by Me, Freddie Rodriguez, and
Wilmer Valdorama.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
Those Amigos is produced by Cooper Mole and Sophie Spencer Saveles.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Our executive producers are Wilmervaldurama, Freddie Rodriguez, and Leo Clem
at WV Sound.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
This show is mixed and mastered by Sean Tracy and
original music by Madison Devenport and Hala Boy.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the R Heart
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
See you next week.
Hosts And Creators
Wilmer Valderrama
Freddy Rodriguez
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