November 26, 2025 • 50 mins
It's our last episode of 2025 and you already know we had to get in y'alls business once again! In this episode, Khadeen, Devale, Matt, Josh and Tribble answer your questions and give some unhinged advice. Dead Ass.
Watch the full video version early on Patreon! Go to https://Patreon.com/EllisEverAfter to see the After Show and more exclusive Ellis Ever After video content. And find us on social media at @EllisEverAfterPodcast, @khadeeniam and @iamdevale, @joshua_dwain @_matt.ellis, @tribbzthecool. And if you’re listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's been an extremely long, tough year for a lot
of people. Yo, I just really want to say that
I'm thankful for being here.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
That's true, it's been a long year. Indeed, I'm thankful
for a lot of things. God has really showed up
and showed out this year. But what I'm most grateful
for it is listening. Let us was my favorite episode of
the season. So I want to hear what y'all have
going on, because you've been hearing what we got going on. Okay,
dead Ass.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Weiby Award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Be wrang or, but most apportantly be us.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do
we and through it all, one thing has never changed.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
This is ever.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
After because we got a lot to talk about. All right, team,
are getting to these people, Buz.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Well, first we got to do our karaoke. You got
us in karao.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
That nosy.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Going on. She forgot the whole run of the show
I did.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
But this is very special to me because my twins
birthday is tomorrow. No, Kaz Hendrix Ellis, you should have
been the vow Hendrix Ellis. But your mother was a
hater because she said our family was gonna be calling
your junior junior.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
If that's the case, Jackson would have been a junior
from early. Did you guys know that Kaz was actually
Kaz de val Ellis for like the first day of
his life and then it changed. He should have been Yeah,
he should have been cast. We should have stuck with
our late.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
It ain't too late. We're gonna change it back.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Now, devot. I think it changed to Hendricks because he
was born Jimmy Hendrick's birthday, and Hendricks would have been
his name if he was a girl.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yes, kind of.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
His name is kaz O Kokie.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Cas Yo. We love you and this karaoke is for you.
Speaker 6 (02:06):
Happy birthday, to your happy birthday, to your happy birthday,
Happy birthday, to happy birthday too, Happy Birthday.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
One time.
Speaker 7 (02:30):
Birthday, Happy.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
About the Cloud, Happy Birthday, Tony, I'm a friend.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
One more year Day, one vibe, give tak for life.
Next year we're doing it again, my Sagittarius twin, my casie.
I love that kid man. Yeah, you being exactly.
Speaker 7 (03:02):
You are? Boro.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yes, all right, let's say a quick break. We're gonna
get back into listener letters. Come on now, it's like
the never ending storytime for me. We'll be back. All right,
We're back. I was just flipper throday stories.
Speaker 8 (03:22):
It's only a couple, but they are multiple pages. They
are multiple y'all. Really, well, let's just get in there. Okay,
so number one.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Continue, Okay, I see here, this is what we're doing.
All right, Hello, Hello, my favorite podcast team. Blessings upon
all of you. I promise y'all conversations get me through
my everyday life because of how down to earth y'all are,
like we all are cousins. Thank you so much for listening.
I'm writing to you today because I need advice on
if I should write off all my siblings.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I got advice from y'all before on my now ex
wife own is that the thing?
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Sorry about that? Or maybe congrats?
Speaker 7 (04:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
To see how this goes. I got advice from y'all
before on my now ex wife on if I should
give her a time frame before I cut her off
my phone bill and insurance, which worked out great. Actually okay,
oh well it ends well.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
She was already already already divorced. Oh she asked us
if she should cut her off or she's being petty?
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Okay, God, so not the reason for the divorce.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Thank God, because I feel unless the divorce helped you,
and you feel better now than you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Right, It depends teeter on either side. This one hits
closer to home for you all because of how much
you guys do for your parents. I live here in
Atlanta like you, and I have a dad who's seventy
five with glaucoma and diabetes, and a seventy three year
old mom who has high blood pressure in Parkinson's. Yes,
I know that's a lot. So to keep this short.
(04:55):
On December twenty seven, twenty twenty three, which is my
mom's birthday. Oh, my mom's birthday too, well, one of
my two older sisters evicted our parents from one of
her homes that she owns here because they missed one, wow,
one rent payment in two years because my mom got
sick and had to have surgery. What no, bro, now
(05:17):
to evict your mom on her birthday is soulless work, agreed.
My older sister nor my older brother saw anything wrong
with it, which I thought was mind blowing. So all
of us were living in a hotel together for about
three months. Yes, me too, because my marriage ended, so
I had nowhere to go, so I went back home
to get myself together. I got them into senior living
(05:40):
because the hospital social worker helped them out when they
got sick while they were in While we were in
the hotels, I lived in my car for two months
to make sure they had housing until I found housing.
Fast forward to now they're back in the hotel because
the senior housing lost fund and ended, lost funding and ended.
I found it a part that's timidus for me and
(06:01):
cost thirteen fifty a month. But I need a co signer.
Did you know? Did you know how? I asked my
brother for Oh, she said, did you know? I asked
my brother and he said no, because his rent was
too good to mess his credit. Sorry, his credit is
too good to mess up with fooling with them, messing
up fooling with them, that's your parents, my guy, Like,
how dare you rather let them stay in a hotel?
(06:22):
So you good? My two questions? Are Am I wrong
for ending all relationships with all three of my siblings?
I'm missing?
Speaker 9 (06:32):
That was it?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, I continue to bless us constantly with your wisdom. Oh, okay,
we appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I thought she said two questions.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
She did say two questions. That's crazy to me.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay, so it's one question, Yeah, gotcha? Am I wrong
for ending the relationship with all three of my siblings?
Speaker 7 (06:49):
See?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Initially I was like no, But I also know that
there's several sides of stories, and I'm wondering what got
your siblings to this point as to why they feel
like they want to not assist your parents anymore. So
it's hard to answer because I'm answering just based off
of this. Of course, I'm going to be like, girl,
this is ridiculous, knowing how much, of course I love
my parents and would do anything to help. But I
(07:14):
don't know if there's a history here fact that has
forced your brothers and sister or sisters and brother I think,
to now feel the way they feel. Right, they may
be hands off for a reason because and I say
that because in experience dealing with families, sometimes you reach
your max with certain things and it causes you to
have to be hands off because you want people to
(07:35):
try to do for themselves, or you kind of don't
want to be the crutch or the band aid anymore.
So I don't know how to accurately answer this. Anybody
else have any feel the same.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Way or you had what I was thinking about? Maybe
does other information other siblings have about the parents that
she may not be pertinent to, So I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I agree, to be perfectly honest, I think if your
parents are paying rent for two years and they miss
one rent payment, for you to e victim of one
rent payment in two years of pain.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
It's crazy. It is crazy, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
But also we don't know if that's the whole truth,
because that also seems extremely extreme. Right, So when someone
says that they was paying rent for two years in
the miss one payment, they got evicted, if I'm being honest,
mine that that don't sound like the whole story.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
So I can't even give advice on that.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Your brother not wanting to co sign because his credit
is good, I can't be upset in him.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
That sounds like.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Also, yeah, it seemed like there was things happening, and
then she put in quotes, he said, my credit is
too good to be fucking with you but fucking with them,
which means that there's history. Right, So it's gonna sound crazy.
But until we get more context what's going on the family,
it's hard to even give advice about who's wrong here,
Like what do you think?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Because I don't even.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Want to tell her she's wrong. She may't be right
even if she gave all the context. She's like divided,
that's all the context.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Then I got the answer, Yeah, she need a family
caucused to talk about it.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
They need right.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
But we also know how it can get sometimes, like
when you're dealing with family and getting them to not
just siblings but just family in general, with people who
have opposing you know, viewpoints or just can't see, you know,
the detriment that they may be in the family, that
it's hard to you know, reason with people that don't
want to be reasoned with.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I will say this though, I've learned this is that
everybody's ambitions in life are not the same, and your
goals and what you want out of life may not
be in alignment with your sister or your brother, well,
your siblings in general. It's not up to you to
shame them for their goals and ambitions. But it's also
not your job to take care of them if you're
doing things on your own pace. So that's why I
(09:38):
fall with it, like I no longer shame people who
don't want to live like me, you know what I'm saying.
But I'm mostly not going to always make myself readily
available for people when they need me.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
It goes both ways if I you know, if you
don't want to take my advice and help, but you're
only coming for help, I can't always be there, so
sometimes the answer is just going to be Now that's
what I got.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Okay, sounds good to me, all right.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Listen to letter number two.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Hello family, my name is Jamika from Olive Branch and
miss some Mississippi. Yes, I was writing in to give
out a few to give you a few flowers and
share some love.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
We appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
I love each and every one of y'all. My husband
and I have been together since eleventh grade, together twenty
nine years, married twenty eight years, and a twenty seven
year old daughter. Y'all got right to it.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I love that for y'all.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
We can relate to a lot of the similar things
to you all. I've been following y'all for some time now. Kadeen,
you are so full of joy and such a good spirit.
I'm super proud of you and all that you've accomplished.
That's right, baby, Deval, you are so humbling and kind hearted.
I appreciate you. I feel like you all are like
my cousins and are just out of town. But I'm
waiting on the day that I meet up with y'all.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Lol.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
My husband and I were at the live show in Atlanta,
which was awesome, but we're unable to get the VIP tickets.
But hopefully one day we will get a chance to
meet you guys Trouble. You are super funny, silly, and
always have some good research information for us. That's damn
right true. Matt and Josh, y'all are both great at
what you do. Matt, maybe one day I can get
a chance to book you for a fabulous photo shoot. Josh,
(11:03):
I might need some headshots one day as well. The
whole team is just awesome. The Valan Kadeen, your advice
and knowledge has helped me out a lot. Keep reaching
for the sky and beyond love y'all. So this person
just wanted to give love to all of us, which
I appreciate you.
Speaker 7 (11:15):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
It is a team, man, it ain't just me and
Kadeen Man. This team really makes us rock Man, Matt
Josh Trouble.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
We love y'all. I'm glad that the fans finally get
a chance to hear y'all. Bro. This actually makes once
my heart like we like everybody cousins. I love it, y'all.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
It does have you, guys, noticed an influx of people
like in public maybe like even like recognizing you or
your voice or any things since you've been more active
on the podcast.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
I was at a work conference last week and somebody
walked by me and they stopped and they hit like reverse.
It was like, what's your name? But I know, like, yeah,
I know you've in the podcast. I just appreciate them
taking the moment to stop and say something though.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
Yeah, it was good. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (11:54):
Somebody came up to me at this party, uh it
was actually a queer party back in July, and they
were like, did you produce a podcast?
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (12:04):
It was cute.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
She was gorgeous. Okay, No, no, No.
Speaker 7 (12:13):
I don't think I was.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You wasn't in that frame of mine. No, I wasn't
in that. I do want to say, though, like you.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Still haven't found trouble life yet, but you know yet.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
It's been almost a full year of podcasts in this way,
and I do want to say I appreciate y'all, Like
it's not easy. I hope y'all realize now, like when
you go on the podcasts and you give your personal experience,
now people feel like they know you. So you may
be in the world and someone may come, hey, I
remember you know what I'm saying. That's not easy to
open up yourself like that to people in the world.
(12:44):
So we appreciate y'all because I honestly didn't even give
y'all no choice.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I hope you'll know that I just had a vision
of where you said that.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Yeah, I'm really happy to I don't remember the choice.
It was like, this is your seat, that was your choice,
sit here or here?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I said.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
But I think I think the podcast, well I know
now that the podcast needed I knew then, but I
got confirmation that it needed an evolution.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
We had we were in the call for it.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Yeah, the relaunch call for but we were in the
relationship space for about five years and we had grown
out of just talking about relationship issues between kids and
politics and so finance. Yeah, yeah, it just felt good
to have different perspectives. So I appreciate y'all for accepting
the Forced Hiring podcast. I love y'all because it's also
(13:38):
not it's not easy to put your personal thoughts and
business out there into the world. So from everybody else,
but also from me and K, we love y'all.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yo, we appreciate y'all.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Thank you guys for giving us the platform for more
people to know us and what we do.
Speaker 8 (13:50):
Absolutely, and the response has been pretty good for the
most part. Like people will hit me up and be like,
you know, I love to hear your perspective on this podcast.
I love how vulnerable you were on this episode and
not be embarrassed. I want to block them immediately.
Speaker 7 (14:06):
But but I work through it. I do.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Thank you as she smiles too. I love that, so
thank you. I love how you always sneak in up
give them their flowers little story whenever we have listener letters,
So thank you for that, trible and thank you for
writing in All right, let's roll on into number three.
(14:33):
I want to start off by saying how much I
appreciate and love you guys so much. I just started
listening to the podcast in twenty twenty five, but I'm
catching up fast, dope, very good. I wonder what season
you're on, because we're here at seven fifteen. Yeah, all right, seventeen.
Oh my gosh, you guys have already changed my perspective
and husband's perspective on so many things. Please keep doing y'all,
(14:54):
thing we need y'all. I have no real problem, I
guess I'm just I'm twenty six. I have two kids
under two with my husband, who I'm so deeply in
love with. He is also twenty six and we've been
married for four years. On stuff, anyway, I know I'm
young as hell, and I try to remind myself of
that every day, that I have so much to accomplish
(15:16):
and got hell of time. However, it's like I have
a hard time believing that. To be honest, I feel
so lost some times that I get down in the
dumb so deeply. I'm a highly ambitious person who wants
to pretty much do all the things, but I have
two little ones depending on me. And I want to
make the right moves, but all the moves I want
to make just don't seem practical. Question mark. I desperately
(15:39):
want to be an author, and I have published. I
have a published work book on gratitude called Growth, Growth,
Goals and Gratitude, but it didn't make as much noise
as I would have liked to. Anyway, I'm still desperately
wanting to be a writer, but I know writing doesn't
bring much money unless you're like Nora Roberts or something.
(16:00):
I want to be able to take care of my family,
and being a struggling artist is not the route for me.
I come currently getting a certification online to become an
electronic medical assistance sorry medical specialist right. My heart isn't
in the medical field, but I need income to support
my family. However, lately, I've been thinking of becoming a
licensed therapist because I feel like I would be a
(16:21):
good therapist. While doing that, I want to work on
my books, not giving up on my dream, also while
also working to start a podcast. You have a lot
of a lot of things you want to do my
other dream. I know you guys got together very young.
How did you guys keep your eye on the prize
and not sacrifice your dream for stability. A part of
me feels like I lack courage since I have kids.
(16:43):
I feel like I want to do everything as safe
as possible. How do you stay focused on chasing your
dreams regardless of how I'm sure it is, especially when
you have kids. I desperately want my babies to have
a stable household with a stable sorry stable household with
stable income. I don't want a struggle life for them
like I had. Please help us us out, Love you both.
Speaker 8 (17:05):
I just want to say something because she referenced an
author named Nora Roberts, and Nora Roberts has written two
hundred and twenty five novels and she did not become
a best selling author until she wrote her nineteenth novel,
look at That. And so people come to me all
the time when they want to start their podcast. I
do a podcast coaching for new podcasters or people who
(17:27):
have had a podcast, but are you know, want to
like start seeing some results. And people will come to
me with like three or four episodes published and be like, well,
how am I supposed to monetize?
Speaker 7 (17:37):
Well, keep making your podcasts.
Speaker 8 (17:40):
You might see podcasts out here that are successful, and
you think that it just happened overnight because you just
discovered them, and then you go look in their catalog
and they're on episode two twenty five. It takes work,
It takes consistency, It takes a level of commitments, because nothing,
nothing becomes great overnight. Nothing becomes great overnight. No one
(18:01):
is an overnight success, and overnight success usually takes what
ten years.
Speaker 7 (18:05):
Yep, and it could happen faster.
Speaker 8 (18:06):
I feel like social media makes people think that you
can just put post something on the internet, go viral,
and now you're selling a million of your products or whatever.
But it really, really, really takes so much more than that.
The second thing I would say is there's a book
called The Defining Decade.
Speaker 7 (18:22):
I always recommend this book.
Speaker 8 (18:24):
It's called The Defining Decade Why thirty is Not the
New twenty by doctor Meg j And she talks about
something called identity capital, where you may want to do
you know, a whole bunch of different things, but there
are certain skills that each one of those things takes.
And if you focus in on honing in specific skills
(18:46):
that you can then use to like transfer into other careers,
that's what's going to help you the most? So the
Defining Decade by Doctor Meg j If you need more.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Guidance, I agree with Trouble Denzel said it. Without commitment,
you won't start. Without consistency, you won't finish. It's that simple.
You twenty six, Ma, like you are an infant in
this life thing. Like you know at twenty six, we were.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Just like you had to do all the things in
order to juggle right. We said, we didn't want to
be struggling artists either. You were working at the gym,
you know, built out that business. I was working as
a makeup artist at the time because we knew we
had to provide Jackson.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
We had Jackson Jackson. I was doing commercials. I was
a substitute teacher. I was a gym teacher. I was
a color commentary at MSG Varsity.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
You were a sideline reporter. Yeah, you were doing makeup
at the time.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
The whole point is is that you have to be
a fully functioning adult, which means the thing I applauded
the most that you went online and got an electrician certification.
Over the next ten years, the jobs that are going
to make the most money and make the most millionaires
are going to be electricians.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Oh, it's an electronic medical specialist.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
No, yeah, no, no, I know what she said.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
But what I'm saying is that she found found something
that can help bring revenue in.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
And what I'm saying is is that the arts may
be what you love. You may want to.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Write books and stuff like that, but right now you
have to do what you have to do for your family.
I always wanted to act, and in two thousand and
nine I had no acting gigs, so I became a trainer,
got my degrees in certifications and exercise physiology and kinesiology.
But even then I started making ten dollars an hour,
and then I had to build for four years till
(20:26):
I started making legitimate money to cover my family. I'm
saying that to say is that the journey is just starting.
You're not gonna be able to fix all of that tomorrow.
Like you're gonna listen to this, and hopefully when you
listen to this, I don't want you to take this
and say, oh, it's a long, hard journey. Nah, you
got your husband, you got your kids. Enjoy it while
you're on the journey. Because while we were building everything,
(20:46):
me and Kadi was still having a good time, chilling
with our friends, enjoying life with our family.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
So understand the balance that goes with the journey, right.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I mean it did require a sacrificial period though, Like
we had five years where we were like, we're not
going to be doing you know, the ex taking the trips,
buying the material things. We were just like, let's hunker down,
keep our eye on the prize and work. And now
what we're dealing with is, now that we've seen a
lot of those dreams come to fruition, it's having to
(21:15):
slow down a bit here in our forties to say,
let's enjoy the fruits of our labor, let's take the downtime,
let's enjoy being at home. So it'll shift for you.
But I love that you have a list of things
that you want to do. I believe you'll be able
to do them all.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I will add this to sometimes it's cyclical because me
and Kadeen also had to go into a sacrificial period
this year again as we branch into a new business
and capital is still flowing, but it's like I need
some of that capital to invest in another business. So
Kadeen and I were like yo. You know, vacations for
the last four months. You know, we haven't bought anything
(21:49):
for each other. Like these sacrificial periods happen in life.
That don't mean that you're stuck. That doesn't mean that
you're stagnant. That just means that you.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Have to pivot a little bit. For me or struggling
or struggle the struggle life doesn't mean that you're struggling.
It's just a growth period. And growth only comes when
you're uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
So just get used to being uncomfortable so that you
can grow and continue growing to be the person you
want to be.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
It's stuff. Good luck to you, says the right truck.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Absolutely, just to figure out what.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I want to be. Proud of yourself, you know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
You accomplishing things absolutely, absolutely. All right, let's take a break.
I know this next one I looked at here is
a long one, so.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
It's too easy.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I'll be giving you the shot.
Speaker 7 (22:38):
All right.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
So let's take a break and we're going to pay
some bills and come back with the rest of our
listening letters.
Speaker 10 (22:42):
Stick around, all right, let's get money.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
We are back. This is the long one that was
talking to Number four number four.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Hey a Detroit girly, what up though? Looking for some help?
I love y'all so much. We love you to sign
one Valenkadeen clock in and come to Detroit to show
us some love.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
We do have to get. I know Chicago was great
to us. I love Chicago, A good show.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Excuse me, Detroit. I remember that snow snows. We literally
got to Detroit on the day. As we were driving
in the snow was coming down. And having lived in
the Detroit area we lived in Canton for a little bit,
we were like, oh, no, people are not going to
come out, and then we remember quickly like this is
what everyone's accustomed to in Michigan. Like y'all know snow,
(23:41):
y'all moving snow and it was a packed how it
was packed lake effects.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
No, okay, let's get money here.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Y'all have been in inspiration to us singles in our twenties,
trying to figure things out as y'all got started so
young and unexpectedly and have made a beautiful life. In
my case, I have known this guy literally since birth.
We are both twenty three. My moms have been best
friends forever. My mom and her bestie that way my
mom and her bestie had us both two days apart.
While that's crazy, we've grown up together, and of course
(24:09):
everyone's fairy tale was us ending up together. Of course
it was my mom's birthday and his mom's birthday is
a day apart two? And what are the yards? Two
people they don't even like each other. All of this
came together and they like we like each other. I
do it is watch my mom's birthday and his mom's
a day apart two and what are the yards? Two
people with the day apart in birthdays have babies that
are born within four d eight hours of each other
(24:29):
at the same hospital, in the same here.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Jesus is a movie. This is a movie.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Tyler Prairie wrote, he can be a sweetheart and has
goals and business plans that can be sustainable with the
right amount of work and discipline. He has great qualities,
but there are some things that can be hard to
look past. I know he is inexperienced with having relationships,
as most of his relationships were women using him for
money or just to have someone to hang on to
while pursuing other things. Because he is a man of
(24:55):
God that will support you, pray for you and motivate you,
essentially being used. My thing is he has a horrible
temper at times. I know he's been through a lot
with his upbringing, but who the hell fault is that?
Speaker 3 (25:07):
I know?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I shouldn't be receiving an anger and backlash for things
he hasn't dealt with or healed from. That is facts,
and he's admitted to taking the anger out on me before.
But Negro, we both from the city. Don't raise your
voice in me because I'm gonna come back on ten
as well. And we're now we're getting nowhere and just yelling. Also,
he's had an issue with me liking women and has
(25:28):
signs of homophobia all around.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Remember that could.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Be something from you toog What are you doing? Remember
we've known each other forever, so why is this an issue?
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Now? You've known this, So why's your interest if that's
something you disagree with.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Also, he's not the sharpest tourist. It seems like they
wanted her to like him, so they were paying forced him.
And that's what it seems like this time, where I
feel as if I'm talking to a child. And I
hate to say that, but it's how watch you I
feel I have to explain everything, even things that seem
(26:03):
to be common sense. I try to be patient, knowing
his background, but it can be difficult to hold conversations.
I know I keep going, but I know I keep going.
But yeah, we're also not sexually compatible, like at all? Yeah,
because you like women. I've talked to him about it,
but again, I know he's inexperience in some areas and
the size he's working with doesn't help.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
She don't like.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Him, don't like him.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Lastly, and it is a lastly, Remember what I said.
Our parents are besties, and every time we get into it,
he tells his mom and other related relatives every detail
and text constantly, and it is sometimes texts that are
completely inappropriate of just my personal business and has some
of his family looking at me crazy, super embarrassed. I've
told him how that this is such an invasion of
(26:56):
privacy and honestly extremely childish. He said he was going
to stop, but honest but hasn't. My question is how
do I deal with the person? You don't deal with
a person feel is not mature enough for a relationship
yet saying he's all in but it's making no changes.
How do I communicate things these things that are bothering
me without causing a screaming match and make him feel
less than a man. Lastly, how to make sure things
(27:19):
stay okay between both parents? That to me seems like
the whole focus.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Deal with this because of the moms.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yes, or go find you, go find your king, because
he ain't it.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
She said, I would hate for things to get toxic
between parents due to all the gossip our my business
he keeps spreading and this is not their battle and
never should have reached their ears in the first place.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Agreed, thank you.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
And appreciate y'all. There's a lot of can we just
save her though, like.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Just go go somewhere, man, That's.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
The first thing I agree gat Josh.
Speaker 9 (27:53):
I think they're just not compatible. He's dealing with things
that he needs therapy on, like he needs to deal
with his anger separately. He might have a Napoleon complex
because whatever she means.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
That I mean.
Speaker 9 (28:10):
But when you think about all the things that she
all the pillars of incompallity that she mentioned, I think
it's easy to make that choice to say to step away.
The difficult part is that my mom and your mom
are best friends and we're sort of interweaved in our relationship.
They've probably been hearing their whole life. By yo, you're
gonna marry this girl, like your whole life.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
But that's more.
Speaker 9 (28:32):
That's more her god brother than her her husband. You
know what I'm saying, Like that's more like her cousin
than somebody who she's gonna get married.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I'm gonna tell you what it is. She's gay. No,
she didn't listen.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
She's gay. She likes women. She said that she's.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Conditioned to want to like him because both families have
been saying this could be, y'all could be.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
So she's conditioned and trying to set us.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
But she don't like all the things that she's pointed
out she doesn't like. If she was never condition to
feel like she had to like him, she Joe probably
would have just been No, she would have.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
She probably would have been with a woman. That's what
I think.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
I think that she's not getting a chance to live
in her truth because she doesn't want the people around
her to not feel bad. That's what Because even she
talked about the homophobia, you see all the things she
wrote in here is kind of letting us know how.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
She really feels. She doesn't get the chance to live.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
For truth, it has nothing to do with him and
his abilities to not be what she needs from him.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
He's not what she wants period. She also don't get
a chance to live who she wants to be.
Speaker 7 (29:32):
Nice too.
Speaker 8 (29:33):
What Josh said like about her making the choice to leave,
I feel like that's the key word is choice. Like
she's only twenty three. As young women, we are not
conditioned to choose who we want to be with. We're
conditioned to be chosen and every all of us are
conditioned to think that love is some magical thing that
just happens to you, not that something you know that
you get to make with somebody else. So one, I
(29:55):
feel like she feels like, oh, because we have all
of this magic between us, we were born two days apart,
our moms, a best friends, there must be some type
of like magic, yeah, magical love connection between us, so
that I have to give it a chance. But then
also that's taking away her choice, that's taking away the
fact that she gets to choose who she wants to
be with. So I feel like she gotta choose. She
(30:17):
has to be in the mindset of choosing. Is this
the kind of person that you want to be with
and the clear answer is hell, yeah, the no, you
get to make the choice. The choice has not been
made for you.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
I think that tough conversation needs to be had between
the moms you know, and them, since he's already dragging
the mothers into it. At this point. It's just like, hey,
I know what you guys may have thought this was
going to pan out to be, because you guys are
essentially conditioning us our entire lives to be husband and wife.
But it's just not there. The connection isn't there, And
I think the parents would have to understand, like, if
(30:50):
neither of one of the it doesn't seem like he's
happy either, neither one of them want to be happy,
then what's the point.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
They're twenty three, right, Yeah, that's really yeah. I don't
know why it has to be like, it's not like
they forty three, But even if he was forty three
in that moment.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Absolutely, this is the arranged marriage that we don't want work.
Speaker 8 (31:10):
It don't mean that he can never improve or get
better or become the kind of person that she may
be compatible with. It just means that he's not there
right now and she don't have to be there while
he grows out.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Yeah, but he grows into it.
Speaker 7 (31:24):
Yeah, she put the joint of like this.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
There was an emoji for that.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Well, yeah, people have been using it as like the
clockt emoji. But we knew what she meant when she
did this.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Yeah. Yeah, here's my thing too though. Right she said
that he has anger issues.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I'm really interested in understanding, Like, well, I want to
know what their dynamic is because they didn't mention any fathers.
So the mom's the best friend said, She said, he knows,
she knows how he grew up.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Right, and he didn't deal with certain stuff.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
And he calls and text homophobia.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Is he gay? Is you somethime? They say, men who
are like undercover or download or whatever, they.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Could be a man.
Speaker 7 (32:10):
And security.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
If there's no if there's no man in the house,
it's like the insecurity that he has to be more manly.
And then now this is the girl that I'm supposed
to be with and she likes girls.
Speaker 8 (32:19):
And I'm not enough, and he don't know how to
be a man. That's probably why he's blowing.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Out, blowing up.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
That's why I'm saying, there's a lot to unpack.
Speaker 9 (32:26):
You run into your moms to tell her every little
thing that happens in your relationship that's a problem.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
See, that's and to me, that's why I said, there's
a whole lot to unpack them if there's no fathers
around for him to learn how to be a man
or how to deal with his own issues. Because that's
my biggest thing with Jackson and them. It's like, listen,
if you have some issues, the first thing you have
to do first is figure out how you can deal
with it on your own. Don't run to me and
your mom. I get that you fourteen, but try to
(32:51):
figure it out first. And if you can't figure it out,
then come to us and we'll try to assist you.
But for him to constantly run to not only the mom,
but the whole family to tell them what's going on
with them too crazy that you can tell he has
some issues going on and he's angry all the time.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
And she said, lastly, how do I make sure things
stay okay between both parents?
Speaker 3 (33:12):
You see what her focus? Your focus is everybody else
right now?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Sir?
Speaker 7 (33:16):
Yeah, what do you want?
Speaker 8 (33:18):
That's the main question, and it clearly is not this
nigga she sucks. Oh, my god, you see him every time,
that's all you think about, Like, oh, nigga, you're so dumb, yo,
dick little you. Oh my god, you're always yelling. You
got an attitude, broble like a bitch.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
You know, got common sense, Like there's a lot of
things here.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
That that's crazy. It's crazy. She got to explain every
single thing to him that.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Is crazy, like mama's boiling.
Speaker 7 (33:44):
Yeah, and that's what it's your cousin. Yeah, yeah, right,
But imagine.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Are they in a relationship, in a full relationship? Are
they just kind of like she.
Speaker 8 (33:55):
Didn't really say, but it sounds I'm looking for That's
what I'm looking I'm like, it don't seem like or.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Is it just something like they know each other so
they moved kind of like there's.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
No title between them.
Speaker 7 (34:04):
It don't seem to be.
Speaker 8 (34:06):
She didn't explicitly say that, say that they yeah, but
it seems like they've been dealing with each other for
a little minute.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
It said that she she said that she likes women.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, problem he's upset about her past.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
She said, I'm about to because I'm trying to see
if I'm missing something because it just it also doesn't
seem like there was an established.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
Like, hey, we're boyfriend and girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
It seems like they were just all the families was like,
y'all would be good together, and they grew up together.
So everybody just automatically assumed that they were going to
go from holding hands at two and being friends to
just being together.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
But no real conversations was had between them two. You
know what I'm saying, It's.
Speaker 5 (34:44):
No wrong with trying to see if it works, but
it don't work.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
So she said he has some great qualities and then
just completely destroyed him.
Speaker 7 (34:54):
She didn't, not a single one.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
But she said can be a sweetheart. He has goals
and business plans that can be sustainable with the right
working discipline. So I mean, I guess because they're still
in their twenties, they're still building.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
I think this is also something because we don't know
if his father is there or not there. But I
do think that it's very important for men to understand
between the ages of fifteen and like twenty five.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
It is very important for us as we developed into men.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Right when you don't have a purpose and you don't
have guidance, you get lost and it's fearful. I remember
asking Jackson, remember when we had the five minute conversation,
And this doesn't have much to do with her, but
it just made me think about it, and I said, Jacks, man,
what's going on with life? He said, You're scary and
I kind of paused for a minute. I was like, well,
(35:44):
what's scary about it? He was just like, man, everybody
tells you is a man. You gotta do this, you
gotta do this, you gotta do this.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And I'm saying to myself, Dad, Jacks, you have a
father here who is trying to guide you and help
you when it's still scary. Imagine being a young boy
who don't have a far to kind of guide.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Him to help them.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Imagine how scary that is and how that causes anger,
because now you have to like, you know, you're trying
to protect the fear, but you can't show fear because
one thing they will tell you is man up.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
What does that even mean? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
And it sounds like this young brother is surrounded with women,
he said, both moms then her. It's like man up,
man up being a man if there's no one there
to tell him he's going to have these temperate issues.
Speaker 8 (36:25):
And that's so interesting because I feel like young boys
and young girls they start thinking about what it's like
to be a man when they're going through puberty. Yeah,
and that's when all your hormones are spiking, and that's
when your mood swings are happening. And then you get
stuck one way or another, depending on what language you've
learned works. If you're living in a house with a woman,
you might be able to yell at her and get
(36:46):
an attitude and get away with something. It might be
bigger than her, now you know, So now that's how
you're communicating with everybody.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
That was my prototype kids like Verbatim Trouble once they
got through puberty and they was taller than their moms
and they got a little mother.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
So I've seen how they changed.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
And then that's when I said, I watched the moms
get more defensive and aggressive because they're like, you're not
going to be in my house acting, And then the
boys get more defensive and aggressive. Now that young man
grows up and now all he knows how to do
is be defensive and aggressive. And now you're being defensive
and aggressive to someone else's daughter, and that's what she said,
like negro, like, don't bring that towards me. But it
(37:23):
sounds literally what you said. It sounds like what he's
going through. I hope he's able to find some help
because maybe if he did find that help, he would
be a better partner. But in those other ways he
still can't. Not sure you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yeah, maybe she needs to convince him to have the
conversation with a therapist or something he hasn't dealt with
or healed from and admitted to taking his anger out
so he knows he has a problem. Maybe he needs
to deal with that first. And girl, you might be
able to help him to find his wife. You know
what I'm saying. You're helping him through this process as
a friend because your mom's are friends. You guys are
(37:55):
like family. Essentially, it gives when mother's the best friends.
You may to help him through this face.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
That's what what you just said.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
I think is an answer if she helps him get
through the phase right, but also helps him find his wife.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
The toxicity between the.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Moms because now you now you and your sister. Ultimately
she was she would be like the best man at
his wedding. You know what I'm saying, You've seen things
like that was like this my homegirl, she's my best friend.
She might like I could see the moms still being
able to be best friends and stuff if they have
that partnership, Like the partnership doesn't have to.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Be and to be romantic romantic, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
Yea, hopefully help you know, hopefully that.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Helps you can move on and find your husband or.
Speaker 7 (38:39):
Wife and don't always have to be toxic either.
Speaker 8 (38:42):
To try to break up amicably, give each other some
space and time to get over the love. And you
don't got to go telling his mom, well, he ain't sure,
he's an idiot.
Speaker 7 (38:53):
You know, his mom don't need to hear.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
It's not the sharpest tool in the toolbox.
Speaker 7 (38:58):
But just even your mom don't need to hear everything either.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
And I'll be honest, if we break up, it's gonna
be toxic as a motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
I'm calling me me and I'm telling me everything you
see me me me. If we break up, I'm telling
you everything you do.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Who's going anywhere?
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Like the whole time, I'm like pop, you know me?
Speaker 7 (39:22):
Pop?
Speaker 2 (39:24):
It was patting her home on the whole time.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Y'all think y'all could be amorable with your wives if
y'all broke up?
Speaker 4 (39:30):
Can I?
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Yeah, I can?
Speaker 3 (39:33):
You can be amicable with yes?
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Are you said? Why did you trust?
Speaker 4 (39:36):
The eye?
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Said the eye? And the pair? It was not.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
I don't even want to get to that point.
Speaker 8 (39:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:43):
I don't want to entertain the thought because I know
I'm a petty person when I get rid of Yeah,
and it's gonna get real bad.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Triple Are you an amicable person when you break up?
Before I rip.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
You were like, I ain't even gonna lie to So
you're not in communication with any of your exes.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
At this point?
Speaker 4 (40:07):
No?
Speaker 7 (40:08):
I think, well maybe a little bit, but I wouldn't
say we're friends. I did.
Speaker 8 (40:12):
Just one of my exes asked me if I wanted
to be friends, and I said no recently.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
I love Triple.
Speaker 8 (40:19):
Reason, Yeah I did. If we're supposed to be friends,
we would be friends. I'm I'm so much better with
breakups now, Like you don't want to be breaking up,
I'm gonna leave you alone.
Speaker 7 (40:30):
I'm not about to argue with you. I'm not about
to do nothing but that just around the breakup.
Speaker 8 (40:36):
If we're still communicating, I would advise you to cut
me off because it's gonna get ugly.
Speaker 7 (40:41):
It's gonna be real ugly.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
That's fair. That's fair.
Speaker 7 (40:48):
Absolutely.
Speaker 8 (40:49):
I can try my hardest to be nice and and friendly,
but I'm going to be a bitch.
Speaker 7 (40:56):
It's gonna happen.
Speaker 5 (40:57):
If we get to that point. I'm not gonna be
nice because I tried everything, so.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Yeah to me, we break up, you see the biggest
bitch come out on God, I'll be.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Like, finally, I always knew there was a bitch in there.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
You made me this way, I gave you everything, that
gave you the best year is about life.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
But hopefully that helps. Seriously, hopefully don't be petty with
your man, bro. He got other things you gotta worry about.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
All right, Like that wraps us up for today's listen
to other episode. I hope that was helpful. I always
envision when people listen to the listener letter episodes if
y'all like chime in on the conversation and like, yeah,
I wonder what advice other people would give once they
hear the story. That would be pretty interesting. That would
be pretty interesting. And getting follow ups. I like the
follow up, like we had one person say that gave
(41:54):
them good advice before, So if you have any follow
up stories, we'll take those two like did it work out?
Did not work out? Did you take our advice? Did
it not work like? I'd be interested to know, like
how how things pan out for you guys after you
write in for listen letters. So continue to write in,
continue to ask questions, continue to give us the whole story,
and we'll continue to listen and give you, guys our
(42:14):
two cents. If you want to be featured as a
listener letter on Elis ever after, be sure to email
us at the Ellis Advice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
That's t H E E L L I S A
d V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
All Right, moment of truth time. I guess it could
be something in general you want to say. It can
be about something we spoke about in one of the
listener letters. Anybody have a moment of truth they want
to share?
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Mineus is simple, like these are all conversations. That's exactly
what you know. Like, the the older I get, the
more we do this podcast, there is no listener letter,
there's no situation, there's no moment in time.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Or life where you can't find a resolution.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
If you openly be honest with the people that you
love and don't be defensive about the things they're going
to tell you, that can help you because they love
you as well.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Conversations can heal everything. As long as you have an
open mind and an open.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Heart, that's good. I'm gonna piggyback on that to say,
in addition to having an open mind and heart, it's
also equally important to have accountability, which is a lot
of things people have problems with. That's something I had
to work through because I was always in pursuit of
being this perfect wife, perfect mom, perfect daughter, perfect friend.
And as soon as I kind of let that go
(43:26):
and was willing to accept when people saw either something
in me or had an interaction with me, or something
I may have said or done that didn't land the
way I may have intended it. You know, we were talking
about impact versus intent. I was able to then look
at myself with a different lens and say, wow, I
didn't know this is how I may have come across
(43:47):
or I could have handled that better. And taking accountability
is really important because I think it's one of the
first steps to acknowledging how somebody else feels and saying
I didn't intend for you to feel this way, but
I acknowledge how you feel. I understand how you feel,
and here's how I'm going to try to move forward.
So that's something that's helped me in conversations and interactions
(44:08):
more recently with people.
Speaker 8 (44:11):
That's what's up mine would be get comfortable choosing, especially
in love and relationships.
Speaker 7 (44:15):
You get to choose who you have in your life
and how you have them in your life.
Speaker 8 (44:19):
Don't always feel like you know there's some magical a
situation that's just going to arise, or that you have
to give something a chance. You don't you get to.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Choose that's dope, or don't wait to be chosen, right exactly.
Speaker 7 (44:33):
Don't wait to be chosen.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Then that spoke to me a little bit, especial when
we're talking about family stuff, because sometimes it's not about
choosing who's your family, but choosing how you show up
for your family. You do have a choice, yes, and
that goes back to the first listening letter, right, It's
like you get to choose how you show up for
your family, and you get to choose to protect your peace.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
So that choosing is a good point. I didn't even think.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
About that in terms of that, but when you said that,
it made me think about the family.
Speaker 5 (44:58):
Everyone sounds to a profound it same moral. Have these conversations.
Mm hmmm, he's gonna say the same thing you see
here looking on his face, he got nothing.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
I like your hat about to say, Josh over there
looking swagged out today?
Speaker 3 (45:13):
Yo, I got it?
Speaker 4 (45:16):
What's up?
Speaker 1 (45:19):
You see the effort you put into the outfit. I
need to see that every episode.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Now you got but I don't. Don't it look don't
right now looks a little bit.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
It looks curated.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
It looks curated like I don't even.
Speaker 7 (45:35):
Think this is a serious thing right now?
Speaker 4 (45:37):
Are you serious?
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (45:38):
I got pictures of social media. We're wearing the same glasses.
I like the glasses to Chris got the same parid
but you know the glasses they had you look like
a B boy from the eighties. You do is a
look as a vibe though, as long as be doing
stand up.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Paddle back.
Speaker 9 (45:59):
In his forty talking about pause, Oh my god, I
don't have a moment of truth.
Speaker 8 (46:06):
Man.
Speaker 9 (46:07):
It's the holiday season, okay, and you got airings on
sales that party, y'all know his inventory right now to
bring you some amazing stuff, so you definitely get the
stuff that's gonna sell right now.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
That's dope. Yeah, you know, I'm there a one lion
all air NB all day, all right, and we love y'all.
Thank you, Thank you for for always continuing to rock
with us through growth, through the changes. Here we are
seventeen seasons in and so many of you have been
on this journey with us, and we always laugh about
how we may have sounded, you know, season one and two,
(46:44):
but if anything, we hope that it's a testament for
you guys to see that it's it's possible through diligent
conversations and being intentional and loving each other and having
fun through the process. That the years will fly by
and when you look back there'll be great memories made
and that much more love. So we love y'all, Thank you,
(47:08):
and be sure to find us on Patreon. Patreon. Gang,
we give you an extra special thank you because you
guys are really the core of our support and we
don't take that lightly or for granted, So thank y'all
so much. On Patreon, you see the after show as
well as more exclusive Ellis family content and you can
find us on social media at el sever After. We're
(47:28):
on Instagram and TikTok and then I'm at Kadine I am.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
I am Devan on all platforms, I'm underscore Mack dot
Ellis and i am Airing Underscore MB.
Speaker 7 (47:41):
I'm the Cool t R I B b Z then
cool on everything.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
And if you listen to post, sure to rate, review,
subscribe and you see josh give them a huge orange glasses.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
At dead ass y'all.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
We love you yo, and happy Turkey Day. Make sure
you give thanks and love on your family.
Speaker 7 (48:05):
Gobble Thanksgiving, you.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
Said, Gobble, Gobble. That's what I'm gonna be.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Thankful, and I'm gonna be wobbling wabbling.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
You're wobble and gobble god.
Speaker 8 (48:16):
Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, Production
by Joshua Dwyane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Leshan
Roe
Speaker 6 (50:04):
Tuk Tuks
It's been an extremely long, tough year for a lot
of people. Yo, I just really want to say that
I'm thankful for being here.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
That's true, it's been a long year. Indeed, I'm thankful
for a lot of things. God has really showed up
and showed out this year. But what I'm most grateful
for it is listening. Let us was my favorite episode of
the season. So I want to hear what y'all have
going on, because you've been hearing what we got going on. Okay,
dead Ass.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Weiby Award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Be wrang or, but most apportantly be us.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do
we and through it all, one thing has never changed.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
This is ever.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
After because we got a lot to talk about. All right, team,
are getting to these people, Buz.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Well, first we got to do our karaoke. You got
us in karao.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
That nosy.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Going on. She forgot the whole run of the show
I did.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
But this is very special to me because my twins
birthday is tomorrow. No, Kaz Hendrix Ellis, you should have
been the vow Hendrix Ellis. But your mother was a
hater because she said our family was gonna be calling
your junior junior.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
If that's the case, Jackson would have been a junior
from early. Did you guys know that Kaz was actually
Kaz de val Ellis for like the first day of
his life and then it changed. He should have been Yeah,
he should have been cast. We should have stuck with
our late.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
It ain't too late. We're gonna change it back.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Now, devot. I think it changed to Hendricks because he
was born Jimmy Hendrick's birthday, and Hendricks would have been
his name if he was a girl.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yes, kind of.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
His name is kaz O Kokie.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Cas Yo. We love you and this karaoke is for you.
Speaker 6 (02:06):
Happy birthday, to your happy birthday, to your happy birthday,
Happy birthday, to happy birthday too, Happy Birthday.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
One time.
Speaker 7 (02:30):
Birthday, Happy.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
About the Cloud, Happy Birthday, Tony, I'm a friend.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
One more year Day, one vibe, give tak for life.
Next year we're doing it again, my Sagittarius twin, my casie.
I love that kid man. Yeah, you being exactly.
Speaker 7 (03:02):
You are? Boro.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yes, all right, let's say a quick break. We're gonna
get back into listener letters. Come on now, it's like
the never ending storytime for me. We'll be back. All right,
We're back. I was just flipper throday stories.
Speaker 8 (03:22):
It's only a couple, but they are multiple pages. They
are multiple y'all. Really, well, let's just get in there. Okay,
so number one.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Continue, Okay, I see here, this is what we're doing.
All right, Hello, Hello, my favorite podcast team. Blessings upon
all of you. I promise y'all conversations get me through
my everyday life because of how down to earth y'all are,
like we all are cousins. Thank you so much for listening.
I'm writing to you today because I need advice on
if I should write off all my siblings.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I got advice from y'all before on my now ex
wife own is that the thing?
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Sorry about that? Or maybe congrats?
Speaker 7 (04:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
To see how this goes. I got advice from y'all
before on my now ex wife on if I should
give her a time frame before I cut her off
my phone bill and insurance, which worked out great. Actually okay,
oh well it ends well.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
She was already already already divorced. Oh she asked us
if she should cut her off or she's being petty?
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Okay, God, so not the reason for the divorce.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Thank God, because I feel unless the divorce helped you,
and you feel better now than you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Right, It depends teeter on either side. This one hits
closer to home for you all because of how much
you guys do for your parents. I live here in
Atlanta like you, and I have a dad who's seventy
five with glaucoma and diabetes, and a seventy three year
old mom who has high blood pressure in Parkinson's. Yes,
I know that's a lot. So to keep this short.
(04:55):
On December twenty seven, twenty twenty three, which is my
mom's birthday. Oh, my mom's birthday too, well, one of
my two older sisters evicted our parents from one of
her homes that she owns here because they missed one, wow,
one rent payment in two years because my mom got
sick and had to have surgery. What no, bro, now
(05:17):
to evict your mom on her birthday is soulless work, agreed.
My older sister nor my older brother saw anything wrong
with it, which I thought was mind blowing. So all
of us were living in a hotel together for about
three months. Yes, me too, because my marriage ended, so
I had nowhere to go, so I went back home
to get myself together. I got them into senior living
(05:40):
because the hospital social worker helped them out when they
got sick while they were in While we were in
the hotels, I lived in my car for two months
to make sure they had housing until I found housing.
Fast forward to now they're back in the hotel because
the senior housing lost fund and ended, lost funding and ended.
I found it a part that's timidus for me and
(06:01):
cost thirteen fifty a month. But I need a co signer.
Did you know? Did you know how? I asked my
brother for Oh, she said, did you know? I asked
my brother and he said no, because his rent was
too good to mess his credit. Sorry, his credit is
too good to mess up with fooling with them, messing
up fooling with them, that's your parents, my guy, Like,
how dare you rather let them stay in a hotel?
(06:22):
So you good? My two questions? Are Am I wrong
for ending all relationships with all three of my siblings?
I'm missing?
Speaker 9 (06:32):
That was it?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, I continue to bless us constantly with your wisdom. Oh, okay,
we appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I thought she said two questions.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
She did say two questions. That's crazy to me.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay, so it's one question, Yeah, gotcha? Am I wrong
for ending the relationship with all three of my siblings?
Speaker 7 (06:49):
See?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Initially I was like no, But I also know that
there's several sides of stories, and I'm wondering what got
your siblings to this point as to why they feel
like they want to not assist your parents anymore. So
it's hard to answer because I'm answering just based off
of this. Of course, I'm going to be like, girl,
this is ridiculous, knowing how much, of course I love
my parents and would do anything to help. But I
(07:14):
don't know if there's a history here fact that has
forced your brothers and sister or sisters and brother I think,
to now feel the way they feel. Right, they may
be hands off for a reason because and I say
that because in experience dealing with families, sometimes you reach
your max with certain things and it causes you to
have to be hands off because you want people to
(07:35):
try to do for themselves, or you kind of don't
want to be the crutch or the band aid anymore.
So I don't know how to accurately answer this. Anybody
else have any feel the same.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Way or you had what I was thinking about? Maybe
does other information other siblings have about the parents that
she may not be pertinent to, So I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I agree, to be perfectly honest, I think if your
parents are paying rent for two years and they miss
one rent payment, for you to e victim of one
rent payment in two years of pain.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
It's crazy. It is crazy, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
But also we don't know if that's the whole truth,
because that also seems extremely extreme. Right, So when someone
says that they was paying rent for two years in
the miss one payment, they got evicted, if I'm being honest,
mine that that don't sound like the whole story.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
So I can't even give advice on that.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Your brother not wanting to co sign because his credit
is good, I can't be upset in him.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
That sounds like.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Also, yeah, it seemed like there was things happening, and
then she put in quotes, he said, my credit is
too good to be fucking with you but fucking with them,
which means that there's history. Right, So it's gonna sound crazy.
But until we get more context what's going on the family,
it's hard to even give advice about who's wrong here,
Like what do you think?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Because I don't even.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Want to tell her she's wrong. She may't be right
even if she gave all the context. She's like divided,
that's all the context.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Then I got the answer, Yeah, she need a family
caucused to talk about it.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
They need right.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
But we also know how it can get sometimes, like
when you're dealing with family and getting them to not
just siblings but just family in general, with people who
have opposing you know, viewpoints or just can't see, you know,
the detriment that they may be in the family, that
it's hard to you know, reason with people that don't
want to be reasoned with.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I will say this though, I've learned this is that
everybody's ambitions in life are not the same, and your
goals and what you want out of life may not
be in alignment with your sister or your brother, well,
your siblings in general. It's not up to you to
shame them for their goals and ambitions. But it's also
not your job to take care of them if you're
doing things on your own pace. So that's why I
(09:38):
fall with it, like I no longer shame people who
don't want to live like me, you know what I'm saying.
But I'm mostly not going to always make myself readily
available for people when they need me.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
It goes both ways if I you know, if you
don't want to take my advice and help, but you're
only coming for help, I can't always be there, so
sometimes the answer is just going to be Now that's
what I got.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Okay, sounds good to me, all right.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Listen to letter number two.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Hello family, my name is Jamika from Olive Branch and
miss some Mississippi. Yes, I was writing in to give
out a few to give you a few flowers and
share some love.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
We appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
I love each and every one of y'all. My husband
and I have been together since eleventh grade, together twenty
nine years, married twenty eight years, and a twenty seven
year old daughter. Y'all got right to it.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I love that for y'all.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
We can relate to a lot of the similar things
to you all. I've been following y'all for some time now. Kadeen,
you are so full of joy and such a good spirit.
I'm super proud of you and all that you've accomplished.
That's right, baby, Deval, you are so humbling and kind hearted.
I appreciate you. I feel like you all are like
my cousins and are just out of town. But I'm
waiting on the day that I meet up with y'all.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Lol.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
My husband and I were at the live show in Atlanta,
which was awesome, but we're unable to get the VIP tickets.
But hopefully one day we will get a chance to
meet you guys Trouble. You are super funny, silly, and
always have some good research information for us. That's damn
right true. Matt and Josh, y'all are both great at
what you do. Matt, maybe one day I can get
a chance to book you for a fabulous photo shoot. Josh,
(11:03):
I might need some headshots one day as well. The
whole team is just awesome. The Valan Kadeen, your advice
and knowledge has helped me out a lot. Keep reaching
for the sky and beyond love y'all. So this person
just wanted to give love to all of us, which
I appreciate you.
Speaker 7 (11:15):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
It is a team, man, it ain't just me and
Kadeen Man. This team really makes us rock Man, Matt
Josh Trouble.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
We love y'all. I'm glad that the fans finally get
a chance to hear y'all. Bro. This actually makes once
my heart like we like everybody cousins. I love it, y'all.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
It does have you, guys, noticed an influx of people
like in public maybe like even like recognizing you or
your voice or any things since you've been more active
on the podcast.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
I was at a work conference last week and somebody
walked by me and they stopped and they hit like reverse.
It was like, what's your name? But I know, like, yeah,
I know you've in the podcast. I just appreciate them
taking the moment to stop and say something though.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
Yeah, it was good. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (11:54):
Somebody came up to me at this party, uh it
was actually a queer party back in July, and they
were like, did you produce a podcast?
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (12:04):
It was cute.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
She was gorgeous. Okay, No, no, No.
Speaker 7 (12:13):
I don't think I was.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You wasn't in that frame of mine. No, I wasn't
in that. I do want to say, though, like you.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Still haven't found trouble life yet, but you know yet.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
It's been almost a full year of podcasts in this way,
and I do want to say I appreciate y'all, Like
it's not easy. I hope y'all realize now, like when
you go on the podcasts and you give your personal experience,
now people feel like they know you. So you may
be in the world and someone may come, hey, I
remember you know what I'm saying. That's not easy to
open up yourself like that to people in the world.
(12:44):
So we appreciate y'all because I honestly didn't even give
y'all no choice.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I hope you'll know that I just had a vision
of where you said that.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Yeah, I'm really happy to I don't remember the choice.
It was like, this is your seat, that was your choice,
sit here or here?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I said.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
But I think I think the podcast, well I know
now that the podcast needed I knew then, but I
got confirmation that it needed an evolution.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
We had we were in the call for it.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Yeah, the relaunch call for but we were in the
relationship space for about five years and we had grown
out of just talking about relationship issues between kids and
politics and so finance. Yeah, yeah, it just felt good
to have different perspectives. So I appreciate y'all for accepting
the Forced Hiring podcast. I love y'all because it's also
(13:38):
not it's not easy to put your personal thoughts and
business out there into the world. So from everybody else,
but also from me and K, we love y'all.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yo, we appreciate y'all.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Thank you guys for giving us the platform for more
people to know us and what we do.
Speaker 8 (13:50):
Absolutely, and the response has been pretty good for the
most part. Like people will hit me up and be like,
you know, I love to hear your perspective on this podcast.
I love how vulnerable you were on this episode and
not be embarrassed. I want to block them immediately.
Speaker 7 (14:06):
But but I work through it. I do.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Thank you as she smiles too. I love that, so
thank you. I love how you always sneak in up
give them their flowers little story whenever we have listener letters,
So thank you for that, trible and thank you for
writing in All right, let's roll on into number three.
(14:33):
I want to start off by saying how much I
appreciate and love you guys so much. I just started
listening to the podcast in twenty twenty five, but I'm
catching up fast, dope, very good. I wonder what season
you're on, because we're here at seven fifteen. Yeah, all right, seventeen.
Oh my gosh, you guys have already changed my perspective
and husband's perspective on so many things. Please keep doing y'all,
(14:54):
thing we need y'all. I have no real problem, I
guess I'm just I'm twenty six. I have two kids
under two with my husband, who I'm so deeply in
love with. He is also twenty six and we've been
married for four years. On stuff, anyway, I know I'm
young as hell, and I try to remind myself of
that every day, that I have so much to accomplish
(15:16):
and got hell of time. However, it's like I have
a hard time believing that. To be honest, I feel
so lost some times that I get down in the
dumb so deeply. I'm a highly ambitious person who wants
to pretty much do all the things, but I have
two little ones depending on me. And I want to
make the right moves, but all the moves I want
to make just don't seem practical. Question mark. I desperately
(15:39):
want to be an author, and I have published. I
have a published work book on gratitude called Growth, Growth,
Goals and Gratitude, but it didn't make as much noise
as I would have liked to. Anyway, I'm still desperately
wanting to be a writer, but I know writing doesn't
bring much money unless you're like Nora Roberts or something.
(16:00):
I want to be able to take care of my family,
and being a struggling artist is not the route for me.
I come currently getting a certification online to become an
electronic medical assistance sorry medical specialist right. My heart isn't
in the medical field, but I need income to support
my family. However, lately, I've been thinking of becoming a
licensed therapist because I feel like I would be a
(16:21):
good therapist. While doing that, I want to work on
my books, not giving up on my dream, also while
also working to start a podcast. You have a lot
of a lot of things you want to do my
other dream. I know you guys got together very young.
How did you guys keep your eye on the prize
and not sacrifice your dream for stability. A part of
me feels like I lack courage since I have kids.
(16:43):
I feel like I want to do everything as safe
as possible. How do you stay focused on chasing your
dreams regardless of how I'm sure it is, especially when
you have kids. I desperately want my babies to have
a stable household with a stable sorry stable household with
stable income. I don't want a struggle life for them
like I had. Please help us us out, Love you both.
Speaker 8 (17:05):
I just want to say something because she referenced an
author named Nora Roberts, and Nora Roberts has written two
hundred and twenty five novels and she did not become
a best selling author until she wrote her nineteenth novel,
look at That. And so people come to me all
the time when they want to start their podcast. I
do a podcast coaching for new podcasters or people who
(17:27):
have had a podcast, but are you know, want to
like start seeing some results. And people will come to
me with like three or four episodes published and be like, well,
how am I supposed to monetize?
Speaker 7 (17:37):
Well, keep making your podcasts.
Speaker 8 (17:40):
You might see podcasts out here that are successful, and
you think that it just happened overnight because you just
discovered them, and then you go look in their catalog
and they're on episode two twenty five. It takes work,
It takes consistency, It takes a level of commitments, because nothing,
nothing becomes great overnight. Nothing becomes great overnight. No one
(18:01):
is an overnight success, and overnight success usually takes what
ten years.
Speaker 7 (18:05):
Yep, and it could happen faster.
Speaker 8 (18:06):
I feel like social media makes people think that you
can just put post something on the internet, go viral,
and now you're selling a million of your products or whatever.
But it really, really, really takes so much more than that.
The second thing I would say is there's a book
called The Defining Decade.
Speaker 7 (18:22):
I always recommend this book.
Speaker 8 (18:24):
It's called The Defining Decade Why thirty is Not the
New twenty by doctor Meg j And she talks about
something called identity capital, where you may want to do
you know, a whole bunch of different things, but there
are certain skills that each one of those things takes.
And if you focus in on honing in specific skills
(18:46):
that you can then use to like transfer into other careers,
that's what's going to help you the most? So the
Defining Decade by Doctor Meg j If you need more.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Guidance, I agree with Trouble Denzel said it. Without commitment,
you won't start. Without consistency, you won't finish. It's that simple.
You twenty six, Ma, like you are an infant in
this life thing. Like you know at twenty six, we were.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Just like you had to do all the things in
order to juggle right. We said, we didn't want to
be struggling artists either. You were working at the gym,
you know, built out that business. I was working as
a makeup artist at the time because we knew we
had to provide Jackson.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
We had Jackson Jackson. I was doing commercials. I was
a substitute teacher. I was a gym teacher. I was
a color commentary at MSG Varsity.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
You were a sideline reporter. Yeah, you were doing makeup
at the time.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
The whole point is is that you have to be
a fully functioning adult, which means the thing I applauded
the most that you went online and got an electrician certification.
Over the next ten years, the jobs that are going
to make the most money and make the most millionaires
are going to be electricians.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Oh, it's an electronic medical specialist.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
No, yeah, no, no, I know what she said.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
But what I'm saying is that she found found something
that can help bring revenue in.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
And what I'm saying is is that the arts may
be what you love. You may want to.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Write books and stuff like that, but right now you
have to do what you have to do for your family.
I always wanted to act, and in two thousand and
nine I had no acting gigs, so I became a trainer,
got my degrees in certifications and exercise physiology and kinesiology.
But even then I started making ten dollars an hour,
and then I had to build for four years till
(20:26):
I started making legitimate money to cover my family. I'm
saying that to say is that the journey is just starting.
You're not gonna be able to fix all of that tomorrow.
Like you're gonna listen to this, and hopefully when you
listen to this, I don't want you to take this
and say, oh, it's a long, hard journey. Nah, you
got your husband, you got your kids. Enjoy it while
you're on the journey. Because while we were building everything,
(20:46):
me and Kadi was still having a good time, chilling
with our friends, enjoying life with our family.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
So understand the balance that goes with the journey, right.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I mean it did require a sacrificial period though, Like
we had five years where we were like, we're not
going to be doing you know, the ex taking the trips,
buying the material things. We were just like, let's hunker down,
keep our eye on the prize and work. And now
what we're dealing with is, now that we've seen a
lot of those dreams come to fruition, it's having to
(21:15):
slow down a bit here in our forties to say,
let's enjoy the fruits of our labor, let's take the downtime,
let's enjoy being at home. So it'll shift for you.
But I love that you have a list of things
that you want to do. I believe you'll be able
to do them all.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I will add this to sometimes it's cyclical because me
and Kadeen also had to go into a sacrificial period
this year again as we branch into a new business
and capital is still flowing, but it's like I need
some of that capital to invest in another business. So
Kadeen and I were like yo. You know, vacations for
the last four months. You know, we haven't bought anything
(21:49):
for each other. Like these sacrificial periods happen in life.
That don't mean that you're stuck. That doesn't mean that
you're stagnant. That just means that you.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Have to pivot a little bit. For me or struggling
or struggle the struggle life doesn't mean that you're struggling.
It's just a growth period. And growth only comes when
you're uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
So just get used to being uncomfortable so that you
can grow and continue growing to be the person you
want to be.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
It's stuff. Good luck to you, says the right truck.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Absolutely, just to figure out what.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I want to be. Proud of yourself, you know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
You accomplishing things absolutely, absolutely. All right, let's take a break.
I know this next one I looked at here is
a long one, so.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
It's too easy.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I'll be giving you the shot.
Speaker 7 (22:38):
All right.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
So let's take a break and we're going to pay
some bills and come back with the rest of our
listening letters.
Speaker 10 (22:42):
Stick around, all right, let's get money.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
We are back. This is the long one that was
talking to Number four number four.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Hey a Detroit girly, what up though? Looking for some help?
I love y'all so much. We love you to sign
one Valenkadeen clock in and come to Detroit to show
us some love.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
We do have to get. I know Chicago was great
to us. I love Chicago, A good show.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Excuse me, Detroit. I remember that snow snows. We literally
got to Detroit on the day. As we were driving
in the snow was coming down. And having lived in
the Detroit area we lived in Canton for a little bit,
we were like, oh, no, people are not going to
come out, and then we remember quickly like this is
what everyone's accustomed to in Michigan. Like y'all know snow,
(23:41):
y'all moving snow and it was a packed how it
was packed lake effects.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
No, okay, let's get money here.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Y'all have been in inspiration to us singles in our twenties,
trying to figure things out as y'all got started so
young and unexpectedly and have made a beautiful life. In
my case, I have known this guy literally since birth.
We are both twenty three. My moms have been best
friends forever. My mom and her bestie that way my
mom and her bestie had us both two days apart.
While that's crazy, we've grown up together, and of course
(24:09):
everyone's fairy tale was us ending up together. Of course
it was my mom's birthday and his mom's birthday is
a day apart two? And what are the yards? Two
people they don't even like each other. All of this
came together and they like we like each other. I
do it is watch my mom's birthday and his mom's
a day apart two and what are the yards? Two
people with the day apart in birthdays have babies that
are born within four d eight hours of each other
(24:29):
at the same hospital, in the same here.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Jesus is a movie. This is a movie.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Tyler Prairie wrote, he can be a sweetheart and has
goals and business plans that can be sustainable with the
right amount of work and discipline. He has great qualities,
but there are some things that can be hard to
look past. I know he is inexperienced with having relationships,
as most of his relationships were women using him for
money or just to have someone to hang on to
while pursuing other things. Because he is a man of
(24:55):
God that will support you, pray for you and motivate you,
essentially being used. My thing is he has a horrible
temper at times. I know he's been through a lot
with his upbringing, but who the hell fault is that?
Speaker 3 (25:07):
I know?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I shouldn't be receiving an anger and backlash for things
he hasn't dealt with or healed from. That is facts,
and he's admitted to taking the anger out on me before.
But Negro, we both from the city. Don't raise your
voice in me because I'm gonna come back on ten
as well. And we're now we're getting nowhere and just yelling. Also,
he's had an issue with me liking women and has
(25:28):
signs of homophobia all around.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Remember that could.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Be something from you toog What are you doing? Remember
we've known each other forever, so why is this an issue?
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Now? You've known this, So why's your interest if that's
something you disagree with.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Also, he's not the sharpest tourist. It seems like they
wanted her to like him, so they were paying forced him.
And that's what it seems like this time, where I
feel as if I'm talking to a child. And I
hate to say that, but it's how watch you I
feel I have to explain everything, even things that seem
(26:03):
to be common sense. I try to be patient, knowing
his background, but it can be difficult to hold conversations.
I know I keep going, but I know I keep going.
But yeah, we're also not sexually compatible, like at all? Yeah,
because you like women. I've talked to him about it,
but again, I know he's inexperience in some areas and
the size he's working with doesn't help.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
She don't like.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Him, don't like him.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Lastly, and it is a lastly, Remember what I said.
Our parents are besties, and every time we get into it,
he tells his mom and other related relatives every detail
and text constantly, and it is sometimes texts that are
completely inappropriate of just my personal business and has some
of his family looking at me crazy, super embarrassed. I've
told him how that this is such an invasion of
(26:56):
privacy and honestly extremely childish. He said he was going
to stop, but honest but hasn't. My question is how
do I deal with the person? You don't deal with
a person feel is not mature enough for a relationship
yet saying he's all in but it's making no changes.
How do I communicate things these things that are bothering
me without causing a screaming match and make him feel
less than a man. Lastly, how to make sure things
(27:19):
stay okay between both parents? That to me seems like
the whole focus.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Deal with this because of the moms.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yes, or go find you, go find your king, because
he ain't it.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
She said, I would hate for things to get toxic
between parents due to all the gossip our my business
he keeps spreading and this is not their battle and
never should have reached their ears in the first place.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Agreed, thank you.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
And appreciate y'all. There's a lot of can we just
save her though, like.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Just go go somewhere, man, That's.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
The first thing I agree gat Josh.
Speaker 9 (27:53):
I think they're just not compatible. He's dealing with things
that he needs therapy on, like he needs to deal
with his anger separately. He might have a Napoleon complex
because whatever she means.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
That I mean.
Speaker 9 (28:10):
But when you think about all the things that she
all the pillars of incompallity that she mentioned, I think
it's easy to make that choice to say to step away.
The difficult part is that my mom and your mom
are best friends and we're sort of interweaved in our relationship.
They've probably been hearing their whole life. By yo, you're
gonna marry this girl, like your whole life.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
But that's more.
Speaker 9 (28:32):
That's more her god brother than her her husband. You
know what I'm saying, Like that's more like her cousin
than somebody who she's gonna get married.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I'm gonna tell you what it is. She's gay. No,
she didn't listen.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
She's gay. She likes women. She said that she's.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Conditioned to want to like him because both families have
been saying this could be, y'all could be.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
So she's conditioned and trying to set us.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
But she don't like all the things that she's pointed
out she doesn't like. If she was never condition to
feel like she had to like him, she Joe probably
would have just been No, she would have.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
She probably would have been with a woman. That's what
I think.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
I think that she's not getting a chance to live
in her truth because she doesn't want the people around
her to not feel bad. That's what Because even she
talked about the homophobia, you see all the things she
wrote in here is kind of letting us know how.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
She really feels. She doesn't get the chance to live.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
For truth, it has nothing to do with him and
his abilities to not be what she needs from him.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
He's not what she wants period. She also don't get
a chance to live who she wants to be.
Speaker 7 (29:32):
Nice too.
Speaker 8 (29:33):
What Josh said like about her making the choice to leave,
I feel like that's the key word is choice. Like
she's only twenty three. As young women, we are not
conditioned to choose who we want to be with. We're
conditioned to be chosen and every all of us are
conditioned to think that love is some magical thing that
just happens to you, not that something you know that
you get to make with somebody else. So one, I
(29:55):
feel like she feels like, oh, because we have all
of this magic between us, we were born two days apart,
our moms, a best friends, there must be some type
of like magic, yeah, magical love connection between us, so
that I have to give it a chance. But then
also that's taking away her choice, that's taking away the
fact that she gets to choose who she wants to
be with. So I feel like she gotta choose. She
(30:17):
has to be in the mindset of choosing. Is this
the kind of person that you want to be with
and the clear answer is hell, yeah, the no, you
get to make the choice. The choice has not been
made for you.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
I think that tough conversation needs to be had between
the moms you know, and them, since he's already dragging
the mothers into it. At this point. It's just like, hey,
I know what you guys may have thought this was
going to pan out to be, because you guys are
essentially conditioning us our entire lives to be husband and wife.
But it's just not there. The connection isn't there, And
I think the parents would have to understand, like, if
(30:50):
neither of one of the it doesn't seem like he's
happy either, neither one of them want to be happy,
then what's the point.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
They're twenty three, right, Yeah, that's really yeah. I don't
know why it has to be like, it's not like
they forty three, But even if he was forty three
in that moment.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Absolutely, this is the arranged marriage that we don't want work.
Speaker 8 (31:10):
It don't mean that he can never improve or get
better or become the kind of person that she may
be compatible with. It just means that he's not there
right now and she don't have to be there while
he grows out.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Yeah, but he grows into it.
Speaker 7 (31:24):
Yeah, she put the joint of like this.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
There was an emoji for that.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Well, yeah, people have been using it as like the
clockt emoji. But we knew what she meant when she
did this.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Yeah. Yeah, here's my thing too though. Right she said
that he has anger issues.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I'm really interested in understanding, Like, well, I want to
know what their dynamic is because they didn't mention any fathers.
So the mom's the best friend said, She said, he knows,
she knows how he grew up.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Right, and he didn't deal with certain stuff.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
And he calls and text homophobia.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Is he gay? Is you somethime? They say, men who
are like undercover or download or whatever, they.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Could be a man.
Speaker 7 (32:10):
And security.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
If there's no if there's no man in the house,
it's like the insecurity that he has to be more manly.
And then now this is the girl that I'm supposed
to be with and she likes girls.
Speaker 8 (32:19):
And I'm not enough, and he don't know how to
be a man. That's probably why he's blowing.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Out, blowing up.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
That's why I'm saying, there's a lot to unpack.
Speaker 9 (32:26):
You run into your moms to tell her every little
thing that happens in your relationship that's a problem.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
See, that's and to me, that's why I said, there's
a whole lot to unpack them if there's no fathers
around for him to learn how to be a man
or how to deal with his own issues. Because that's
my biggest thing with Jackson and them. It's like, listen,
if you have some issues, the first thing you have
to do first is figure out how you can deal
with it on your own. Don't run to me and
your mom. I get that you fourteen, but try to
(32:51):
figure it out first. And if you can't figure it out,
then come to us and we'll try to assist you.
But for him to constantly run to not only the mom,
but the whole family to tell them what's going on
with them too crazy that you can tell he has
some issues going on and he's angry all the time.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
And she said, lastly, how do I make sure things
stay okay between both parents?
Speaker 3 (33:12):
You see what her focus? Your focus is everybody else
right now?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Sir?
Speaker 7 (33:16):
Yeah, what do you want?
Speaker 8 (33:18):
That's the main question, and it clearly is not this
nigga she sucks. Oh, my god, you see him every time,
that's all you think about, Like, oh, nigga, you're so dumb, yo,
dick little you. Oh my god, you're always yelling. You
got an attitude, broble like a bitch.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
You know, got common sense, Like there's a lot of
things here.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
That that's crazy. It's crazy. She got to explain every
single thing to him that.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Is crazy, like mama's boiling.
Speaker 7 (33:44):
Yeah, and that's what it's your cousin. Yeah, yeah, right,
But imagine.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Are they in a relationship, in a full relationship? Are
they just kind of like she.
Speaker 8 (33:55):
Didn't really say, but it sounds I'm looking for That's
what I'm looking I'm like, it don't seem like or.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Is it just something like they know each other so
they moved kind of like there's.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
No title between them.
Speaker 7 (34:04):
It don't seem to be.
Speaker 8 (34:06):
She didn't explicitly say that, say that they yeah, but
it seems like they've been dealing with each other for
a little minute.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
It said that she she said that she likes women.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, problem he's upset about her past.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
She said, I'm about to because I'm trying to see
if I'm missing something because it just it also doesn't
seem like there was an established.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
Like, hey, we're boyfriend and girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
It seems like they were just all the families was like,
y'all would be good together, and they grew up together.
So everybody just automatically assumed that they were going to
go from holding hands at two and being friends to
just being together.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
But no real conversations was had between them two. You
know what I'm saying, It's.
Speaker 5 (34:44):
No wrong with trying to see if it works, but
it don't work.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
So she said he has some great qualities and then
just completely destroyed him.
Speaker 7 (34:54):
She didn't, not a single one.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
But she said can be a sweetheart. He has goals
and business plans that can be sustainable with the right
working discipline. So I mean, I guess because they're still
in their twenties, they're still building.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
I think this is also something because we don't know
if his father is there or not there. But I
do think that it's very important for men to understand
between the ages of fifteen and like twenty five.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
It is very important for us as we developed into men.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Right when you don't have a purpose and you don't
have guidance, you get lost and it's fearful. I remember
asking Jackson, remember when we had the five minute conversation,
And this doesn't have much to do with her, but
it just made me think about it, and I said, Jacks, man,
what's going on with life? He said, You're scary and
I kind of paused for a minute. I was like, well,
(35:44):
what's scary about it? He was just like, man, everybody
tells you is a man. You gotta do this, you
gotta do this, you gotta do this.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And I'm saying to myself, Dad, Jacks, you have a
father here who is trying to guide you and help
you when it's still scary. Imagine being a young boy
who don't have a far to kind of guide.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Him to help them.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Imagine how scary that is and how that causes anger,
because now you have to like, you know, you're trying
to protect the fear, but you can't show fear because
one thing they will tell you is man up.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
What does that even mean? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
And it sounds like this young brother is surrounded with women,
he said, both moms then her. It's like man up,
man up being a man if there's no one there
to tell him he's going to have these temperate issues.
Speaker 8 (36:25):
And that's so interesting because I feel like young boys
and young girls they start thinking about what it's like
to be a man when they're going through puberty. Yeah,
and that's when all your hormones are spiking, and that's
when your mood swings are happening. And then you get
stuck one way or another, depending on what language you've
learned works. If you're living in a house with a woman,
you might be able to yell at her and get
(36:46):
an attitude and get away with something. It might be
bigger than her, now you know, So now that's how
you're communicating with everybody.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
That was my prototype kids like Verbatim Trouble once they
got through puberty and they was taller than their moms
and they got a little mother.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
So I've seen how they changed.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
And then that's when I said, I watched the moms
get more defensive and aggressive because they're like, you're not
going to be in my house acting, And then the
boys get more defensive and aggressive. Now that young man
grows up and now all he knows how to do
is be defensive and aggressive. And now you're being defensive
and aggressive to someone else's daughter, and that's what she said,
like negro, like, don't bring that towards me. But it
(37:23):
sounds literally what you said. It sounds like what he's
going through. I hope he's able to find some help
because maybe if he did find that help, he would
be a better partner. But in those other ways he
still can't. Not sure you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yeah, maybe she needs to convince him to have the
conversation with a therapist or something he hasn't dealt with
or healed from and admitted to taking his anger out
so he knows he has a problem. Maybe he needs
to deal with that first. And girl, you might be
able to help him to find his wife. You know
what I'm saying. You're helping him through this process as
a friend because your mom's are friends. You guys are
(37:55):
like family. Essentially, it gives when mother's the best friends.
You may to help him through this face.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
That's what what you just said.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
I think is an answer if she helps him get
through the phase right, but also helps him find his wife.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
The toxicity between the.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Moms because now you now you and your sister. Ultimately
she was she would be like the best man at
his wedding. You know what I'm saying, You've seen things
like that was like this my homegirl, she's my best friend.
She might like I could see the moms still being
able to be best friends and stuff if they have
that partnership, Like the partnership doesn't have to.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Be and to be romantic romantic, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
Yea, hopefully help you know, hopefully that.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Helps you can move on and find your husband or.
Speaker 7 (38:39):
Wife and don't always have to be toxic either.
Speaker 8 (38:42):
To try to break up amicably, give each other some
space and time to get over the love. And you
don't got to go telling his mom, well, he ain't sure,
he's an idiot.
Speaker 7 (38:53):
You know, his mom don't need to hear.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
It's not the sharpest tool in the toolbox.
Speaker 7 (38:58):
But just even your mom don't need to hear everything either.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
And I'll be honest, if we break up, it's gonna
be toxic as a motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
I'm calling me me and I'm telling me everything you
see me me me. If we break up, I'm telling
you everything you do.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Who's going anywhere?
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Like the whole time, I'm like pop, you know me?
Speaker 7 (39:22):
Pop?
Speaker 2 (39:24):
It was patting her home on the whole time.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Y'all think y'all could be amorable with your wives if
y'all broke up?
Speaker 4 (39:30):
Can I?
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Yeah, I can?
Speaker 3 (39:33):
You can be amicable with yes?
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Are you said? Why did you trust?
Speaker 4 (39:36):
The eye?
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Said the eye? And the pair? It was not.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
I don't even want to get to that point.
Speaker 8 (39:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:43):
I don't want to entertain the thought because I know
I'm a petty person when I get rid of Yeah,
and it's gonna get real bad.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Triple Are you an amicable person when you break up?
Before I rip.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
You were like, I ain't even gonna lie to So
you're not in communication with any of your exes.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
At this point?
Speaker 4 (40:07):
No?
Speaker 7 (40:08):
I think, well maybe a little bit, but I wouldn't
say we're friends. I did.
Speaker 8 (40:12):
Just one of my exes asked me if I wanted
to be friends, and I said no recently.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
I love Triple.
Speaker 8 (40:19):
Reason, Yeah I did. If we're supposed to be friends,
we would be friends. I'm I'm so much better with
breakups now, Like you don't want to be breaking up,
I'm gonna leave you alone.
Speaker 7 (40:30):
I'm not about to argue with you. I'm not about
to do nothing but that just around the breakup.
Speaker 8 (40:36):
If we're still communicating, I would advise you to cut
me off because it's gonna get ugly.
Speaker 7 (40:41):
It's gonna be real ugly.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
That's fair. That's fair.
Speaker 7 (40:48):
Absolutely.
Speaker 8 (40:49):
I can try my hardest to be nice and and friendly,
but I'm going to be a bitch.
Speaker 7 (40:56):
It's gonna happen.
Speaker 5 (40:57):
If we get to that point. I'm not gonna be
nice because I tried everything, so.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Yeah to me, we break up, you see the biggest
bitch come out on God, I'll be.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Like, finally, I always knew there was a bitch in there.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
You made me this way, I gave you everything, that
gave you the best year is about life.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
But hopefully that helps. Seriously, hopefully don't be petty with
your man, bro. He got other things you gotta worry about.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
All right, Like that wraps us up for today's listen
to other episode. I hope that was helpful. I always
envision when people listen to the listener letter episodes if
y'all like chime in on the conversation and like, yeah,
I wonder what advice other people would give once they
hear the story. That would be pretty interesting. That would
be pretty interesting. And getting follow ups. I like the
follow up, like we had one person say that gave
(41:54):
them good advice before, So if you have any follow
up stories, we'll take those two like did it work out?
Did not work out? Did you take our advice? Did
it not work like? I'd be interested to know, like
how how things pan out for you guys after you
write in for listen letters. So continue to write in,
continue to ask questions, continue to give us the whole story,
and we'll continue to listen and give you, guys our
(42:14):
two cents. If you want to be featured as a
listener letter on Elis ever after, be sure to email
us at the Ellis Advice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
That's t H E E L L I S A
d V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
All Right, moment of truth time. I guess it could
be something in general you want to say. It can
be about something we spoke about in one of the
listener letters. Anybody have a moment of truth they want
to share?
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Mineus is simple, like these are all conversations. That's exactly
what you know. Like, the the older I get, the
more we do this podcast, there is no listener letter,
there's no situation, there's no moment in time.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Or life where you can't find a resolution.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
If you openly be honest with the people that you
love and don't be defensive about the things they're going
to tell you, that can help you because they love
you as well.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Conversations can heal everything. As long as you have an
open mind and an open.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Heart, that's good. I'm gonna piggyback on that to say,
in addition to having an open mind and heart, it's
also equally important to have accountability, which is a lot
of things people have problems with. That's something I had
to work through because I was always in pursuit of
being this perfect wife, perfect mom, perfect daughter, perfect friend.
And as soon as I kind of let that go
(43:26):
and was willing to accept when people saw either something
in me or had an interaction with me, or something
I may have said or done that didn't land the
way I may have intended it. You know, we were talking
about impact versus intent. I was able to then look
at myself with a different lens and say, wow, I
didn't know this is how I may have come across
(43:47):
or I could have handled that better. And taking accountability
is really important because I think it's one of the
first steps to acknowledging how somebody else feels and saying
I didn't intend for you to feel this way, but
I acknowledge how you feel. I understand how you feel,
and here's how I'm going to try to move forward.
So that's something that's helped me in conversations and interactions
(44:08):
more recently with people.
Speaker 8 (44:11):
That's what's up mine would be get comfortable choosing, especially
in love and relationships.
Speaker 7 (44:15):
You get to choose who you have in your life
and how you have them in your life.
Speaker 8 (44:19):
Don't always feel like you know there's some magical a
situation that's just going to arise, or that you have
to give something a chance. You don't you get to.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Choose that's dope, or don't wait to be chosen, right exactly.
Speaker 7 (44:33):
Don't wait to be chosen.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Then that spoke to me a little bit, especial when
we're talking about family stuff, because sometimes it's not about
choosing who's your family, but choosing how you show up
for your family. You do have a choice, yes, and
that goes back to the first listening letter, right, It's
like you get to choose how you show up for
your family, and you get to choose to protect your peace.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
So that choosing is a good point. I didn't even think.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
About that in terms of that, but when you said that,
it made me think about the family.
Speaker 5 (44:58):
Everyone sounds to a profound it same moral. Have these conversations.
Mm hmmm, he's gonna say the same thing you see
here looking on his face, he got nothing.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
I like your hat about to say, Josh over there
looking swagged out today?
Speaker 3 (45:13):
Yo, I got it?
Speaker 4 (45:16):
What's up?
Speaker 1 (45:19):
You see the effort you put into the outfit. I
need to see that every episode.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Now you got but I don't. Don't it look don't
right now looks a little bit.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
It looks curated.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
It looks curated like I don't even.
Speaker 7 (45:35):
Think this is a serious thing right now?
Speaker 4 (45:37):
Are you serious?
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (45:38):
I got pictures of social media. We're wearing the same glasses.
I like the glasses to Chris got the same parid
but you know the glasses they had you look like
a B boy from the eighties. You do is a
look as a vibe though, as long as be doing
stand up.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Paddle back.
Speaker 9 (45:59):
In his forty talking about pause, Oh my god, I
don't have a moment of truth.
Speaker 8 (46:06):
Man.
Speaker 9 (46:07):
It's the holiday season, okay, and you got airings on
sales that party, y'all know his inventory right now to
bring you some amazing stuff, so you definitely get the
stuff that's gonna sell right now.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
That's dope. Yeah, you know, I'm there a one lion
all air NB all day, all right, and we love y'all.
Thank you, Thank you for for always continuing to rock
with us through growth, through the changes. Here we are
seventeen seasons in and so many of you have been
on this journey with us, and we always laugh about
how we may have sounded, you know, season one and two,
(46:44):
but if anything, we hope that it's a testament for
you guys to see that it's it's possible through diligent
conversations and being intentional and loving each other and having
fun through the process. That the years will fly by
and when you look back there'll be great memories made
and that much more love. So we love y'all, Thank you,
(47:08):
and be sure to find us on Patreon. Patreon. Gang,
we give you an extra special thank you because you
guys are really the core of our support and we
don't take that lightly or for granted, So thank y'all
so much. On Patreon, you see the after show as
well as more exclusive Ellis family content and you can
find us on social media at el sever After. We're
(47:28):
on Instagram and TikTok and then I'm at Kadine I am.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
I am Devan on all platforms, I'm underscore Mack dot
Ellis and i am Airing Underscore MB.
Speaker 7 (47:41):
I'm the Cool t R I B b Z then
cool on everything.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
And if you listen to post, sure to rate, review,
subscribe and you see josh give them a huge orange glasses.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
At dead ass y'all.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
We love you yo, and happy Turkey Day. Make sure
you give thanks and love on your family.
Speaker 7 (48:05):
Gobble Thanksgiving, you.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
Said, Gobble, Gobble. That's what I'm gonna be.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Thankful, and I'm gonna be wobbling wabbling.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
You're wobble and gobble god.
Speaker 8 (48:16):
Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, Production
by Joshua Dwyane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Leshan
Roe
Speaker 6 (50:04):
Tuk Tuks
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.