216: My Karma

On this week's episode, JD and Turk cause a golf accident, and karma bites back with a vengeance. In the real world, Florence Pugh is back with her own segment AND new cooking tips.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Aloha, Zach Graham. Hi, everybody.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi, everybody. Hello, friends. Hello, Donald. Hello, Daniel. Hello, Joelle.
What is that?

Speaker 1 (00:10):
These are olives with garlic in them.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Why would you bring those to our meeting?

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Because it goes so good with this.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
What is that?

Speaker 1 (00:19):
This is a bourbon.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
What are you sipping? Is that champagne?

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Well, we're out of wine glasses, and I wanted to
have a little... sans serre with you today um so
i poured it into a champagne flute i don't want
you to think i'm drinking champagne i'm not donald.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Uh well this is a scotch glass and i don't
want you to think i'm drinking our orange juice or
something like that this is actually scotch.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yes i see you i see you how are you
how's it going the hair is looking good.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
The hair is feeling good too, man. You are looking good.
You're looking all shaggy and everything. The head's looking all shaggy.
Look like Han Solo in episode one.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
There you go. Okay. Well, that didn't take long to
get us into that.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Well, not episode one. Episode four, I should say. Episode four.
I shaved.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
My hair is long. My hair is long, but I'm
freshly shaved and excited to see you guys. It's always
nice to check in With our friend group here. And
everyone listening, it's nice. I feel excited to be talking
to all these fine people who are listening. Someone told
me on one of the social media that we've actually
helped them lose weight because they are listening to the

(01:32):
podcast as they jog or power walk, whatever they're doing.
And that as they go longer, they're increasing the distance
they're going. And they said, like, I wanted to thank
you guys because it gave me motivation.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
I read that too. That was... That was pretty cool.
It made me feel good, man. I don't know about you,
but if we're entertaining you while you're working out right now,
that makes me so happy. I don't know about Daniel
and Joelle, how that makes you guys feel. But for me,
that's like one of those things, like if I can
distract you to the point where you don't feel the
pain anymore.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Hell yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
You know, I think it's a great feeling. And if
you haven't done that yet, you know, you can take
your dog on a walk with us. We're willing to
go with you. Take us, take us anywhere you go.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
You could take us in the pool if you got
the right headphones.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yes, that's true. Don't electrocute yourself on our behalf. But yeah,
I mean, no, it's nice. It was in all seriousness.
It was nice to hear that we were sort of
indirectly aspiring someone to to take care of themselves and
do some cardio. I felt happy. I felt happy about that.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Made me feel good, too. It was also nice to
see the love that Shay got on the show last week.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Everybody loves Shay.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
How do you not love Shay?

Speaker 2 (02:45):
And he's just so smart and humble and kind. And
I want to be real friends with Shay.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
I would love to be real friends with Shay.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
When the pandemic's over, I would like to like, you know,
hang out with Shay.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Maybe go to a restaurant, have a meal.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
It's hard to make new guy friends when you're our age, right?
You just kind of have your friends. But I feel
like Daniel and Joella are our new friends. I didn't
mean to specifically say guys, but I mean, you know,
like I run across someone like Shay and I think,
you know, I would be real friends with this person.
But what do you do? You go on like a
man date? Like, hey, let's go on a man date

(03:20):
and get a drink.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah, but I don't know if it'd have to be
called a man date. It just could be called a date.
Let's go out. Let's go and do something.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
I know, but don't you think it's a little weird
to be like, hey, man, do you want to go
on a man date? If you came, it wouldn't be weird.
Then it'd be a threesome man date.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
And then... We're talking, and then we're talking.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, then she could go down.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, then it could happen. I love it.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Oh, by the way, I meant to tell you that
Florence's mother was kind enough to record her admonishing us
for talking about our willies, and I've sent it to Dan,
and any time that we saunter into talking about our
penises too much, you will hear something like, The following,
which Dan will now play. Oh, for fuck's sake, just

(04:11):
stop talking about your willies.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Well, we got a problem because this episode, there's a
lot of sex in this episode. And usually when you
talk about sex, the first thing you talk about, at
least me, is how my willy feels after or during
or before sex.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Why is there a lot of sex? Isn't this my
karma that we watched?

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, but there's a baby being born. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Well, that's not sexual. A baby being born is not sexual.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Elliot and Nurse Flowers do the do finally, and we
find out. You know what? How about this? Five, six, seven, eight.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
About a bunch of dogs and nurses and a janitor
who loved to hate. I said he's got stories that
we all should know. So gather round to hear our,
gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach
and Donald.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
You want to just, let's get this out of the
way right away. I want to get this.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Okay. You feel like you're sort of revved up. I
feel like you came to work today prepared. You got
a little pep in your step, and you want to
do this summary.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
I want to do it now.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
All right. Well, let Daddy get out his timer.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Get that timer, Daddy.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Oh, shit. That's the weirdest erection I've ever had. For
fuck's sake.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
No, enough. That's enough.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Sorry, Deb. Sorry, Deb.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
What's happening? You ready?

Speaker 4 (05:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yes, and go.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Karma's a bitch.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Ta-da! That's it?

Speaker 1 (05:53):
That is it.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
You just didn't fucking do your homework.

Speaker 5 (05:56):
Why don't you be honest?

Speaker 1 (05:58):
I did do my homework. It's just that there's nothing
really to this. This episode, I don't know, man. This episode,
the only thing that really is depth that we talk
about in this episode is how karma is a bitch.
How it comes around and bites you in the ass
like a dog would. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (06:13):
Turk.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
JD, Cox, Jordan, and Kelso all learned this lesson in
the episode, you know, and that's really all there is
to it. Even in the summary at the end of
the episode, it's pretty much that.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
You know, when I was a child, my father would
rate us how well we'd eaten off our dinner plate.
And he'd go, and when he was mad and grumpy,
he'd go, that's an F job. That is an F job.
And I think I want to say to you right now, Donald,
that is an F job.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Well, you know what? I take that. That's an honor
for me because it's something that your dad used to
say to you guys. And you know how much I
love your dad. So, bam.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yesterday was his birthday.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Oh, man. How are you?

Speaker 2 (07:01):
I'm, you know, sorry. You couldn't. I'm about to say
for those of you who don't know. But why would
you know? Although I have spoken about my father dying.
My father has passed away. But, of course, anyone who's
lost a parent, you sometimes... look down at the calendar
and go, oh my God, it's his birthday. And in fact,
my calendar, he's still in my iCal thing, which puts
up a reminder. And it came up yesterday. It was like,
it's dad's birthday. And, you know, I don't know what

(07:24):
to say other than it stings a little. He would
love this. This would be his favorite thing in the world.
My father was my biggest champion. As you can imagine,
he loved Donald Faison like the fourth son he never had.
And he would love this. He would love more than
anything us sitting around talking about scrubs because he's such

(07:46):
my champion. He loved scrubs more than anyone.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
I remember one of the last times I saw your dad,
we were in Mexico, and I sat down next to him.
He said, okay, tell me everything. I just want to know.
Tell me, what are you doing? Tell me everything. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
He was so, my father, you know, some people were like,
most people in our lives, I find, just they go, hey,
how's it going? They don't really want a long answer.
They just want, oh, good, good.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
How are you?

Speaker 2 (08:11):
My father wanted the genuine long answer. He would, he
would go, okay, Donald, um, I saw you a year
ago at Zach's birthday. Tell me everything that's happened since.
And he would, he would genuinely want to hear it.
He was so genuinely interested in people, you know? I
love that quality about him.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (08:33):
He loved you, man.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
I loved him.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
He loved coming to the set and, uh, Everything I
ever did, he came to. When I did the Broadway show,
he came like 11 times. He loved it.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
I remember when you got nominated for the Emmy for
the first year. And we did that thing in the
bathroom where we were pretending to rob Tony Shalhoub of
his Emmy. And your dad played the bathroom attendant. And
we shot it at Scrubs right before you went to
the ceremony. Because I guess we knew... The chances of

(09:06):
you winning aren't going to be big.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
You can't beat Shalhoub. You can't beat Shalhoub. Are you crazy?
You think you're going to beat Shalhoub?

Speaker 1 (09:14):
It was either him. It was something like that. We
either robbed him or it was Hugh Laurie or something
like that. And we took his cane or some shit
like that. And then we ran out of the bathroom.
I just remember, I remember if anyone out there has
that thing, I'm sure it's on YouTube somewhere. Your dad
played the bathroom attendant in that episode. And I feel like.

Speaker 6 (09:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
That was one of the first times. That's one of
my first memories of your dad, actually.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
I put my dad in Garden State and I gave
him a long monologue and he kept messing it up.
And I felt so bad because he was so, you know,
like my dad used to do community theater or as
they call it in England, amateur dramatics. But, he was
always the lead in the local play.

Speaker 5 (10:00):
Come on in.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Oh, hi. Hey, look who it is.

Speaker 5 (10:04):
Do you want to give another cooking tip to Donald?

Speaker 7 (10:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Oh, she's going to pour me some Sancerre and my
champagne flute. Hey, how you doing? Welcome back.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Thanks.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
Hi.

Speaker 5 (10:14):
How's everyone doing?

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Everyone's great.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
How are you?

Speaker 1 (10:16):
We're good over here. The pizza came out good, as
you can see.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Oh, my God. Did you like the oil?

Speaker 1 (10:22):
I loved the oil. The problem was I got to
figure out a way to fuse the garlic into the
olive oil. I think maybe if I cook it, that'll
help out.

Speaker 6 (10:32):
Well, also, what you could do is instead of chopping it,
did you do the grater tip?

Speaker 4 (10:37):
No.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
I literally took olive oil and just dropped garlic into it.

Speaker 6 (10:42):
Right.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah, no, no. And then covered it and shook it.

Speaker 6 (10:46):
No, I get you. So what you're going to do
is you have obviously one of those big graters with
like all the different levels.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (10:51):
So if you go on to the thin slice rather
than the, what you do on Parmesan and you grate
the garlic and put it in the oil and then
mix it around, it will start kind of getting all
good and juicy pretty much after 10, 15 minutes.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
Okay.

Speaker 6 (11:05):
Okay. And that lasts actually for a week. So you
could put that on your salads, on your garlic bread.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
So you'll be good with that. This has been another
edition of Flossie's cooking tip.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
You look great.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
I was just going to.

Speaker 6 (11:21):
Say, Donald.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Give him another one.

Speaker 6 (11:22):
Put some, okay, so your next pizza, you're going to
get some goat's cheese. The one that's not wet, but
it's like in the tube, like the white tube.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (11:30):
And you're going to do that. And you're going to
do your pesto oil. And then you're also going to
put some Parma ham on it and it will.

Speaker 5 (11:37):
Blow your mind.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
What is Parma ham? That sounds delicious.

Speaker 6 (11:41):
It's like, I mean, do you have ham on? Like
a Spanish cut ham?

Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, I'm sure I could find it. I'm sure I
could find it. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (11:50):
Like strip that up, put that on your pizza with
goat's cheese and some of your pesto and actually your
garlic and you'll have an awesome pizza.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
I can't wait. Like I made the sauce myself. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Did you?

Speaker 1 (12:03):
I don't. Yeah. So what I did was I took
10 tomatoes and I put some garlic into the tomatoes
and then I blended it all up in a blender.
And then I poured it over some heat in a
pot and then add some sugar and some salt and
some vinegar. Very little sugar, a lot of salt, a

(12:27):
lot of vinegar. And that shit came out.

Speaker 7 (12:29):
Mwah.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
It was great.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Naughty.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Naughty, yeah.

Speaker 6 (12:32):
That sounds naughty.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
But this was all from watching. All of this came
from watching you that day, just like you are a natural, yo.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
You were mesmerized.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
I was. You are a natural at cooking. I watch
when you do the Instagram stuff and you're chopping stuff
up and you're about to cook. I watch that stuff too, Flo.
keep it coming please keep it coming as a matter
of fact okay i'm okay all right no.

Speaker 6 (12:56):
No i was doing it all right you were doing
it in a quiet.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Well this has been another edition of flo's cooking tips
all right see this podcast has something for everyone let's
say you don't even like scrubs well you just got
some pizza cooking tips.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
Listen that's not all she can cook though she can
cook so many things You're a very lucky, lucky man.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, I am very lucky, of course. It's idiotic. It
makes absolutely no sense. I get it. People who write
on the internet, why the hell is she with him?
I get it. I don't understand it either.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Listen, as your best friend, you're a little bit above
your pay grade right now, dude.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
I know. Well, you don't have to join the people
on the internet, Donald. I honestly thought that was going
to go the other way. Donald was going to say,
you know, as your best friend, she's lucky to have
you too. No, no, no, no, no, no. And instead
he's like, as your best friend, yeah, you're hitting above
your fucking pay grade right now.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
But you'd say the same thing to me. You say
that shit to me all the time about Casey.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
It makes absolutely no sense. I get it. Listen, she
was helping with an audition the other day. It was
a voiceover audition.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
She got the part and you didn't.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
No, listen, this is my joke. I'm positive that's what's
going to happen. Because it's an... Listen, it's an animated character.
I'm not going to say anymore because it's super top secret.
But I love doing animated voices. And it's for a
huge thing. And I'm like, babe, I need you to
read with me. And she's like, all right, but tell
me about my character. I'm like, don't worry about your character.
You're off camera. I mean, it wasn't being filmed. It

(14:37):
was just audio. So it was like normally if you're
doing it, for those of you who don't know, if
an actor is doing a video edition, your friend who's
reading with you is behind the camera. You never even
see them. But with an audio edition, it was like
we were kind of on the same playing field. So
I was like, you know, trying to say in so
many words, like, don't like upstage me with your fucking
great acting. This audition is about me, okay? So your

(14:58):
character can't be like great.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Right, right.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
So she starts getting into character and little by little,
I'm like, she's going to get the fucking part over me.
They're going to be like, who was reading with him?
Because that was fine. I mean, Zach was fine, but
whoever was reading with him was amazing.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
I think we all went out for the same part.
Did you audition for.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Yes, that was it. You auditioned for that too?

Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah, who didn't, man? That shit is everywhere, man.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
All right. Well, I thought that I was one of... Well,
I understand why you should definitely read for that part.
We can't give away too many specifics, but I could
actually even imagine you being way better at it than me.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
I imagine... No, no way!

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Well, because of certain specific aspects of the character that
you would do well.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
Dude, you're perfect for it. And look, well, look, we're both...
We both love.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
No, you beeped that, Dan. We're both blank fans.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
We're both....

Speaker 2 (15:58):
Dude, I'm not trying to break an NDA before I
even get the part. Anyway, Donald, I just want you
to know that you know the audition now. You know
the scene. And Flo was reading the other part in
the scene. And I'm sitting here as a director being like, oh, fuck,
she's good at this. And I'm like, everyone's going to

(16:19):
be listening to this and be asking about fucking her.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
Dude, I totally get it.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
All right, should we get into the episode, Donald? Let's
get into the episode. These people came in for a
Scrubs podcast. They're getting pizza podcasts for free. They're getting
Star Wars podcasts for free. But they tuned in for
a Scrubs podcast, Donald.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Okay, well, then let's start it off. Dude, I thought
it was very funny that Nurse Roberts is at the
diner with us.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
I'm laughing at that too. Nurse Roberts has never socialized
with us ever.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Ever, ever.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Why is she there?

Speaker 1 (16:49):
Because she's best friends with Carla.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
No, because I said I'd buy.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
No, I know, but that's what you said. You said, hey,
it's on me. It's my treat. And then you're pissed
off at her. And she's like, you said it was
my treat. You didn't say it's my treat except for
the lobster.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
And I go, I said no shellfish. First of all,
why is Nurse Roberts ordering, who the fuck orders lobster
at a diner?

Speaker 1 (17:17):
A diner? Right. Dude, I went to a.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
Diner with a dude. Nurse Roberts was like, pre-food, I'll
have the lobster. But Nurse Roberts, we're at a diner.
That's fine. Lobster, please.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Lobster, please. You go to a diner, you get a burger,
you get the freaking pancakes, you get the French toast,
you get the eggs and bacon. Those are, you can't
go wrong. But when you start ordering like the shepherd's
pie and stuff like that, just know that it wasn't
made that day.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
I know. It wasn't made at that moment. You know
when you go to a diner or someplace that has
like a menu that's like 10 pages long and you're like,
how the fuck do they make all this stuff? Like
Cheesecake Factory is one of those places. It's like a novel.
The menu is a light novel, a novella. And you're like,
how could they possibly make all this stuff? And then

(18:07):
there's always that person that like orders like the fish.
And you're like, I wouldn't be ordering the fish here. Oh, well,
how are the scallops at IHOP?

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Right. Cheesecakes.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
First of all, not only is Nurse Roberts there because
she was going to get free food, but I'm sitting
there with the woman I love is macking with her
new boyfriend. And I wanted to ask you, do you
think you could ever be out with your girlfriend? Girlfriend's
new ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. They're like, who does that?

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Dude, I've been very lucky in my life for that
to never happen to me. Uh, I saw it happen
to a buddy of mine and that shit. And I,
and I saw how it fucked him up. I don't
want to say his name, but you were there too.
And we were out and somebody was out with us
and his ex-girlfriend was there. And we were like, let's
bring her over. And he was like, please. No, no, no, no, no.

(19:11):
Don't you dare do it. He knows who it is.
But I've been lucky. Like, you've gone out and run
into ex-girlfriends of mine with their new boyfriends a.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Couple of times. Yeah, that's always so awkward when it's like, hey, you.

Speaker 5 (19:26):
Hey, you.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
But, I mean, I would never do what JD does
in this. He allows himself to go sit in a
diner booth with the woman he still clearly has feelings
for and her new guy. And they're, like, making out
at the diner booth. That sounds like fucking hell.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, and then he bests JD also in the freaking... in.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
The he gives a beautiful toast and jd and jd
wipes a tear away.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Your father would say yeah right your father would have
said to yours that's an f that's an f yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
F job F job. Speaking of my father, he was
very into public displays of, not affection in terms of
physical affection, in terms of going around the table and
all saying something nice. Like if it was someone's birthday,
let's all go around and say what we love about Donald.
And some people were like really shy when that happens.
They're like, oh no. But my father loved like, well,

(20:24):
I'll start. And he just loved going around the table,
all saying things about people. And, uh, so yeah, in
this scene, JD, uh, is so mad that, that, uh, that,
that Ricky Schroeder's there. And he says something like, I'm
going to say something that only people that know Turk
and Carla for a long time would really understand, but

(20:44):
you guys rock. You do, you do. And that's the
extent of the speech. Yeah. And then, and then he,
he gets up, he gets nurse, nurse flowers gets up
and gives like a beautiful speech. And I just love
how I, I surreptitiously swipe a tear.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
And then go, lame!

Speaker 2 (21:04):
I go, lame! And then I go, lame! And I go,
this guy. Like, what an asshole.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Great.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
He's really good, Ricky.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, dude. He's freaking Rick Schroeder, dude. I mean, come on.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Let's talk about golf, Donald, because at 214, you have
quite a golf swing on the roof of the hospital,
and this was before you had an interest in golf.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, I brought that down. You're not very good at it. No,
my golf swing is pretty shitty in this episode. It's bad.
And yours is too. But, you know, I love golf now.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
You tell me to take a running start. As you say,
I wrote it down, you said, A lot of the
better pros take a running start.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
I think this is all from Happy Gilmore. I think
all of our dialogue at this is from Happy Gilmore.
And I'm doing the Carl Weathers dialogue from that movie.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, so Carl Weathers in Happy Gilmore is.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
I never saw Happy Gilmore.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
It's a golf movie about a guy who's down on
his luck.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Danil just looked really upset by that.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
It's funny. It's such a good... Look, dude, Apatow. It's
Apatow and Adam Sandler. So a lot of people don't
know this. I know this just by luck. Just by luck.
But Judd and Adam are best friends from college or
some shit like that. And when Adam was coming up,
he would be like, dude, check out my stuff. And

(22:45):
he'd be like, oh, let me fix this for you
or let me help you out here. Like he does
with all of his protege. He does that with Seth.
He does it with Jason. He does it with all
of them. You know what I mean? He's one of
those cats that you go to that kind of helps
you along the way. He mentors people. He's a great mentor.
And Adam and Judd, have a relationship that spans all

(23:07):
the way back from when Adam was on MTV, from
what I understand. Now, this is all somebody telling me
this story. And so when Adam's making all these movies
back in the day, he would bounce all of his
ideas off of his best friend, Judd Apatow. If I'm wrong, Judd, Adam,
please feel free to call in the fake doctors, real friends,
and put me in my place. We would love it.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Listen, you've said it, and you've said it on the
internet now, so I think that makes it true.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
There it is.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
I'm looking it up right now. It all plays. They
moved in. They were old roommates.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Now, Don, you were not into golf at all. And
in fact, you say in this episode, like, damn it,
you damn you, Tiger Woods. Why did I have to
get into golf? But we have clubs and everything. Like,
we have the gear. Why are we so bad?

Speaker 1 (24:01):
That's golf. That's how it is. That literally is how
it is. Your first... I mean, you have to invest
in yourself and in golf to get really good at it.
There's no way that you can come into golf and
just be a really good player. You know, it took
me a year to break 100. And after I broke 100,

(24:21):
people were like, you're now in the 10th percentile of
golf players. And then from breaking 100 to breaking 90
to breaking 80 to all of these things, it just
gets smaller and smaller. There are very few people that
are scratch golfers in the world.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
What are you hitting these days?

Speaker 1 (24:39):
So my handicap right now is 7.9. It was at
one point. I got it all the way down to 6.6,
which was really cool.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
How are you on when they put sort of the
obstacle things, like if there's a windmill or a loop-de-loop,
are you good at those?

Speaker 1 (24:56):
I don't ever play that stuff anymore. When I was
a kid... That was a great first date, but I
don't ever go anywhere.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
So you're saying, what you're telling me here, and this
is probably a lot of, this is new information for
a lot of people listening, is that when you get
into the bigger golf courses, there are no loop-de-loops or windmills?

Speaker 1 (25:12):
No, there are no longer loop-de-loops and windmills. I'm with Zach.
It sounds considerably less fun.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Yeah. Yes. I mean, I used to love it when my,
when my, when my ball would go in the hole
and then you'd go into the tube and you'd be like,
where's it going to come out?

Speaker 7 (25:26):
Oh shit.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Where's the tube go? And then you'd be running down
to look for where the tube came out. And then, Oh,
are you telling me you're removing the most fun element
of golf from the game? There's no secret tubes.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
You know, in the last hole in mini golf, when
you get like a free game, if you get it
in the right hole, I once did that.

Speaker 4 (25:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
And it was thrilling. Bells went off.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Did you keep score? Nice.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Yeah, I don't remember what I got, but it was
probably a 7.9, I think, is what I got. Actually,
I am recalling.

Speaker 5 (25:59):
It was a 7.85.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
By the way, you know what would be a good
product for us to invent? It would be a full,
huggable plastic suit that you can put on to hug
people during COVID. It's like the Michelin Man outfit. It's
got like inflatable aspects to it.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
It's like Marty McFly and Doc Brown in Back to
the Future when they got the freaking nuclear... The hazmat
suits on. We should make fake doctor real friends hug
hazmat suits for all.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Of the populace. And then we'll have to do a
little disclaimer that's like, we are not responsible if you
get COVID from using this thing and hugging people. Do
you remember when... Do you remember when Dan came over
to drop off the Funko Pop?

Speaker 1 (26:46):
And he was hazmatted out?

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Yeah, that's what we're going to wear.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
I said it before and I'll say it again. Dan's
a lot bigger than I thought he was. I thought
Dan was going to be like 5'2.

Speaker 8 (26:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
He's like 6'1. Well, you've only seen Dan sitting. Very true.
Dan looked like he could fuck somebody up. Dan looked
like he could fuck somebody up. When I saw him,

(27:15):
I was like, oh, Dan. Oh, shit. Wow, I'm honored
by that.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
Should we take a break? What are we doing here?

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Probably.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
We're going to take a break. Let's get back into it.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
One of Bill's favorite lines he always quoted was, do
not say splotchy. Good splotchy, Dr. Splotchy. When Ken comes
in with his face all burnt.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, I thought he was amazing in this episode. This
is a perfect example of a storyline in an episode
where It's like the D storyline in the episode. And
it's so funny that you laugh at it the whole
way through. From the beginning where he's talking about how
the coffee sucks in the hospital and he has to

(28:10):
go to the freaking coffee box across the street to
get it. to it's spilling on his face to hide Dr. Splotchy,
that line, all the way to the shit that fucking
Johnny says to him, dark roast and fucking like all
of those things. This was one of the funny, I
remember this storyline from when we recorded it, from when

(28:32):
we shot it back in the day. And I always thought,
if you're ever on a show and you have the
opportunity to have something this funny and that least amount
of work, Like, you know what I mean? Ken had
to work maybe two days the whole episode, but his
storyline is so funny and so good that it's memorable. It's,
you know, it's a win, dude.

Speaker 8 (28:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
And everything, it's one of those things where it was
the gift that kept on giving. Every time he showed up,
there'd be another funny joke about it.

Speaker 6 (29:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
And what about this? How about my Seinfeld impersonation where
I go, what's the deal with Q-tips? They're not Q's
and they're not tips.

Speaker 8 (29:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
I loved it.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
I know it's meant to be a horrible joke, but
why couldn't the writers have come up with an actual joke?
This is just like nothing. You can come up with a.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
I'm confused. Are you trying to tell me that Seinfeld
isn't funny?

Speaker 2 (29:28):
No, I love Seinfeld. I'm saying that this joke that's
a fake Seinfeld joke doesn't even make any sense. What's
the deal with Q-tips? They're not Qs and they're not tips.
There are great Seinfeld one-liners, like one of my favorites.
If the black box is the only thing that survives
a plane crash, why don't they make the whole plane

(29:48):
out of the black box?

Speaker 1 (29:50):
It's a great, great fucking joke, dude. Great joke. He
has some of the best jokes that are, you know,
it's like, He took the simplicity of what it means
to tell a joke, and he does it so well.
He's one of the, in my opinion, I love Jerry Seinfeld.
I think he's one of the best comedians out there.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Me too. I'm just saying, I didn't know why they
just didn't come up with a real joke. I guess
it's supposed to be so not funny, and then they
cut to the patient going....

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Right. I love Jerry Seinfeld. I think he's amazing. I
think Jerry Seinfeld, like, When I was a kid, Bill
Cosby himself was one of the dopest stand-up jump things
that I had ever seen. And my parents would let
me watch it because Bill Cosby didn't curse, right? And
I feel like Jerry Seinfeld is one of those people

(30:45):
that I can put my... You want to learn the
algorithm of how to tell a joke and how to
make it funny? I would play that documentary that he
had back in the day. What was it? Comedian? Was
that what it was called? where he starts off doing,
it's the anatomy of how he builds a set. And
it's one of the greatest.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
Well, I think that that one was, that's when he
like went back and like said, I'm going to do
all new material.

Speaker 4 (31:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
I'm going to start.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
They did a, they did a documentary that followed him
and other comics, but.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
And Chris rocks in it. Like a bunch of.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Comics will always use some of their go-to jokes forever.
Whereas he was like, no, I'm going to throw out
everything I've ever done, and I'm going to start from scratch,
which was pretty cool. I like that documentary. Yeah, it
is called Comedian.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, such a great storyteller he is. And I took
offense just now when you said they were trying to
make a bad joke, like as if Seinfeld told bad jokes.
He tells great jokes.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Okay, well, I hope I didn't offend you, Donald.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
No, I'm telling you right now, I took offense. I
took offense.

Speaker 5 (31:53):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
For him. For this New York native. For the dude
whose show is based on the building I grew up in.
I took offense.

Speaker 4 (32:02):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Do you watch Cars and Coffee with comedians?

Speaker 1 (32:07):
I don't watch any of his work. I just took offense.
I'm just saying. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
I would like the record to reflect that Donald has
never seen an episode of Seinfeld. He's never seen an
episode of drinking coffee with comedians in Cars.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
I have seen episodes of Seinfeld. I have seen several
episodes of Seinfeld.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
I told someone the other night that you had only
seen the finale of Breaking Bad. And they were like,
they had to like sit down. They were so upset
by this. They were like, who would do that?

Speaker 6 (32:40):
I did.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
I did. My wife was like, my wife binged the
whole shit. She binged all of it. And I wouldn't
watch any of it. She was like, you got to
watch this show. It's so good. And she was doing
it so she could be on time for the finale,
for the last season. So she watched everything within like
a six-month span. She watched every episode of Breaking Bad

(33:04):
just so she could watch the last season, right? I
didn't watch any of it. I didn't watch any of it.
I would walk into the room and I would see
shit and I'd be like, that's overacting. Oh my God,
he's overacting. And I would clown... I would clown certain spots,
knowing that, look, when you watch a show in its entirety,
there's a reason why certain things are done. But when

(33:26):
you just see little specific moments in it, you're lost, one.
And two, you don't get what's going on, and so
therefore you're very judgmental.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
I had a very bizarre.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
That being said, that last episode is one of the best...
things I've ever seen on television. And I've never watched
one episode of Breaking Bad in my life.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
That last episode- The disconnect I have in my brain,
and I'm sure every person who has at least one
ear listening to this is thinking, then why would you
not go back and watch the show many people think
is one of the greatest of our lifetime?

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Because I saw the end. I know how it ends.
It's a waste of time to go back and see
all that shit. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Oh my God. All right, listen. I watched the finale
of Breaking Bad at Kate Hudson's house. She had a
soiree where they were going to do a viewing party
of the last episode. Now, in hindsight, I don't know
why I went to this. If you love the show,
you kind of just want to be like on your
couch focusing. But I thought it sounded fun. Now, you

(34:33):
know the guy who plays, Donald won't know, but you
guys know the guy who played Hank, the bald cop, right?
Wasn't his name Hank? I think so.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
Hold on. His neighbor.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
His neighbor and best friend, yes. What's that actor's name? Anyway,
the point is.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Isn't it Dean something?

Speaker 2 (34:49):
Thank you. It's by Dean Norris. Yeah, Dean Norris. All right,
so Dean Norris is a wonderful actor. With his head shaved,
he looks a lot like Bruce Willis. If you've ever
seen them next to each other, they could easily be brothers.
So I get to Kate Hudson's house and they've got

(35:10):
TVs set up You know, it's a party. There's multiple
places within her house to watch the show. I want
to pick a good location, so I find a good spot.
And I look over and then seated on the couch
next to me is Dean Norris. And sitting next to
Dean Norris is Bruce Willis. And there's not much more

(35:36):
to the story other than it was really weird because they...
They didn't know each other. It was clear they didn't
know each other and they had just met. It was
clear that they really, really look a lot alike. And
then there we were watching this elaborate finale with Dean
Norris sitting right there. It was very trippy. I wish

(35:57):
the story had more of a flourish ending. And then
I wrestled them both to the ground and tickled them.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Kate throws some dope parties, man. I've been to two
parties at Kate Hudson's house, thanks to you. And both
times I was like, holy shit, Leo's here? Best party
of my life.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
It's funny that you would bring up, of all actors, Leo.

Speaker 5 (36:24):
Are you surprised?

Speaker 2 (36:26):
I just wonder that of all actors that are in
the Screen Actors Guild, you decided to bring up one
actor specifically.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
Well, you know, I love Leonardo DiCaprio. It's just how
it goes. He's my favorite actor of my generation.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
You know, a lot of the fans are clamoring for
merch that says, I dock with Leo. And I think
that's a great idea.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
I'll call him if I could. I would call him
and I'd get him to sign off on it. I
know a lot of people, look, we used to be friends.
We're not, we don't talk much anymore unless we see
each other, but I would hit him up if I
could and say, Leo, I want to put out a
shirt or some merch that says, a mug that says,

(37:12):
I would dock Leo.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah, I'd wear a tank top that says, I'd dock Leo.
For fuck's sake, just stop talking about your willies. All right. Sorry, Jed. Sorry.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
All right. Let's get back to the show. Who knew
that Carla was scared of toilet snakes?

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yes. Carla is afraid of a snake crawling out of
the toilet.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Have you seen the video of the dude who went
to the bathroom and had to jump off the fucking
toilet because there was a snake coming out of it?

Speaker 4 (37:46):
No.

Speaker 5 (37:47):
Go on.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
You haven't seen this?

Speaker 8 (37:49):
No.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Somewhere in Florida, of course.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Of course. Of course.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
There is a man who was sitting on the toilet
and he jumped off the toilet because there is a
snake literally coming out of the toilet. Which means it's
like a water moccasin or some shit like that that
could really fucking do damage. I mean, I don't know
any other serpents that fucking swim. Like, I guess a

(38:18):
There's an anaconda. An anaconda swims. But it didn't look
like an anaconda.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
You're saying it came out of the toilet, like up
the sewage?

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Up the sewage, and it's coming out of this dude's toilet.
Look it up. Look it up.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
I will. I mean, a little tickle. If it was
just a little tongue lick, it might feel nice. Just
a little tickle.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Who doesn't like a tongue lick? But I'm thinking it's
some type of poisonous serpent or some shit like that
that will bite you.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
How about Elliot calling herself four-date Reed, which means she
waits until the fourth date to have sex with everyone?

Speaker 1 (38:58):
How about Elliot admitting the fact that she's crazy? She
says to Carla, Carla, you know that I'm crazy, right?
And she goes, yeah. She goes, I'm having a hard
time hiding it from Nurse Flowers.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Yeah. Well, later in the episode, she has a really
funny monologue about... That she just did a great, it
was written very well. It was funny, but she, she
just delivered it really funny about how fucking nuts she is.
And then, and then she's just, just finally, finally, finally,
she says to Rick Schroeder, like, you want to know,
this is why I'm hiding. And he just lets all
her fucking. crazy loose and it's really really funny and

(39:31):
then Rick Schroeder's like I'm so turned on right now
and then they go and like furiously make out.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
That was funny do you know why he's so turned
on why because crazy because crazy is good it gets
old quick but it's good in the beginning You can
find yourself somebody crazy in the beginning. You're like, holy shit,
we were doing so many crazy things.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
Oh, you mean crazy sexually or do you mean crazy,
like a crazy person? You mean crazy in bed?

Speaker 1 (40:00):
I mean crazy sexually. So what happens is crazy person
usually means crazy sexually. And so from crazy sexually, you're like,
holy shit, look at all the things we're doing. But
here's the thing. Crazy gets old real quick because at
some point you're like, yo, this person's fucking crazy.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
Yeah, but also, don't you worry sometimes if someone's too
nuts in bed that you're a little like, Jesus, they've
got 10,000 hours.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Who gives a fuck? Who cares? They're with you at
that moment. Who cares? Who cares? Dude, who the fuck
cares what happened before you and what's going to happen
after you? This was something I was hung up on
for so long. Oh my God, she's too experienced. Or,
oh my God, she's not experienced enough. Fuck that shit.
When you're with someone, you're with someone. And that's your

(40:46):
moment together. What happens before and after is irrelevant, dude.
It has nothing to do with you, so why worry
about it?

Speaker 2 (40:54):
All right. Well, I think that's good advice for people.
I'm sure there's other people out there who's crossed their
mind when their partner all of a sudden is doing
some position that not even the Kama Sutra had time
to draw, but they're like, where did this come from?

Speaker 1 (41:12):
That's your own hang-up. Honest to goodness, that's your own hang-up.
If what I do... is too advanced for you and
you're not having a good time, then you know what?
We shouldn't be together and vice versa.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
Your love, your love might be too much for me.
It might be like a double black diamond sex and
I'm just ready for, for blue square.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
Is there such thing as a blue square?

Speaker 2 (41:35):
Is that, is that, yeah, it goes green. It goes
green circle, blue square, black diamond, double black diamond.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Got it.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
And I, I, I'm just saying, you know, you might be,
a blue square, um, person in bed. And then all
of a sudden you're in bed with a double black
diamond person. You're like, Oh shit, this is scary. These
moguls are hard. I don't know how to keep this metaphor.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Listen, did someone die? As long as you don't die,
it's all good. Right? If you survive a double black diamond,
you're like, I'm gonna do that double black diamond again. Right.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
As long as you don't die.

Speaker 4 (42:15):
Right.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
As long as you survive.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Donald, why did golf clubs need socks? I've been dying
to know this my whole life. Why do you have
to put little booties on them? They get cold.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
No, it's just that dents and things like that happen
to clubs and scratches happen to clubs. And, you know,
it's all about what you see when you look down
at the ball and the club. So. If there's a
dent or a scratch on your club, it might throw
your alignment off. When I first started playing golf, I

(42:49):
didn't understand why all these people had socks on their clubs.
But it's actually to keep the shit looking so much...
You're used to a certain picture when you're playing golf
and you're looking down at a golf ball and your
driver or your three-wood or your hybrid club, you're used
to a certain picture. If there's a scratch on it,

(43:10):
that might throw off your swing. If there's a dent
in it, that might throw off your swing. So it's
important to take care of your clubs. When I first
started playing golf, I was like, that's bullshit until it
happens to you. And then you're like, oh, okay, I
get it now.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
But Donald, excuse me for not knowing this is true,
but it seems to me only certain clubs get little
dinky cozy socks. Not all the clubs get them.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
Right, because there are certain... Like your irons usually can
handle clinking against each other. Your woods.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
Your one wood. Your one wood.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Well, that's more like a driver. Your one wood is
a driver. But like your drivers and your woods, if
they get a dent on them, they're not as effective
as they would be if they were in good condition.
So you want to keep those... in pristine shape you
want to keep all your clubs if you paid a
thousand like them things ain't cheap like usually you pay

(44:08):
like a thousand dollars for clubs upward of a thousand
dollars for clubs and so you want to maintain that
investment you want to you want.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
To keep that all of your clubs or one club.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
For all of your clubs so like you go from
putter putter to driver you're spending upwards of a thousand
dollars usually there are some people there are some manufacturers
that make clubs that are like, I'm, I'm, I'm very lucky. I,
I am down with PXG and that's like the ultimate
club in golf. In my opinion, uh, they are the

(44:43):
dopest of the dopest. And because of that, you damn right. I,
I protect that shit. I protect my driver. I protect
my three wood. I protect my hybrids. I protect that.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Or you might want to change where you're playing because
where I play, they give you, a club and you
don't have to take care of it. You just pick one.
That's the right size for you.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
And you, you, you also play where they got windmills.
You also play where they got windmills.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
And freaking, there's no extra charge for the windmill. There's
no extra charge for the windmill.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
And there are snacks.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
Right.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
But there's snacks. There's snacks at real golf courses.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
We got to call it.

Speaker 1 (45:22):
We got to go to break. Let's go to break.
Let's go to break.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
We gotta, we gotta be right back after this break.

Speaker 7 (45:31):
And we're back hi there ladies and gentlemen please welcome
to the show we have nicholas.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
Hi nicholas hey how are y'all doing how are you
good to see you sir welcome.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
I am loving your COVID beard and hair.

Speaker 5 (46:01):
Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 8 (46:02):
Yeah, it's getting longer and longer. The beard I have
to keep. My wife said she'll leave me if I
ever get rid of it.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
You must look like a baby without it. I do.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
I'm nervous.

Speaker 5 (46:16):
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Don't be nervous.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
Don't be nervous.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
You're just sitting around talking with a couple friends. You
got Joelle and Daniel here. That's Donald.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Why are you sleep deprived? What is going on? What's
going on? Are those action figures in your background or no?

Speaker 8 (46:34):
Yeah, some of them are. There's Godzilla. There's a dog.
I got him on some travels. And then there's just
a bunch of mess. My wife and I are both teachers.
So this is our teacher show. We're teaching from home.
And so we have to switch in and out to
teach right now because we're all doing virtual.

Speaker 5 (46:49):
I'll show you the reason I'm sleep deprived.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Let's see if he's... Oh, here comes the baby, y'all.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
It's going to be a baby, y'all. It's going to
be a baby, y'all. Or a puppy.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
It better be a baby. It better not be a baby. Hey, Morgan.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Morgan and the baby.
You guys are those precious baby angels. Hello, cutie. Oh,
my gosh.

Speaker 5 (47:13):
He's so cute. He's Liam. He's our angel.

Speaker 8 (47:19):
He's a little going back on sleep regression right now,
so we're trying to see if we can get him
back to sleep at some point.

Speaker 5 (47:25):
So he's been staying up a lot of nights and stuff. Well, congratulations.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
That's very exciting.

Speaker 5 (47:30):
Thank you very much. Yeah, it's just been an exciting
week overall, so I'm super happy. Can I do one
thing right now?

Speaker 2 (47:37):
Anything you want.

Speaker 6 (47:38):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Well, he knocked over the chair, first of all. Are
you okay?

Speaker 2 (47:43):
I fell over.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Are you okay, dude?

Speaker 2 (47:45):
Nicholas may or may not be happy.

Speaker 5 (47:46):
No one can see me.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Nicholas, don't die, dude. Don't die, dude.

Speaker 5 (47:50):
I told you I was nervous.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
Don't be nervous. Okay.

Speaker 5 (47:54):
You guys know how you do it with a whiteboard.
And then I wrote, the day after that, I wrote, one,
ask a question on Fake Doctor's Real Friend.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
And it happened.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
And it happened. Thunders applause. Thunders applause, Dan. Turn your
key down. Turn your key.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
Turn your key. Turn your key.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
I turned my key. I turned my key. Nicholas has
held up a whiteboard. And it says goals at the
top because we did a segment talking about whiteboards and
writing down your goals. And the very first thing on
his goal list is ask a question on Fake Doctors,
Real Friends. And it is beautifully crossed out.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
And then after that, it's win a dance battle. Dude,
we can make that happen today too.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
But you better know how to dance.

Speaker 4 (48:37):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (48:37):
It's done.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
It's done.

Speaker 5 (48:40):
I'm not going to win that one right now.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Well, I'm really happy for you, man. And we joke
around 99% of the time here, but I really believe
in this stuff. I really believe in writing your goals
down and manifesting things and looking at it every single day.
And I've seen a handful of people out there who've
sent me sort of jokey, or maybe they're not joking,
screenshots of the whiteboard they got. And I really am

(49:05):
a big fan of it. I think looking at something
every day, even if it's going in your brain subconsciously
and going, God, what have I done today to further
that goal? I think that it's very, very effective. So listen, Nicholas,
you're walking proof. It worked. Here you are on the show.

Speaker 5 (49:22):
I know. It's so exciting. Yeah, I totally believe it.
I told my students that.

Speaker 8 (49:28):
I try to put a lot of positivity in the world,
and I try to do positive stuff. And so I
just also try to think positive thoughts. So I'm like,
if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but I'm going
to keep on trying. And so, yeah, I've sent Joel
a few emails and this is the one that got picked.
So I was like, hey, it worked, it worked.

Speaker 5 (49:44):
So I'm super excited.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
Good, good. Well, you made me happy. You made me happy.
I just, the fact that we can make a minuscule
difference in your life in any way makes us happy.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
All right, wait, hold up. I have a random question
for Nicholas.

Speaker 4 (49:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
Have you ever watched Eight is Enough?

Speaker 5 (50:00):
Yeah, it was a long time ago, but I've seen it.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
Do you remember Nicholas from Eight is Enough?

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Yeah, he was so cute.

Speaker 5 (50:07):
He's still cute, but yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
He had the bowl haircut.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
The bowl haircut. He was like Joey Lawrence. Joey Lawrence
was Joey and everything. I feel like Nicholas was Nicholas
and everything. This is just a non sequitur moment. A
non sequitur moment for me.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Yeah, but Joey Lawrence really always played Joey. And I
always wondered why. Does he have it in his contract
that the character is going to be named Joey? The
guy never played anyone not named Joey.

Speaker 8 (50:32):
Apparently he did that too tony was always tony in
almost every show that he ever did.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Even on taxi yeah.

Speaker 8 (50:39):
Taxi then it was tony uh and who's the boss
and then he was tony he just came out with
another netflix show a little while ago he was always
tony in every show all right.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
Nicholas do you have a question for uh for any
of us it could be about any topic in the world.

Speaker 5 (50:54):
I have a question, and then I also have a
fix it for your favorite segment.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Don't worry.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
We're excited to fix your life. We're going to fix
your life.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
We can fix anything.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
You got a new baby, a beautiful wife. We're going
to fix your life.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
This new segment, a lot of new segments hitting the show, Donald.
But fix it, I think, is the world's favorite. Everyone
is clamoring about all the fixing we're doing.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
They want me to fix their life, and they want
you to fix their life.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
Well, we're going to do it. All right, Nicholas, question first.
Go ahead.

Speaker 4 (51:23):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (51:24):
Question first, and this is one that was really hit home.

Speaker 8 (51:27):
I was trying to think of a lot of shows
before y'all's that had like two male characters that were
very open with their emotions and so loving. And I remember,
like I had a roommate, we lived together forever. We like,
that was what we did. We were just very open
and loving. loving I remember we it wasn't just like
toxic masculinity where you had to be you know rah
rah rah all the time and it was just like

(51:48):
I really thought like Scrubs spoke to me and I
think the more I watched it the more seeing y'all's
friendship it was for me it was a way to
just kind of be like oh I can be open
with my feelings and I can say I love you
and even now like as you know growing up and
raising my son that's something I want too I want
this openness and I don't like you guys have talked
about it a lot but even in the first season

(52:10):
it was very there was very a lot more Even
before y'all had built a lot of chemistry and stuff
outside of the show. So I didn't know, like, did
Bill bring that in or did he just build off
because y'all just instantly connected?

Speaker 5 (52:21):
Like, how did that happen?

Speaker 1 (52:24):
I don't know how that happened. That's a good question because.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
I think it was both of us, two things happening simultaneously.
It was my and Donald's friendship really growing and becoming
really true best friends in real life. And then we
were so like that. that I think that he started
to lean it even more in that direction.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
I feel like it was always... JD and Turk were
always meant to be the relationship that every guy wishes
they could have with another male. But Zack and I,
we became that relationship And then it was like, well,

(53:10):
then I know, let's go even further with it. You
know what I mean? I don't know how that happened.
That's a great question because it started off that way
and then we just ate it up and took it
to the next level, I guess.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Yeah, I don't think if you look at the pilot,
there's not a whole lot of like commentary on masculinity.
I mean, my character's a little nerdy, but it's more
about like, about me and Donald being best bros. And
there's stuff about like race. There's stuff about like, Hey,
if there's a rap song and the N words in there,
am I allowed to sing it? And he's like, no.
And I'm like, okay, good. I needed to know that.
Thank you very much. So there's, I think Bill wanted

(53:50):
to like talk about two close friends who were, who, um,
who were best buds and, and, and race barely even
came into the equation. But I think this sort of,
commentary we started doing on what is traditional masculinity sort
of developed over time with me and Donald's relationship.

Speaker 8 (54:09):
I really liked it. I mean, it was very freeing,
I guess. And I couldn't think of any other show
before y'all's that had that type of relationship. It was,
you know, you think of all these ones and it's
just two dudes hanging out, drinking beer, stuff along those lines.
But this was, this felt very like an authentic friendship.
And I mean, it was, but it was just, it
was very, I really enjoyed that.

Speaker 5 (54:27):
So thank you for that.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
Nicholas, I agree with you on that. because on television
you don't see it, but in real life, that is
how guys are. You know what I mean? I remember
my best friend in high school, he's also an actor now.
My best friend in high school was Dash Myhock, right?
Him and this other kid, Kevin Jordan. But Dash Myhock,
who is now on Ray Donovan and has been in

(54:50):
several movies and stuff like that, he and I were
best friends in high school. And we both moved to
Los Angeles at the same time and I remember one
time seeing him and his roommate, who just happened to
be Josh Hopkins, who was on one of Bill's shows.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Cougar Town.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
Yeah, Cougar Town. And I saw them act the way
Zach and I act towards each other. And it was like, oh,
Zach and I aren't, you know, we're not, obviously we're
one of a kind because we're who we are, but
this relationship is out there. There are plenty of people

(55:29):
out there that are like Turk and JD, that are
like Zach and Donald. Now, I hate to talk about
myself in the third person. I apologize for that.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
But there are a bunch of people out there that
are like that. It's just not portrayed on television in
a positive way that Zach and I were able to
portray Turk and JD. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (55:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
But I really like that you said that that's going to...
I don't mean to imply that it was... from watching us,
but the way you talked about wanting to raise your son,
you know, not programming him to be filled with the
same bullshit that a lot of us were, were, were, were.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
Programmed with, right? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 5 (56:09):
It's like the same, like I, I didn't drink beer
until I was 26.

Speaker 8 (56:12):
I was always drinking appletinis and I was drinking, you know, these,
and like everybody gave me a hard time for it,
but I was like, well, yeah, That's doing it like
I can do it. Like it just, it was very
free and I loved it. And I was just, I
don't know. I really did appreciate that, especially growing up.
Cause it meant I could be more open with the
people around me and stuff. And now, you know, you're
older and you're set in your ways and you're like, yeah,

(56:33):
this is just who I am.

Speaker 4 (56:34):
I'm okay.

Speaker 5 (56:34):
But when you're younger, it's kind of hard to, to
be as open.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
As, as I think.

Speaker 5 (56:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
Cause you're judged, you're judged and, and other people's judgment
has an effect on you, which it shouldn't. You know
what I mean? And when you become an adult and
you realize that, you know, everybody else is dealing with
their own shit and you need to deal with your own,
who gives a fuck what everybody thinks about you?

Speaker 2 (56:57):
It really warms my heart, though. I got to tell you,
when you say something like that, the show in some
way inspired you to be more who you truly are,
whatever that is. I mean, I think that's what we're
all striving for is to be in relationships that allow
us to be who we truly are. And, you know,
we were just at the time making a comedy, but
then we did kind of tiptoe into something cultural about

(57:21):
masculinity and talking about what is acceptable in our society.
And this was 20 years ago. As we all know,
we're still battling a lot of these issues, you know,
in 2020.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
That's crazy. All right.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Now, how can we fix your life? Because that's what
we're really good at. That's where our specialty is.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
Nicholas, I'm going to fix your life right now.

Speaker 5 (57:44):
Well, you're the one I'm going to ask for. Number five.
It says sleep more.

Speaker 8 (57:49):
Baby boy is going through a sleep regression right now.
And I wanted to know, Donald, you have so many children.
I was wondering, do you have any tips on methods
for sleep training and how to get them to sleep
more at night?

Speaker 1 (58:04):
Okay. First of all, how old is your kid?

Speaker 5 (58:06):
He's three months, three.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
And a half.

Speaker 5 (58:07):
He's about to be four. And the books say that
this is about the time when you start doing it. Right.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
So you're trying to sleep train right now, right?

Speaker 8 (58:14):
Yeah, I think we're going to start this weekend because
he's been staying up most nights for these last few nights.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
So when the baby starts crying, you kind of have
to ignore it. It is very heartbreaking, but you kind
of have to ignore it and trust that the baby
will put himself back to sleep.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
How long do you have to wait while the baby's screaming?
I mean, that must be really.

Speaker 1 (58:43):
Hard for people. You know when there's a problem. You
know what I mean? You know if it's... Here's the thing.
You have a healthy baby, right? Am I correct in
saying that? Correct. So you know when there is a problem.
Right now, it's just like every kid out there in
the world, at a very young age, you're being tested

(59:07):
to see if you will jump when called for. I
promise you what I'm telling you is true, dude. Listen,
we were very lucky and we hired a night nurse
and all of that stuff. And the night nurse explained
to us the whole situation too. It really is you
being able to say, I know you're crying. I know

(59:32):
you want me right now. Sort this out for yourself.
And if your baby's crying for over an hour, then yes,
obviously run into the room. 45 minutes, obviously run into
the room and see what's going on. But most likely,
it's not going to last for more than 15 to
20 minutes, and then they're going to go back to sleep.

Speaker 5 (59:53):
All right, we'll give it a shot.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
All right, Nicholas, do you think we've fixed your life?

Speaker 5 (59:58):
Yeah, we're going to see.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
A thunderous applause. A thunderous applause, Dan. A thunderous applause.
I think we did it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Nicholas, it doesn't happen overnight. It's going to take some time.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
No, we fixed his life, Donald. Stop fucking up the segment.
It fucking worked.

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
You're welcome. Nicholas, you're welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Nicholas, you're welcome.

Speaker 5 (01:00:17):
Thank you guys so much for fixing my life. Thank you, Nicholas.

Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
Good luck with the baby, Nicholas.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
Good luck.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Bye, buddy.

Speaker 5 (01:00:24):
I'm sorry I fell out of my chair.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
No, you're amazing. I'll always remember it. I'll always remember it.
Nicholas should put on that whiteboard, learn not to fall
out of chair. What a nice man. Balance.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
Speaking of babies, JD fights a demon baby in this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
That was funny when he fights the demon baby, huh?

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
Not only was it a demon baby, it was a
demon baby doll. Because the baby didn't move. And it
looks like you're.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
Holding the baby. No, it was so bad. But I
think the badness of it made it even funnier. That
I'm like running. And then I fall out of frame
with it. Oh, my God. I had a field day
with that fake baby. Hey, guess what? This is the
very first episode where the janitor meets Turk.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
I was about to say that. Turk and the janitor
finally meet for the first time.

Speaker 4 (01:01:15):
And.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
The janitor says to Turk, I don't care. He's like,
what's your name? He's like, oh, hi, I'm Turk.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
Who are you? By the way, you're so excited to
meet him. I mean, JD must have told you about
this janitor. And you're like, I'm Dr.

Speaker 4 (01:01:25):
Turk.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
You've got like a smile on your face.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
Like, Dr.

Speaker 8 (01:01:27):
Turk.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
He's like, I don't care.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
Also, when he's doing the with the fist, and he
punches me, and I laugh when he goes, when I, yeah,
I laugh the whole time.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
You can see, if you go back and watch, you guys,
you can see that Donald is fucking holding in his
laughter at that. You thought Neil was hilarious in that moment.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Well, and then what about, this was my first time
working with Neil on a show.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Yeah. That scene in the office with, uh, with Ted,
the lawyer, our Sam Lloyd is hilarious. Uh, I really
laughed out loud at that. We go in and we
tell him, Hey, um, we go in and we say,
he goes, Hey fellas, uh, always nice to have some visitors.
What's the dealio? And we're like, uh, Hey, uh, Ted, if,
if two doctors were hitting golf balls off the roof
and they caused the car accident and now the guys

(01:02:11):
in the ICU were, Would that be a big problem?
And there's like a long pause and he's just frozen.
And we go, Ted? And he goes, hey fellas, always
nice to have visitors. What's the dealio? He just totally.
He totally went into like a dark hole. And then
I laughed when you put out your fist. You put

(01:02:32):
out your fist to fist bump him and then he
slaps it like he's slapping you five.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I... Dude, it's always great to
watch him at the end of the episode when he's
on the roof with the Todd and he's hitting golf
balls off the roof. He's like, I wonder, I just
can't believe I, where did I get the idea to
hit golf balls off the roof? And Todd's like, yeah, man. Hey,
do you mind if I strip down to the banana hammock?
And he looks back at him and he's like, oh God.

(01:03:00):
And he's about to hit the golf ball.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
Why is Todd, is Todd sunbathing? Why does he feel
the need to get into the fucking fire covered banana
hammock at this moment?

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
This isn't the traditional fire. This isn't the traditional one either.
This is like a, this is one though. It's a
little different. It doesn't look the same. It's not as flammable.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
It had flames on it, but it had flames on it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
But it wasn't as flame on as the, as the
real Todd one.

Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
You're saying the fire, the fire is burning lower on his,
on his banana hammock?

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
On his, on his banana hammock in this episode. That's
a good thing. We should bring Todd in right now. Todd. Hey,
let's ask Rob. Here's a great, great moment to ask Rob.

Speaker 5 (01:03:40):
Todd talk.

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Todd Talk. Rob, the Todd
has had several banana hammocks. What was the most comfortable
for you?

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
And is it us, or if you don't mind referencing
the one that you wear at the end of My Karma,
why does that banana hammock feel slightly different from some
of your other more notorious banana hammocks? And feel free
not to write this in a long, prepared paragraph.

Speaker 1 (01:04:07):
Or feel free to write this in a long, prepared paragraph.

Speaker 2 (01:04:10):
Whatever you prefer.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
Whatever you want. Comfortable?

Speaker 4 (01:04:17):
The Todd Hammock's up for the people. Comfort is of
no importance. Now, after Season 2, Episode 1 with the
premiere of the Banana Hammock in Mirror Todd, it made
a big impression. There's a lot of talk. A lot
of scuttlebutton. I think they wanted to tone it down,
tamp it down, tape it down. But you can't keep
the big dog down. In this episode of My Karma,
that was no banana hammock.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
It was a speedo.

Speaker 4 (01:04:40):
I should swim the 100-meter freestyle in the Olympics in
that thing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
Never again, Five. And please, if you're listening to this,
hire Rob on Cameo. You can send your scrubs, friends,
messages from the Todd.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
He just had a birthday, guys. He just had a birthday.
He turned.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
I know. I put him on my Insta. 53, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
I think it was 53 or 54. One or the other.

Speaker 2 (01:05:06):
Yeah. He looks good.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
He looks real good, man. I'm telling you. When we
were doing the show, he would always joke that he
was much older than us. And he was. He really was.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
Yeah, but he looks good. He's got nice skin. You know,
the episode really is about, I felt at the end,
was about vulnerability, about putting yourself out there, being afraid
of how you're going to be judged. Several characters are
afraid of being vulnerable. And I just thought that was
another theme that crept up for me. I just wrote

(01:05:42):
down vulnerability in relationships and how we're all wearing this
armor to protect our hearts. But the characters in this
episode are going out of their way to put themselves
out there and be brave.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
I wish I would have thought of that when I
was doing the recap of the show.

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
Well, your recap was so thorough. It was so incredibly thorough.
I don't know where you would have had time in
the 30 seconds to do that. All right, everybody, that's
our show. Donald, anything else you want to tell the people?

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Yes, I do want to tell all the frontline workers
still at this moment right now, we still want to
shout you out and give you all the love we
possibly can. And I don't just mean the frontline workers
in the hospitals. I mean the frontline workers that work
at supermarkets, that work at testing sites, the frontline workers

(01:06:37):
that are out there, the essential job people that are
out there in the streets right now. You are living
a life that a lot of people are afraid to live,
and I respect you, and I support you from my
closet right now because I am afraid to do those things.

(01:06:58):
So that being said, God bless you, and I support
you 100%.

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
Thank you, everybody, for listening. Don't forget to subscribe to
the show. Tell your friends about the show because you
might be loving the show, but you're not telling all
your friends. Why aren't you saying... Dear so-and-so, again, you'll
put your friend's name there unless their name is so-and-so.
Why aren't you listening to the podcast? It's getting more

(01:07:23):
bad shit every week. You got to check this thing out.
Rate the show. Subscribe to the show. Follow Joelle and
Daniel on Twitter. We love you guys. We'll see you
next time.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
Five, six, seven, eight.

Speaker 3 (01:07:35):
Stories about show we made. About a bunch of docs
and nurses.

Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
In a Canada who love making ice.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
And he's got stories that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
We all should know.

Speaker 3 (01:07:49):
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear
our Scrubs Rewatch Show

Speaker 2 (01:07:55):
With Zach and Donald.