December 31, 2025 • 48 mins
Gladys and Elijah open up to one another about their hopes for growth, resolution, and deeper love in their relationship. Both speak candidly about their desire for honesty and understanding within their family. Elijah expresses his confusion about certain family conflicts and concerns, yearning for accountability and clarity. Through their stories, you'll witness a mother's unwavering pride in her son's boldness and kindness, as well as Elijah's reflections on his mother's nurturing influence. Their shared moments reveal the profound connections between them and their hopes for a healed, harmonious future. Discover the significance of consistency, the joy of cooking, and the importance of self-care and service to others in their lives.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
I'm Eliot, Connie, and this is family theory.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Today.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I get the privilege of sitting with a mother and son,
Gladys and Elijah, who are profoundly connected, extremely reflective, and
very honest about where they are in life right now.
During the session, Gladys even says she hopes this conversation
leads to growth, resolution, and even deeper love, and Elijah
(00:30):
shares something just as powerful. He says he's trying to
understand his own patterns so he's not manipulated by them
and not mastered by them. That right there tells you
a lot about why this conversation matters. Neither of them
is afraid of accountability, neither of them is running from
self reflection. What they're wrestling with isn't effort or love
(00:53):
or lack thereof. It's how to keep moving forward without
confusing consistency with perfection or yesterday with tomorrow's ideals. This
session is about recognizing what's already there, commitment, love, discipline, creativity,
and learning how small, repeated patterns can become stabilizing forces
(01:15):
in moments of anxiety, uncertainty, and estrangement. Elizah puts it
plainly when he says It's not that I'm irresponsible, It's
a matter of consistency, and that's the issue. And Gladys
wonders if she could wake up tomorrow and just do
things a little better and move with more intention. This
(01:37):
conversation about what happens when we stop asking ourselves to
be flawless and start allowing ourselves to be human.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
So what are your best hopes from talking with me?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Well, first, I'm so excited for Elijah and I to
have this opportunity. So my hope is that whatever does
come out, we are as honest as possible, And of
course I know that we love one another and that
we can really rise from anything.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
What do you want this honesty to do? If we
have a whole conversation you're both really honest with one another,
how do you want it to impact your lives together?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Growth, resolution, love, even deeper love and understanding as far
as our own individuality, Aaron, where we're at now, just
everything that has to do with moving forward in the
greatest way that we possibly can be as a son
(02:38):
and mother and as like just who we are as
human beings.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
So if we can help grow resolution and even a
deeper love, you would be pleased. Well, yes, Elijah, what
about you? What do you hope would be then that
one from us starting?
Speaker 4 (02:58):
I think understanding most of all, it's uh, there's things
that just don't add up, like when it comes to
dynamics between like all not just Mom's side of the family,
but a lot of the adults from all adults.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
From my side of the family.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
There's things that I'm confused about in terms of conflict
or issues. It's not necessarily whose fault it is, but
rather who's taking responsibility for what? And I think we
all have something to take responsibility for. I am not
without flaw, even if I didn't start something, or if
(03:34):
I did start something.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
And how do you hope this taking of accountability makes
a difference for you, Elijah, your mom, the relationship with
you guys, or the whole family, Like how do you
hope this like acknowledgment of roles and accountability makes a difference.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Being able to understand my own flaws and moving forward
so I'm not manipulated by them or not being mastered
by them. In a sense, it's I can take the
moment to realize what I'm doing wrong in a situation
and therefore take the steps to correct myself.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
If you could take more steps to correct yourself after
a start feeling you'd be pleased by it. Yes, Yeah,
looks like you're sipcake. What else would you like to achieve? Low?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I mean, it's interesting because I just had like a
bit of a com like a I'm in a bit
of like a strained area with my stepmam right now.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
And it's interesting because.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
It's the same I just realized it's the same pattern
for specifically women, I think. And I was just wondering
a lot of times I have another therapist I'm talking
to that I was just wondering if these issues are
just something because the common and denominas is me and
the fact that the people I'm having the issues with
(05:04):
the most are female.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
And so it's.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
A bit of a I'm wondering, like why just keep
happening in a sense.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Guessing that whatever this thing is that keeps happening, you
don't want it to continue happening. Yeah, No, what would
you rather have happened, Elanda in those relationships?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Not as much fighting, not as much confusion, more ease?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Definitely?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, how would that help you to have more e.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
It would help me because I wouldn't have to be
so stressed out anymore. I could be more comfortable where
I'm not comfortable.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Okay, you know, comfortable in general or comfortable within these relationships.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
I think in general, And like, it's both because part
of it it's like I am talking to women outside
of my mom set, mom and everyone else. But it's
also sometimes like there is this hesitation and caution and
even skepticism that comes from just me interacting with women
in general.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
So somehow all of this you know, conversation, if that
led to you being more comfortable in your interaction with
women in general, you'd be pleased by that. Yeah, all right, cool, Well,
before we talk about anything else, I want to just
ask you guys a couple of questions to get to
know you together. Is that okay? Yes, gladys, you are
(06:37):
fully responsible for this young man's presence on this earth.
What is your favorite thing about him? I know he's
not perfect and there's probably some things. Man, he drives
me nuts when he does this or says this or
blah blah blah, But what is your like if this
kid lives to be one hundred and fifty years old?
I hope these things about him absolutely never change.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
That in itself is a big Elijah everything. From the
moment that I knew that I was having a son,
from the moment that I met Elijah when he came
out my womb, he has always been to me the
beauty and light in the struggle and the internal struggle.
(07:23):
Let me give you a little story. Elijah, who was
maybe four or five years old. I go into this
art museum and it's artists are like, you know, giving
their all and showing their stuff. And then there are
a couple of artists that go on stage and they're
doing spoken word, and I've always I was so impressed
by them, but always so afraid to be in front
(07:45):
of a stage and like speaking words spoken word, And
at the time was the only kid in the art gallery.
And he started to raise his hand because he wanted
to go up on stage and say something like you know,
and and I've always known that I'm not here to
stop Blaijah and who he wants to be because at
(08:07):
the youngest of ages he was so dynamic. If he
lived to be one hundred and fifty years old, it
would be.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
For him to have.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
True strength and happiness internally, for him to be prosperous
in everything that he does, for him to live in
his true light of who he is, to speak and
connect his truth. Because he's always been someone who has
shown me not to fear certain things. He was always bold,
(08:42):
He's always shown me how to protect him. I had
to straighten up to not fear, to fight for what
was right. Like you know that he came into my
world in a time that things were gonna get real dark,
and so I respect so many, so many ways that
he's just showed me how to be a better person.
(09:02):
I just want the I want the world for him,
and I want him to know that he is fresh
from the wound.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
I said to him.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
He was born in Los Angeles, California. However he's born
to the world and he's the world's child. So whatever
that is for him, that's where I want him to be.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
How old was he that night? At the spoken word
of any four or.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Five years old?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
And he went on stage and he said a high
cool which I have never known what a high coup was?
It told somebody told me so. Elijah always been that
human being in the world, even before he could speak.
Elders would literally stop. It didn't matter we lived in
Korea town, people from different ethnic backgrounds would stop to
(09:43):
address him, and he was straight on page. Because my
biggest thing and my biggest prayer when I found out
that I was pregnant was to protect him from not
just the world, but from my own darkness, and so
in that he just was always someone who connected without
(10:06):
saying any type of word. It was just his present,
like you know, and so he taught me how to
like I couldn't allow my doubts overshadow his light. And
it wasn't until I named him immediately and after his
father found out, the name just meant splendid light, and
I was like, that's him all the way, that individual.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
What's your favorite thing about your mom, who I also
assume is not perfect, But what is the thing that
you hope she never changes because you happen to enjoy
this particular quality of trade above any other.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
My mom is a very kind and open person.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
I like to think that I've gone I've learned my
habits of affection and while from her and everyone I've
ever met there, I think this is like probably the
most like to highlight her character.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
This is probably the best story.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
We have a friend at one point, he was homeless
and there was a couple other people along with him.
I don't really know who they are, but basically what
happened is a Mom ended.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Up meeting them. They were going through some struggles.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
One of them women was pregnant, and basically she ended
up helping them along. Like there was at one point
like we were visiting them and we ended up staying
at a hotel together. I forgot what was the thing, mom,
that we were doing again, it was like to help
do something.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
We were finding a program for him, a drug program
that he could do work release from that program.
Speaker 5 (11:44):
Right, right, and yeah and so in Yeah, So basically
we really helped him.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Long, Like I've been driving with him multiple times, and
he got married not too long ago, and I took
photos and me and Mom took photos at his wedding.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
He's just grown so much much.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I don't know if without Mom's health he would have
gone to that point in his life.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Yeah, it's just that's one of the things I really
love about the most.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
And a very open person with emotions too, and some
of the most fondest moments I have here when I
ever see her cry either happy tears, when she's praying
or entering a situation like where she doesn't like where she.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
Has to let it out.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
I usually just walk like I'm usually in the other
rooms minding my own business. But as student, as I hear,
I just walk into the room and curl around her
and get in a hugger until like until like the
tears stop. I don't really say anything, I just like,
that's just how that is how I've learned to love
from my mom.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Oh wow, Elliott, I just shared what I think I
shared this on our first my solo but just what
he said right now of like coming into the room
and automatically knowing when something is wrong. When he was
three years old, we were driving and I was really
sad my life had changed with him dramatically. He looked
(13:04):
out the window and said, Mom, where there's a will,
there's a way at three, Like you know what I mean.
So I'm not just messing with no ordinary human being
like like I truly bow because he shows shows me
a lot.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Don't say like like bow.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Like you know namyo horden gey kill bow.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Do probably would you? Just thinking by the way I practiced.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Ntroned Ice shown in this Buddhism, and it's the prayer
numb yo horing gay kill, numb yo horing gay kill,
numb yo horring gay kill. So I've been practicing. Yeah,
I've been practicing. Uh. This October will be twenty two years.
And I really found the practice because when I found
out I was pregnant, it was serious and I was afraid.
(13:53):
I was about to live in La Vida Loca in
in California, and I was in the scene and Elijah
has said, I'm so open that I was not at
a good place when I was pregnant, and I was frightened,
and I sincerely prayed to God and asked to become
(14:15):
the greatest mother that I possibly could be, and to
protect my child from my darkness in the world's darkness.
I church shopped for a year, and when I found
out about nietzsche Buddhism, I knew about it because of
Tina Turner's movie that I saw at fifteen years old,
What Glove Got to Do with It? And I was like,
(14:36):
oh no, and my friend was like, how do you
even know that? I was like, that's how Tina left
ikes Hat. And then when Elijah, my friend and I
went to the culture center in Los Angeles called the
Friendship Center. I literally heard angels and I never left.
And so this has been my practice since Elijah's been
(14:59):
in the world.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Buddhism.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Is it called that phrase that you keep using that
I can't pronounce?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Is that what it's called Buddhism?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (15:09):
The organization, it's the Soka gat Guy, which is a
no priesthood within We're a lay Buddhist organization. The prayer
is nammo horingey kill n a m mio hoo, m
yo h o ring gay is r e n g
(15:32):
e and then ko is k yo. In short terms,
it just I devote myself to the mystic law, cause
and effect through sound. It's a beautiful philosophy and it's
something that has shown me the power of my own
life and the interconnection of life and death and everything
(15:54):
in between. And it's allowed me to be the the
mother that I needed to be, and it still gives
me the opportunity to become the mother that I truly
want to be.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Wow, Elijah has your mother's passion and like entrance into
the world of this practice. Has she ever brought you
into it or do you ever join? I've joined her
multiple times.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
I remember constantly going with her to the Buddhist Center
when I was younger. Now I'm not a practitioner myself,
but I am never opposed to chantion with my mom
whenever she asked me to. We have many close friends
within the organization.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
And I go there. Well, it's in Atlanta, so I
can't really go anymore, but I used to go there.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
It's everywhere, It's everywhere.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
But the one that used to go with you, was it? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (16:51):
Yeah, right, yeah, and so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
And what I was saying before was when she I
was praying, in those times where she got emotional and
teared up, those are oftentimes at her old turkeys, and
so that's when I would often just join her and
by her.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Oh well, thank you guys. That's really that's really helpful.
And I normally don't ask a question as generic is
what I'm about to ask. But how would the two
of you notice that your life got better if somehow
overnight mysteriously who knows how the earth shape the grane
(17:30):
move algorithm changes, But because you were sleep, you don't
know that it happened when you woke up the next day.
What would be your first indicator that like life is
somehow better, Like I'm somehow a better version of myself
(17:51):
as I wake up today, How would the two of
you notice that?
Speaker 5 (17:54):
I don't think there's any.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
One thing for me specifically would indicate that my life
has gone better. I think where I am right now,
I'm working towards trying to build a better life. Something
that I struggle with at times is a lack of
discipline and a lack of being able to keep to
my schedules and keep to my word. And it's not
(18:18):
like I'm lying or not being responsible, but it's a
matter of consistency that is the issue. So it is
I think that if I were starting to do stuff
consistently as I said, I'm going to do constantly putting
in my calendar and really putting my best effort forward,
(18:40):
I think that would be the sign that things are
going to get better, not essentially getting better if if
it were, if it was a sign I would get better.
This is just a simple thing. Did I tell you
I was trying to make a trying to build a
bus like mini home, I would be on my own
in a renovative bus.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah. Basically yes, do you do you really want to
live in a renovated bus. Yeah, yeah, where do you
want to put it? Elijah? Like do you want it
to be in DC? You wanted to be in Alberta, Canada?
In northern Where do you want this bus to be?
Speaker 4 (19:16):
I don't necessarily have any direct place because for me,
it's like I don't necessarily want to be held down
by like a job.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
Or like a location.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
I'd rather be able to travel as much as I
would want, as much as finances could allow me to. Right,
I don't want to settle down until I, you know,
actually explore more and see. Okay, this is where I
think I could really settle down with the wife and
kids and build a good life for them. But uh yeah,
for now, it's just more of just like renovated, Like
(19:47):
I want to work in schools for a bit while
I also work on my writing and storytelling career. So yeah,
I think that's more just the image I have in mind.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
So, Elijah, if this miracle happened to and you somehow
became this better version of you, what time would you
wake up tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Thirty seven?
Speaker 2 (20:11):
When you opened your eyes, what would be the very
first clue you would notice that would make you pause
for a minute and be like, wait, sometimes a little bit.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
The windows, I don't really I've all momy.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
You could tell me if I'm wrong, But it's been
a while since I've lived in a place where I've
had a lot of windows allowing me to see the outside.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
Oftentimes it felt dark or confined.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
Yeah, and I think just being able to wake up
and see that there I can see the outside, or
I can open my windows and see the spacious outside.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
I have light in my plane. That's why I think
would be different.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Is the place that you sleep now, does it have
windows in that kind of light?
Speaker 4 (20:59):
It has windows, but the light doesn't really come in
that well. It barely reaches like a foot or two
from the window because I'm in the back of the
building right and there's trees all around, so there's not
really a bunch of light coming in.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
So if you woke up tomorrow in your current environment,
not a bunch of light coming in. But if you
woke up and you notice the window and you notice
the light, even if it was minimal, that would be
a sign to you that would be different. Yeah, Okay, Mama,
about you, what would you notice on a day when
you woke up somehow after this miracle being a little
(21:35):
bit better version of you.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I would go a lot with what Elijah said, like
just as far as consistency, right, I already wake up
and feel like and have me myself. And I thought,
like before I go to sleep and when I wake up, like,
you know, I could I have done better? How is
my behavior towards the people that are around me? Like
those type of things I always ask. I know that
(21:57):
I am growing. However, if I could wake up tomorrow
and magically have what I want to have, like I
would be out on my own, like as far as
my own property land wide.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
You're not there yet, right, Nope, not there yet.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
So this thing happens in your current environment. You wake
up tomorrow in your current environment, but for whatever reason,
you are a better year.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Because of this conversation. This will make me a better
me tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
In wake what time would it be?
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I really like the morning time. I like getting up
when there's nothing else that's happening. So I like four
in the morning because I feel like four in the morning,
I can get up, have my own time, my own
peace of mind. I live with my mother, her husband,
and my auntie, and three cousins. So you know, in
the morning, there's like people get up and we'll have you.
So I would like to have my own time in
(22:49):
getting up and being in prayer and thankful and calculating
what my day would be and take those moods. But
as of now, waking up tomorrow, I already feel like
a better person because I know what just right now,
what this entails for my light and my future.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I don't know if you've noticed, but Elijah, when you
said waking up in the morning at four am, Elijah
went like this, So you two are those like crazy
morning people.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
I'm guessing when she said that I love the mornings,
that's awesome me.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
I wouldn't wake up at four o'clock, teck, now I
need my baty wrest.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
But but you Drew love them, yes, okay, And Elijah,
if you woke up like six thirty seven and you
started to notice, I just feel like a better version
of me, and I'm noticing the windows.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
And the light in a way that really pleases me.
How would you let your mom know that, for whatever reason,
on this day, I feel like a better version of me.
How would your mom find that out? How would you
let your mom know that, for whatever reason, on this day,
(24:06):
I feel like a better version of me. How would
your mom find that out?
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I think she would find out after I made breakfast
in my kitchen, specifically making foods that I never got
to make before with mom or my parents in a
living with now that gross in my character, that I
think she would acknowledge full of joy at the fact
that there are things I never got to make, and
that I love cooking. I've always wanted to make Chiro's
(24:32):
in Jamaican patties, and I can't.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Really do that where I'm at right now.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
But sharing my love of cooking is how I would
share that miracle.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Okay, how would you do that? Would you text her?
Would you take a picture of what you How would
you share with her Mom's in Atlanta? How would you
share this love of cooking with her?
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I would text her and send her a picture and
ask if she wanted the recipe and she said yes,
I would send it Basically.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Now, Mom, I'm gonna guess you've gotten millions of text
messages from him over the years when he texts you
about his food. On this day, how would you know
an even better version of my son is texting me, like,
(25:20):
what would be a clue? That would be, like, I've
got lots.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
To text regards from him because he's feeding himself well,
Like that's always it's always a concern.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Or what do you consider well to you?
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Elijah has food allergies, so it would definitely be in
the place of taking care of yourself and making sure
that you are well. Let me just say, when he
does cook, we go all out. He'll be the fresh
earth marinating. He's making his own thing. That in itself
would just make me happy than me seeing you know
(25:53):
uber eats. We know that he's eating well because he's
actually going to the store and doing what he loves doing.
He's actually an amazing cook. So that in itself would
allow me to be like, all right, because when you're
eating well, that's nourishing your body, making sure you're getting
the right and especially for Elijah because of his food
(26:16):
allergies and that's something that he's always battled with. So
that would make me happy. I would know that he's
doing his own thing. He's out in the world going
to different stores, he's acknowledging where his community is, he's shopping,
cooking for himself.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
He's caring for himself, like that would show it.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Would you be happy to find that out?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
How would you let him know you were happy with him?
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Like you said, send me that recipe, or when you
come in to see me, say you can cook that
for me, like you know I would. I would definitely
tell him. I mean, I always share my joy when
Elijah is doing things that are like I know that
he loves doing. I love speaking about it because everybody
(27:02):
else's person as well, like you know. So it's funny
because I just showed one of my friends, like a
video of Elijah cooking mahi mahi and made this delicious dressing,
and so I was just showing my couple of my
friends this weekend about it.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
I apologize.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
There was this one time where we had neighbors and
I saved their dog and I ended up buying them
over for food and it was orange chicken and salad,
and then it helped me with a salad and that
was one of my proudest moments.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
And my girlfriends would be like, go ahead, Elijah, and
all you need to know now is good wine.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I'm almost mad at Elijah right barrel because my favorite food,
my favorite food Eliza, Like, my favorite food of all
time ever is orange chicken. I could literally eat more
freaking every meal for the rest of my life and
I would not can't play.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
That's hilarious. That was my favorite meal when I was bright.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Meant and Eliza, you know how to make it?
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
It's kind of annoying though, because you either get the
sauce pre made or you make it yourself.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
And I haven't exactly gotten it right, but I really
want to.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
Keep trying because orange chicken's really cool to make with rice.
There was this place.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
In Los Angeles that you see called Veggie Girl, and
what they would have is these buffalo sauce wings with
tofu in them. I love those things so much, but
I never learned how to make it until a couple
months ago and I had it.
Speaker 5 (28:34):
I was just like, oh my god, it tastes the same.
He's a good cook, He's a good cut.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Now, Elijah, how often do you do this? How often
do you cook? And more specifically, how often do you
cook for other people? Not as much as I would
like to. I think that's just the issue.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
I don't know. I just I think it's also like
me just not being me not taking the act of.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Doing what I need to do to actually cook at
my dad and stepmom's house or mom and nanna's house.
But it's also like in fact that it's just like
when it comes to cooking in other people's kitchens, I
feel kind of weird about it. It's not that I'm
not willing to participate or share with other people, but
rather I know that the systems they have are so
(29:26):
vastly different than.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
Mine that it just doesn't work.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
And then my stepmom, she's very particular, and like that
makes it like we've gone in arguments about before. Basically,
it just makes me less and less wanting to be
in the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Mum, Elijah, I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna use a
word that I I'm gonna use a word that I
don't think is fully accurate, but I can't think of
another word. Mom, if I were able to fix Elijah,
I don't like that word because I don't mean to
imply that there's something broken, but I can't think of
another word. Would that make a difference in your life
if you knew, like, oh my gosh, my son is
healed and in some way like at his best now, Elijah.
(30:08):
No one has a perfect life. But if somehow Elijah
has grown and he's the best version of him, Mom,
how would that make a difference for you?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
I think for both of us we would thrive without concern,
even in difficult relationships. There wouldn't be a great worry
because we know that regardless of what will beat the adversity.
I'd fed to Elijah many times that if he's not happy,
(30:41):
there's no way that I could be happy. He is
I and I am him, and there's no way that
I could be able to be truly, truly, absolutely happy
within myself to know that he struggled in any type
of way and is not able to over And.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
What would be different about the way the two of
you would relate when mom and son are operating at
the very best.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Well, everything can't be explained in words. It's how one feels.
And I would be in a space of I don't
know if I guess elevate it right, I would I
would live in a space of there's no greater sense
of a peace of mind.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Oh Elijah, what difference would it make to you to
know that you've given your mom this sense of peace
of mind?
Speaker 4 (31:33):
I would be happy that I would give her that
peace of mind. And you know it's more of just
that's what that's what I hope to achieve in the
long run.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
You'd be pleased with that. If that's where it came
out of all of this, you'd be pleased with that. Okay,
now we only have a few minutes left, and there
are two things I want to point out to the
two of you, and I'm really excited to tell you
both these things. Mom, there was a phrase that came
up early in this conversation, and it came up a
couple times, and both of you said it, and I
(32:05):
want to make sure I caught this phrase right. But
the phrase that both of you said was consistency. Do
you remember saying that? Yes? So, my job, my two
brand new friends, my job is to point out when
I think people are good at something and don't know
(32:25):
they're good at it. One of the best ways to
elevate your life is to realize what you're already good at.
Both of you talk about consistency as like I need
to become more consistent. Here's Mom saying she needs to
be more consistent. But she's been doing this Buddhist practice
(32:45):
for twenty two years. That's the getting me of consistency.
I found myself wondering, does she know she's already very
good at consistency? Mom? What your thought about me.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Saying that I automatically I just said wow, And no,
I didn't. That's one of the things that if I
think about consistency, yes, as far as practice wise.
Speaker 5 (33:16):
But I know, I know, I know, honestly.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
My fear is you're confusing consistency with perfection. Every time
you're imperfect, your brain is diagnosing yourself as inconsistent, which
is not true. Consistency sounds like this. I was in
a really dark place. I found out I was pregnant.
I prayed, and I went church shopping for a whole
(33:44):
year until I found this Buddhist practice and I've been
doing it ever since for twenty two years. That is
what consistency sounds like. And that's the exact story you
told me. Were there days in there where you were like,
I don't feel like going today or I don't feel
like doing it today. I'm sure, but that does not
(34:04):
make you any less consistent. It makes you imperfect, which
actually makes you human. I think both of you are
confusing consistency with perfection, and to be very blunt about it,
I want you to stop doing that, like I want
you to stop doing that because you're a human, You're
(34:25):
supposed to be imperfect. Just remember, consistency is continuously moving
in the same direction. Do I take a nap as
I'm moving occasionally? Do I stumble in ball as I'm
moving occasionally? Because you're not perfect. The reason I think
it's so important that both of you hear this is Elijah,
(34:45):
you are your mother's son. You have a lot of
that woman coursing through your veins. Thank you. The fact
that both of you do this is like evidence of like,
oh my god, these are like mom's son twins, and
they both need to give themselves permission to be imperfect.
But recognize I'm already very consistent. Does that make sense
(35:07):
you guys? Okay, you don't want to kill me or anything? No, no,
maybe a little, but no. The other thing, Elijah, and
this is specific to Elijah, Elijah, you do a really
fascinating thing and I can't help but notice it. I'm
a psychotherapy nerd, Elijah, I cannot help it. There are
certain things I noticed that probably non psychotherapy people wouldn't notice.
(35:32):
My favorite part of the conversation we had today was
listening to you talk about cooking. It illuminates two things
in your personality. Number One, for whatever reason, Elijah, you
experience a tremendous amount of joy why we're cooking, not
(35:55):
sure why? Who knows. Some people get joy out of hiking,
people get joy out of playing basketball. It's very clear
to me that you experience a lot of joy while cooking.
Even talking about cooking, Elijah, your mood elevates, your voice
gets a little bit different, like there's something about this
activity that you enjoy. The other thing it highlights about
(36:18):
your personality is you have a heart of service. And
I want to tell you a quick story about what
I mean by having a heart of service. One of
the greatest chefs in the entire world is a man
named Gordon Ramsey. And I assume you've heard that name before. Yes.
(36:39):
So in my job, Elijah, I travel a lot. I
get to do cool things. And Gordon Ramsey, you know,
he's on every TV show, and he's on Kitchen Nightmare
and Hell's Kitchen and all these things. And I was
in London. It was like my second or third time
being in London. I just wanted to look up, like,
are there any Gordon Ramsey restaurants here? And I found
(37:02):
a restaurant called The York and Albany and I was like, oh,
I want to go there. So I called a bunch
of my friend and I said, have you guys ever
been to one of these restaurants? And he said no,
and I said can we go? It wasn't crazy expensive
as you might think. It was kind of like a
little restaurant in a hotel. So I said can we
have dinner there? And funnily enough, they all said no.
(37:26):
But then I was like, wait a minute, this is
my only time, this is my you know, I don't
come to London very often. Who knows if I'm ever
going to come back? So I talked him into going. Listen, man,
I cannot tell you how good that food was, Elijah.
I ordered lobster raviol right, that was the dish. I
ordered lobster raviol Now. I expected a bowl of ravioli's pluring,
(37:49):
but when they brought the plate to me, it was
one big ravioli stuffs. When I put that thing in
my mouth, I was like, I cannot believe that this
is food like this, that's good. And I said to
the server, this true story and watching you talk about
(38:11):
food reminded me of this moment Elijah. I said to
the server, is Gordon Ramsey here? And he said no,
And I said does he ever come here? And he
said yeah, he comes here about twice a month. And
I said, so who cooked this food? And he said
(38:31):
the head chef that Gordon Ramsey hired. And I said
can I talk to him? And he said yes. So
the head chef comes out and I told him this
is the most amazing ravioli I ever ate. And he said,
wait until the next disc comes out. And then he
did an unusual thing, Elijah. So he makes the dish,
(38:53):
they bring it to our table, and then he came
out and he just watched us eat it. He had
his chef towel on his shoulder and he just watched
this eat it like he's like, are you guys enjoying it?
Blah blah blah. And I was like, yes, he's very good.
But like I said to him, but in essence, like
why do you care? And he said, people think that
(39:15):
you've become a chef to cook food, but you actually
become a chef to make people happy through food, And
I was like, damn, I never really because in my head, like,
if he's a chef and he cooked, like, let's say
a burger, he probably cooked ten thousand burgers. So why
(39:36):
does he care what I think of the meal I'm eating?
And the answer is because he's using food to make
other people happy. So does he care about the food?
I don't know, but he cares about does the food
make other people happy? And he stood there like a
proud dad when me and my friend are gobbling up
the food and were saying to him, this is very good.
(39:58):
I thought about that moment, Elijah, whiley you were talking,
because I thought Elijah might be the only other person
I've ever met that experiences joy through food and has
a servant's heart. That was my favorite moments of our
whole conversation. My least favorite moment of the conversation. And again, Elijah,
I can't help it. I'm a psychotherapist. I notice these
little things you completely change when you start talking about
(40:21):
the obstacles between you and the thing that brings you joy. So,
for example, when I asked you how often do you cook?
You were like, it's complicated, you know, and you immediately
start talking about the obstacles between you and the thing
you want to do. And now I'm thinking, all right,
here's my job. My job is, and it's true for everybody,
(40:42):
Like if you want to have better mental health, you
really have to just do two things. You want to
have a better life, you just have to do two things.
The first thing, and Elijah, you are very young to
already know the answer to step number one. The first
thing is I have to discover what it is that
brings me jolling. And most people, in Elijah, they don't
(41:03):
know it in their early twenties. Most people find it
out later in life. But step one is, I have
to figure out what is that thing that, for whatever reason,
brings me joy. Number two you have to do that
thing frequently. So I need to ask you, Elijah, to
cook more. I don't care if you go get like
(41:27):
a little kind of dorm ring style hot plate and
you cook secretly in your room, just burn down the house.
I'll probably get so real bad.
Speaker 7 (41:38):
I don't care how you do it, but you are
doing yourself a disservice by not doing the thing that
you know you love with frequency.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Does that make sense? Yes? I follow a guy on
social media who was a shaf When COVID happened, all
the restaurants shut down, and he was in New York City.
He would go out on the balcony of his apartment
and yell down to the street. He would say, hey,
(42:14):
you with the red hoodie you're on. If I could
cook any one thing for you, what would it be?
The person would yell up from the street spaghetti bolnis
and he'd say, coming right up, and then he would
go and he would record himself making spaghetti bolonnaise. Then
(42:34):
he would bring it to the guy on the street
and he would say here and then the person would
eat it. He now is really famous and he even
though COVID, you know, we can go to restaurants all
that stuff, but he still does this, except now it'll
be a celebrity walking down the street, which I'm sure
is orchestrated, and he'll look ad hey, and then you
look up and it's like Denzel Washington and he'd be like,
(42:56):
what do you want me to cook for you? And
he'll say something butter chicken. I cook it. So my
challenge to you, my friend Elijah, is to get as
creative as you will to be, but you can't not
do the thing that you know brings you joy. The
reason I know not only is it food, but it's
also serving people, because every time you lit up talking
(43:18):
about food, it was when you did something for someone else.
And the very first thing you said, you said, I
would wake up and cook breakfast. And not only did
you say that in the saying I would tell her,
you said I would ask her if she wants the recipe,
which is a way of you serving her food long distance.
(43:40):
That is a very special trait to have. And this
might sound crazy, but the path to you being a
better version of yourself is through doing the thing you love,
and in this particular case, it is food and serving others.
Do that make sense? Yes? So can I challenge you
(44:01):
to get as creative as you need to be to
make sure that is in your life with a level
of frequency. Is that okay?
Speaker 5 (44:11):
I accept the challenge?
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Yeah? Awesome?
Speaker 5 (44:14):
All right?
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Did you find our chat useful? Yes?
Speaker 5 (44:17):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Well, you guys are both amazing. It is a pleasure
to get to know.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
You, all right, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
After sitting with Gladys and Elijah, what I realized is
that they already are consistent. They just weren't giving themselves
credit for it. Gladys has been committed to our spiritual
practice for over two decades. Elijah lights up when he
talks about cooking, about serving others, creating joy, and feeding
people as an act of care. Yet both of them
(44:47):
were measuring themselves against an impossible standard. And that's something
a lot of you listening may relate to. When anxiety
shows up, it often tells us we're failing because we paused,
because we rest did because we weren't perfect. But consistency
isn't about never stopping. Consistency is about continuing in the
(45:08):
same direction even when the pace changes. Take another step,
and another and another. If you're listening and you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious,
or stuck, this is your reminder that you don't need
one perfect solution. You need tools that fit you for
(45:29):
some people. That structure for others, its creativity for others,
its faith, movement, food service, spontaneity, or quiet mornings before
the world wakes up. So before we end, here are
a few questions you can ask yourself the next time
these themes show up in your life. Where am I
(45:49):
confusing consistency with perfection. What am I already doing well
even if I don't do it every day? What brings
(46:10):
me genuine joy? And how often am I allowing myself
to experience it? If I took one small step in
the same direction tomorrow, what would that look like? What
(46:31):
does taking care of myself actually mean for me, not
for anyone else. Progress doesn't come from pressure. It comes
from permission, the permission to be imperfect and to keep going.
(46:52):
And sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is
exactly what this family did today. Show up, stay honest,
and take the next step, and the next and the
next until it's consistent. I would love to.
Speaker 8 (47:25):
Hear from you about your healing journey, your family and
your feedback. Leave a review, send a DM, connect with
me on socials at Elliott Speaks, and you can also
send me a text message to nine seven two four
two six two six four zero. Family Therapy is a
production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect podcast Network special
thanks to our assistant Glendelle Seppe. It's produced by jack
(47:47):
Quise Thomas and the executive producer Dolly S.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
S Fisher. For more podcasts from The Black Effect, visit
the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
The content presented on the Family Therapy Podcast serves solely
for educational and informational purposes. It should not be considered
a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance and
does not constitute a provider patient relationship.
Speaker 8 (48:09):
It is advisable to consult with your healthcare provider or
health team, or any specific concern or questions you may have.
I'm Eliot, Connie, and this is family theory.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Today.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I get the privilege of sitting with a mother and son,
Gladys and Elijah, who are profoundly connected, extremely reflective, and
very honest about where they are in life right now.
During the session, Gladys even says she hopes this conversation
leads to growth, resolution, and even deeper love, and Elijah
(00:30):
shares something just as powerful. He says he's trying to
understand his own patterns so he's not manipulated by them
and not mastered by them. That right there tells you
a lot about why this conversation matters. Neither of them
is afraid of accountability, neither of them is running from
self reflection. What they're wrestling with isn't effort or love
(00:53):
or lack thereof. It's how to keep moving forward without
confusing consistency with perfection or yesterday with tomorrow's ideals. This
session is about recognizing what's already there, commitment, love, discipline, creativity,
and learning how small, repeated patterns can become stabilizing forces
(01:15):
in moments of anxiety, uncertainty, and estrangement. Elizah puts it
plainly when he says It's not that I'm irresponsible, It's
a matter of consistency, and that's the issue. And Gladys
wonders if she could wake up tomorrow and just do
things a little better and move with more intention. This
(01:37):
conversation about what happens when we stop asking ourselves to
be flawless and start allowing ourselves to be human.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
So what are your best hopes from talking with me?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Well, first, I'm so excited for Elijah and I to
have this opportunity. So my hope is that whatever does
come out, we are as honest as possible, And of
course I know that we love one another and that
we can really rise from anything.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
What do you want this honesty to do? If we
have a whole conversation you're both really honest with one another,
how do you want it to impact your lives together?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Growth, resolution, love, even deeper love and understanding as far
as our own individuality, Aaron, where we're at now, just
everything that has to do with moving forward in the
greatest way that we possibly can be as a son
(02:38):
and mother and as like just who we are as
human beings.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
So if we can help grow resolution and even a
deeper love, you would be pleased. Well, yes, Elijah, what
about you? What do you hope would be then that
one from us starting?
Speaker 4 (02:58):
I think understanding most of all, it's uh, there's things
that just don't add up, like when it comes to
dynamics between like all not just Mom's side of the family,
but a lot of the adults from all adults.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
From my side of the family.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
There's things that I'm confused about in terms of conflict
or issues. It's not necessarily whose fault it is, but
rather who's taking responsibility for what? And I think we
all have something to take responsibility for. I am not
without flaw, even if I didn't start something, or if
(03:34):
I did start something.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
And how do you hope this taking of accountability makes
a difference for you, Elijah, your mom, the relationship with
you guys, or the whole family, Like how do you
hope this like acknowledgment of roles and accountability makes a difference.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Being able to understand my own flaws and moving forward
so I'm not manipulated by them or not being mastered
by them. In a sense, it's I can take the
moment to realize what I'm doing wrong in a situation
and therefore take the steps to correct myself.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
If you could take more steps to correct yourself after
a start feeling you'd be pleased by it. Yes, Yeah,
looks like you're sipcake. What else would you like to achieve? Low?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I mean, it's interesting because I just had like a
bit of a com like a I'm in a bit
of like a strained area with my stepmam right now.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
And it's interesting because.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
It's the same I just realized it's the same pattern
for specifically women, I think. And I was just wondering
a lot of times I have another therapist I'm talking
to that I was just wondering if these issues are
just something because the common and denominas is me and
the fact that the people I'm having the issues with
(05:04):
the most are female.
Speaker 5 (05:06):
And so it's.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
A bit of a I'm wondering, like why just keep
happening in a sense.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Guessing that whatever this thing is that keeps happening, you
don't want it to continue happening. Yeah, No, what would
you rather have happened, Elanda in those relationships?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Not as much fighting, not as much confusion, more ease?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Definitely?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, how would that help you to have more e.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
It would help me because I wouldn't have to be
so stressed out anymore. I could be more comfortable where
I'm not comfortable.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Okay, you know, comfortable in general or comfortable within these relationships.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
I think in general, And like, it's both because part
of it it's like I am talking to women outside
of my mom set, mom and everyone else. But it's
also sometimes like there is this hesitation and caution and
even skepticism that comes from just me interacting with women
in general.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
So somehow all of this you know, conversation, if that
led to you being more comfortable in your interaction with
women in general, you'd be pleased by that. Yeah, all right, cool, Well,
before we talk about anything else, I want to just
ask you guys a couple of questions to get to
know you together. Is that okay? Yes, gladys, you are
(06:37):
fully responsible for this young man's presence on this earth.
What is your favorite thing about him? I know he's
not perfect and there's probably some things. Man, he drives
me nuts when he does this or says this or
blah blah blah, But what is your like if this
kid lives to be one hundred and fifty years old?
I hope these things about him absolutely never change.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
That in itself is a big Elijah everything. From the
moment that I knew that I was having a son,
from the moment that I met Elijah when he came
out my womb, he has always been to me the
beauty and light in the struggle and the internal struggle.
(07:23):
Let me give you a little story. Elijah, who was
maybe four or five years old. I go into this
art museum and it's artists are like, you know, giving
their all and showing their stuff. And then there are
a couple of artists that go on stage and they're
doing spoken word, and I've always I was so impressed
by them, but always so afraid to be in front
(07:45):
of a stage and like speaking words spoken word, And
at the time was the only kid in the art gallery.
And he started to raise his hand because he wanted
to go up on stage and say something like you know,
and and I've always known that I'm not here to
stop Blaijah and who he wants to be because at
(08:07):
the youngest of ages he was so dynamic. If he
lived to be one hundred and fifty years old, it
would be.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
For him to have.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
True strength and happiness internally, for him to be prosperous
in everything that he does, for him to live in
his true light of who he is, to speak and
connect his truth. Because he's always been someone who has
shown me not to fear certain things. He was always bold,
(08:42):
He's always shown me how to protect him. I had
to straighten up to not fear, to fight for what
was right. Like you know that he came into my
world in a time that things were gonna get real dark,
and so I respect so many, so many ways that
he's just showed me how to be a better person.
(09:02):
I just want the I want the world for him,
and I want him to know that he is fresh
from the wound.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
I said to him.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
He was born in Los Angeles, California. However he's born
to the world and he's the world's child. So whatever
that is for him, that's where I want him to be.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
How old was he that night? At the spoken word
of any four or.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Five years old?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
And he went on stage and he said a high
cool which I have never known what a high coup was?
It told somebody told me so. Elijah always been that
human being in the world, even before he could speak.
Elders would literally stop. It didn't matter we lived in
Korea town, people from different ethnic backgrounds would stop to
(09:43):
address him, and he was straight on page. Because my
biggest thing and my biggest prayer when I found out
that I was pregnant was to protect him from not
just the world, but from my own darkness, and so
in that he just was always someone who connected without
(10:06):
saying any type of word. It was just his present,
like you know, and so he taught me how to
like I couldn't allow my doubts overshadow his light. And
it wasn't until I named him immediately and after his
father found out, the name just meant splendid light, and
I was like, that's him all the way, that individual.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
What's your favorite thing about your mom, who I also
assume is not perfect, But what is the thing that
you hope she never changes because you happen to enjoy
this particular quality of trade above any other.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
My mom is a very kind and open person.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
I like to think that I've gone I've learned my
habits of affection and while from her and everyone I've
ever met there, I think this is like probably the
most like to highlight her character.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
This is probably the best story.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
We have a friend at one point, he was homeless
and there was a couple other people along with him.
I don't really know who they are, but basically what
happened is a Mom ended.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Up meeting them. They were going through some struggles.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
One of them women was pregnant, and basically she ended
up helping them along. Like there was at one point
like we were visiting them and we ended up staying
at a hotel together. I forgot what was the thing, mom,
that we were doing again, it was like to help
do something.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
We were finding a program for him, a drug program
that he could do work release from that program.
Speaker 5 (11:44):
Right, right, and yeah and so in Yeah, So basically
we really helped him.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Long, Like I've been driving with him multiple times, and
he got married not too long ago, and I took
photos and me and Mom took photos at his wedding.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
He's just grown so much much.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I don't know if without Mom's health he would have
gone to that point in his life.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Yeah, it's just that's one of the things I really
love about the most.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
And a very open person with emotions too, and some
of the most fondest moments I have here when I
ever see her cry either happy tears, when she's praying
or entering a situation like where she doesn't like where she.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
Has to let it out.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
I usually just walk like I'm usually in the other
rooms minding my own business. But as student, as I hear,
I just walk into the room and curl around her
and get in a hugger until like until like the
tears stop. I don't really say anything, I just like,
that's just how that is how I've learned to love
from my mom.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Oh wow, Elliott, I just shared what I think I
shared this on our first my solo but just what
he said right now of like coming into the room
and automatically knowing when something is wrong. When he was
three years old, we were driving and I was really
sad my life had changed with him dramatically. He looked
(13:04):
out the window and said, Mom, where there's a will,
there's a way at three, Like you know what I mean.
So I'm not just messing with no ordinary human being
like like I truly bow because he shows shows me
a lot.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Don't say like like bow.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Like you know namyo horden gey kill bow.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Do probably would you? Just thinking by the way I practiced.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Ntroned Ice shown in this Buddhism, and it's the prayer
numb yo horing gay kill, numb yo horing gay kill,
numb yo horring gay kill. So I've been practicing. Yeah,
I've been practicing. Uh. This October will be twenty two years.
And I really found the practice because when I found
out I was pregnant, it was serious and I was afraid.
(13:53):
I was about to live in La Vida Loca in
in California, and I was in the scene and Elijah
has said, I'm so open that I was not at
a good place when I was pregnant, and I was frightened,
and I sincerely prayed to God and asked to become
(14:15):
the greatest mother that I possibly could be, and to
protect my child from my darkness in the world's darkness.
I church shopped for a year, and when I found
out about nietzsche Buddhism, I knew about it because of
Tina Turner's movie that I saw at fifteen years old,
What Glove Got to Do with It? And I was like,
(14:36):
oh no, and my friend was like, how do you
even know that? I was like, that's how Tina left
ikes Hat. And then when Elijah, my friend and I
went to the culture center in Los Angeles called the
Friendship Center. I literally heard angels and I never left.
And so this has been my practice since Elijah's been
(14:59):
in the world.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Buddhism.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Is it called that phrase that you keep using that
I can't pronounce?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Is that what it's called Buddhism?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (15:09):
The organization, it's the Soka gat Guy, which is a
no priesthood within We're a lay Buddhist organization. The prayer
is nammo horingey kill n a m mio hoo, m
yo h o ring gay is r e n g
(15:32):
e and then ko is k yo. In short terms,
it just I devote myself to the mystic law, cause
and effect through sound. It's a beautiful philosophy and it's
something that has shown me the power of my own
life and the interconnection of life and death and everything
(15:54):
in between. And it's allowed me to be the the
mother that I needed to be, and it still gives
me the opportunity to become the mother that I truly
want to be.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Wow, Elijah has your mother's passion and like entrance into
the world of this practice. Has she ever brought you
into it or do you ever join? I've joined her
multiple times.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
I remember constantly going with her to the Buddhist Center
when I was younger. Now I'm not a practitioner myself,
but I am never opposed to chantion with my mom
whenever she asked me to. We have many close friends
within the organization.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
And I go there. Well, it's in Atlanta, so I
can't really go anymore, but I used to go there.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
It's everywhere, It's everywhere.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
But the one that used to go with you, was it? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (16:51):
Yeah, right, yeah, and so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
And what I was saying before was when she I
was praying, in those times where she got emotional and
teared up, those are oftentimes at her old turkeys, and
so that's when I would often just join her and
by her.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Oh well, thank you guys. That's really that's really helpful.
And I normally don't ask a question as generic is
what I'm about to ask. But how would the two
of you notice that your life got better if somehow
overnight mysteriously who knows how the earth shape the grane
(17:30):
move algorithm changes, But because you were sleep, you don't
know that it happened when you woke up the next day.
What would be your first indicator that like life is
somehow better, Like I'm somehow a better version of myself
(17:51):
as I wake up today, How would the two of
you notice that?
Speaker 5 (17:54):
I don't think there's any.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
One thing for me specifically would indicate that my life
has gone better. I think where I am right now,
I'm working towards trying to build a better life. Something
that I struggle with at times is a lack of
discipline and a lack of being able to keep to
my schedules and keep to my word. And it's not
(18:18):
like I'm lying or not being responsible, but it's a
matter of consistency that is the issue. So it is
I think that if I were starting to do stuff
consistently as I said, I'm going to do constantly putting
in my calendar and really putting my best effort forward,
(18:40):
I think that would be the sign that things are
going to get better, not essentially getting better if if
it were, if it was a sign I would get better.
This is just a simple thing. Did I tell you
I was trying to make a trying to build a
bus like mini home, I would be on my own
in a renovative bus.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah. Basically yes, do you do you really want to
live in a renovated bus. Yeah, yeah, where do you
want to put it? Elijah? Like do you want it
to be in DC? You wanted to be in Alberta, Canada?
In northern Where do you want this bus to be?
Speaker 4 (19:16):
I don't necessarily have any direct place because for me,
it's like I don't necessarily want to be held down
by like a job.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
Or like a location.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
I'd rather be able to travel as much as I
would want, as much as finances could allow me to. Right,
I don't want to settle down until I, you know,
actually explore more and see. Okay, this is where I
think I could really settle down with the wife and
kids and build a good life for them. But uh yeah,
for now, it's just more of just like renovated, Like
(19:47):
I want to work in schools for a bit while
I also work on my writing and storytelling career. So yeah,
I think that's more just the image I have in mind.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
So, Elijah, if this miracle happened to and you somehow
became this better version of you, what time would you
wake up tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Thirty seven?
Speaker 2 (20:11):
When you opened your eyes, what would be the very
first clue you would notice that would make you pause
for a minute and be like, wait, sometimes a little bit.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
The windows, I don't really I've all momy.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
You could tell me if I'm wrong, But it's been
a while since I've lived in a place where I've
had a lot of windows allowing me to see the outside.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
Oftentimes it felt dark or confined.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
Yeah, and I think just being able to wake up
and see that there I can see the outside, or
I can open my windows and see the spacious outside.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
I have light in my plane. That's why I think
would be different.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Is the place that you sleep now, does it have
windows in that kind of light?
Speaker 4 (20:59):
It has windows, but the light doesn't really come in
that well. It barely reaches like a foot or two
from the window because I'm in the back of the
building right and there's trees all around, so there's not
really a bunch of light coming in.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
So if you woke up tomorrow in your current environment,
not a bunch of light coming in. But if you
woke up and you notice the window and you notice
the light, even if it was minimal, that would be
a sign to you that would be different. Yeah, Okay, Mama,
about you, what would you notice on a day when
you woke up somehow after this miracle being a little
(21:35):
bit better version of you.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I would go a lot with what Elijah said, like
just as far as consistency, right, I already wake up
and feel like and have me myself. And I thought,
like before I go to sleep and when I wake up, like,
you know, I could I have done better? How is
my behavior towards the people that are around me? Like
those type of things I always ask. I know that
(21:57):
I am growing. However, if I could wake up tomorrow
and magically have what I want to have, like I
would be out on my own, like as far as
my own property land wide.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
You're not there yet, right, Nope, not there yet.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
So this thing happens in your current environment. You wake
up tomorrow in your current environment, but for whatever reason,
you are a better year.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Because of this conversation. This will make me a better
me tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
In wake what time would it be?
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I really like the morning time. I like getting up
when there's nothing else that's happening. So I like four
in the morning because I feel like four in the morning,
I can get up, have my own time, my own
peace of mind. I live with my mother, her husband,
and my auntie, and three cousins. So you know, in
the morning, there's like people get up and we'll have you.
So I would like to have my own time in
(22:49):
getting up and being in prayer and thankful and calculating
what my day would be and take those moods. But
as of now, waking up tomorrow, I already feel like
a better person because I know what just right now,
what this entails for my light and my future.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I don't know if you've noticed, but Elijah, when you
said waking up in the morning at four am, Elijah
went like this, So you two are those like crazy
morning people.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
I'm guessing when she said that I love the mornings,
that's awesome me.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
I wouldn't wake up at four o'clock, teck, now I
need my baty wrest.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
But but you Drew love them, yes, okay, And Elijah,
if you woke up like six thirty seven and you
started to notice, I just feel like a better version
of me, and I'm noticing the windows.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
And the light in a way that really pleases me.
How would you let your mom know that, for whatever reason,
on this day, I feel like a better version of me.
How would your mom find that out? How would you
let your mom know that, for whatever reason, on this day,
(24:06):
I feel like a better version of me. How would
your mom find that out?
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I think she would find out after I made breakfast
in my kitchen, specifically making foods that I never got
to make before with mom or my parents in a
living with now that gross in my character, that I
think she would acknowledge full of joy at the fact
that there are things I never got to make, and
that I love cooking. I've always wanted to make Chiro's
(24:32):
in Jamaican patties, and I can't.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Really do that where I'm at right now.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
But sharing my love of cooking is how I would
share that miracle.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Okay, how would you do that? Would you text her?
Would you take a picture of what you How would
you share with her Mom's in Atlanta? How would you
share this love of cooking with her?
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I would text her and send her a picture and
ask if she wanted the recipe and she said yes,
I would send it Basically.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Now, Mom, I'm gonna guess you've gotten millions of text
messages from him over the years when he texts you
about his food. On this day, how would you know
an even better version of my son is texting me, like,
(25:20):
what would be a clue? That would be, like, I've
got lots.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
To text regards from him because he's feeding himself well,
Like that's always it's always a concern.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Or what do you consider well to you?
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Elijah has food allergies, so it would definitely be in
the place of taking care of yourself and making sure
that you are well. Let me just say, when he
does cook, we go all out. He'll be the fresh
earth marinating. He's making his own thing. That in itself
would just make me happy than me seeing you know
(25:53):
uber eats. We know that he's eating well because he's
actually going to the store and doing what he loves doing.
He's actually an amazing cook. So that in itself would
allow me to be like, all right, because when you're
eating well, that's nourishing your body, making sure you're getting
the right and especially for Elijah because of his food
(26:16):
allergies and that's something that he's always battled with. So
that would make me happy. I would know that he's
doing his own thing. He's out in the world going
to different stores, he's acknowledging where his community is, he's shopping,
cooking for himself.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
He's caring for himself, like that would show it.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Would you be happy to find that out?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
How would you let him know you were happy with him?
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Like you said, send me that recipe, or when you
come in to see me, say you can cook that
for me, like you know I would. I would definitely
tell him. I mean, I always share my joy when
Elijah is doing things that are like I know that
he loves doing. I love speaking about it because everybody
(27:02):
else's person as well, like you know. So it's funny
because I just showed one of my friends, like a
video of Elijah cooking mahi mahi and made this delicious dressing,
and so I was just showing my couple of my
friends this weekend about it.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
I apologize.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
There was this one time where we had neighbors and
I saved their dog and I ended up buying them
over for food and it was orange chicken and salad,
and then it helped me with a salad and that
was one of my proudest moments.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
And my girlfriends would be like, go ahead, Elijah, and
all you need to know now is good wine.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I'm almost mad at Elijah right barrel because my favorite food,
my favorite food Eliza, Like, my favorite food of all
time ever is orange chicken. I could literally eat more
freaking every meal for the rest of my life and
I would not can't play.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
That's hilarious. That was my favorite meal when I was bright.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Meant and Eliza, you know how to make it?
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
It's kind of annoying though, because you either get the
sauce pre made or you make it yourself.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
And I haven't exactly gotten it right, but I really
want to.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
Keep trying because orange chicken's really cool to make with rice.
There was this place.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
In Los Angeles that you see called Veggie Girl, and
what they would have is these buffalo sauce wings with
tofu in them. I love those things so much, but
I never learned how to make it until a couple
months ago and I had it.
Speaker 5 (28:34):
I was just like, oh my god, it tastes the same.
He's a good cook, He's a good cut.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Now, Elijah, how often do you do this? How often
do you cook? And more specifically, how often do you
cook for other people? Not as much as I would
like to. I think that's just the issue.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
I don't know. I just I think it's also like
me just not being me not taking the act of.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Doing what I need to do to actually cook at
my dad and stepmom's house or mom and nanna's house.
But it's also like in fact that it's just like
when it comes to cooking in other people's kitchens, I
feel kind of weird about it. It's not that I'm
not willing to participate or share with other people, but
rather I know that the systems they have are so
(29:26):
vastly different than.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
Mine that it just doesn't work.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
And then my stepmom, she's very particular, and like that
makes it like we've gone in arguments about before. Basically,
it just makes me less and less wanting to be
in the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Mum, Elijah, I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna use a
word that I I'm gonna use a word that I
don't think is fully accurate, but I can't think of
another word. Mom, if I were able to fix Elijah,
I don't like that word because I don't mean to
imply that there's something broken, but I can't think of
another word. Would that make a difference in your life
if you knew, like, oh my gosh, my son is
healed and in some way like at his best now, Elijah.
(30:08):
No one has a perfect life. But if somehow Elijah
has grown and he's the best version of him, Mom,
how would that make a difference for you?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
I think for both of us we would thrive without concern,
even in difficult relationships. There wouldn't be a great worry
because we know that regardless of what will beat the adversity.
I'd fed to Elijah many times that if he's not happy,
(30:41):
there's no way that I could be happy. He is
I and I am him, and there's no way that
I could be able to be truly, truly, absolutely happy
within myself to know that he struggled in any type
of way and is not able to over And.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
What would be different about the way the two of
you would relate when mom and son are operating at
the very best.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Well, everything can't be explained in words. It's how one feels.
And I would be in a space of I don't
know if I guess elevate it right, I would I
would live in a space of there's no greater sense
of a peace of mind.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Oh Elijah, what difference would it make to you to
know that you've given your mom this sense of peace
of mind?
Speaker 4 (31:33):
I would be happy that I would give her that
peace of mind. And you know it's more of just
that's what that's what I hope to achieve in the
long run.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
You'd be pleased with that. If that's where it came
out of all of this, you'd be pleased with that. Okay,
now we only have a few minutes left, and there
are two things I want to point out to the
two of you, and I'm really excited to tell you
both these things. Mom, there was a phrase that came
up early in this conversation, and it came up a
couple times, and both of you said it, and I
(32:05):
want to make sure I caught this phrase right. But
the phrase that both of you said was consistency. Do
you remember saying that? Yes? So, my job, my two
brand new friends, my job is to point out when
I think people are good at something and don't know
(32:25):
they're good at it. One of the best ways to
elevate your life is to realize what you're already good at.
Both of you talk about consistency as like I need
to become more consistent. Here's Mom saying she needs to
be more consistent. But she's been doing this Buddhist practice
(32:45):
for twenty two years. That's the getting me of consistency.
I found myself wondering, does she know she's already very
good at consistency? Mom? What your thought about me.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Saying that I automatically I just said wow, And no,
I didn't. That's one of the things that if I
think about consistency, yes, as far as practice wise.
Speaker 5 (33:16):
But I know, I know, I know, honestly.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
My fear is you're confusing consistency with perfection. Every time
you're imperfect, your brain is diagnosing yourself as inconsistent, which
is not true. Consistency sounds like this. I was in
a really dark place. I found out I was pregnant.
I prayed, and I went church shopping for a whole
(33:44):
year until I found this Buddhist practice and I've been
doing it ever since for twenty two years. That is
what consistency sounds like. And that's the exact story you
told me. Were there days in there where you were like,
I don't feel like going today or I don't feel
like doing it today. I'm sure, but that does not
(34:04):
make you any less consistent. It makes you imperfect, which
actually makes you human. I think both of you are
confusing consistency with perfection, and to be very blunt about it,
I want you to stop doing that, like I want
you to stop doing that because you're a human, You're
(34:25):
supposed to be imperfect. Just remember, consistency is continuously moving
in the same direction. Do I take a nap as
I'm moving occasionally? Do I stumble in ball as I'm
moving occasionally? Because you're not perfect. The reason I think
it's so important that both of you hear this is Elijah,
(34:45):
you are your mother's son. You have a lot of
that woman coursing through your veins. Thank you. The fact
that both of you do this is like evidence of like,
oh my god, these are like mom's son twins, and
they both need to give themselves permission to be imperfect.
But recognize I'm already very consistent. Does that make sense
(35:07):
you guys? Okay, you don't want to kill me or anything? No, no,
maybe a little, but no. The other thing, Elijah, and
this is specific to Elijah, Elijah, you do a really
fascinating thing and I can't help but notice it. I'm
a psychotherapy nerd, Elijah, I cannot help it. There are
certain things I noticed that probably non psychotherapy people wouldn't notice.
(35:32):
My favorite part of the conversation we had today was
listening to you talk about cooking. It illuminates two things
in your personality. Number One, for whatever reason, Elijah, you
experience a tremendous amount of joy why we're cooking, not
(35:55):
sure why? Who knows. Some people get joy out of hiking,
people get joy out of playing basketball. It's very clear
to me that you experience a lot of joy while cooking.
Even talking about cooking, Elijah, your mood elevates, your voice
gets a little bit different, like there's something about this
activity that you enjoy. The other thing it highlights about
(36:18):
your personality is you have a heart of service. And
I want to tell you a quick story about what
I mean by having a heart of service. One of
the greatest chefs in the entire world is a man
named Gordon Ramsey. And I assume you've heard that name before. Yes.
(36:39):
So in my job, Elijah, I travel a lot. I
get to do cool things. And Gordon Ramsey, you know,
he's on every TV show, and he's on Kitchen Nightmare
and Hell's Kitchen and all these things. And I was
in London. It was like my second or third time
being in London. I just wanted to look up, like,
are there any Gordon Ramsey restaurants here? And I found
(37:02):
a restaurant called The York and Albany and I was like, oh,
I want to go there. So I called a bunch
of my friend and I said, have you guys ever
been to one of these restaurants? And he said no,
and I said can we go? It wasn't crazy expensive
as you might think. It was kind of like a
little restaurant in a hotel. So I said can we
have dinner there? And funnily enough, they all said no.
(37:26):
But then I was like, wait a minute, this is
my only time, this is my you know, I don't
come to London very often. Who knows if I'm ever
going to come back? So I talked him into going. Listen, man,
I cannot tell you how good that food was, Elijah.
I ordered lobster raviol right, that was the dish. I
ordered lobster raviol Now. I expected a bowl of ravioli's pluring,
(37:49):
but when they brought the plate to me, it was
one big ravioli stuffs. When I put that thing in
my mouth, I was like, I cannot believe that this
is food like this, that's good. And I said to
the server, this true story and watching you talk about
(38:11):
food reminded me of this moment Elijah. I said to
the server, is Gordon Ramsey here? And he said no,
And I said does he ever come here? And he
said yeah, he comes here about twice a month. And
I said, so who cooked this food? And he said
(38:31):
the head chef that Gordon Ramsey hired. And I said
can I talk to him? And he said yes. So
the head chef comes out and I told him this
is the most amazing ravioli I ever ate. And he said,
wait until the next disc comes out. And then he
did an unusual thing, Elijah. So he makes the dish,
(38:53):
they bring it to our table, and then he came
out and he just watched us eat it. He had
his chef towel on his shoulder and he just watched
this eat it like he's like, are you guys enjoying it?
Blah blah blah. And I was like, yes, he's very good.
But like I said to him, but in essence, like
why do you care? And he said, people think that
(39:15):
you've become a chef to cook food, but you actually
become a chef to make people happy through food, And
I was like, damn, I never really because in my head, like,
if he's a chef and he cooked, like, let's say
a burger, he probably cooked ten thousand burgers. So why
(39:36):
does he care what I think of the meal I'm eating?
And the answer is because he's using food to make
other people happy. So does he care about the food?
I don't know, but he cares about does the food
make other people happy? And he stood there like a
proud dad when me and my friend are gobbling up
the food and were saying to him, this is very good.
(39:58):
I thought about that moment, Elijah, whiley you were talking,
because I thought Elijah might be the only other person
I've ever met that experiences joy through food and has
a servant's heart. That was my favorite moments of our
whole conversation. My least favorite moment of the conversation. And again, Elijah,
I can't help it. I'm a psychotherapist. I notice these
little things you completely change when you start talking about
(40:21):
the obstacles between you and the thing that brings you joy. So,
for example, when I asked you how often do you cook?
You were like, it's complicated, you know, and you immediately
start talking about the obstacles between you and the thing
you want to do. And now I'm thinking, all right,
here's my job. My job is, and it's true for everybody,
(40:42):
Like if you want to have better mental health, you
really have to just do two things. You want to
have a better life, you just have to do two things.
The first thing, and Elijah, you are very young to
already know the answer to step number one. The first
thing is I have to discover what it is that
brings me jolling. And most people, in Elijah, they don't
(41:03):
know it in their early twenties. Most people find it
out later in life. But step one is, I have
to figure out what is that thing that, for whatever reason,
brings me joy. Number two you have to do that
thing frequently. So I need to ask you, Elijah, to
cook more. I don't care if you go get like
(41:27):
a little kind of dorm ring style hot plate and
you cook secretly in your room, just burn down the house.
I'll probably get so real bad.
Speaker 7 (41:38):
I don't care how you do it, but you are
doing yourself a disservice by not doing the thing that
you know you love with frequency.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Does that make sense? Yes? I follow a guy on
social media who was a shaf When COVID happened, all
the restaurants shut down, and he was in New York City.
He would go out on the balcony of his apartment
and yell down to the street. He would say, hey,
(42:14):
you with the red hoodie you're on. If I could
cook any one thing for you, what would it be?
The person would yell up from the street spaghetti bolnis
and he'd say, coming right up, and then he would
go and he would record himself making spaghetti bolonnaise. Then
(42:34):
he would bring it to the guy on the street
and he would say here and then the person would
eat it. He now is really famous and he even
though COVID, you know, we can go to restaurants all
that stuff, but he still does this, except now it'll
be a celebrity walking down the street, which I'm sure
is orchestrated, and he'll look ad hey, and then you
look up and it's like Denzel Washington and he'd be like,
(42:56):
what do you want me to cook for you? And
he'll say something butter chicken. I cook it. So my
challenge to you, my friend Elijah, is to get as
creative as you will to be, but you can't not
do the thing that you know brings you joy. The
reason I know not only is it food, but it's
also serving people, because every time you lit up talking
(43:18):
about food, it was when you did something for someone else.
And the very first thing you said, you said, I
would wake up and cook breakfast. And not only did
you say that in the saying I would tell her,
you said I would ask her if she wants the recipe,
which is a way of you serving her food long distance.
(43:40):
That is a very special trait to have. And this
might sound crazy, but the path to you being a
better version of yourself is through doing the thing you love,
and in this particular case, it is food and serving others.
Do that make sense? Yes? So can I challenge you
(44:01):
to get as creative as you need to be to
make sure that is in your life with a level
of frequency. Is that okay?
Speaker 5 (44:11):
I accept the challenge?
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Yeah? Awesome?
Speaker 5 (44:14):
All right?
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Did you find our chat useful? Yes?
Speaker 5 (44:17):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Well, you guys are both amazing. It is a pleasure
to get to know.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
You, all right, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
After sitting with Gladys and Elijah, what I realized is
that they already are consistent. They just weren't giving themselves
credit for it. Gladys has been committed to our spiritual
practice for over two decades. Elijah lights up when he
talks about cooking, about serving others, creating joy, and feeding
people as an act of care. Yet both of them
(44:47):
were measuring themselves against an impossible standard. And that's something
a lot of you listening may relate to. When anxiety
shows up, it often tells us we're failing because we paused,
because we rest did because we weren't perfect. But consistency
isn't about never stopping. Consistency is about continuing in the
(45:08):
same direction even when the pace changes. Take another step,
and another and another. If you're listening and you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious,
or stuck, this is your reminder that you don't need
one perfect solution. You need tools that fit you for
(45:29):
some people. That structure for others, its creativity for others,
its faith, movement, food service, spontaneity, or quiet mornings before
the world wakes up. So before we end, here are
a few questions you can ask yourself the next time
these themes show up in your life. Where am I
(45:49):
confusing consistency with perfection. What am I already doing well
even if I don't do it every day? What brings
(46:10):
me genuine joy? And how often am I allowing myself
to experience it? If I took one small step in
the same direction tomorrow, what would that look like? What
(46:31):
does taking care of myself actually mean for me, not
for anyone else. Progress doesn't come from pressure. It comes
from permission, the permission to be imperfect and to keep going.
(46:52):
And sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is
exactly what this family did today. Show up, stay honest,
and take the next step, and the next and the
next until it's consistent. I would love to.
Speaker 8 (47:25):
Hear from you about your healing journey, your family and
your feedback. Leave a review, send a DM, connect with
me on socials at Elliott Speaks, and you can also
send me a text message to nine seven two four
two six two six four zero. Family Therapy is a
production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect podcast Network special
thanks to our assistant Glendelle Seppe. It's produced by jack
(47:47):
Quise Thomas and the executive producer Dolly S.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
S Fisher. For more podcasts from The Black Effect, visit
the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
The content presented on the Family Therapy Podcast serves solely
for educational and informational purposes. It should not be considered
a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance and
does not constitute a provider patient relationship.
Speaker 8 (48:09):
It is advisable to consult with your healthcare provider or
health team, or any specific concern or questions you may have.
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