October 29, 2024 • 47 mins
You know the drill, and you’re definitely not new to this game. We might not be able to completely stop the forces but the more we understand why we tend to impulse purchase or what drives our choices, the better equipped we’ll be to interrupt those patterns—and the more confident we’ll feel in our spending. In this episode, Jen and Jill give us a sneak peak of this part of ‘Buy What You Love Without Going Broke’!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Episode four fifty four, How to Say No to Impulse Purchases.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
save money, embrace simplicity, and liver your life.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Welcome to Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my
name is Jill, and today we are taking a slight
departure from our normal format where we cover the internet's
most not reliable, but most obvious answers to our questions
about spending money in personal finance, and we are sharing
(00:47):
our own opinions, which may not be podcasts most accurate,
but it is the most in your face just like Google,
it's the most readily available answers to questions you may
or may not have had.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
There are times where we think we have the best
things to say on any given topic, like this one
impulse purchases. We talk about it a ton in our
upcoming book by What You Love Without Going Broke, and
we've talked about it a ton on the podcast. So
we feel as though it's time to do our own
dedicated episode about saying no to impulse purchases. But first,
(01:27):
this episode is brought to you by Easy Yes. Is
like when someone offers you a free hot dog, or
to clean your floors, or a lifetime supply of gum.
There are just some things in life that we can
respond to with an instant, emphatic yes, like ordering our
book By What you Love Without Going Broke. The title
is a banger, the content is fire. The authors are
(01:49):
slightly unhinged but completely trustworthy. So when we tell you
to stop what you're doing and pre order Buy What
you Love Without Going Broke at buywoulovebook dot com, we
know it's an easy Yeah. Yes, you won't regret this decision.
Come January, when you're ready to set yourself up for
financial success in twenty twenty five, and you've got this
puppy in your hands again by what you Love book
(02:11):
dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yes, don't wait, do it now, Do it now, four
before the holidays get you feeling discouraged.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
And before you hear all of our tips about how
to say no to impulse spending, make this impulse purchased
and then say no to the rest.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
So true the book will help you say no to
so many impulse purchases. It will literally pay for itself.
I think it will also help you save money on
some huge expenses and it will pay for itself ten
maybe a thousand times over. It's only twenty five dollars,
so it's very likely some of the tips in here
(02:52):
could save you money a thousand times over. I'm not lying,
I'm not over inflating it. I really do believe that.
So buy what you loovebook dot Com and Impulse Bedding.
Let's get down to it. We asked you guys about
it in the friend Letter that is our three time
weekly newsletter where we share freebies and saving tips and
(03:13):
even excerpts from the book, excerpts about values based spending,
and we ask you one, are you most likely to
impulse by late night on the phone, in person at
the store, when you're with other people, when you're stressed,
other and y'all had some interesting answers, but it was
(03:34):
a very evenly space between all of these options when
I'm stressed or excited, edged out slightly, but like, really,
everyone struggles with impulse spending for a different reason. I
would say, even the people if I was taking the poll,
(03:54):
which I didn't because I would skew it my one answer.
If I took the poll, I could answer all of these.
So I'm sure, we're definitely going to cover all four
of these options, but only six people chose other and uh,
we don't know what any of those responses are.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Did they not elaborate?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
No, But so many people like it's not just in store,
sometimes it's online. Some people do it, you know, with
other people, some people do more alone. Like it just
runs the gamut. So we're going to cover all of
it today because we cover all of it in our
book and this is just gonna be a fun little teaser.
(04:37):
We also have other episodes about impulse shopping to queue
up after this. We've got episode four oh eight What
Happens when You Stop Impulse Shopping, and then episode three
fifty one Impulse Buying What it is and how to Stop.
So those episodes we do cover some articles on the
internet and we have some spicy tape. It might be
(05:01):
interested in queueing them up after this.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
So we want to go through again something that we
talk about in the book by What we Love without
Going Broke is the top five reasons that we impulse by,
and we want to rattle those off to you all
today in this podcast episode, but also pair that with
ways that we can choose differently. So wherever you find
yourself in that kind of questionnaire, or as we talk
(05:25):
about these reasons that we impulse by identifying which one's
your impulse buying kind of kryptonite, which one are you
most drawn to, and what can you do as a result.
I love something that you've said Jen quite a bit
in the past, just to start the episode off, is
we all do it, and our friend letter poll proves
(05:47):
that we all impulse by maybe some of us more
than others, but it happens to all of us. And
I think it's important to recognize that there is a
reason behind our impulse buying, and there's a reason that
is not easy to just stop, even though we might
not feel great about the purchase afterward, or there might
be some guilt attached to it, or we wish that
(06:10):
we could put money towards these other goals that we have,
but instead we find ourselves just one click buying or
filling our cart with more than what was on our
shopping list. And I think to recognize that it's not
because oh, we're so weak or we're too easily influenced.
(06:30):
There's a whole lot going on behind the scenes when
it comes to marketing and advertising that is playing into
the ways that our brains are wired. How we think
about things are cognitive biases, which we'll get a little
bit more into that as we go along, But it's
worth noting at the top of this episode that there's
nothing wrong with you if impulse buy, it's very normal.
(06:51):
We probably will not be able to stop impulse buying
all together. But the more we can equip ourselves with
the knowledge and information around why it happens, the ways
in which we're prone to impulse by, the better able
we are to interrupt it, choose something differently, and feel
a lot more confident about the ways that we're managing
(07:13):
our money exactly.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
So, the first type, the first root cause of impulse
spending that we talk about in the book is one
that I think is kind of I think it is
the ultimate way that a lot of us impulse spend,
and understanding this one actually helps us with all the
(07:39):
other ones. And it's habit spending, because so often I
have found that even in talking about impulse spending and
talking about overconsumption, day after day after day, I still
fall prey to I will I will go to Starbucks
(07:59):
and do a drive through like treat for my son,
and then maybe just do another treat next week, and
then maybe the next week, maybe I do one with him,
and maybe I do just one with me, And it
slowly kind of spirals from this special thing I was
doing with my son to a habit of ending up
(08:22):
in the drive through. And so mine is usually coffee,
but like it could be anything, it could be escaping
to target or you know, anytime there's a sale, like
there's there's so many things, and we'll talk about these
roots of impulse spending, but ultimately, if we first understand
(08:44):
habits and habit spending, then we can better understand how
each of these other roots evolve. And so a lot
of you have heard of the habit Luke. We have
talked about it so much on this podcast, and we
love there's two I think two main kind of theories
in the habit loop. So Q craving response reward is
(09:07):
the typical one, but then you could also just Q
Q craving reward, and so it doesn't matter which one
you look at. Honestly, I think if you just look
at the Q, we know the craving the response to
the reward. Because we're talking about spending. I think we
just have to look at the Q so don't make
(09:29):
it super complicated. That's where the ninety day transaction inventory
comes in. And when you put all of your past
transactions out on the table, on the spreadsheet wherever you
have it, and you're looking for patterns, you're looking for
the queues are specifically what you are looking for. So
if you are making a lot of coffee purchases at
(09:51):
a certain time of day, like on your way to work,
that could be location. It could be preceding event leaving
your house, it could be time of day morning. You'll
find that usually these purchases won't just have one trigger,
won't have just one queue, but you need to identify
at least one queue for each of the patterns so
(10:15):
that you can start to say, Okay, the pattern is
I leave my house to go to work and I
stop at Starbucks on the way. I obviously cannot change
the location because that would involve changing either my house
or my work.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Can't touch that.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I can't change the time of day because I go,
or the preceding event, So I you know what can
I can? I can't change the time of day, but
I can change the preceding event, which is I can
I can make coffee at home and take it with me.
So a lot of the times we will say like,
I can't change because I can't change where I work,
(10:51):
I can't change where I live, I can't change the
time to day. But there's usually one trigger of the
many that can be interrupted. I know that was a
long ramble, I'm so sorry, or the.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Route that you take to work. And I know A
huge pushback on this too is oh, cutting out coffee
is not going to make a huge difference in my finances,
And we don't disagree. I think it's just an easy
example of something that could be habit spending. But it
also is you know, what could seven to ten dollars
(11:26):
a day mean to other financial goals or other things
that you would want to purchase. So I still think
it's worth looking at, but also recognize that that habit
spending can happen even apart from a coffee example, but
recognizing whether or not it's something that's happening just out
out of it's just what you're accustomed to doing, versus
(11:50):
intentional choices that are being made. The second most common
reason that we impulse by is shopping as an activity
this one, for me is one of my kryptonites personally.
I grew up going to the mall on the weekends
for fun, when I'm together with friends or my mom,
(12:12):
just going to a store window shopping as we often
call it. But we are always going into the stores
and walking around and usually buying something, allowing the shelves
and the racks to inform us on what we want
to spend our money on that day, not really going
in with a list, it's just something to do that
(12:33):
afternoon or that weekend. And so I think, what can
happen here in shifting If this is your circumstances. If
you're finding yourself just at the store but no list
in hand, no real reason to be there, you just
don't know what else to do, it's worthwhile to list
out what could be some alternative activities, because with any
(12:56):
of these that we're talking about, the way to say
no to impulse purchases is not simply to stop and
say no. It's to find replacements. It's to find alternatives.
We have to give ourselves something else to do, a
way to value whatever needs are going on for us,
(13:16):
and not just deprive ourselves. So I'm not saying don't
go shopping, just stay at home instead. It could be
are there people that you could get together with, could
you pick up a new hobby, could you do something
that's been on your to do list for a while,
and go shopping when you have a list. Right, Eventually,
(13:39):
we do spend money, and we can spend it intentionally,
but it doesn't have to be the thing that is
how we're entertaining ourselves and buying things that we don't
actually need, we weren't planning to purchase, and doesn't really
make us feel great after we've bought it.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, and shopping as an activity becomes habit. And one
of the big things about that we talk about in
frugality is cultivating creativity. And without borders, without limits, you
don't have any incentive to be creative with how you
(14:19):
spend your time, how you spend your money, and when
you give yourself these you know these barriers, you can
get creative. So there are so many activities you won't
like them all right, they're not all for you, but
you don't know the ones that are for you until
you try a lot that are not for you. So
(14:42):
getting creative with your activities, how you spend time with
friends is an integral part of frugality and values based spending.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Next, this was the.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Number one thing people said they impulse spot for is
stress shopping. But we actually think that it's just emotional shopping.
It's every emotion, so sad, happy, celebratory, lamenting, Like we
will shop for every perceivable emotion, it's just the primary
(15:16):
one that we shop for is when we're stressed. And
I feel that so intensely, I will, I will, I
will try to get off of social media because I
will stress scroll, and then social media will make me stressed,
so I'll get off of it. And then where do
(15:39):
I go? I for some reason, I will open up
Amazon and I'll stress scroll Amazon after my child screams
about me turning off Minecraft for the three hundred and
sixty eighth day in a row. So like, yeah, it's
just a mindless way to dissociate and regain control over
(16:04):
situations that I feel like I have very little control over.
And so the combat to that would be just having
a list of alternatives to feel to do when I
feel different emotions, and so addressing not even needing to
(16:26):
address the emotion head on, but to address that coping
mechanism head on is to just create a healthier coping mechanism.
So and the key to this is having different sizes
of activities of coping mechanisms. So when I'm scrolling Amazon
(16:51):
in my bed and I'm stressed, the solution is not
to get up and go for a run. Though exercise
and meditation are super helpful in relieving stress, I would
not get up and go for a run at that time.
I might try meditating more often than not. I'm going
(17:11):
to like recheck myself and be like, okay, I have
to stop scrolling. I'm going to turn on a phone game,
and my go to is Solitaire, so I'll do that.
But in a perfect world, the most ideal solutions are
either exercise or meditation, and I should probably meditate more.
(17:32):
If you are stronger than I am, that is what
I would recommend to you. And if you're like me,
I would say pick up Solitaire. It's the only child's
favorite phone game. If my trigger is going to target
when I'm stressed, then that's kind of like a medium
(17:53):
sized so that in that case, maybe trying a walk
or going outside in nature or something that's going to
give you a dopamine rush, similar to shopping, but in
a different way for a different price. And then there's
bigger things like shopping as an activity if we're stressed
and we're calling the girls and like let's go out
(18:15):
on the town. I'm feeling stressed, I just want to
buy dranks, creating a different big coping mechanism to where
you're gathering the girls and we're walking. We're just we're
going for a walk or we're doing something. So having
those different sizes again a lot of trial and error
to see what's going to work for you, but that's
(18:37):
an important distinction to have when you're trying to combat
the stress shopping.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Another type of list that you could have is identifying
what might work for you when feeling different emotions, So
literally having a written out list of when I'm happy,
what do I want to be engaging in when I'm sad?
Are some things that I can do to care for
myself when just listing out common emotions you've felt within
(19:06):
the last week and activities that you could do that
are free when you're feeling that way. And this is
something that you can absolutely use the Internet to help
you come up with a list, and like Jen mentioned earlier,
not all of them are going to work for you.
Some of them you'll try on for size and they
don't fit, and you can throw that one out. But eventually,
(19:27):
refining this list of here's what I can do when
I'm feeling this way and then that way, we can
know we are meeting the need. We're addressing the emotion
with something that's actually going to work, rather than slapping
a purchase onto something and it usually doesn't actually fulfill
whatever it is that we're looking for. The fourth reason
(19:50):
that many of us impulse shop is social influence. This
is both the people around us, our community, our friends,
our neighbors, as well as the people that we follow online.
So there's a lot of opportunity for impulse purchasing when
it comes to who it is that we follow, who
(20:13):
it is that we hang out with. When we see
other people having something or recommending something, or seemingly making
their lives better or more efficient, or giving us a
sense of if we had that thing, maybe we would
fit in. There'd be belonging community happening. As a result,
(20:33):
it can really influence us to want to buy that
thing again. From following people online and getting to know
someone's personality, what it is that they're doing, and trusting
their recommendations of skincare products, kitchen appliances. I mean, people
are selling clothing, people are selling everything online. And so
(20:57):
when we feel like we are connecting with someone on
Instagram or Facebook and they're talking about what it is
that they that they recommend, we are more likely to
want that item because there's this cognitive bias of social
proof that I like them, I trust them. They seem
(21:19):
to like this thing. It's working for them. I want
to try it out. Maybe it'll work for me. And
those thoughts aren't even necessarily happening in the way that
I'm saying them out loud. We sometimes don't even know
all that goes into our purchase. We don't realize that
it's because we trust them, we like them. We think
it'll solve our desire for belonging and self fulfillment. Our
(21:44):
brains just cut too. If I get yes, I want
that thing, I'm going to one click by it, and
that's the impulsiveness of it. Or we're at a friend's
house and they've got the latest type of appliance, rug
even cleaning products. My goodness, and now I think I
have to do that. If I buy that, then maybe
(22:05):
my house will be clean. If I buy that, maybe
my home will look as aesthetic as this place. Who
knows what it is that that might be connecting with you.
But the people that we're around play a massive role,
and so there's not much we can do about this
because we desire belonging and community and that's a very
(22:25):
good thing. So we don't want to cut out people.
But being aware of the ways in which the people
were around are influencing us. And this can be as
simple as creating a pause before our purchases. So whether
that's just asking ourselves a few simple questions of what
is behind me wanting to buy this thing? What problem
(22:48):
that I'm experiencing? Do I think that this will solve
for me? Can help in identifying is this actually something
that I want to do. Some other things that I've
found helpful is creating a life of the things that
I want to purchase. So if I do see somebody
selling something on Instagram, or a friend just got something,
or a neighbor's got a new gadget, I'll write it
(23:11):
down because it's good to value the need that is
arising the desire that's arising and put that energy somewhere,
But it doesn't mean that we need to use our
energy by buying the thing. We can put space in
between it. Create a list I keep it in my
notes app on my phone of here's something that I
want to purchase, want to buy this, want to get this.
(23:33):
So then when it comes time to maybe I am
out at the store, I'm running errands, I can look
at that list and identify is this something that I
still want? Have I lived life without it long enough
that I'm actually okay without it? The initial desire for
it has gone, and I'm okay without purchasing this. Can
(23:54):
I make this myself? Can I fix the problem with
things that I already have? Can I buy by this secondhand?
These are kind of the questions that I run through
before I'll end up purchasing something new. And finally, I
would recommend at least when it comes to who we're
following online, that could use a little bit of an
(24:15):
inventory and potentially an overhaul. If you're noticing that there's
particular people that you're following on social media who are
leading you to your most common impulse buys, maybe stop
following them for a little bit or hide their profile,
find people to follow that are going to encourage you
(24:36):
towards your goals. I think social media is a lovely
tool if we can curate it for ourselves in a
way that's going to be helpful for us. So following
people who are going to get as excited about cooking
at home or hosting in our home on a budget,
or hanging out with friends free ideas. All of these
(24:57):
accounts exist, and we can be following these people that
are supporting and encouraging us towards our goals rather than
depleting our energy, our emotions, our finances.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, the cleaning thing was so personally attacking to me
because I have definitely in my disdain for cleaning. I
hate cleaning, and so I am looking always for things
to make it easier. But the only thing that makes
it easier is doing it more frequently and shorter spurts.
(25:33):
And so it's a habit change that's the root cause
of my disdain for it. And I'm trying to buy
the solution to a problem whose solution is not purchasable,
or whose best solution is not purchased. It is a
It's a sorry, not a sorry. Excuse, but it is
(25:54):
a lesser excuse for the true solution.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
So it's yeah, yeah, will procress to spend. We'll spend
on the cleaning products because we think that's what's going
to make our house clean. We'll spend on all the
exercise gear and equipment because we think that's what's going
to get us to be exercising. We'll spend on the
journals so that we can start gratitude journaling, when in reality,
(26:21):
we already have these things at our disposal. We already
have at least soap and water and a rag at home.
We already have clothes we can wear to exercise, and
old ready tennis shoes if need be. We already have
paper and pen or even something digital that we can
be journaling with. But instead we'll go and buy the things,
(26:44):
thinking that purchasing the item is going to get us
closer to that goal, when really taking the steps towards
that goal is what we need to be doing first.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah, it's hard to hear that.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Sometimes I'm saying it to myself too.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, so we're going to move on because I don't
want to hear it. So the last one that I
actually love talking about one of the biggest reasons, and
this one's coming up with the holidays, is the thrill
of the hunt. We love hunting, and this comes from
somebody who does not love camping. I don't love thrifting
(27:22):
like hunting for things that I can, you know, But
I still feel a rush when I get a good
deal on something, especially if it was something I was
going to buy anyways. And that feeling is capitalized on
by companies because they want to give you a deal
(27:43):
on something you are going to buy in the hopes
of bringing you in because it is very likely you'll
add something to your cart that you weren't going to buy,
but you will because it's on sale. That is the
goal of sales, not to get you a deal. But
we love the thrill of the hunt, and so how
(28:03):
do we fulfill that specially, I mean, especially if you're
like me and I don't. I don't love other hunts.
So how do you fulfill that without spending unnecessarily? So
hunt something different? The most dangerous game goals that I
(28:24):
really wanted to put that in book. Spoiler it did
not make That line did not make the in the book.
But I really wanted to talk about hunting the most
dangerous game anyways, goals. I think a lot of the
thrill that I can get now is hunting some kind
of goal, and not big goals, but maybe smaller goals
(28:47):
and focusing on those. So, like I for the last
six weeks, I've been tracking my eating and that's been
a goal of mine, is to be more intentional with
tracking what I eat and making little changes to kind
of make healthier choices. So I haven't eaten out like
(29:10):
at all in the last six weeks except when we've
been out of town, but when we have been home,
we have eaten in like every night. It's been It's
it's been insane for me because I don't love cooking.
I hate dishes, and I'm always looking for inex used
to get out like and eat and it's just been
(29:31):
like mind blowing to me with this little like chase
that I've been doing to like track and like stay
on track has been doing for other things financially for me.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Yeah, the thrill of the hunt remains for me absolutely,
and I think that's one of those things we don't
have to entirely weed out, this desire to hunt for
a good deal. I think that's part of the best
fit of that this particular propensity is there can be
a lot more research that goes into your purchases and
(30:08):
potentially a lot more thought around it. So we can
certainly leverage this to our benefit in looking for the
best deal, the best way that you can solve for
this issue or problem that you're having without spending a
ton of money. So I think that this one can
(30:28):
can work in our favor. But also recognizing that there
are other things that we can replace here, like you
mentioned the new goal, Yeah, reading a book, trying out
a new hobby. I think there's so many things that
we can do that fit into that thing that many
of us have where we want to dig, we want
(30:50):
to search, we want to problem solve, and it doesn't
have to mean that we're buying something we didn't intend to.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah, and it sounds so silly, try another hobby, do this, like,
but it is so effective and just trying until you
get something that fits is it increases your creativity and
it makes you feel so good. It don't increase your confidence.
And so we talk about that stuff. And like some
(31:20):
other things in the book that are peripheral to these five,
like cognitive biases and so again you'll have to check
out the book and buy what you loovebook dot com
to get the rest of it.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
And the thing that has been most helpful for me
speaking of the peripheral stuff is the marketing tactics. I
think when we were researching for that and writing about that,
it was so illuminating and really helped to equip me
with knowledge and awareness to be more mindful and intentional
when I'm spending where now I can identify, oh, this
(31:57):
marketing tactic is at play here, I can be a
little bit more judicious about the ways that I'm thinking
about how I want to spend my money, and knowledgeable
about what's happening. What are the ways that they're trying
to utilize my cognitive biases, which can be really great
and helpful in some scenarios against me in this situation,
(32:19):
to make me spend money that I didn't want to.
So another peripheral topic that I think is so so
helpful if you want to be equipped even more on
this type of thing, how to say no to impulse
purchases again by what you loovebook dot com. But you
know what makes us equipped every single episode with just
(32:39):
the best tips and randomness.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
And you don't have to wait for this.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
The bill of the week.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
is Williams. Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your
car died and you're happy to not have to pay
that bill anymore. Such bills, butffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this
is the bill of the week.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Hi, Jenn and Jill.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
This is Friend Letter writer Kim, and I'm recording my
Bill of the week about the Renaissance Fare. My partner
wanted to go because he has never gone before for
his birthday, and while we were there, we got engaged,
and I wanted you guys to know danks have a
great weekend.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
We are both clearly finding out about this at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Sachell's face.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Congratulations, Kim, yay kay way.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah. We make our own sound effects over here.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
I don't know what sound effects are at the Renaissance
Spare or I would do them, but clink up. It's
swords clinging together in celebration.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
That too, oh Kim, how exciting?
Speaker 4 (34:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
So, Kim is one of our writers for the Friend Letter,
which we mentioned at the top of the episode is
where we all we send out freebies and savings tips,
how to spend more mindfully and in values based alignment,
and even excerpts from the book, and Kim helps us
to write those. Every week we give three free friend
(34:31):
letter emails a week and Kim is an awesome one.
She's got the same kind of wit and style that
we do and lots of fun memes in these friend
letters and it's where we pull you where we talk
about the polls in these episodes. So if you want
to get that friend letter, Frugal Friends podcast dot com.
(34:51):
But Kim is just a valued part of our team
and we knew that you were getting serious in this relationship.
But my goodness, this is so very exciting. Congratulations, what
a great bill. If you all want to submit your bill,
if it has to do with a renaissance fare or
(35:11):
getting engaged or getting married or having a baby or
just out life, if.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
You want to propose as a bill of the week,
please that would be a dream. That's my dream. Somebody's
proposing to someone as they're on the bill of the week.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Yeah, So Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash bill to
leave your bill and now it's time for the rush.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
All right?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
How do you extend grace to yourself after making an
impulse purchase?
Speaker 3 (35:51):
This is a question.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
It's a deep one. Jill. Can you go first from
this one? I really want to hear your answer.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Mine is kind of tongue in cheek, but it's accurate.
I'm not saying it's the best response or that everyone
should do this. But if I make an impulse purchase
and I don't feel good about it, I just return it.
That's just the truth of it. So I don't know
if that's exactly extending grace to myself, but it does
(36:19):
bring me relief. If I'm like, you know what, I
don't know why I bought this. I don't like it,
I don't want it. I don't want to go back
to the store. But that's what's going to happen. I mean,
maybe not the same exact day, but I'll just throw
it back in the car with the receipt and it
gets returned. If it's a purchase from a thrift store
(36:40):
or or you about what I thought returned or food, yeah,
or something, I do make sure that I use it.
I think that's the best way for me to feel
relief and freedom in it is to say, you know what,
that's a decision I made. I can learn from it.
There's the grace in it of letting myself off the hook,
(37:04):
but logging it so that it can inform future decisions,
and then using it, whether for myself or if I
decide I don't actually want this thing, but I know
someone who could benefit from it, that's always a silver
lining for me, as if it could be of use
to somebody else, that's what I do. How about you?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
For me, I something that's very much helped me, uh
is the non judgmental questions that we talk about in
chapter two is looking at my spending with neutrality, because
every purchase has a purpose, including and especially impulse purchases.
(37:49):
So asking myself non judgmental questions about why I made
the impulse purchase and then making a plan to make
a better choice or more I ues aligned choice in
the future. And that's kind of something I'm doing with this.
With tracking my food for the past six weeks has
(38:10):
been because I was eating out more than I liked
and I was not making it. I was buying something
that should have lasted me all week and like eating
it in two days. Sort of thing to the point
where like Travis would get mad because we were like
trying to split something, and then I just couldn't help
myself and I would eat all of it and leave
nothing for him, and it would be two days, right,
(38:32):
and so he didn't even have time, and so like now,
so this has been my solution to that. And yeah,
just making a plan and looking at it nudjudgmentally.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yeah that's good.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
So I hope this episode helped you to think about
some of your impulse spending, to think honestly about impulse
spending in a more holistic way, that there are multiple
root causes to it and multiple solutions, and in our
book we even propose an exercise you can do to
(39:11):
more quickly round out these solutions and come up with them.
So highly recommend by what you lovebook dot com. Thank
you for listening. We love reading your kind reviews, especially
this one for Maya in the Sun It happens to
be five stars. I love these girls. Practical, relevant, and
(39:31):
a little weird. This podcast is not only full of
practical tips and tricks to save money, but full of
fun and weirdness too. Listening to Jen and Jill is
like sitting in your back patio on a perfect summer afternoon,
drinking a margarita with your best girls and talking money.
They're so purely themselves and it makes them so relatable.
The topics are almost always relevant to me as a
(39:52):
woman in her early thirties with no kids, but there's
something for everyone. The show is really a breath of
fresh air amid all the stuff or bro dude personal
finance podcasts that are out there. Jen and Jill are
girls girls, and I love it.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Oh my yeah, we are not with you drinking marks.
I'm feeling that I wish that's where we were right now,
summer afternoon, drinking a mark, talking money, being relatable about.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
This is the perfect maya thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
It is funny. Eric said, I think your listeners know
you know you better than you think that they do,
because I'm like, you know, the podcast is just part
of me. It's like, no, you really are just yourself.
I think they they know you and get you and
your style just who you are a whole lot more
(40:45):
than well.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I got an email literally the other day from a
listener who sent me a picture of her water bottle
and she's like, I thought about your new shirt that
you just got that says support local libraries. And so
she got a sticker from her local library. I think
it said like like I love the Wisconsin Library or
Wisconsin Library loves me or something.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
It was right under our fruiting frodare.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yeah, and I was like, you know me, I'm a
one issue voter and that's my issue.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
It's libraries. Wow.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
Well, thank you so much, Maya. We feel like you
get us, and we're glad that you feel as though
we get you. And we love that review. And if
you all are listening and you haven't left us a
review yet, and you do think that you know us
more than we realize you know us, please leave us
a review telling us that we'd love to hear how
(41:39):
many of you are out there just just getting us.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Just leave a review with something.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Really like oddly specific about one of us that you
think is oddly specific and really really weird.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
Thanks everyone, See you next time.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Google Friends is produced by Eric.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Sirianni speaking of people understanding us. So we just had
an awful hurricane here. By the time this comes out,
(42:22):
we will be weeks post Hurricane Helene. But Jenna and
I are both in the Tampa Bay area and it's
been really, really, really rough. Thankfully, we are okay and
as far as the people that were connected with our communities,
our neighborhoods devastated but moving through it. And I was
(42:44):
out in the immediate wake of this at home depot
getting supplies and helping people clean out their flooded homes,
and I walk out and they were offering free hot dogs.
This guy just yelled out, you want a free hot dog?
And I've never heard someone yell that to me before.
My initial reaction was like, oh, I don't I don't
(43:06):
know if I want to if I want to buy
a hot dog, and then the free settled in. I'm like, yes,
immediate tes automatic, yes, free hot dogs. Then I'm like,
oh man, the Frugal Friends community would love to know this.
And also we had a lot of people checking in
like how are you doing, So I'm like, this is
a great way to update everybody that we are okay
(43:28):
and good things are still happening in the midst of tragedy.
So anyways, I posted about that on our stories and
and we had somebody respond like, oh my gosh, I
knew you loved hot dogs so much. I can't believe
you're holding two in one hand. I don't know why
that impressed them, very easy to hold two hot dogs
in one hand.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Your hands are so small, Jill, I can't believe you're
holding two.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
One for me, one for my husband. I wasn't getting
too greedy with it, but yeah, we had people certainly
commenting on the hot dog bit, like yeah, of course,
of course, because you love hot dogs, like you guys
get me.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, I don't, So I don't usually like when I
tell people I live where I live, I usually say
Saint Pete because it's more like easily recognizable, but I
actually live in Gulfport, Florida. And Gulfport got a lot
of national media coverage around Helene because a lot of
(44:29):
it was uncharacteristically devastated, Like there are some areas that
flood frequently and knew they were going to get flooding,
and Golfport is on the water but does not typically flood. Yeah,
and so it has been really interesting to be so close.
(44:51):
Last year, when Ian came, we were pretty far removed
from all that devastation, and like today I am a
four minute drive from where Gulfport basically ends now, Like, yeah,
those those roads in those houses were just like decimated.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
It is wild because I've seen, you know, you see
stories throughout life of various communities getting hit with a
natural disaster and seeing what devastation and need and rebuild
efforts happen and how long it takes. But to actually
be now living in the community where that's happening and
(45:34):
seeing it firsthand, it's it's a whole other animal.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
But yeah, people are stuff.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
But it's been yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Yeah, North Carolina, you know, and parts of Georgia.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
See and Georgia, so so so many people.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
The needs are so widespread and and I know with
something like this there can be this absurgence of oh
how can I help in the immediate aftermath, And I
think what we can forget about is that there are
needs that happen one, two, three months out from it.
So yeah, if you're listening, if you're still with us listening,
(46:14):
it's about a month out probably since the storm. Yeah,
efforts are still happening. I think my takeaway from this
is best a partner with organizations that are already doing stuff.
So whether that's the Red Cross or Smaritan's Purse or
local organizations, A lot of businesses and restaurants are doing
(46:36):
relief efforts partnering with other people. So yeah, good thing
to keep in mind.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Shout out to Gulfport, Mississippi who specifically raising supplies and
money for Gulfport, Florida. Calling them they're like a little
sister or something.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
I don't know. It was really cute to see. Yeah,
who very cool.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
So that's yeah, there are some good organizations that are
doing some good work here, and help them, help us
help our communities because we love these communities, We love
these neighborhoods, our beaches. We want to see them come
(47:22):
back and their employees back, residents back, and so please
if you are able to, yeah, we'd love to see
our community rise up.
Speaker 3 (47:40):
Fee yah
Episode four fifty four, How to Say No to Impulse Purchases.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
save money, embrace simplicity, and liver your life.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Welcome to Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my
name is Jill, and today we are taking a slight
departure from our normal format where we cover the internet's
most not reliable, but most obvious answers to our questions
about spending money in personal finance, and we are sharing
(00:47):
our own opinions, which may not be podcasts most accurate,
but it is the most in your face just like Google,
it's the most readily available answers to questions you may
or may not have had.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
There are times where we think we have the best
things to say on any given topic, like this one
impulse purchases. We talk about it a ton in our
upcoming book by What You Love Without Going Broke, and
we've talked about it a ton on the podcast. So
we feel as though it's time to do our own
dedicated episode about saying no to impulse purchases. But first,
(01:27):
this episode is brought to you by Easy Yes. Is
like when someone offers you a free hot dog, or
to clean your floors, or a lifetime supply of gum.
There are just some things in life that we can
respond to with an instant, emphatic yes, like ordering our
book By What you Love Without Going Broke. The title
is a banger, the content is fire. The authors are
(01:49):
slightly unhinged but completely trustworthy. So when we tell you
to stop what you're doing and pre order Buy What
you Love Without Going Broke at buywoulovebook dot com, we
know it's an easy Yeah. Yes, you won't regret this decision.
Come January, when you're ready to set yourself up for
financial success in twenty twenty five, and you've got this
puppy in your hands again by what you Love book
(02:11):
dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yes, don't wait, do it now, Do it now, four
before the holidays get you feeling discouraged.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
And before you hear all of our tips about how
to say no to impulse spending, make this impulse purchased
and then say no to the rest.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
So true the book will help you say no to
so many impulse purchases. It will literally pay for itself.
I think it will also help you save money on
some huge expenses and it will pay for itself ten
maybe a thousand times over. It's only twenty five dollars,
so it's very likely some of the tips in here
(02:52):
could save you money a thousand times over. I'm not lying,
I'm not over inflating it. I really do believe that.
So buy what you loovebook dot Com and Impulse Bedding.
Let's get down to it. We asked you guys about
it in the friend Letter that is our three time
weekly newsletter where we share freebies and saving tips and
(03:13):
even excerpts from the book, excerpts about values based spending,
and we ask you one, are you most likely to
impulse by late night on the phone, in person at
the store, when you're with other people, when you're stressed,
other and y'all had some interesting answers, but it was
(03:34):
a very evenly space between all of these options when
I'm stressed or excited, edged out slightly, but like, really,
everyone struggles with impulse spending for a different reason. I
would say, even the people if I was taking the poll,
(03:54):
which I didn't because I would skew it my one answer.
If I took the poll, I could answer all of these.
So I'm sure, we're definitely going to cover all four
of these options, but only six people chose other and uh,
we don't know what any of those responses are.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Did they not elaborate?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
No, But so many people like it's not just in store,
sometimes it's online. Some people do it, you know, with
other people, some people do more alone. Like it just
runs the gamut. So we're going to cover all of
it today because we cover all of it in our
book and this is just gonna be a fun little teaser.
(04:37):
We also have other episodes about impulse shopping to queue
up after this. We've got episode four oh eight What
Happens when You Stop Impulse Shopping, and then episode three
fifty one Impulse Buying What it is and how to Stop.
So those episodes we do cover some articles on the
internet and we have some spicy tape. It might be
(05:01):
interested in queueing them up after this.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
So we want to go through again something that we
talk about in the book by What we Love without
Going Broke is the top five reasons that we impulse by,
and we want to rattle those off to you all
today in this podcast episode, but also pair that with
ways that we can choose differently. So wherever you find
yourself in that kind of questionnaire, or as we talk
(05:25):
about these reasons that we impulse by identifying which one's
your impulse buying kind of kryptonite, which one are you
most drawn to, and what can you do as a result.
I love something that you've said Jen quite a bit
in the past, just to start the episode off, is
we all do it, and our friend letter poll proves
(05:47):
that we all impulse by maybe some of us more
than others, but it happens to all of us. And
I think it's important to recognize that there is a
reason behind our impulse buying, and there's a reason that
is not easy to just stop, even though we might
not feel great about the purchase afterward, or there might
be some guilt attached to it, or we wish that
(06:10):
we could put money towards these other goals that we have,
but instead we find ourselves just one click buying or
filling our cart with more than what was on our
shopping list. And I think to recognize that it's not
because oh, we're so weak or we're too easily influenced.
(06:30):
There's a whole lot going on behind the scenes when
it comes to marketing and advertising that is playing into
the ways that our brains are wired. How we think
about things are cognitive biases, which we'll get a little
bit more into that as we go along, But it's
worth noting at the top of this episode that there's
nothing wrong with you if impulse buy, it's very normal.
(06:51):
We probably will not be able to stop impulse buying
all together. But the more we can equip ourselves with
the knowledge and information around why it happens, the ways
in which we're prone to impulse by, the better able
we are to interrupt it, choose something differently, and feel
a lot more confident about the ways that we're managing
(07:13):
our money exactly.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
So, the first type, the first root cause of impulse
spending that we talk about in the book is one
that I think is kind of I think it is
the ultimate way that a lot of us impulse spend,
and understanding this one actually helps us with all the
(07:39):
other ones. And it's habit spending, because so often I
have found that even in talking about impulse spending and
talking about overconsumption, day after day after day, I still
fall prey to I will I will go to Starbucks
(07:59):
and do a drive through like treat for my son,
and then maybe just do another treat next week, and
then maybe the next week, maybe I do one with him,
and maybe I do just one with me, And it
slowly kind of spirals from this special thing I was
doing with my son to a habit of ending up
(08:22):
in the drive through. And so mine is usually coffee,
but like it could be anything, it could be escaping
to target or you know, anytime there's a sale, like
there's there's so many things, and we'll talk about these
roots of impulse spending, but ultimately, if we first understand
(08:44):
habits and habit spending, then we can better understand how
each of these other roots evolve. And so a lot
of you have heard of the habit Luke. We have
talked about it so much on this podcast, and we
love there's two I think two main kind of theories
in the habit loop. So Q craving response reward is
(09:07):
the typical one, but then you could also just Q
Q craving reward, and so it doesn't matter which one
you look at. Honestly, I think if you just look
at the Q, we know the craving the response to
the reward. Because we're talking about spending. I think we
just have to look at the Q so don't make
(09:29):
it super complicated. That's where the ninety day transaction inventory
comes in. And when you put all of your past
transactions out on the table, on the spreadsheet wherever you
have it, and you're looking for patterns, you're looking for
the queues are specifically what you are looking for. So
if you are making a lot of coffee purchases at
(09:51):
a certain time of day, like on your way to work,
that could be location. It could be preceding event leaving
your house, it could be time of day morning. You'll
find that usually these purchases won't just have one trigger,
won't have just one queue, but you need to identify
at least one queue for each of the patterns so
(10:15):
that you can start to say, Okay, the pattern is
I leave my house to go to work and I
stop at Starbucks on the way. I obviously cannot change
the location because that would involve changing either my house
or my work.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Can't touch that.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I can't change the time of day because I go,
or the preceding event, So I you know what can
I can? I can't change the time of day, but
I can change the preceding event, which is I can
I can make coffee at home and take it with me.
So a lot of the times we will say like,
I can't change because I can't change where I work,
(10:51):
I can't change where I live, I can't change the
time to day. But there's usually one trigger of the
many that can be interrupted. I know that was a
long ramble, I'm so sorry, or the.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Route that you take to work. And I know A
huge pushback on this too is oh, cutting out coffee
is not going to make a huge difference in my finances,
And we don't disagree. I think it's just an easy
example of something that could be habit spending. But it
also is you know, what could seven to ten dollars
(11:26):
a day mean to other financial goals or other things
that you would want to purchase. So I still think
it's worth looking at, but also recognize that that habit
spending can happen even apart from a coffee example, but
recognizing whether or not it's something that's happening just out
out of it's just what you're accustomed to doing, versus
(11:50):
intentional choices that are being made. The second most common
reason that we impulse by is shopping as an activity
this one, for me is one of my kryptonites personally.
I grew up going to the mall on the weekends
for fun, when I'm together with friends or my mom,
(12:12):
just going to a store window shopping as we often
call it. But we are always going into the stores
and walking around and usually buying something, allowing the shelves
and the racks to inform us on what we want
to spend our money on that day, not really going
in with a list, it's just something to do that
(12:33):
afternoon or that weekend. And so I think, what can
happen here in shifting If this is your circumstances. If
you're finding yourself just at the store but no list
in hand, no real reason to be there, you just
don't know what else to do, it's worthwhile to list
out what could be some alternative activities, because with any
(12:56):
of these that we're talking about, the way to say
no to impulse purchases is not simply to stop and
say no. It's to find replacements. It's to find alternatives.
We have to give ourselves something else to do, a
way to value whatever needs are going on for us,
(13:16):
and not just deprive ourselves. So I'm not saying don't
go shopping, just stay at home instead. It could be
are there people that you could get together with, could
you pick up a new hobby, could you do something
that's been on your to do list for a while,
and go shopping when you have a list. Right, Eventually,
(13:39):
we do spend money, and we can spend it intentionally,
but it doesn't have to be the thing that is
how we're entertaining ourselves and buying things that we don't
actually need, we weren't planning to purchase, and doesn't really
make us feel great after we've bought it.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, and shopping as an activity becomes habit. And one
of the big things about that we talk about in
frugality is cultivating creativity. And without borders, without limits, you
don't have any incentive to be creative with how you
(14:19):
spend your time, how you spend your money, and when
you give yourself these you know these barriers, you can
get creative. So there are so many activities you won't
like them all right, they're not all for you, but
you don't know the ones that are for you until
you try a lot that are not for you. So
(14:42):
getting creative with your activities, how you spend time with
friends is an integral part of frugality and values based spending.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Next, this was the.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Number one thing people said they impulse spot for is
stress shopping. But we actually think that it's just emotional shopping.
It's every emotion, so sad, happy, celebratory, lamenting, Like we
will shop for every perceivable emotion, it's just the primary
(15:16):
one that we shop for is when we're stressed. And
I feel that so intensely, I will, I will, I
will try to get off of social media because I
will stress scroll, and then social media will make me stressed,
so I'll get off of it. And then where do
(15:39):
I go? I for some reason, I will open up
Amazon and I'll stress scroll Amazon after my child screams
about me turning off Minecraft for the three hundred and
sixty eighth day in a row. So like, yeah, it's
just a mindless way to dissociate and regain control over
(16:04):
situations that I feel like I have very little control over.
And so the combat to that would be just having
a list of alternatives to feel to do when I
feel different emotions, and so addressing not even needing to
(16:26):
address the emotion head on, but to address that coping
mechanism head on is to just create a healthier coping mechanism.
So and the key to this is having different sizes
of activities of coping mechanisms. So when I'm scrolling Amazon
(16:51):
in my bed and I'm stressed, the solution is not
to get up and go for a run. Though exercise
and meditation are super helpful in relieving stress, I would
not get up and go for a run at that time.
I might try meditating more often than not. I'm going
(17:11):
to like recheck myself and be like, okay, I have
to stop scrolling. I'm going to turn on a phone game,
and my go to is Solitaire, so I'll do that.
But in a perfect world, the most ideal solutions are
either exercise or meditation, and I should probably meditate more.
(17:32):
If you are stronger than I am, that is what
I would recommend to you. And if you're like me,
I would say pick up Solitaire. It's the only child's
favorite phone game. If my trigger is going to target
when I'm stressed, then that's kind of like a medium
(17:53):
sized so that in that case, maybe trying a walk
or going outside in nature or something that's going to
give you a dopamine rush, similar to shopping, but in
a different way for a different price. And then there's
bigger things like shopping as an activity if we're stressed
and we're calling the girls and like let's go out
(18:15):
on the town. I'm feeling stressed, I just want to
buy dranks, creating a different big coping mechanism to where
you're gathering the girls and we're walking. We're just we're
going for a walk or we're doing something. So having
those different sizes again a lot of trial and error
to see what's going to work for you, but that's
(18:37):
an important distinction to have when you're trying to combat
the stress shopping.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Another type of list that you could have is identifying
what might work for you when feeling different emotions, So
literally having a written out list of when I'm happy,
what do I want to be engaging in when I'm sad?
Are some things that I can do to care for
myself when just listing out common emotions you've felt within
(19:06):
the last week and activities that you could do that
are free when you're feeling that way. And this is
something that you can absolutely use the Internet to help
you come up with a list, and like Jen mentioned earlier,
not all of them are going to work for you.
Some of them you'll try on for size and they
don't fit, and you can throw that one out. But eventually,
(19:27):
refining this list of here's what I can do when
I'm feeling this way and then that way, we can
know we are meeting the need. We're addressing the emotion
with something that's actually going to work, rather than slapping
a purchase onto something and it usually doesn't actually fulfill
whatever it is that we're looking for. The fourth reason
(19:50):
that many of us impulse shop is social influence. This
is both the people around us, our community, our friends,
our neighbors, as well as the people that we follow online.
So there's a lot of opportunity for impulse purchasing when
it comes to who it is that we follow, who
(20:13):
it is that we hang out with. When we see
other people having something or recommending something, or seemingly making
their lives better or more efficient, or giving us a
sense of if we had that thing, maybe we would
fit in. There'd be belonging community happening. As a result,
(20:33):
it can really influence us to want to buy that
thing again. From following people online and getting to know
someone's personality, what it is that they're doing, and trusting
their recommendations of skincare products, kitchen appliances. I mean, people
are selling clothing, people are selling everything online. And so
(20:57):
when we feel like we are connecting with someone on
Instagram or Facebook and they're talking about what it is
that they that they recommend, we are more likely to
want that item because there's this cognitive bias of social
proof that I like them, I trust them. They seem
(21:19):
to like this thing. It's working for them. I want
to try it out. Maybe it'll work for me. And
those thoughts aren't even necessarily happening in the way that
I'm saying them out loud. We sometimes don't even know
all that goes into our purchase. We don't realize that
it's because we trust them, we like them. We think
it'll solve our desire for belonging and self fulfillment. Our
(21:44):
brains just cut too. If I get yes, I want
that thing, I'm going to one click by it, and
that's the impulsiveness of it. Or we're at a friend's
house and they've got the latest type of appliance, rug
even cleaning products. My goodness, and now I think I
have to do that. If I buy that, then maybe
(22:05):
my house will be clean. If I buy that, maybe
my home will look as aesthetic as this place. Who
knows what it is that that might be connecting with you.
But the people that we're around play a massive role,
and so there's not much we can do about this
because we desire belonging and community and that's a very
(22:25):
good thing. So we don't want to cut out people.
But being aware of the ways in which the people
were around are influencing us. And this can be as
simple as creating a pause before our purchases. So whether
that's just asking ourselves a few simple questions of what
is behind me wanting to buy this thing? What problem
(22:48):
that I'm experiencing? Do I think that this will solve
for me? Can help in identifying is this actually something
that I want to do. Some other things that I've
found helpful is creating a life of the things that
I want to purchase. So if I do see somebody
selling something on Instagram, or a friend just got something,
or a neighbor's got a new gadget, I'll write it
(23:11):
down because it's good to value the need that is
arising the desire that's arising and put that energy somewhere,
But it doesn't mean that we need to use our
energy by buying the thing. We can put space in
between it. Create a list I keep it in my
notes app on my phone of here's something that I
want to purchase, want to buy this, want to get this.
(23:33):
So then when it comes time to maybe I am
out at the store, I'm running errands, I can look
at that list and identify is this something that I
still want? Have I lived life without it long enough
that I'm actually okay without it? The initial desire for
it has gone, and I'm okay without purchasing this. Can
(23:54):
I make this myself? Can I fix the problem with
things that I already have? Can I buy by this secondhand?
These are kind of the questions that I run through
before I'll end up purchasing something new. And finally, I
would recommend at least when it comes to who we're
following online, that could use a little bit of an
(24:15):
inventory and potentially an overhaul. If you're noticing that there's
particular people that you're following on social media who are
leading you to your most common impulse buys, maybe stop
following them for a little bit or hide their profile,
find people to follow that are going to encourage you
(24:36):
towards your goals. I think social media is a lovely
tool if we can curate it for ourselves in a
way that's going to be helpful for us. So following
people who are going to get as excited about cooking
at home or hosting in our home on a budget,
or hanging out with friends free ideas. All of these
(24:57):
accounts exist, and we can be following these people that
are supporting and encouraging us towards our goals rather than
depleting our energy, our emotions, our finances.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, the cleaning thing was so personally attacking to me
because I have definitely in my disdain for cleaning. I
hate cleaning, and so I am looking always for things
to make it easier. But the only thing that makes
it easier is doing it more frequently and shorter spurts.
(25:33):
And so it's a habit change that's the root cause
of my disdain for it. And I'm trying to buy
the solution to a problem whose solution is not purchasable,
or whose best solution is not purchased. It is a
It's a sorry, not a sorry. Excuse, but it is
(25:54):
a lesser excuse for the true solution.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
So it's yeah, yeah, will procress to spend. We'll spend
on the cleaning products because we think that's what's going
to make our house clean. We'll spend on all the
exercise gear and equipment because we think that's what's going
to get us to be exercising. We'll spend on the
journals so that we can start gratitude journaling, when in reality,
(26:21):
we already have these things at our disposal. We already
have at least soap and water and a rag at home.
We already have clothes we can wear to exercise, and
old ready tennis shoes if need be. We already have
paper and pen or even something digital that we can
be journaling with. But instead we'll go and buy the things,
(26:44):
thinking that purchasing the item is going to get us
closer to that goal, when really taking the steps towards
that goal is what we need to be doing first.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah, it's hard to hear that.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Sometimes I'm saying it to myself too.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, so we're going to move on because I don't
want to hear it. So the last one that I
actually love talking about one of the biggest reasons, and
this one's coming up with the holidays, is the thrill
of the hunt. We love hunting, and this comes from
somebody who does not love camping. I don't love thrifting
(27:22):
like hunting for things that I can, you know, But
I still feel a rush when I get a good
deal on something, especially if it was something I was
going to buy anyways. And that feeling is capitalized on
by companies because they want to give you a deal
(27:43):
on something you are going to buy in the hopes
of bringing you in because it is very likely you'll
add something to your cart that you weren't going to buy,
but you will because it's on sale. That is the
goal of sales, not to get you a deal. But
we love the thrill of the hunt, and so how
(28:03):
do we fulfill that specially, I mean, especially if you're
like me and I don't. I don't love other hunts.
So how do you fulfill that without spending unnecessarily? So
hunt something different? The most dangerous game goals that I
(28:24):
really wanted to put that in book. Spoiler it did
not make That line did not make the in the book.
But I really wanted to talk about hunting the most
dangerous game anyways, goals. I think a lot of the
thrill that I can get now is hunting some kind
of goal, and not big goals, but maybe smaller goals
(28:47):
and focusing on those. So, like I for the last
six weeks, I've been tracking my eating and that's been
a goal of mine, is to be more intentional with
tracking what I eat and making little changes to kind
of make healthier choices. So I haven't eaten out like
(29:10):
at all in the last six weeks except when we've
been out of town, but when we have been home,
we have eaten in like every night. It's been It's
it's been insane for me because I don't love cooking.
I hate dishes, and I'm always looking for inex used
to get out like and eat and it's just been
(29:31):
like mind blowing to me with this little like chase
that I've been doing to like track and like stay
on track has been doing for other things financially for me.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Yeah, the thrill of the hunt remains for me absolutely,
and I think that's one of those things we don't
have to entirely weed out, this desire to hunt for
a good deal. I think that's part of the best
fit of that this particular propensity is there can be
a lot more research that goes into your purchases and
(30:08):
potentially a lot more thought around it. So we can
certainly leverage this to our benefit in looking for the
best deal, the best way that you can solve for
this issue or problem that you're having without spending a
ton of money. So I think that this one can
(30:28):
can work in our favor. But also recognizing that there
are other things that we can replace here, like you
mentioned the new goal, Yeah, reading a book, trying out
a new hobby. I think there's so many things that
we can do that fit into that thing that many
of us have where we want to dig, we want
(30:50):
to search, we want to problem solve, and it doesn't
have to mean that we're buying something we didn't intend to.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah, and it sounds so silly, try another hobby, do this, like,
but it is so effective and just trying until you
get something that fits is it increases your creativity and
it makes you feel so good. It don't increase your confidence.
And so we talk about that stuff. And like some
(31:20):
other things in the book that are peripheral to these five,
like cognitive biases and so again you'll have to check
out the book and buy what you loovebook dot com
to get the rest of it.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
And the thing that has been most helpful for me
speaking of the peripheral stuff is the marketing tactics. I
think when we were researching for that and writing about that,
it was so illuminating and really helped to equip me
with knowledge and awareness to be more mindful and intentional
when I'm spending where now I can identify, oh, this
(31:57):
marketing tactic is at play here, I can be a
little bit more judicious about the ways that I'm thinking
about how I want to spend my money, and knowledgeable
about what's happening. What are the ways that they're trying
to utilize my cognitive biases, which can be really great
and helpful in some scenarios against me in this situation,
(32:19):
to make me spend money that I didn't want to.
So another peripheral topic that I think is so so
helpful if you want to be equipped even more on
this type of thing, how to say no to impulse
purchases again by what you loovebook dot com. But you
know what makes us equipped every single episode with just
(32:39):
the best tips and randomness.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
And you don't have to wait for this.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
The bill of the week.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
is Williams. Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your
car died and you're happy to not have to pay
that bill anymore. Such bills, butffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this
is the bill of the week.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Hi, Jenn and Jill.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
This is Friend Letter writer Kim, and I'm recording my
Bill of the week about the Renaissance Fare. My partner
wanted to go because he has never gone before for
his birthday, and while we were there, we got engaged,
and I wanted you guys to know danks have a
great weekend.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
We are both clearly finding out about this at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Sachell's face.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Congratulations, Kim, yay kay way.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah. We make our own sound effects over here.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
I don't know what sound effects are at the Renaissance
Spare or I would do them, but clink up. It's
swords clinging together in celebration.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
That too, oh Kim, how exciting?
Speaker 4 (34:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
So, Kim is one of our writers for the Friend Letter,
which we mentioned at the top of the episode is
where we all we send out freebies and savings tips,
how to spend more mindfully and in values based alignment,
and even excerpts from the book, and Kim helps us
to write those. Every week we give three free friend
(34:31):
letter emails a week and Kim is an awesome one.
She's got the same kind of wit and style that
we do and lots of fun memes in these friend
letters and it's where we pull you where we talk
about the polls in these episodes. So if you want
to get that friend letter, Frugal Friends podcast dot com.
(34:51):
But Kim is just a valued part of our team
and we knew that you were getting serious in this relationship.
But my goodness, this is so very exciting. Congratulations, what
a great bill. If you all want to submit your bill,
if it has to do with a renaissance fare or
(35:11):
getting engaged or getting married or having a baby or
just out life, if.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
You want to propose as a bill of the week,
please that would be a dream. That's my dream. Somebody's
proposing to someone as they're on the bill of the week.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Yeah, So Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash bill to
leave your bill and now it's time for the rush.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
All right?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
How do you extend grace to yourself after making an
impulse purchase?
Speaker 3 (35:51):
This is a question.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
It's a deep one. Jill. Can you go first from
this one? I really want to hear your answer.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Mine is kind of tongue in cheek, but it's accurate.
I'm not saying it's the best response or that everyone
should do this. But if I make an impulse purchase
and I don't feel good about it, I just return it.
That's just the truth of it. So I don't know
if that's exactly extending grace to myself, but it does
(36:19):
bring me relief. If I'm like, you know what, I
don't know why I bought this. I don't like it,
I don't want it. I don't want to go back
to the store. But that's what's going to happen. I mean,
maybe not the same exact day, but I'll just throw
it back in the car with the receipt and it
gets returned. If it's a purchase from a thrift store
(36:40):
or or you about what I thought returned or food, yeah,
or something, I do make sure that I use it.
I think that's the best way for me to feel
relief and freedom in it is to say, you know what,
that's a decision I made. I can learn from it.
There's the grace in it of letting myself off the hook,
(37:04):
but logging it so that it can inform future decisions,
and then using it, whether for myself or if I
decide I don't actually want this thing, but I know
someone who could benefit from it, that's always a silver
lining for me, as if it could be of use
to somebody else, that's what I do. How about you?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
For me, I something that's very much helped me, uh
is the non judgmental questions that we talk about in
chapter two is looking at my spending with neutrality, because
every purchase has a purpose, including and especially impulse purchases.
(37:49):
So asking myself non judgmental questions about why I made
the impulse purchase and then making a plan to make
a better choice or more I ues aligned choice in
the future. And that's kind of something I'm doing with this.
With tracking my food for the past six weeks has
(38:10):
been because I was eating out more than I liked
and I was not making it. I was buying something
that should have lasted me all week and like eating
it in two days. Sort of thing to the point
where like Travis would get mad because we were like
trying to split something, and then I just couldn't help
myself and I would eat all of it and leave
nothing for him, and it would be two days, right,
(38:32):
and so he didn't even have time, and so like now,
so this has been my solution to that. And yeah,
just making a plan and looking at it nudjudgmentally.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yeah that's good.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
So I hope this episode helped you to think about
some of your impulse spending, to think honestly about impulse
spending in a more holistic way, that there are multiple
root causes to it and multiple solutions, and in our
book we even propose an exercise you can do to
(39:11):
more quickly round out these solutions and come up with them.
So highly recommend by what you lovebook dot com. Thank
you for listening. We love reading your kind reviews, especially
this one for Maya in the Sun It happens to
be five stars. I love these girls. Practical, relevant, and
(39:31):
a little weird. This podcast is not only full of
practical tips and tricks to save money, but full of
fun and weirdness too. Listening to Jen and Jill is
like sitting in your back patio on a perfect summer afternoon,
drinking a margarita with your best girls and talking money.
They're so purely themselves and it makes them so relatable.
The topics are almost always relevant to me as a
(39:52):
woman in her early thirties with no kids, but there's
something for everyone. The show is really a breath of
fresh air amid all the stuff or bro dude personal
finance podcasts that are out there. Jen and Jill are
girls girls, and I love it.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Oh my yeah, we are not with you drinking marks.
I'm feeling that I wish that's where we were right now,
summer afternoon, drinking a mark, talking money, being relatable about.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
This is the perfect maya thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
It is funny. Eric said, I think your listeners know
you know you better than you think that they do,
because I'm like, you know, the podcast is just part
of me. It's like, no, you really are just yourself.
I think they they know you and get you and
your style just who you are a whole lot more
(40:45):
than well.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I got an email literally the other day from a
listener who sent me a picture of her water bottle
and she's like, I thought about your new shirt that
you just got that says support local libraries. And so
she got a sticker from her local library. I think
it said like like I love the Wisconsin Library or
Wisconsin Library loves me or something.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
It was right under our fruiting frodare.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yeah, and I was like, you know me, I'm a
one issue voter and that's my issue.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
It's libraries. Wow.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
Well, thank you so much, Maya. We feel like you
get us, and we're glad that you feel as though
we get you. And we love that review. And if
you all are listening and you haven't left us a
review yet, and you do think that you know us
more than we realize you know us, please leave us
a review telling us that we'd love to hear how
(41:39):
many of you are out there just just getting us.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Just leave a review with something.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Really like oddly specific about one of us that you
think is oddly specific and really really weird.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
Thanks everyone, See you next time.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Google Friends is produced by Eric.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Sirianni speaking of people understanding us. So we just had
an awful hurricane here. By the time this comes out,
(42:22):
we will be weeks post Hurricane Helene. But Jenna and
I are both in the Tampa Bay area and it's
been really, really, really rough. Thankfully, we are okay and
as far as the people that were connected with our communities,
our neighborhoods devastated but moving through it. And I was
(42:44):
out in the immediate wake of this at home depot
getting supplies and helping people clean out their flooded homes,
and I walk out and they were offering free hot dogs.
This guy just yelled out, you want a free hot dog?
And I've never heard someone yell that to me before.
My initial reaction was like, oh, I don't I don't
(43:06):
know if I want to if I want to buy
a hot dog, and then the free settled in. I'm like, yes,
immediate tes automatic, yes, free hot dogs. Then I'm like,
oh man, the Frugal Friends community would love to know this.
And also we had a lot of people checking in
like how are you doing, So I'm like, this is
a great way to update everybody that we are okay
(43:28):
and good things are still happening in the midst of tragedy.
So anyways, I posted about that on our stories and
and we had somebody respond like, oh my gosh, I
knew you loved hot dogs so much. I can't believe
you're holding two in one hand. I don't know why
that impressed them, very easy to hold two hot dogs
in one hand.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Your hands are so small, Jill, I can't believe you're
holding two.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
One for me, one for my husband. I wasn't getting
too greedy with it, but yeah, we had people certainly
commenting on the hot dog bit, like yeah, of course,
of course, because you love hot dogs, like you guys
get me.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, I don't, So I don't usually like when I
tell people I live where I live, I usually say
Saint Pete because it's more like easily recognizable, but I
actually live in Gulfport, Florida. And Gulfport got a lot
of national media coverage around Helene because a lot of
(44:29):
it was uncharacteristically devastated, Like there are some areas that
flood frequently and knew they were going to get flooding,
and Golfport is on the water but does not typically flood. Yeah,
and so it has been really interesting to be so close.
(44:51):
Last year, when Ian came, we were pretty far removed
from all that devastation, and like today I am a
four minute drive from where Gulfport basically ends now, Like, yeah,
those those roads in those houses were just like decimated.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
It is wild because I've seen, you know, you see
stories throughout life of various communities getting hit with a
natural disaster and seeing what devastation and need and rebuild
efforts happen and how long it takes. But to actually
be now living in the community where that's happening and
(45:34):
seeing it firsthand, it's it's a whole other animal.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
But yeah, people are stuff.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
But it's been yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Yeah, North Carolina, you know, and parts of Georgia.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
See and Georgia, so so so many people.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
The needs are so widespread and and I know with
something like this there can be this absurgence of oh
how can I help in the immediate aftermath, And I
think what we can forget about is that there are
needs that happen one, two, three months out from it.
So yeah, if you're listening, if you're still with us listening,
(46:14):
it's about a month out probably since the storm. Yeah,
efforts are still happening. I think my takeaway from this
is best a partner with organizations that are already doing stuff.
So whether that's the Red Cross or Smaritan's Purse or
local organizations, A lot of businesses and restaurants are doing
(46:36):
relief efforts partnering with other people. So yeah, good thing
to keep in mind.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Shout out to Gulfport, Mississippi who specifically raising supplies and
money for Gulfport, Florida. Calling them they're like a little
sister or something.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
I don't know. It was really cute to see. Yeah,
who very cool.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
So that's yeah, there are some good organizations that are
doing some good work here, and help them, help us
help our communities because we love these communities, We love
these neighborhoods, our beaches. We want to see them come
(47:22):
back and their employees back, residents back, and so please
if you are able to, yeah, we'd love to see
our community rise up.
Speaker 3 (47:40):
Fee yah
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