Loving Hard vs. Loving Properly Ft. Teedra Moses

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
She couldn't.

Speaker 3 (00:04):
She cleaned and cared for her children and the man
of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.
She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was
a good woman who always made good choices. That shit,
we're good Mom's bad choices too, single mom who said
fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices and sound
out they were so bad.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Sit back and enjoy the ride.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
I can do it. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
I'm Erica and I'm Mela.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Happy Humpday, bitches, Happy motherfucking hump Day. We are back
with another wonderful episode.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
And guess what, hoes, it's our favorite motherfucking holiday.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Right after Halloween.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
True, it's for twenty bitch, it's for a twenty week.
It's my favorite. It's my favorite. This my actually now Halloween.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
I'm gonna take her on st start to lying, yeah,
because I kind of now. But what we can do,
what we should do is start dressing up on for
twenty just to combine the holidays, because who said that
you can't so I think maybe tonight I'm gonna put
on an outfit.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Are you to roll yourself in green?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Or maybe I don't know, Okay, I don't know, like
Eve put flowers? Yeah, yeah, the flower Gottess noting like that.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
If you are listening to this episode or watching this
episode and you have some cannabis in your presence, I
want to encourage you right now to just pause, go
get your weed. Come back, though, don't get high and forget.
Come back.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Be careful. He actually keep us on in the background,
so you don't forget, don't pause it. Just go get
the weed, Go get the pipe, Go get the pipers,
go get the blind, whatever you roll with, just go
get it. And if you don't smell, go get a
glass of wine or something. It's time to relax and
to listen.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yes, because we have a special guest today, and I'm
very very very very excited about this one, y'all. We
have none other than a lioness herself, the overall bad
bitch herself, the Grammy nominated songwriter, two time song of
the Year being my award winning artist, Miss t dram Moses.

(02:14):
Baby welcome.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
That's by having me, you know, I love I love, love,
love this show.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
Oh my god, I'm so grateful. I'm so happy that
you know who we are. I'm like, you know, you
know who.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
We are a little us.

Speaker 4 (02:27):
Of course, it's not a little low us. You've been
doing this for eight years. That's not a little ship.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Thank you. Thank you. I'm always like I help, I
help people respond, So I was so happy when you
responded and that you were available to come join us.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
I responded very excitedly, thank you.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
And we have a mutual friend so I always I
always like having friends of friends on the show because
I always friends like if you're friends with him, then
you're friends with us.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
To Bone, you know, well, because I was okay, okay, well,
I was okay. It's so funny because when we messaged
you and you responded, literally to Bone sent me a
reel of you walking down the street smoking, and he
was like, you got to have my s on the show.
And I was like, that is so crazy because she
just said yes to us today.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
And you know what a funny story about Tabona is
is when we did our first one of our first
like out of the state like shows, I was, I
know a DJ in Atlanta used to live in Atlanta
and he's my friend. And I was like Tabone and
I showed her picture. She's like, I met Toabone at
a bar years ago in Atlanta.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Everybody knows shout out to d Bone.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
Good people know good people.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah, so I was like, wow, look at the synchronicity.
It's just literally in the same day, connecting us. And
then yes, of course I love Duran Bernard. Shoutout to
Duran and all of his success. He's like Rammy winning artists.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
And let's be clear, this did not happen over night.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Oh, very very hard for that.

Speaker 5 (03:43):
And I think sometimes when people see someone and they
see the shiny part, they don't remember, they don't know
or think of all the things that came before that.
And I like to make sure people know that Duran
worked very, very hard and he's nowhere near where he's going,
so there's even more work to do.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
But I just love to see where he is.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, it's beautiful. I love him.

Speaker 5 (04:01):
And he's still goes sing background with Miss eric abodause.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
To do it because it's Erica about you exactly.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
So Miss Tidra, Yes, ma'am, I have lots of questions
for you.

Speaker 4 (04:16):
Let's go.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Before you start the questions, I'm gonna start rolling a
true rap just so we have just so eventually we'll
have a backwood to smoke during this interview. I just
got found the aromatic true rap, so it's not just
a regular te rap, It's an aromatic ture rep and
I'm really excited about it. So just just letting you
guys know, I'll be rolling it, roll it up like
that it is for twenty we might why would we

(04:38):
be not smoking? So I'm going to get this going immediately.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
So you know, we've done our research and researched a
lot of different things. I've learned so much about your
history that I didn't really even know that you were
like a fashion you were a stylist before your career
in music, and that you've had You've lived a lot
of lives. And I also found out that you were
mama of too twins, not to twins, that's Pacific mama.
So I'm curious what was so you were a young

(05:04):
mom too, right? How old were you when you had
your nineteen?

Speaker 5 (05:07):
When I got pregnant right after I turn twenty, I
had them that I'm a December baby, right in January
fourth like right after the year started, I had a set.

Speaker 4 (05:16):
Of twins in your family, not in my family.

Speaker 5 (05:20):
Their dad has two sets of twins after I had them.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
Then their dad's aunt had a set of twins.

Speaker 5 (05:27):
But you know, they say that identical twins are are
can be the from the father or the mother's jeans.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
They say that fraternal twins have to be from the mom.

Speaker 5 (05:41):
I also learned recently that some of the twins that
people think are fraternal because they're in different sects can
actually be identical. Because my sons look exactly the same
to most people, not to me. But when I see
fraternal twins, they look totally different. You know, for sure,
they look like siblings, and sometimes they don't even look
like siblings. So I don't know, my might be they

(06:01):
might be identical, which would take away from me claiming
all these years that it was my superpowers twins.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
You know.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Wait, so identical means they're in the same sack. For
turnalmans are not in the same sack.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah, But as of what I've learned recently, that's not it.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
That's not true.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
Please God don't give me jo I mean I'm talking
about that's a very great experience at nineteen. But no,
you're having twins, entering into motherhood as a mother of two?
What was that like?

Speaker 5 (06:31):
So I moved to Los Angeles from New Orleans in
when I was fourteen. Okay, when I was ten or eleven,
girls are pregnant at twelve, you know what I mean. Thirteen,
that wasn't uncommon. So when I got pregnant at nineteen,
it was like, okay, I'm having.

Speaker 4 (06:46):
A a child, you know.

Speaker 5 (06:49):
And I remember coming home and my aunt makes she
rest in peace, my aunt Ramona, she said.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
I was crying, crying, and she said, girl, you ain't
gotta have no kids. You have my kids. You can,
but you've grown either way if you want it, but
you don't have to have no kids. And I was
just thinking, no, I'm just gonna have the kid. I
was crying.

Speaker 5 (07:05):
I'm upset. I'm just gonna have the kid. And then
it turns out to be two. And I'm doing this
by myself because the dad and I were together, but
he didn't choose to like, really, it's the girl here
gonna be mad because I said.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
That, But it is.

Speaker 4 (07:16):
It's the truth. It's the truth.

Speaker 5 (07:18):
And so I'm doing this mostly by myself. And I
have my family whatever, but.

Speaker 4 (07:21):
It was hard. But it's kind of like, I don't want.

Speaker 5 (07:24):
To say this and sound fucked up, but I think
it's a young persons sport.

Speaker 4 (07:28):
I think children. I think it's a young person's sport.
I'm gonna tell you why. You don't fucking think. You
just do.

Speaker 5 (07:37):
It's all instinct. You're not overthinking. Grown people with kids
irk the fuck out of me.

Speaker 4 (07:43):
They think too fucking much. Yes, she doesn't like this.

Speaker 5 (07:47):
The bitch don't know her name, but she don't like this,
and she don't like that. You know, when you're a
young parent, it's and not all young parents.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
Do it successfully. I just really they were my friends.

Speaker 5 (07:59):
I was to just talk to them, like, you know,
and be real because I'm not thinking about being superwoman.
I'm just like and I would literally tell them like,
you're a kid, but I'm a little key kind of
a kid too, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
So we've about to work together, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (08:11):
So it was like it was like not as shocking
to me because I'd seen people have babies and I
thought it was gonna be easier, but then it wasn't
as easy.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
But it wasn't as hard either.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Right right, right, yeah? I think. I mean I've always said,
and don't take offense to this, that twins is the
devil's work. I would on my worst enemy, but I guess.
But when you don't know and you don't know anything different, but.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
A second pregnancy is the devil's working because now you
got three. So I never wanted to have children again
because I figured, like, what if I end up with four?

Speaker 4 (08:44):
Nobody want all of that bust it out?

Speaker 5 (08:48):
Like it's kind of like really kind of cool because
they come, they're there, they have a friend, you know.
And I used to always tell me like, oh mom,
can't we get blah blah, I don't have enough money
for that.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
I want, I want.

Speaker 5 (08:59):
Nobody asked you to bring up friend. Nobody asked you
came with a friend, you know.

Speaker 4 (09:04):
But it was fun.

Speaker 5 (09:04):
It was very very fun watching them, their interactions as kids,
even now their interactions.

Speaker 4 (09:09):
It's really cool.

Speaker 5 (09:10):
Two people that came in the world and have been
rolling together the entire time is kind of unique.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
You know, you get like a built in best friend.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
Exactly, and I don't give you an option not to
be friends.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
We speaking of friends, that's so funny you said that
because yesterday my daughter had to sleep over with her
friend and we went out to eat and we were
like in a strip mall. So I was like, they
were like, we want Panda Express. I was like, I
don't want Panda Express. So we're gonna eat here. And
I was like, we're in a strip mall. It's like
a little bakery. I'm thinking it's gonna be cheap. Girl.
We walked in there, everything on the menu was over

(09:39):
twenty five dollars, even the oatmeal. I was like, we're
in north Ridge. Where the fuck am I? So IRI's like,
I'll just take the crape and I'm like, okay, that's
my girl. Yeah, you get the crape. This little friend
of hers, She's like.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Is this your bad choice of the week?

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Maybe this is my bad choice of the week. Okay,
my bad choice of the week is let it a
little bit little punk, little baby pup.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Mem not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
So Liz.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
Okay, because she was like, I don't really want to create,
but I would like the salmon with rosemary. And I
was like how much? And then I looked at it
and it was thirty eight dollars that's who.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
Came to mind. It's a forty dollar plate? Mom?

Speaker 3 (10:26):
Why And I was like, are you sure you really
want it?

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Because they don't want to tell the kid that's not yours, No,
you can't eat that.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
I was like, I'm an embarrass iery, just like like,
young mothers don't think about that.

Speaker 4 (10:37):
Young mothers do not consider that. You'd be like, okay,
but you can get that. We're all sharing it. Let's go.
You want water because that's what we're getting warm.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Wait, so she ordered it.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
She ordered it, and I was mad, but I was
just sitting there like and then I'm I'm the one
that's fucking starving, and now I'm thinking, like, now should
I order less? Took the budget, but she took the
whole budget. Bitch. I just took them to five below
to buy these stupid as was she toys or they
were fucking obsessed with anyway? Forget. She brings the food
out and I see the food and I'm like, damn,
that doesn't good. This little girl ate the whole goddamn filet.

(11:10):
And I was like, all right, only she ate it,
because that's what I was going to be mad at
is she didn't eat it. I would have ate it,
and then I got my food. My food was nasty.
So I'm already mad now because she got the good ship.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
I don't. I'm not thought to order right. I was like, Okay,
yes you can have the salmon, but yeah, that's my
that's my bad choice of the week. But yes, I
needed to have a backbone. But I just I let
it fly on that on that moment.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
You don't want to be the cheap mom.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
I did it, and I was like, I'm not gonna
be and her mom and her mom never like her
mom be paying for it, like whenever I goes over there,
you know, she takes care of my daughter.

Speaker 4 (11:44):
So I was like, that's nice.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
So I was like, fuck, we can get.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
How How was your How was your birth with twins?

Speaker 4 (11:52):
I had a cesarean I.

Speaker 5 (11:55):
They came when I was thirty two weeks and I
had this little Filipino man that was my.

Speaker 4 (12:05):
Doctor. And I say that because he was short.

Speaker 5 (12:07):
And I'm trying to give you a picture of when
I walked in there, what was going on. I had
been walking up and down the hallway. It's myself, my
sister who's older me, and my sister that's younger me.
None of them had kids before, so they don't know
what's going on. My mother's at work and I'm walking.
I'm like, I just got gas. I think if I
just keep walking, then you know, the gas will come
out or whatever. And my older sister called her friend

(12:30):
who had a son or something, and she was like,
just tell her go to the hospital. And I was like,
I don't like hospitals. I was like, even with a baby,
I wanted really go to the hospital. I was like, no,
I'll just keep walking. She was like, come on, just
let's go. So I go and they, you know, get
me out, checked in and everything. And I'm in the room.
I'm not feeling anything, just gassy. I just feel gassy,

(12:51):
you know, but I'm not feeling anything. And the little
man comes in there because he was it's a little
Filipino man, and I'm young, so I'm probably haven't been
taking care of myself like I'm supposed to whatever, you know,
And he goes, what.

Speaker 4 (13:05):
Is going on? You were supposed to come and see me.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
Now I know.

Speaker 4 (13:08):
I wasn't supposed supposed to go see this man.

Speaker 5 (13:10):
I don't even know what he's talking about, you know,
And she goes supposed to come and see.

Speaker 4 (13:14):
Me, and now you're here at this point, blah blah blah.

Speaker 5 (13:16):
First of all, sir, calm down, calm down, We're gonna
be okay.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
All right.

Speaker 4 (13:22):
Every thirty minutes, I'm having a contraction.

Speaker 5 (13:23):
I don't feel this. I don't feel any kind of
contraction or anything. And eventually he comes in and he says,
we're just gonna have to take the babies.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
Now.

Speaker 5 (13:33):
It was fine, it's cool, But in retrospect, I don't
think they had to do that. I think I was
young and they wanted the money, you know what I mean.
But it was fine, and I had a cesarean and
I had the kids. They were premature, two pounds for fourteen ounces,
two pounds fifteen ounces. I stayed in the hospital for
I sit there for a couple of days. They stayed
there for six weeks, you know, and then I kind
of I went every day though, And one day one

(13:53):
of the nurses told me, baby go home, and I
was like, well, my babies are here, you know, And she.

Speaker 4 (13:58):
Was like, they're gonna come to you.

Speaker 5 (14:00):
Why you can't get some rest because then when they
come home, you know, but you know, you got kids,
and you feel like this is just supposed to do.

Speaker 4 (14:05):
Then they came home and.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Then rest for another twenty years.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
There was no restsoever. But it was cool.

Speaker 5 (14:13):
It was cool, like it was just like in retrospect,
it was terrifying in the beginning, but in retrospect, I'm
a true believer that God does everything align in alignment
with what is gonna be good for you, and I
wouldn't I wouldn't have it any other way. I was
just telling you, like, you know, I think that it's
it's a young person's sport. I'm so glad I did
it young because I watch people care too much. I cared,

(14:34):
but it was like, Okay, come on, like, wash your clothes.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
What you think this is? Wash those dishes? What you
think this is.

Speaker 5 (14:40):
I'm not gonna be superwoman. Even if I got a husband,
I'm not gonna be super wife. You're just gonna have
to take my very intense moments of being great really great.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
I am great, I'm great.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
But all the other times I'm gonna be regular and
you're gonna.

Speaker 4 (14:54):
Have to Yeah, and it's time. I'm never regular now.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
Never regular, but I will be.

Speaker 4 (14:58):
Great at sometimes and sometimes I'll just be too, and
that in itself is so magnificent. Just deal with that,
you know what I mean, Take that and behad.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
I resonate with that because I think now that I'm
going to have another kid, I'm like, damn, I know too.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
You're pregnant.

Speaker 4 (15:13):
No, oh, okay, I'm say, girl, what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (15:18):
Like where?

Speaker 2 (15:19):
No, I'm planning to have another I just got married,
so I'm planning to have another kid, which is wild
because my kid is eleven. But I'm like, God, I
like when I when I was fucking twenty six, I
didn't know shit. I was just like la la la la,
la la la. I didn't know the fucking death rate
of like pregnant black women in the hospital. I was
just in there. I knew didn't want to go to
the hospital. I went anyway, La la la la la.

(15:39):
Now I'm like, I'm trying to block all the not
negative thoughts, but the truthful thoughts that I had the
knowledge that I know. But I do agree, and I'm scared.
I'm like, do I have energy for that shit? I
barely have energy for myself.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
But yeah, is bliss.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Ignorance is bliss. I was gonna say that ignorance is
bliss and that, Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
What would you say, was is one of the bigger
less since that your sons have taught you in motherhood.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
The biggest lesson, that's a good question.

Speaker 5 (16:06):
Biggest lessons my sons have taught me in motherhood patience
number one. And they taught me that I can do
any fucking thing. My sons gave me all the courage
in the world. I was so young and pursuing like
music and this shit is not girl, Go get a
job at the post office so you can have some
benefits and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 (16:26):
I couldn't. It just wasn't in my spirit.

Speaker 5 (16:28):
And there were times that I didn't have what I
needed for them and it would make me feel really
really bad. But they just never made me feel bad.
They always were such a strong arm, I guess, like
they were my faith. We prayed together, we you know,
like they were my friends. They were my faith. They

(16:48):
were these little humans that I was molding to be
my best friends, I guess, And they taught me that
I could do anything. So really that happened when they
got grown. By the time they left at nineteen and
moved to la and then I started seeing them handle
themselves and just be good people. Anyone that ever met
them would come to me say, teacher, I met your sons.
They're so mannerable, they're so cool.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
You know.

Speaker 5 (17:10):
That made me feel feel really good. So I think
my biggest thing that I learned is like you are
of the top grade of baddest bitches on the planet
because you did that.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know where did you raise them?

Speaker 5 (17:22):
I raised them in Altadena, California, and then we moved
to when they were fourteen, we moved to Miami.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
Okay, yeah, you live here now.

Speaker 4 (17:29):
I live in Miami. Okay, I'm here all the time.
I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Be, but I am speaking of courage.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
You know.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
We did a little research and I didn't realize that
you had a successful career as a wardrobe stylist. As
a stylist prior to your singing career.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
It was more so of an assistant.

Speaker 5 (17:48):
My best friend is killer Stotted by the name of
Naja Mackenzie, and I assisted her before I started doing music.
And she would say, like she would tell everybody, teacher
can sing, teacher can sing. I just feel like if
I'm if I'm a waitress, I'm a waitress. I'm not
going to try to kill you with And I think
it's cool that people do that, but I'm not kind
of trying to sing to you while I do the menu,

(18:09):
you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (18:10):
I'm not that kind of person.

Speaker 5 (18:11):
And if I'm going to be assistant to my best
friend as a stylist, I'm going to do that, That's
what I'm gonna do. And we did really, really great work,
and she still works with me now, she's my stylist now.
But I more so was just feeding my kids. It
wasn't a passion. And at some point I had to
think about what is my passion? Because I'm seeing my
friend do very very well and I'm assisting here with
that and I love doing that, but at some point

(18:33):
I had to figure out what was my thing.

Speaker 4 (18:34):
But fashion is really not my thing like that, to
be honest.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
But I think it's cool to know that you've rebranded,
you've reimagined yourself multiple times, and I think a lot
of times women, especially moms, have a hard time doing that.
Like you said, let me go get the job that
has the benefits, and you know, do what you gotta
do because that's what the world tells you to do.
And so like seldomly do people push past that because
we have mouths to feed and go do what they're

(18:57):
actually passionate about. So I commend you for doing that,
and like what you gave the world because you did
that instead of stopping there and pausing there and saying
this is good enough, or you know, I'm assisting my
best friend and you know it's putting food on the table.
But like, what advice would you give for women or
moms that are listening that maybe in a place that's good,
but there's something that may be resonating in their spirit

(19:18):
that's further that they want to they want to do
something different.

Speaker 5 (19:21):
I would ask them, what choices would you want your
child to make in this situation?

Speaker 4 (19:25):
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (19:26):
Because whatever you would want them to do for themselves,
you should do that because that's gonna make them know
it's okay for them to do it.

Speaker 4 (19:32):
Do you understand what I'm saying? If you halt.

Speaker 5 (19:34):
When they get to that scary place, they're probably gonna
halt too. But if you show courage, then they'll probably
show courage too.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
I always saw them in that, especially women her are
like in fucked up relationships or relationships that are mediocre
as hell. I'd be like, would you let your daughter
date him? And then bitches rethink it real quick. I
mean not not all bitches move, but yeah.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
It doesn't think about it.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
It does make it be like, damn, you're.

Speaker 5 (19:55):
Watching everything, right, they're watching everything, so if you really
That's one of my things that break my heart is
watching women mothers with daughters in bad relationship too, because
I was there as a kid. I saw that and
it formed a lot of my bad choices as an
adult trying to be in love, you know, so I
think you gotta be you gotta kind of like consider

(20:16):
that and if you're gonna be out here crazy and
foolish and just go do that away from the kids,
don't let them.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
See you saw your mom being bad relationships.

Speaker 4 (20:24):
Yeah, my father was crazy. You used to abuse my mom. Yeah,
And it just was like, you know, that first made
me really tough, like, niggain't gonna fucking hit me. I'll
kill that, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
That's how it was, you know.

Speaker 5 (20:35):
But then it was like, Okay, I'm not as tough
as I think I'm not. I love this boy, I
love him so much, I'll do anything and I saw
my mother love through anything.

Speaker 4 (20:45):
My mother loved my father when she died.

Speaker 5 (20:47):
They weren't even together for like years, So it kind
of formed you into thinking, like, if I just keep loving.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
It'll get better, because that's what I saw her do.

Speaker 5 (20:56):
Which it never got better, but it's still just embedded
in me like it was. If I just keep loving
this person, this person eventually have to understand I love
them and love back or love properly. I don't think
people don't love back, they just don't love properly.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Did that work? And what made you?

Speaker 4 (21:12):
Never?

Speaker 2 (21:14):
Ever? Has that ever worked?

Speaker 4 (21:15):
Never has that ever work? I think that.

Speaker 5 (21:18):
My mother taught me how to love. She didn't teach
me how to love myself. Life taught me how to
love myself, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (21:24):
I think I think a lot of mothers, a lot
of our mothers don't haven't experience loving themselves, and so
sometimes you can't teach what you don't know. And I
think we are hopefully in an error where that is
more prominent and we're learning to do that and like
changing the cycle. What caused you to start loving yourself?

Speaker 4 (21:45):
I think that I always did love myself. I'm a sattariust.

Speaker 5 (21:49):
That kind of comes with territory. So I always did
love myself. But once again, it's the properly part.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
You know.

Speaker 4 (21:57):
What is it? About seven or eight, maybe ten years.

Speaker 5 (22:00):
Ago, I was in a relationship with this guy and
I went through some crazy shit and he didn't really.

Speaker 4 (22:07):
He didn't really.

Speaker 5 (22:08):
Stand up like he was supposed to, you know. And
here I'll just keep a g I'll say it. I
got pregnant at what forty or something like that, and
my sons are twenty, My sons are twenty. I'm pregnant
at forty for a man that is kind of similar
to same sun Shigne as the one that I had

(22:30):
kids with twenty years ago.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
You know that, I'm curious.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
I love y'all, y'all my good friend. I love all
of you, particular for the men libres libras.

Speaker 5 (22:44):
And they're not bad people. They just make bad choices sometimes.
But you know, I'm here, I'm pregnant again. And he
handled it like a little kid, you know, and I
was already like, what the fucking I? Once again, I
didn't get an abortion first time. I wasn't gonna do
it the second time, but god, I ended up having
a miscarriage at rehearsal in the UK, like, you know,

(23:07):
just everything just and I.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
Was really grateful.

Speaker 5 (23:11):
I mean God's speak, that's horrible because I know people
want to have babies, but I was very grateful because
I didn't want to have that kid. But the way
I felt from the time that I found out to
the time.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
That it went away.

Speaker 5 (23:20):
I had to call my twenty year old sons and
tell them that I was pregnant.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Even know how they take that.

Speaker 5 (23:26):
Oh, they were like, oh, you're gonna be a great mom.
Great when you were a kid. Look what you did
with us, She's gonna do great. Right, They were like,
you're gonna be fine, don't worry about and.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
We're gonna help you.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
You're gonna be It makes me want to cry.

Speaker 5 (23:36):
I'm about to cry too, because then when it I
told him I had I had a miscarriage, my son
Todge was like, that's so good for you because you
spent all your life raising up and you know you
deserve to go out and do your thing, you know.
But yeah, and that really it more than he affected me.
How I didn't care for myself to have myself in

(23:59):
that situation, not get ain't pregnant, that's not the part.

Speaker 4 (24:01):
But for this person, do you understand what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 (24:04):
This person? That you didn't feel safe with this person?
So how you're gonna bring a child into the world?
Why would you put yourself in this position? It made
me feel so low about myself that I had to
really focus on the great things about me and learn
more about why I was there and pull myself.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
Out of that. And then I started to really love
myself properly, like.

Speaker 5 (24:22):
I'm unfuckuiable now because I don't give a fuck. You
cannot tell me that I'm not the baddest of the
baddest bitches.

Speaker 4 (24:31):
And I'm not talking about the looks or anything like that.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
I'm loved.

Speaker 5 (24:35):
God loves me, My family loves me, My children love me.
People I don't fucking know love me.

Speaker 4 (24:40):
Do you understand what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 (24:41):
So love is a thing for me, and I'm okay
with that now, And I think it's rooted in the
fact that I love myself enough to not be loved
by others.

Speaker 4 (24:49):
If you don't want to, it's okay. I got enough.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
That is That is such a statement because I think
a lot of a lot of times the epiphany comes
when you are for women, because I think women die
on this hill of relationships. Yeah, I see so many smart,
talented women like poor into men that are not worthy,
and it fucks up their whole trajectory. Like I've seen
my mom do that. I've seen just so many women

(25:13):
just put themselves second to love or to a relationship.
And I think sometimes that turning point is sometimes when
you're like, how the fuck do I love myself if
I'm fucking with you? You know exactly. There's always a pivotal moment,
hopefully when you're in a fucked up relationship and you
have to be real with yourself, because I think it's
also not cool to be like, I'm not loving myself properly.
It's not popular. It's not like I'm a bad bitch,

(25:33):
you know, Dad, I love myself. But when you realize
like that is a fucking lie, because if I'm fucking
with you, I'm laying with you on money, you come
near me, come in me, then how the fuck is
that possible? So I think that's always like if you
can have the introspect to ask yourself, is the relationship
I'm in validate the way that I love myself. Then
you can have clarity around if you're loving yourself properly.

(25:55):
But what a beautiful blessing that you created two men
that supported you.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
That are married.

Speaker 5 (26:01):
They're both married and their wives tell me all the
time he did such a good job, my biggest fucking
you know what I'm saying, because I wasn't trying to
contribute to the world that type of man that would
make a woman feel like how I've been made to feel.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
And let's be clear. I want to make it clear because.

Speaker 5 (26:18):
I don't want to make anybody think I'm a down
trodden bitch because I'm not what I accept as not
being treated well might be good for somebody else.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
What do you call it? A down? What bitch?

Speaker 4 (26:27):
Down trodden?

Speaker 2 (26:28):
Down?

Speaker 5 (26:30):
Like just like you know, lowly and just let people
stump on them and ship.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
That's not That's not my thing.

Speaker 5 (26:36):
And so when I say I've been you know that situation,
I wasn't. It just wasn't what I wanted it to be,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
But it's not.

Speaker 5 (26:42):
He didn't treat me bad bad back in that situation.
He didn't step up like I thought he should. But
I think a lot of times women that.

Speaker 4 (26:50):
That grow up with mothers that have bad relationships.

Speaker 5 (26:54):
Your criteria can give come a little bit loyal Lord,
Because with my children's father, if we got to argument
and he called me a bitch, I didn't think twice
about it because my father beat my mom. So that's better, right,
just be called the bitch, you know, so I would
like to point that out. I'm not down trodden, but
I did get to a place that I needed to be.

Speaker 4 (27:12):
I thank God for that.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Man.

Speaker 4 (27:13):
We're friends now, we're super cool. He just brought me
some dining room chairs.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
That's lovely.

Speaker 4 (27:19):
We're friends now.

Speaker 3 (27:19):
We cool.

Speaker 4 (27:20):
We just became friends like two days.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Ago, but we cool.

Speaker 5 (27:26):
We got past it and he said his piece about
you know, I'm big on that.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
Sorry's a big deal to me.

Speaker 5 (27:31):
He sent his piece on how we got there and
how he felt, and we worked it out and we're
cool now.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
And back to my sons though, Yeah, they are with
wives that love.

Speaker 5 (27:41):
Them very much, and I'm very proud of them, and
I feel very blessed that there. If I never have
what I deem to be this great love, if they
get it, I'm good with that.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
I really am, you know.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
I think it's also really important that you speak the truth.
And like I think sometimes when people make, you know,
have conversations about shit like this, and they think it's, oh,
you're down trout and bitch, I'm rathi. I have to
use that now. Yes, a lot of strong bitches, successful
smart strong bitches being down trouten relationships they do one
thing does not mean the other, like I think a
lot of times, and then women who are in powerful positions,

(28:16):
who consider themselves smart or confident, are embarrassed or shamed
about talking publicly about being in fucked up relationships because
they're like, they don't want to be seen in a
certain way. So I think it's powerful and important that
you say these things because even the smartest, confidentness, baddest
bitch can be in a fucked up relationship because love
can have you fucked up. So I think it's important that,
you know, we remove the shame out of making bad

(28:38):
relationship decisions, because we've all done it, you know.

Speaker 4 (28:40):
Because we all just want love. We do. But then
when we start to when it clicked to.

Speaker 5 (28:47):
Me, like I've been all this time looking for something
that's right here, I've been everywhere looking for this shit
that's right here and I'm full of it. And so
I start to first tap into my son's love me
so much. Then I start to tap into my sisters
and my brother loved me so much, my best friend
loves me so much.

Speaker 4 (29:03):
And then it got back around to like you love you.

Speaker 5 (29:05):
But I kind of put aside being a young mom,
single mom. The entire time, I didn't really date much
because I had to take care of my kids and
get some money.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
And if you weren't coming over here with more than
some good dick, I'm good. I could see you like
every three months then be straight. You know what I'm saying.
If that you know. So, I didn't really date.

Speaker 5 (29:24):
So when I got to this point where I'm looking
at me now loving myself, I'm like, wow, I was searching.
I wanted, I was longing, not even searching, longing for
this love that was right here the entire time. Now,
the other side of loving yourself is you might gotta
be alone for a low while. You might because you
got criteria. That's like off, it's out of there. Now

(29:47):
you love yourself now, like, I'm not looking for crumbs
at all, absolutely not.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
I want the whole big. I want the big whammy.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, I always say desperation. Desperation attract spottom feeders.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
Yes, I'm curious that what is like as you speak
about love? And also I'm thinking of your song that
I love so much, and I'm thinking about how that
song that you have, you know that we all know,
could be turned into like yourself right. But I'm curious,
now what does love look like for you? Like what
is your definition of not self love, but like romantic love,

(30:22):
romantic love life?

Speaker 5 (30:24):
You know, first thing first, I want to love a
man that loves himself so he doesn't rely on my
love in a needy way. Some people want to be needed,
you know. I just want you to want me enough.

Speaker 4 (30:42):
That's it.

Speaker 5 (30:42):
Like I don't I don't like obligations, you know what
I mean. So romantic life for me is just fun.
I'm fifty fucking years old. I'm not looking to marry
you or have children. Maybe I could use a pop
off for my grandkids when they come, you know what
I mean, something like that. But it's a good time
for me. It's like we are choosing this. We are
not young people that feel like we need we need this.

(31:05):
This is a part of what you need in life. No,
we are choosing this. We've made it to this point, successful,
comfortable with ourselves. Now let's just have a good time.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
You know what.

Speaker 5 (31:14):
The perfect example, and I wish I wrote this song.
The perfect example of what I want my romantic life
to look like now is Olivia Dean's.

Speaker 4 (31:24):
Nice to each other. That's it.

Speaker 5 (31:26):
We can be nice to each other, good for each other,
wrong for each other. We could just be here being
good together. We don't have to like, you know, you
can't fuck with nobody else. Got to just be me.
And that's my ego. My ego couldn't handle.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
It's no sharing.

Speaker 4 (31:41):
No, it's no sharing. I'm not into that.

Speaker 5 (31:43):
But we can be good like if you have to
be there, you know, we can just communicate and stimulate
one another.

Speaker 4 (31:49):
It's just be good.

Speaker 5 (31:50):
I don't want stressed. My life is super good. So
if you come over here, let's have a good time.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
That's all.

Speaker 5 (31:55):
I just want a good time. Good sexist is imperative,
you know what I mean. Good commis station stimulate my mind.
I'll try to stimulate yours. When you need time away,
just tell me I need time away.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
I'll tell you. Never want to live with nobody.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
I was gonna ask you that next ever, No, you can't.

Speaker 5 (32:10):
Even live down the street for me. No, because I
want time alone. I've been alone a long time, right,
And people say, teacher, but when you fall in love,
But no, this is who I am. You're talking to
a grown woman. I know who I am. I need time.
I like to miss people. I live away from my family,
who I love more than I love anybody.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
I like to miss people.

Speaker 5 (32:29):
So at this point, I would love for you to
live like me and Miami, You in New York, you
know what I mean, California or somebody.

Speaker 4 (32:35):
Like I travel. I go anywhere.

Speaker 5 (32:36):
Flights take you wherever you want to go. He could
live in Indonesia. I'll just go stay Indonesia for a year.
And they're like, maybe I gotta go and I'll come
back and you can come stay with me.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
But I don't want to.

Speaker 5 (32:48):
I guess when I break it all down, for everything
I've said, I want us to want to be together.
I want us to choose it every single day. I
don't want to be your obligation. I don't want you
to be my obligation.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
Is there any physical that is a requirement for you?
Do you have a type I don't.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
It's horrible. I wish I could figure out how that works.
But I think the type is part. It's not physical.

Speaker 5 (33:10):
First of all, I'm a person that I don't like
big guys because that makes me think you don't take
care of yourself, and loving yourself is very important to me.
If you don't, like if you're a big guy and
you're like muscular, or you like work out and kind
of keep it together. Cool, But someone that just kind
of lets themself go, even if you're a small guy,
you just don't take care of yourself.

Speaker 4 (33:28):
That's that's not cool to me. That's that doesn't work
for me.

Speaker 5 (33:31):
But I don't deal in the physical as much because
I like a guy that looks tall and handsome and stuff,
you know, But if you open your mouth and you
sound ridiculous, that goes w w wam you know, And
I will date a guy is my height if he's
just if he stimulates me enough.

Speaker 4 (33:48):
I don't really have a type.

Speaker 5 (33:50):
I like nice eyes and teeth. I guess that's would
be the one thing, because I have to look at.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Your face teeth.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Would you date someone in the same industry as you?

Speaker 5 (33:57):
I mean, I don't have a problem with that, not
at all. I mean I think we get a bad rap. Fuck,
we all crazy. You might as well date each other
because we're fucking crazy.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
We shouldn't do that to other people. We really shouldn't.
We're nuts.

Speaker 3 (34:11):
Well, I would love to play a game with you
that we like to play on our show called Trigger.
But before we do, I think we should light this blunt.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
I put some energy to ours.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
We are already thirty three minutes in and we ain't
even I.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
I was trying to expare us from like getting too
high too soon. So we've established our intelligence. Now we'll
just smoke, because you know what happens if we spoke
too soon. So this is for the love that's long
distance but present and committed and fun and pleasurable, well
endowed and can put it down in the bedroom. This

(34:44):
is for the love of for just for health, and
for finances that may we never have to work very
hard to be taken care of in the highest luxury. Lord,
just put all of that into this wonderful flower that
you've created and blessed us with, And for all of
our listeners, I pray that for you too, and.

Speaker 4 (35:01):
Good conception of a beautiful baby that you're.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
Gonna have, Oh, thank you, healthy, beautiful, easeful home birth
and baby and a very patient, filled easy baby that
doesn't need a lot and doesn't cry too much and
knows his mother.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
Amen. So the game is called trigger, and it goes
a little something like this. I'm gonna say a word,
and then you're gonna say the first thing that comes
to mind. Alright, don't overthink it, I won't. Okay, would
you like to hit this first.

Speaker 5 (35:36):
We're gonna grow when you and when it gets to me,
we're gonna we're gonna keep it in proper rotation.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
Okay, all right, here we go. We are triggering mis teacher, Moses, y'all,
bad habits, the man. I've loved marriage, never religion.

Speaker 4 (35:58):
I don't do that.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
New Orleans home nas the best. Wait you wrote that
song about him? Right?

Speaker 4 (36:07):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (36:07):
I did? Okay, last time you had sex?

Speaker 4 (36:13):
Too long ago?

Speaker 3 (36:14):
What's long?

Speaker 2 (36:15):
Ago?

Speaker 4 (36:16):
Long long? I'm not gonna tell nobody my business like
that long?

Speaker 5 (36:21):
No, really really like nobody could do what I do,
like wait that long or wait that long?

Speaker 4 (36:27):
Because okay, So like very briefly, I'll tell.

Speaker 5 (36:30):
You I don't smoke bad weed. I only smoke premium weed. Right,
I don't eat bad food. You're never gonna see me
in the line of no damn McDonald's. I don't eat
like that, you know what I mean. I wear clothes
that feel good on my body, and you see what I'm saying.
I'd be around people that are the top notch people.
I'm not fucking somebody just to be fucking. We're gonna
do this and it's gonna be good and it's gonna
feel built good to every.

Speaker 4 (36:50):
Part of my being, or we're not doing this.

Speaker 5 (36:52):
And so if I don't come across that, I really
am not interested in having sex. I'm not one of
those people that get drunk enough to have sex. If
I don't want to fuck you sober, I do not
want to fuck you drunk.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
You would have to rake me. Oh Jesus, I'm serious.

Speaker 5 (37:03):
This is the truth. I'm just not that kind of person.
I do not want anything that's not.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
Of the quality that I want. I rather starve, and
I've been starving.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Baby luxury dick only I've been luxury dick. I've been
starving organic, organic, luxury, locally grown.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
Want to starve, I don't either. So let's make a
p S a. It's not my fault.

Speaker 5 (37:24):
But don't come into d MS if you got there's
a lot of men.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
There's a lot of men that don't.

Speaker 4 (37:31):
Don't pop for mediocre. I puts it on pop for nonchalance.
It just doesn't puss.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
It is not here for mediocre and anything.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
Okay, Well, favorite porn category probably, Uh, I don't know.
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
You watch I have, I have, but I'm trying to
think of I don't. I don't think i'm watch enough.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
To know a cate.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
I guess that's what it is.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
Whatever, let's get this thing off. It's only necessity. It's like,
that's not a something I.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Just do to just be doing.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
You know, white men they're nice, Would you date them? No? Okay,
so that's you do have a preference.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
Okay, all right, black men in my preference?

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Then would you date like a Latino or like mhm?

Speaker 2 (38:21):
Okay?

Speaker 5 (38:22):
Because there are black latin there's black perto Ricans, Black Panamanians. Yeah,
there's black Asians. I'll date anybody if you black, you
we can relate.

Speaker 4 (38:33):
That's all. It's nothing against anybody else. It's just I
need to relate. That's all. I feel safer when I
can relate, and I.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Feel like the black experience is specific.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
It is.

Speaker 4 (38:44):
It is because I can't be ambiguous.

Speaker 5 (38:47):
You know exactly who I am, so I get I
walk through the world as a black woman. So you
have to have some kind of relation to that.

Speaker 4 (38:55):
For me to really kill it.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
All right, girl, get it in one moment in hell
that backward as soon as it hits you got high.

Speaker 3 (39:05):
Wait, you see my trick, You see my circles.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
Ready every four to twenty you must show her trick.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
That is so good? Is this a tongue thing that
makes that happen?

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Put the hole in the middle.

Speaker 4 (39:19):
Oh, they just still got it?

Speaker 3 (39:21):
Okay, clearly anyway, here you go.

Speaker 4 (39:23):
It makes me think that you're good at a lot
of things.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
I am a strong tongue, red at my mouth.

Speaker 5 (39:32):
I have to be careful with this because you know
y'all have this. This thing has a bite on it.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
It does just ease into it because have this interview.
I hope you've got a lot to do.

Speaker 4 (39:44):
Girl. I smoked down.

Speaker 5 (39:46):
I smoke down like I smokes amounts of weed.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
Like daily do you wake up to smoke?

Speaker 4 (39:51):
I wake and bake every morning.

Speaker 5 (39:53):
I thank God and I and I thank him for
the week, just like we just did.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
And deal breaker.

Speaker 4 (40:02):
If you don't take care of your children.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Mm hmm. Cannabis indica all the time.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
All that slumped me out, Baby, I can move through it.

Speaker 4 (40:16):
I can function through the day being fucked up. I can't.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
I mean New Orleans people are I can't.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Well. You know what, though, My stepdaddy's weed that I'm
rationing right now is.

Speaker 4 (40:27):
An indicated that's so funy.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
The weed I got from this little zip blog is
from my dad too, But all the daddy doesn't daddy blends.
This is a daddy blend.

Speaker 3 (40:38):
Shout out to Rory. Uh he grew and Miles, he
grew this weed and it's an indicat Normally I'm not,
I like, I can do it. Yeah, but it's a
good like. I'm telling you his indicas are. They don't
make me slump. They make me relaxed. And then it's
not the longest high. But I like that. You need
to be beyond high. I'll just smoke again.

Speaker 4 (40:57):
I don't even know I'm high when I'm smoking to like,
Am I high? Am I high? I don't know, Teva.

Speaker 3 (41:03):
It's good for me to create sometimes, but it makes
me a little too like like two space. Yeah yeah,
hybrid is my is my perfect, my perfect happy place.

Speaker 4 (41:14):
I can see that.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
Mushrooms in small doses micro micro micro. You never gone
on a hero's journey.

Speaker 5 (41:24):
No, I don't want to go nowhere. I might not
come back from.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
You always come back.

Speaker 4 (41:30):
I don't come back.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
You don't come.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Actually don't go anywhere. You actually stay here, and you're
actually like the most here, your most connected self.

Speaker 4 (41:39):
I think I might be low key.

Speaker 5 (41:43):
Control freak a little bit with myself, not everything else.
Like I like being in control. I like I don't
like to be in anything where I can't just snap out.

Speaker 4 (41:51):
That's what I love about weed. I can. You can
blow this high real quick and I can just get
it right together. Let a cop pull up behind me.
You know what I mean. I never smoked. I'm just alle.
But mushrooms is different.

Speaker 5 (42:02):
You in that world, baby, Oh yeah, you gotta swim yours.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
Oh baby baby, we've swimmed our way out of some
places high.

Speaker 4 (42:13):
You guys have to do it with me.

Speaker 5 (42:15):
I'm happy you said that, because to do it in
a safe space.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
I literally was saying you should do mushrooms with us,
and you guys have heard my thoughts. I was like,
you needed mushrooms.

Speaker 3 (42:23):
With us, so we we have. I don't know if
you know or we saw that we do women's retreats.
I'm high. I'm like talking like this. We do women's retreats,
and at our retreats, we typically have plant medicine. Okay, mushrooms,
and we have a ceremonial circle. And it's so different
than like just taking mushrooms and fending for yourself.

Speaker 4 (42:40):
Okay, so you invite me to one.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
So come on, I'm to Costa Rica.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
Have you been to Costa Rica?

Speaker 4 (42:46):
I have never. Oh, yeah, I'm going to show up.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
Favorite sex position.

Speaker 4 (42:53):
Favorite sexual position would probably be.

Speaker 5 (42:59):
I'm torn between top and uh riding on top and
missionary because I really love a good.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
Face to face.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
I think riding is my favorite.

Speaker 4 (43:09):
Yeah, it's more powerful. You feel more powerful?

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yeah, I feel because I feel like I've I've mastered
the lazy ride too, because sometimes writing is also.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
A lot of work commitment.

Speaker 5 (43:18):
When I was younger, I liked writing because I'm from
New Orleans. What does that mean, pus?

Speaker 4 (43:23):
We grew up, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (43:27):
To the point that one time is wait, hold on
he didn't know what to do. Yeah, real, it's it's different.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
Wait, I have a question for the I know we're
in a trigger I'm high. Do you guys when you ride,
do you do you a company with a vibrator?

Speaker 4 (43:44):
Sometimes I haven't.

Speaker 3 (43:47):
I like, I like vibrators more when it's from behind,
that's kind of okay. Yeah, it's like full access and
there's like, yeah, riding the front.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
It's a little hard like I was just it was
not a long one like this one's shaped and he
was doing it. Yea.

Speaker 5 (44:04):
I don't like to be if I'm doing this part,
like use your fingers like.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
It's we need you involved.

Speaker 5 (44:12):
I'm not just doing this by myself when I'm on
top or bottom or whatever. All times clatorial clatorial stimulation
is important, so you have to use all your things.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
I'm not about to sit here and stimulate my own clitorist.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
Nigga, that's late.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
No no no, no, no, no no no. If he don't try,
and then what the fuck are we doing? But but
what also frusht frustrates me though, is when I do
give a man a vibrator, my man a vibrator, and
he's not getting it on the spot. And then I'm
just like, just stop, just give it to me, like
and now we're just because because it would be hard.
It's hard to know me. You know, it's not really hard,
but like, especially when you're getting fucked and trying it,

(44:48):
it's a lot. Just sometimes I do prefer to take
control with the vibrating situation. I know where they I
know where this needs to go. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Sorry, I got really pressing options.

Speaker 4 (45:01):
I've learned something.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
Uh, therapy.

Speaker 5 (45:05):
I'm glad people go to therapy, but people not you.
I've never been to therapy.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
No where'd you go?

Speaker 5 (45:12):
If I had to go with somebody else, I wouldn't
just go myself. And I'm not against it.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
It's just.

Speaker 5 (45:20):
I have so many people to talk to I do,
and I do it. I talk to my best friend,
I talk to my sisters and we like really talk.

Speaker 4 (45:28):
Well.

Speaker 5 (45:28):
I'm not hiding myself from them now. Do they have
professional advice?

Speaker 4 (45:32):
No?

Speaker 5 (45:33):
But if I ever felt like it was like something
blocking in me, I would go. But right now, I'm good,
That's all. I don't knock it at all, though. I
think people should go to therapy that feel the need.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
To have You ever been a therapy or somebody else.

Speaker 5 (45:46):
No, but I would like if my kids was like
my mother, let's go to therapy, because I feel like
blah blah blah, like Ohn, let's go.

Speaker 4 (45:52):
You know what I mean. I'm taking everything the person
says whatever. Or if I ever just was bored, like
see what the fuck this is all about?

Speaker 3 (45:59):
Side?

Speaker 4 (46:00):
You know everybody like you need a therapist. You need
a therapist, y'all know what. I was born in nineteen
seventy five. You guys, come on, give me a break.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
You know what I'm saying, And give me a ninety
seventy five y'all.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
I was.

Speaker 5 (46:11):
It's like, you know, we couldn't afford. Black people don't
even know nothing about that. But I think it's a
beautiful thing that we do. I love when especially men,
because they don't have what we have. They don't have
people to talk to. I can sit on a phone
and cry with my friend and get it out and
get to the root to it and everything, and I'm good.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Yeah, I know it's true.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
One of the things about me too as well.

Speaker 5 (46:34):
I'm always working to be a better person, not for
you niggas, for me. You know, I want to be
a better person. I want to love better. I want
to be better to my neighbor. I do believe that
that's very, very important. I don't believe in religion like that,
but I believe that God wants us to be good
to each other. I believe in the If there is
a religion, I believe, and I just believe in the
religion of love. And I think in order for you

(46:55):
to be good at loving, you have to be a
better person. So I'm willing to go if y'all say, teacher,
I think you should try this person, I go talk.

Speaker 4 (47:01):
To the bitch. Okay, have friends, y'all tell me stuff
that they're uh that their therapist. So I'm like, you
should fire that bitch.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
I mean, not all therapists are good. And then if
they're they're people, they're people, fly people. It's like everybody else.

Speaker 4 (47:17):
And I mean, but they're helpful.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
Yeah, it would be hard. Therapist is hard. Shout out
to therapist.

Speaker 6 (47:23):
Shout out to the therapist because they're going.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
I think their health is such a high standard too.
And like, so when a therapist sucks up, it's like, bitch,
imagine being a therapist and like falling off the deep end, like.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
I mean that happens probably more often than you so much.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
I know, I know, but yeah, God, bless God bless
the love language.

Speaker 5 (47:46):
Understanding, and I don't even know if that's a love
take the time to understand me. I'm gonna try to
understand you. I'm gonna really take the time to understand you. Yeah,
I would like that back birth birth.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
But see Bobby eating pussy min.

Speaker 5 (48:06):
Anal, no going up my ass now, No, I'm very
not into that because I'm too into you being into me.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
Oh, if it's two men, though, I maybe highly recommend.

Speaker 4 (48:23):
I probably I'm so prudish. I'm not prudis, But I'm
just like, what if I had one as one in
the mouth.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
We'll really tell him no.

Speaker 5 (48:34):
But I just I don't do anything really honestly that
if somebody found out, I would feel ashamed about.

Speaker 4 (48:40):
I swear to god, I don't do anything like But if.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
You wanted, do you think that what if you enjoyed it, if.

Speaker 4 (48:44):
My children found out, I would feeling ashamed.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
I think that if you and if you had that
experience and you enjoyed it so much, it would shift
something in your mind where you actually wouldn't really give
a fuck. You'd be like yeah, he's like no, no,
you can't help it.

Speaker 4 (49:02):
I think about it, be like.

Speaker 5 (49:07):
Your mother, I know, but like and you know, to
be honest, I think it's okay for me to have
things that's like okay, yeah that could possibly happen that
don't happen. I just like, like, can we start with
some good one on one sex.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
We just need to We just need to get one
luxury dick. Let's start with one okay.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Oh my god?

Speaker 3 (49:33):
Well motherhood.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
You hear that she would never.

Speaker 3 (49:43):
Afterlife now death, we don't die, pet peeves, white bitches
that be crying to try to use it.

Speaker 4 (49:55):
Like a weapon.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
Oh yeah, idol.

Speaker 5 (50:01):
My mama icon mm hmmm, I will be one day.
Bad choices come in here, bitch y'all got to talking
about three ship.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
This is a good shot. Welcome to the did well
you have survived? I did survived? Wa wa?

Speaker 4 (50:27):
Wanted a fucking mouth?

Speaker 3 (50:28):
What it is?

Speaker 4 (50:29):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (50:34):
Drink some water too?

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Oh wait one second, fix your mic?

Speaker 3 (50:39):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Please God damn.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Me.

Speaker 3 (50:51):
There's been Podcasting is a billion dollar industry.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
And I know this is terrible?

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Is it?

Speaker 3 (50:57):
We need more research?

Speaker 2 (50:58):
Do we need to inventive utter. What I know is
this is this what we're gonna get?

Speaker 4 (51:04):
What's going on?

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Cut this out?

Speaker 2 (51:05):
I did already put the time mark. I'm not kidding.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
I'm really David.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
Right now, we're retiring from podcasting, guys.

Speaker 3 (51:14):
Oh my god. Okay, So, and now that I'm nice
and high, I have a question about your creative process
as an artist. I know you've written for a lot
of iconic people like Raphael Sadik. You actually work with
a friend of mine who I used to work with.
I was a personal assistant for many years, Macy Gray.

Speaker 5 (51:32):
Oh my god, I loved her so she was also
one of my favorite people.

Speaker 4 (51:35):
To work with.

Speaker 3 (51:35):
She was on the show and I worked I was
her personal system for like three years from like nineteen
to twenty two. She took me all over the fucking
world Like it was like the most incredible experience. And
she's nuts, and I fucking love her and being inside
of her creative process was so cool too. But I'm
curious about yours, Like when you write a song or
you like you're sitting down to write, like is smoking

(51:57):
part of the process.

Speaker 4 (51:57):
Absolutely absolutely? And I like to be alone and I'm
not a good collaborator.

Speaker 5 (52:05):
At gate because I need to get my thoughts out
by myself. And then once I get my thoughts out,
I can now start to hear what you have to say,
but it'll it'll just cloud everything that might want to
come out if you start saying shit to me. So
I like to be by myself when I'm writing, when
I'm starting to.

Speaker 4 (52:22):
To record, I like all the lights off.

Speaker 5 (52:24):
I'm not one of those like the young people now
they put the thing in there, they put the mic
in the in the control room, and they say, no,
I'm old school.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
Put because I'm kind of shy. I really don't want
you to look at me. It is extremely vulnerable to
me to create. Maybe it's not. I will say, this
is creating, creating.

Speaker 3 (52:42):
Having your pussy open exactly. That's what I was Literally, it's.

Speaker 5 (52:48):
Like sex to me. I don't I can't just have
sex with anybody, you know. I'm not that kind of person.
So I need time to like figure out what I'm
doing first, and then we can come in here and collect.

Speaker 4 (53:00):
And I have to feel safe with you.

Speaker 5 (53:01):
I've been in rooms with people that are brilliant and
great and Grammys and all the things, but I just
didn't feel comfortable and nothing came out, and they might
walk away from that thinking that I'm not as dope
as I am.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
No, really you're not, because you didn't make me feel like.

Speaker 5 (53:16):
I need to come out. So my process is really
like intimate me by myself. I'm not like burning candles
and shit like that, but I just need some smoke
and I need a space to get to by myself.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
That's the smaller the better. I write in my car
a lot.

Speaker 5 (53:29):
You know, I look in the mirror when I'm at
home because I love mirrors. I have mirrors all over
my house because I just love looking at myself.

Speaker 4 (53:35):
But I look at the mirror a lot.

Speaker 5 (53:37):
I stand like dead in front of the mirror, and
I just sing to myself, looking in my eyes, and
then kind of like convincing myself for the lyrics because
I don't write them. I sing them over and over
and over and over again.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
Util they stick.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
Oh you don't write, you don't write.

Speaker 4 (53:48):
No, because what the fuck I'm gonna be like? And then.

Speaker 5 (53:52):
But I do need to start using my voice, and
I do sometimes more because I get high and it's
and I didn't write me girl, and I don't have
the discipline to say I'm gonna call you right right back.
You know, I end up in a conversation song gone,
that's happened a million times.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting like that you say that
because I think sometimes too, like talking into I think
that's why, like what we've created and talking like having
like something recorded that you can come back to, even
pulling out your phone and just being like I'm gonna
I'm gonna just sing this in here so I don't
forget and get high. I think too, Like when you're

(54:31):
talking about your process of needing small spaces and needing
to be alone, I think about my process with Jamila,
because we're you know, we're creators together. We have our
own entity, and like the way that we collaborate is
so intuitive, like it's just a conversation. It just kind
of builds we should do this. Oh yeah, then we
could do that. Actually, hold out, let me look that
up real quick, and like, oh, how can we do that? Oh?

(54:52):
This is cute? I like that. What are we gonna wear?
Like it's like, so we're like this all over the
place and then it kind of forms into one thing.
And then I think about out my creating and like
because I like to write to and I've like sometimes
I'll you know, make music and stuff, but it's so
into me you have to slip.

Speaker 4 (55:07):
That in there, like ah, sometimes I because.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
It's not I mean, because it's I just it's for
fun at this point. But like I just I know
that I can't create in that It's a different energy
that I have to be in to create. And like
even like speaking to like you know, the Grammy people
that can create in that way, Like everyone has their
own little process, and I think sometimes that like people
can feel can be shamed even for their process, Like
someone like you who needs to be a fucking loan.

(55:31):
I don't want to create with everybody in the room.

Speaker 5 (55:33):
And I remember back in the day, it's a friend
of mine who's very very successful writer and artists. He
used to say, it's okay, I go in and you know,
I can work with all these people and I may
come out with a good record, so you can go
and buy yourself and make like a killer record. He's like,
you know, I used to always tell them, you can
make ten records in a day.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
How do you do that? It takes me all day
to make one record, or two days to make one record.
You know, sometimes months I'll leave.

Speaker 5 (55:57):
That motherfucker alone because it's just got me stumped, and
I'll back maybe years, and oh I love this, and
then I can now I see the vision for it.
But he told me, he said ten maybe two good.
You write two? You got too good records. And I
think it's because I'm hard on myself. Not that I'm not.

Speaker 4 (56:16):
That I'm like in there like a mad scientist.

Speaker 5 (56:19):
I'm just hard on myself in the sense that it's
this honest, It's not is it good?

Speaker 4 (56:24):
Just is it honest? It's somebody. If I write this song.

Speaker 5 (56:28):
And I give the Senate song to you guys, will
you be able to relate to it? Like do you
do you have an experience with the record? More so
then if it's a good record, won't there it is?
It's a fucking good record.

Speaker 3 (56:40):
Yeah, No, I feel that. What was the process of
writing I don't know if I got what was that?

Speaker 4 (56:47):
Like?

Speaker 6 (56:48):
Were you alone in the small It was a long
process because that started out as the different different drums,
and I kind of started writing it on different drums,
and then the new drums came in.

Speaker 5 (57:00):
But I would sit on my sofa often as I
do still. I like to, you know, consume copie some
mouse of cannabis, and I'll just sit there watching TV,
you know, whatever it's on the television at this time.
Back then, it was like an Animal Planet. I used
to watch a lot, because that's why I call myself
the Linings, because I love looking at Animal Planet when

(57:21):
I would be high when I was younger, and this
would be like a relief from being a mom and
stuff like that, and I would watch it, and then
I would go from that, watching The Pride to Belly.

Speaker 4 (57:31):
I would go back and forth from Belly.

Speaker 5 (57:33):
To Animal Planet, you know, and because I back then
still when they had like DVD's.

Speaker 4 (57:38):
And stuff like that, So it's just kind of like, yeah,
go back and forth. And I just.

Speaker 5 (57:44):
I wanted to know if since there had a girl
because I see him around my way and that might
not be New York, that might be Pasadena, but on
my television he's there every day, do you know what
I mean? So I just kind of and I remember
when I met Nasen and he said, I don't understand
how that song is about me, because you know, but
I just kind of I'm you guys are creative, you know,
we make up worlds in our head. You know, if

(58:05):
I really followed through with the things in my head,
I be in jail because I could have really stalked
this man because at the time I had a real
relationship in my head that this man I was even
after that, like it kind of like it kind of
for a while. I think I dated Nads in my
head for like about two whole years.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
That's kind of I've had those time. Did you hear
those feelings? It's like where you feel like you know, yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:27):
And it was really based on Sincere just that character.
I want to go back to Africa.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
You've met Na's at this point. Yeah, he said.

Speaker 4 (58:38):
No nods as cool as hell about it. That's the
cool thing.

Speaker 5 (58:40):
Like it's like kind of like okay, and I think
it's an amazing rapper, you know what I mean. Like,
but you know, and he's a beautiful man. But even
more so, I'm crazy and I gotta stop telling people that.
The more I tell people this, some more I realize
not age.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Nobody is altogether. You know what, when you were talking
about the creative process and you're talking about how we
create together because we also will smoke and like, yeah,
I guess because you're an artist, we think about what
is your creative process, But I hadn't applied it to
just yeah, the creativity and the process of anything else.
So when I thought when you were talking, I was

(59:20):
thinking about our process and how like yeah, the visuals
and the things that come up, and like the safety
that has to be created, and like, yeah, the flow
that happened, And that was thinking like sometimes she used
AI like when she's talking to it, I'm like, stop
doing that. I keep confusing me, Like you're talking to me,
She's like. And then I'm like, huh huh, wait what
should and so like what the fuck? And I'm like,

(59:43):
am I old? Because I'm like, why is she doing this?
You're confusing me? But I never considered the process feeling,
like the feeling that has to come with it, and
and like even the things that we've created, even in
writing a book together and like sitting with each other
and like even I'm the airway like there had like
literally when we come in this sermon, closed this door.

(01:00:04):
Every single time, there's an energy that's created. It's a love,
like I feel such genuinely like I love you, you know,
and like we do create like this little bubble every time,
and like, and we bring people into that process when
we sit down and ask crazy questions and stuff like that.
But yeah, thank you for sharing that. And even if
you're listening, whatever you do to create in this world,
whatever you're creating, whatever that is, like to sit and

(01:00:25):
observe what your process is and how you and what
makes you feel good and like, uh and yeah, like
I love that you you said that because it made
me sit and think about that my process and so
many things. So yeah, and I think once you know,
you can hone in on that environment and hone in
on that process and so yeah, applying that to all work.

Speaker 5 (01:00:45):
Yeah, and once you know and you know your process
and you find yourself comfortable comfortable with your process, you
don't let people take you out of that process to
get the best out of yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
I will say, I.

Speaker 5 (01:00:56):
Remember when Missy Elliott was like the premiere writer for
you to go to. And I remember someone telling me
a story because I don't like people there when I write,
I would write for.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
People, but bitch go over there, like do you want
this or not? And I was like right there that
word bitch go over there, you know? And so she
someone this person told.

Speaker 5 (01:01:15):
Me Missy would not let anyone in the room, and
there was this particular artist that kept trying to come
in and see what she was doing.

Speaker 4 (01:01:21):
They went back and the next time and Missy.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Was going, he was gone. She said, I guess I
gotta go.

Speaker 5 (01:01:27):
I don't know how true that story is if somebody
told me that, you know, and I think that it
let people have their process, especially if you like what
they do. I also remember them talking about shaw dey
h Drake. I don't know how true this stuff is,
but ask her for a feature or something like that,
and for her to come in and all this stuff,
and it's like, I don't want you to see how
the magic is made. And I don't either because I

(01:01:49):
be in there crazy. I don't want you to see,
not because I'm afraid of you or anything like that.
I don't want you to see me figuring it out.
I want to just go figure it out.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
Like while I your makeup, on your makeup. I don't
like when people watching, like men watching put on my makeup, Like.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
Do you think that the like create? As you're talking
and I'm thinking about like people's creative processes, and then
I'm also thinking about like like the male creative process
versus the female creative process, because I like, I'm curious
you think there's a difference like how men create in
that space because as women, we are emotional beings, we
do we kind of need to retreat. Not all women, right,

(01:02:26):
some women can create in full frontal, but I find
that a lot of the female creators that I know,
there is this like there is a step in whatever
that process is that requires like this this alone. And
I think sometimes with men, not to say they don't,
I feel like there's but there's more.

Speaker 5 (01:02:42):
Of a bravado like we're going to do be their
ego driven nature.

Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
They need somebody else around.

Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
But that's because the creative creative energy is feminine. So
even when they're in their creativeness, like there's a femininity
that they have vulnerability and openness literally that has to
exist in order for them to create. So maybe I'm
just answering my own question.

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
And I'm impressed you should manifest like full frontals.

Speaker 4 (01:03:10):
A full frontal creative processing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
I think full frontal creative process like open the legs.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
So having a full frontal leading guys.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
Having a full frontal creative process just letting you know
it's so vulnerable and just really get the creative energy.
I think maybe we're missing a mark. Yeah, you're right,
open your legs, your legs.

Speaker 4 (01:03:27):
Yeah, I would like.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
I want to know about your upcoming project and your single.

Speaker 4 (01:03:34):
I have a new single coming out. I don't know
the exact date just yet. You guys, I listen but.

Speaker 5 (01:03:39):
Don't absorb sometimes and I read skimming past these things.
I really just like to make music, and I'm grateful
for the people around me to do all other stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:03:49):
But I have a single coming out.

Speaker 5 (01:03:51):
That it will be the first record for an album
that I have coming later in the summer that's called
Grown War in Realness. In the first singles call single
and I literally talk about why I'm single.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
And yeah it's something that PJ.

Speaker 5 (01:04:09):
Morton and I were supposed to do this collaborative project
and it didn't pan out. But the first record he
sent me was this track. And instantly when I started
to write, I was like, I think I needed to
say that.

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
It came out like what you know what I mean?
It wasn't like a keep running it over and over.

Speaker 5 (01:04:23):
It just literally was there. I knew it as soon
as I heard it. It just kind of like when
you asked me a question, it just flows. That's kind
of how it was, you know, And I really needed
to tell people because I've been single a very long time,
you know, and people always say, teacher, you're not you're such.

Speaker 4 (01:04:40):
A beautiful girl, like you're so cool, blah blah blah
blah blah. Why are you single? Why are you single?

Speaker 5 (01:04:44):
As if it's a question that I should even have
to answer. You know, I I'm here, I'm present, listen.

Speaker 4 (01:04:54):
You could go online and find out where I am
at any time.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
Well, most people don't ask like why are you married? Married?
Why are you married if you're not single? It's why
are you single? It's just asking people why why are
you married?

Speaker 5 (01:05:05):
And I'm not offended by you asking me this.

Speaker 4 (01:05:09):
I just think you're asking the wrong people. Why don't
you round up all the men.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
That's the wrong question.

Speaker 5 (01:05:13):
Yeah, you're asking the wrong person, right, round up all
the men in my age record that are healthy black men,
And I would even consider and ask them why I'm
single if they're single, because married men don't want me
to be single, they want me to.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Be with them.

Speaker 5 (01:05:26):
I don't want to message that, so it would have
to be single men like, I don't think it's a
question for me. I'm gonna choose what presents itself properly.
But I'm not gonna chase fucking ship. That is not
the nature to me of this woman. I can't tell
you the nature of every other woman I receive. I
don't chase shit.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
Would you day a younger man?

Speaker 4 (01:05:45):
They owe my ass?

Speaker 3 (01:05:47):
So trying they are.

Speaker 4 (01:05:52):
It's once again my children, girl, they're married. But if
a man is five years old.

Speaker 3 (01:06:02):
My children knew that they're gonna support you no matter what.

Speaker 4 (01:06:05):
They're gonna support me no matter what.

Speaker 5 (01:06:06):
But I swear I feel like it's kind of leaning
towards pedophilia for me.

Speaker 4 (01:06:10):
I can't get into it twenty not all.

Speaker 5 (01:06:13):
But like my sons are thirty, okay, so when you
got a man it's thirty five.

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
It feels too close to you close.

Speaker 5 (01:06:20):
You were five when I was literally like getting cut
over to these babies were coming out.

Speaker 4 (01:06:23):
You know you probably you.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Can't put it. You can't put in that contact, you
can't put it.

Speaker 4 (01:06:26):
In that but you cannot not.

Speaker 5 (01:06:28):
So do you have a girl, Yeah, you have a girl.
I'm not fucking talking to y'all host because you have girls.
If I had a girl, I.

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
Wouldn't know you're talking to me.

Speaker 5 (01:06:39):
Then you you probably would feel that way about it
if you had a girl.

Speaker 4 (01:06:43):
But I can't because I have boys.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
Thirty okay, but I.

Speaker 3 (01:06:46):
Think that what if you just start just let it go,
just don't think about it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
Just think about the soul.

Speaker 3 (01:06:51):
Yeah, I think about the soul and the human presenting
himself in front of you.

Speaker 5 (01:06:54):
Once again, I was born in nineteen seventy. So here's
the thing. I'm not mad at other people doing it.
And I see it a lot. I see it a lot.
I see seventy year old women with twenty year old men.
I don't know how you flip that she's disgusting me,
but go off, you know, But I just really just
I like grown men.

Speaker 4 (01:07:11):
I like grown men. And then the younger you get
younger to me, I gotta consider this ship you saying
that really don't interest me.

Speaker 5 (01:07:18):
You know, like you are younger than me, and I'm
a grown woman, and I really want to enjoy a
grown ass man. But they on my ass, and the
grown men justed to do not They're not as direct,
they're not, you know, so we may get there and
I might just have to have a little fun and
keep it moving.

Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
You know, I.

Speaker 2 (01:07:37):
Support that, even if it may not be fine, it
may get serious, but just be open to you. Never know.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
You're also going on tour soon, right, maybe maybe maybe
a lot.

Speaker 4 (01:07:51):
I think you guys are very optimistic, and I'm gonna take.

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
That energy in.

Speaker 4 (01:07:54):
I'm gonna take that energy in. I just want to
I don't want a grown ass man doing his own thing.
I want you know what I would be in the
perfect world. Well, he just comes to get me. I'm
right here.

Speaker 2 (01:08:05):
He's gonna come.

Speaker 4 (01:08:06):
Yeah, that's all I'm I'm chilling like and then that's.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
It will be so clear and so easy. It'll be
just like ship.

Speaker 3 (01:08:13):
Yeah. Where are you going to be on tour?

Speaker 5 (01:08:15):
I'm gonna be all across the United States of America.
It's we start in. Actually, I want to make sure
I tell you what.

Speaker 4 (01:08:22):
Tour it is.

Speaker 5 (01:08:23):
It is the Floor Tree Presents the Say Yes Tour,
and I will be a guest on that tour. And
if you come out, they got me up there the
first thing you see, So bitch, get there early.

Speaker 4 (01:08:38):
I'm gonna hit you with a little avatize.

Speaker 3 (01:08:39):
Beautiful way to open.

Speaker 4 (01:08:41):
Yeah, but yeah, it's gonna be super cool. I'm very excited.
I love the floor trees music always have.

Speaker 5 (01:08:46):
And the vibes of everybody on stage should be pretty good.
And we start in on April eighth, I think in
New New Jersey, Newark, New Jersey, and we have two
shoes shows in New Newark, New Jersey, and I don't
know where we go after that, but I think at
some point we will be in New Orleans.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
I will get back to home, yeah, I will.

Speaker 5 (01:09:07):
I will get so I think it's the sixth or eighth.
I don't let me get but yes, I will be
on that tour and it's gonna be super cool.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
And we'll put all the information in please, yeah, so
our people can find you. You need to go see her.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
You need to go see Rugby.

Speaker 3 (01:09:20):
There I'm going. Are you coming here?

Speaker 4 (01:09:23):
I am definitely coming to Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:09:25):
And while I am on tour, I will be performing
the new record single, so you know if you want
a little preview, and while I'm on tour, should be
coming out during that time too, So it'll be good.

Speaker 4 (01:09:34):
It's gonna be really really good.

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
Excited for you.

Speaker 5 (01:09:37):
I'm very excited about new music and new perspective, because
it's I don't think people understand the double edged sword
of having a cult fan base that loves one project,
you know what I mean, and not that they don't
love everything else, but they're drawn to that, and then
here that is.

Speaker 4 (01:09:53):
That's twenty something years later. I'm a grown ass woman now.

Speaker 5 (01:09:56):
I'm not saying the same shit, even though the core
of me is that, right, But I have new perspectives now,
and I'm just really excited for people to hear my
new perspectives, that's all.

Speaker 3 (01:10:05):
Yeah, I'm excited for that. Oh my god. I'm women
as women, like we have to be. Oftentimes we get stuck, right,
people like try to like to pigeonhole us, and like,
I think that women have come through in this time
and space in such a like powerful way. We're commanding
our creations to be forefront. And I'm just going to

(01:10:27):
put so much love and energy into this project because
it's going to be legendary. PJ. Morton is iconic. All
the projects, all the things that you do are iconic
because you're an iconic badass bitch. I like that, thank you,
so yes, I'm excited to hear, and I really want.

Speaker 4 (01:10:42):
Women to.

Speaker 5 (01:10:44):
Embrace aging. It's not a bad thing. It's better than so.
First of all, men sold you that shit. Why did
you buy it?

Speaker 4 (01:10:52):
You know what I mean? Why did you buy?

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
Now?

Speaker 4 (01:10:54):
I love men.

Speaker 5 (01:10:54):
I'm not speaking against men, but they sold you that shit.
And I feel like aging is it's so I'm better
with time, you know, get I get wisdom, and if
you keep yourself up, you still look good.

Speaker 4 (01:11:06):
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 (01:11:06):
Like, I don't see the bad thing in aging, and
I know that it's not the same for everyone, but
I think we as women tend to be very hard
on an ageing process with ourselves, and I don't think we.

Speaker 2 (01:11:17):
Should do that.

Speaker 4 (01:11:18):
You should look at the beauty.

Speaker 5 (01:11:19):
And what I do is I pay attention to women
that are before me that age naturally and still look
just as beautiful, and not.

Speaker 4 (01:11:27):
Just to me, but sexually to other too. Men, do
you know what I mean?

Speaker 6 (01:11:31):
So?

Speaker 5 (01:11:31):
I think that this album hopefully makes people feel like
it's cool to become a grown woman.

Speaker 4 (01:11:37):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (01:11:38):
You don't lose your cool because you become more grown.
I think you kind of sink deeper into it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's so important as someone
as someone who's I'm gonna be thirty nine? Am I
thirty nine? I'm gonna be thirty nine this year? And
we were talking about this in the last episode, Like
being on camera too, you can physically watch yourself, like
we as a human we in this time and space,
we are looking at ourselves more than a fucking ever,

(01:12:06):
more than ever. We're not supposed to be seeing ourselves
just much like it's too much. And so I think
like aging in particular for women, like it has become
this thing that we think that we can freeze, and
we can freeze, and we're seeing the results. We're seeing
what's happening to the bitches who have frozen too early.

Speaker 5 (01:12:24):
Sometimes they look crazy and they look I'm being kind, yes,
said most of them.

Speaker 3 (01:12:34):
But I also say, like the fountain of youth is joy,
and the found of youth is like saying yes life,
and like curiosity and being open and evolving and learning.

Speaker 4 (01:12:48):
Trying to get me to have a threesome.

Speaker 2 (01:12:49):
Girl curious pleasure.

Speaker 4 (01:12:56):
And her preferences with young men.

Speaker 2 (01:12:58):
Want to cut my hair, sexy knows what he wants
to established. I agree, though, And there's so much pressure
on women. There's so much pressure especially living in LA
and shit, it's just it's pressure and the like. Yeah,
like I think the power is in doing it gracefully
and like being and bold the time. Yeah, yeah, graceful,

(01:13:21):
not in modestly, but yeah, like living fun and be
free and like without nobody telling you shit about why
are you single, nigga? Why are you talking to me? Right?

Speaker 3 (01:13:32):
I mean it's like it's not even the looks too.
It's like even like you know, being in the music industry,
being in a career, being in front of the camera,
there has been this like this fake reality that you
have a timeline there too, write like that, like you
can't you can't start a singing career in your forties.
What the fuck are you talking about? You know, let
you continue rules like you can't shift your career, Like

(01:13:56):
what are you talking about? Like you can't become a
mom again, Like you know, there's all these things about
what we can't do, and it's all fucking fake. And
you see the women that are that are aging the
most gracefully, the ones that you love and adore, those
women's didn't they didn't subscribe to that ship. But it
is a small group of women because only a small
group of us have the balls enough, not the balls,

(01:14:18):
the pussy enough to really say, fuck y'all. I'm gonna
just do what I want to do and be me.
And we're all over here, not well, not me, not
all of us. Well, I've had a little botox, but
the people that I've had a little bunch, I'm not
gonna lie. But like the people that are like so
like just want to fight against the natural process of
who we are as women, which is wise, which is cellulite,

(01:14:42):
which is wrinkly.

Speaker 4 (01:14:44):
And I don't think men care as much as we do.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
They don't. They don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:14:48):
It's us.

Speaker 5 (01:14:49):
But they started it, Yeah they did.

Speaker 3 (01:14:53):
We've perpetuated it, but how dare they?

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
The one promise we're all given is that we're gonna
fucking age every Okay, no one's exempt.

Speaker 4 (01:15:02):
There's an alternative. You can die, yep.

Speaker 2 (01:15:06):
Yeah, thank god for the aging.

Speaker 4 (01:15:07):
But I think you touched on something about this. It's
not just the looks.

Speaker 5 (01:15:10):
I think the spirit of a person like I still
feel in my spirit like a teenager, Like I feel
like I can do anything my body can't, you know
what I mean. But and I will probably stop myself
because now I'm more mature, but I.

Speaker 4 (01:15:23):
Just feel open to things. I feel excited about things.

Speaker 5 (01:15:25):
And I think that when you start to let life
wear you down, you start to stop seeing possibilities.

Speaker 4 (01:15:32):
You know what I'm saying. You start you be.

Speaker 5 (01:15:33):
Literally become old, and you feel old, and you look
old to yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:15:37):
Yes, feeling how you feel literally makes you ages you.
If you're feeling down, if you're feeling deprised, if you're
feeling beat up, then you will look like even if
you look at pictures many times you were not doing
so well in a bad relationship. You can physically see
it on yourself because the inside is going to always
project to the physical. Yeah, I've enjoyed talking to you

(01:15:58):
and getting high. It was lovely. It's lovely.

Speaker 3 (01:16:01):
Thank you guys for having yes before we get out
of here. This has been wonderful and I feel like
we've hit so many marks. We've covered a lot. I'll
talk a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:16:18):
Stories, a hor a horror story.

Speaker 5 (01:16:29):
I don't really have a horry story. I told you
the time, but if I think back, I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:16:36):
I'm trying to. I've been trying to conjure one all
day because.

Speaker 5 (01:16:42):
I will I will have one another time because I'm
gonna go get one.

Speaker 4 (01:16:46):
I have an assignment.

Speaker 3 (01:16:48):
Yes, this is your homework, this is your horry assignment. Yes,
and a freaky.

Speaker 5 (01:16:53):
I have gotten very freaky, but I think it's basic
freaky though, vanilla.

Speaker 2 (01:17:00):
And basic freaky.

Speaker 4 (01:17:03):
No, no, no, no, yeah, I might yeah kind of.

Speaker 3 (01:17:06):
Maybe, just maybe you don't have to go all the way.
Maybe you just get a nice man with the nice
eyes and the nice teeth. Seems like he takes care
of his kids and is healthy to just eat your
pussy on tour.

Speaker 4 (01:17:17):
And it comes along.

Speaker 3 (01:17:18):
I'm not gonna you don't have to say he needs
to serve you.

Speaker 4 (01:17:20):
He could do all of it if he comes along.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
If he comes along, I'm the manifestation.

Speaker 5 (01:17:25):
But yeah, I'll take that. I'll take that. I'll take
it if you turn me on. It's not for a
lack of me wanting to. It's a lack of being
turned on. Yeah, I can't turn my cel phone.

Speaker 4 (01:17:35):
I'm doud I do. I ain't gonna but go ahead.

Speaker 3 (01:17:37):
But it's but it's great when someone else can. I
would it literally triggers something else, Bitch that the moment
that happened, something else is about to like awaken inside
of you again. Speaking of awakenings, it's terrible time and

(01:18:00):
chose the tower card. Shout out to a hockey terror
I love you through the Tower card represents awakening. Okay,
sudden change, revelation, chaos. Let's see what the tower card
has in store. When the Tower card appears in a
taroor reading, expect the unexpected, massive change, destruction, chaos, and

(01:18:24):
maybe a divorce. Okay, it's kind of dark. I'm not
gonna lie. It's gonna get dark for a second. But
there's always light on the end.

Speaker 4 (01:18:32):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:18:32):
Okay, was it reverse?

Speaker 3 (01:18:37):
I don't think so. It may be divorce, death of
a loved one, financial failure, health problems, natural disaster, job loss,
or an event that shakes you to the core, affecting
your spirituality, mentality, or physicality. There's no escaping it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:50):
Change America.

Speaker 3 (01:18:51):
Change is here to tear things up. Just when you
think you're safe and comfortable, a tower moment comes and
hits and throws you for a loop. A lightning bolt
of clarity and insight cuts through the lies and illusions
you've been telling yourself, and now the truth comes to
light that you want your preciate your world may come
crashing down because it's so fucking good in ways you

(01:19:12):
could never have imagined. Teader as you realize that you
have been building your life on unstable foundations, mistruths, illusions.
Everything you thought to be true has turned on its head.
You are now questioning what is real and what is not.
The best way forward is to let this structure self
This structure self destruct so you can rebuild and refocus,

(01:19:32):
and let's be real. With a card like tower, you
have no choice but to surrender to this destruction, no
matter how unwanted or painful. Change on this deep level
is hard, but you need to trust that life is
happening for you, not to you, and that is all,
and it's all for a reason. You will grow stronger, wiser,
and more resilient and develop a new perspective on life
you did not even know existed. It doesn't always associate

(01:19:54):
with pain and turmoil. If you are highly aware and
in tune with your inner guidance system, then this Tarot
card can indicate a spiritual awakening or a revelation. You
may be able to see the cracks forming and take
action before the whole structure comes tumbling down. The tower
card is your opportunity to break free from the old
ways of thinking that have been holding you back.

Speaker 4 (01:20:14):
All right, So I'm gonna have to fuck.

Speaker 3 (01:20:15):
With the young Yeah I am.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
I am season I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:20:19):
Not fucking with ym. I'll fuck with a young man
I am.

Speaker 3 (01:20:26):
And if you're older and older, even Olderman you know.

Speaker 5 (01:20:29):
I listen, that card is taking me to where i've
It makes me feel like I've already been in that process,
you know what I mean. So yeah, I'm open. I'm
far more open than it seems. It's just certain things
that just know one of the things by means I
know myself. I'm okay with knowing myself. Yeah, I'm solid
in that, I know where I know that. Okay, this,

(01:20:50):
I'll open myself up that that's a fucking hard No.

Speaker 3 (01:20:55):
Well, I hope you don't feel pre pressured from us, because.

Speaker 4 (01:20:57):
I feel a hell of a lot of things, because we're.

Speaker 3 (01:21:01):
All for knowing yourself and taking your time and not
giving your pussy away.

Speaker 4 (01:21:04):
So yeah, I want to I think you'll have it.

Speaker 3 (01:21:06):
I want to give it a when the right the
right one comes though.

Speaker 4 (01:21:12):
And the right one just turn me on. Yeah, you know,
nobody's turning me on. That's all. Pray for me.

Speaker 5 (01:21:19):
Next blunt y'all do with the next people to come
sit that put my name in that blunch.

Speaker 2 (01:21:23):
Okay, we got you.

Speaker 3 (01:21:27):
Well, thank you so much for coming.

Speaker 4 (01:21:28):
Thank you for having me. I had a great fucking time.

Speaker 3 (01:21:30):
I'm high as hell.

Speaker 5 (01:21:32):
I am very high, and I want to say that
what you're doing is beautiful and wonderful to make mothers
have this moment of just who I don't have to
be perfect. I can come here with these crazy holes
and just listen to this crazy ship.

Speaker 4 (01:21:43):
They talking about and have a good time. You're doing
the lord's.

Speaker 3 (01:21:45):
Work, baby.

Speaker 2 (01:21:46):
Thank you, you're doing the Lord's for.

Speaker 3 (01:21:48):
Thank you, Thank you for coming. Can tell the people
where they can find you.

Speaker 5 (01:21:50):
Yes, you can find me on all these social network
things at teacher Moses and please go to t moses
dot com and buy merch because that's how I pay
for this fabulous life style all I have.

Speaker 4 (01:22:00):
And don't you want me to keep at fabulous lights?

Speaker 3 (01:22:02):
What kind of merged you have?

Speaker 4 (01:22:04):
I have all kinds of things. I have T shirts
and records and bags.

Speaker 3 (01:22:09):
Do you sign your records?

Speaker 5 (01:22:10):
I always sign every single fucking record, but I sell
the records more so getting signed live. So if you
want one of the vinyls, come to the show signed.
But if you buy it online a girl like that,
I'm not signing nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:22:25):
But if you bring it to a show, well I'm
coming to your show with the records, or you can
sign my record. Please, thank you. Will y'all know where
to find us at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram.
If you haven't already, make sure you hit the subscribe
button and subscribe to our YouTube channel. We have retreats
coming up this summer. We were talking about the retreat
in Costa Rica. I'll give you more little more information

(01:22:46):
about that, but it's a beautiful experience. Y'all heard us
talk about it. Actually, I'm probably let's put a commercial
at the end of this episode so you can just
see what we're talking about instead of us talking about
But yeah, I believe everything in the episode.

Speaker 4 (01:22:59):
Just yeah, I'm living until I find out Well, maym
have been known?

Speaker 1 (01:23:08):
Earth that used to be broken till now I got
the blues in to like Beyonce just throat shot and
popping his cow wearing our voices. Patriarchy kept it in
the box to exploit it. Women put the pee and powers.
So it's pointing that they want me to be good,
so I make bad choices. Bad mom, not a bad mom,
but a bad mom. It he's in on put cannabis
in their bathbon walked in bossas cap and I blew

(01:23:30):
his cat ball tip dog. Now I'm immune to the
cat called her being no waisted straight to it like
a dollar sign.

Speaker 4 (01:23:36):
Mother, rent the lover when too.

Speaker 1 (01:23:37):
It looks like a water sign where you're rent the
winter essential will when the summertime.

Speaker 3 (01:23:41):
I do with all?

Speaker 4 (01:23:42):
Ain't know when that needs a rerunning. B

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