Pretty and Petty

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.
She cooked, she cleaned, cared for her children and the
man of the house, and of course.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
She didn't talk back.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
She was both obedient and soft by nature.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
She was a good woman who always made good choices.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
That shit, we're Good Mom's Bad Choices.

Speaker 4 (00:18):
Two single mom who said, but the patriarchy shared all
their bad choices.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
And found out they were so bad.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
After all, we're expert over chairs and your new vestie.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Sit back and do the ride. I can do a
pad on.

Speaker 5 (00:34):
I could do all on my.

Speaker 6 (00:39):
Powers.

Speaker 4 (00:40):
Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and
I'm Nayla.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
And we're in the Jungle house. This is the Good
Mom's Jungle Edition.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
It's been a long time since we did a Good
Mom's Jungle audition. It's been a long time since we
did our own production.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
And let me tell you it took about one hour.
And if you saw what was happening to hold these
cameras at akaur iPhones and another random camera, you would
think we would would know, we would be better.

Speaker 4 (01:06):
We think, we think we'd have better equipment right now,
but so have one sorchy box night stand a lamp
and to ring lights we borrowed.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
But you know what, this is a first in regards
to recording during a retreat.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
This is and during I don't think we've ever recorded
at Sonora.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
No, we haven't.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yeah, so all the girls are maybe sleeping or about
to gather to the yoga Shella.

Speaker 7 (01:30):
For am yoga that we probably won't make because we're
here with you.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
It's stay two of our second retreat of our trip,
our twenty second trip, our twenty second retreat overall. Yeah,
how are you feeling about that?

Speaker 7 (01:43):
Twenty two is my luking number?

Speaker 1 (01:45):
It is, yes, Oh yeah, I feel good.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
I feel like I'm in the jungle. I'm happy to
be here. I feel moisturized and sun kissed.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
So my mom's here.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
It's the first, so I feel good. And the Mammy
and May retreat was really good.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, we just finished our first mommy and Me retreat
out here, and we took over this whole property. There
were fourteen little kids running around and like before the
retreat started, Mela and I were like, we're so busy
planning it that I don't think we like really recognize
just all the different types of energies age ranges, parenting

(02:27):
styles and potential safety hazards.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
And chaos that was gonna ensue. At first, I was like,
what the fuck have we done?

Speaker 7 (02:38):
But everything was I it's a, it's a. It was beautiful.
I think it.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
I feel like the Mommy and Me retreat inevitably there's
always a lesson in everything, and obviously we learned stuff
and like it was really putting me into like not childhood,
like childhood healing, but it really like was a mirror
like I just when it got started, I was like, oh, yeah,
children are completely unregulated emotionally and other like they don't

(03:09):
give a fuck what's going on, so that's not challenging.
But I guess like the adult retreats were like constantly
asking women to take off their masks and take off
their armor, and.

Speaker 7 (03:25):
Kids, we don't have to ask them at all.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
They're going to come in blazing, full guns out like
this is me bitches, And they did and it was
it was beautiful. But then I had like, you know,
I'm thinking about having another baby, and I was like, do.

Speaker 7 (03:39):
I want to have multiple children?

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Because fourteen of these motherfuckers right now is a lot.
I don't want fourteen. You're not having fourteen.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
Kids, I know, but I was like, do I have
the skill set for one more? And that was like
kind of scary midway through the treats, like I don't know,
But after I feel good.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
I feel like it was a good Yeah, we had
some really, I just feel like it was like the
best intro to this type of retreat that we could
have had. Like I'm so thankful to God and the
universe for always like giving us exactly what we need
in every chapter of our journey, because it could have
been a lot of like Type A, high strung and

(04:18):
say moms, but it wasn't. It was a bunch of
Type bees, pretty chill, mostly Type E, a little mix
of Type A because you know, you need those two
moms that came and it was really beautiful, and our
daughters finally got to have homemies on retreat and they
like finally got to have like their own little girl tribe.
So that was really cool for me to see our

(04:40):
girls like thrive in the space and just also see
that the little girls be so independent because we're on
this property alone. They literally just like took over. It
was like their own little village, their own city, and
so like they're running around at night without their parents.
It's kind of like back in the day when and
maybe within a small town and your parents would like

(05:03):
from the neighborhood, neighborhood, right, Like that's what it was.
And I think a lot of kids these days don't
really get the luxury of that, especially if you live
in the city, especially if you have type A moms.

Speaker 7 (05:11):
Especially it was the United States.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, just like there's a lot of fear and I
just I'm just so happy that those kids got that.
I'm so happy and proud of the moms for allowing
their children to do that. And I'm just I'm happy
for our girls. I'm happy for arian Luna that they
that they got that experience and that they've been wanting
that shit, and I'm just happy. I'm proud of us

(05:33):
for making that happen for them.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, and I'm just proud of the moms for agreeing
to bring their kids internationally on a plane, a shuttle,
you know, and like just do something different. And I
know for a lot of moms, some moms came with
multiple children.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
It's a lot.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
It's lots of travel with small children, and it's definitely
a lot to travel with small children to a small
town with some bitches you don't know. So I thought
that was brave and I'm looking you know, I'm looking
forward to doing that again and also seeing the little
girls like become empowered. And we were really I don't
know if we did too much of this, but like
giving them a voice, giving them an opinion, because a

(06:12):
lot of times they don't have that privilege of doing
that wherever they come from, because we're always like sit down,
shut up, you know, like there's so many things to
go on. So seeing them feel like that a voice
and seeing moms apologize to children and like just kind
of like empower them to have independence. I think that's
important and we forget that, especially as little girls. There's

(06:32):
so much fear around everything. Don't jump off of that,
don't hurt yourself. And I was just telling some of
the moms like be careful, saying be careful all the time.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah, I think women say be careful to little well,
women and men say be careful to little girls specifically
so much, and then that carries on into adulthood in
so many detrimental ways.

Speaker 4 (06:53):
It's just an internal fear that is unnecessary to trust
yourself I feel like when you have kids, it's important
to instill just the awareness of like, is this safe
for myself? Let me try it out. Like I think women, naturally,
little girls have the innate ability to uh risk what
is it called risk factor, like to weigh the risks.

(07:15):
Weigh the risks, because that's what we do in general.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
But like.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
When you're constantly telling someone to be careful, be careful,
be careful, but then it kind of sills a fear
about everything. You know, everything's scary, and like everything is
not scary, and at some point they have to leave
the house and do their own thing, and they have
to be able to have the skill set and the
confidence to weigh if this is riskier, don't even get
the fuck up out of here, which is really basic intuition.
So if you keep instilling like too much fear, it

(07:44):
kind of like removes the natural intuition that we have.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
I feel like overrides that.

Speaker 4 (07:48):
And I it's interesting that I did a mommy me
a retreat with my daughter and then a week later
my mom comes, So I'm like there's a lot of
mommy and me energy here.

Speaker 7 (08:01):
Like, God, if you can't give me a sign, just
let me know.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, well, if I can give you any advice, as
someone who already did a retreat with their mother last year,
you can actually actually this retreat, you did this your mom. Yeah, wow,
it's crazy.

Speaker 7 (08:15):
It give me some nice please.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
It is just allowing her to be a girl and
allowing her to show up with the wounds that you
already know and that you've already heard her express and
because and obviously a gentle correction, because you're the leader,
but like, I think it's important for us to not
insert our previously our previous understandings of our mother or

(08:44):
maybe the wounds that we have with our mother, and
because I think sometimes it'll shut them down. And the
whole point is to give them grace and allow them
to kind of be sovereign women here and obviously like
you're here also to maybe do some work with her
as well. And I think your mom is in a
place where she's ready to receive from you, or she's
been ready to she's already been receiving from you, but

(09:05):
just allowing her to like express in ways that maybe
already heard her and you just like don't want to
hear it, but just let her know.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
Yeah, I'm realizing I have it, I'm like, okay, you're
my mom, but also your PC a bit. And I
think it's also we have a lot of girl women
I kind of feel like in the same boat.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
Ish, So I think that's going to be interesting.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
I think there's a lot of healing that's going to
happen in this group and a lot of messages and
lessons they have for each other. So I'm looking forward
to seeing that and also just seeing my mom get
initiated into the Good Vibe Spiritual Sorority. And I think
I know honestly that it is going to be healing
for our relationship and healing for the little girl and

(09:48):
me to be able to I guess mother her in
ways and just to see her as like a girl
and not just my mom.

Speaker 7 (09:58):
So yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
It's interesting because you know, we're witchy women, so everything
means something, which honestly, every time I come and retreat
it reinforces it at times one hundredfold. So at this
point we're like twenty two million fold into and nothing
is just for no reason. But on the way here
to Costa Rica, we had four forty seven hundred bags

(10:21):
per the usual and we need more. And I was
early to the airport and I you know, if you go,
if you know lax, you can hit that TJ Max
or Marshalls Ross sequence before you go into the airport.
And I was like, let me go pick up an
extra suitcase because we're probably going to be overweight and
have to pay. And we had like a little bit

(10:41):
of time, and my mom had taken me to the airport,
which my mom never takes me to the airport. It's
usually Orlando or Uber. Anyway, she was available because of
the summertime. And I ran into Marshalls and I had
put on my jackets. I was about to go into
the airport, and I'd also smoked to blunt face because

(11:02):
I was going to the airport and it was hot.
And I went and Marshalls, I went and.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
Got it back. I got in line. I got in line.

Speaker 4 (11:08):
It was fucking long. I was like, oh my god,
this long ass line. And while I was in line,
I was like, I feel lightheaded. And I went to
text my mom, like I feel lightheaded, so maybe send
Luna in to take my spot in line. And I
started typing it and then I erace it, so I
was almost at the top and then I like, just
let her know your feel light headed. So I let
her know. I was like squatting down in line. I

(11:30):
was like drinking water. I took out to the refrigerator
in line, and I got to the cashier and I
was like, yeah, it's hot in here. I'm feeling light headed,
and he moved like a little fan in front of me,
and bitch, that was the last thing I remember. I
was literally woke up on the floor. My mom poured
water on my face and there's like three cashiers around me.
I fainted and I was like, I gotta go to

(11:52):
the airport.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
I can't faint right now.

Speaker 7 (11:54):
And I asked my mom like did I pass out?
She's like, looks fucking so scared.

Speaker 4 (11:59):
Like I look up, Bluna's looking at me, and I'm like,
oh my god, I just fucking fainted.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
In the marshalls.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
They're putting alcohol pats underneath my nose to waken me up,
and I'm like trying to get the money out my
first to pay.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
It's like.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
And they're like, do you want me to call it ambulance?
And I'm like I have to catch a flight now,
and my mom is scared shitless. So I get in
the car and text Airica're like, it just fainted.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
I'm like, what, I fainted in martials? It was kind
of scary. I was scary. I was scared for you.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
And you know, some people fainting you don't remember. But
I remember going somewhere very comfortable. I was so comfortable,
like I was taking a nap. But I kept hearing
my mom's voice to call my named Jamilla, Jamila, Jamilla, Jamilla.
And at some point I told myself that sure, Mom,
that's your name.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Answer.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
And finally I was like huh and then I like
came back. But I haven't passed out. I mean, I
think I've fainted since I was like inhaling helium balloons
when I was eight.

Speaker 7 (12:58):
No helium, bitch, nas, I never did you never did.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
NOA was in high school.

Speaker 7 (13:05):
No, I didn't compete.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
I did computer cleaner. Wow, great source.

Speaker 4 (13:11):
That was an eighth grade. It's a dark time anyway,
when she, my mom caught me, like literally, she must
have came in marshals as I was collapsing to the ground,
like She's like, you would have hit the fuck out
of the floor.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
I didn't catch you.

Speaker 4 (13:24):
And she's like, hell, do you like that since you
were a baby, And I was like, right, I was
just like I was a little bit scattered, but I
mean I was fine. I was just a combination of heat, hunger,
and highness. But I also feel like it was like
a sign into what's happening.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, a I was.

Speaker 4 (13:45):
I was overwhelmed and I was stressed, and I sometimes
do too much and without even acknowledging my own my
own things, and so I'm like, Okay, this is a sign, like, bitch,
you can keep going if you want to, but you
might fucking faint in marshals and be like, your mom's
gonna be there to catch you.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
And I think she was really happy to be there
to catch me.

Speaker 4 (14:05):
And I think if it maybe wasn't my mom's voice,
like has she not been in there to call my name,
I don't know how long I would have been gone,
because I was comfortable, real comfy, And so it was
just an interesting series of events as I walked into
the portal of Puerto into the sacred space of retreating
in the sequence of mommy and me and now she's

(14:26):
here for the first time, and you know, like I've
just been sitting and observing what that means, you know,
for us to care for each other again, even though
I'm like hyper independent in ways and like I was
taken care of myself for a very long time. So
and then I also see Luna being super hyper independent
in ways. So I don't know, It's been an interesting
series of events and I'm looking forward to seeing how

(14:49):
this weekend folds. And also like, bitch, I need to
take care of myself and I need to sell the
fuck down, and if I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed, you know,
like that's okay.

Speaker 7 (14:57):
And also didn't ask for help.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
That was a big thing.

Speaker 4 (15:00):
He was like, I almost did not text this woman,
and I would have been spirled out in Marshalls for
thirty minutes, so she would have been in the car
like with the washing ambulance pull up, not knowing it's
free literally and then be like let me go on there.
So all that to say, ask for help and check
in with yourself, and if you're not feeling well, tell someone,
because you could feign in Marshals too.

Speaker 8 (15:24):
They're gonna saint anywhere at least sure around home goods,
home goods and furniture artists and pastas moms, plenty of
moms in line that artist in pasta tomato sauce, the
most random marshals.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
If you don't, you don't get a sponsorship.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
After this pasta sauce and pasta suitcases so much, I
told them not to call the ambulance. I said, I'm fine,
I'm good. I was like, I was like, no, I was.
I wasn't even embarrassed. I was just like, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
I know. You got to the airport and I was like,
are you okay, I'm fine? Your mom is worried, and
You're like, I'm like, your mom, I'm just saw you
pass out. She's going to be.

Speaker 7 (16:02):
She like wouldn't leave the air Force.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
She's going to be.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
Because she like parked in front of the air like
in the place you're not supposed to leave her car
and just walked.

Speaker 7 (16:09):
I saw her coming.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
I saw her coming like ten times.

Speaker 7 (16:11):
I was probably.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
But yeah, I mean yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:16):
And then you know, I talked to Sylvia and you know.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
She is our friend and then astrologer here in Costa.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
Rica or would she mentor one of the first witches
we met of Costa Rica who aids us in a
lot of the work we do personally and aids us
you know, she's a practitioner and our retreat. But I
was talking to her about it, because again, nothing everything
means something. So if I pass out in Marsha's, I
can tell Sylvia and she's like, oh, you know, I know,
it's probably that's how you wanted to leave. Your body

(16:47):
is like your body needed to leave. And I was like, oh, ship,
she might have didn't need to check out for a minute,
she said, but you're doing too much.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
I'm taking a nap.

Speaker 4 (16:57):
So it was interesting. How have you about the mommy
and me? And this week?

Speaker 1 (17:04):
And I feel like retrograde is fucking the nuts? Is
it over? It's finally over? And it really was spicy
and just kind of like really rattled things inside of me,
but not like things back home and then also things here.

(17:24):
I think the mommy and me. I think every retreat
is an initiation, especially like the firsts. And that's what
I've noticed with every retreat, like with Bali, for me,
with Jamaica, with Mexico Mexico, like each one like gives
me something pretty like straightforward that I can't ignore and

(17:50):
I probably should know that by now. So this one
going in I was like, it's gonna just be a
walk in the park. You know. Obviously I knew it
was gonna be challenging, but like I wasn't prepared for
what might come up for me as a mom and yeah, yeah, yeah,
And that's what I mean, like for me as a
woman in the women's circles that we have when we start,

(18:12):
when we would create something and then we like watch
it blossom like these retreats. Definitely, we always tell the
woman when they come, like, didn't you're on retreat, but
so are we And I fucking mean that shit, that
shit is real. And so the momy and me retreat
definitely like exposed some things that I think I've been
avoiding in a motherhood and that I'm I'm happy that

(18:34):
they were exposed because now I know that, Okay, I
have to deal with these things or there will be
like reverberations later that I probably will have less control over.
So that was really great for me. But I am
glad that retrograde is the fuck over, because.

Speaker 7 (18:52):
A bitch.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
Was feeling a bit.

Speaker 4 (19:01):
A bit there's a lot of feelings feeling, you know.
I realized, like I started my period the first day
of the Mommy and Me Retreat a podcast we have.
I started my period, everybody, guess what, And now you're
starting yours the first day or week of this retreat
or whatever. And yeah, we're not exempt now from the lessons.

(19:25):
In fact that god, it's like you want to get
them first.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah. Actually, and you know, and that's why I'm glad,
Like we've always led here in this space as not
being experts of motherhood. Obviously we have done our due
diligence in our various expertises at this point, but that
doesn't mean that I'm exempt from learning and being exposed

(19:49):
to the messages and the lessons. And so I feel
like I'm happy that this we did this retreat because
I think it was really important for ire and I
and we get back home, I'm excited to to take
on a new journey with her and and yeah, so
I mean I'm excited for another vomby and the retreat

(20:09):
and in one year because I need to recover from
this one. And overall, the Costa Rica is just a human.
It's a filter. It's a filtering fucking system literally filters
things out, not just of like my my energy field,
it also filters things out of my literally physically things

(20:31):
out of my body. I'm pretty sure, ninety nine percent sure,
you guys, that I passed a parasite after I.

Speaker 7 (20:39):
Listening to make sure you call on the tea in
my podcast, I.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Drank this tea. Erasta gave me a recipe and the moment,
the moment I drank that tea, y'all, I went to
number two and a parasite came out of my fucking body.
I swear to God, I lived in the toilet. I
told you me like I said, bitch, no.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
She didn't look at she knocked on my door at
seven am.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
I immediately felt better because I felt like all swollen
and shit. So I just love that I can come
here and I can just tap into like being well
and like re center myself and reregulate my nervous system,
and that I have people around me here too that
like hold space for me, and and yeah, so it's

(21:27):
overall been good.

Speaker 7 (21:29):
It was, you know.

Speaker 4 (21:30):
It's just it gets quiet enough and still enough for
you to examine your shit, and that's something we don't
always get the privilege of doing in the States. So
so that yeah, like sometimes it feels overwhelming if there's

(21:54):
things that you haven't looked at because a bitch like me,
I'm real good at my peripherals. You know, those those
glasses the horses be wearing like this so they can't
see from the side.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
That's me.

Speaker 4 (22:05):
So I'm always grateful for Mama Jungle for checking a
bitch and saying, hey, bitch over here. And I think
if motherhood, when you miss something, it just feels so
bet wrenching, or it feels like you can't ever get
that time back, or you're like, what if I don't
If I don't fix this, then it's it could be

(22:29):
detrimental and it's not, you know, but it feels that way,
and it feels it felt really nice to gather amongst
women that you can be honest with about your shortcomings,
your guilt, your shame, and your sadness. And I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
Yeah, I appreciate this work that we get to do
and that we actually sit with mothers and that we
sit with women, and that we actually are in the field.
And that's why when I hear like rhetoric online and
like women that come from others that don't have any children, Sarah,
that have never sat in circles with mothers that have

(23:08):
never sat in circles with women that have literally never birthed,
never had anything come out of their body besides a
piece of shit or parasite.

Speaker 7 (23:18):
Or a baby like a watermelon.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
You know, Like, I just feel like, I just feel
like now, I feel like I know that I'm really
in the work with real people, and that is why
I have so much compassion and understanding of what it

(23:41):
actually takes to be a good one and what it
actually requires of us. And that is a grace, and
that is forgiveness of our bad choices, and that is
being able to sit in community with other women also
trying to do their best. And I realized that shame

(24:04):
is literally like the stealer of all joy, the stealer
of progress, the stealer of connection, the stealer of community,
the steeler of lessons, lessons of pleasure, of all of it.

Speaker 7 (24:14):
It's life of life.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
And so like, it literally does nothing for us to
shame women. It does nothing for us to shame mothers.
It does nothing for us to shame each other. And
I'm just grateful that I actually do this work and
that I get to be part of someone's story to
bettering themselves and they get to be part of mine

(24:38):
as well, like I'm not in here. Like I said,
I'm not in here just as like a leader, I'm
in here also receiving.

Speaker 7 (24:45):
And so it's no hierarchy. The good vibratory yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
So it just feels really good and affirming, especially after
coming off of like a month of just a lot
of negativity. And I'm just really grateful that we have
had a community that's been super supportive. And you know what,
I actually embrace some of the negativity because sometimes I
need to be bitch slapped and remember like, oh yeah, wait,
hold on what I do this shit. I actually do

(25:12):
this shit. I actually live this shit, So shut the
fuck up when you're talking about me or my child.
And you know, people can rage bait all they want,
they can placate to men, and a certain type of
like that red pill type of nigga or bitch, and
that's the type of karmic like legacy that you're putting

(25:36):
into you and your family and the child that you'll
eventually birth.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
And I feel bad for you because you don't even
recognize how what poison that is. You know what poison is,
and it's like it's like the ultimate sin, you know
what I mean, Like you're planting seeds, Like we all
have purpose here on earth. We're all seeds and some
capacity like spirit puts us here with bities to either

(26:01):
shift things in a positive way or do absolutely fucking
nothing at all, or spread seeds of cancer. And when
you do that for the likes, or for the attention,
or for the fucking shock factor, like you're doing nothing
for the equilibrium of the world.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
You're just sitting on a couch talking and doing absolutely
no for the women.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
But we all are witnessing a extremely fragile time in history,
especially for women, like especially in America, there is like
a regiment like the government is coming for our rights,
like they are trying to put us back in the kitchen, bitch,
and like to not contribute to our betterment and our

(26:46):
empower our empowerment, especially.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
Under the guise of trying to commit trying.

Speaker 4 (26:52):
But it's not and it's clear and I don't know
what fucking bullshit your community speaks to you or your friends.
Fuck community, like your specific close circle may not have
any is telling you that you're even pretending to believe
the bullshit. That's another thing we're seeing a lot this

(27:12):
internet shit is bringing.

Speaker 7 (27:15):
I don't want to.

Speaker 4 (27:15):
Call it spiritual psychosis. It's like social media psychosis. We
talk about spiritual psychosis and spiritually no, it's social media psychosis.
Like I didn't want to really speak on this because
I don't really give a fuck. But like the doctor
Chyanne Bryant's and the doctor Sarah Fontonots, you're not a doctor,

(27:36):
like quite literally, you're not a doctor, and you've done
I mean, I can't really speak on China. I don't
know her fucking clients or what coaching she's doing.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
But like.

Speaker 4 (27:46):
When you're not helping and you're hurting it under the
guise of social media or just for ego, like you
are spreading poison unnecessarily in a time that it is,
people are frat people really need love in community. We're
seeing people be separated from me from the truth just

(28:07):
by isolating themselves and not having real friends and not
having real love, Like you cannot heal without love. So
like coming at people and degrading people and talking down
to women, like it is just not the time for that.
Like we are portals and this is the same shit
with Kevin Samuels, Like there's an awakening that's happening with

(28:28):
women and with the womb.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
We're reconnecting to it.

Speaker 4 (28:30):
And when you subscribe to shame and hate and conflict,
it just it really goes against the grain.

Speaker 7 (28:42):
It goes against the.

Speaker 4 (28:43):
Bigger picture of what is supposed to be happening right now,
and it's detrimental. So using your voice as a weapon
and not as an aid is a cardinal sin.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
And you know what, your comment section will tell you
the kind of work you're doing up in there. Yeah,
your comment section will tell you actually who you're speaking to, Like,
are you actually speaking to women? Who is actually generally
in your comment.

Speaker 4 (29:08):
Section, it's men who have no other touch point to
have conversation or any association with women whatsoever. Arguing, rage, baiting,
talking shit is literally your only touch point that you
may even zero point five percent maybe have an opportunity
to interact with the opposite sex or women you would

(29:30):
never ever have the time of day of ever seeing
you or hearing you, So, you know, ladies and gentlemen,
because I'm a victim of this, I'd be responding to niggas,
But then I'm like, these fucking losers would never be
able to.

Speaker 7 (29:43):
Talk to me in a fucking crowded room.

Speaker 4 (29:46):
It's just like, imagine that the comment section is not
the vip it's general admission. In fact, it's the line
outside the club. And these niggas can't even get in.
In the words of Chris Brown, how are you going
to talk shit from outside the club? And the bitches
who do get in talking shit are bitches that came
in with a niggas because they bought a bottle and they're.

Speaker 7 (30:06):
Hoping to get home with them tonight on the tour bus.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
When you be forgotten, when you fix your mom to
respond to these niggas that are coming from women, remember
that these niggas could not even get next to you,
and they definitely couldn't get past the red rope spiritually.
So don't even give it time like you would walk
past them in any other given scenario, and don't give
them the pleasure of interacting with them, because the truth

(30:30):
is you're speaking English and they're speaking fucking bullshit.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
You don't speak the same language.

Speaker 4 (30:35):
And that's why I just had to realize, like arguing
with dumb people makes you a dumb person, and I
but a lot of people are and it's kind of scary,
but there's a lot of smart people too, And I
think we have to remember that what we see on
the internet is a tool to harvest our energy, our anger,
our sadness, because that's what I really see imus be

(30:57):
getting sad. Like there can't be as many dumb men.
I believe there's many dumb women. That's really the sad one,
Like women talking shit about women like bitch and only
like they're only aspiration being to be married. And it's
really interesting too, like these last two retreats, last retreat,
there is ten moms. You no, there's twelve moms. Two
of them are married this retreat. One married me. And

(31:21):
I'm like, women are not fucking with these niggas anymore.

Speaker 7 (31:25):
And it's not.

Speaker 4 (31:25):
Because women discover feminism yesterday. It's because women are not
are up to here and men are not catching up.
It's simple, and if you were a man of any
basic substance or basic common sense, you recognize it too.
And you don't even have to like, look at the statistics,
look at look at the violence against women. Who are

(31:47):
who's the culprit? It's men, sexual violence, physical violence, like
just not equal pay. It's men that have created these
systems and are hurting from them but also inflicting pain
on women and it's just and.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Then it's women upholding them, yes, and then it's women
upholding these systems, and it's just really unfortunate. So again,
these spaces are really like an energetic physical mental reset
for me and affirming the work that we do and
why it's important and why these other women, like I said,

(32:25):
like the karmic like the karmic foundation that they create
when they speak out of their mouth these words before
even having a child. I just pray, I pray that
you don't have to endure the things in which you

(32:45):
are speaking against. However, I would not be surprised. I
would not be surprised if I look up in five
years and suddenly that bitches content and I say bitch
because I call everyone a bitch number one.

Speaker 7 (32:56):
Because it's a term of endearment.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
To change, you know what, I mean, It may it.

Speaker 7 (33:03):
May may not. And you know what, she make a
radio silent and you know what.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
And I'll still give you grace because that's what I do,
because that's the type of woman I am. Because I
understand that you do not know what you do not
know until you know.

Speaker 4 (33:17):
It ain't no fake honorary degree going to give you.
I don't firsthand motherhood expect me tell you herbal life.
This has no maternal instinct fucking training. I don't think
you could sell four hundred bottles of fucking erbal life, bitch,
four hundred bottles of erber life, and that does not
qualify you at all to talk shit about motherhood if

(33:38):
you have not experienced it, Nor does it make you
a doctor in any form of fashion. It makes you
a pyramid scheme ponzu bitch like Mary Kay or I'm
even going to disrespect the Mary Kay people. Just you
know what kind of bitch I'm talking about. Anyway, I
bought this Russian cream all the way from the States,

(33:59):
even though they do have black woods out here, black woods, blackwoods.
I like a black wood and a black woman. I
like a black wood. I miss a black wood. I
miss my blackwood because you your black Oh oh, the
actual black wood black would.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
Yeah, yeah, I don't have any black woods. I don't
have any black woods as of now. I'm black woodless.

Speaker 7 (34:23):
That's the only thing about coming.

Speaker 4 (34:24):
I mean, I guess, I guess in any relationship, in
any marriage, you got to miss your partner.

Speaker 7 (34:28):
But I'm detoxing from.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Dick for a week, for thirty thirty.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
Days, which, yeah, I guess that's fine, that it's been
kind of sad.

Speaker 7 (34:40):
And then it's every year we do this. We share
a room with our kids for thirty days.

Speaker 4 (34:45):
We've see pussies, we've seen women for thirty days straight.
And then I'm like, I feel like a j feigning
for some day.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah, I don't feel that way this time.

Speaker 7 (34:58):
Give it five days, don't feel this way this time.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
I need to detox from penis and.

Speaker 6 (35:03):
Love, and then I detalk from peniss and love and
just all the things I'm I'm in a place where
I feel like I really just need to pour completely
into myself.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
And I'm sad a little bit.

Speaker 7 (35:19):
So you're sad about pouring into yourself or you're not
about that.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
I'm sad about my breakup and you're gonna talk about
your crash out? Is that my bad choice of the week?

Speaker 7 (35:27):
Okay, I forgot we had segments. We're in a jungle.

Speaker 4 (35:30):
Bad choice of the week Mine was I didn't eat
and I got high and hot and I passed out
Marshalls with towers. Mine is that I'm gonna like the backline. Okay,
I think I needed to hit that. That's let's bless
the backword. This is a jungle backwood blessing of the backwoods,
so that Erica has a smooth transition into detoxing from

(35:54):
love and Dick and then there's no crash outs in
the future. That she has ease and mindful and awareness
that she feels steadfastly without anger and minding her own
business because that's the only way to do it when
we mind our own business and think about ourselves.

Speaker 9 (36:11):
Am I's shay, I think that I in relish.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
Okay. My bachress of the week less, just get straight
to it. Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a
bad mom so good.

Speaker 7 (36:33):
I'm living.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
The badcheress of the week is that I went on
social media and I crashed out on my ex and
I commented on some of his posts and then I
reshared them in my story so that people could see
my comments on the post. And at first I checked
out with my tribe to act to see if I
was tripping. It was confirmed that I was not tripping.

(37:00):
Then I said I need to say something. Fuck this ship.
Everyone said say it, except Ela, which is shocking, right, No,
it's not. Mela has grown a lot. I think in
the past she would have told me to go for it.

Speaker 7 (37:17):
I don't think so. I don't see me.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
I don't see clear ending. I don't see anything positive
coming from this.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
See, God knows that she would have No.

Speaker 7 (37:26):
God said, listen to your friend.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
God said, Mila, you know you would have done this.
She saw the glass break. We're talking about this ship.

Speaker 7 (37:33):
What does that mean?

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Like? And in the moment it felt really good. Sh
I think it felt really good because even on a scorpiod,
I'm not very petty.

Speaker 4 (37:49):
Like.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
I don't know why I didn't get the petty Jene,
But what you think I'm petty.

Speaker 4 (37:55):
I've never seen a publicly petty like that, but I
think that I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
I figured women.

Speaker 7 (38:02):
Could be petty.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
I just thought I'm not really that petty.

Speaker 7 (38:05):
I guess.

Speaker 10 (38:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:07):
When I think, I guess when I think of petty,
I think of like prevengeing people's cars, and like you know,
doing like really like calculated things to harm or hurt somebody.

Speaker 7 (38:18):
I hope at this big age, we're not a cheating
anybody's petty.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
I think of like, yeah, revenge and calculated. Okay, you know,
I'm not really I don't really do the calculation. Okay,
this time I felt like, you know what, it's time
for me to be petty. Petty Erica is coming through
And it felt really good in the moment, but then
afterwards I had petty regrets.

Speaker 7 (38:41):
Like pretty privilege, petty privilege, petty privilege.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
So yeah, so then I told her no, and all
of our petty friends told her yes, and I was like,
why are you listening to them?

Speaker 7 (38:57):
And then guess what.

Speaker 4 (38:58):
I was here when it went out, and I was like,
I told you this wasn't going to do anything to
make anything better.

Speaker 7 (39:05):
And then she was told to apologize.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Then she said no, well I apologized. I apologize to
him directly. I apologized to whoever else needed to get
an apology who wanted one, and that was that. And
then you know, he wanted me to take the apology
a step further, and at first I agreed, and then
I said no. And you know, it has it has spawned.

(39:34):
It took me in a series of events that actually
ended up causing me more pain. So I hate that
for myself and causing him more pain, and I hate
that for us because we actually did have a really
beautiful bond, and I felt like, unfortunately this particular action
added fuel to a fire that was already kind of

(39:56):
fanning out and that I had started already kind of
to heal from. You know, I went to Mexico. I
took a trip. I got out of here because I
was like, I need to just like switch up my energy.
I had a beautiful experience out there, and then I
kind of like backstep to like five steps with that,
with that interaction, and so you know, I regret it,

(40:16):
and I'm sorry about I'm sorry for that, and I'm
disappointed at myself. Truly, I am disappointed in myself. Break
camps are not pretty and they're not perfect. And just
because you're mature doesn't mean you're gonna always do mature things.
You know, Like sometimes we that a nerd child comes
out and we're like fuck it.

Speaker 4 (40:38):
So I think, yeah, even if you're a healer and
you do retreats, like sometimes you could be toxico, you know,
that's just life, and it's the animal. Shout out to
Kenya a Progressive Love Academy. Sometimes you got to let
the animal come out its cage and rage and it's
not your higher self, but it's important to let it

(40:59):
come out because you know what, you've realized, what you
noticed in this relationship. I think too, there's a part
of you that you've caged, and the animal can be
this rageful, angry, violent, the animal, you know, bad thing,
but it also could be like just it's also like
a metaphor for when you deny yourself parts of yourself.

(41:24):
At some point, that part of you is going to
come out. You cannot deny your whole entity. It as women,
we have lots of pieces the passion and truly what
that was was the passion that had transmuted into something dark,
but you want it, you were needing to release it,
and unfortunately it came out that way because I think

(41:46):
you've been pretty fucking wu saw bitch for the last
two years and it's not sustainable. You know, like at
some point we all have a limit, whatever that is,
whatever that looks like for you. And so it's okay,
like you're not a bad person because you crash out,

(42:07):
but just crash.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
I mean, this is kind of you, you know, one
crash out every decade. Hey, I know. I just feel
like if there was someone who deserved the crash out.
It probably was like other lovers that I've had, you know,
and I feel like I have I have suppressed my
pettiness in ways, and that's why I think almost it's
important to like have a healthy relationship with your pettiness,

(42:31):
or else pet pettiness like I have, like having a
like being in relation with your pettiness, or maybe we
can reframe it as just like sacred rage and like
releasing it and not because if you don't, then you
might release it on the wrong person, you know, And like, granted,
I'm human, granted, like there's still parts of me that

(42:54):
feels like he deserved it. And but probably maybe out
on the internet.

Speaker 4 (43:03):
You don't always have to be the bigger person, I know.
I just we're not Michelle. You know, I love Michelle,
but she's come to a different place.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
She's older than that. I don't feel like I'm always
the bigger person. I don't, but we're not always going
to be. Yeah, And I guess it's just still raw.
It's still it's still like it's still like on the
surface and.

Speaker 4 (43:41):
It's okay. Your feelings are hurt. Feelings are hurt. Your
feelings are hurt, and that's Okay, you're more.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
And I guess I guess it's because like I left
him that I feel like I'm supposed to partnticipate in
the break up a certain way. And I told Neila
the other day, I was like, I feel like I
feel like I have like this like thing inside me

(44:12):
that's always trying to see both sides of the situation.
And I'm always trying to like rationalize my feelings and
see where the other person's coming from, and then I
kind of betray my own feelings. And this is why
like something like this happened, because I'm always trying to
give someone else the benefit of the doubt, or not
the benefit of the doubt, but just grace. And I

(44:34):
know I'm not perfect in it. And I know that
he might even listen to this episode and he might
be angry whatever. But I know that I'm not perfect.
I know that I should to work on. I know
this relationship exposed a lot of those things to me
because I find me this safe in a lot of ways,
and I saw how like I behaved even with it

(44:55):
in safety, you know. And I also saw how I
behave when I betra trade myself and the things that
I know I require and thought that I could just
wait and wait and wait and wait, and I just
I just I guess I just feel again like we

(45:17):
were talking about badly women feeling bad all the time.

Speaker 4 (45:20):
I heard you say that a lot, I feel bad.
I feel bad, and then like stop saying And I
know that.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
I know that we as women are constantly like feeling
bad and feeling like we need to like shrink our
feelings or our needs. And it's something I have to
work on. I have to work on because I feel
like I've been addicted to this idea of wanting love

(45:47):
and wanting partnership and and at this point, like I
have this, I have had this feeling and probably just
because I'm just fresh off a breakup that I don't know,
like I don't know if like marriage is marriage or
like forever union it's for me. I don't know if

(46:09):
I have the capacity to really love someone in an
unconditional way long term. I don't know if I have
the wherewithal to move through life with someone and grow
with them in ways where I feel like unhappy for
extended periods of time. And so I'm just like, does

(46:32):
that unqualify me as a wife because I mean, we've
done it.

Speaker 7 (46:36):
You've done it here, you're still here. This doesn't always.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
Feel but it's different because we are able to take
a lot of space if we need that. We don't
live in the same.

Speaker 4 (46:44):
High school but not I mean, we are allowed to
take space, but we're not. We're I mean we do
live in the same hole because we would maybe kill each.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Other in the same bed and yeah, the same space.
Like there's like I feel like a special gene people
have that I lack. I don't think that's not but like, like,
and I'm just thinking about, like my early on instinct
around marriage, my early on instinct around partnership has always been,
I don't want to be married. My early instinct was

(47:12):
I want to have multiple lovers. I love love and
I love being in love, but like I don't I've
never met someone that has been able to activate all
my chakras at once. And like I think about your
you know, with with Kenya and like our episode with
her around like finding different lovers that because it's it's

(47:35):
impossible to find someone that can activate you know me mentally,
you know, stimulate you sexually, stimulate your creativity, stimulate safe,
all these different things, and I don't know. It sounds pessimistic,
but I just don't know, like that's my calling in
this life. It's not like I'm not going to experience love.

(47:57):
But I don't know. Maybe I'm just in the midst
of a breakup and feeling this way, but I just
don't know if like I'm built for that shit. I
feel like I'm built for other shit. And love just
continuously breaks my heart, and in this capacity, like I

(48:19):
kind of like broke my own heart because I was
with someone that was actually a really good person and
did nothing to me. And I've never been in the
relationship like that. I've never been in a relationship. IM
always baking up with niggas who are like cheat on
me severely, And I want to say, this person do
anything to me in the regards of like it was different,

(48:39):
you know, And I don't know, can I hit that? Yeah,
it's not talking the blood. I'm not.

Speaker 7 (48:46):
I'm trying to get like to get it off.

Speaker 4 (48:48):
I feel like guilt feels the patriarchy. I feel like
guilt feels the patriarchy are tippy toeing around its sounding
diplomatic and the little like being delicate about men's feelings
and ego, and I think that has genuinely fueled the patriarchy.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
And I was pretty fucking straightforward a lot, but then
I just hoped betraying my feeling around what I knew
that I wanted. But here's the things that I wasn't
nice about what I wanted at times.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
And one of the things in the Progression Love Academy
and one of the things in life that I've learned
is like, no one's doing anything to you. We choose
to take things personally. And sometimes people are trying to
do things to you, yes, but it's up to you
whether or not you let to penetrate. And the truth is,
even when people are doing things directly to you, it's
because of something they have with themselves. And I think

(49:43):
it's important for you to understand and women to understand
just because a man is not targeting you and punching
in the face or calling you a bitch or whatever, like,
some things.

Speaker 7 (49:59):
Are just not compative.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
Sometimes your needs are just not meant and that person
can't meet you there because that's not who that person is.
And it's not someone doing something to you, rather it's
you doing something to yourself.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
And I think that's why I was mad. That's why
I'm mad at myself because I knew that early on
enough that I could have left earlier and we both
could have preserved the integrity of our bond. And because
like I do love him and I do like him,
you know, like and maybe at some point in the

(50:36):
future that can be something, or maybe it won't. But
like I think it's just I'm mad at myself a
for stepping out of my character and going and going
ape shit publicly, even if it was for twenty five
minutes that the post was up. And I guess I'm

(51:01):
in a season of truly like I want to honor
my intuition completely, like the first time, not the second time,
not renegotiating what my higher self told me, not putting
off what my higher self told me, Like no, no, no.

Speaker 11 (51:19):
I'm gonna make I'm gonna hold myself to that promise.
But like it might maybe like in a year, it'll
like it'll just take a year for that promise to materialize.
It's like, no, the moment that I feel something that
is not in alignment with who I know myself to be,
because truly, like I know that my body tells me
first in every aspect of my life, whether that's what

(51:41):
I'm eating, what I'm ingesting, who I'm putting in my body,
how I'm feeling, and like, like, I had so many beautiful,
beautiful moments with this person, life changing moments that like
I'll never forget, but there are also moments that I
knew was.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Like this, this doesn't feel all the way right, and
I think perhaps like he felt that too, and.

Speaker 10 (52:06):
Maybe you can't admit that right now, or maybe you can,
But I just I'm mad at myself because like I
think both of us are good people.

Speaker 7 (52:20):
It's okay, you're a good person. This does not change that.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
But I felt like a really bad person. And I
said early on into this relationship, I.

Speaker 7 (52:37):
Even read back and read in my journal that.

Speaker 5 (52:39):
I hope I don't fuck this up because he's a
good person. And it's more so like I hope I
don't fuck myself up because I'm also a good person.
I hope I can listen to myself. And it's like,
even after all the work.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
I've done, like this love shit for me is hard,
and I'm tired. I'm tired. I don't want to like
meet anyone else. I don't want to reduce myself. I
just want to I have a lot of lovers.

Speaker 7 (53:16):
I just want to give it a little bit a
couple of facts.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
I just want to be a home for life.

Speaker 12 (53:23):
And and I when I say how, I just mean
like a woman that is just free, free, And that
doesn't mean to just frsee my body, because I can't
even do that at this point in my journey.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
But like I just I'm just fucking tired, man. And
I think I'm also like grieving the fact that I
don't know if I'm gonna like have any more kids.
And I know that like whatever's for me.

Speaker 7 (53:55):
I know people are like, but I.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
Was four years good God, But like I gain and
knowing what's in my body, what my intuition is telling you.
I've always been on the fence about it and just
really feels like Erica, especially with this mommy and me retreat.
This is this is this? This treat this relationship like
this is it meaning my relationship with my daughter. Treat

(54:20):
this relationship like this is your last fucking opportunity and
chance to really pour in and give everything you can here,
you know, and which is beautiful and I love so anyway,

(54:41):
I'm I'm I am really grateful to be here with
a lot of other women because I'm not alone in
this feeling. I know I'm not. But this has been hard.
It's been hard, and hm hmm. Life be lifing and
life keeps going and there's always more and I know that.

(55:03):
And you know, it's so easy for me to offer
people advice and guidance, but sometimes it's just so hard
for me to follow my own and I know that's human,
but bitch, I'm ready to follow my own advice. I
am ready to listen completely to myself and say no

(55:26):
to like even good men that come to me that
just aren't right, you know, Like I'm ready to I
can do this. Then I can do anything. I have
like said goodbye to so many different men that a
maybe we're good or bad. And I've experienced a lot
of pain, even with my child father, and like it's

(55:49):
I'm just and a lot of the things is because
I've betrayed myself and I'm not doing that shit no more.
I'm not hurting anybody else in the process because I'm
not listening to myself. And yeah, I'm done crying on
this episode as well.

Speaker 4 (56:09):
Okay, I mean life you know, one thing's been consistent
through the eight and a half years of this podcast.
The journey is going to journey and it gets hard
so that you can crack open and that you could
see things and it's not linear, you know, like even.

Speaker 7 (56:30):
You're saying, like this is it, you know, giving all
you've got?

Speaker 4 (56:35):
Like generally that's our hope, right in parent had that
were always giving it all we got, And I mean
generally it's just not always true. It's like it's a journey.
Sometimes you don't have a whole lot to give. That's
the truth, and that's okay. And you know, it's so
interesting that you're expressing that because like in the beginning
of this retreat, I was like I've been feeling guilty,

(56:58):
like maybe I haven't given enough, Like maybe I'm not
as like good of a mom as I thought, or
like do I really need to be having another kid?
Like is like am I even good at the one
that I have right now? You know, we've talked pretty
honestly about the amount of time and energy and obsession

(57:19):
and delusion that good moms and you know, our businesses
have required and how passionately we you know, pursued that
and how it's inevitably impacted the time and energy that
we've given our children. And I think times I look
back and like that we can never get back, and

(57:40):
that really like just scares the shit out of me.
And I'm just like, you know, the responsibility of growing
a human and looking back and saying, like, you know,
two years flew by, and maybe the things I did
or did.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Not do, like how is that going to affect them
long term?

Speaker 4 (57:58):
And if you've done everything in your power, And it's
just like even when you plan motherhood, I plan that
Luna would know how to read when she was too
and know two languages and never eat meat and always
were eat organic, and like I had all these big
plans that I just haven't gone just that way because
that's just it hasn't gone that way. Not that it's

(58:18):
not possible because moms do it all the time, or
it's not sustainable, but like, just like I think sometimes
what I've realized is like accepting you're doing the best
that you can with what you got at the time
you have. We can always reevaluate and readjust and like
giving yourself grace, Like giving yourself grace. You know, we're

(58:40):
all rediscovering the need to mother ourselves, pick ourselves up
like babies, hold us, like say it's okay, Like no
matter how your child acts, you're going to embrace them.
And I think sometimes even in adulthood, subconsciously we're acting
out because we're waiting for someone to tell us it's
okay that you've acted out, you know, And that's ourselves,

(59:04):
you know, ultimately, Like you spoke about this addiction to
love or relationships, like there's a void that you're like
because you have so much love, you have so many friends,
you have like a.

Speaker 7 (59:19):
Rich life. I know that because I'm right next to it.
I see it.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
I've just I'm thinking, I've always been addicted to boys.
I've always had a boy addiction all the time, like
since I was young, and like I've learned to find
empowerment in it and I've learned to like I've learned
to guide it more and I've learned too. But maybe
it's it's not just boys. It's where it is. It's love.
It's like the security of knowing that I have someone

(59:47):
that I even if I can't rely on him, holy,
I can like rely on him a little bit because
that's what my Dad gave me, give me a little bit.
It was enough that it made me feel like I
had something, you know, And.

Speaker 4 (59:59):
Well, it's also probably the other parts that weren't of
the parts he didn't give you. You still as girls
we want that you got a little bit. But the
truth of the matter is at your core even now,
you wanted the whole thing, because women want the whole thing.
Even as girls, we want the whole thing. I see

(01:00:19):
it in the gand mommy, Marri Tree. We all want
the love and attention. And now you're still you're still
seeking that from one hundred and ten person.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
You have to believe you can have the whole thing.
You have to believe that you can. And I think generally,
like we've also been fed this thing consistently too, that
you're not going to find the whole thing. You're not
going to find the whole thing, so you might as
well settle you're not going to find the whole thing.
Even people in happy relationships say that, And because generally
there is like truth to it in some capacity, you know, like.

Speaker 4 (01:00:50):
You can find the whole thing, Like okay, you can
find the whole thing. You literally can find the whole thing.
Will you find a perfect person there you think that
everyone finds the whole thing?

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Is like, do you think every person in this lifetime's
purpose is to find the whole thing? So could it
possibly be that I am not meant to find the
whole thing in this lifetime?

Speaker 4 (01:01:09):
It could be, but it's not up to you to
say it's not. It's not up to you to claim
and pro and proclaim, like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
What if your spirit kind of knows it?

Speaker 4 (01:01:20):
Generally, every time you try to like negotiate those things
out because it sounds nice and that's what people say,
and it makes you feel more comfortable, like you then
continuously get disappointed because you kind of know, like that's
not the deal this.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
Time proclaiming that I think there's it could be two.

Speaker 7 (01:01:37):
There's two things.

Speaker 4 (01:01:38):
Maybe you do feel that way, but we also know
that how we feel changes, what we experience changes, where
we're at changes. I think it's more important, and this
is just like an all around the thing. It's more
important right now and this time, especially right now, that
we begin to reframe the things that we proclaim. Even intuitively,

(01:02:00):
I'm pretty sure the government's evil and we're all gonna
implode because everybody there's a lot of shit that's going back.

Speaker 7 (01:02:08):
But what I choose to believe is that this is.

Speaker 4 (01:02:13):
A moment in time that is going to crash and
brown and crack open something very beautiful, something very loving,
or people or the humanity. Humanity restores itself and it's
kind to one another and loving. I even before Orlando,
like you know, I wasn't pressed. I don't even like
I said, I wanted to get married, but like it's not,

(01:02:34):
it's just I think it's rather.

Speaker 7 (01:02:36):
Just understanding that we don't know what's next.

Speaker 4 (01:02:41):
We don't know, we don't know, but I'd like to
believe in the best possible, best case scenario. I've been
gone for a month. I could think of Orlando, are
we doing this?

Speaker 7 (01:02:50):
Isn't that? But I just can't a. He hasn't shown
me that.

Speaker 4 (01:02:54):
But just in general, you may or may not find lovers,
a love, the one, a marriage.

Speaker 7 (01:03:00):
More babies. But the truth is shit, we don't know
where I'm at.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
I'd never thought I'd be the only bitch at the retreat.

Speaker 7 (01:03:05):
Mary.

Speaker 4 (01:03:06):
I'm still practicing saying Mary. It sounds sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah,
that's me. I'm the wife. Because it's not something I
truly believe, and I still is taking me time to
believe it in my body. But I just say to say,
first of all, not finding one lever for the rest
of is not bad. You have a lot of love,

(01:03:27):
That's what I'm telling you, like romance, if you wanted
to attract and manifest help like you can. You can
satisfy different parts of you're with different people, And that's
okay too when there's love and there's communic communication and maturity.
But it's truly like, just be careful what you say,

(01:03:49):
because anything is possible.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
I haven't said that a lot publicly because I feel
shame around the feeling of it.

Speaker 7 (01:03:55):
Why But that's like, why do you feel shame about that?

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Because I feel like I feel like I'm supposed to
feel I'm supposed to have this like bright side right side.
I'm supposed to have this like optimistic perspective around life.

Speaker 7 (01:04:11):
Having is not a prize.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
I'm not saying it's a prize, but I'm saying that, like,
it's this optimistic perspective that all women want to hold
on to, that like in this lifetime they're going to
find the one. And if you don't and if you
don't agree with that then somehow like you're calling in
some sort of negativity around love, and for me, it's
like I'm still battling with like what it means, but

(01:04:35):
like it's kind of always been there for me, and
it could be a wound, for sure, I'm sure that
it's definitely there's wound there. But then there's also this
feeling of like that idea has also imprisoned me in
ways and like made me feel constricted and made me
like and perhaps not perhaps the men I choose also

(01:04:56):
have done that, But I guess maybe I'm coming to
terms with this idea that that can be a positive
thing and that I maybe have yes, always kind of
felt it and it was and yes, it was affirmed
as well by Sylvia shout out to Sylvia years ago,

(01:05:16):
and that has kind of been the theme for me
and and my distraction. I think it's I think it's
been a distraction for me. So anyway, I'm open to
whatever God wants for me. I'm open to whatever the

(01:05:38):
universe wants for me and spirit wants for me. I'm
just I think I'm also just really deeply examining my
natural instincts about myself and like not trying to negotiate them,
Like I said, not trying to like, but.

Speaker 7 (01:05:50):
You want love, you love love.

Speaker 1 (01:05:51):
I do. It's not that I'm saying I want. I'm
not a woman that will experience love or deep love
or like long term relationships. I'm just gonna I did
say I was gonna be homeing. But but and even
in that space, like so I can't help but be
a lover. I can't help but want to pour into someone.
I can't help but want to nurture. I can't help
but want to receive love. And I feel exactly and

(01:06:12):
and want and want like you know, offerings delivered to
my altar and then delivering my overflow to my lover,
like there's very well inherently always I will always exist
within me and I'll always give that. I just moreso think,
I mean, like with one.

Speaker 4 (01:06:28):
Person morning that morning, maybe what it looked like mourning,
mourning this this this patriarchal programming, the idea of how
it's supposed to show up. Yes, we need to realized,
like removing the shackles of the illustration, like like throw
away the whole paper. It's blank. Everything is blank. Everything

(01:06:51):
that we know was made up and created by someone
the rules, what's bad, what's good, what's publicly acceptable?

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:06:59):
It's all created by man, and we're all much greater
than that, Like we're having a human experience, but like
what you subscribe to is your own and you are
only in prison to your own ideas. Literally wing with
the children, I realize, like they don't give a fuck,
and it's because they're literally just going by their own

(01:07:22):
human design, which we're all supposed to do, but we
socialize out of that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
That is like, that's one of the biggest takeaways I
think I got from this retreat.

Speaker 4 (01:07:30):
The politically correctness is.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
Just how That's what I'm saying, Like trusting your first feeling,
trusting your first thoughts, saying it, that is it. That
is it?

Speaker 4 (01:07:41):
This is lovingly but saying and not just saying it,
taking action on whatever you said, and not letting it fester,
because then you tell the universe that everybody else's feelings
are more important than your own, and then you don't
know your own feelings because you've ignored them for so long.
Well and not even more important, well, yes, more important,
but thankstart question whether they're valid or they're important, Like

(01:08:02):
if they're valid if that they're real and if they're
truth and if they're like they're actually the truth or
can there be two truths?

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
Why the fuck did God make me a scorpio in October?
I feel like the libra in me is it's fucking
with my libra.

Speaker 4 (01:08:18):
I mean, you know, and then you just like you
have to do I have to be so fucking diplomatic
and aware.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
I'm like you, if you give me the problem, baby.

Speaker 7 (01:08:29):
I'm gonna go back and forth with you. I'm gonna
find the pros and the cons.

Speaker 4 (01:08:32):
A hunt forever infinity it is, and I'm and raised
by a libra. You have to learn how to conquer it.
I feel like this is the part. This is the
thing about our humanness is that you have to learn
to accept parts of you.

Speaker 7 (01:08:46):
And that goes to say, like you know, it's like
it just going against yourself is fucking dumb.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
Is that physically that the approbation.

Speaker 4 (01:08:58):
That's affirmation, Going against yourself is fucking dumb? And then
in fine print turney physically, emotionally, spiritual, Yeah, pussly and pussly.
I know it's physically, but it's pussily encompasses all of
those because It's like your intuitiveness going against yourself is
fucking done.

Speaker 7 (01:09:19):
Dumb.

Speaker 4 (01:09:21):
It's dumb, and honestly, it creates poison in your body
that can, if it's faster too long, creates physical ailments.
And we already know everything else is already out to
get us, you know, in the worldly realm. So water
yourself spiritually, and by water yourself, I mean, do what
the fuck you need to do for you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
Yeah, we don't have our Tarot cards. Get Yeah, maybe
i'll show everybody my boobs. Okay, it's Tarot time.

Speaker 4 (01:09:55):
Oh wow, I'm excited for the share of time. Tarot

(01:10:21):
time in the jungle.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
Hmmm. And it's almost breakfast at the retreat. The girls
just did yoga. Yeah, they'll be done informant, they'll be.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
Joining us up here shortly. Taro, What message, not quite?
What message do you have for me and the collective?
What is it that I need to hear in this moment?
What is it that we need to hear as women
in this moment that are going through transitions through change,

(01:10:52):
for trusting their inner guidance, trusting their voice, trusting their bodies.

Speaker 1 (01:10:57):
What is it that we need to hear?

Speaker 4 (01:11:03):
Okay, well, oh, well, this one's one facing me. There's two,
there's one underneath it. Okay, huh, Temperance and the King
of Pentacles.

Speaker 1 (01:11:14):
This is gonna be good.

Speaker 7 (01:11:16):
How are you? You're gonna get you my computer?

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
Do you know what? You can say? What the fuck
you want about Taro? Shout out to mahogany Taro. We
love you. But honestly, y'all can say.

Speaker 4 (01:11:26):
We have like a ninety nine out of a like
it always hits and you would think we would plan
plan this ship.

Speaker 1 (01:11:34):
You know, we don't plan this ship.

Speaker 7 (01:11:36):
Don't we barely plan anything.

Speaker 4 (01:11:38):
I can't even believe. I mean, the fact that we've
come this far is good, godsend, like.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
That's spirit. Like, you can say what you want about Taro.
But these these cards have guided me in ways and
affirmed me in ways that are so specific.

Speaker 7 (01:11:52):
It was Temperance on top of that one, right, that are.

Speaker 1 (01:11:56):
So specific, that are so acute, that are so like
not what I want to fucking hear sometimes, But I
have really really helped and guided me. Have I listened
all the time now, but either even still here we go.

Speaker 4 (01:12:22):
Temperance. Temperance is the card for beginning, bringing balance, patience,
and moderation into your life. You're being invited to stabilize
your energy and to allow the life force to flow
through you without force or resistance. It's time to recover
your flow and get back to your life. Get back,
get your life back in order and balance. This card

(01:12:45):
calls on you to remain calm even when life feels
stressful or frantic. Maintain an even temperament, and manage your emotions.
You have learned to keep composed and stressful situations little
things don't get to you thanks to your seemingly abundant
source of patience for your respect for balance and tranquility
is what will help you achieve and experience fulfillment in
your life. Temperance asks you to take the middle path

(01:13:09):
and accommodate all perspectives. Now is not the time to
be highly opinionated or controversial. Be the peacemaker and take
a balance and moderate approach having avoid social media yeah
maybe not, maybe we've listened to me.

Speaker 1 (01:13:22):
Not exposed.

Speaker 4 (01:13:22):
Don't avoiding avoiding any extremes, ye, don't crash out. Basically
include others and bring together diverse groups of people to
create harmony and cooperation thereat. By working together, you will
collectively leverage the right mix of talent, experiences, abilities, and skills.
Thank you, there's alchemy with Temperess. This tarot is about blending, mixing,

(01:13:46):
and combining diverse elements in a way that creates something
new and even more valuable that its separate part. Blending
can take on many forms h than it's separate elements,
in a way that creates something Oh wait, sorry, this
tarot card is about blending, mixing, and combining diverse elements
in a way that creates something new and even more
valuable than its separate parts. Blending can take on many forms,

(01:14:08):
for example, a blended family and artists who blends different
materials or techniques, and a bartender who makes this new
and exciting cocktails, or a chef who combines different cuisine
and cooking styles. And then we had the King of Pentacles,
which we know is that money, honey.

Speaker 1 (01:14:26):
And when I do, I will become rich the.

Speaker 7 (01:14:28):
King of Pentacles.

Speaker 4 (01:14:28):
I mean honestly, I honestly think going with yourself create like.

Speaker 7 (01:14:35):
Is what makes you rich.

Speaker 1 (01:14:36):
Everything you want then can flow to you, the king.
There's no blocks.

Speaker 4 (01:14:40):
You're doing what you're supposed to do, which is whatever
you want. This King is a faithful provider. He uses
his ambition and confidence to create wealth for himself and
others in I Can't read and others, and generates his
self worth from what he has accumulated and can share
with others. He is also a fatherly figure who provides
others with advice, guidance, and wisdom, especially in financial work

(01:15:04):
related matters. When the King of Pentacles appears in tarro reading,
you're a confident and successful at attracting and managing wealth.
Not only do you identify opportunities for growth and success,
but you also draw upon your self discipline and control
to manage your wealth and investor wisely for the long term.
It indicates that you can translate your vision into something tangible, practical,

(01:15:25):
and often very lucrative. You are the ultimate business owner.
You do not merely come up with ideas and help
for the best. You work hard to map out your
plan of attack, gather your resources, and manifest your goals,
often with tremendous success. You are like King Midas. Everything
you touch turns to gold, and that's the thing you've

(01:15:45):
nursed that like, look all the things we have nursed.
We're sitting in our manifestation we are at our twenty
six twenty second retreat. We are with our children. We
have ideas and then we do them, which my mother
is here. We are literally changing.

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
You're healing your lineage.

Speaker 7 (01:16:03):
We're in real time and or really.

Speaker 1 (01:16:07):
Look at I'm looking at my little my daughter and
Costa Rica in a mumu be dazzling my iPhone case
in Costa Rica happily rested and moisturized.

Speaker 4 (01:16:18):
I mean, honestly, well, the women are completing yoga class
behind me in the jungle, in this beautiful property that
is ours for the next six days.

Speaker 1 (01:16:29):
We're black, We're free, and we're fine. We're fine as hell,
and we have powers everything we can and we have
and we have we have accountability too, and we have love,
and we have our voices. We have each other. And
I'm grateful, and I'm going to thank you for seeing
me through this chapter and thank you for being there

(01:16:53):
for me and being my friend. And I appreciate your
wisdom and listening.

Speaker 7 (01:16:57):
And then I only have to take advice from me.

Speaker 1 (01:17:00):
True, it's not true. I feel like you like, think
of instrument.

Speaker 7 (01:17:04):
I'm like, look somebody else telling it.

Speaker 1 (01:17:05):
It can't be for me. No, that's not true. I
listened to your advice. I just think that I think
that it's like you, like you always say when a
woman is in love, it's hard for them to hear,
you know. And I think that's just people in general,
women in general, And like I think because also there's
something our spirit intuitively knows that we need to like

(01:17:29):
go through in whatever situation that maybe that other person
isn't aligned with. However, they have a better they have
a zoomed out view of it. So it's like two
truths battling each other. He always has to go through it,
you know. And so these cards are very timely. And
then there's one on the floor. Should we read that.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
One King is Swords. I have it right here, darling.
The King is Swords is a symbol of intellectual power
and authority, and has the courage and intellect to achieve
all that he desires. When this card and a tarot reading,
you are in your power, ruling from a place of
authority and respect. You stand firm in your truth and
express yourself with deep conviction. As a result, others pay

(01:18:10):
attention to which you have to say. The King of
Swords indicates that you have a clarity of mind and
can perceive the truth. So it is up to you
to take the lead with providing an objective point of
view and making decision based on impartial judgment. You are
a well positioned You're well positioned to judge your situation
appropriately and identify any limiting behaviors getting in the way.

(01:18:32):
You're also masterful at keeping your emotions in check while
you while you draw upon your intellectual power and mental
clarity to ascertain the truth. You cut straight to the
point and get to the heart of the matter of
maximum efficiency and impact. While you may worry that you
are not being particularly caring or sympathetic with others, this

(01:18:53):
detachment is that you need most right now, Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:18:55):
My god, not being nice, feeling not being nice, but
not feeling bad.

Speaker 4 (01:19:01):
The King of Stars encourages you to use your logic
and intellect to navigate the path ahead. You will need
to make firm and well researched decisions and stay fair
in your dealings with others. You need to be able
to take any situation, look at it with total impartiality,
and then come to balance an insightful decision.

Speaker 1 (01:19:21):
Got it? Thanks?

Speaker 3 (01:19:25):
Yeah, cards have spoken, My dear, I'm grateful I'm grateful
for you. I'm grateful for this every time we do this,
and like I can't believe we've done this, and also
we're doing it and it's not I know, we're in it,
so we forget, but like it's a big deal and
we're doing big things, and like our kids get to

(01:19:46):
see us do it, even if they don't always act
like they care, they care. They're listening, they're watching, they're
manifesting with us, and we're doing a good job.

Speaker 4 (01:19:56):
And I'm proud of you and deserve love. You have love,
you are love, you are supported. You know, We've built
a lot of things, but most importantly is our friendship.
And without our friendship, all of this would not be possible.
And I'm grateful for this, this covenant and this relationship.
And it's not always easy, you know, it's been a lot.

(01:20:21):
It's been a hard three years and I think that's
just it's the journey.

Speaker 7 (01:20:26):
You know, we're coming to it. We're coming up on
nine years of this world.

Speaker 4 (01:20:33):
We're coming up on nine years of this but like,
look look what we've built, bitch, I don't know, Look.

Speaker 7 (01:20:37):
What we've built.

Speaker 4 (01:20:38):
And twenty two times, I'm really proud of us, and
I couldn't. We could not have done this with anyone
else except each other, like we were supposed to be
here like and that's the biggest thing. Even in my relationship,
even when I'm going through things, one of the biggest
things is like spirit didn't bring me this far just

(01:21:00):
to get this far, our intuition has built all the ships,
like Kim, Sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:21:09):
Maybe maybe it is true. Though once it's up, it stuck,
like Cardi B said my wordsmith.

Speaker 4 (01:21:20):
To Kim Kardashian party, and I hope so, I hope
I was good at it.

Speaker 7 (01:21:28):
But yeah, this is special.

Speaker 4 (01:21:30):
This is special work, and I know there's there's been
a lot of heart in it. And I'm grateful and
are magical woman together apart individually, in anything that we
do in this outside of this, like everything we touch
is magic because that's just our power. We don't have
to worry about that. And there's something safe in knowing that.

(01:21:51):
And remember that time at Joshua Tree where I cried
because no one was coming and saved me.

Speaker 7 (01:21:56):
No one still is coming to save me.

Speaker 4 (01:21:59):
And and we've saved ourselves though, just by creating a
space that we could do this, just by creating a
space where.

Speaker 1 (01:22:05):
We could be honest.

Speaker 4 (01:22:05):
And even if it's weird and a lot of people
are listening, it's doing something like the audio, the truth matters,
and the truth is not always perfect or pretty. And
I respect you for being fearless in this journey with me,
because it wouldn't have been it wouldn't have worked without
the honesty. So like being honest with yourself and me

(01:22:32):
being honest with myself, and like saying the thing even
with each other, like even in relationships, like that's a
threat and it's hard, but like it's necessary, and like
I matter, You matter, Like our feelings matter, even if
they don't make sense to anybody else, and to each
other even you know, it's like trust trust that, like

(01:22:54):
it's gotten us far. And that's the one lesson I
can say I could take from this, is like the
shit life really is magical. We literally can save ourselves.
We can and design it however we want, and like
that looks you know, whatever we want can happen.

Speaker 1 (01:23:12):
So just remember that, Like I am proud of myself.
I might not be perfect in my exit, but I'm
proud of myself and I'm proud of my ability to
acknowledge my wrongdoings and adjust and fix and maybe not

(01:23:36):
on everyone's timeline, but I'm aware.

Speaker 4 (01:23:40):
Yeah, and sometimes we're too aware. It's fucking annoying. I
wish I could be a dumb, petty bitch. Yeah, annoying yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:23:49):
When I crashed out, I was like, Oh, this is
what this feels like. People do this a lot, like weekly,
like daily, monthly. What does that feel like in their body?
Because for me it felt like invigorating. I was like,
it's a bump.

Speaker 7 (01:24:05):
Shut up, this Patty is the new cocaine.

Speaker 1 (01:24:10):
Whoa, this could be okay? And I crashed around the
worst ever where it's Amy Scorpio. Oh my god, the patty.
Calm down. It's hard.

Speaker 7 (01:24:23):
I saw it happen in real time.

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
I was like, oh my god. I felt like I
was like and I was. I saw.

Speaker 4 (01:24:29):
I was like, okay, okay, I'm gonna go to this
draw now I'm gonna walk away.

Speaker 1 (01:24:33):
He just shook me in the bed. She literally shook
like this slap.

Speaker 7 (01:24:41):
I felt good.

Speaker 1 (01:24:41):
I'm not gonna lie. I was like, I needed to
do that.

Speaker 7 (01:24:44):
It wasn't like, it wasn't violent.

Speaker 1 (01:24:45):
Told him it wasn't violent.

Speaker 4 (01:24:48):
Oh my god, the fucking drama. Oh my god, bitch,
I'm barely shook you. It was very gentle. You can't
hand You couldn't handle much. You have hard like you
have hard hands.

Speaker 7 (01:25:00):
I hurt you.

Speaker 1 (01:25:01):
I mean you just like you have aggressive hands. Like
when you waxed me that one I'll never forget. I
was like it was eight years eight years ago. You
even bruised your friend Shawnie's back with your hands. Those
hands are aggressive.

Speaker 4 (01:25:18):
You weren't even there. Yeah, it's getting gossip for I
get eleven year old when you climbed up on me
and Coachella that one time.

Speaker 7 (01:25:25):
We were in a fight.

Speaker 1 (01:25:26):
Oh, speaking of which, congratulations we're going to Coachella next year.
If you understanding good terms, you gotta keep watching, because
if you haven't tuned in, I want to encourage you
right now to go back and listen to our epic
Momchella episodes. They're epic, and there's one coming up in
about eight months.

Speaker 7 (01:25:46):
Okay, it's gonna be fast. It's gonna be here tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (01:25:48):
So and I think I need it. I need a
mom Cella episode. I need to do Molly and alcohol.

Speaker 4 (01:25:56):
Should just say when we take an ecstasy and mushrooms
at one time.

Speaker 1 (01:26:00):
Maybe we needed to read you know what, I would
like to read that, but.

Speaker 4 (01:26:02):
That sounds crazy with golf carts involved and a driver
like a caddie. Yeah okay, yeah maybe then because that
would be we need caretaking. We need we need caretakers.
We do need caretakers. That's what rich people have to do, right,
I mean that's the staff of.

Speaker 1 (01:26:20):
One of my investments. When I really hit it.

Speaker 7 (01:26:23):
When you go rock star mode.

Speaker 4 (01:26:25):
But if she will to light candles in my house
at night, upon bring me any food, any juice, the
come down like massage, steam rooms, Yeah, and caretakers.

Speaker 7 (01:26:35):
What do you need?

Speaker 1 (01:26:36):
Like not just like assistance, I mean like caretaker. I
don't want you to interfere much like to stand from
afar like thirty feet away. Maybe I don't want to
see you, but like anytime to be like if you
see about to pass out, you come in and you
Is that the entourage? Is that?

Speaker 4 (01:26:50):
What was the White Rappers and ge is like basically
caretaking because they'd be fucking honey, then you gotta go.

Speaker 1 (01:26:56):
We do definitely. I think they're waiting for us, whereas
everybody I think you're still on Yoka okay.

Speaker 4 (01:27:05):
Anyway, uh, being aware, intuitive woman that listens to herself,
it's powerful. Doing it together is really really powerful, supercharged, supercharged.

Speaker 7 (01:27:22):
It's not always easy, but it's powerful. And that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:27:27):
That's all I got, Felks, that's it. I'm excited to
supercharge my powers within women here. If you want to
supercharge your powers, make sure you check out the Goodbye Retreat,
follow the retreat, join the newsletter so you know when
our twenty twenty seven retreats are dropping.

Speaker 7 (01:27:43):
And if you.

Speaker 1 (01:27:44):
Loved this episode, please give us a little heart. I
cried you please you could do is fucking subscribe.

Speaker 7 (01:27:51):
Basically, we do this for free.

Speaker 1 (01:27:52):
We have a huge word in the middle of a
retree right now and this is literally free all and
you get all this fun, all our business, all this
good shit. And so if you want to just you know,
give moms their flowers, then join our discord, join our Patreon.
So go to go to patreon dot com slash Good Moms,
Bad Choices. Ten dollars a month. You get all of
our episodes early. You get access to our discord community,

(01:28:14):
which really means you get to be in deep conversation
with us all the time in real time with our community.

Speaker 4 (01:28:20):
I know, last night I was talking to someone and
she was like, I was, you know, talking about at dinner.
She's like, you don't understand, Like I've never seen women
be so free and honest. No, she's like just about everything,
and it's it's medicine. And she was like, and listen
to you when I run in my ears, and I'm like,
she's damn, I'm whispering in your ear in the morning.

Speaker 1 (01:28:40):
She said the same thing, but she also said specifically
about such sex. Oh yeah, And I thought how powerful
that that is that we that we get to do that.
And I thought about even how probably more honest I
could be, and just like, wow, this is If this
is powerful, then I have more there? Should I? Just
I even still in this they still repress and obviously

(01:29:02):
even as a Scorpio, and I like, I feel safe
keeping certain things to myself, but I just want to
push myself in this next chapter to just be even
more honest with you guys and and with myself, because
I don't take the space for granted. I know that
this space is medicine, and when I'm away from it
too long. Even though we've been avoiding this episode, all

(01:29:23):
month for whatever reason, Like I'm I'm so happy that
we're here having it and I get to do this
and hold myself accountable and hopefully hold the people listening
accountable to to try to do the same. Anyway. We
love you, We love you, love you, love you, love you,

(01:29:47):
and we'll see you next nice

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