Stop Shaming Single Moms, Sarah

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
She cooked, she cleaned, cared for her children and the
man of the house, and of course she.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
She was a good woman who always made good choices.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
That we're good mom's bad choices? Who single mom? Who said?
But the patriarchy shared all their bad choices and found
out they were so bad.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
After all, we're experts overhairs and your new vestie.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Sit back and do the ride. I can do a
pat I can do on my.

Speaker 4 (00:40):
Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and
I'm Meela. And it's Wednesday, bitches.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
It's Hemp Day, but really for us, it's Friday. Have
a four day weekend?

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (00:53):
Yeah yeah, it's what's the holiday, you know, Memorial Day? Yeah,
you know what, this was a great idea to wear
pajamas just as you.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Actually, fuck, I was gonna say this is what I'm
gonna be doing all weekend, But that's a fucking lie. Mom.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
Life is calling, and I have my last motherfucking volleyball
tournament of IRI's club team volleyball, and I cannot.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Wait for this shit to be over.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
I might be the reason why IRI doesn't progress in
life because I don't like participating and having to drive
far distances. Shout out to the moms and my mom
who made it happen because I was on like multiple
club teams and shit, I don't know how the fuck
or how or why all for me not to go
to college to play soccer.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Okay, why didn't she curse me the fuck out when
you signed up for this?

Speaker 3 (01:43):
I was like, they're gonna be games where it's because
all county, all the moms are doing it. I was like,
wait in the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 4 (01:51):
All the moms are driving out of their motherfucking way
to enhance their kids' lives, and I just want to say, what.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
The fuck isn't what college was for? Like that's when
they start doing you need to get a car, you know.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Honestly, I realize my parents didn't really show up to shit,
so I'm biased. I mean, actually I might be able
to traumatize, but I guess I just car pulled with
other people.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
I mean I did a lot of car pulling too,
because my mom was you know, busy, and also like
Rory would driving me around like everyone was driving my grandfather.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Everyone was.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
There was a tribe, so it wasn't just on her,
but like it's and I have a tribe too, for sure,
but it's like some of my tribe members are not
driving to fucking Earth.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
I was gonna say, I love you and I love Iri.
I'm not driving to Rarin for anyone. I'm not driving
to Ervine for Jesus of Nazareth himself.

Speaker 4 (02:43):
Even like I'm collaborating with a mom this weekend and
I'm driving them.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
You need Sunday.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
You need to make more friends. You need to make
more mom friends so that you don't have to drive
at all.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Well that's what I did. I made one. I always
might always find one.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
You gotta find that.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
I can't guarantee more than that, but shout out to
the one. We're holding each other down. This season have
been hard. And she's a mom of three and she's
been doing this shit for three kids. I'm like, bitch,
are you all and it's short. They've all been in
volleyball club or some sort of club team at some
point in their life, and I'm just like, sometimes your kids,
there's one that's just not going to be like if

(03:16):
your kid is an uncoordinated bitch, don't put just let
them go to art class.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
You know, I think we're coming from a like we're
coming from a You should be the first person to
tell your kid when they're not good at something. Don't
pretend like, don't give your don't give your kid delusional confidence.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
Ari told me that she next season she wants to
join a club team that's by your house.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
So I was like, so you want me to pick.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
You up from I'll tell you a by my house,
but then I have to take her there, and then
I have to drive back. And then some days I'm
here and I have to go pick you up at
school and then bring you back.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
I was just like, my cousin hur kid is sixteen though,
but he goes and him and his friend's going Weimo
all the time.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
I don't know where you guys are listening from. But
in La Weimo is a fucking driverless car, which hell no,
but yeah, her kids go in Waimo because there's wait.
Speaking of Waimo and driverless cars and niggas on the internet,
they're always like waitit wait allmen, allman, have you seen
on Uber there's one for female drivers only.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, I'm like they've been had that, I know.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
But I'm like everybody's talking like women are delusional. Uber
literally has a section for women drivers.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Because they've had so many sexual assaults.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
It's because we can't trust niggas.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, they're disgusting.

Speaker 4 (04:35):
Well I don't, Yeah, I mean well. And also, like
late at night, I feel more. I would feel more
comfortable being driven by a woman or any or nothing, yeah,
or nothing or empty car. I guess, I guess yes.
But I have yet to be in a waimo just
because I'm it.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Just you've been you've been in one before? No, no,
I said, yet to be in one.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
I want to go on one one time, and one
time I only do some research. I just want to
go on the back and have sex in it, Okay,
because why else would I beat a driverless car unless
I'm in fucking the Jetsons.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Only to have sex in the buck I got, so,
I don't know. It's not only of appeal and it's
not on the top of my list, But if I
was going to do it, that's the only way I
do it.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
But the fucked up part is like.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
But they're watching you. There's way you know, our friend Nerlyn,
she has a friend that works for weymo. They have
all the camera I heard.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
But then I was like, I'm not going to renew
my subscription. I just want to do this one thing,
this one time. But the sad part is is like,
are we at that part of humanity where we'd rather
be reliant on an empty driver than a human?

Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yes? Yes we are, and we're at that part of humanity.
We're part of my resistance for it.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
I'm like, why do I want to be driven by
nothing like a not reactive non human.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
It sounds insane. I don't want to drive with a
robot that I don't know. No, I don't like it.
I know I'm resistant to the ais and the mechanicals
and the technological.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
But anyway, back to.

Speaker 4 (05:57):
Your volleyball, I just thought, wow, if you're just tuning
in and you're watching on YouTube, we're actually wearing our
pajamas because Jamila's daughter suggested we have pajama day today
on the episode, so we said, you know what.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yes, let's do that.

Speaker 4 (06:09):
Although Mela said let's do it, and then I came
with all my pajamas and she said, oh, I didn't
know you were going to bring your pajamas, Like, bitch,
what you said?

Speaker 1 (06:16):
It's pajama Day is the only outfit I fucking brought.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
You know, sometimes my brain is a little delayed.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Mela's wearing my pajamas. Great, you might not get these back.
You know.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
I don't own a lot.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
I don't do a lot of pajama ring at my house.

Speaker 4 (06:29):
I don't really either, but I've somehow been invited to
like multiple pajama parties, so I have like silky pajamas.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
I'm like, do I need to put jama party? Every
time I put silky pajamas on? Even though this is
probably a poly blend from Amazon, I think I don't
go chase. No, No, that's the wrong one. Creep and creep.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, I like to keep it. I'm down, though. Have
you forgave and Chili yet? Have you forget it? Been
Chili for liking the Magi shit? Did we talk about that? Yeah?
We did.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
She's going to a constant. They're going on concert. I
would haven't even about tickets because Chili was chirping.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
I mean, we're still gonna go. People are still going
to go, Chili I'm not really need you to hold
it down.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
There's only two TLC left, and I'm gonna need you
not to be a Magis supporter. Okay, just for TLC,
just for left Eye, Like, come on, I know you're
dating old boy from Boy Meets World, and I mean.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Is that what happened? Is that why?

Speaker 3 (07:18):
I think she's always been funny acting. Apparently if you
pay attention, she's always been a little uh in black denial.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Really I didn't like, well she said she's not black.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
There was another clip that surfaced about someone calling her
like chocolate and she's like, I'm not chocolate or something.
Some are car Something's fucking ridiculous. You know, you know
how it feel about black people and their self hate.
The man has done a hell of a job. And
apparently not even Chili's exempt.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
Damn well.

Speaker 4 (07:46):
Speaking of bad choices, I think we have a bad
choice of the week from somebody that is actually pretty
fucking hilarious.

Speaker 5 (07:53):
Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom
so good.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
And she's a OG tribe member. Yes, I wrote it.
I read it out loud today this morning and I
was like, this is hilarious, and also this is very
much sunny, where is it?

Speaker 4 (08:17):
If you have a bad choice you want to submit
to the show, make sure you go to our website,
Good Mom's Bad Choices dot Com and click the contact
us and write in your bad choices, write in your
horror stories, and write in your advice questions. Because we
are smart and we are your friends, and we can help.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
I think, I.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Hope please join Discord. We only have four thousand like
the channels to talk okay. We have ladies love discounts.
We have you any Power xxx that's the sexy one
for the women only. We have birth stories, we have
good Reads, we have smoke break, we have girl Guess What.
We have pleasure rituals. We have vent, we have need Advice,
we have horries. Okay, I can't find bad choices.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Sometimes they disappear.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
Why I hope bad choices really do disappear.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
There?

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Okay, thanks, thanks for that, you know, I mean technology. Okay,
bad choice of the week. I needed a new plug
for shroomies now that organics are in season. I have
a business partner I get everything from and he just
doesn't love as many hippie things as I do. So
he hooked me up with his link and I had
to go by myself about sixty miles away up in

(09:27):
the desert mountains. But he said, you and her will click.
She's you in twenty years. I wasn't nervous or anything,
just interested to see what this encounter was about to be.
Like ha ha ha ha. I put it in order
for a pound. If you know, you know that's a.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Lot pound, bitch, When do you moving weight? Basically, we're
going to we're going to your house.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
Don't do mushroom.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
It's gonna have a pound of I don't know, but
we mushrooms are very light.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
We're coming over. Wow, a pound is wild off. But
you know she's sober, so I mean, you know, like
she's a drink so.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Some sort of business bitch.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
So that's a lot loll So I get I don't know,
I'm only one who says lol lol. So I get
up to the place. She was so nice to meet me, sweet,
So I get, sorry, can you read, bitch, I'm trying
to read, discord. I put it in an order for
a pound. If you know you know that's a lot?

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yes, it is.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
So I get up to the place she was so
nice to me. She said she heard a lot about me.
We both are queer and this style of business. So
we chatted a bit about being a female plug. She
shared some horror stories about back in her day. We
did the exchange, and then she said, hey, would you
give me a ride down the hill to the casino.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
I agreed. Then, while in the.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
Car, she asked me if I would try a micro
mushroom choco. She had been working on Choco Choco, maybe chocolate.
It's in short form Erica, Okay, it's discord, get with
it with her knowledge around the mush she's it's sunny.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
She's writing in fucking abbreviations. Can you write full?

Speaker 3 (10:59):
Wait, I'm gonna write it. I just thow she read
it with her knowledge around the mushies. I agreed, and
we pulled up to the casino. She gets out and says, oh,
did I say micro? I actually gave you the macro?
Have fun?

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Thanks for the ride.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
I laughed at first, and then realized I better get
my ass home asap.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Ha ha ha.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
I knew I had about thirty minutes before I had
start to feel the effects, but I was an hour
away from home.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
Laugh out loud, I just kept driving.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Once the trip started I pulled over and sat in
the back of my truck for a while. I was
in the desert area, so it was peaceful, not too hot,
and just vibed off of nature for a while. I
wouldn't say the trip was macro, but I definitely had
to call my wife to pick up arkid loll. I
didn't get home till tennish after tripping in the desert.
Ha ha ha. I got cold and went home. All

(11:44):
in all, great bad decision. The shroomies were great, organic,
and I met a new friend.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Ha ha ha. You're getting you're vetoed from reading out loud.
First of all, Lola home.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
First of all, I'm reading it like it was in bitch.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
I can read just fine. You're not gonna try and
play me on live podcasting. I wrote a book that
is I can read, goddamn it. You know there's a
literacy issue in America. Well, it's not with me.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
First of all, I'm First of all, I'm not sixty percent.
I can read very well. I'm in publish author. Okay,
don't play with me, relax.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
You're very intelligent. You are the smartest people I know, Jamil.
Don't give me that fucking patronizing asshoice.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
Even anyway bad choice of the week that was funny and.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Hilarious.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
I would have freaked out, So shout out to you
for keeping calm.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
I wouldn't have I mean, I don't.

Speaker 4 (12:38):
I can't take I could never even take a micro
and decide to drive because I just never know what's
going to happen.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
It actually reminds me of one time when you went
to San Diego with one of those that Scammer Bay,
and you guys took mushrooms at the beach and then
like then it ended, and.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
No one knew where to go or where to do.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
I remember this. I wasn't there, but I remember you
calling me like I was so mad.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
He had no plan.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
I was like, so let me get the shake. I
sicked mushrooms at the beach.

Speaker 4 (13:03):
And then that was and then he cried that sounds
about Scammer Bay.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah, I remember. No, I don't remember that.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
Really, he went to San Diego and he didn't have
a plan anywhere passed.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
Like a plan in San Diego or a plan after
the mushrooms, plan after the mushrooms? What kind of plans
was I hoping for?

Speaker 3 (13:21):
I don't know, like to get from point A to
point by hotel.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
I do not know how to be more to the story,
I didn't do a lot of traveling with scammer Bay
because I knew he was a scammer very early on
by his face. But that's a different story.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
For a different day.

Speaker 4 (13:38):
Yeah, that was I think I've tried to erase that
time from my mind. Only fragments of it exist still,
teeth and teeth and his obsession with different types of
bacon and I do your roommate relationship and Erica.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
The dentist story of him will never ever.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
I hope tell that story every year for the rest
of podcasting life, because the fuck is he was insane.
You should listen to me. We knew he was a nuts.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah, well, Erica's scammer Bay stole.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
Eric's scammra Bay asked her for her dentist, her black
dentist contact. I don't care if you've heard this before,
we're hearing it again.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
Shout out to doctor Thompson. If you're looking for a
black dentist in Los Angeles, he's your guy.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
But don't do this.

Speaker 4 (14:24):
But maybe don't tell him I sent you because from
Eric He's probably mad at me too, because I went
in to get in visi line and he took molds
of my teeth and I think I never came back.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
But he was too far.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
Erica gave her scammer boyfriend her black dentist contact. This
fucking scammer goes there, gets his fucking Veneers shaved down
for Veneers, proceeds after the procedure to go to the bathroom,
locks the key in the bathroom, and just doesn't come back.
He tried to run off with his like he tried

(15:01):
to dine and dash at the dentist, I know, which
is crazy work. And then the dumb ass had to
come back because Veneers take two steps. First, you shave
him down and get them fitted, and then you come
back and get the permanent ones. So this nigg is
scamming all around LA with fucking temporary teeth from a
black doctor, talking about he supports black businesses, and the

(15:22):
poor doctor is fucking calling around Erica.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
But you know what, asking her why the fuck would
he let him come back. He let him come back.
He let that nigga come back. He's a cancer.

Speaker 3 (15:32):
The dentist, Yeah, because what the fuck he has to
be a cancer doctor. Thompson, Thompson, where's your birthday? I
need to know, because I can't believe you got got twice?

Speaker 1 (15:42):
Did he pay the second time? I don't. I think he.

Speaker 4 (15:44):
I don't know, girl, he probably had to. He had
to pay the second time.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
It doesn't Actually he doesn't have had to do anything.
He didn't do a lot of weird.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
A grown man who is bold enough to go to
his girlfriend's dentist who is black, who he supposedly openly
supports black businesses, only to intentionally lock the key in
the bathroom and run is in. That is insane work.
That is a ballsy move. I would never like, I
would feel too bad, but apparently sociopath.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
No, that's insane. That's crazy.

Speaker 4 (16:15):
But if you're gonna dine and dash, I mean you
might as well dine on the big big things. Man,
dash on the big things. Well, I'm not gonna dash
it Deaddy's I wanted to dash, dash on these mother teeth.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
I dash up Step two. You need to dash when
this ship's not jack.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Step one required payment. So that was the problem.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
Well he should have dash his ass to Columbia like everybody.
The fuck else and got those big chick lay teeths.
The fuck I cannot stand him? Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yeah, I know, he's an interesting fellow.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
We each had at least one to three boyfriends that
were lovers of each other's that we absolutely fucking couldn't stand.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
That's true. That's a fact, because I could think of.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
Yours is only one that I couldn't stand thein the
ones I knew weren't your niggers, but I I wouldna
say I can't stay.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that one. You couldn't stand. That
one with the dog our friendship almost when I moved
the dog in.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, that was bad.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Oh god, I'm so happy we're not in the Hinge
streets anymore.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Is not what you wanted to talk about, Hinge. No,
just where we were, then where we are, and then
where we are now. Yeah I did because.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
I started the podcast when I was twenty nine and
I will be thirty eight next month. That is crazy work.
I mean, it's just a it's been such a journey,
and I think that we're a testimony of the baby
Mama glow Up. I like that Baby Mama glow Up.
You know, there's always a think piece from bitches and

(17:46):
niggas on the internet about why single moms are not
worthy and we don't have worth and we're not desired
and high valued men don't want us, blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
It's usually bitches that don't have kids.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
It's bitches wh don't have husband or kids, or they
have husbands and they haven't found out yet that that.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Doesn't make you a winner.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah, just getting a first of all. I just want
everybody to know, just in case you didn't know, anybody
can get married.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
You could literally go to Vegas. I just did it.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
You just go, you get a paperwork, you pay one
hundred and fifty dollars boom. Doesn't guarantee shit. In fact
that nigga might have another wife and the next state over.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
We never know. You never know.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
People are married twice four times all the time. So
bitches on the internet going around bragging about being wives
or putting other women down because they're not wives and
they have kids. You're fucking up the plot. You're fucking
up the feminism, like you're really fucking it up. You
might as well go be with Trump Ooh yeah, I

(18:46):
said it, go'll be with Trump, bitch.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
I agree Sarah, Doctor Sarah. I don't don't what are
we doing with the doctor things? What are we What's
I'm going on with these doctors?

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Unless I got you as a referral from my fucking primary.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
Hello, this is good. Mom's my choice is My name
is Erica, doctor Dickerson. Actually not even Erica.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
I am doctor Dickerson.

Speaker 4 (19:11):
I'm your honorary doctor of all things related to single motherhood, motherhood,
having fun, being a bad bitch, and that would be cool.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Doctor Dick. You can fix a day, I can fix
a dick. I'm doctor Day. You should be doctor Dick,
the dick fixer.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
There's a lot of problems with dicks these days, and
sexologists can help you. So we could get doctor Dick
and High Priestess Mila.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
You don't want to be a doctor.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
I mean I'm already high Priestess. I wasn't lying on
that one. Let me find something more, PhD.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
You know is that doctor?

Speaker 4 (19:41):
I feel like we put in our time, we put
in our time, we put it in our hours.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
I'm at least a therapist. We have we're definitely honorary doctor.
I'm not do you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (19:50):
I think that I think our tribe would rightfully nominate
us as doctors in this space.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
Does anyone have the capability of making us honorary doctors?

Speaker 1 (19:58):
Who works at the university?

Speaker 4 (19:59):
And you know what, I want to take it a
step further. I think I want to get knighted. We
just get knighted?

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Do women get doctor? Did women get knighted? You can?

Speaker 3 (20:08):
I want to be a queen. Wait, what do they
call them, sir?

Speaker 1 (20:13):
Like their mam ma'am, madam, Madam Mila.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
Oh, kind of sound like a hooker slash at the
top of the hookers, Madam Mela, Adam Mila.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
Would you like to come to doctor Dick or Madam Mila,
we can help you. That was referred to you by
doctor Dick.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Oh you're having some dig problems, are you, Madam Mila
of the Whorehouse on Ventura and Lancasham.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Oh my god? Anyway, yeah, play the club the trauma.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
If you had the worst parents in the world, you
had the worst experience in the world. By you are
adult enough to start correcting it. You have kids young,
I get it. Most people have kids young. You don't
have to have multiple children and just keep going with
all these men that won't commit to you and then
stop teaching it to our daughters. That's the problem. So
do you want to say, there's a lot of single
moms out here, that's the problem. Can we just address

(21:03):
the elephant in the room. It is the problem.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Just okay to be a single mom. No, it's not
okay to be more than anyone.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
I don't want to have conversations about like what your
baby daddy? Like, I don't know, how's your husband that.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Everybody? People have six outside of marriage, they end up
having bags. They're already ruined. They because for themselves, yes
they did.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
They absolutely lowered their wife value on the market because
they were frivolous with their body.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
It's one thing to be what the fuck their wife?
Their wife value? What are we fucking carfax? We are?
Are we carved?

Speaker 5 (21:43):
No? No?

Speaker 3 (21:44):
No, I have property, like and there's my value gone
down because the beach front came up?

Speaker 4 (21:49):
Like well this is this is like, this is exactly
patriarchal thinking. If we're talking about our bodies as first
of all commodities, that's even that's beyond patriarchal.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
That's fucking slavery, bitch.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
And secondly, the fact that we have someone me you
by anybody listening who has multiple children, Like our gift
to the world is life, right, is to create life
in some capacity. The fact that it's been villainized now
of course, like I don't think anybody strives to be
a baby mama, right, Like nobody's like, yeah, I have
an idea.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
Some women.

Speaker 4 (22:20):
Okay, we'll say there's some women that are like, I'm
gonna just do whatever needs to be done.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
But do you blame them? But this is the thing.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
It is just like, first of all, Sarah font No,
the fact that you rate bage women.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
I don't really know how you fucking sleep at night, bitch, because.

Speaker 4 (22:38):
The way in which you are actually degrading black women
by perpetuating this idea that our value is somehow linked
to whether or not we're married. Like Mela said it
takes nothing to be married, bitch. It takes nothing to
be married and you're not. There's this this topic is
so layered because it's not considering so many factors involved,
like and like abuse, trauma, like socioeconomic shaite, like just

(23:04):
like mental health, things that are just not even be attracted.
And then saying that by twenty two we're supposed to
start the healing problem. I don't know where the fuck
you got that motherfucking angel number bitch, Like my mama said,
I'm like, okay, so we see who where your mind is,
and like I don't even know if like she's really questioned,
Like your mother seems to be like the voice of

(23:25):
reason in your mind. She's the woman who's telling you
what is supposed to be because she references her all
the time. And of course, like it's fine to be
it's fine to be guided by the people that have
created you. But it's just sounds like, yo, mama is
part of the problem and so always you bitch.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Do you remember what I said earlier about the parents
are giving children delusional confidence?

Speaker 1 (23:48):
This is a prime example.

Speaker 3 (23:52):
It the issue in the in the black community, specifically
amongst black women, specifically a youngst amongst black back mothers.
One of the biggest heaviest weights of being a single
mother and being black is that there's this stereotype right
that you are, you know, prone to be on on welfare,

(24:13):
You're you know, you're never going to make it out
of poverty, like they're they're they're you're promiscuous, promiscuous, You're
what did she say, with your body, frivolous, frivolous with
your body, and if you have if you're a baby
mama twice, that's a thousand percent your fault. It takes
two people to have a baby, Guys. No one's fucking

(24:34):
themselves and just making themselves a baby mama, and the
people who are are actually doing it intentionally, happily and
in peace.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
The problem with this narrative is that it's already hard.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
Enough in the world to be a black woman. You
add stereotypes and narratives like this, and what you do
is you villainize only the woman in these relationships. When
single moms are created because of two dynamics to partners,
it's not it's generally not a one person's problem. Like

(25:06):
you said in another clip, most women do not sign
up to do this alone. No, most women, ninety nine
point cent of women do not sign up for motherhood alone.
So if someone is leaving a relationship once, twice, three times,
forty fucking times, bitch, it's because there's probably a reason
people change all the time. Just because you marry someone
going in one way, you have a baby. Niggas lie,

(25:28):
niggas she Niggas pretend niggas manipulate, and so do women.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
But the point is is like dismissing.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
The fact that there's a whole other party that contributes
to single parent households, literally put the all of the
blame as if first of all, it's something to blame.
Single moms are okay, They're doing just fucking fine, you know. So,
Like this type of narrative makes women stay in unhealthy dynamics,

(25:55):
abusive relationships and like relationships that are not peaceful, that
are not growth oriented.

Speaker 4 (26:00):
All because they're so afraid of being a single mom. This,
this idea of being a single mom especially is.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
For black women, saying it's worth saying. You will have
women fighting tooth and nail a nigga that they should
have let go of five years ago because a bitch
called a doctor named Sarah Fondon. Her fucking mama said
you're worthless or you can't. You can't, you are less
desirable now that you.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Have a child. That is absolutely not true.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
Our worth is not based on whether another nigga likes
me or who wants to wife me up. That is
not how I see my value, and as humans, we
should not see our value based on our fucking relationship status.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Men.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
You never hear a man say, damn, you're thirty five
and you ain't married, what's wrong with you? Right, because
women inherently have taken up because of the patriarchy, this
narrative that our value is primarily tied to our relationship status.
And it's absolutely fucking bullshit, Like single moms get made

(27:01):
every day, and single moms are successful every day, and
single moms get remarried every day.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Hi, hello, it's.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
Me Nah, have beautiful relationships, have successful businesses, have beautiful
bonds with their children, have great relationships with their baby daddies,
And do you know.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
What I'm saying, Like it's just like you're not even
telling the whole story. It just sounds like misery and
like the ghetto.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
But because she has been she specifically has been sold
this story that if you get married somehow that protects
you from all the nuances of life. And that is
just simply not true, babe. And I can't wait till
some shit hits you right in the face, because it
will because that's life, lifing. Everything is not a fucking
Disney movie, bitch. And for you to get on the
goddamn fucking Internet, Beyonce's Internet and talk like this is

(27:45):
absolutely fucking crazy. I mean, look at Erka Bado three
baby daddies. She's doing fucking great. That's what I'm gonna say, Erkabadu. Yeah, good,
Mom's by choices.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Bitch.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
The Internet and the algorithm and the gender wars is
so fucking tired.

Speaker 4 (28:07):
It's it's so played out, it's manufactured, you know. And
and when you look at someone like doctor Sarahphonton, like
the rage baiting pisses me off because I see.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
It all over her fucking doctor.

Speaker 4 (28:19):
Please God, her fucking rage baiting on the page of
just her captions are literally to piss women off. She's
like a female Sammy, And I'm like, what, what, how
are you contributing?

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Like what are you?

Speaker 4 (28:31):
How are you being part of you have all these
issues and these statements. How are you actually helping women?
Are you actually sitting with women and talking to them
and face to face? Are you just sitting on your
fucking podcast, Mike and judging them? Listening to your mother
and all these numbers, Like when I think about how
she talks about things, it's like twenty two two babies,
Like you have more.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
Than two if you're twenty. I'm like, bitch, like you
knows timeline are we on? Bitch? Whose timeline are we on?

Speaker 4 (28:56):
Like all of our paths are different, Like please stop,
just please stop it too.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
You're barely getting fucking bitch hairry your pussy, literally barely
the bitch I was in the club drinking patrone, buy
you a drink. I was not thinking about like healing,
like everyone's process is different, and like Sarah, you're obviously
not healed, or she wouldn't be on the internet perpetrating
and fucking promoting this negative, terrible stereotype for women.

Speaker 4 (29:25):
But if you actually gave a fact it's this negative stereotype,
then the reason it also pisses me off is because
it's like dressed in this like like facade of I'm
trying to help you, like I want you to do better,
so I'm.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
Gonna share this thing. Bitch, please stop.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
While also like secret like kicking you while you're down.
That's not women empowerment.

Speaker 1 (29:44):
That's the listening you guys. That's a bitch.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
She wants to get on the algorithm and a bit
she wants to be Internet famous.

Speaker 4 (29:50):
Please stop taking advice from bitches who got married and
left the nigga that she was with for a long
time to marry her friend, who finally said, will you
marry me and put a ring on it. The same
bitch who said I'm gonna kill my I'm gonnakill my
babies over my husband.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
No, she said, if they were all drowning, I would
save my husband and let my kids drown because we
can make more kids.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
First of all, go have some kids and come back.

Speaker 3 (30:13):
Now.

Speaker 4 (30:13):
Her fear of being a single mother is so apparent
that she would rather her kids drowned and save her husband.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
This is an important case study women are So.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
That is the biggest fear.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
You'd rather save your husband and not your kids, so
you won't be a single mom because you think single
mom is a detriment of the fucking world. And that
is absolutely insane.

Speaker 4 (30:36):
Noh wow, Yeah, so everyone's valuable because God made you.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (30:43):
No, this is like you have nothing to be ashamed about.
You have nothing to be ashamed about. You're allowed to
leave and not have allowed to change your mind. Yeah,
you're allowed to leave. You're allowed to change your mind.
You're allowed to grow, You're allowed to make bad choices
and still be worthy of love, of care, of marriage.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Of marriage, of your nuclear family. Like it's just it's
all of farce.

Speaker 4 (31:06):
And there's no timeline as long as you have agreed
to the healing, you know, Like there's no timeline of
like at twenty two, as long as we're actively growing,
and even when you're not, that's okay too.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
And sometimes you're gonna take rests from the growing. Growth
is a lot. Yeah, you gotta got her embodies, you
gott yeah, like a little toxic shit he come back,
you know.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
Like that's the problem is like the Internet promotes this
idea of all these fucking experts, these holistic experts and
these personas and you get these thirty second think clips
or think pieces, and like that's not reality that like
the world is not healed. Nobody is healed. The entire
journey is the healing process if we are committed to
being better versions of ourselves, and the timeline is non existent.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
Time doesn't even really exist.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
So this timeline of when you should be married or
if you have this amount of kids, then your value,
your value goes down or you know you're not gonna
be able to find a head. You will find whoever
is supposed to fucking find you. As long as you
know who the fuck you are and you know what
your value is, no one else can give you your value.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
You're not a car and and there are no miles.
It's just fornicte and so do men all the time.
And black women deserve the most grace in the whole
motherfucking world.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
So stop anyway, any other thing pieces.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
That I need to comment on. I think we can
like take a little smoke break, now, you know.

Speaker 4 (32:36):
Yeah, that was a lot that was That was that
rounded ed up For like two hours before we actually
recorded episode.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
Erica kept playing it so she could like we could
we could record it, so we could play it. Every
time she played it, I got mad all over it.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Give me in the other room, like, I'm like, girl,
you heard it. I don't care. I don't care, I
don't care.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
I'm gonna I'm gonna be common as many times as
I see it and I be in the comments. She's
also the same person who said this is another thing
that she was saying. Oh, she said, I'm so tired.
I don't want to hear about anybody's baby daddy or
baby mom. I don't want to ask how your baby daddy,
I want to ask how your husband is husband's be beating.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
Bitch's asses every day.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
Second of all, she's also the same bitch who said
her husband can't go to lunch with any female friends.
They could come to the house and she can make lunch.

Speaker 4 (33:28):
So she doesn't want to know women in their wholeness.
She wants to meet women, however she decides they're supposed
to be viewed and what makes her feel comfortable about
her worthiness. That's because she's about her worthiness, because she's
suppressed the parts of herself to be accepted, to be loved,
this idea of what being lovable looks like. Because yeah,

(33:51):
it's not realistic. No, because why wouldn't you want to
ask me about my child's father?

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Why is it like what if me and him have
a beautiful relationship, my daughter's thriving and doing well.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
But because it didn't work out, and because we didn't
get married, and maybe he was a nigga I fucked
with for six months that when I was twenty three
and trying to figure some shit out. But somehow my
storyline is less valuable than yours.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
Because you you have a ring on your finger, bit
you married your heart oh wait, Like what are you
talking about? Like that? That's what I mean.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
Like, she doesn't want to she doesn't want to understand
women holistically, because that's not that's just not realistic. That's
not even how society was meant to be set up.
That is literally a social construct that we're all abiding
by and failing at because it's actually not natural to us,
do you know what I mean? And so it's just
like this idea that whatever, we can go on about
it this, but I just feel like, bit, you don't
really like women. That's why you don't. You don't really

(34:41):
like women. You don't really which means you don't really
like yourself. But you're not gonna maybe you'll never face
that or turn that page and realize that. But one
day you'll wake up and realize the detriment. Someone's gonna
come to you and tell you a story and it's
gonna fuck you up because of the shit that you've
said and the way you haven't really supported women. So anyway, ashay,

(35:04):
but I wish you well, we should come on our couche,
we should talk.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
That'll be fine. Come, Yeah, you can have a healthy debate.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
I'm here for a healthy debate always, always, but yeah,
tearing down women for the algorithm is not my cup
of tea. And everybody's different. Everybody's story is different. Everybody's
baby daddy story, everybody's break up story is different, and
you know, shit happens. People have kids every day and
sometimes it's it's for a lot of reasons. So yeah,

(35:34):
have some kids first and come back and holler at me. Anyway,
how are you?

Speaker 1 (35:41):
I'm great. We have an advice question.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Okay, let's see.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
This is a nice question.

Speaker 4 (35:50):
That's okay, long story short. I'm a new mom of
two years of a two year old daughter who's completely
stuck on my bed. To make a long story short,
this was just a great relationship in which we fucked
when we had the time, friends with benefits. I get
pregnant and three months and he ghosts me. I pull
up on him on my due date and come to
find out he got another girl pregnant and she had.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
She had been. This is funny to go into this
after the conversation. Does that make sense? Should be? Does
it mean what? Okay, it's just this. I mean, let's
be clear, there are some bitches that whatever.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
We'll just read the goddamn story.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
Okay, advice question, Okay, I pull I pull up on
him on my due date and come to find out
he had another girl pregnant and she had a pre
me twin girls a month before I was due for mine.
Fast forward, I tried to work and heal myself while
just focusing on my daughter and doing the whole happy
family co parenting thing, which is which is causing almost
a three year ce celibacy streak. I can't help but

(36:55):
look for my BD and other men I find myself flirting.
I can't help but find my bed and other men
I find myself learning with. Despite his horror qualities, he's
been holding it down financially and sees her here and
there when he has the time. We have, g Lord,
we have a great friendship dynamic which makes it harder,
which makes it harder, up until recently where I asked

(37:15):
him for help with our daughter and it just fell
upon deaf ears. I work from home ten hours a
day without help, and I needed him help weaning her,
and I needed help to wean her at nights since
I've been breastfeeding this whole time.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Instead of him checking up on me the.

Speaker 4 (37:28):
Next day, he just ignored it, which triggered the feeling
of abandonment during my pregnancy that I suppressed. I need
help moving on, but I just feel like a virgin again.
For background, I'm turning thirty three this summer and went
through my whole phase proudly. Due to this trauma, I'm
spending my thirties as a born again virgin and can't
even trust men to go on the first date. What's
fun What's funny is that I've never felt sexier in

(37:48):
my new mombad, but even after but even another man
looking at me doesn't feel right because it almost feels
like cheating on my baby dag. I know I deserve love,
but just can't feel like. I just don't feel like
it's out there for me anymore. I don't know what
else to do to get over this.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
I think this is good that we've read this advice
question directly following Sarah Vondant's think piece.

Speaker 4 (38:11):
Because because some bitches you got, you have to hold
bitches accountable no matter what.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
Okay, first of all, that's not your friend. Okay, yeah,
your baby daddy's not your friend. If he pops in
on your baby every so often, that that's not your friend.
Anybody who don't take care of their kids cannot be
a friend, period. If it's your kid, if it's a
kid that's not yours, if it's a kid in Dallas
while he lives in fucking Houston, whatever. Any person, any
parent that is not an active parent in a child,

(38:40):
their child's life, cannot be a friend. They are not
loyal to their own DNA. They're damn sure not going
to be loyal in a friendship.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
That's it. That's period. Second of all.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
Ladies, and you know I'm going to give you grace.
You're thirty three, but wrap it up. Come on, bitch,
let's I don't want to have to talk to you
like this.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
But don't be a dumb bitch. No, you have to
sometimes we had to do. I love you, so I'm
gonna be like, the discernment is not optional. It's true.

Speaker 3 (39:18):
After you have a baby, especially as a black woman,
especially because of all of the stereotypes, all of the
the think pieces around being a single black mom.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
It puts you.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
It puts it in perspective, and what it really puts
in perspective, who am I choosing to lay the fuck
down with because a baby is a long term decision.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
Even with us.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
We knew our baby daddy's forever forever we've had we
had long term relationships before becoming baby mamas, and still
we had to learn, and still we had to heal,
and still we had to love ourselves more than we.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
Love these niggas. And that's really what it is.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
You need to love yourself before even trying to lay
your ass down with or have a relationship.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
If you want to hoe hope with protection home with protection.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
Yeah, because this is what niggas do. They they'll they'll
nut in you and then they'll be like.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
You should get an abortion. I mean I think, yeah,
they're not responsible.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
The freaking news. Niggas are not responsible. If a niggas
says get an abortion, it's because you don't have that conversation.
Do not let niggas nut in you. They can't even
pull out twenty dollars for a tip. They definitely can't
pull their dick out of the kouchie in time. Terrible idea.
Stop letting these niggas nut in you.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
Yeah, we can't. Like, Yes, it's up to us. Yes,
it's our right. I believe in abortion. I believe in you.
It is your choice, choice. Baby.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
Don't have expectations of a nigga that he has. No,
he don't have expectation for himself. We are expecting shit
from niggas that never gave us not one fucking inclination
that they are performing a certain way.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Sometimes they do.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
Sometimes people lie and they pretend and they put a facade,
but there's always cracks like please, ladies, like this was.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
This, The cracks were shattered, bitch at the beginning.

Speaker 4 (41:03):
He goes to you and then you found out that
he had a baby with someone else.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
That should have told you right then and there. That's
not your friend. He didn't even have the he didn't
have to tell you.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
Now you're practic, you can't do anything about that. You're
gonna have the baby. You know less life, right, But
this nigga is not your friend.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
She showed you from the beginning.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Stop fucking with the nigga, like say, you're a salibate
for three years because you're not fucking him.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
At least be fucking him. What are you doing? Like,
why aren't you fucking at all? Don't be fucking him.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
I'm just saying, don't do that. But I'm just saying
if you're what are you celibate for? Like you're so
you're holding yourself hostage to this?

Speaker 1 (41:35):
What is it? What are you doing? But this is
this is another thing.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
This is another reason it's important when you have kids
with someone, inevitably, especially for women, and in bilicalcord, a
cord is created energetically with a child, but with that
other person.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
And because as women, a lot.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
Of society tells us that our worth should be tied
to the kids with the hope of having a happily
ever after. Then you're in a position like this young
lady here, who is literally, I don't know what the
fuck you're doing, waiting out for him to wake up
and love you or be respectful of you or whatever,
and that you're literally preventing yourself from maybe finding love

(42:11):
or just doing the work that you Just.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
Why are you punishing yourself?

Speaker 3 (42:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (42:16):
I don't understand it. It's just.

Speaker 3 (42:19):
When when it's time to go, it's time to go.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. And
if you say you love yourself, do the actions and
the people you choose reflect that truly? If you love yourself,
do the people that you keep truly reflect someone who
loves you, because bitch just gonna be like, I love myself,

(42:41):
I love myself, I love myself.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
I'm all that.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
I'm all that. But then you go up with pooky
in them or fucking Jerome or Zach or whoever the
fuck you're laying with, and they are disrespecting you, they're cheating,
they're netting in you and then telling you they want
you to get an abortion. They're not being like, there's
so many things that we do that does not align
with love, if you like, even on casual sex, because

(43:03):
do whatever you want, like pussies are for pleasure. Let
it be intentional, Let it be respectful, Let it be
fulfilling you. It may not be your husband, but let
it be intentional. Don't just let anybody bird brain ask
nigga fuck you.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
Even with a condom.

Speaker 3 (43:17):
That shit is contagious. Stupidity is contagious, y'all. We were
stupid before a lot of times because we were.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Doing the dirty with dirty, Like when you do.

Speaker 4 (43:31):
You lay with it impacts how you show up in
so many micro and macro ways that you don't even realize.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
But let me tell you, your friends realize. They all know.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
We all know, even as smart women, even the smartest
women can lay with the wrong dick and get dumb.
I have seen so many women do it, and then
they recover quietly and recover in shame because they feel ashamed.
Don't be ashamed. We fuck up, we make mistakes. It's
important to have these conversations. This is why like the

(44:01):
Sarah Fondants or whatever the fuck her name is, is
so problematic because nobody is perfect, right. We are all
seagering at the fuck out and I can love you
through it, and we can.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
We have to love ourselves through it, but we also
have to hold ourselves accountable.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
And but the only way we do that is so
that you have to tell your bitches. So like what
I'm saying, stop playing yourself. I've told a lot of
my friends, stopped playing yourself. And I've had to tell
them a lot of times. But I love them, and
so I'll tell them a lot of times and eventually
we come.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
About of it.

Speaker 4 (44:28):
But you know what, the difference between that and what
Sarah does is like holding people accountable but then not
shaming them and acting as if like their their worthiness
and life and like their value in this life is destroyed.

Speaker 3 (44:42):
Because because kids you can't send back to the maker
like literally like oh sorry, you did what permanent?

Speaker 1 (44:50):
Like nothing is permanent? Every day isn't new?

Speaker 4 (44:53):
I think that Like for my advice to you, advice
question is the first thing that we said, which was
this man is not your friend, and so your first
step is deciding that. Your first step is believing that
and doing something about it and stop treating him as so,
because once you do that, you're really gonna start to
see how who he is because you're a comp. I'm

(45:14):
sure you're a comp. You're clearly accommodating him baby off
for working ten hours a day reading a baby off
by yourself, and he comes around and helps you sometimes, bitch, no, no,
So the first step is understanding that this nigga is
not your motherfucking friend and creating boundaries around what that
means now and then you'll see and it's gonna be
hard because he's gonna show his ass and you're gonna

(45:36):
want to go back because it was easier and you
love him, and blood fuck that shit.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
It is so good over here, bitch.

Speaker 4 (45:42):
Let me tell you, as a single mother who had
her whole face in her single motherness, it was so
good here. It has been so good here, so much pleasure,
so much joy, so many lessons. Yeah, bad choices, but
that does not make me any more valuable. That did
not make anything less possible for me. That did not
make my joy any any bit smaller or make me
not want or crave love in a nuclear family. That's

(46:06):
not what we're out here doing is trying to fragment
our homes.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
So baby, and that's why it's important that like mothers
have these conversations addressing other mothers, real mom because the
thing is as a mother, ninety nine point nine percent,
like we're not ever going to put our child intentionally
in harm's way.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
If I can make it the best for you, I'm
gonna make it the best for you.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
And like, sometimes this narrative is so heavy that they
choose unhappiness for the sake of the marriage instead of
choosing themselves.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
And it's just like it's it's.

Speaker 3 (46:43):
Choose yourself, choose your happiness. Things are not one size
fits all, no one. You're not not valuable because you
have one kid or two kids or three kids or
fucking pop on hop on green eggs on ham, Like
it's just it's just life. Yeah, And as long as
you're committed to like loving yourself a little bit more
each day, like love yourself like you love your baby.

(47:06):
When your baby falls down, your baby gets a bag grade,
or baby says, oh, I don't know how to do this,
You say, yes, you do. You're so smart.

Speaker 1 (47:12):
I love you. You pick them up every time.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
If they fall a hundred times, youre gonna pick them
up and tell them try again, and brush him moth
and hug them and kiss him. You literally have to
tend to yourself the same way. The second you let
bitches and niggas on the internet tell you you're not worthy,
and you let that start to dilute, like start to
like be a cancer to your body, and you decide
that you just give up on man and you're gonna
be celibate and men, are you know what I mean?

(47:34):
Like because this is all you deserve because no one's
gonna want you. That's when that's your reality. When you
know this.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
Is this this she's in like like freeze mode. This
like reaction to this circumstance is exactly the prescription of
what a Sarah prescribes right like the shame, like I
have to figure this out.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
I am not.

Speaker 4 (47:55):
I can't go out and seek and date and be
worthy of love now because I've been frivolous with my body. Yeah,
like I'm beholden to my baby daddy, Like what the fuck?

Speaker 5 (48:05):
Like?

Speaker 3 (48:06):
No, And sometimes you make bad choices. Sometimes your baby
daddy is it who you thought he was?

Speaker 1 (48:12):
He's a reflection of your twenty seven year old self.
Do you really think they've married?

Speaker 4 (48:16):
People are like fucking adverse from making bad decisions. So
once you're married, you just make all the best choices
there too, Like, are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 3 (48:23):
News flash, bitches, marry the wrong nigga every day, yeah,
and vice versa, just for the sake most of the day,
just for the sake of being married most the day.
One thing about being a baby mama and having the
experience of having a child with someone that you don't
end up with is that when you do get married
to have that nuclear family, you're going to be so
fucking incredibly intentional and clear because you have done some

(48:47):
research and development in these fucking field research streets. Because
you're like, nope, not that, Nope, not this, Oh actually
that doesn't really, this doesn't feel good. You start to
do the work that your mom said should have been
done at twenty two, because you can't just wake up
at twenty two and say it's the work. You have
to have lived experience, and have experience comes to having
relationships and inner relationship commity decisions and making dicising choice

(49:12):
and communicating with yourself and others and saying no, I
don't like this, or yes I do like this. That
is how healing works. It's not just internal. It is
very much based on your experience.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Yes, So it makes no sense.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
So and I would like any of Sarah's childhood friends
to come to the front and tell us some bad
choices that Sarah has made, because I'm sure she has
not exempt. I'm sure she has made some bad choices.
I'm sure she's done some frivolous shit with her pussy,
because pussies do that sometimes. I'm sure she might have
had a hope sweet sixteen like everybody else, or maybe not.
But I guarantee you there's not zero bad choices that

(49:57):
you've made and that don't make you permanent, stained or
terrible or unworthy of marriage or love or et cetera.

Speaker 4 (50:06):
Amen, Amen, Amen to women as a women in all
of it, and mothers.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Yeah, in all stages and phases.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
This season of the Internet is like such a clear
indication of what it looks like when the woman is fragmented.
For so long, we've only been allowed like the only
version of an acceptable, worthy woman looks like this.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Like this, like this, like this.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
So when you see a woman where what she wants
or say no, I did leave and I was fine.
When you see a woman step outside of this like
super rigid mold of whatever, this fucking virgin Mary housewife
character that you've created in your head, it's so alarming.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
And she's run.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
Through and she's this, and she's unworthy and she's frivolous
with her body and she got two baby daddies and
now she's worthless. This is why women have to show
up in their full feathers, in every embodiment and every
piece of us, Like we're not a monolith. We are
literally fucking, fluid, fucking powerful goddesses. We rage, we'll kill,

(51:17):
we'll protect, we'll fight, will love, you, will nurture you,
will water you, will literally feed you.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
We will give you life, and.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
We'll dance on a table and we'll drink and the
same life we gave as a product of the pleasure
we're experiencing and the sensuality in our body. You cannot
have a piece of the woman without having the whole
fucking thing. And that's why we're in a society that
loves women but fucking hates them. They love pussies but
hate women. It's crazy. I'm looking on the internet and
niggas are like being gay as fuck in the comments,

(51:48):
like full full homo straits. There's a so many homo straits.
Oh my god, nay, I don't have the niggat On
the fucking stupid ass podcast, the Fit in the Fury
or whatever the fucking stupid fit in the.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
Said in the Manisphere, ill.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
Pussy's female female vagina's discussed.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
I saw that.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
First of all, what the fuck is a female vagina?

Speaker 1 (52:20):
What the other kind of vaginas are there? The other
ones that he's playing with. The point is that's called
they call that.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
Yeah, and and and for the bitches, stop doing this,
stop stop stop for a be smarter, be be yourself.
See stop feeding into this fucking fairy tale bullshit.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Because everybody's confused and unplugged from the matrix.

Speaker 4 (52:48):
Because there's also like I feel like social media validation
is a poison, and you see how it infiltrates certain
people that don't have like a super power. I don't know,
they don't have like the foundation, yeah, the foundation, or
like I don't know, the belief in themselves. I don't
know what the real friend like that too, and like

(53:08):
just like how toxic it can be. It can be,
because that's really what I see on so many pages
is just like the repurposing of this narrative because she's
spoken on this many many times, different ways all the time,
different ways all the time, and.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
It's for this, It's for this exact reason.

Speaker 4 (53:26):
It's like what I said to like make women rage
and feel and feel unworthy. And I don't really know
what she what she gets from that, Like it's it's
it's I don't, I don't, I don't get it.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
Well, maybe is she a doctoring her service and she's
a plant. She's a I don't even know what that
word means. If you don't even have to be a plane.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
They love it. It's a real word.

Speaker 3 (53:46):
Anyway, Speaking of the matrix, I'm co hosting a play party.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
Oh what a beautiful intro.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
It's called Rage against the Machine. This is the Machine
and it's on Juneteenth, So come join us if you're in,
if you're not in La, Flying to La.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
I teamed up.

Speaker 3 (54:02):
With Michael Hollis, the Prince of Play, and I'm hosting
a Juneteenth play party with him here in La. And
it's about pleasure, revolutionary pleasure. So you could just chill
the fuck out and unplug and stop listening to bitches
on the internet and listen to yourself and listen to
your body and dress up and dress up.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Like the Matrix.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
Yeah, because death. It's also my birthday weekend, so come
hang out amazing anyway.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
Yeah, well that guides.

Speaker 4 (54:29):
Me into Horris horror stories, horror stories. We have a
horror submission. The title of this is Bohemian House of
Espresso plus Chy. I don't know why. I don't know

(54:53):
why it says that, but horror story, if you could
call it. That ended a relationship, and shortly after and
ended a relationship, and shortly after ended up having my
first threesome with two gentlemen who owned a cannabis company
together and were roommates in college at three am when
they realized there was only one room left wait. At
three am, when they realized there was only one condom left.

(55:15):
Both of them wanted to have sex with me. They
rock paper scissor battled for three rounds for who was
going to go to the store.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
I think I did it. We think if we did
read this, we did read it again. Okay, it went.

Speaker 4 (55:25):
To sunrise and was equal part sexy and hilarious because
of how attuned to each other and attuned to each
other and secure in the dynamic. Also, they're not American,
so that helps.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
It does help.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
It felt pretty great to experience that after being single
for the first time in almost eleven years.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Have fun, bitch, do the thing, honestly, literally make the
bad choice. Bitch, have some fun.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
I please have some fun, for the love of God,
because we don't really know what's going to happen.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Having two dicks come together for you, I'm pretty sure
is the cheat code to goddessness. There's some kind of
something goes off, some kind of signals go off in
your brain when you feel safe enough to do that,
and you're like kind of like power rangeers. You're like,
I did it, and it happened, and I was like,
literally in the moment in my head, I said, this
is why they tell you not to do this. I

(56:12):
literally was like, oh my god, I'm so cool, and
I was like, this is why they tell you how
to do this. And I've asked several other people and
they said the same thing. So all I'm saying, if
you have the opportunity to have a loving threesome with
two nice penises and two nice men that respect you,
it's all about your pleasure and it's not rape, and
it's just about you and it's safe.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
Do it.

Speaker 5 (56:28):
Do it?

Speaker 3 (56:29):
Okay, Remember this voice in your head, what would you
meanbly do do that? Remember all the speculations. Remember love
yourself everything with everything. Okay, just so you guys know,
we have a book. Everything we say you a have
to love yourself fell first, hoe later. Okay, these are
some things we've said. Okay, don't get digmatized. Don't be

(56:52):
a dumb bitch. These are the ten commandments of the
Good Moms.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
I think we need to start it. Don't be a
dumb bitch academy.

Speaker 4 (56:59):
I like, right, don't be a dumb bitch academy. Yeah,
I got the curriculum right here, it's right in this episode.
This is episode one.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
I literally don't be dumb bitch academy, the academy to
make finding your husband, since husbands are so hot on
the streets.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
Right now, we're gonna sell a husband.

Speaker 4 (57:17):
Yeah, do you want to wind up at the day
at the end of the whole husband healthy Wait, but
the gag is and at the end of the whole
academy like you don't surprise, just kidding.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
This is how you don't find a husband. That's how
you find yourself, bitch. Now, this is how you find yourself.
And whoever comes that's never worth it. But it might
take a little bit longer, but you will find him.
Don't worry. It just might not be right now after
these twelve weeks.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
I mean, but seriously, a PSA announcement for the bitches
like stop like I don't want to see one more bitch,
get a boyfriend and your pictures stop thirsting, like bitch,
we need you to stay the same after the relationship.
I need bitches to show up as themselves.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
Please continue. I can't be the only one.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
Oh my god, I went to speaking about choice invited
me snoop Dog's wife has all all male strip club.
Apparently at his had his compound, so dune me look.

Speaker 4 (58:02):
Kept saying compound, and I was like, like, what a house?

Speaker 1 (58:06):
Like where are we are? We in a warehouse section.

Speaker 3 (58:08):
Hinder like a warehouse by the airport.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
It is a compound. There's security.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
There is this male lip there No, no, I think
he just has a lot of shit going on there.
But this back in the back is the boss ladies.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Mail strip club.

Speaker 3 (58:20):
Okay, thirty dollars to get in open bar, top shelf
licker their polls. No, niggas don't use poles, no, no,
but but.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
The niggas were hood as fucked.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
They're good, nice bodies, they're cute, but they probably gay
banged this morning like they were hood Wait what do
you mean they like? Oh oh, they were literally like
wearing red and blue bandanas like it was some hood niggas.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
They were stripping.

Speaker 3 (58:48):
Anyway, I had like a shot as soon as I
walked to the door, and the MC had to say
several times on the microphone, you.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
Are not to show, you are not to show. You
think I would be embarrassed, but not at all. I
just kept coming back every periodically, every three songs, I'd be.

Speaker 4 (59:04):
Like, how about now was because nope, was anybody in
there doing anything? There was a lot of people there,
but they're saying were they participating?

Speaker 3 (59:10):
Not enough? Not enough for my taste. So I decided
to crawl on the floor. Anyway, I was like posting
some of the story and like the stripper was like
holding me up. I was like throwing my jacket to
the to the audience and like going up and down
and putting.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Money on him.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
I was doing the sherry thing. He just someone had
the usher thing. And someone commented in my and my
DMS and said, my husband would fucking kill me. I said,
my husband knows you've married a wild bitch. And the
next day I was like, look, babe, they kicked me
off the stage like three times.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Look look did you see my stories? He's like, yeah, girl,
I saw. I was like, I got so drunk. He's like, bitch.

Speaker 3 (59:43):
Anyway, I'll have to say, you could be yourself and
you could be married, and that's it. Love yourself, don't
be a dumb bitch. Look out for our academy. It's
coming soon, you guys. I think it's Tarot time.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Tarot time. Do you want to pick or do you
want me to?

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
I think you should pick?

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
Okay, The Queen of Pentacles I like this card.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Queen of Pentacles.

Speaker 4 (01:00:36):
Give me money, honey, abundance, love, respect, everything I.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
Need, Queen of Pentacles. And that's the thing. When you know,
without a shadow of a doubt, your worth and everything
that you need comes to you, It's like so easy. Okay,
let's see what the Queen of Pentacles is talking about.
The create of Pentacles is the nurturing mother of the
material world. At home, she knows her love for others

(01:01:05):
by cooking nutritious meals, maintaining a clean and inviting home,
and giving warm cuddles to those who needed most. She's
also able to work a full time job and make
a financial contribution to the household, often as the primary breadwinner.
She is masterful at taking care of the practical needs
of work, home, and family, while also giving her love
and support to those she cares about. The Queen of
Pentacles appears in a trail reading when you're embodying the

(01:01:27):
ultimate working parent archetype, you care for your family and
domestic responsibilities while also making a living for yourself and
creating financial abundance. You can maintain a healthy balance between
home and work by integrating the two and finding your
place of flow and alignment. You strive to create a
warm and secure environment for your family and loved ones
while giving your love and support freely. This is literally

(01:01:50):
the embodiment of the single mother. I don't know what
other card we could have. Possibly this is literally mm hmmm.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
I say I, Shay, I receive it and then like
a collective.

Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
Similarly, the Queen of Pentacle suggests that it is important
to you to live independently with a stable income and
with enough time and space to also nurture your loved ones.
You may be trying to strike a better balance between
your home and work lives, giving it your all both domains,
giving all in both domains. At this time, you find
time for yourself and prioritize me time in between all
of your other commitments. Love yourself and everything else will follow.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
Amen.

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
Do we have an affirmation for the for the girls today?

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
Single motherhood doesn't devalue my worthiness. Single motherhood that a
shit single motherhood.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
Single moms are the shit.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
Single moms, Single moms are the shit. Fuck. What Sarah
Fontinan's talking about kind of has a rate to it.

Speaker 4 (01:02:57):
That's the affirmation, all right, So say that over and
over again every time someone tries to shame you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
Just remember single mother to the ship. We don't have
to say her name.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
It's it's so stupid that we have to prefer preface
it with well, it's not because I chose it, because it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
Didn't work out, because well I'm not a single mom.
Because bitch.

Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
Oh my goodness, well yes that speaks volumes, and thank
you for that affirmation.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
It's been no problem. We're gonna have brush off the dome.
It's gonna look great on it's gonna go viral, just
like her, I know, and I have to be a mom. Sucks.
She got your pajamas on. Sure, well, I guess we'll

(01:03:48):
see you guys next time. I love you. Wait should we?
Should you say? The retreat sign up for the tree.

Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
That's actually that's the speed up of Don't be a
Dumb Bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
That's the accelerated program. It truly is. It's the Good Vibe.

Speaker 4 (01:04:03):
Retreat is the accelerated Don't be a Dumb Bitch Academy.
It's like, don't be dune bitch on crack and maybe
you'll find your husband next year after you come to
the retreat.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
The summer.

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
Literally, it's a manifest manifestation intensive. It's don't be dumb
bitch intensive. It's a settle your nervous system intensive. It's
a who am I? What is my voice inside? And
it's everything, and it's friendship and community and we'll be there.
I actually went with Toyo to the strip club from
the retreet.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Did she enjoy yourself? Did she get in there? She
did it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:30):
She was just like taking secret videos in me and saying, bitch,
you're crazy. I said, yeah all the time, but yeah,
I don't be dumb bitch, and come to the retreat
if you have any plans this summer.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
We are going to be there July twenty fourth through
the twenty ninth.

Speaker 4 (01:04:46):
Yep, and make sure you subscribe to this motherfucking YouTube
and leave a comment on Apple podcasts.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
Just show your girl some love. Just look in the
links and the comments and do the things and we'll
see next. Wakang Jes.

Speaker 5 (01:05:02):
Yeah, I'm living so good, can't you tell? I went
through a drought.

Speaker 1 (01:05:06):
That's until I found out, Well, may my have been known?

Speaker 5 (01:05:08):
Earth that used to be broken Hell now got the
blues handser like Beyonce, justall throat shot with popping his
cow wearing our voices.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
Patriarchy kept it in the box to exploit it. Women
put the pee in power, so it's pointless.

Speaker 5 (01:05:20):
They want me to be good, so I made that choice.
Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom
getters in on put cannabis in their bath. Bon walked
in bossas cap and I blew his cat ball hot dog.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Now I'm immune to the cat call.

Speaker 5 (01:05:33):
Heard me and no waisted straight to it like a
dollar sign. Mother rent the lover went to it like
a water someone where you're rent, the winter resentual will
win the summer time

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Erica Dickerson

Jamilah Mapp

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