December 17, 2024 • 40 mins
Much like the staggering beauty of her voice, Audra McDonald is impossible to ignore. The only artist to sweep all four acting categories at the Tony’s, she’s the most decorated Broadway star of all time. Reviews of her award-winning performances overflow with accolades, describing her stage presence as “spellbinding,” “haunting,” and “genius.” But for the California native, things haven’t always been easy. She talks to Alec about getting into Juilliard, making it on Broadway, and the suicide attempt that helped shape who she is today.
Originally aired July 25, 2017
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, it's Alec Baldwin here. Before we launch our next
season of Here's the Thing at iHeartRadio in January, I
thought I'd play some of my favorite shows from the archives.
Audra McDonald occupies a unique place in the American theater.
With six Tony Awards, she has the most of any
actress in history. She is renowned for her work in
(00:23):
opera as well as in films and on television. Here
is my conversation with Audra McDonald.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Svens fesh hoatch money.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Much like the staggering beauty of her singing, Audra McDonald
is impossible to ignore. The only person to sweep all
four acting categories at the Tonys, she's one of the
most decorated Broadway stars of all time. Reviews of her
award winning performances overflow with accolades. She's spellbinding, radiant, and
(01:21):
wrenchingly human. This year, the Juilliard graduate took on her
first voice over role, playing Madame Gardrobe in Disney's Beauty
and the Beast. The performance was so great one critic
wrote that her name and the credits prompted theatergoers to
erupt in cheers. I sat down with Audre before her
(01:42):
debut this summer in London's West End, where she takes
on Billy Holliday, whose life as a black female performer
hits close to home.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Specifically for me, I would say that there was an
expectation on my part that things would get easier as
a result of being successful. You know, well, what do
you mean, they're going to make more money than I am.
And yeah, we're doing the same thing, we're playing. We're
basically equal as far as the roles are concerned.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Or what did you do to address that? If anything?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I didn't. For I didn't do anything for a while
I should have, and I didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I just went along well.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
And especially you know, when you're an actor, it's like
you're always being told you should be grateful you've got
the job, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
So being told that if you if you push too much,
you're going to get a bad reputation for being Yes, yes,
and I those actors that are infinitely less talented than
you who all the time they're.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Just easy to easier to work with, and they don't
they don't cause in terms.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Of being an African American performer, did that change?
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Well, I tell you, I mean, let me give you
an example of how in some ways it changed and
didn't change. I have to I have to acknowledge the
fact that I am someone who has had uh an
incredible opportunity in terms of sort of breaking down barriers
as far as like color blind casting, being color blind
cast as Carrie Pepperridge in Carousel, you know, or the
(03:04):
fact that I played Mother Abbess and the Sound of
Music Live, you know, and you know a lot of
people have issues with that, but you know, I was
the one that got the opportunity to do that. You know,
when I was doing Annie for ABC, they did a
version of that with Kathy Bates and Victor Garber and
Alan Comming and Kristin Chenowith, and they cast me as
(03:26):
Grace Ferrell and there was a scene at the end
where Grace Ferrell and Daddy Warbooks proposes to Grace Ferrell
at the end, the happy endings happening. You know. Warbocks, Yes,
he was my daddy. I love him too. And actually
you'll appreciate this. We were sitting around one day on
the set and you know, in the big gorgeous mansion
(03:47):
that Daddy war Books has, and we were sitting between
takes and I was sitting next to Victor, and I
just got a little emotionally. I said, Victor, what if
this was really our house and we were really getting
married and we had all this money in this life?
And he said, in the just true Victor fashion, Darling,
get a hold of yourself. You can total Victors saying
(04:07):
that right. But anyway, so we were filming Brier, Yeah,
we're we were filming Annie, and so we shot the
scene where you know, Daddy Warbucks gives Grace Ferrell the
ring and it's lovely. And then we get word that
we have to come in on a Saturday to do
some reshoots. And Rob Marshall was directing, and Neil Maren
(04:30):
and Craig Zayden, who were wonderful, wonderful producers and have
been very kind to me over the years and give
me a lot of work. They cast me in Sound
of Music as mother Abbess, and they said we have
to do some reshoots, and then they took me aside
and said, it turns out that Disney might be a
little uncomfortable or the powers that be. I don't know
if it was Disney abcre, I don't know. We are comfortable.
(04:52):
There might be some issues with Daddy Warbucks actually marrying Grace,
So what year was this? Nineteen ninety nine? So we
need to reshoot the scene and do it without.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
You're hooking up with Daddy Warbucks.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Giving Yeah, And I was devastated. I was I was devastated.
It's one of those things where you know you're starting
to feel good, You're starting to feel like, oh, there's
really change coming. Things are happening here. I am playing
this role and it's it's Annie, but nobody cares.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And it's what did everybody else feel? Including Victor?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I think everybody and Rob I think they were all
kind of horrified, and you.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Know, and also did they use in the product in
the film?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Rob said, Okay, so we're all going to come in
on a Saturday, and you know how expensive that is
when you're only shooting Monday through Friday. Come in on
a Saturday just to reshoot the scene. So everybody comes
in and we get dressed up in that moment for
that scene, and Rob does one big master take of
Daddy Warbucks just sort of going, hey, and bit buddy, buddy,
(05:55):
it's great in this great this happened? Okay, kid, exactly?
You over there, you person, you and he got one shot,
one master take one shot, and then Rob said, okay,
got that, so while we're here, and then he proceeded
to reshoot other things that he thought he could make.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
It, so he tanked it to it. He did tank it,
and so they couldn't use it.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
So they ended up using where So you look in
the film and Daddy Warbucks proposes to Grace Ferrell in
that and that's because that's because of Rob, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, and his courage.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
His courage. Absolutely. And then at the end of the
year when the film came out, Time magazine said something,
or maybe it was a newsweek any of the said
that in Things that Happened this Year, Daddy Warbucks Mary
is a black Grace Ferrell and nobody cares. So I
don't know what that's the answer to, but it's just
an issue of things that you know, you think, you
get to a certain point where you know things are changing,
(06:50):
and then boom, you're sort of slammed back into that reality.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
What are you in the middle of doing now?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
I can't remember you're doing?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You rehearsing some show?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yes, yes, I say so, I've got a lady day.
It was on the West End.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're going to go to London.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, I've never been. No, I've never performed on the
West End.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
That's what I mean. You've never performed over there.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Not I performed, but never on the West End. I've
never I've done like concerts and stuff that I've never
done a show.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You never did a legit show?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
What of the places outside of New York have you performed?
That's an interesting thing to think about.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Well, in terms of like concert work everywhere, but actual shows,
I've only done, Well, that's not true. I did the
Secret Garden Tour million years ago, so you do kind
of a national tour, you go all over the place. No, La, Yeah,
I did it, but as you know, ensemble member, you know.
And then I did Masterclass. It is the only other
one that I did. I did that in LA and
(07:41):
at the Kennedy Center. We did the taper at the
Kennedy Center and Plays and Players in Philadelphia before we
came into New York. But that's been the nineties.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Do you find that you stay in New York and
try to stay in New York if that's home and
that's easier for you, and well, yeah, I mean it
is Broadway.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
It's Broadway and that's where I want to be. Yeah,
but especially since since having kids, you know, I mean,
do you have no Well, I have a six month old,
and I have a sixteen year old, and I have
two step sons who are sixteen and thirteen.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
So it's you have a sixteen year old and that's yours,
that's mine, and you have a six month old that's mine,
that's yours.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yes, yes, you know what that's like, having a bit
of a spread in between.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You had a kid when you were very young, the sixteen.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Year old, Well, that's very kind of you to say. No,
I was thirty when I had my first and now
I'm forty six and.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
You want to have another baby?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
I you know, I or you were drunk on a
sailboat with your husband?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
What happened? Which is it?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Which is it? It's it's it's somewhere in between. It's
really that the Broncos won the Super Bowl. Seriously, my god,
and my husband is a big Broncos fan, and nine
months later history the rest is Sally James McDonald's Winson. No, yeah,
what are you gonna dow?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Was that for you? Because I mean, I don't always
want to ask. I was saying, how I want to
do another show, but I don't want to be away
at dinner time every night. Yeah, for four to six months,
That's what's that like? Do you bring the kids to
the theater?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I did, well, I certainly did with my sixteen year old.
When she was little, she was at the theater all
the time with me. That was kind of the only way.
And I imagine, well, I know for a fact, when
I'm in London, I'm staying very close to the theater,
and she'll be at the theater. And and if I
were to get another Broadway show, I would just bring
(09:28):
her there because you don't want to you don't want
to miss anything, and you don't you don't want to
make them feel like.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
What about the baby?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
But yeah, the baby will come. Absolutely, she has.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
To just be with you right up till the half hour.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
That's what I've been doing now this year, you know,
since i've had her, I've started back concertizing and literally
I've had her backstage with either my husband when he
can join me, or my babysitter, and I will sing
and then run off stage and nurse her and then
you know, go do your meet and greet or whatever.
And actually during one concert she was really fussy, and
(10:00):
so my husband went on and performed, and I ran
off stage and nursed her and called her down and
they went back on stage. Crazy crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Where did you meet him? Your husband?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
We met doing one hundred and ten in the Shade,
the show on Broadway back in two thousand and seven. Yeah,
it was a long time ago, really, Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
it was a crazy time too. I met him and
then my dad was killed in the plane crash like
a couple of weeks, like about six weeks later. Your dad,
he was a high school principal that you grew.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Up in California. Yeah, but you were born in Germany.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I was born in Germany.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
What was he doing over there?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
He was in the he was in the army. Yeah,
and then yeah, I was raised in Fresno, California, and
my dad was a high school principal and then he
went on to become an associated superintendent of schools there.
But his passion was flying and he flew small planes
and he had his own and he was he had
just recently retired and he had his own plane that
he was flying, and yeah, he had Where were you
(10:58):
that I was actually walking. I just finished the matinee
of one hundred and in the shape. We were still
in previews and I was walking with my husband. He
wasn't my husband at the time, he was just a
friend at the time. A bunch of us were walking
to meet the rest of the cast to have you know,
a post you know, Sunday matinee drink with the entire cast,
and my stepmom called.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
And said, my dad was remarried.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yes, he was remarried. And you yes, my mom was
She lives next door to me in the city. Yeah, yeah,
or yeah, in Westchester. When she retired she left town breath, yes, yes,
but yeah. My stepmom called me and said, and I
was just I was on fifty third Street between eighth
and ninth Avenues, and it was it was It's interesting,
(11:46):
you know in those moments, you know, you see what
happens in film and you think it'll be similar, you know,
in real life, and it's it seldom is you know,
as an act Well, I didn't. I didn't compute what
she was saying. You know, she said, your dad, dad
had an accident while he was flying the plane and
he didn't make it. And I kept saying, oh, I
(12:07):
said okay, so where is he now? And she said, Audra,
he didn't make it. I was like, okay, well where
it is? Yeah, but I wasn't. It wasn't computing either,
you know, and I was just really stunned. And it
took it took a day for me to really start
to cry, you know, because it just it ver close
to him, yeah, yeah, very close, and it just wasn't
(12:28):
making sense, you know. So it's interesting. I mean, it's
been ten years on it'll be ten years actually next
week that he's since his passing, and but it's just interesting.
As an actor, this sounds so cold and callous and
it's not. It's not meant to be. But as an actor,
there was a part of me that was sort of
floating away from my body watching the scene, going, I
don't think you're having the right.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Reaction, right, you know, I don't process.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, that's not you know, if this were a scene,
you'd fall to the ground and you know, break into
a million pieces, and you're not doing that. You're you're
playing the scene. It's so strange. But actually I know
exactly when I really started to cry about my dad's passing,
and it was I found out. We were getting ready
to open one hundred and ten in the Shade, and
(13:12):
so we were getting ready to go into critics Week
where critics are coming and they're saying, I'm saying I
have to go, and they're saying, you're the star of
the show. You can't leave as I have to. And
so they canceled a couple of shows so I could
fly home to California.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
This is for their father's funeral. Yeah, they said, you
can't leave.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Well, they were just they were like, how do we
do this? You know? And actually it was at the
end of it was like right at Tony, what's it
called it? When it's the cutoff time? Had qualification time,
So everybody was like, what do we do? So they
were kind enough to cancel enough shows for me to
run home for the funeral and trying to work that
out with my stepmom who was devastated and you know,
(13:49):
really broken, and trying to keep her together and keep
the family together and figure it all out. And it
wasn't until after the funeral you're saying hello to everybody.
And I just kind of kept it together the whole time.
And then as soon as I agreed it, like the
thirtieth person or something here, like a thousand people at
his funeral. He was very very well known and very
loved in Fresno, California. And his older sister came and said,
(14:14):
how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
And that's when I lost it, when you emptied out.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I emptied out. But it was you know. But once again,
that's not how I mean. Maybe maybe a good director,
but that's not how I just imagine the film.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
It was an actress. You're always controlling and managing your feelings. Anyway,
there was the lovers and knobs and dials inside of us.
They were in there playing with all them. Yes, of
course we get paid for you know. So you moved
to Fresno when you grew up in Fresno beginning at
what age?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I was nine months old?
Speaker 1 (14:41):
To me, you're your little baby. So you're a child.
And so there's the Order McDonald who grows up in California. Yeah,
there's the Order of McDonald, who now is one of
the princesses of the Broadway Theater. There's like a Mount Rushmore.
It's you and burned Itad and all these chicks. Now,
who are these the greatest singers in the world? And
I want to talk about the audre in between. So
(15:03):
the order in between when you first started into the business,
when people are hiring you and as you're building your
career in New York and singing, what were they hiring
you for?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Well, I think it had more to do with if
I look back on it now, and no one's ever
asked me this, So kudos to you.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Well, I do try.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
You've got the talent, But I think it had more
to do with I wasn't what people were expecting, you know,
back in those days. Can I say back in those days, Yeah,
the early nineties. You know, you'd go an audition for
something and they'd see an African American girl in her
twenties walk in, and I think they'd expect some big
(15:43):
gospel voice, or you know, they're like, can you be
street smart? You know all those code words and whatnot,
And I would sort of break out with the pseudo
operatic voice that had Broadway qualities and was a bit goofy,
and so I think it just intrigued people and anything.
I think that's even how I got into Juilliard. When
I auditioned for Juilliard and I wasn't, you know, I
(16:04):
wasn't really wanting to pursue classical music, but I thought,
I'll audition on the strength of my voice. That's that's
my strength.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Was that a goal to go to Juilliard?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Well, I wanted to go to New York. I wanted
to live in New York Juilliard was it Lincoln Center,
you know, you know the good beginning, Yeah, And I
thought I'd be able to get like my acting classes
in nancing class as well. I was there. I didn't
realize that once you're in a program, once you're in
a department, you know you shall not stray, you stay
in that department, and you know, so I just went
(16:32):
in there an audition, didn't really know what I was doing,
and kind of riffed at the end of a Mozart area.
You're not supposed to riff with Mozart, and I did.
And I said, I was a meto soprano and I'm
singing subrette, you know, roles for them, showing them. I
sang a subrette aria from the note to figure out
maryaifigure out.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And so for people who don't know what subrette is,
what is that? I'm one of those people, by the
way you do surete.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Well, Subrette is sort of like a really high light soprano,
not necessarily coloratura, but she's like a young, sweet heroine,
lighter sound, not like a full lyric soprano. And so
it's a lot of people say the ena roles despina
or it's their lina, the little cute roles. So anyway,
that's what I sang. I sang one of those arias.
(17:14):
But then I said I'm a mezzo soprano, which I
just was just that just showed how much I didn't know,
how little I do. And they laughed at me and
they said how old are you and I said I'm
seventeen and they just said okay, And I thought, well,
I blew that. And then two weeks later they called
me and said, we want you to come to Juilliard.
But I don't think I think it was just intrigue
(17:37):
on their part.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Are you there for four years? Well, would you start working?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
No? I was there for five years.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
But you finished there, you graduated from there.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Yeah. I took a leave of absence because I had
a suicide attempt actually while I was there, So I
took a leave of absence. There's a lot that happened
between the Order and Presner, California and the Order who's
on Broadway.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Now, okay, we're going to cover as much of that
as you care to time.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I'm completely open about it.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So you're in Juilliard, Yeah, what years was that? That
five years was from when to when?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
It was from nineteen eighty eight to nineteen ninety three.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Right, So when you're there, was it trouble for you
fitting in? Did you feel uncomfortable and out of place?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
There?
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Absolutely was that a part of what led you to
do what you did.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah, I felt out of place artistically. I felt all
my life growing up in Preston, California, all I ever
wanted to do was beyond Broadway. And then I thought,
you know, let me audition for Juilliard. Just didn't think
it through audition, got in. So everybody back at home
is like, wow, Udra got into Juilliard in New York.
She's you know, she's gonna make it. And then I
get to Juilliard and I'm studying classical music. I'm like,
(18:40):
this isn't what I want to do. I don't want
to be an apt for singer. Why surely they're going
to let me go take some acting classes. Surely it
go do some dance less and surely didn't go an
audition for Broadway shows. No, you have to just study,
you know.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You are enjoying it.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
No, And I felt lost. I felt completely lost. I
felt like I was offering about that.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
But that alone, I'm assuming me if I'm wrong, didn't
lead you to do something drastic. What else?
Speaker 5 (19:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
I mean, well, you know, to an extent you can
say yeah, well, you know, like I said, I'm open
about it because you know, I think I'm a case
of it gets better, you know. But I so I
was lost in terms of that, and then feeling like
I couldn't just quit and go back home because I
would look like a failure back at home. And you know,
I had boy trouble while I was there. And so
(19:25):
the culmination of being where I wanted to be in
New York City, thinking I'm finally going to realize my dreams,
stuck and failing miserably at Juilliard, not being able to
admit to anybody at home what was going on, Not
being able to go home because I would have looked
like a failure, living literally on Broadway, on Broadway, my apartment,
my address was Broadway twenty five oh eight Broadway third.
(19:49):
I lived with the residential of the old Broadway like well,
the wild wild West.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Anything north of Baby sixth Street, forget.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
It, you not in those days, shield and a sword
to go to the grocery store, right and crazy to
look at it now, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
But what I'm curious about is that the woman, the
young woman from Fresno, who goes to New York. And again,
let me put a fine point of this before you answer,
which is, and you say you have boy troubles? Are
you dating a different kind of boy now with Juliet? No,
but the boys were hard for you to understand.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
No, I was, you know, I was.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Was that all the same?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Well? I was just not being treated well by a boy. Yeah,
boys are the same.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
All boys in the same where you go? Yeah, Ok,
thank you. My guest has been ugum McDonald everyone, good night, everybody. No,
but but but but the reason I asked is I
want to Are you a fish out of water in
every way?
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yes? I was a fish out of water in every
way except for the fact that I was in New York,
which is what I knew I wanted. I knew that
much was right, but everything else I kept you grounded, yes,
but everything else was wrong. And so you know, in
those days I was, you know, twenty twenty one. I
couldn't see past the fact that I had gotten here
and everything up up to now had gone swimmingly, and
(21:02):
all of a sudden it was all falling apart.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And if you don't know my asking what what were
the the ramp up the time and what you were
thinking and feeling? And the only reason I asked this
for people who listen to this, who might be young
people and artists who experience a certain kind of pain
that you experience in this business that I think is
very unique, because you exude in your work. You seem
so confident and so powerful.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Well, I think it's because I'm now, I'm I'm where
I'm supposed to be. I'm doing what I'm supposed to
be doing. I'm doing what I think if you want
to get I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
You're not playing the e Ina roles anymore.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
No, no, no, But I it's more about I'm artistically fulfilled.
I think my artistic soul is fulfilled. It's doing what
it's supposed to do.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
You agree, look copy to me.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Not that she doesn't still find challenges coming up. Audra
McDonald talks about a song that's been rather hard to sing.
Audra McDonald isn't the only star who struggled to find
her voice.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
I mean when I tell people I was extremely shy
and nobody believes me.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Now that's the thing that people have to overcome.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
You know, I've found a lot of comedians to be
extraordinarily serious and draws withdrawn sometimes, So yeah, I think
sometimes we overcome things by going after the very thing
that really eludes us.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
To hear more about Renee Fleming's story, go to Hear's
Thething dot org. This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening
to Here's the Thing. If ever there was a track
record that warranted dividum, it is Audra McDonald's. But despite
her unparalleled fame, the Queen of Broadway is disarmingly humble,
(23:10):
perhaps the mark of a person who's endured great pain
in her case. While studying at Juilliard, this.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Was my third year and it had been just yet
another year of floundering and doing poorly in all my classes,
and teachers just saying you know, you've got to give
over to your operatic sound and me not wanting to,
not knowing what that was. And when I would get
close to an operatic sound, I'd say, I don't want
to sound like that. So I felt like I was
(23:41):
just being pushed and they were doing their job rightfully.
So this is like, this is your Juilliard to study.
This is what you're going to do to push me
into a place that just wasn't me artistically. So that
coupled with being you know, twenty twenty one by yourself
in New York and being treated poorly by whatever his
name was, what's his name? We're going to say that no, no, no, no, no,
(24:07):
he's he's fine. He's a great guy now, but at
any rate, So all of that combined with me being
sort of like the great hope from my hometown too.
You know, Order's gonna make it. If anybody's gonna make
it on Broadway, it's going to be Order. I I
the boy was the catalyst that sort of like sort
of broke that. It was the star that broke the
(24:27):
camel's back. But it was three years of I'm in
the wrong place, doing the wrong thing. I'm failing miserably,
but I'm here in Disneyland, where I'm supposed to be,
where I said I wanted to be, so I sored
you do I I slit my wrists one night?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
What happened? And written about this?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
I haven't, I guess I should. I speak about it
all the time, but maybe one day I'll write about it.
Found you I I I slipped my wrists and then
realized what I had done and called the affairs director
who I had become close with, and said, I helped me,
and someone came and helped you, and they helped me,
and they took me to a mental hospital. It's interesting
(25:11):
this mental hospital still there, Gracie Square Hospital. It's next
door to my ob gyn who delivered my six month
old's what a circuit that is.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
So I almost didn't make it, and now I made
it and I'm in this.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I had to pass it, you know, every week to
go to my obgyn appointment, I had to pass Gracie
Square Hospital. And every time I passed it, there was
a part of me just, you know, waddling down the
street pregnant as can be. Some twenty nine years later,
I would I would. I felt such relief and joy,
and you know, a sense of yes, I get the
(25:52):
big picture.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Now, what month in the school year was that that
that happened. It was January or February, So it was
at the midpoint. Let's say, and you take off obviously
when you come back, when you come back the following fall,
you don't.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
I came back the following fall for a little bit,
and then I got an opportunity to audition for something
that ended up that I ended up being the Secret
Garden actually, and I asked the you know, administration office
and my the dean, what I should do, and they said,
you know, go do that. It's okay, take the time
(26:24):
off to go do that. It seems like that's where
you want to be, so and.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
They probably didn't want to disappoint.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
You at that point.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
At that point that point they were like, sure, go
go you want to go sing on and go, go
do it. Yeah, we don't ever want to get your way.
You know.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
The thing is there was actually a lot, not a lot,
but they had a special arrangement with Gracie Square Hospital.
There were a couple of other Juilliard students there that
I had wondered what had happened to I was there.
I was at the hospital for me. But Grace's Square,
I think is private hospital. I was there for a month.
They evaluated me and said, you you're not going anytime soon?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
And did that change you?
Speaker 3 (27:02):
I was so heavily medicated. I was heavily medicated.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
When you say that, it's so compelling to me because
when I see you, I think of you. I think
of you like you know, you're so strong your personality
and perform. I view you as a person that's going
to go. I'm going back into the burning building to
save the baby.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Well that is me now, yeah, but I think maybe
that experience helped make me that now. I mean, look,
I'm still a mess. I mean everybody's a mess, always
a mess. I you know, and I what, I understood
a lot going on. Yeah, and I realized, you know,
I'm someone who suffers from depression. But I learned in
the years A how to deal with it. B to
find you know, find my joy and see to realize that,
(27:42):
like alcoholism, it's something that you wake up every day
and you say, yeah, that's still something that I have
to deal with, as opposed to saying, oh, I'm just
not depressed anymore. Just but to learn how to cope
with that, and my art gives me a lot of
joy and keeps me, keeps me strong.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
So what's the first job you do? This is a
tired question, but I can't help back ask you, especially
with somebody like you, what's the first job when you do?
When you sit there and go, I got this. I
think I got this, like I'm over the no no
meaning you know that the sky is the limit for you.
You're out there and you're doing it, and you're connecting
to that material you know, and you go, I think
(28:19):
I really really have a shot at my dream coming true.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Here it was Sally Murphy and she was she was
Julie Jordan, and I played Carry Pippridge and it was
the guy Michael Hayden was with Hayden, Yes, yes, yes,
Nick Heitner at Lincoln Center, which is also crazy for
me to then open, you know, in Carousel at Lincoln Center,
where at Vivian Momont Theater where you can look up
and I can see the school that I, you know,
(28:44):
had a hard time in and and I remember standing
in those in those windows at Juilliard looking at Vivian Beaumont,
seeing Patty Lapone performing there and going why am I
not doing that.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
And then how'd you feel.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Like the luckiest survivor in the world. I mean, and
I felt a sense of gratitude, a sense of relief,
and a sense of Okay, I get it. I now
get that I was on my path.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Out the window of one place is your future. Out
the window of Juilliard, where you try to snuff yourself
is the Vivian Beaumont, where you're going to do carousel
across the streets, always a vista for you. What might
have been was, which was something not bad and wonderful? Yeah,
I mean babies and Tony Awards and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I think I think what I realized is there's a
bigger picture. And I think, you know, it's very easy
to you know, just get into tunnel vision, especially when
you're young and you know it's only you that you're
having to think about and not but that's a bad thing.
But it's just easy to get buried very quickly under
emotion and fear and disappointment and all that. And I
(30:01):
just think that I learned to have a bigger picture
about life.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
We're taking a break, so stay with us. Once you
become extraordinarily successful in the busines. You won your first
Tony Award for what show? For Carousel? And you're how old?
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Twenty three?
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Your child and you when you you were fresh out
of that situation, you weren't far that far we move
from that situation.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Was two and a half years away from that situation
and a half years.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Later, which is nothing. Yeah, you win a Tony Award
and you've won six Tony Awards. Yes, you won the
most Tony Awards of anybody. Are you tied with somebody
you're tied with?
Speaker 4 (30:33):
No?
Speaker 5 (30:33):
Not with that.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
No.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
I love.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I love when people sit there and they go, oh,
I don't know. I don't keep track of that. I go, you, liar,
you got all your Tonies lined up?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
They do.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
No, I'm not you, I'm saying, but people in general,
I doubt you do. To actually but to embarrass you
even more than I already have. Good God, you are
enormously talented and everything clicks, and you're very, very successful,
and you're a gorgeous woman. Well you're a gorgeous woman.
And what did that do in terms of your career,
meaning that you could have gone and made films and
(31:08):
then a television series. Did you have a lot of
offers you swept aside.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
No, I've never had those offers. I mean, I did
one television series once where I played the best friend
in Private Practice to the main character show Private Practice,
Kate Walsh played Addison Montgomery and I played her best friend.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Did you do that?
Speaker 3 (31:28):
I did it for five six years. The show ran
for seven years, and I did it for five or
six years. But No, Hollywood has never really banged down
on my doors. And I think that's because you're very
kind to say I'm gorgeous, but I don't think I'm
the typical sort of look. I'm also a big girl,
and I'm proud of that, and I'm fine with that.
But you know, it's interesting when you go to Hollywood
(31:50):
and you see these people on the movie screens your
entire life, and then you see them in person and
they're all like one fourth of that taper airplay.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
What the hell didn't look well?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Do you want a cheeseburger?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (32:02):
No, no, no, I mean, it's say, look terrible, but
it's just for me. It's just like I I you know,
I think size wise that has something to do with it,
and I and I don't know that that's where I'm
at my strongest, right, you know, And I think it works.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
So hard to develop this perch you're in.
Speaker 5 (32:15):
Now.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
What's that like for you to have to go out
and wring yourself.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Out again and again every night. Well, the process for me,
I go really inside. I get really quiet. People around
me think that I'm angry with them before I do
a show because I just get very quiet and I
go inside and stay still. And I'm not. I'm not
one to kind of jump around and go visit other
dressing rooms. I just I have to kind of go
(32:39):
in and be super super super quiet and still because focus. Yeah,
because in a minute, you're going to have to turn
all of your insides out, and so if I'm giving
all that out beforehand, I will have nothing to get.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
What was one of the hardest ones for you, Lady Day.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Absolutely that was by myself on stage for an hour
and forty five minutes, just having to give it and
especially living that life that she led. I have to
have to live that on stage every night. That I
was no fun to be around before the show. After
the show, I was a ball because.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
That's very common.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yes, because I was thrilled it was over until the
next you know, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
I know.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I can't remember who. Oh, maybe it was Kathy Bates.
I can't remember who said this to me, but I said, well,
why don't you ever come back to Broadway or do
a show on Broadway? And I think it was Kathy Bage.
She said, oh, honey, oh that's hard. It's hard, and
she's right, you know it is, because especially when you think, Okay,
I've done it, I've given a good performance. I got
through that. You know, when you're doing a film, you're like, great,
it's in the can and now I'm off the cab
(33:36):
or whatever, you know. But Broadway it's like, and now
I have to do that again tomorrow night, and then
the next night after that and the next and it's
a blessing.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
At the end of every day. I got to go
to work exactly, you have that whole day and what
happens in that in the world. The worst thing for
me when I was acting was when I'd have a wonderful,
fun day and then I had to go to work
and wring myself out and some drive to go do
the Scottish play.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Yes, for me, it was always on Sunday matinee when
you're headed to your Sunday matinee. You're walking down ninth
Fablue and you're seeing everybody outside, either out of street
fair or having wine and runch. And I can't tell
you how many in the sun. I can't hedly tell
you how many times you're walking down ninth Faber you
just want to take your hand and wipe all the
food off of those sidewalk tables. It's like, that's not fair,
(34:18):
of course not. I mean, it's I'm doing what I
wanted to do my entire life.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
But there is that people are counting on you. Yes, amazing.
When I did Street Car, I got really sick and
I missed the show. I was out for it for
a weekend, the two Saturdays and the Sunday, and I
missed the show. But I go downstairs. I lived on
Central Park West. I go downstairs. I cross over to Broadway.
I'm on eighty six then Broadway on the northeast corner.
I'm going to cross over to William's Chicken Yes, and
(34:42):
get my soup.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
And I'm there and this little woman looks up to me.
It's like seven o'clock at night. It's a it's a
Friday night or a Saturday night rather, and she looks
up to me, this little owlish woman. She goes, aren't
you supposed to be on Broadway right now? And I thought,
it's town, flip the town.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
I have a story like that too. I mean, we
were it was New Year's Eve and Ethan Hawk had
been able to we were doing Henry the Fourth at
Lincoln Center, and he'd been able to get the entire
cast invited to the Plays and Players Club or a
what's the club over on the Players Club? Yes, for
New Year's Eve. So we're all there and we're all
celebrating and it's wonderful, but we're, you know, in and
amongst you know, the actual members of this club. And
(35:23):
it's New Year's Eve and I'm doing a play. And
I was still young, and I thought, I'm gonna have
a cigarette. You know, why not, I'm gonna have a cigarette.
And I don't smoke as a rule, but I just
decided it's New Year's Eve, I'm gonna have wine and
cigarettes and it'll be fun. So I was smoking out
on the little terrorists they have out there. I'm smoking
my cigarette. I'm chatting with some of my cast members
(35:44):
and an older woman who's a member of the play's club.
She comes up to me and she said, I'd say
you're Audra McDonald, but it couldn't possibly be her because
she wouldn't be smoking.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Never destroying her instrument.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
She wouldn't be smoking. And then she just sort of march, Now.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Who are people who in your life? In your career?
One might assume you've sung the song, sang the songs
of pretty much everyone you want to sing. Where is
there one that's gotten by you? Is there some composer
whose music you want to sing that you haven't sang.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
No, I wouldn't say that. I mean there's always young
com I am always championed the work of new, young
musical theater composers, so I'm always looking for new work
to do. There are certain songs that I stay away
from because I don't feel that I can do them properly.
For example, one that I have not been able to
conquer that I have tried a couple of times and
never done in public because I can't conquer it is
(36:37):
being Alive by Son Tim. I cannot. As much as
that song moves me and as much as it means
to me, every time I try and sing it, I
fail so I have not done it in public and
I and I won't until I figure it out. And
that is that strange?
Speaker 1 (36:52):
It is No, No, I mean, I'm sure there's people.
It's like in plays. I mean, I'm trying to roles.
I'm trying to think of.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
Right.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Do you have writers whose work you steer clear of
as a performer because you don't get it so you
don't know how to bring it to life. Not that
you don't enjoy watching.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
I might enjoy watching, you know, whatever. I want to
have in the theater. Life itself is so filled with
oddities now and surreal crap going on with the government
and everything. I want to see something which is really
I want some honesty. No, I need to have a
like oxygen. I need a big hit of honesty.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I you know, that's interesting. I was listening to a
performer on the way down here who i'd absolutely admire,
whose work I admire, and they were singing a song
that didn't, in my mind, seem quite right for them.
Not that they weren't singing it beautifully, but I thought,
I don't think they believe this. I don't. I think
they're trying something and they don't believe it, and there's
a part of me that thought, why am I thinking
(37:47):
that about them? I do that stuff all the time.
But I think you're right. There is something going on
right now in the zeitgeist that is sort of like
everybody is needing truth and needing needing something to ground
them and where is reality?
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Any sat tire? And my last question for you is, well,
first of all, describe for me, if you would, as
I try to, always think about people in your profession
and who do what you do as well as you
do a moment when you're on stage and you used
to go out there at night and you'd sing a
song and you knew you were going to kill these people,
you know, the minute that you sang that song, the
(38:20):
way you said that you could almost feel the people
just getting destroyed by that song. Is that in a
Lady Day as well?
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Well?
Speaker 3 (38:26):
I think in the beginning with Lady Day, because I
think no one thought that I could find her voice,
you know, because I'm a soprano, so it's like, what
are you doing? What's this soprano doing Lady Day? You know,
trying to be Billie Holiday. She doesn't have it in
her And I didn't think I had it in me.
And so some nights, you know, the show opens and
the first thing I do is sing before I even
(38:46):
start speaking, and so the audience and you can tell
that the audience is waiting to hear is she going
to get it? And on nights that I really felt
that I was really lined up, really lined up with Billy.
I had I had enough, you know, of her perfume on,
and I had the makeup right, and I had the
gin behind my ears so I could smell like what
she must have smelled like in those days. And I
(39:09):
would open my mouth and sing the first all I
know is I'm in love with you, and you'd hear
sometimes i'd hear the audience gasp, and that's when I'd
be like, Okay, I got that right now. Sustain it
for the next hour and forty five minutes, you know,
and I'd feel that. I'd think, Okay, they're they're taking
the journey with me. And there were nights where that
wouldn't happen. I'd think, Okay, I got a drag them
(39:31):
on this journey too, you know. But every once in
a while there'd be that moment of and every once
in a while to hear people go, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Ah, and no.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Is jam In Low ye in there.
Speaker 6 (39:52):
You said that we are through. I know that should
laugh A yes, care go I Wonderalah.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Has gone.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
The final line of a review from The Evening Standard
for her recent West End debut as Billie Holiday doubles
as a review of Audra herself. Quote yet still she
stands broken but indomitable to the last unquote. I'm Alec Baldwin.
Here's the thing. Is brought to you by iHeart Radio.
Hey, it's Alec Baldwin here. Before we launch our next
season of Here's the Thing at iHeartRadio in January, I
thought I'd play some of my favorite shows from the archives.
Audra McDonald occupies a unique place in the American theater.
With six Tony Awards, she has the most of any
actress in history. She is renowned for her work in
(00:23):
opera as well as in films and on television. Here
is my conversation with Audra McDonald.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Svens fesh hoatch money.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Much like the staggering beauty of her singing, Audra McDonald
is impossible to ignore. The only person to sweep all
four acting categories at the Tonys, she's one of the
most decorated Broadway stars of all time. Reviews of her
award winning performances overflow with accolades. She's spellbinding, radiant, and
(01:21):
wrenchingly human. This year, the Juilliard graduate took on her
first voice over role, playing Madame Gardrobe in Disney's Beauty
and the Beast. The performance was so great one critic
wrote that her name and the credits prompted theatergoers to
erupt in cheers. I sat down with Audre before her
(01:42):
debut this summer in London's West End, where she takes
on Billy Holliday, whose life as a black female performer
hits close to home.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Specifically for me, I would say that there was an
expectation on my part that things would get easier as
a result of being successful. You know, well, what do
you mean, they're going to make more money than I am.
And yeah, we're doing the same thing, we're playing. We're
basically equal as far as the roles are concerned.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Or what did you do to address that? If anything?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I didn't. For I didn't do anything for a while
I should have, and I didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I just went along well.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
And especially you know, when you're an actor, it's like
you're always being told you should be grateful you've got
the job, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
So being told that if you if you push too much,
you're going to get a bad reputation for being Yes, yes,
and I those actors that are infinitely less talented than
you who all the time they're.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Just easy to easier to work with, and they don't
they don't cause in terms.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Of being an African American performer, did that change?
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Well, I tell you, I mean, let me give you
an example of how in some ways it changed and
didn't change. I have to I have to acknowledge the
fact that I am someone who has had uh an
incredible opportunity in terms of sort of breaking down barriers
as far as like color blind casting, being color blind
cast as Carrie Pepperridge in Carousel, you know, or the
(03:04):
fact that I played Mother Abbess and the Sound of
Music Live, you know, and you know a lot of
people have issues with that, but you know, I was
the one that got the opportunity to do that. You know,
when I was doing Annie for ABC, they did a
version of that with Kathy Bates and Victor Garber and
Alan Comming and Kristin Chenowith, and they cast me as
(03:26):
Grace Ferrell and there was a scene at the end
where Grace Ferrell and Daddy Warbooks proposes to Grace Ferrell
at the end, the happy endings happening. You know. Warbocks, Yes,
he was my daddy. I love him too. And actually
you'll appreciate this. We were sitting around one day on
the set and you know, in the big gorgeous mansion
(03:47):
that Daddy war Books has, and we were sitting between
takes and I was sitting next to Victor, and I
just got a little emotionally. I said, Victor, what if
this was really our house and we were really getting
married and we had all this money in this life?
And he said, in the just true Victor fashion, Darling,
get a hold of yourself. You can total Victors saying
(04:07):
that right. But anyway, so we were filming Brier, Yeah,
we're we were filming Annie, and so we shot the
scene where you know, Daddy Warbucks gives Grace Ferrell the
ring and it's lovely. And then we get word that
we have to come in on a Saturday to do
some reshoots. And Rob Marshall was directing, and Neil Maren
(04:30):
and Craig Zayden, who were wonderful, wonderful producers and have
been very kind to me over the years and give
me a lot of work. They cast me in Sound
of Music as mother Abbess, and they said we have
to do some reshoots, and then they took me aside
and said, it turns out that Disney might be a
little uncomfortable or the powers that be. I don't know
if it was Disney abcre, I don't know. We are comfortable.
(04:52):
There might be some issues with Daddy Warbucks actually marrying Grace,
So what year was this? Nineteen ninety nine? So we
need to reshoot the scene and do it without.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
You're hooking up with Daddy Warbucks.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Giving Yeah, And I was devastated. I was I was devastated.
It's one of those things where you know you're starting
to feel good, You're starting to feel like, oh, there's
really change coming. Things are happening here. I am playing
this role and it's it's Annie, but nobody cares.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And it's what did everybody else feel? Including Victor?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I think everybody and Rob I think they were all
kind of horrified, and you.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Know, and also did they use in the product in
the film?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Rob said, Okay, so we're all going to come in
on a Saturday, and you know how expensive that is
when you're only shooting Monday through Friday. Come in on
a Saturday just to reshoot the scene. So everybody comes
in and we get dressed up in that moment for
that scene, and Rob does one big master take of
Daddy Warbucks just sort of going, hey, and bit buddy, buddy,
(05:55):
it's great in this great this happened? Okay, kid, exactly?
You over there, you person, you and he got one shot,
one master take one shot, and then Rob said, okay,
got that, so while we're here, and then he proceeded
to reshoot other things that he thought he could make.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
It, so he tanked it to it. He did tank it,
and so they couldn't use it.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
So they ended up using where So you look in
the film and Daddy Warbucks proposes to Grace Ferrell in
that and that's because that's because of Rob, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, and his courage.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
His courage. Absolutely. And then at the end of the
year when the film came out, Time magazine said something,
or maybe it was a newsweek any of the said
that in Things that Happened this Year, Daddy Warbucks Mary
is a black Grace Ferrell and nobody cares. So I
don't know what that's the answer to, but it's just
an issue of things that you know, you think, you
get to a certain point where you know things are changing,
(06:50):
and then boom, you're sort of slammed back into that reality.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
What are you in the middle of doing now?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
I can't remember you're doing?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You rehearsing some show?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yes, yes, I say so, I've got a lady day.
It was on the West End.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're going to go to London.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, I've never been. No, I've never performed on the
West End.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
That's what I mean. You've never performed over there.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Not I performed, but never on the West End. I've
never I've done like concerts and stuff that I've never
done a show.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You never did a legit show?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
What of the places outside of New York have you performed?
That's an interesting thing to think about.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Well, in terms of like concert work everywhere, but actual shows,
I've only done, Well, that's not true. I did the
Secret Garden Tour million years ago, so you do kind
of a national tour, you go all over the place. No, La, Yeah,
I did it, but as you know, ensemble member, you know.
And then I did Masterclass. It is the only other
one that I did. I did that in LA and
(07:41):
at the Kennedy Center. We did the taper at the
Kennedy Center and Plays and Players in Philadelphia before we
came into New York. But that's been the nineties.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Do you find that you stay in New York and
try to stay in New York if that's home and
that's easier for you, and well, yeah, I mean it
is Broadway.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
It's Broadway and that's where I want to be. Yeah,
but especially since since having kids, you know, I mean,
do you have no Well, I have a six month old,
and I have a sixteen year old, and I have
two step sons who are sixteen and thirteen.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
So it's you have a sixteen year old and that's yours,
that's mine, and you have a six month old that's mine,
that's yours.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yes, yes, you know what that's like, having a bit
of a spread in between.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You had a kid when you were very young, the sixteen.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Year old, Well, that's very kind of you to say. No,
I was thirty when I had my first and now
I'm forty six and.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
You want to have another baby?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
I you know, I or you were drunk on a
sailboat with your husband?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
What happened? Which is it?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Which is it? It's it's it's somewhere in between. It's
really that the Broncos won the Super Bowl. Seriously, my god,
and my husband is a big Broncos fan, and nine
months later history the rest is Sally James McDonald's Winson. No, yeah,
what are you gonna dow?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Was that for you? Because I mean, I don't always
want to ask. I was saying, how I want to
do another show, but I don't want to be away
at dinner time every night. Yeah, for four to six months,
That's what's that like? Do you bring the kids to
the theater?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I did, well, I certainly did with my sixteen year old.
When she was little, she was at the theater all
the time with me. That was kind of the only way.
And I imagine, well, I know for a fact, when
I'm in London, I'm staying very close to the theater,
and she'll be at the theater. And and if I
were to get another Broadway show, I would just bring
(09:28):
her there because you don't want to you don't want
to miss anything, and you don't you don't want to
make them feel like.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
What about the baby?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
But yeah, the baby will come. Absolutely, she has.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
To just be with you right up till the half hour.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
That's what I've been doing now this year, you know,
since i've had her, I've started back concertizing and literally
I've had her backstage with either my husband when he
can join me, or my babysitter, and I will sing
and then run off stage and nurse her and then
you know, go do your meet and greet or whatever.
And actually during one concert she was really fussy, and
(10:00):
so my husband went on and performed, and I ran
off stage and nursed her and called her down and
they went back on stage. Crazy crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Where did you meet him? Your husband?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
We met doing one hundred and ten in the Shade,
the show on Broadway back in two thousand and seven. Yeah,
it was a long time ago, really, Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
it was a crazy time too. I met him and
then my dad was killed in the plane crash like
a couple of weeks, like about six weeks later. Your dad,
he was a high school principal that you grew.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Up in California. Yeah, but you were born in Germany.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I was born in Germany.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
What was he doing over there?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
He was in the he was in the army. Yeah,
and then yeah, I was raised in Fresno, California, and
my dad was a high school principal and then he
went on to become an associated superintendent of schools there.
But his passion was flying and he flew small planes
and he had his own and he was he had
just recently retired and he had his own plane that
he was flying, and yeah, he had Where were you
(10:58):
that I was actually walking. I just finished the matinee
of one hundred and in the shape. We were still
in previews and I was walking with my husband. He
wasn't my husband at the time, he was just a
friend at the time. A bunch of us were walking
to meet the rest of the cast to have you know,
a post you know, Sunday matinee drink with the entire cast,
and my stepmom called.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
And said, my dad was remarried.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yes, he was remarried. And you yes, my mom was
She lives next door to me in the city. Yeah, yeah,
or yeah, in Westchester. When she retired she left town breath, yes, yes,
but yeah. My stepmom called me and said, and I
was just I was on fifty third Street between eighth
and ninth Avenues, and it was it was It's interesting,
(11:46):
you know in those moments, you know, you see what
happens in film and you think it'll be similar, you know,
in real life, and it's it seldom is you know,
as an act Well, I didn't. I didn't compute what
she was saying. You know, she said, your dad, dad
had an accident while he was flying the plane and
he didn't make it. And I kept saying, oh, I
(12:07):
said okay, so where is he now? And she said, Audra,
he didn't make it. I was like, okay, well where
it is? Yeah, but I wasn't. It wasn't computing either,
you know, and I was just really stunned. And it
took it took a day for me to really start
to cry, you know, because it just it ver close
to him, yeah, yeah, very close, and it just wasn't
(12:28):
making sense, you know. So it's interesting. I mean, it's
been ten years on it'll be ten years actually next
week that he's since his passing, and but it's just interesting.
As an actor, this sounds so cold and callous and
it's not. It's not meant to be. But as an actor,
there was a part of me that was sort of
floating away from my body watching the scene, going, I
don't think you're having the right.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Reaction, right, you know, I don't process.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, that's not you know, if this were a scene,
you'd fall to the ground and you know, break into
a million pieces, and you're not doing that. You're you're
playing the scene. It's so strange. But actually I know
exactly when I really started to cry about my dad's passing,
and it was I found out. We were getting ready
to open one hundred and ten in the Shade, and
(13:12):
so we were getting ready to go into critics Week
where critics are coming and they're saying, I'm saying I
have to go, and they're saying, you're the star of
the show. You can't leave as I have to. And
so they canceled a couple of shows so I could
fly home to California.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
This is for their father's funeral. Yeah, they said, you
can't leave.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Well, they were just they were like, how do we
do this? You know? And actually it was at the
end of it was like right at Tony, what's it
called it? When it's the cutoff time? Had qualification time,
So everybody was like, what do we do? So they
were kind enough to cancel enough shows for me to
run home for the funeral and trying to work that
out with my stepmom who was devastated and you know,
(13:49):
really broken, and trying to keep her together and keep
the family together and figure it all out. And it
wasn't until after the funeral you're saying hello to everybody.
And I just kind of kept it together the whole time.
And then as soon as I agreed it, like the
thirtieth person or something here, like a thousand people at
his funeral. He was very very well known and very
loved in Fresno, California. And his older sister came and said,
(14:14):
how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
And that's when I lost it, when you emptied out.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I emptied out. But it was you know. But once again,
that's not how I mean. Maybe maybe a good director,
but that's not how I just imagine the film.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
It was an actress. You're always controlling and managing your feelings. Anyway,
there was the lovers and knobs and dials inside of us.
They were in there playing with all them. Yes, of
course we get paid for you know. So you moved
to Fresno when you grew up in Fresno beginning at
what age?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I was nine months old?
Speaker 1 (14:41):
To me, you're your little baby. So you're a child.
And so there's the Order McDonald who grows up in California. Yeah,
there's the Order of McDonald, who now is one of
the princesses of the Broadway Theater. There's like a Mount Rushmore.
It's you and burned Itad and all these chicks. Now,
who are these the greatest singers in the world? And
I want to talk about the audre in between. So
(15:03):
the order in between when you first started into the business,
when people are hiring you and as you're building your
career in New York and singing, what were they hiring
you for?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Well, I think it had more to do with if
I look back on it now, and no one's ever
asked me this, So kudos to you.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Well, I do try.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
You've got the talent, But I think it had more
to do with I wasn't what people were expecting, you know,
back in those days. Can I say back in those days, Yeah,
the early nineties. You know, you'd go an audition for
something and they'd see an African American girl in her
twenties walk in, and I think they'd expect some big
(15:43):
gospel voice, or you know, they're like, can you be
street smart? You know all those code words and whatnot,
And I would sort of break out with the pseudo
operatic voice that had Broadway qualities and was a bit goofy,
and so I think it just intrigued people and anything.
I think that's even how I got into Juilliard. When
I auditioned for Juilliard and I wasn't, you know, I
(16:04):
wasn't really wanting to pursue classical music, but I thought,
I'll audition on the strength of my voice. That's that's
my strength.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Was that a goal to go to Juilliard?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Well, I wanted to go to New York. I wanted
to live in New York Juilliard was it Lincoln Center,
you know, you know the good beginning, Yeah, And I
thought I'd be able to get like my acting classes
in nancing class as well. I was there. I didn't
realize that once you're in a program, once you're in
a department, you know you shall not stray, you stay
in that department, and you know, so I just went
(16:32):
in there an audition, didn't really know what I was doing,
and kind of riffed at the end of a Mozart area.
You're not supposed to riff with Mozart, and I did.
And I said, I was a meto soprano and I'm
singing subrette, you know, roles for them, showing them. I
sang a subrette aria from the note to figure out
maryaifigure out.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And so for people who don't know what subrette is,
what is that? I'm one of those people, by the
way you do surete.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Well, Subrette is sort of like a really high light soprano,
not necessarily coloratura, but she's like a young, sweet heroine,
lighter sound, not like a full lyric soprano. And so
it's a lot of people say the ena roles despina
or it's their lina, the little cute roles. So anyway,
that's what I sang. I sang one of those arias.
(17:14):
But then I said I'm a mezzo soprano, which I
just was just that just showed how much I didn't know,
how little I do. And they laughed at me and
they said how old are you and I said I'm
seventeen and they just said okay, And I thought, well,
I blew that. And then two weeks later they called
me and said, we want you to come to Juilliard.
But I don't think I think it was just intrigue
(17:37):
on their part.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Are you there for four years? Well, would you start working?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
No? I was there for five years.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
But you finished there, you graduated from there.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Yeah. I took a leave of absence because I had
a suicide attempt actually while I was there, So I
took a leave of absence. There's a lot that happened
between the Order and Presner, California and the Order who's
on Broadway.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Now, okay, we're going to cover as much of that
as you care to time.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I'm completely open about it.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So you're in Juilliard, Yeah, what years was that? That
five years was from when to when?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
It was from nineteen eighty eight to nineteen ninety three.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Right, So when you're there, was it trouble for you
fitting in? Did you feel uncomfortable and out of place?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
There?
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Absolutely was that a part of what led you to
do what you did.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah, I felt out of place artistically. I felt all
my life growing up in Preston, California, all I ever
wanted to do was beyond Broadway. And then I thought,
you know, let me audition for Juilliard. Just didn't think
it through audition, got in. So everybody back at home
is like, wow, Udra got into Juilliard in New York.
She's you know, she's gonna make it. And then I
get to Juilliard and I'm studying classical music. I'm like,
(18:40):
this isn't what I want to do. I don't want
to be an apt for singer. Why surely they're going
to let me go take some acting classes. Surely it
go do some dance less and surely didn't go an
audition for Broadway shows. No, you have to just study,
you know.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You are enjoying it.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
No, And I felt lost. I felt completely lost. I
felt like I was offering about that.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
But that alone, I'm assuming me if I'm wrong, didn't
lead you to do something drastic. What else?
Speaker 5 (19:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
I mean, well, you know, to an extent you can
say yeah, well, you know, like I said, I'm open
about it because you know, I think I'm a case
of it gets better, you know. But I so I
was lost in terms of that, and then feeling like
I couldn't just quit and go back home because I
would look like a failure back at home. And you know,
I had boy trouble while I was there. And so
(19:25):
the culmination of being where I wanted to be in
New York City, thinking I'm finally going to realize my dreams,
stuck and failing miserably at Juilliard, not being able to
admit to anybody at home what was going on, Not
being able to go home because I would have looked
like a failure, living literally on Broadway, on Broadway, my apartment,
my address was Broadway twenty five oh eight Broadway third.
(19:49):
I lived with the residential of the old Broadway like well,
the wild wild West.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Anything north of Baby sixth Street, forget.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
It, you not in those days, shield and a sword
to go to the grocery store, right and crazy to
look at it now, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
But what I'm curious about is that the woman, the
young woman from Fresno, who goes to New York. And again,
let me put a fine point of this before you answer,
which is, and you say you have boy troubles? Are
you dating a different kind of boy now with Juliet? No,
but the boys were hard for you to understand.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
No, I was, you know, I was.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Was that all the same?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Well? I was just not being treated well by a boy. Yeah,
boys are the same.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
All boys in the same where you go? Yeah, Ok,
thank you. My guest has been ugum McDonald everyone, good night, everybody. No,
but but but but the reason I asked is I
want to Are you a fish out of water in
every way?
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yes? I was a fish out of water in every
way except for the fact that I was in New York,
which is what I knew I wanted. I knew that
much was right, but everything else I kept you grounded, yes,
but everything else was wrong. And so you know, in
those days I was, you know, twenty twenty one. I
couldn't see past the fact that I had gotten here
and everything up up to now had gone swimmingly, and
(21:02):
all of a sudden it was all falling apart.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And if you don't know my asking what what were
the the ramp up the time and what you were
thinking and feeling? And the only reason I asked this
for people who listen to this, who might be young
people and artists who experience a certain kind of pain
that you experience in this business that I think is
very unique, because you exude in your work. You seem
so confident and so powerful.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Well, I think it's because I'm now, I'm I'm where
I'm supposed to be. I'm doing what I'm supposed to
be doing. I'm doing what I think if you want
to get I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
You're not playing the e Ina roles anymore.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
No, no, no, But I it's more about I'm artistically fulfilled.
I think my artistic soul is fulfilled. It's doing what
it's supposed to do.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
You agree, look copy to me.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Not that she doesn't still find challenges coming up. Audra
McDonald talks about a song that's been rather hard to sing.
Audra McDonald isn't the only star who struggled to find
her voice.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
I mean when I tell people I was extremely shy
and nobody believes me.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Now that's the thing that people have to overcome.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
You know, I've found a lot of comedians to be
extraordinarily serious and draws withdrawn sometimes, So yeah, I think
sometimes we overcome things by going after the very thing
that really eludes us.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
To hear more about Renee Fleming's story, go to Hear's
Thething dot org. This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening
to Here's the Thing. If ever there was a track
record that warranted dividum, it is Audra McDonald's. But despite
her unparalleled fame, the Queen of Broadway is disarmingly humble,
(23:10):
perhaps the mark of a person who's endured great pain
in her case. While studying at Juilliard, this.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Was my third year and it had been just yet
another year of floundering and doing poorly in all my classes,
and teachers just saying you know, you've got to give
over to your operatic sound and me not wanting to,
not knowing what that was. And when I would get
close to an operatic sound, I'd say, I don't want
to sound like that. So I felt like I was
(23:41):
just being pushed and they were doing their job rightfully.
So this is like, this is your Juilliard to study.
This is what you're going to do to push me
into a place that just wasn't me artistically. So that
coupled with being you know, twenty twenty one by yourself
in New York and being treated poorly by whatever his
name was, what's his name? We're going to say that no, no, no, no, no,
(24:07):
he's he's fine. He's a great guy now, but at
any rate, So all of that combined with me being
sort of like the great hope from my hometown too.
You know, Order's gonna make it. If anybody's gonna make
it on Broadway, it's going to be Order. I I
the boy was the catalyst that sort of like sort
of broke that. It was the star that broke the
(24:27):
camel's back. But it was three years of I'm in
the wrong place, doing the wrong thing. I'm failing miserably,
but I'm here in Disneyland, where I'm supposed to be,
where I said I wanted to be, so I sored
you do I I slit my wrists one night?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
What happened? And written about this?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
I haven't, I guess I should. I speak about it
all the time, but maybe one day I'll write about it.
Found you I I I slipped my wrists and then
realized what I had done and called the affairs director
who I had become close with, and said, I helped me,
and someone came and helped you, and they helped me,
and they took me to a mental hospital. It's interesting
(25:11):
this mental hospital still there, Gracie Square Hospital. It's next
door to my ob gyn who delivered my six month
old's what a circuit that is.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
So I almost didn't make it, and now I made
it and I'm in this.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I had to pass it, you know, every week to
go to my obgyn appointment, I had to pass Gracie
Square Hospital. And every time I passed it, there was
a part of me just, you know, waddling down the
street pregnant as can be. Some twenty nine years later,
I would I would. I felt such relief and joy,
and you know, a sense of yes, I get the
(25:52):
big picture.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Now, what month in the school year was that that
that happened. It was January or February, So it was
at the midpoint. Let's say, and you take off obviously
when you come back, when you come back the following fall,
you don't.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
I came back the following fall for a little bit,
and then I got an opportunity to audition for something
that ended up that I ended up being the Secret
Garden actually, and I asked the you know, administration office
and my the dean, what I should do, and they said,
you know, go do that. It's okay, take the time
(26:24):
off to go do that. It seems like that's where
you want to be, so and.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
They probably didn't want to disappoint.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
You at that point.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
At that point that point they were like, sure, go
go you want to go sing on and go, go
do it. Yeah, we don't ever want to get your way.
You know.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
The thing is there was actually a lot, not a lot,
but they had a special arrangement with Gracie Square Hospital.
There were a couple of other Juilliard students there that
I had wondered what had happened to I was there.
I was at the hospital for me. But Grace's Square,
I think is private hospital. I was there for a month.
They evaluated me and said, you you're not going anytime soon?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
And did that change you?
Speaker 3 (27:02):
I was so heavily medicated. I was heavily medicated.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
When you say that, it's so compelling to me because
when I see you, I think of you. I think
of you like you know, you're so strong your personality
and perform. I view you as a person that's going
to go. I'm going back into the burning building to
save the baby.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Well that is me now, yeah, but I think maybe
that experience helped make me that now. I mean, look,
I'm still a mess. I mean everybody's a mess, always
a mess. I you know, and I what, I understood
a lot going on. Yeah, and I realized, you know,
I'm someone who suffers from depression. But I learned in
the years A how to deal with it. B to
find you know, find my joy and see to realize that,
(27:42):
like alcoholism, it's something that you wake up every day
and you say, yeah, that's still something that I have
to deal with, as opposed to saying, oh, I'm just
not depressed anymore. Just but to learn how to cope
with that, and my art gives me a lot of
joy and keeps me, keeps me strong.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
So what's the first job you do? This is a
tired question, but I can't help back ask you, especially
with somebody like you, what's the first job when you do?
When you sit there and go, I got this. I
think I got this, like I'm over the no no
meaning you know that the sky is the limit for you.
You're out there and you're doing it, and you're connecting
to that material you know, and you go, I think
(28:19):
I really really have a shot at my dream coming true.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Here it was Sally Murphy and she was she was
Julie Jordan, and I played Carry Pippridge and it was
the guy Michael Hayden was with Hayden, Yes, yes, yes,
Nick Heitner at Lincoln Center, which is also crazy for
me to then open, you know, in Carousel at Lincoln Center,
where at Vivian Momont Theater where you can look up
and I can see the school that I, you know,
(28:44):
had a hard time in and and I remember standing
in those in those windows at Juilliard looking at Vivian Beaumont,
seeing Patty Lapone performing there and going why am I
not doing that.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
And then how'd you feel.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Like the luckiest survivor in the world. I mean, and
I felt a sense of gratitude, a sense of relief,
and a sense of Okay, I get it. I now
get that I was on my path.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Out the window of one place is your future. Out
the window of Juilliard, where you try to snuff yourself
is the Vivian Beaumont, where you're going to do carousel
across the streets, always a vista for you. What might
have been was, which was something not bad and wonderful? Yeah,
I mean babies and Tony Awards and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I think I think what I realized is there's a
bigger picture. And I think, you know, it's very easy
to you know, just get into tunnel vision, especially when
you're young and you know it's only you that you're
having to think about and not but that's a bad thing.
But it's just easy to get buried very quickly under
emotion and fear and disappointment and all that. And I
(30:01):
just think that I learned to have a bigger picture
about life.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
We're taking a break, so stay with us. Once you
become extraordinarily successful in the busines. You won your first
Tony Award for what show? For Carousel? And you're how old?
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Twenty three?
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Your child and you when you you were fresh out
of that situation, you weren't far that far we move
from that situation.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Was two and a half years away from that situation
and a half years.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Later, which is nothing. Yeah, you win a Tony Award
and you've won six Tony Awards. Yes, you won the
most Tony Awards of anybody. Are you tied with somebody
you're tied with?
Speaker 4 (30:33):
No?
Speaker 5 (30:33):
Not with that.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
No.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
I love.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I love when people sit there and they go, oh,
I don't know. I don't keep track of that. I go, you, liar,
you got all your Tonies lined up?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
They do.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
No, I'm not you, I'm saying, but people in general,
I doubt you do. To actually but to embarrass you
even more than I already have. Good God, you are
enormously talented and everything clicks, and you're very, very successful,
and you're a gorgeous woman. Well you're a gorgeous woman.
And what did that do in terms of your career,
meaning that you could have gone and made films and
(31:08):
then a television series. Did you have a lot of
offers you swept aside.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
No, I've never had those offers. I mean, I did
one television series once where I played the best friend
in Private Practice to the main character show Private Practice,
Kate Walsh played Addison Montgomery and I played her best friend.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Did you do that?
Speaker 3 (31:28):
I did it for five six years. The show ran
for seven years, and I did it for five or
six years. But No, Hollywood has never really banged down
on my doors. And I think that's because you're very
kind to say I'm gorgeous, but I don't think I'm
the typical sort of look. I'm also a big girl,
and I'm proud of that, and I'm fine with that.
But you know, it's interesting when you go to Hollywood
(31:50):
and you see these people on the movie screens your
entire life, and then you see them in person and
they're all like one fourth of that taper airplay.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
What the hell didn't look well?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Do you want a cheeseburger?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (32:02):
No, no, no, I mean, it's say, look terrible, but
it's just for me. It's just like I I you know,
I think size wise that has something to do with it,
and I and I don't know that that's where I'm
at my strongest, right, you know, And I think it works.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
So hard to develop this perch you're in.
Speaker 5 (32:15):
Now.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
What's that like for you to have to go out
and wring yourself.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Out again and again every night. Well, the process for me,
I go really inside. I get really quiet. People around
me think that I'm angry with them before I do
a show because I just get very quiet and I
go inside and stay still. And I'm not. I'm not
one to kind of jump around and go visit other
dressing rooms. I just I have to kind of go
(32:39):
in and be super super super quiet and still because focus. Yeah,
because in a minute, you're going to have to turn
all of your insides out, and so if I'm giving
all that out beforehand, I will have nothing to get.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
What was one of the hardest ones for you, Lady Day.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Absolutely that was by myself on stage for an hour
and forty five minutes, just having to give it and
especially living that life that she led. I have to
have to live that on stage every night. That I
was no fun to be around before the show. After
the show, I was a ball because.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
That's very common.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yes, because I was thrilled it was over until the
next you know, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
I know.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I can't remember who. Oh, maybe it was Kathy Bates.
I can't remember who said this to me, but I said, well,
why don't you ever come back to Broadway or do
a show on Broadway? And I think it was Kathy Bage.
She said, oh, honey, oh that's hard. It's hard, and
she's right, you know it is, because especially when you think, Okay,
I've done it, I've given a good performance. I got
through that. You know, when you're doing a film, you're like, great,
it's in the can and now I'm off the cab
(33:36):
or whatever, you know. But Broadway it's like, and now
I have to do that again tomorrow night, and then
the next night after that and the next and it's
a blessing.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
At the end of every day. I got to go
to work exactly, you have that whole day and what
happens in that in the world. The worst thing for
me when I was acting was when I'd have a wonderful,
fun day and then I had to go to work
and wring myself out and some drive to go do
the Scottish play.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Yes, for me, it was always on Sunday matinee when
you're headed to your Sunday matinee. You're walking down ninth
Fablue and you're seeing everybody outside, either out of street
fair or having wine and runch. And I can't tell
you how many in the sun. I can't hedly tell
you how many times you're walking down ninth Faber you
just want to take your hand and wipe all the
food off of those sidewalk tables. It's like, that's not fair,
(34:18):
of course not. I mean, it's I'm doing what I
wanted to do my entire life.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
But there is that people are counting on you. Yes, amazing.
When I did Street Car, I got really sick and
I missed the show. I was out for it for
a weekend, the two Saturdays and the Sunday, and I
missed the show. But I go downstairs. I lived on
Central Park West. I go downstairs. I cross over to Broadway.
I'm on eighty six then Broadway on the northeast corner.
I'm going to cross over to William's Chicken Yes, and
(34:42):
get my soup.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
And I'm there and this little woman looks up to me.
It's like seven o'clock at night. It's a it's a
Friday night or a Saturday night rather, and she looks
up to me, this little owlish woman. She goes, aren't
you supposed to be on Broadway right now? And I thought,
it's town, flip the town.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
I have a story like that too. I mean, we
were it was New Year's Eve and Ethan Hawk had
been able to we were doing Henry the Fourth at
Lincoln Center, and he'd been able to get the entire
cast invited to the Plays and Players Club or a
what's the club over on the Players Club? Yes, for
New Year's Eve. So we're all there and we're all
celebrating and it's wonderful, but we're, you know, in and
amongst you know, the actual members of this club. And
(35:23):
it's New Year's Eve and I'm doing a play. And
I was still young, and I thought, I'm gonna have
a cigarette. You know, why not, I'm gonna have a cigarette.
And I don't smoke as a rule, but I just
decided it's New Year's Eve, I'm gonna have wine and
cigarettes and it'll be fun. So I was smoking out
on the little terrorists they have out there. I'm smoking
my cigarette. I'm chatting with some of my cast members
(35:44):
and an older woman who's a member of the play's club.
She comes up to me and she said, I'd say
you're Audra McDonald, but it couldn't possibly be her because
she wouldn't be smoking.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Never destroying her instrument.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
She wouldn't be smoking. And then she just sort of march, Now.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Who are people who in your life? In your career?
One might assume you've sung the song, sang the songs
of pretty much everyone you want to sing. Where is
there one that's gotten by you? Is there some composer
whose music you want to sing that you haven't sang.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
No, I wouldn't say that. I mean there's always young
com I am always championed the work of new, young
musical theater composers, so I'm always looking for new work
to do. There are certain songs that I stay away
from because I don't feel that I can do them properly.
For example, one that I have not been able to
conquer that I have tried a couple of times and
never done in public because I can't conquer it is
(36:37):
being Alive by Son Tim. I cannot. As much as
that song moves me and as much as it means
to me, every time I try and sing it, I
fail so I have not done it in public and
I and I won't until I figure it out. And
that is that strange?
Speaker 1 (36:52):
It is No, No, I mean, I'm sure there's people.
It's like in plays. I mean, I'm trying to roles.
I'm trying to think of.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
Right.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Do you have writers whose work you steer clear of
as a performer because you don't get it so you
don't know how to bring it to life. Not that
you don't enjoy watching.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
I might enjoy watching, you know, whatever. I want to
have in the theater. Life itself is so filled with
oddities now and surreal crap going on with the government
and everything. I want to see something which is really
I want some honesty. No, I need to have a
like oxygen. I need a big hit of honesty.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I you know, that's interesting. I was listening to a
performer on the way down here who i'd absolutely admire,
whose work I admire, and they were singing a song
that didn't, in my mind, seem quite right for them.
Not that they weren't singing it beautifully, but I thought,
I don't think they believe this. I don't. I think
they're trying something and they don't believe it, and there's
a part of me that thought, why am I thinking
(37:47):
that about them? I do that stuff all the time.
But I think you're right. There is something going on
right now in the zeitgeist that is sort of like
everybody is needing truth and needing needing something to ground
them and where is reality?
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Any sat tire? And my last question for you is, well,
first of all, describe for me, if you would, as
I try to, always think about people in your profession
and who do what you do as well as you
do a moment when you're on stage and you used
to go out there at night and you'd sing a
song and you knew you were going to kill these people,
you know, the minute that you sang that song, the
(38:20):
way you said that you could almost feel the people
just getting destroyed by that song. Is that in a
Lady Day as well?
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Well?
Speaker 3 (38:26):
I think in the beginning with Lady Day, because I
think no one thought that I could find her voice,
you know, because I'm a soprano, so it's like, what
are you doing? What's this soprano doing Lady Day? You know,
trying to be Billie Holiday. She doesn't have it in
her And I didn't think I had it in me.
And so some nights, you know, the show opens and
the first thing I do is sing before I even
(38:46):
start speaking, and so the audience and you can tell
that the audience is waiting to hear is she going
to get it? And on nights that I really felt
that I was really lined up, really lined up with Billy.
I had I had enough, you know, of her perfume on,
and I had the makeup right, and I had the
gin behind my ears so I could smell like what
she must have smelled like in those days. And I
(39:09):
would open my mouth and sing the first all I
know is I'm in love with you, and you'd hear
sometimes i'd hear the audience gasp, and that's when I'd
be like, Okay, I got that right now. Sustain it
for the next hour and forty five minutes, you know,
and I'd feel that. I'd think, Okay, they're they're taking
the journey with me. And there were nights where that
wouldn't happen. I'd think, Okay, I got a drag them
(39:31):
on this journey too, you know. But every once in
a while there'd be that moment of and every once
in a while to hear people go, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Ah, and no.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Is jam In Low ye in there.
Speaker 6 (39:52):
You said that we are through. I know that should
laugh A yes, care go I Wonderalah.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Has gone.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
The final line of a review from The Evening Standard
for her recent West End debut as Billie Holiday doubles
as a review of Audra herself. Quote yet still she
stands broken but indomitable to the last unquote. I'm Alec Baldwin.
Here's the thing. Is brought to you by iHeart Radio.
Host
Alec Baldwin
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