October 24, 2024 • 10 mins
A boyfriend who conveniently forgot he was married to someone else, a partner who doesn't want to put a ring on it, and a someone who's caught the feels for a friend... The dilemmas we're facing today. ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
called Delilah's Dilemmas, or Folks call me or write me
(00:25):
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
We're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. This is what Carole writes.
(00:46):
I've known this quote man for five years. The first
two years we were dating, and the last three years
we've dated off and on. Recently we decided to get
back together and be committed. I just found out that
of those five years that we've been seeing each other,
(01:08):
he's been married for four of them. They met, got engaged,
and got married a year after we met while he
and I were in a serious dating relationship. I'm way
past heartbroken. I'm downright angry. I feel stupid that I
(01:28):
got played, and I feel so disrespected. Delilah. How do
I get past this and trust in love again?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
CAROLEE, I will have my Mama Delilah words for you
Coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Carolee, who
wants to award the Dog of the Day award to
her former boyfriend and slash Sweetheart slash dog. They dated
(02:09):
for two solid years, they kind of broke up, and
they recently got back together in a committed relationship, and
she found out that while they were dating, he met,
got engaged and married someone else and never bothered to
tell her. How do you get past this, Carolee? Well,
first off, you forgive him, and then you forgive yourself.
(02:31):
You forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know.
But now you've learned to trust your gut. All those years,
you had to have been suspicious when he didn't show
up when he said he would, or when he couldn't
stay for the weekends or whatever. You had to have
been suspicious that there was a reason he was emotionally unavailable.
(02:55):
Now you know, and now you know the red flags,
and you won't fall for that again. Well, hopefully you won't.
Hopefully you won't be a foolish fool, and you'll go nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,
I recognize that red flag. You can't tell me it's
a orange. You can't tell me it's yellow. You can't
tell me that it's crimson. I know it's red. It's
(03:17):
a red flag, saying stop, do not go any further
with this person. They're a liar, liar, pants on fire. Okay,
So yes, he wins dog of the day. But you've
learned your lesson. You're a better person for it. You're
going to forgive and move on. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(03:44):
from Haley, who says, Hi, Delilah, wondering if you have
any advice on my situation. I've been with my boyfriend
since we were sixteen. We're twenty five now. We have
a beautiful son who is three, and our relationship is
great except for one thing. He hasn't proposed, and I
don't see one anywhere in sight. We moved across the
(04:08):
United States for a better life, and it's been amazing.
We are finally living comfortably. I often wonder when he's
going to take that next step with me. He reassures
me that I'm the one for him, and has told
me on two separate occasions that he's quote working on it,
but he gets weird and we both end up super uncomfortable.
(04:31):
I'm not sure why. He's a great dad and a
great provider for our family. I'm just wondering if you
have any advice for me. Thank you so much. From
Ringless and Waiting Haley, Haley, I will have my Mama
Delilah words for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
(05:03):
is from Haley, who's loved the same man her whole
life since she was a teenager. Now they have a
family together, a little boy, but she's got a naked
left hand, and she says that they get weird when
she brings it up. Haley, it's your future, it's your life.
Why would he get weird about that. Why would you
feel weird about it? It's your life. And if marriage
(05:26):
and a commitment and a more traditional family is important
to you, then you need to be honest about that
and not worry if he feels weird about it, because
it's your life. It's within your right to say I
want a traditional family. I want to be your wife,
(05:48):
I want you to be my husband. I want to
be a married family, and I need to know if
that is where we're heading or not. I'm not talking
about it. Avoiding talking about it because he gets weird
is not the answer. Feeling the fear and doing it
anyway and talking about it is the answer. And if
(06:11):
he is not respectful of your wants or needs or feelings,
then maybe he's not that great of a partner. After all.
You deserve somebody who loves you enough to respect you
to care about what's important to you. So talk about it,
Talk about it, and continue talking about it until you
(06:34):
reach a resolution, until he's honest and says nope, I
don't see myself ever getting married, or until he says, yeah,
let's get married. All right, good luck and God bless you.
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma reads, Hi, Delilah. I'm Tanner and I've
(06:57):
listened to you since I was about eight years old.
I work at a hotel. I'm in maintenance, and there's
this really cute girl who works at the front desk.
I ask her out, but she turned me down. We
have great conversations, we flirt back and forth, but I've
caught all the feelings for her, and I can't stop
(07:19):
thinking about her.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Now do I try again? I seem to always.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Fall into the friend zone, and when I ask someone out,
I'm shut down. Do you have any motherly advice? Please
help me? From Tanner? Tanner, I wish that I were
having a face to face conversation with you so I
could help you up your game a little bit here,
But I'm going.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
To do my best via the radio.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Okay, So go get a pad and a pin and
take notes.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Young man.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Come right back, and we'll be back with my response
coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Tanner, who's
been listening to me his whole life, and now he's
got a crush on a girl he works with, and
he asked her out, and she shut him down. Tanner,
(08:13):
if she still flirts with you and still talks to you,
that's a good sign. That means you're developing a friendship.
That's vitally important. Does she have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
Does she have a romantic interest? If she does, then
(08:34):
that's why she shut you down. If she doesn't, then
what you need to find out is what she's interested in.
Does she like to go bowling? Does she like to
study birds? Is she into gardening or wildflowers? Does she read,
(08:54):
and as you find out what it is that she's
interested in, then you share that with her. If she's
into movies, you can say, Hey, there's a great new
movie coming out. I heard it's going to be in the theaters.
Would you like to go see it? Or look in
(09:16):
the mirror, ask yourself, do I need haircut? Do I
need to come in look in a little sharper, or
do I need to up my game? If you're in maintenance,
you probably you know, wear maintenance clothes, But do you
need to I don't know, up the game.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
A little bit? Does she like chocolate? Does she like flowers?
Does she.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Like looking up at the stars? Figure out what it
is that makes her smile, and then share in that
with her. If that doesn't work, if she's still not
catching the fields, then time to move on.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Good lucky young man. I so hope you have enjoyed
these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
to you.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah.
Do
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
called Delilah's Dilemmas, or Folks call me or write me
(00:25):
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
We're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. This is what Carole writes.
(00:46):
I've known this quote man for five years. The first
two years we were dating, and the last three years
we've dated off and on. Recently we decided to get
back together and be committed. I just found out that
of those five years that we've been seeing each other,
(01:08):
he's been married for four of them. They met, got engaged,
and got married a year after we met while he
and I were in a serious dating relationship. I'm way
past heartbroken. I'm downright angry. I feel stupid that I
(01:28):
got played, and I feel so disrespected. Delilah. How do
I get past this and trust in love again?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
CAROLEE, I will have my Mama Delilah words for you
Coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Carolee, who
wants to award the Dog of the Day award to
her former boyfriend and slash Sweetheart slash dog. They dated
(02:09):
for two solid years, they kind of broke up, and
they recently got back together in a committed relationship, and
she found out that while they were dating, he met,
got engaged and married someone else and never bothered to
tell her. How do you get past this, Carolee? Well,
first off, you forgive him, and then you forgive yourself.
(02:31):
You forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know.
But now you've learned to trust your gut. All those years,
you had to have been suspicious when he didn't show
up when he said he would, or when he couldn't
stay for the weekends or whatever. You had to have
been suspicious that there was a reason he was emotionally unavailable.
(02:55):
Now you know, and now you know the red flags,
and you won't fall for that again. Well, hopefully you won't.
Hopefully you won't be a foolish fool, and you'll go nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,
I recognize that red flag. You can't tell me it's
a orange. You can't tell me it's yellow. You can't
tell me that it's crimson. I know it's red. It's
(03:17):
a red flag, saying stop, do not go any further
with this person. They're a liar, liar, pants on fire. Okay,
So yes, he wins dog of the day. But you've
learned your lesson. You're a better person for it. You're
going to forgive and move on. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(03:44):
from Haley, who says, Hi, Delilah, wondering if you have
any advice on my situation. I've been with my boyfriend
since we were sixteen. We're twenty five now. We have
a beautiful son who is three, and our relationship is
great except for one thing. He hasn't proposed, and I
don't see one anywhere in sight. We moved across the
(04:08):
United States for a better life, and it's been amazing.
We are finally living comfortably. I often wonder when he's
going to take that next step with me. He reassures
me that I'm the one for him, and has told
me on two separate occasions that he's quote working on it,
but he gets weird and we both end up super uncomfortable.
(04:31):
I'm not sure why. He's a great dad and a
great provider for our family. I'm just wondering if you
have any advice for me. Thank you so much. From
Ringless and Waiting Haley, Haley, I will have my Mama
Delilah words for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
(05:03):
is from Haley, who's loved the same man her whole
life since she was a teenager. Now they have a
family together, a little boy, but she's got a naked
left hand, and she says that they get weird when
she brings it up. Haley, it's your future, it's your life.
Why would he get weird about that. Why would you
feel weird about it? It's your life. And if marriage
(05:26):
and a commitment and a more traditional family is important
to you, then you need to be honest about that
and not worry if he feels weird about it, because
it's your life. It's within your right to say I
want a traditional family. I want to be your wife,
(05:48):
I want you to be my husband. I want to
be a married family, and I need to know if
that is where we're heading or not. I'm not talking
about it. Avoiding talking about it because he gets weird
is not the answer. Feeling the fear and doing it
anyway and talking about it is the answer. And if
(06:11):
he is not respectful of your wants or needs or feelings,
then maybe he's not that great of a partner. After all.
You deserve somebody who loves you enough to respect you
to care about what's important to you. So talk about it,
Talk about it, and continue talking about it until you
(06:34):
reach a resolution, until he's honest and says nope, I
don't see myself ever getting married, or until he says, yeah,
let's get married. All right, good luck and God bless you.
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma reads, Hi, Delilah. I'm Tanner and I've
(06:57):
listened to you since I was about eight years old.
I work at a hotel. I'm in maintenance, and there's
this really cute girl who works at the front desk.
I ask her out, but she turned me down. We
have great conversations, we flirt back and forth, but I've
caught all the feelings for her, and I can't stop
(07:19):
thinking about her.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Now do I try again? I seem to always.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Fall into the friend zone, and when I ask someone out,
I'm shut down. Do you have any motherly advice? Please
help me? From Tanner? Tanner, I wish that I were
having a face to face conversation with you so I
could help you up your game a little bit here,
But I'm going.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
To do my best via the radio.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Okay, So go get a pad and a pin and
take notes.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Young man.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Come right back, and we'll be back with my response
coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Tanner, who's
been listening to me his whole life, and now he's
got a crush on a girl he works with, and
he asked her out, and she shut him down. Tanner,
(08:13):
if she still flirts with you and still talks to you,
that's a good sign. That means you're developing a friendship.
That's vitally important. Does she have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
Does she have a romantic interest? If she does, then
(08:34):
that's why she shut you down. If she doesn't, then
what you need to find out is what she's interested in.
Does she like to go bowling? Does she like to
study birds? Is she into gardening or wildflowers? Does she read,
(08:54):
and as you find out what it is that she's
interested in, then you share that with her. If she's
into movies, you can say, Hey, there's a great new
movie coming out. I heard it's going to be in the theaters.
Would you like to go see it? Or look in
(09:16):
the mirror, ask yourself, do I need haircut? Do I
need to come in look in a little sharper, or
do I need to up my game? If you're in maintenance,
you probably you know, wear maintenance clothes, But do you
need to I don't know, up the game.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
A little bit? Does she like chocolate? Does she like flowers?
Does she.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Like looking up at the stars? Figure out what it
is that makes her smile, and then share in that
with her. If that doesn't work, if she's still not
catching the fields, then time to move on.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Good lucky young man. I so hope you have enjoyed
these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
to you.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah.
Do
Host
Delilah
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