June 12, 2024 • 11 mins
Parents only want the best for us, but once we're adults, we need to make our own choices. That's what one of the dilemmas is about today. ~ Delilah
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
(00:22):
called Delilah's Dilemmas, or folks call me or write me
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
We're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(00:44):
from a young woman named Amy, who is a woman,
but she is living like a child. She says, when
I was a little girl, I had a hearing impairment
and I heard the word prince charming is Prince Charlie.
So my sister and I would play Princess and Prince Charlie.
My sister always made me be Prince Charlie. When I
(01:06):
was in high school, I had the biggest crush on
a guy. After school, he moved away and I was bombed,
And when I was twenty and graduating college, he showed
up at my church. A week later we started to date.
He was my Prince Charlie. The following year, we got engaged,
but sadly, my parents didn't approve of it, and I
broke it off with him. Even though I didn't want to.
(01:27):
I loved him. I couldn't see why they didn't want
me to marry him. I kept seeing him without them knowing,
and we got engaged a second time. I wanted so
badly to be his wife, but this time my mom
was furious, so I broke it off again. He was
so hurt. Years later, I tried to start a relationship
(01:48):
with him once again, but too much pain and heartache
had already left him scarred. He doesn't want me now. Now,
seven years later from my college graduation, I find that
I'm still in love with him and I want him back. Now.
I could be with him freely, but I am afraid
it's too late. How could he ever love me like
he once did? Have I lost my Prince Charlie. At
(02:11):
what age do you tell your parents it's your life?
Please help me from Amy, Amy, I will have my
words for you. Coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from a young woman named Amy who found her prince Charming.
(02:32):
Only she called him Prince Charlie, and they were engaged twice,
but each time she chose to obey her parents though
she was an adult, rather than be with the one
you love. And now seven years later, you're still in
love with him, which puts you at about thirty years old.
I don't know if he could ever love you again.
(02:53):
I don't know why he would ever take that chance again.
Because here's the thing, Amy, he gave you his heart
and soul, and you chose to do what your mom
wanted instead of be with the manu love. Maybe mom
had a point. Maybe Charlie is an alcoholic abuser and
(03:13):
she saw it and you didn't. If that's the case,
then you need to let that go and move on.
But the deeper issue is why do you need your parents' approval?
That's the real issue. See, my job as a parent,
and I got a lot of kids, is to raise
my kids to the best of their ability so that
when they are adults, they can be fully functioning adults
(03:37):
and make their own decisions and live their own lives.
And they do that. I don't agree with some of
the choices they're making. I have three children that are
making bad choices. In my estimation. But it's their life.
They get to do that. They don't need my approval
to make any choice because it's their life. Once you're
(03:59):
eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one, you get to make those choices.
Now you have to pay for those choices, meaning if
you are financially dependent upon your parents, they still get
to make the choices for you. The price you pay
for independence is paying your own way through life. But Amy,
you need to ask yourself, and this is something you're
(04:21):
going to have to counsel through with a good counselor
why is it so important that your parents approve of
your decisions. You get to live your life. You get
to be Amy who you want to be. You get
to explore the path that you want to explore, and
nobody gets to control you unless you give them permission to.
(04:44):
So good luck and God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
is from somebody that I'm going to call Susan, but
it's not her real name. Her real name is Knucklehead
Knucklehead Rights. I've been married for almost thirty years. I
(05:05):
remember standing at that altar thinking I will live happily
ever after. What a fool I was. We do have
two precious children. My husband had a heart attack and
kidney transplant. I actually gave him my kidney, and yet
he is so ungrateful. He yells at me all the time.
(05:27):
Hurts my feelings. I would toss him to the curb,
except I think he would die by not taking his
meds and my two children would blame me. What should
I do? I am currently in counseling and on tranquilizers.
I can't take this. Just call me Susan, all right, Susan,
(05:49):
not your real name. Listen up, and I will have
my mother Delilah advice for you coming up next. Tonight's
Delilah's dilemma is from somebody who calls herself Susan, who
(06:10):
has been married for three decades to a man who
is verbally abusive, even after she saved his life by
giving him her kidney. Here's what I will say to you,
and to anybody else who is living in an unhappy relationship.
You do not get to determine how other people act.
(06:30):
You can't make jerky people be nice, you can't make
angry people diffuse, you can't make alcoholics stop drinking, and
you can't make verbally abusive people be grateful. It is
impossible to change another person's behavior. All you get to
do is decide how you are going to respond to it. Susan,
(06:52):
you are responding to your husband's meanness by losing your identity,
your serenity, and it sounds like your health. Are you
going to continue to let this man's cruelty destroy your life?
Are you going to stay in the victim role? Or
(07:13):
are you going to step out of that victim role
and say, you know what, I have lived the role
of victim far too long. I am not responsible for
another human being who is over the age of eighteen
and the decisions they make. If he cannot treat me
with dignity and respect and love. I am not spending
one more night being yelled at. There's no way I
(07:37):
would live with verbal abuse ever again. I did that
far too long. You get a backbone, You put your
shoulders back, and you say never again. Are you going
to be mean to me? If you're going to live
with me and share the space with me, and share
this life with me, you're going to respect me and
be kind to me and loving towards me. And if
you can't do that, then buddy, You're going to be
(07:58):
making your own bed because I ain't doing it anymore.
That is my best mother, Delilah. Advice to you, Susan
not your real name. Good luck and God bless you.
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Heathers. She says, Dearest Delilah,
(08:20):
I have asked my husband several times for the two
of us to get remarried for our anniversary, the upcoming
one will be eight years. We never had the dream
wedding I always wanted. It was just a magistrate and
a two day honeymoon. But whenever I ask him about it,
he has the same old reply. I already made that
(08:44):
mistake once. It kind of hurts my feelings and I
know he doesn't mean it that way, but still, I
never got the wedding that I wanted, small but intimate.
I thought it would be nice for our anniversary. Should
it be a surprise anniversary party, vow renewal anyway? All
I want is a very close family, a small cake,
(09:05):
and our eight year old son by our side. Am
I asking too much? Signed? Misswedding, Misswedding. I will have
my response to you coming up next Tonight's Delilah's dilemma
(09:25):
is from Heather, who's been married eight years, didn't have
the dream wedding. She wanted small but intimate, and would
like to do that as a val renewal. And here's
what sticks out to me, Heather. When you bring up
a val renewal to your husband, you say, his response
is always the same, I already made that mistake once.
(09:48):
That is what's concerning me. He's saying something very hurtful,
and though he might be saying it as a joke,
it's not funny. So instead focusing on the wedding you
never had, I would focus on the marriage you now have,
and I would look and see if there's ways that
(10:10):
you can open the lines of communication that you can
get your husband to see that those little quips and
jokes are like barbs that hurt your heart. A wedding
is an event, but a marriage that's a priceless gift
from God. And it sounds to me like you are
(10:32):
not getting the love and the respect that you desire.
And I bet if you can help your husband to
understand that on some level and work through that, then
maybe he'll understand how important it is to you to
have that little dream wedding you've always hoped for. I
(10:53):
so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much
as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more
with you each weekday on Hey, It's Delilah Divine
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
(00:22):
called Delilah's Dilemmas, or folks call me or write me
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
We're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(00:44):
from a young woman named Amy, who is a woman,
but she is living like a child. She says, when
I was a little girl, I had a hearing impairment
and I heard the word prince charming is Prince Charlie.
So my sister and I would play Princess and Prince Charlie.
My sister always made me be Prince Charlie. When I
(01:06):
was in high school, I had the biggest crush on
a guy. After school, he moved away and I was bombed,
And when I was twenty and graduating college, he showed
up at my church. A week later we started to date.
He was my Prince Charlie. The following year, we got engaged,
but sadly, my parents didn't approve of it, and I
broke it off with him. Even though I didn't want to.
(01:27):
I loved him. I couldn't see why they didn't want
me to marry him. I kept seeing him without them knowing,
and we got engaged a second time. I wanted so
badly to be his wife, but this time my mom
was furious, so I broke it off again. He was
so hurt. Years later, I tried to start a relationship
(01:48):
with him once again, but too much pain and heartache
had already left him scarred. He doesn't want me now. Now,
seven years later from my college graduation, I find that
I'm still in love with him and I want him back. Now.
I could be with him freely, but I am afraid
it's too late. How could he ever love me like
he once did? Have I lost my Prince Charlie. At
(02:11):
what age do you tell your parents it's your life?
Please help me from Amy, Amy, I will have my
words for you. Coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from a young woman named Amy who found her prince Charming.
(02:32):
Only she called him Prince Charlie, and they were engaged twice,
but each time she chose to obey her parents though
she was an adult, rather than be with the one
you love. And now seven years later, you're still in
love with him, which puts you at about thirty years old.
I don't know if he could ever love you again.
(02:53):
I don't know why he would ever take that chance again.
Because here's the thing, Amy, he gave you his heart
and soul, and you chose to do what your mom
wanted instead of be with the manu love. Maybe mom
had a point. Maybe Charlie is an alcoholic abuser and
(03:13):
she saw it and you didn't. If that's the case,
then you need to let that go and move on.
But the deeper issue is why do you need your parents' approval?
That's the real issue. See, my job as a parent,
and I got a lot of kids, is to raise
my kids to the best of their ability so that
when they are adults, they can be fully functioning adults
(03:37):
and make their own decisions and live their own lives.
And they do that. I don't agree with some of
the choices they're making. I have three children that are
making bad choices. In my estimation. But it's their life.
They get to do that. They don't need my approval
to make any choice because it's their life. Once you're
(03:59):
eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one, you get to make those choices.
Now you have to pay for those choices, meaning if
you are financially dependent upon your parents, they still get
to make the choices for you. The price you pay
for independence is paying your own way through life. But Amy,
you need to ask yourself, and this is something you're
(04:21):
going to have to counsel through with a good counselor
why is it so important that your parents approve of
your decisions. You get to live your life. You get
to be Amy who you want to be. You get
to explore the path that you want to explore, and
nobody gets to control you unless you give them permission to.
(04:44):
So good luck and God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
is from somebody that I'm going to call Susan, but
it's not her real name. Her real name is Knucklehead
Knucklehead Rights. I've been married for almost thirty years. I
(05:05):
remember standing at that altar thinking I will live happily
ever after. What a fool I was. We do have
two precious children. My husband had a heart attack and
kidney transplant. I actually gave him my kidney, and yet
he is so ungrateful. He yells at me all the time.
(05:27):
Hurts my feelings. I would toss him to the curb,
except I think he would die by not taking his
meds and my two children would blame me. What should
I do? I am currently in counseling and on tranquilizers.
I can't take this. Just call me Susan, all right, Susan,
(05:49):
not your real name. Listen up, and I will have
my mother Delilah advice for you coming up next. Tonight's
Delilah's dilemma is from somebody who calls herself Susan, who
(06:10):
has been married for three decades to a man who
is verbally abusive, even after she saved his life by
giving him her kidney. Here's what I will say to you,
and to anybody else who is living in an unhappy relationship.
You do not get to determine how other people act.
(06:30):
You can't make jerky people be nice, you can't make
angry people diffuse, you can't make alcoholics stop drinking, and
you can't make verbally abusive people be grateful. It is
impossible to change another person's behavior. All you get to
do is decide how you are going to respond to it. Susan,
(06:52):
you are responding to your husband's meanness by losing your identity,
your serenity, and it sounds like your health. Are you
going to continue to let this man's cruelty destroy your life?
Are you going to stay in the victim role? Or
(07:13):
are you going to step out of that victim role
and say, you know what, I have lived the role
of victim far too long. I am not responsible for
another human being who is over the age of eighteen
and the decisions they make. If he cannot treat me
with dignity and respect and love. I am not spending
one more night being yelled at. There's no way I
(07:37):
would live with verbal abuse ever again. I did that
far too long. You get a backbone, You put your
shoulders back, and you say never again. Are you going
to be mean to me? If you're going to live
with me and share the space with me, and share
this life with me, you're going to respect me and
be kind to me and loving towards me. And if
you can't do that, then buddy, You're going to be
(07:58):
making your own bed because I ain't doing it anymore.
That is my best mother, Delilah. Advice to you, Susan
not your real name. Good luck and God bless you.
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Heathers. She says, Dearest Delilah,
(08:20):
I have asked my husband several times for the two
of us to get remarried for our anniversary, the upcoming
one will be eight years. We never had the dream
wedding I always wanted. It was just a magistrate and
a two day honeymoon. But whenever I ask him about it,
he has the same old reply. I already made that
(08:44):
mistake once. It kind of hurts my feelings and I
know he doesn't mean it that way, but still, I
never got the wedding that I wanted, small but intimate.
I thought it would be nice for our anniversary. Should
it be a surprise anniversary party, vow renewal anyway? All
I want is a very close family, a small cake,
(09:05):
and our eight year old son by our side. Am
I asking too much? Signed? Misswedding, Misswedding. I will have
my response to you coming up next Tonight's Delilah's dilemma
(09:25):
is from Heather, who's been married eight years, didn't have
the dream wedding. She wanted small but intimate, and would
like to do that as a val renewal. And here's
what sticks out to me, Heather. When you bring up
a val renewal to your husband, you say, his response
is always the same, I already made that mistake once.
(09:48):
That is what's concerning me. He's saying something very hurtful,
and though he might be saying it as a joke,
it's not funny. So instead focusing on the wedding you
never had, I would focus on the marriage you now have,
and I would look and see if there's ways that
(10:10):
you can open the lines of communication that you can
get your husband to see that those little quips and
jokes are like barbs that hurt your heart. A wedding
is an event, but a marriage that's a priceless gift
from God. And it sounds to me like you are
(10:32):
not getting the love and the respect that you desire.
And I bet if you can help your husband to
understand that on some level and work through that, then
maybe he'll understand how important it is to you to
have that little dream wedding you've always hoped for. I
(10:53):
so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much
as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more
with you each weekday on Hey, It's Delilah Divine
Host
Delilah
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