September 15, 2022 • 44 mins
Last week, Josh and Dulcé promised an episode on bananas vs. plantains and they delivered. Dulcé defends her love for plantains, and goes after Josh’s banana-yellow hoodie (yep, he color-coordinated, and yep, she went there). Josh and Dulcé also chat about whether anyone actually likes banana-flavored candy, how you CAN but shouldn’t eat a raw plantain, and why some people feel the need to hum while eating.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, everybody, welcome to Hold up. It's a podcast that's
a lot about nothing. I'm one of your hosts. I'm
Josh Johnson. I'm a ride for the Daily Show, and
I'm joined by my co host, Say long, what's up?
What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Ladies? How
are you doing? Um sprayed both my ankles. But other
(00:26):
than that, I'm good. Other than that fire, doing well.
Just out here, just living doc um. Shout out to
uh city m d um because the other urgent care
I was going to I think what it was, probably
trying to kill me. Um, but they gave me these
braises to put on my ankles, and um my friend
(00:47):
sent me then my homegirl, Uh homegirl, who I consider
a sister. You know what I mean. They call this
bitch my sister in a regular basis. This human being
you were seeing fourrest Gump. Yeah, you know that part
of the movie where he's running and his leg braces
start breaking off. Be friends with comics. They said it'll
(01:14):
be fun, they said this halfer. Not only First she
sent me the voice memo. First she sent me a
voice memo going run for Est Run. So if you
haven't seen my Instagram. This is what the leg braces
(01:37):
look like. Okay, strapped up, iced out, you understand, double strapped. Okay.
The blessing is every day I'm feeling a little bit
better because I don't have a fracture or nothing. I
do don't have a bone spur on my right foot.
I don't know what the funk that is, but apparently
don't cause a problem. So other than that, I'm straight.
How are you doing all your are your are your
(01:59):
muscles and limb is working correctly? Yeah? Yeah, I feel
I feel all right. So today m hm, this week's episode,
this chapter in our friendship, this crossroads that we're at
is bananas versus plantains, because you tried it, because I
(02:24):
tried it, because you tried it, like a free sample
at a cost caught on a Sunday try dent. I
like how I could feel. I could feel how you've
been saved that up I can I can feel like
as you were doing you were too excited for the steps,
you like the here and the here. I could feel
(02:47):
you waiting. You wanted to say it the other day
when I said this, and then you waited, and then
you did it. Just now, because this is where it's topical.
But you understand, like when I tell somebody, don't play
with me, sir, I'm not made by Nintendo or Parker Brothers.
I did not come with a controller or dice. Do
not play with me. You understand, you know what, We're
not starting in the right place because if this is
(03:07):
anybody's first time listening to this podcast, it's coming real hard.
You know, it feels like there's a lot of aggression. Honestly,
it's not the point. It's for the people to know.
It's for the people to know sometimes to educate. Okay,
this is teach you boot moments, right, and I'm gonna
(03:28):
teach you why plantains just don't have it. You know what,
I'm gonna let you start. I'm gonna let you start
last episode last because you always all right. Last episode.
I started with my vanilla and you are the one
that attacked me about this banana plantain ship. So you
(03:53):
counselor it's actually just a simple white you know, you
count to look. We'll start with your opening statement before
I come before the jewelry, it said, I how I
feels like ahead, talk about your little bananas. Ahead, ahead,
my little bananas. Okay, First of all, bananas high and
potassium high and deliciousness, okay, can help you regulate your blood.
(04:18):
Sugar can be life saving, all right. If somebody went
into a bit of a sugar shock, all right, and
you had a little piece of banana, you put that
in your mouth and you make them chewer it. You chomp, chump,
chomped their mouth for him. Boom, they wake up like
an episode of Wishbone. No no, no, no, no, no no,
(04:40):
not an episode of Wishbone. I'm just saying bananas. They also,
well they do. They stay cheap. Okay, they should be cheaper.
They should actually be cheaper than they are right now.
But that's the cartel's business, and I'm not gonna get
into it. Man, don't speak on nothing. There's none of
your business. All I'm saying is market price versus real price.
(05:03):
They're very cheap and they should be cheaper. Also, your
favorite treats don't they have a banana flavor. I've never
seen a plantain flavored candy. Okay, okay, uh huh. You
keep going and keep going. If you know what I say,
I'm taking notes is what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing.
(05:25):
You banana flavor kiow, like just so people know, you know,
all the time that they'll say, I've been friends. She's
never wanted to curse me out as much as she
does right now, Like I could like like the same
way that I could feel her saving up that comeback.
I can feel how much she wants to swear, and
she's going to get back because she knows what it
(05:46):
will look like to the people if she just starts
cursing at me minute five about fruit, about fruit, So
then it doesn't look like we're friends. If she just
starts letting me have it with all the all the
swear words in the Sailor's Handbook admitted five or fruit fruit.
So I appreciate the restraint, but I could also see
(06:08):
the pullback. Yeah yeah, yeah. What else? What you got candy?
Yeah yeah, candy place? Also some of your favorite treats
when it comes to the puddings, all right, A great
banana pudding, Annila wafer pudding? Okay, a pie cream? What
(06:35):
I mean? How many how many things? Banana? So versatile?
How many things do you want me to list? Where
do you want me to go? Where do you want
me to stop? But they're talking about the birth birthatility.
The versatility matters, It matters in the greatness. Okay, also
the accessibility. It's very cheap, all right, they ripen. Well,
we're not talking about avocados. We're not talking about something
(06:57):
where I'm a cracking open and then just screaming kitchen
like I've lost my mind. Okay, we can watch the
banana riping. Also, I'll even put this out there, all right,
I'll wrap up the opening argument with the fact that
when people even see a plantain, a lot of the world,
a lot of the world in the grocery store, seeing
(07:19):
their first plantain for the first time, they're like, damn,
the bananas big. They don't even respect the fact that
the plantain is a different thing. I've watched people buy
a plant this actually did that boy by friends what time.
It was very funny. He bought a plantain, didn't know it,
Like I'm not I'm not always a good friend. That's
(07:39):
so I let him eat it. So so he breaks
over the plantain and he's like, he's like, oh, it's
banana nasty. Wow. And I was like, that's it's because
it's not it's a it's a different thing. Oh yeah. Oh,
(08:01):
Josh Johnson I didn't know what that you had it
in you. He also kept calling it a planting, even
though I said plantation from the from the duople say planting.
It runs through me. Also, it's people when people say salmon, Yeah, yeah,
uh sword. Oh you'll you'll see a preacher say sword,
(08:21):
and you kind of stopped perspective of it's he's usually
a preacher. Honestly, it's usually a preacher. And every time
it happens, I hear sword and I'm like, you haven't
finished that book. Don't do that. Then the book he
means is the Bible. Um, yeah, the sword of God
will make me get up and leave. Yeah, that's so
(08:43):
what am I you? I lived in a place like
I'm originally from Miami, right, So I grew up in
Atlanta and Miami, and I remember hearing Scrawberry, screet Am, Balance, Liberry,
and they were more acceptable to me m in salmon
(09:06):
and sword. Yeah, there's just something so offensive about it.
I don't know if it's the s I don't know
what it is. You a crest and it's gonna be
a salmon with a sword going through it, just on
a strawberry, a strawberry handle. I can't just I'll usually
(09:31):
get this strawberry crest with a sword and a salmon.
I hate Josh Johnson. Oh you just tried. Oh so
this is my nook. If you bucked trophy, that's what
you're trying to do to me. Hey, it's not gonna
be a trophy. It's gonna be a jacket. I love it. Okay,
So is this your closing statement. I'll wait till the
(09:53):
very end of closed, but I will end my opening. Yes.
Because of how I grew up and where I grew up,
I do about plantains very early. Right now, some people
only know about the plantain when they get it with
some of the Jamaican food or Cuban food, you know,
use like a cribbing food, right only West Africa. Now,
(10:17):
some people, now let's go so you mentioned the sweet,
let's go into the versatility. Okay. Now, a lot of
places they just do the sweet, and that's in Spanish.
They call them my littles. Right, And my mom made
a lot of like Cuban food, Caribbean food growing up,
just because we're from Miami. And so when we talk
(10:39):
about the versatility, bananas can only do sweet. That's the
only thing they can do right. I don't like your
side like that. I don't know even roll your eyes
like that because you have you not had tost on
this mm hmm. Bananas can mostly do not mostly not
(11:07):
mostly you got you got your what do you say?
Banana flavored candy, which we all know is nasty banana?
We know the banana flavored runt, disgusting, slander, lies and slader,
unaccepted slies. First of all lies, lies, lies, banana gross
(11:32):
you all banana nana laters were disgusted. The thing is this,
this is this? Wait wait wait, I let you hold on,
hold on, I let you make your open to statement.
I let you make your open a statement with you.
You ask him a question. I thought I was answered
engaged in some conversation, but I got you right you right,
you right ahead all because I don't want to get
(11:53):
too hot over you. Banana flavored go ahead, dandy, just casting.
We all know when you get runce you would throw
them bananas across the movie there gross gross the banana
now and later? Who wants a banana now and later?
Ain't nobody eating banana llowing laters? I think they might
even discontinue the flavor. Tell me what other banana flavor
(12:17):
candy is there other than the run and the now
and later? Who else out here making mamba? Is mamba
making banana flavor candy? Yes? Trash? Who else? You didn't
even know until I sets um? I believe Starburst, Starburst
and banana flavor? Nothing they Starburst had the yellow is banana?
(12:41):
The yellow it's lie, it's lemon. The yellows lemon. Yes. Wow,
you're telling me your your knowledge of a Starburst. It's
so limited that you did not know that the yellow
Starburst was lemon. Wow. Wow, there's banana flavor of ice cream?
(13:04):
Who was eating that? There's banana flavor? So when you're
talking about banana candies, you're really out here talking about
the things that are thrown away the most often. Ye versatility. Now,
like I said, being show me a situation, because even
banana chips are sweet. So show me a situation where
(13:26):
the banana is used in a non sweet situation. The
dehydrated banana chips are not because they're not sweet, but
they're still sweet. Mhmm. I mean banana can't help the
sugar that it comes with. Okay, there we go. Banana
(13:48):
can only do what banana can do, and bananas giving
you one note. No, no, banana can't blame them for
the sugar but that it has. I'm not blaming them
for the sugar that it has. What I'm saying is
because of the sugar that it has, it's only giving
you one note. Right, No, no, no, no, no, banana
(14:14):
can only give you sweet, less sweet or a lot
of sweet, right, because you don't want to branana turned
brown and basically just condenses down into nothing. Right, So
let's talk about the versatilities. Oh oh my god, I
(14:39):
don't really don't like how much you're enjoying this. You're
talking to someone who does not funk with bananas, has
not really funned. But banana since I was a child,
never been a fan. My mom will buy him, My
(15:00):
brother would eat them, okay, and every time I couldn't
finish one. Because now you're plantain, you're black dot on.
Let me tell you about the plantain, Okay, let me
tell you what the plan team is doing in these
streets on these islands, from continent to continent, from seed
(15:20):
to shining seed. All right, And he's talking about versatility
your plantain, because you know when the bananas green. You
can't eat it right. You have to wait till it's yellow.
You gotta wait for it to get the little spots
on it, little speck, a little little freckles, you know,
little pigmentation, little melanin coming up in your fruit before
(15:43):
you can eat it, before it gets too soft. Your
plantain can be eaten at all of these stages. You
can need a plantain when it's green. You need a
plantain when it's yellow. You can need a plantain when
it is brown and black as ship. In fact, you
can get multiple things. So this is the thing. You
(16:03):
can't tyme green playing tames you've got tossed on this right. Fried,
you've got my phone on right. You take your soaking
a little salt, smash it, thrown, fry it. You're taking
plantain green, Cut it up, you soak it a little
salt water, or you don't have to, you know, depends
on what you doing with your heart. Then press it down,
(16:25):
put them in some oil boom. You can boil it
up using a thick in the stew. Also you can
dry it, turn it in the flour. When I do
the Daniel fast every year, I can't use weak flour.
I got playing teams. Flour in here, making pancakes, making muffles,
all right out here doing the work. Then you know what,
like you could put it into a stew thick in
(16:46):
the stew up. Okay, you do, my fungo. Mix it
up with some meat, put it on the plate next
to some rice. Bam, we're doing that. Put in suits,
put it in soups. Okay, with a little you kava.
You got some more plan tames. Keep letting them get dark,
even let me get put them in a plastic bag,
forget about them. Forget about them. Let that skin and
(17:07):
look like it's had a long vacation at the beach.
I'm talking about black. I'm talking about my tumbo. You
take it out of there, bam, and now it's delicious
and sweet Friday up and now you've got my doodles
or sweet playing teins. Do you see what I'm saying.
If I got a couple of different plantains, okay, I
can make an appetizer, a main course, and a dessert
(17:30):
from one fucking fruit. I'm out here doing iron chef
in this bitch for one ingredient, giving you everything that
you need. Okay, I've given you savory I've given you sweet. Also,
when you want to bring up potassium, plantain has just
as much stassium as a sucking Badama. We want to
talk about vitamins and minerals. M it seems like no, no, no,
(17:55):
no no, not seems like I gave you everything. Oh
I'm how it ripens. Plantains rip in the same way
banana ripers, because that's what When the banana is too ripe,
he gets super super mushy, and he can't do ship
with it. Either make banana bread or give it over
to somebody with no teeth. Okay, that's you can do
with an overripe banana. Overripe around Team Friday, picture frieda
(18:19):
up and you have a delicious treat. Okay, I had
everything you were talking about. You everything was talking about.
Because can you deny? Can you deny that the banana
cannot do savory and sweet but the plantain can't. What
I'll tell you, no, no, no, no, no no no.
What I'll tell you is that the banana I don't
(18:43):
see it doing savory. I also barely see the plantain
doing sweet. Okay, you got everybody fucked up. Everybody knows
you lit that skin on that plant. Team get dark.
You just let it be itself. Banana got to hop
into candies and splits, okay, all the other ship. Now, No,
(19:06):
there may not be a plantain putting that we know about,
but there's a lot of products in the world. I
don't know people out here making sweet plantain putting. I
don't know because think about how wild banana pudding could be. Also,
I'm surprised the Southerner hasn't thought of as yet, like
taking the like a banana and banana putting in, like
frying them up a bit and then putting them into
(19:28):
putting because you don't have to watter banana and banana
putting just getting mushy and gross. Yeah, looking about your cousin,
they get disgusted. You take them out, looking about your cousin.
M M. I guess my thing is just And look,
I'm not saying that it is going to always be disgusting.
I just the sweet plantains that I've had have been fine.
It may just not be from me. I respect that
(19:49):
people like it. I like the people like it. I
love when people like different things. But for me, plante
can do savory, it's not really doing sweet, not at
the level of banana because the banana can only do
one That's what I'm saying. The banana only has one gear.
It doesn't have the option to do anything else. If
(20:10):
you make banana chips, banana chip is gonna be sweet
or more sweet. Right, It's not versatile. It's just not.
It could be something you eat in your hand or
something that you see. One of my favorite thing to
seeing a grown man trying to try to eat a banana.
What do you mean listen, you know he really just
wants to bite into it. Guesn't a man go to
(20:33):
eat a banana and he goes to bite into it,
and then he looks around it sees that people can
see him eating his bananas. So now he has to
break it off into pieces and put it in his
mouth like he's eating chicken nuggets. Because he's not bold
enough to just bite into a banana. I think you
need to start hanging around different man. No, no, no, no,
this is the man that I knew. I'm just saying
I don't. I wouldn't even want to be on the
(20:53):
side of the block as somebody who's like, not, let
me break this off, because I don't want anybody thinking
that they said, you've never heard an say paws before
he had a banana, not in person. No, it is
the wildest thick Sometimes I feel bad for men like
you just want to eat this thing sideways, Like what's happening, bro,
(21:13):
It's very eating the banana sideways. That's that's insane. So
when we're talking about these phallic fruits, do you think
then that if if it was put to the people,
which we will do at the end of the episode,
(21:34):
do you think that, as far as fruits go, bananas
are more popular than plantains. I think it's because of
the country we live in. Well, I'm saying in the world, though,
do you think that because because you're telling me things
about plantains that I didn't know. Um, the dishes, I
didn't know all the dishes you were asking me have
(21:56):
I had certain dishes that haven't happen. So I'm asking
if you factored in the whole world, not just the US,
and you put the two fruits up against each other,
which one do you think would be more popular? I
think the plantain will be more popular because of the
versatility of the plantain planting chips and some guawk, oh
(22:19):
delicious plantain chips don't do it for me, Like, yeah,
there's just something that I've had some bad ones. I've
had some bad ones. I can tell you that, yeah,
I'm bad. They were crumbling times. I've only ever had
it three times. I can tell you if you want
to try a good plantain chip, go to in Panada, Mama.
(22:39):
They got a high quality plantain chip, and that you
know over at that joint in that organization. This is
something that I alighted growing up. So I think it
also is like your proximity to it, how often you
had it as a child. It's just something you don't like.
I don't genuinely I don't like the flavor of a banana.
I'm like the texture of a banana. I think I
(23:00):
like a playing team because the the flavor is more.
Because like I feel like bananas are an overpowering flavor.
Sometimes youthing like oh, we've gotta we've got to they'll
have like these you know, the smoothie somebody. Uh that's
many smoothie places and like, oh, we use a banana
as a base, And I'm like, bitch, you cannot put
enough fruit in this stf for me to taste all
(23:22):
of banana. You've been putting this bitch. Look, you keep
coming at and disrespecting the superior flavor. It's not superior,
and it's anything that it takes, It takes over other ship.
You see what I'm saying. If you're telling me that
I'm gonna get a pineapple mango smoothie, don't give me
(23:46):
a banana smoothie with a suggestion. Don't give me a
don't drop into my mind, oh body giving me a
whisper of mango an after thought of pineapple. Give me
the fruit. Now, it's banana's old repowering. It takes over.
That's why would I make my smoothies. My nutrition has
taught me to freeze the bananas, not not to change
(24:10):
the texture of it, but to subdue the flavor of
the bananas so it does not overtake my smoothie experience.
Help me out, then, why is it banana's fault that
the rest of these fruits are on struggle? Hold on, now,
you know a man go in a pineapple, come out
here kicking and screaming. Okay, don't act like that that
(24:32):
a pineapple get giving you coladas? They're giving overpowered, aren't they?
Aren't they getting overpowered? Easily. Now, why is that happening?
You know what, I will attract this statement your honor
only because you know, when you eat something and there's
something you don't like in it, the first thing you
tasted the thing you don't like. Mm hmm. Maybe that's
(24:54):
what's happened. Maybe, so I will I will attract my
previous statement. But what I will say. What I will
say is that the planting gives you a lot of flavors.
It gives you a lot of options. It gives you
a lot of things that you can do that the
banana doesn't. It does give you a lot of meal
(25:17):
options that the banana does not. I'm not I'm not
even disputing. I'm just saying, if we're talking about greatness,
all right, greatness? You think that a fruit you unzip
is greater than this other fruit that you unzipped. Come on,
(25:39):
all you've given me is nasty candy. You candy, I've
given you peak flavors. Giving banana laffy. Taffy should be
burned in a trash fire. Anybody, this is the other
thing this might Nana taffy shouldn't even be donated to
the needy. That's the stop. If you're give out banana
(26:00):
paty at halloweens. You put a razor blade in my apple.
I would take a razor blade in an apple before
I took a packet of banana afrot? How and dare
I think you wanted to say, how very dare you? So?
Look my thing listen you think on me wronghead? No, no, no, no.
(26:25):
My thing is you can take a banana to the
head off the rip when you one zip. All right,
plantain has to been manipulated. It has to be heated,
it has to be dried, it has to be cool.
That has to be mushed. It has to be all
these things because on its own baseline, straight out of
the earth, the way that the Lord gave it to us. Side.
(26:48):
But it's not edibles. Just you're not just biting into
a plantain soon as you get ahold of one. That's
not what's happening without a great where you can't eat
a green anything and listen to apple. Yeah, but I'm saying,
even when the plantain is ripe and ready, it's ready
to still get worked on. It's still like what your
fruit does is a relay, right, It's what my fruit
(27:10):
does is a sprint. Throwing it out there, just saying
if you want in the same in the same way
that you can eat a banana, raw it once it's
ripe and zip it, eat it, you can eat a
plantain like that. Most people don't. Should you can't? I
(27:30):
know what I'm saying. You can? But should you? Just
because you can do something that means you should do something?
Is that what you do? Are you out here just
taking plantas as soon as you see them, ripping them open,
biting them down? That's what we all know that You've
got to let a plantain get ripe right, Okay, even
when it's ripe, right? Are you just biting into it?
(27:52):
Or other people that eat it? In another way? I
don't eat sushimi, but there are other people out here
eating fish fresh after art just hand in ocean. I'm
not that person do So why do they are when
they bite into it? What is that? What is that?
(28:14):
Right now? That's a great question. You said it three
times and I let it slide. That is an amazing
question for it. And I would love if the first
time you watch someone eat sushibi, they just to themselves quietly,
went are a when you imitate somebody eating doesn't make noise. Depends.
(28:38):
There's some people. If I'm talking about how they were eating,
I just make the face of how they were eating.
But if I'm talking about like, okay, so this is
this is to digress. This is very funny to me.
This is like, this is like peak funny to me. Okay,
So my uncle where he would be eating stuff, he
would this is the same uncle that opened his foot
(29:00):
with the microwave to take soup out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I got it. If you are not aware of Josh
Johnson's comedy, he tells a joke about his uncle um
burning his foot with soup because he had a microwave
on the floor, which is one of the most uncle
things you can do. Yeah, he's done that with LFE
together another counter. Eddie doesn't have a counter, that's why
(29:24):
it's on the floor. But he literally could have just
used the box that the microwave came in. He has options.
He chooses to live like this. Oh my god. So yeah,
his uncle uses his foot. But the thing is, it's like,
but so he used the foot to take the bowl
out the microt because he could have just been over
This is where men can't be choosed so then whenever
(29:47):
he's eating something he really loves, like loves, loves, loves
for the bobbles heart like a little kid loves. He
can't eat something good without humping. So then so it.
But it's not a musical home. It's a creepy home.
So then he'll bite in it something like and it's
(30:11):
consistent like a dying car from a distance. Yep, it's
not a home like m it's none of those. It's
just him biting and just and if you break it up,
he will act like he doesn't hear it. I do know.
(30:33):
I was in college at the first time I saw
grown man do that. This guy was like working with
hep was like in one of our shows, were like
a crown adult man. He had ice cream and he
had a song in his heart Jack Yeah everything, Yeah,
a whole little It wasn't a song something, but he was.
I was like, what's what's going on? He's like, oh,
(30:56):
what are eat things that I like? I like to
hume about it. I was like, Okay, let your life
for him. Did you see the thing on Instagram where
that where that bride? They were filled with that bride
and she was enjoying her wedding bill, and so she
was like this and she was chewing, and then she
saw the camera. She was like, I think I saw her.
She's like, yeah, listen, it's your wedding day and your
(31:23):
food is good. Bitch turned up, Like, listen, if I
get a wedding day, if the Laura provides, I'm at
the fool on my wedding day. Jack, everybody have a
slipping slide of this, bitch. I don't know, I don't
know what can happen. All right, this could end up
accidentally being a wedding in the last two days. Who knows.
We're gonna be We're gonna be drinking, a DJ, gonna
(31:45):
be lit. There will not be a band because I
hate bands at weddings. Mm hmm oh. There's nothing more
annoying than a fucking banding away. What's the what's the
difference to the don't do that DJ? Don't if the
band is good, want because the band is limited in
what they can play. But if you ever list the
(32:06):
band cannot play swag, surf and cany We don't know that.
Don't bring the right instruments. Josh bring the swag, Joshua,
bring the surfboard. Joshua Elizabeth Johnson. If you believe Joshua
Elizabeth Johnson, I will not be treated this way, fucking
(32:37):
dare unless this is a band that can play. I
gotta have a black band, and I have a black
not like a wedding band. It's like a black band,
a band at a black wedding. Out of here? Can
a band play the wibble? I don't want to do
this with you. I don't want to do this with you.
You bob can't even electric slide, Elizabeth, I can't. I can't.
(33:01):
So you're just gonna go ahead and attack me off properly? Yeah,
probably can electrics line. So I guess my thing. I
I think, m hmm that bananas are still cheaper than plantains. Well,
(33:25):
plantains aren't sold by the bunch, But doesn't that make
them much more expensive by not selling them by the bunch?
I don't know what's the unit price versus by the pound.
The last time I checked, bananas were twenty nine cents
a pound. In organic bananas for forty nine cents a pound?
And so what are plantains usually going for? The plantain
(33:46):
is cheaper? Got anything else, Elizabeth? You guys are gonna
read they be all this podcast. He I mean, listen,
(34:08):
you try. I'll say this. I have been amazed and
how hard you have worked to present your banana argument.
I mean you even wore a banana yellow hoodie. Mm hmm.
I came through, bully. You were worried I was gonna
(34:29):
say something about this hoodie. I'm not scared of you.
Good because people act like that. I'm not a nice lady, Josh.
So listen, we're gonna kick this over to you, the listeners,
(34:51):
because Josh has really just dedicated himself to just losing
what the delay on that was beautiful. Bananas are great.
(35:15):
If you agree, let us know alright. Plantains are amazing
and versatile. If you want to be right, don't let
DULs say trash our beloved flavor. Okay, what beloved, our
beloved fruit, our potassium, our beloved vitamin. Plantains have all them.
(35:37):
I looked it up. Now when you cook them out, now,
when you cook them out, all right, I can take
that banana raw. All right, you can eat a plants
ain't raw. Moth. People don't go you can, but should
you you know what we're gonna see. Hold on, hold on,
if you're a bunch of sand in my mouth. I'd
bite right into a raw plattein. You have decided need
(36:00):
to live like a seven really? Yes me, yes, it's surprising.
I thought you were a nice, sophisticated man. Okay, all right, propaganta,
all right, bana propaganda. You know you know we're just
(36:23):
gonna do people like bananas. I'm just gonna ask. I'm
just gonna ask this Internet. How about I asked the
internet if people know what plant aids are? I googled this.
People also ask what percentage of the population like? Is bananas? Right?
(36:46):
Why do people like banana so much? Why banana's gross?
Why do not? The first thing is on the urban
list things only people who hate bananas understand. Now, mind you,
I don't like bananas. I'll eat banana upbread because the
bread has found a way to really. Finally, so do
(37:07):
the banana and put it in its place where it
can help be a part of the flavor profile and
not dominated like a bullet. So once again, we're gonna
kick it over to you, the listener. Let us know
how you feel about plantains, how you feel about bananas,
how you feel about them verses each other? Maybe you
love both, does one edge it out over the other.
(37:28):
And look, maybe maybe you love the thing or you
hate the thing more than our argument could take into account.
All right, I understand, I really do get it if
you love plantains so much that my immaculate argument fell
on death be here, So I understand that, right, I
(37:49):
even get how maybe you could have been swayed by
some of the lies and propaganda that my co hosts
throughout at Bananas. All right, But I hope that you'll
let us know how you feel. I hope you'll hit
us up, tell us how you're enjoying the show. Tell
us if there's anything else that you want us to
(38:10):
talk about, versus anything else you wants to talk about,
what's on yours. Why Josh Johnson is living in a
fool's paradise, Johnson is out here in the clouds, all right, Okay, Sean,
(38:34):
Josh Johnson has not only defamed me, slandered me. This
is a this is all record, This is all wax.
So I think it's libel talk about I'm spreading lies
and propaganderer knowing good damn well it his American Christian mind, Okay,
that he has been coming from my neck the whole time.
(38:57):
He No, this ain't how we usually, This ain't how
we usually get down, but Josh Johnson, it started to
take things with personal Jesus. Okay for me right now.
(39:18):
I don't think anybody ever said, don't you dare pray
for me? I'm making my closing argument. Shut up, boy,
So I knew what you were doing. I knew this
prayer once it since here you were praying around you,
but you were praying it was my closing statement. But
then the Lord fell up, the spirit of the Lord
(39:40):
fell upon my heart. It since my ankles are messed
up and I cannot dance like David danced. I don't know.
There are people on this listen to this podcast. I'm like, man,
I know they're Christian, but why they gotta keep talking
about it? Oh wait, they need me and rewrite, so
(40:01):
I'm gonna run. Uh they just text here. Okay, So
thank you so much for listening to hold up with me,
do this this loan and Josh Johnson. John's aston shows
coming up. Please look on his website in his Instagram.
He literally just ran out of the room. Thank you
for listening to hold up and just remember Josh is
(40:22):
always wrong. Bye bye. Everybody go, this has been hold up.
(40:45):
We've covered conscious rap versus club bangers, bars versus body wash,
diners versus waffle houses, all sorts of things. What else
should we be talking about? We want to know from you.
Let us know, drop us a comment, or hit hold
up on social at the Daily Show, h
Hey, everybody, welcome to Hold up. It's a podcast that's
a lot about nothing. I'm one of your hosts. I'm
Josh Johnson. I'm a ride for the Daily Show, and
I'm joined by my co host, Say long, what's up?
What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Ladies? How
are you doing? Um sprayed both my ankles. But other
(00:26):
than that, I'm good. Other than that fire, doing well.
Just out here, just living doc um. Shout out to
uh city m d um because the other urgent care
I was going to I think what it was, probably
trying to kill me. Um, but they gave me these
braises to put on my ankles, and um my friend
(00:47):
sent me then my homegirl, Uh homegirl, who I consider
a sister. You know what I mean. They call this
bitch my sister in a regular basis. This human being
you were seeing fourrest Gump. Yeah, you know that part
of the movie where he's running and his leg braces
start breaking off. Be friends with comics. They said it'll
(01:14):
be fun, they said this halfer. Not only First she
sent me the voice memo. First she sent me a
voice memo going run for Est Run. So if you
haven't seen my Instagram. This is what the leg braces
(01:37):
look like. Okay, strapped up, iced out, you understand, double strapped. Okay.
The blessing is every day I'm feeling a little bit
better because I don't have a fracture or nothing. I
do don't have a bone spur on my right foot.
I don't know what the funk that is, but apparently
don't cause a problem. So other than that, I'm straight.
How are you doing all your are your are your
(01:59):
muscles and limb is working correctly? Yeah? Yeah, I feel
I feel all right. So today m hm, this week's episode,
this chapter in our friendship, this crossroads that we're at
is bananas versus plantains, because you tried it, because I
(02:24):
tried it, because you tried it, like a free sample
at a cost caught on a Sunday try dent. I
like how I could feel. I could feel how you've
been saved that up I can I can feel like
as you were doing you were too excited for the steps,
you like the here and the here. I could feel
(02:47):
you waiting. You wanted to say it the other day
when I said this, and then you waited, and then
you did it. Just now, because this is where it's topical.
But you understand, like when I tell somebody, don't play
with me, sir, I'm not made by Nintendo or Parker Brothers.
I did not come with a controller or dice. Do
not play with me. You understand, you know what, We're
not starting in the right place because if this is
(03:07):
anybody's first time listening to this podcast, it's coming real hard.
You know, it feels like there's a lot of aggression. Honestly,
it's not the point. It's for the people to know.
It's for the people to know sometimes to educate. Okay,
this is teach you boot moments, right, and I'm gonna
(03:28):
teach you why plantains just don't have it. You know what,
I'm gonna let you start. I'm gonna let you start
last episode last because you always all right. Last episode.
I started with my vanilla and you are the one
that attacked me about this banana plantain ship. So you
(03:53):
counselor it's actually just a simple white you know, you
count to look. We'll start with your opening statement before
I come before the jewelry, it said, I how I
feels like ahead, talk about your little bananas. Ahead, ahead,
my little bananas. Okay, First of all, bananas high and
potassium high and deliciousness, okay, can help you regulate your blood.
(04:18):
Sugar can be life saving, all right. If somebody went
into a bit of a sugar shock, all right, and
you had a little piece of banana, you put that
in your mouth and you make them chewer it. You chomp, chump,
chomped their mouth for him. Boom, they wake up like
an episode of Wishbone. No no, no, no, no, no no,
(04:40):
not an episode of Wishbone. I'm just saying bananas. They also,
well they do. They stay cheap. Okay, they should be cheaper.
They should actually be cheaper than they are right now.
But that's the cartel's business, and I'm not gonna get
into it. Man, don't speak on nothing. There's none of
your business. All I'm saying is market price versus real price.
(05:03):
They're very cheap and they should be cheaper. Also, your
favorite treats don't they have a banana flavor. I've never
seen a plantain flavored candy. Okay, okay, uh huh. You
keep going and keep going. If you know what I say,
I'm taking notes is what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing.
(05:25):
You banana flavor kiow, like just so people know, you know,
all the time that they'll say, I've been friends. She's
never wanted to curse me out as much as she
does right now, Like I could like like the same
way that I could feel her saving up that comeback.
I can feel how much she wants to swear, and
she's going to get back because she knows what it
(05:46):
will look like to the people if she just starts
cursing at me minute five about fruit, about fruit, So
then it doesn't look like we're friends. If she just
starts letting me have it with all the all the
swear words in the Sailor's Handbook admitted five or fruit fruit.
So I appreciate the restraint, but I could also see
(06:08):
the pullback. Yeah yeah, yeah. What else? What you got candy?
Yeah yeah, candy place? Also some of your favorite treats
when it comes to the puddings, all right, A great
banana pudding, Annila wafer pudding? Okay, a pie cream? What
(06:35):
I mean? How many how many things? Banana? So versatile?
How many things do you want me to list? Where
do you want me to go? Where do you want
me to stop? But they're talking about the birth birthatility.
The versatility matters, It matters in the greatness. Okay, also
the accessibility. It's very cheap, all right, they ripen. Well,
we're not talking about avocados. We're not talking about something
(06:57):
where I'm a cracking open and then just screaming kitchen
like I've lost my mind. Okay, we can watch the
banana riping. Also, I'll even put this out there, all right,
I'll wrap up the opening argument with the fact that
when people even see a plantain, a lot of the world,
a lot of the world in the grocery store, seeing
(07:19):
their first plantain for the first time, they're like, damn,
the bananas big. They don't even respect the fact that
the plantain is a different thing. I've watched people buy
a plant this actually did that boy by friends what time.
It was very funny. He bought a plantain, didn't know it,
Like I'm not I'm not always a good friend. That's
(07:39):
so I let him eat it. So so he breaks
over the plantain and he's like, he's like, oh, it's
banana nasty. Wow. And I was like, that's it's because
it's not it's a it's a different thing. Oh yeah. Oh,
(08:01):
Josh Johnson I didn't know what that you had it
in you. He also kept calling it a planting, even
though I said plantation from the from the duople say planting.
It runs through me. Also, it's people when people say salmon, Yeah, yeah,
uh sword. Oh you'll you'll see a preacher say sword,
(08:21):
and you kind of stopped perspective of it's he's usually
a preacher. Honestly, it's usually a preacher. And every time
it happens, I hear sword and I'm like, you haven't
finished that book. Don't do that. Then the book he
means is the Bible. Um, yeah, the sword of God
will make me get up and leave. Yeah, that's so
(08:43):
what am I you? I lived in a place like
I'm originally from Miami, right, So I grew up in
Atlanta and Miami, and I remember hearing Scrawberry, screet Am, Balance, Liberry,
and they were more acceptable to me m in salmon
(09:06):
and sword. Yeah, there's just something so offensive about it.
I don't know if it's the s I don't know
what it is. You a crest and it's gonna be
a salmon with a sword going through it, just on
a strawberry, a strawberry handle. I can't just I'll usually
(09:31):
get this strawberry crest with a sword and a salmon.
I hate Josh Johnson. Oh you just tried. Oh so
this is my nook. If you bucked trophy, that's what
you're trying to do to me. Hey, it's not gonna
be a trophy. It's gonna be a jacket. I love it. Okay,
So is this your closing statement. I'll wait till the
(09:53):
very end of closed, but I will end my opening. Yes.
Because of how I grew up and where I grew up,
I do about plantains very early. Right now, some people
only know about the plantain when they get it with
some of the Jamaican food or Cuban food, you know,
use like a cribbing food, right only West Africa. Now,
(10:17):
some people, now let's go so you mentioned the sweet,
let's go into the versatility. Okay. Now, a lot of
places they just do the sweet, and that's in Spanish.
They call them my littles. Right, And my mom made
a lot of like Cuban food, Caribbean food growing up,
just because we're from Miami. And so when we talk
(10:39):
about the versatility, bananas can only do sweet. That's the
only thing they can do right. I don't like your
side like that. I don't know even roll your eyes
like that because you have you not had tost on
this mm hmm. Bananas can mostly do not mostly not
(11:07):
mostly you got you got your what do you say?
Banana flavored candy, which we all know is nasty banana?
We know the banana flavored runt, disgusting, slander, lies and slader,
unaccepted slies. First of all lies, lies, lies, banana gross
(11:32):
you all banana nana laters were disgusted. The thing is this,
this is this? Wait wait wait, I let you hold on,
hold on, I let you make your open to statement.
I let you make your open a statement with you.
You ask him a question. I thought I was answered
engaged in some conversation, but I got you right you right,
you right ahead all because I don't want to get
(11:53):
too hot over you. Banana flavored go ahead, dandy, just casting.
We all know when you get runce you would throw
them bananas across the movie there gross gross the banana
now and later? Who wants a banana now and later?
Ain't nobody eating banana llowing laters? I think they might
even discontinue the flavor. Tell me what other banana flavor
(12:17):
candy is there other than the run and the now
and later? Who else out here making mamba? Is mamba
making banana flavor candy? Yes? Trash? Who else? You didn't
even know until I sets um? I believe Starburst, Starburst
and banana flavor? Nothing they Starburst had the yellow is banana?
(12:41):
The yellow it's lie, it's lemon. The yellows lemon. Yes. Wow,
you're telling me your your knowledge of a Starburst. It's
so limited that you did not know that the yellow
Starburst was lemon. Wow. Wow, there's banana flavor of ice cream?
(13:04):
Who was eating that? There's banana flavor? So when you're
talking about banana candies, you're really out here talking about
the things that are thrown away the most often. Ye versatility. Now,
like I said, being show me a situation, because even
banana chips are sweet. So show me a situation where
(13:26):
the banana is used in a non sweet situation. The
dehydrated banana chips are not because they're not sweet, but
they're still sweet. Mhmm. I mean banana can't help the
sugar that it comes with. Okay, there we go. Banana
(13:48):
can only do what banana can do, and bananas giving
you one note. No, no, banana can't blame them for
the sugar but that it has. I'm not blaming them
for the sugar that it has. What I'm saying is
because of the sugar that it has, it's only giving
you one note. Right, No, no, no, no, no, banana
(14:14):
can only give you sweet, less sweet or a lot
of sweet, right, because you don't want to branana turned
brown and basically just condenses down into nothing. Right, So
let's talk about the versatilities. Oh oh my god, I
(14:39):
don't really don't like how much you're enjoying this. You're
talking to someone who does not funk with bananas, has
not really funned. But banana since I was a child,
never been a fan. My mom will buy him, My
(15:00):
brother would eat them, okay, and every time I couldn't
finish one. Because now you're plantain, you're black dot on.
Let me tell you about the plantain, Okay, let me
tell you what the plan team is doing in these
streets on these islands, from continent to continent, from seed
(15:20):
to shining seed. All right, And he's talking about versatility
your plantain, because you know when the bananas green. You
can't eat it right. You have to wait till it's yellow.
You gotta wait for it to get the little spots
on it, little speck, a little little freckles, you know,
little pigmentation, little melanin coming up in your fruit before
(15:43):
you can eat it, before it gets too soft. Your
plantain can be eaten at all of these stages. You
can need a plantain when it's green. You need a
plantain when it's yellow. You can need a plantain when
it is brown and black as ship. In fact, you
can get multiple things. So this is the thing. You
(16:03):
can't tyme green playing tames you've got tossed on this right. Fried,
you've got my phone on right. You take your soaking
a little salt, smash it, thrown, fry it. You're taking
plantain green, Cut it up, you soak it a little
salt water, or you don't have to, you know, depends
on what you doing with your heart. Then press it down,
(16:25):
put them in some oil boom. You can boil it
up using a thick in the stew. Also you can
dry it, turn it in the flour. When I do
the Daniel fast every year, I can't use weak flour.
I got playing teams. Flour in here, making pancakes, making muffles,
all right out here doing the work. Then you know what,
like you could put it into a stew thick in
(16:46):
the stew up. Okay, you do, my fungo. Mix it
up with some meat, put it on the plate next
to some rice. Bam, we're doing that. Put in suits,
put it in soups. Okay, with a little you kava.
You got some more plan tames. Keep letting them get dark,
even let me get put them in a plastic bag,
forget about them. Forget about them. Let that skin and
(17:07):
look like it's had a long vacation at the beach.
I'm talking about black. I'm talking about my tumbo. You
take it out of there, bam, and now it's delicious
and sweet Friday up and now you've got my doodles
or sweet playing teins. Do you see what I'm saying.
If I got a couple of different plantains, okay, I
can make an appetizer, a main course, and a dessert
(17:30):
from one fucking fruit. I'm out here doing iron chef
in this bitch for one ingredient, giving you everything that
you need. Okay, I've given you savory I've given you sweet. Also,
when you want to bring up potassium, plantain has just
as much stassium as a sucking Badama. We want to
talk about vitamins and minerals. M it seems like no, no, no,
(17:55):
no no, not seems like I gave you everything. Oh
I'm how it ripens. Plantains rip in the same way
banana ripers, because that's what When the banana is too ripe,
he gets super super mushy, and he can't do ship
with it. Either make banana bread or give it over
to somebody with no teeth. Okay, that's you can do
with an overripe banana. Overripe around Team Friday, picture frieda
(18:19):
up and you have a delicious treat. Okay, I had
everything you were talking about. You everything was talking about.
Because can you deny? Can you deny that the banana
cannot do savory and sweet but the plantain can't. What
I'll tell you, no, no, no, no, no no no.
What I'll tell you is that the banana I don't
(18:43):
see it doing savory. I also barely see the plantain
doing sweet. Okay, you got everybody fucked up. Everybody knows
you lit that skin on that plant. Team get dark.
You just let it be itself. Banana got to hop
into candies and splits, okay, all the other ship. Now, No,
(19:06):
there may not be a plantain putting that we know about,
but there's a lot of products in the world. I
don't know people out here making sweet plantain putting. I
don't know because think about how wild banana pudding could be. Also,
I'm surprised the Southerner hasn't thought of as yet, like
taking the like a banana and banana putting in, like
frying them up a bit and then putting them into
(19:28):
putting because you don't have to watter banana and banana
putting just getting mushy and gross. Yeah, looking about your cousin,
they get disgusted. You take them out, looking about your cousin.
M M. I guess my thing is just And look,
I'm not saying that it is going to always be disgusting.
I just the sweet plantains that I've had have been fine.
It may just not be from me. I respect that
(19:49):
people like it. I like the people like it. I
love when people like different things. But for me, plante
can do savory, it's not really doing sweet, not at
the level of banana because the banana can only do
one That's what I'm saying. The banana only has one gear.
It doesn't have the option to do anything else. If
(20:10):
you make banana chips, banana chip is gonna be sweet
or more sweet. Right, It's not versatile. It's just not.
It could be something you eat in your hand or
something that you see. One of my favorite thing to
seeing a grown man trying to try to eat a banana.
What do you mean listen, you know he really just
wants to bite into it. Guesn't a man go to
(20:33):
eat a banana and he goes to bite into it,
and then he looks around it sees that people can
see him eating his bananas. So now he has to
break it off into pieces and put it in his
mouth like he's eating chicken nuggets. Because he's not bold
enough to just bite into a banana. I think you
need to start hanging around different man. No, no, no, no,
this is the man that I knew. I'm just saying
I don't. I wouldn't even want to be on the
(20:53):
side of the block as somebody who's like, not, let
me break this off, because I don't want anybody thinking
that they said, you've never heard an say paws before
he had a banana, not in person. No, it is
the wildest thick Sometimes I feel bad for men like
you just want to eat this thing sideways, Like what's happening, bro,
(21:13):
It's very eating the banana sideways. That's that's insane. So
when we're talking about these phallic fruits, do you think
then that if if it was put to the people,
which we will do at the end of the episode,
(21:34):
do you think that, as far as fruits go, bananas
are more popular than plantains. I think it's because of
the country we live in. Well, I'm saying in the world, though,
do you think that because because you're telling me things
about plantains that I didn't know. Um, the dishes, I
didn't know all the dishes you were asking me have
(21:56):
I had certain dishes that haven't happen. So I'm asking
if you factored in the whole world, not just the US,
and you put the two fruits up against each other,
which one do you think would be more popular? I
think the plantain will be more popular because of the
versatility of the plantain planting chips and some guawk, oh
(22:19):
delicious plantain chips don't do it for me, Like, yeah,
there's just something that I've had some bad ones. I've
had some bad ones. I can tell you that, yeah,
I'm bad. They were crumbling times. I've only ever had
it three times. I can tell you if you want
to try a good plantain chip, go to in Panada, Mama.
(22:39):
They got a high quality plantain chip, and that you
know over at that joint in that organization. This is
something that I alighted growing up. So I think it
also is like your proximity to it, how often you
had it as a child. It's just something you don't like.
I don't genuinely I don't like the flavor of a banana.
I'm like the texture of a banana. I think I
(23:00):
like a playing team because the the flavor is more.
Because like I feel like bananas are an overpowering flavor.
Sometimes youthing like oh, we've gotta we've got to they'll
have like these you know, the smoothie somebody. Uh that's
many smoothie places and like, oh, we use a banana
as a base, And I'm like, bitch, you cannot put
enough fruit in this stf for me to taste all
(23:22):
of banana. You've been putting this bitch. Look, you keep
coming at and disrespecting the superior flavor. It's not superior,
and it's anything that it takes, It takes over other ship.
You see what I'm saying. If you're telling me that
I'm gonna get a pineapple mango smoothie, don't give me
(23:46):
a banana smoothie with a suggestion. Don't give me a
don't drop into my mind, oh body giving me a
whisper of mango an after thought of pineapple. Give me
the fruit. Now, it's banana's old repowering. It takes over.
That's why would I make my smoothies. My nutrition has
taught me to freeze the bananas, not not to change
(24:10):
the texture of it, but to subdue the flavor of
the bananas so it does not overtake my smoothie experience.
Help me out, then, why is it banana's fault that
the rest of these fruits are on struggle? Hold on, now,
you know a man go in a pineapple, come out
here kicking and screaming. Okay, don't act like that that
(24:32):
a pineapple get giving you coladas? They're giving overpowered, aren't they?
Aren't they getting overpowered? Easily. Now, why is that happening?
You know what, I will attract this statement your honor
only because you know, when you eat something and there's
something you don't like in it, the first thing you
tasted the thing you don't like. Mm hmm. Maybe that's
(24:54):
what's happened. Maybe, so I will I will attract my
previous statement. But what I will say. What I will
say is that the planting gives you a lot of flavors.
It gives you a lot of options. It gives you
a lot of things that you can do that the
banana doesn't. It does give you a lot of meal
(25:17):
options that the banana does not. I'm not I'm not
even disputing. I'm just saying, if we're talking about greatness,
all right, greatness? You think that a fruit you unzip
is greater than this other fruit that you unzipped. Come on,
(25:39):
all you've given me is nasty candy. You candy, I've
given you peak flavors. Giving banana laffy. Taffy should be
burned in a trash fire. Anybody, this is the other
thing this might Nana taffy shouldn't even be donated to
the needy. That's the stop. If you're give out banana
(26:00):
paty at halloweens. You put a razor blade in my apple.
I would take a razor blade in an apple before
I took a packet of banana afrot? How and dare
I think you wanted to say, how very dare you? So?
Look my thing listen you think on me wronghead? No, no, no, no.
(26:25):
My thing is you can take a banana to the
head off the rip when you one zip. All right,
plantain has to been manipulated. It has to be heated,
it has to be dried, it has to be cool.
That has to be mushed. It has to be all
these things because on its own baseline, straight out of
the earth, the way that the Lord gave it to us. Side.
(26:48):
But it's not edibles. Just you're not just biting into
a plantain soon as you get ahold of one. That's
not what's happening without a great where you can't eat
a green anything and listen to apple. Yeah, but I'm saying,
even when the plantain is ripe and ready, it's ready
to still get worked on. It's still like what your
fruit does is a relay, right, It's what my fruit
(27:10):
does is a sprint. Throwing it out there, just saying
if you want in the same in the same way
that you can eat a banana, raw it once it's
ripe and zip it, eat it, you can eat a
plantain like that. Most people don't. Should you can't? I
(27:30):
know what I'm saying. You can? But should you? Just
because you can do something that means you should do something?
Is that what you do? Are you out here just
taking plantas as soon as you see them, ripping them open,
biting them down? That's what we all know that You've
got to let a plantain get ripe right, Okay, even
when it's ripe, right? Are you just biting into it?
(27:52):
Or other people that eat it? In another way? I
don't eat sushimi, but there are other people out here
eating fish fresh after art just hand in ocean. I'm
not that person do So why do they are when
they bite into it? What is that? What is that?
(28:14):
Right now? That's a great question. You said it three
times and I let it slide. That is an amazing
question for it. And I would love if the first
time you watch someone eat sushibi, they just to themselves quietly,
went are a when you imitate somebody eating doesn't make noise. Depends.
(28:38):
There's some people. If I'm talking about how they were eating,
I just make the face of how they were eating.
But if I'm talking about like, okay, so this is
this is to digress. This is very funny to me.
This is like, this is like peak funny to me. Okay,
So my uncle where he would be eating stuff, he
would this is the same uncle that opened his foot
(29:00):
with the microwave to take soup out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I got it. If you are not aware of Josh
Johnson's comedy, he tells a joke about his uncle um
burning his foot with soup because he had a microwave
on the floor, which is one of the most uncle
things you can do. Yeah, he's done that with LFE
together another counter. Eddie doesn't have a counter, that's why
(29:24):
it's on the floor. But he literally could have just
used the box that the microwave came in. He has options.
He chooses to live like this. Oh my god. So yeah,
his uncle uses his foot. But the thing is, it's like,
but so he used the foot to take the bowl
out the microt because he could have just been over
This is where men can't be choosed so then whenever
(29:47):
he's eating something he really loves, like loves, loves, loves
for the bobbles heart like a little kid loves. He
can't eat something good without humping. So then so it.
But it's not a musical home. It's a creepy home.
So then he'll bite in it something like and it's
(30:11):
consistent like a dying car from a distance. Yep, it's
not a home like m it's none of those. It's
just him biting and just and if you break it up,
he will act like he doesn't hear it. I do know.
(30:33):
I was in college at the first time I saw
grown man do that. This guy was like working with
hep was like in one of our shows, were like
a crown adult man. He had ice cream and he
had a song in his heart Jack Yeah everything, Yeah,
a whole little It wasn't a song something, but he was.
I was like, what's what's going on? He's like, oh,
(30:56):
what are eat things that I like? I like to
hume about it. I was like, Okay, let your life
for him. Did you see the thing on Instagram where
that where that bride? They were filled with that bride
and she was enjoying her wedding bill, and so she
was like this and she was chewing, and then she
saw the camera. She was like, I think I saw her.
She's like, yeah, listen, it's your wedding day and your
(31:23):
food is good. Bitch turned up, Like, listen, if I
get a wedding day, if the Laura provides, I'm at
the fool on my wedding day. Jack, everybody have a
slipping slide of this, bitch. I don't know, I don't
know what can happen. All right, this could end up
accidentally being a wedding in the last two days. Who knows.
We're gonna be We're gonna be drinking, a DJ, gonna
(31:45):
be lit. There will not be a band because I
hate bands at weddings. Mm hmm oh. There's nothing more
annoying than a fucking banding away. What's the what's the
difference to the don't do that DJ? Don't if the
band is good, want because the band is limited in
what they can play. But if you ever list the
(32:06):
band cannot play swag, surf and cany We don't know that.
Don't bring the right instruments. Josh bring the swag, Joshua,
bring the surfboard. Joshua Elizabeth Johnson. If you believe Joshua
Elizabeth Johnson, I will not be treated this way, fucking
(32:37):
dare unless this is a band that can play. I
gotta have a black band, and I have a black
not like a wedding band. It's like a black band,
a band at a black wedding. Out of here? Can
a band play the wibble? I don't want to do
this with you. I don't want to do this with you.
You bob can't even electric slide, Elizabeth, I can't. I can't.
(33:01):
So you're just gonna go ahead and attack me off properly? Yeah,
probably can electrics line. So I guess my thing. I
I think, m hmm that bananas are still cheaper than plantains. Well,
(33:25):
plantains aren't sold by the bunch, But doesn't that make
them much more expensive by not selling them by the bunch?
I don't know what's the unit price versus by the pound.
The last time I checked, bananas were twenty nine cents
a pound. In organic bananas for forty nine cents a pound?
And so what are plantains usually going for? The plantain
(33:46):
is cheaper? Got anything else, Elizabeth? You guys are gonna
read they be all this podcast. He I mean, listen,
(34:08):
you try. I'll say this. I have been amazed and
how hard you have worked to present your banana argument.
I mean you even wore a banana yellow hoodie. Mm hmm.
I came through, bully. You were worried I was gonna
(34:29):
say something about this hoodie. I'm not scared of you.
Good because people act like that. I'm not a nice lady, Josh.
So listen, we're gonna kick this over to you, the listeners,
(34:51):
because Josh has really just dedicated himself to just losing
what the delay on that was beautiful. Bananas are great.
(35:15):
If you agree, let us know alright. Plantains are amazing
and versatile. If you want to be right, don't let
DULs say trash our beloved flavor. Okay, what beloved, our
beloved fruit, our potassium, our beloved vitamin. Plantains have all them.
(35:37):
I looked it up. Now when you cook them out, now,
when you cook them out, all right, I can take
that banana raw. All right, you can eat a plants
ain't raw. Moth. People don't go you can, but should
you you know what we're gonna see. Hold on, hold on,
if you're a bunch of sand in my mouth. I'd
bite right into a raw plattein. You have decided need
(36:00):
to live like a seven really? Yes me, yes, it's surprising.
I thought you were a nice, sophisticated man. Okay, all right, propaganta,
all right, bana propaganda. You know you know we're just
(36:23):
gonna do people like bananas. I'm just gonna ask. I'm
just gonna ask this Internet. How about I asked the
internet if people know what plant aids are? I googled this.
People also ask what percentage of the population like? Is bananas? Right?
(36:46):
Why do people like banana so much? Why banana's gross?
Why do not? The first thing is on the urban
list things only people who hate bananas understand. Now, mind you,
I don't like bananas. I'll eat banana upbread because the
bread has found a way to really. Finally, so do
(37:07):
the banana and put it in its place where it
can help be a part of the flavor profile and
not dominated like a bullet. So once again, we're gonna
kick it over to you, the listener. Let us know
how you feel about plantains, how you feel about bananas,
how you feel about them verses each other? Maybe you
love both, does one edge it out over the other.
(37:28):
And look, maybe maybe you love the thing or you
hate the thing more than our argument could take into account.
All right, I understand, I really do get it if
you love plantains so much that my immaculate argument fell
on death be here, So I understand that, right, I
(37:49):
even get how maybe you could have been swayed by
some of the lies and propaganda that my co hosts
throughout at Bananas. All right, But I hope that you'll
let us know how you feel. I hope you'll hit
us up, tell us how you're enjoying the show. Tell
us if there's anything else that you want us to
(38:10):
talk about, versus anything else you wants to talk about,
what's on yours. Why Josh Johnson is living in a
fool's paradise, Johnson is out here in the clouds, all right, Okay, Sean,
(38:34):
Josh Johnson has not only defamed me, slandered me. This
is a this is all record, This is all wax.
So I think it's libel talk about I'm spreading lies
and propaganderer knowing good damn well it his American Christian mind, Okay,
that he has been coming from my neck the whole time.
(38:57):
He No, this ain't how we usually, This ain't how
we usually get down, but Josh Johnson, it started to
take things with personal Jesus. Okay for me right now.
(39:18):
I don't think anybody ever said, don't you dare pray
for me? I'm making my closing argument. Shut up, boy,
So I knew what you were doing. I knew this
prayer once it since here you were praying around you,
but you were praying it was my closing statement. But
then the Lord fell up, the spirit of the Lord
(39:40):
fell upon my heart. It since my ankles are messed
up and I cannot dance like David danced. I don't know.
There are people on this listen to this podcast. I'm like, man,
I know they're Christian, but why they gotta keep talking
about it? Oh wait, they need me and rewrite, so
(40:01):
I'm gonna run. Uh they just text here. Okay, So
thank you so much for listening to hold up with me,
do this this loan and Josh Johnson. John's aston shows
coming up. Please look on his website in his Instagram.
He literally just ran out of the room. Thank you
for listening to hold up and just remember Josh is
(40:22):
always wrong. Bye bye. Everybody go, this has been hold up.
(40:45):
We've covered conscious rap versus club bangers, bars versus body wash,
diners versus waffle houses, all sorts of things. What else
should we be talking about? We want to know from you.
Let us know, drop us a comment, or hit hold
up on social at the Daily Show, h
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