July 9, 2026 • 35 mins
Constance Zimmer is redefining midlife and in part two of her conversation with Jennie, they go even deeper into the friendships that have surprised and saved them, the book that completely shifted her perspective on turning 50, and the media empires they're building to make sure no woman goes through this chapter alone.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Welcome
back to I Choose Me. I'm talking to Constant Zimmer,
who has just been nominated for an Emmy, you guys
for her role in Love Story. She absolutely shines as
Carolyn Bessett's mother Anne. Bravo, my friend. I can't wait
(00:24):
for you all to hear the rest of our conversation,
so let's jump back in. Congrats, Constant, so excited for you.
I wanted to talk to you about female friendships because
I know our kids went to school. First of all,
everybody not in the same grade, but we would see
each other on campus a lot. The female friendships are
talked about a lot, and some, you know, stay, some go.
(00:47):
Have you had the same friends forever or do you
find that people come in and out of your life
for whatever reason?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah, I'm my friendships keep changing, altering, some by choice,
some not by choice. I definitely in this mid life range.
I have met a whole new group of friends that
(01:16):
I have become closer to in a shorter amount of
time because we're so open and so honest, and we
talk about everything, and so all of a sudden, you've
become so close so fast, which that I did not
anticipate or see.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I mean, you know, Heidi, who is my co.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Host and of the podcast, like I met her in
twenty twenty during COVID, you know, over Zoom because of
a project that she was the writer and showrunner of
and I was attached as the star. And you know,
and she has in these last years, I mean, she's
(02:01):
become like my closest and nearest and dearest friend.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
And did I see that happening.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
No, But she came at me with such a presence
and an honesty and like a mentor that I had
really never had before. And I was like, ooh, this
is cool, Like that's what sixty looks like. Holy shit,
it's amazing. So like, I, you know, I've noticed that
(02:29):
a couple of my friends that are much younger than me,
because I have a lot of friends that are much
younger than me, and they I don't think they've not
understood this transition, right, And I don't know how to
explain it except to say, like you'll.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
See, like shit shifts changes.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, And it's like and it's not that I do
not love those friends any less, it's just there's a
whole different, all these different mind fields that I need
to go through with other people that are experiencing it
at the same time.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
So I know through it. That's about hard.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And also you accepting the fact that men having mentors,
having other women that you look up to and that
you learn from. That was a whole new feeling for
me after I turned fifty. Like I don't know why exactly,
but it definitely changed. And so the other friends that
weren't teaching me or showing me by example or sort
(03:30):
of leading the way, I was less interested in hanging
out with because I want, I so desperately want to
grow and evolve and you know, be the best person
I can be. And you sort of like weed out
the fringe, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, and I think too, think about it right, I
mean again, I can say this because this is our experience,
which is, you know, when you have kids, there's a
whole group of friends that become your friends because your kids,
and then the kids get older and the kids start
having opinions, and then you lose those friendships because the
(04:07):
kids are not friends anymore. And you're like, you really
like the parents, but wait, I have to go do
a play date over here, and so I can't come
over here now. And then that like weirdly just starts
to transition away.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Does it fizzle out for you? Or you the person
that's like, hey, this relationship is kind of reached its end.
Do you like you know? Because I don't, I never
know what to do, you know, you start to like
not talk as much. And then because I have, you know,
and being older, having been through all those phases, and
now my younger friends who are going, you know, having
(04:40):
their kids and their lives are full of kids stuff,
I'm thinking, Okay, well, I feel as if I've lost
a friend, but I fully understand where they are in
their life and what's their priorities. But now, at a
certain age, you really the divide happens.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, I definitely think it was a again that goes
back to people pleasing right that, like I think I
would let things, I would hold on for dear life. No,
come on, come on, come on, please still like me,
we still like each other. Let's make it work, let's
figure it out, please please please, And so then it
would become more of like, you know, a fizzle out,
whereas at this age, I'm like, I don't know the
(05:20):
fucking time right, it's just the band with no yeah,
and you're just like, either I can meet you or
I can't. Like, that's it and that's all I can
give you. And if you're gonna be mad at me,
you're gonna be mad at me. I'm sorry, but that's
all I can do right now. So if you're okay
with that, great, Because like, I have friendships with girls
that I've known since I was eighteen, and I talked
(05:42):
to them once a year and it's okay because we're
living our lives and we're grown ass fucking women.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Nobody's mad about you not calling them.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
No.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I mean, for the first time in my life, I
forgot my friend's birthday. And this is one of my
friends I've known since I was eighteen, and I remember
the day the next day and I texted her.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
And I was like, oh my god, oh my god,
oh my god, I forgot.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I didn't fucking wish you happy birthday and your birthday,
I'm so sorry, and I felt horrible.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I've been there, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
And she said, you have so much going on. I
do not fault you at all.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
You know you're here, you're saying it now.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I love you, you know, it's okay. And I was like, Okay,
it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
And that we don't we shouldn't have to have that
validation in order for it to be okay. We should
be able to sort of like comfort ourselves and remind ourselves,
Oh my gosh, you're dealing with a lot right now.
But I still feel guilty though, you know, like I
still feel that like I've disappointed them or I'm letting
them down. Yeah, but it's just the way it is.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well, it's also like, yeah, because I don't know if
you were this in your life, but like I was
always the friend that always put the card in the mail,
that always remembered the birthday, that always got the present,
that set up the lunch, that set up the breakfast
to celebrate that da da and that just started going
(07:19):
away because I was like I can't I can't hold
it all together. I can't hold everybody together. Like someone's
got to help pick up the slack hair.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, definitely, I've absolutely felt that shift because all my
life I was like the one that did the planning
and made it all happen and had the special celebrations
for Easter, whatever, like hosted the parties. I just can't
do it anymore, like physically and mentally cannot do it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
But that goes back to people pleasing.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
And then it ties into not giving a fuck yeah anymore. Yeah,
And I'm sorry if that's disappointing to someone. And it
doesn't mean I don't tricky, because that can be seen
as like, oh, you're so wrapped up in yourself in
your career and you know all of that, But yeah,
I am right now, Urry, I've spent my whole life,
(08:13):
you know, raising you have one of three, raising these
humans that took all of me, and now I'm trying
to give myself some of that attention.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
And hm, right, well, and I think too.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Listen again, it's a man's world, right, Like, anytime a
woman puts herself first, it is looked down upon. And
that is even someone who decides not to get married
and not have kids.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
It's like, how selfish? How dare you?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And it's like, no, this is my choice and what
I want to do for my life, right, But nobody
would ever look at a man who decided to not
get married and not have kids and be.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Like, how dare you?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
How selfish of you instead they're like, oh my god,
you built a multi billion billion dollar company because you
put yourself first.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
How cool? So it's that's all it is is.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
It's just like we have been fashioned and told that
when we put ourselves first, we are being selfish. And
what happens later in life is less people are paying
attention to you. So you realize, oh, I can go
(09:32):
put myself first and some people might not even notice,
Like it's this weird permission of a tunnel that you're like,
are people even going to see that I didn't do that?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Like you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I know, it's so liberating though it's my last thing ever. Yeah,
when you are paid less attention to, Like I know,
it doesn't sound like that could possibly be true, but
there's such other it's like a freedom in it.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, you know, I'm curious. Did you have you read
this book called The Upgrade?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
No? Oh my god, Jenny.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
That book also got me through the weird three years
of confusion because Luanne Brisandine, who is a neurological doctor, scientist,
like fucking supernova of a woman, she doesn't talk about
She doesn't use the word perimenopause or menopause. She only
uses the word the upgrade because she talks about how
(10:35):
physically our bodies are shifting to put ourselves first. So
it is something that you actually cannot stop from happening,
even if you try and fight it, it will fight back.
Parts of your brain are shrinking and others are growing.
(10:56):
And every time I would read a chapter or I
would listen to her talking about it.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
I was like, Oh my god, yes, that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
How fucking crazy that nobody has said that this time
in our lives is an upgrade.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
It's a trip, and you don't talk about it until
you've experienced it, and then you're like, I have to
tell everyone that this is what happens just authentically to
women as we get older.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It's it's the best. It's like. And I would always
think when people would say, oh, I love being fifty
and I was like thirty, I'd like, what are you
talking about? But it's it's fifties are the greatest, and
you know, talking to Heidi, she said that sixties are
even better. I feel like there's, you know, so much
(11:50):
around the conversations that we're allowed to have now as
women our age, and that we're there were allowing ourselves
to have unapologetically that is changing just the narrative for
the future for our girls.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Right, and I mean it is.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
You know, I hate for us to take all the credit,
but gen X is fucking kicking ass in the awareness
and conversations around what it means to be a woman
in her fifties to day, to not compare me to
a woman in her fifties even from ten years ago,
(12:29):
because there is we are the first generation as like
in Mass right in Mass that is really making it
a movement and giving the power back to women so
they can be excited about getting here. And then we'll
(12:49):
do it for sixty, We'll do it for seventy, and
we'll do it for eighty.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
We'll just keep setting this new standard.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
New norm. Yeah it's acceptable.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah, it's so good.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Feels really it feels really good. How would you say
that your path to motherhood affected like the trajectory of
your career and your life because you're a couple of
years older than me, and you waited a little longer
(13:22):
to have your daughter in your life than I did.
I was a really young mom by you know, people's standards.
But do you think like, how did how did becoming
a mom. Just change you.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Well, I you know, I have a silly story because
I met my second husband when I was thirty five,
so I had already been married and divorced by thirty five, and.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
I was told that I couldn't get pregnant.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So I was like, I can willy nilly, like, no
birth control, get off birth control, don't use condoms. I
can't get pregnant with my husband now. And we had
only been together for a year. And I was going
in to get my blood work done because I was
(14:25):
gonna go have surgery because I had fibroids in my uterus,
which is why they tell you can't get pregnant.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Pregnant.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I don't fucking believe that nonsense. So obviously I went
to go get my blood work to do my pre
op for the surgery to go get the fibroids out,
and the woman came back in and she was like,
you can't have the surgery because you're pregnant. I was like,
what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
What I want to find out?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
I know.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I thought I was on an episode of Punked with
Ashton Kutcher, because that was a big show at the time,
and I was on a TV show and I thought,
oh my god, I'm unpunked, I'm being pumped.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
This is fucked up.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
It's messed up.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Yeah, and that wasn't the case.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
And another part of the story is that me and
my now husband, we were on a break when I
found this out.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
So I was like, oh, what the fuck, what the fuck?
What do I do?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
But you know, lo and behold it worked out in
my favor and yeah, and we have an eighteen year
old child, so it definitely changed me, just in a
way that it was not my plan. So I was
just rolling with it as it came. And the writer strike,
(15:44):
that first writer strike, you know, seventeen sixteen years ago,
six fifteen whatever. Anyways, I that was happening.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
While I was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, so I did my whole pregnancy when like the
whole business was on strike. So like, oh, well, this
timing works out great. But yeah, I mean it shifted everything.
I think having a kid is a lot of fucking
work physically, emotionally, mentally.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Especially as they get older. Like I got to be honest,
toddlers were easy, right, Like you fed them and you
clean up after them, and you put them to bed.
But didn't you know, having these young women daughters and
you know, knowing what they're facing out there in the world. Yeah,
(16:42):
and not letting that just like consume you with concern
and worry.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yeah, all of the above.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I mean, I think it's you know, what I've been
thinking about a lot lately is how we basically we
as a.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Species, we change every decade. We change.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
So like when you think of a child, any child
from zero to ten, there's like.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Three four, five.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Personalities in that first ten year block. Okay, Then from
like ten to twenty, there's like definitely a lot of
personalities in there. Then you start going, oh then twenty
to thirty, you know, it's a little less. Thirty to
forty it was a little less, and like fifties is
(17:37):
why you go, oh, this is me this I figured
it out right. So it's like you figure it out
and then you're like, oh, what is this this version
that has all those decades right? Like it's like that's
so interesting to me. So it's like why do.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
They Why is it design that we have to wait
so long to figure out who we are?
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Because I think we need life. Yeah, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
But don't you think our kids feel like they know
who they are? Like yes, I mean we probably thought
that too when we were their age.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
That's what youth is for. I mean, youth is wasted
on the young because it's you don't realize it until
that part is over and then you're like, oh shit,
did I use that time wisely? How did I do?
What did I do there? But yeah, I mean I
think that's just life. Like that's what life is for,
(18:30):
is being here and figuring out your your purpose And
a lot of times you don't know that until you've
tried things and that didn't work and this felt good
and that didn't feel good, and I don't know do.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
You ever trip out on just like being a human
being every day?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Like?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Who?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
How?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Why?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Every single day? I do? I trip out more on it?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I'll be honest through grief because when you lose somebody
that you felt was going to be here forever or
that should still be here, it makes me look at
being a human so differently where you're just like why them?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Like why? I am such an EmPATH?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And that is my hardest struggle as being an EmPATH
is I feel like there are way too many people
that are not here any longer that I do not
understand why. And then there are people who are here
and it feels like they're never going to fucking die,
(19:47):
And you're like, why when this person is alive and
they're causing so much pain?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Why, Like that is where I just I go why
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Mean any sense?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
No, mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Well you've been married to us, you're since twenty ten?
Is that correct?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Yes, very good.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
I'm really inspired long you know, by long lasting marriages,
especially in the industry that we are in. Seems like,
you know, they're few and far between. My things and
flow right in a relationship, especially in the context of
the entertainment business, and you know, our travel schedules and
(20:32):
our workloads and like, you know, being pulled apart. I
think a lot more than a normal couple would be.
My husband, by the way, also loves us.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
You know that.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
He's like I said, I'm having constant on the pod
today and he's like, oh my god, talking about her
husband and tell her I love them. Those two they
could just talk and we could leave the building. It
wouldn't matter.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Yeah, we could love.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
What are your secrets?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
You know?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
How do you choose your relationship. I mean now, especially
that your daughter is flowing the coop and she's doing
her thing as a young adult, like, how do you
now shift and especially being women in our stage where
we are focusing more on ourselves, how do you keep
(21:23):
your relationship just as important? Because it, you know, it
has taken for me, it has taken up more of
a backseat that because of my daughters, right, and they
stop meeting you as much. And then you feel the gap,
you know, or the the absence that you notice it,
(21:44):
and then you're like, Okay, I got to start working
on this relationship more. What is your secret to you know?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I don't know that I have a secret, because I
think some days I'm not doing it very well at
all at all.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
I think the.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Going through the confusion of menopause before people were talking
about it was our most challenging time because I didn't
understand what was happening to me.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yep, and he didn't either, no exactly.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
And you know the greatest thing that I would say
if you, I wouldn't even call it a secret.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
I would tell it type every.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Woman, don't keep it a secret during this transition of
life is when you learn something teach them because it
helps them to understand that it's not personal, right, because
all of it feels very personal, and I would get
(22:52):
mad that I was like, this is not about you,
like I don't know what is happening or anything. I
don't know what what's going on, and so like I
take I took Russ on board for like some of
my projects, some of my midlife projects, because I wanted
him to read all the stuff I was reading.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I wanted him like he would at the end of
the day.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
He'd be like, oh my god, I just read this
insane study. You know that women between you know, forty
five and fifty five is the highest percentage of divorce.
And he's like that is so trippy. You know, it's
like so like it was. It was bringing him into
the conversation, not not pushing him out and going like
I'm going to go figure this out without you, because
(23:39):
once he was getting the knowledge that I was getting,
there was a softness and a like holy shit, like
I'm so.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Sorry, man, look at I see what you're dealing with
now in a different way.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yeah, you have to bring them into the conversations. They
wanted me such good advice.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
No, seriously, because I think our tendency is to hunker
down and figure our shit out, and then we really
expect ourselves to act a different way because of what
we know now. But the other your partner is kind
of clueless to your whole journey. So it's really important.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, And there is like a whole movement out there
of men who are actually like doing these kinds of
you know, videos about like you have a partner or
a wife or a you know, somebody, a mom, a
sibling or whatever going through this time, Like here are
the things you need to realize, Be patient, be kind,
(24:40):
you know, you know, it's like all and and I
don't know, maybe it's easier coming from another man, but
you know, I loved it because Russ would go and
have coffee with his friends who were also in marriages
or relationships with women at this age too, and and
he was like.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Well, have you talked to them about this, that and
the other thing?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And he realized that he was becoming the guy that
was helping the other guys. And I was like, oh,
that's so sweet, you know, like I love the ear
sharing your information and not feeling.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Weird about like going.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh, like we had a tough time, like that was
hard getting through that period, and so that I thought
was really good.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
So like, really, that's that's it.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
The secret is just not keeping them out of the
conversation or the knowledge that you're learning whatever you're going
through in life.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Okay. So in twenty twenty, you turn fifty. Yeah, and
to celebrate the milestone, you co founded a media company
called The Midlife Collective what you were just talking about,
and you launched your podcast Talk fifty to Me, which
I am excited to be on.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
We were so excited to have you with your.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Writer partner Heidi.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, and you've described the show as sort of a
reframing of your fifties fiercely funny and frank conversations, which
I love. Tell me more about the media company aspect
of it.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Well, there was the podcast idea with Heidi, because Heidi
had such a following and women would meet her on
the street and they would like cry their eyes out
and say like thank you so much. I feel seen
for the first time in my life. And I was like,
oh my god.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Because of the characters she was writing.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
No, because of who she was on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Right, just being her authentic self.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Right, and I was like, this is crazy. We need
to get this out in a bigger arena. And then
I had the idea of what to do with all
these women that are out of work in their fifties,
because there's a lot of us. And I was like,
where is the play like the Vagina Monologues. So then
(26:56):
I had the idea to create a play called the
Midlife Monologues. And what I did is I created a
got a creative community of like a hundred women which
you now need to come and join us, and that
is like the Vagina Monologues, but for women in midlife
(27:16):
to show one they can't not cast us because you
need me, you need us, and also to show why
storytelling is missing for this decade of a woman's life.
So then I developed I'm in development on that. And
then I was like, we got approached to me and
(27:40):
the woman who are co creators of Midlife Monologues, Abbi Epstein,
who's a documentary filmmaker who did the business of being
born with Ricky Lake and did the business of birth control,
and we partnered and then we got approached to co
direct a documentary called Her Second End Act.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Because of the Midlife.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Monologues, and so we're also directing this documentary, and so
we were like, what do we do with all of
these projects, Like we need to we need a place
for everything to come.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
So it's this. We call it like our tent, you know,
like our umbrella.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Is we all of these projects are under this umbrella.
And then what we wanted to do was use it
as a place for everyone with midlife stories, everybody using
their platform to be so that you could have like
a one stop shop like what are the best books
about midlife or aging or being in your fifties or
(28:40):
perimenopause or whatever. What are the best TV shows? What
are the podcasts, what are the So we're just gathering
all of this information about this time and putting it
under this umbrella so that people will have one place
to go to kind of decide like, oh, I want
to watch a movie that's about this, I want to
(29:01):
read a book, I want to listen to a podcast.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
So that's what the media company is.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
And then eventually we would like to help push people's stories,
whether it's getting an IP for a book and saying
we will get this book made, we will get your
script made, we will try and sell this TV show,
like basically using the power of all the celebrities that
(29:27):
we have in the community to say, oh, I can
get that script to Jenny Garth.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Yes, I will call her. I will. So that's what
the company.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Is for, is it's like a LinkedIn Yeah pretty much. Yeah,
exactly in mid life women that have amazing ideas and
needs and it's.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Great, yeah and need more, need more eyeballs, you know,
and how can we help you? Like it's like Julie
Fla said, who is one of our founders? So it's
myself Abby Epstein and Julie Fla said founded the Midlife Collective.
But she always says, like all ships rise, and like
right now with the Midlife Collective, we're on tour and
(30:09):
we're doing this dressing Room Confessions tour, which we started
for the Midlife Monologues. It was like a way to
get out into the public and get women to give
their anonymous stories so that we could use that storytelling
in creating the play. And then we had to stop
taking stories because we had to write the play. So
now those stories are a part of the documentary, which
(30:32):
are then a part of gathering statistics like what are
pim women lacking. What are they the most mad about,
the most ashamed of, the most wish that they had
in their community. And we've been on tour with this
and that's also a part of Midlife Collective, is gathering
stories for the documentary and just to use so that
(30:55):
all women can see they're not alone. Because the stories,
when you give somebody a place to just anonymously kind
of talk to themselves in the mirror, it's really incredibly
moving and raw.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
And it's been a part of this.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
You know, I didn't I had no idea this was
what was going to come out of. Like these ideas,
it's just like keeps like blossoming and blossoming, and it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
It's really beautiful.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Yeah, I had the pleasure of being on your pod.
You did a pod swap and it was really fun.
So everybody watch out on your socials for when those
are going to air. We will for sure be promoting them,
of course, because we want you to see it. I
just love you. I love I love your just honesty,
and you know, I love that we've known each other
(31:52):
for a long time and we're able to like kind
of reconnect yet and different stage in our lives in
a whole different way. So that's it's just like hopeful
for me and comforting.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, I have to say I when I saw your
whole I Choose Me movement, I was like, fuck, yeah, Jenny, Yes, yes,
like that is what we need to be doing. Like
this is like doesn't this feel so good in your core?
Not only for yourself, but to be giving that back
(32:24):
to other women?
Speaker 3 (32:26):
It is.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
It's I'm moved because I feel like we're both doing
the same you know, we're both in that phase and
we're I find personally more fulfillment in this work than
in any acting role I've ever done. I'm not sure
how you feel about it.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Yeah, I mean I agree because it's I mean, look,
it's it's it's more us obviously, it's more controlled.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
We decide more of it.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
And also because there's no characters that exist life us
out there, so like we are becoming the characters that
we would like to see and if we can't see
them on screen, we can be them in real life.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
And that feels powerful.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
It really does. Yeah, Constance Zimmer, before I let you go,
I need to know what was your last I Choose
me moment?
Speaker 2 (33:25):
I think coming on this podcast because I have so
much chaos going on in my life right now, and
I remember saying like, I'm going to choose to do
that for myself. I'm going to take an hour out
of the chaos. I'm going to take a shower, I'm
going to put lotion on, and I'm going to just
(33:49):
go in the space because i can hear all the
chaos happening outside of these doors. And this was me going, yeah,
but I'm going to do this for myself because this
matters for me.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I'm so glad it mattered for you, because it really
it helped me close a loop I don't know on
some old stories I had around our friendship that I
created in my mind for whatever the reasons that were happening,
you know, to us around us, and I just I
feel I've really connected with you. Just say that. And
(34:24):
I'm so deeply happy for what is happening for you
and your career because you are a hard worker, and yeah,
I really look up to you, and I'm just so
glad that you were here and that this was your
eye choose me moment.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Oh well, thank you, Jenny. I'm happy too, because I do.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I it makes me realize that you do come back
to the people who see you, you know, for who
you are, and all the other stuff like doesn't fucking matter.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Nope, I love you.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
I love you too,
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Welcome
back to I Choose Me. I'm talking to Constant Zimmer,
who has just been nominated for an Emmy, you guys
for her role in Love Story. She absolutely shines as
Carolyn Bessett's mother Anne. Bravo, my friend. I can't wait
(00:24):
for you all to hear the rest of our conversation,
so let's jump back in. Congrats, Constant, so excited for you.
I wanted to talk to you about female friendships because
I know our kids went to school. First of all,
everybody not in the same grade, but we would see
each other on campus a lot. The female friendships are
talked about a lot, and some, you know, stay, some go.
(00:47):
Have you had the same friends forever or do you
find that people come in and out of your life
for whatever reason?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah, I'm my friendships keep changing, altering, some by choice,
some not by choice. I definitely in this mid life range.
I have met a whole new group of friends that
(01:16):
I have become closer to in a shorter amount of
time because we're so open and so honest, and we
talk about everything, and so all of a sudden, you've
become so close so fast, which that I did not
anticipate or see.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I mean, you know, Heidi, who is my co.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Host and of the podcast, like I met her in
twenty twenty during COVID, you know, over Zoom because of
a project that she was the writer and showrunner of
and I was attached as the star. And you know,
and she has in these last years, I mean, she's
(02:01):
become like my closest and nearest and dearest friend.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
And did I see that happening.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
No, But she came at me with such a presence
and an honesty and like a mentor that I had
really never had before. And I was like, ooh, this
is cool, Like that's what sixty looks like. Holy shit,
it's amazing. So like, I, you know, I've noticed that
(02:29):
a couple of my friends that are much younger than me,
because I have a lot of friends that are much
younger than me, and they I don't think they've not
understood this transition, right, And I don't know how to
explain it except to say, like you'll.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
See, like shit shifts changes.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, And it's like and it's not that I do
not love those friends any less, it's just there's a
whole different, all these different mind fields that I need
to go through with other people that are experiencing it
at the same time.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
So I know through it. That's about hard.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And also you accepting the fact that men having mentors,
having other women that you look up to and that
you learn from. That was a whole new feeling for
me after I turned fifty. Like I don't know why exactly,
but it definitely changed. And so the other friends that
weren't teaching me or showing me by example or sort
(03:30):
of leading the way, I was less interested in hanging
out with because I want, I so desperately want to
grow and evolve and you know, be the best person
I can be. And you sort of like weed out
the fringe, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, and I think too, think about it right, I
mean again, I can say this because this is our experience,
which is, you know, when you have kids, there's a
whole group of friends that become your friends because your kids,
and then the kids get older and the kids start
having opinions, and then you lose those friendships because the
(04:07):
kids are not friends anymore. And you're like, you really
like the parents, but wait, I have to go do
a play date over here, and so I can't come
over here now. And then that like weirdly just starts
to transition away.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Does it fizzle out for you? Or you the person
that's like, hey, this relationship is kind of reached its end.
Do you like you know? Because I don't, I never
know what to do, you know, you start to like
not talk as much. And then because I have, you know,
and being older, having been through all those phases, and
now my younger friends who are going, you know, having
(04:40):
their kids and their lives are full of kids stuff,
I'm thinking, Okay, well, I feel as if I've lost
a friend, but I fully understand where they are in
their life and what's their priorities. But now, at a
certain age, you really the divide happens.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, I definitely think it was a again that goes
back to people pleasing right that, like I think I
would let things, I would hold on for dear life. No,
come on, come on, come on, please still like me,
we still like each other. Let's make it work, let's
figure it out, please please please, And so then it
would become more of like, you know, a fizzle out,
whereas at this age, I'm like, I don't know the
(05:20):
fucking time right, it's just the band with no yeah,
and you're just like, either I can meet you or
I can't. Like, that's it and that's all I can
give you. And if you're gonna be mad at me,
you're gonna be mad at me. I'm sorry, but that's
all I can do right now. So if you're okay
with that, great, Because like, I have friendships with girls
that I've known since I was eighteen, and I talked
(05:42):
to them once a year and it's okay because we're
living our lives and we're grown ass fucking women.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Nobody's mad about you not calling them.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
No.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I mean, for the first time in my life, I
forgot my friend's birthday. And this is one of my
friends I've known since I was eighteen, and I remember
the day the next day and I texted her.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
And I was like, oh my god, oh my god,
oh my god, I forgot.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I didn't fucking wish you happy birthday and your birthday,
I'm so sorry, and I felt horrible.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I've been there, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
And she said, you have so much going on. I
do not fault you at all.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
You know you're here, you're saying it now.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I love you, you know, it's okay. And I was like, Okay,
it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
And that we don't we shouldn't have to have that
validation in order for it to be okay. We should
be able to sort of like comfort ourselves and remind ourselves,
Oh my gosh, you're dealing with a lot right now.
But I still feel guilty though, you know, like I
still feel that like I've disappointed them or I'm letting
them down. Yeah, but it's just the way it is.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well, it's also like, yeah, because I don't know if
you were this in your life, but like I was
always the friend that always put the card in the mail,
that always remembered the birthday, that always got the present,
that set up the lunch, that set up the breakfast
to celebrate that da da and that just started going
(07:19):
away because I was like I can't I can't hold
it all together. I can't hold everybody together. Like someone's
got to help pick up the slack hair.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, definitely, I've absolutely felt that shift because all my
life I was like the one that did the planning
and made it all happen and had the special celebrations
for Easter, whatever, like hosted the parties. I just can't
do it anymore, like physically and mentally cannot do it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
But that goes back to people pleasing.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
And then it ties into not giving a fuck yeah anymore. Yeah,
And I'm sorry if that's disappointing to someone. And it
doesn't mean I don't tricky, because that can be seen
as like, oh, you're so wrapped up in yourself in
your career and you know all of that, But yeah,
I am right now, Urry, I've spent my whole life,
(08:13):
you know, raising you have one of three, raising these
humans that took all of me, and now I'm trying
to give myself some of that attention.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
And hm, right, well, and I think too.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Listen again, it's a man's world, right, Like, anytime a
woman puts herself first, it is looked down upon. And
that is even someone who decides not to get married
and not have kids.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
It's like, how selfish? How dare you?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And it's like, no, this is my choice and what
I want to do for my life, right, But nobody
would ever look at a man who decided to not
get married and not have kids and be.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Like, how dare you?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
How selfish of you instead they're like, oh my god,
you built a multi billion billion dollar company because you
put yourself first.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
How cool? So it's that's all it is is.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
It's just like we have been fashioned and told that
when we put ourselves first, we are being selfish. And
what happens later in life is less people are paying
attention to you. So you realize, oh, I can go
(09:32):
put myself first and some people might not even notice,
Like it's this weird permission of a tunnel that you're like,
are people even going to see that I didn't do that?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Like you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I know, it's so liberating though it's my last thing ever. Yeah,
when you are paid less attention to, Like I know,
it doesn't sound like that could possibly be true, but
there's such other it's like a freedom in it.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, you know, I'm curious. Did you have you read
this book called The Upgrade?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
No? Oh my god, Jenny.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
That book also got me through the weird three years
of confusion because Luanne Brisandine, who is a neurological doctor, scientist,
like fucking supernova of a woman, she doesn't talk about
She doesn't use the word perimenopause or menopause. She only
uses the word the upgrade because she talks about how
(10:35):
physically our bodies are shifting to put ourselves first. So
it is something that you actually cannot stop from happening,
even if you try and fight it, it will fight back.
Parts of your brain are shrinking and others are growing.
(10:56):
And every time I would read a chapter or I
would listen to her talking about it.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
I was like, Oh my god, yes, that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
How fucking crazy that nobody has said that this time
in our lives is an upgrade.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
It's a trip, and you don't talk about it until
you've experienced it, and then you're like, I have to
tell everyone that this is what happens just authentically to
women as we get older.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It's it's the best. It's like. And I would always
think when people would say, oh, I love being fifty
and I was like thirty, I'd like, what are you
talking about? But it's it's fifties are the greatest, and
you know, talking to Heidi, she said that sixties are
even better. I feel like there's, you know, so much
(11:50):
around the conversations that we're allowed to have now as
women our age, and that we're there were allowing ourselves
to have unapologetically that is changing just the narrative for
the future for our girls.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Right, and I mean it is.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
You know, I hate for us to take all the credit,
but gen X is fucking kicking ass in the awareness
and conversations around what it means to be a woman
in her fifties to day, to not compare me to
a woman in her fifties even from ten years ago,
(12:29):
because there is we are the first generation as like
in Mass right in Mass that is really making it
a movement and giving the power back to women so
they can be excited about getting here. And then we'll
(12:49):
do it for sixty, We'll do it for seventy, and
we'll do it for eighty.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
We'll just keep setting this new standard.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
New norm. Yeah it's acceptable.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah, it's so good.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Feels really it feels really good. How would you say
that your path to motherhood affected like the trajectory of
your career and your life because you're a couple of
years older than me, and you waited a little longer
(13:22):
to have your daughter in your life than I did.
I was a really young mom by you know, people's standards.
But do you think like, how did how did becoming
a mom. Just change you.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Well, I you know, I have a silly story because
I met my second husband when I was thirty five,
so I had already been married and divorced by thirty five, and.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
I was told that I couldn't get pregnant.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So I was like, I can willy nilly, like, no
birth control, get off birth control, don't use condoms. I
can't get pregnant with my husband now. And we had
only been together for a year. And I was going
in to get my blood work done because I was
(14:25):
gonna go have surgery because I had fibroids in my uterus,
which is why they tell you can't get pregnant.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Pregnant.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I don't fucking believe that nonsense. So obviously I went
to go get my blood work to do my pre
op for the surgery to go get the fibroids out,
and the woman came back in and she was like,
you can't have the surgery because you're pregnant. I was like,
what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
What I want to find out?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
I know.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I thought I was on an episode of Punked with
Ashton Kutcher, because that was a big show at the time,
and I was on a TV show and I thought,
oh my god, I'm unpunked, I'm being pumped.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
This is fucked up.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
It's messed up.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Yeah, and that wasn't the case.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
And another part of the story is that me and
my now husband, we were on a break when I
found this out.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
So I was like, oh, what the fuck, what the fuck?
What do I do?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
But you know, lo and behold it worked out in
my favor and yeah, and we have an eighteen year
old child, so it definitely changed me, just in a
way that it was not my plan. So I was
just rolling with it as it came. And the writer strike,
(15:44):
that first writer strike, you know, seventeen sixteen years ago,
six fifteen whatever. Anyways, I that was happening.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
While I was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, so I did my whole pregnancy when like the
whole business was on strike. So like, oh, well, this
timing works out great. But yeah, I mean it shifted everything.
I think having a kid is a lot of fucking
work physically, emotionally, mentally.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Especially as they get older. Like I got to be honest,
toddlers were easy, right, Like you fed them and you
clean up after them, and you put them to bed.
But didn't you know, having these young women daughters and
you know, knowing what they're facing out there in the world. Yeah,
(16:42):
and not letting that just like consume you with concern
and worry.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yeah, all of the above.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I mean, I think it's you know, what I've been
thinking about a lot lately is how we basically we
as a.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Species, we change every decade. We change.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
So like when you think of a child, any child
from zero to ten, there's like.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Three four, five.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Personalities in that first ten year block. Okay, Then from
like ten to twenty, there's like definitely a lot of
personalities in there. Then you start going, oh then twenty
to thirty, you know, it's a little less. Thirty to
forty it was a little less, and like fifties is
(17:37):
why you go, oh, this is me this I figured
it out right. So it's like you figure it out
and then you're like, oh, what is this this version
that has all those decades right? Like it's like that's
so interesting to me. So it's like why do.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
They Why is it design that we have to wait
so long to figure out who we are?
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Because I think we need life. Yeah, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
But don't you think our kids feel like they know
who they are? Like yes, I mean we probably thought
that too when we were their age.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
That's what youth is for. I mean, youth is wasted
on the young because it's you don't realize it until
that part is over and then you're like, oh shit,
did I use that time wisely? How did I do?
What did I do there? But yeah, I mean I
think that's just life. Like that's what life is for,
(18:30):
is being here and figuring out your your purpose And
a lot of times you don't know that until you've
tried things and that didn't work and this felt good
and that didn't feel good, and I don't know do.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
You ever trip out on just like being a human
being every day?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Like?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Who?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
How?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Why?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Every single day? I do? I trip out more on it?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I'll be honest through grief because when you lose somebody
that you felt was going to be here forever or
that should still be here, it makes me look at
being a human so differently where you're just like why them?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Like why? I am such an EmPATH?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And that is my hardest struggle as being an EmPATH
is I feel like there are way too many people
that are not here any longer that I do not
understand why. And then there are people who are here
and it feels like they're never going to fucking die,
(19:47):
And you're like, why when this person is alive and
they're causing so much pain?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Why, Like that is where I just I go why
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Mean any sense?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
No, mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Well you've been married to us, you're since twenty ten?
Is that correct?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Yes, very good.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
I'm really inspired long you know, by long lasting marriages,
especially in the industry that we are in. Seems like,
you know, they're few and far between. My things and
flow right in a relationship, especially in the context of
the entertainment business, and you know, our travel schedules and
(20:32):
our workloads and like, you know, being pulled apart. I
think a lot more than a normal couple would be.
My husband, by the way, also loves us.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
You know that.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
He's like I said, I'm having constant on the pod
today and he's like, oh my god, talking about her
husband and tell her I love them. Those two they
could just talk and we could leave the building. It
wouldn't matter.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Yeah, we could love.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
What are your secrets?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
You know?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
How do you choose your relationship. I mean now, especially
that your daughter is flowing the coop and she's doing
her thing as a young adult, like, how do you
now shift and especially being women in our stage where
we are focusing more on ourselves, how do you keep
(21:23):
your relationship just as important? Because it, you know, it
has taken for me, it has taken up more of
a backseat that because of my daughters, right, and they
stop meeting you as much. And then you feel the gap,
you know, or the the absence that you notice it,
(21:44):
and then you're like, Okay, I got to start working
on this relationship more. What is your secret to you know?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I don't know that I have a secret, because I
think some days I'm not doing it very well at
all at all.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
I think the.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Going through the confusion of menopause before people were talking
about it was our most challenging time because I didn't
understand what was happening to me.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yep, and he didn't either, no exactly.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
And you know the greatest thing that I would say
if you, I wouldn't even call it a secret.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
I would tell it type every.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Woman, don't keep it a secret during this transition of
life is when you learn something teach them because it
helps them to understand that it's not personal, right, because
all of it feels very personal, and I would get
(22:52):
mad that I was like, this is not about you,
like I don't know what is happening or anything. I
don't know what what's going on, and so like I
take I took Russ on board for like some of
my projects, some of my midlife projects, because I wanted
him to read all the stuff I was reading.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I wanted him like he would at the end of
the day.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
He'd be like, oh my god, I just read this
insane study. You know that women between you know, forty
five and fifty five is the highest percentage of divorce.
And he's like that is so trippy. You know, it's
like so like it was. It was bringing him into
the conversation, not not pushing him out and going like
I'm going to go figure this out without you, because
(23:39):
once he was getting the knowledge that I was getting,
there was a softness and a like holy shit, like
I'm so.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Sorry, man, look at I see what you're dealing with
now in a different way.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yeah, you have to bring them into the conversations. They
wanted me such good advice.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
No, seriously, because I think our tendency is to hunker
down and figure our shit out, and then we really
expect ourselves to act a different way because of what
we know now. But the other your partner is kind
of clueless to your whole journey. So it's really important.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, And there is like a whole movement out there
of men who are actually like doing these kinds of
you know, videos about like you have a partner or
a wife or a you know, somebody, a mom, a
sibling or whatever going through this time, Like here are
the things you need to realize, Be patient, be kind,
(24:40):
you know, you know, it's like all and and I
don't know, maybe it's easier coming from another man, but
you know, I loved it because Russ would go and
have coffee with his friends who were also in marriages
or relationships with women at this age too, and and
he was like.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Well, have you talked to them about this, that and
the other thing?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And he realized that he was becoming the guy that
was helping the other guys. And I was like, oh,
that's so sweet, you know, like I love the ear
sharing your information and not feeling.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Weird about like going.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh, like we had a tough time, like that was
hard getting through that period, and so that I thought
was really good.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
So like, really, that's that's it.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
The secret is just not keeping them out of the
conversation or the knowledge that you're learning whatever you're going
through in life.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Okay. So in twenty twenty, you turn fifty. Yeah, and
to celebrate the milestone, you co founded a media company
called The Midlife Collective what you were just talking about,
and you launched your podcast Talk fifty to Me, which
I am excited to be on.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
We were so excited to have you with your.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Writer partner Heidi.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, and you've described the show as sort of a
reframing of your fifties fiercely funny and frank conversations, which
I love. Tell me more about the media company aspect
of it.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Well, there was the podcast idea with Heidi, because Heidi
had such a following and women would meet her on
the street and they would like cry their eyes out
and say like thank you so much. I feel seen
for the first time in my life. And I was like,
oh my god.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Because of the characters she was writing.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
No, because of who she was on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Right, just being her authentic self.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Right, and I was like, this is crazy. We need
to get this out in a bigger arena. And then
I had the idea of what to do with all
these women that are out of work in their fifties,
because there's a lot of us. And I was like,
where is the play like the Vagina Monologues. So then
(26:56):
I had the idea to create a play called the
Midlife Monologues. And what I did is I created a
got a creative community of like a hundred women which
you now need to come and join us, and that
is like the Vagina Monologues, but for women in midlife
(27:16):
to show one they can't not cast us because you
need me, you need us, and also to show why
storytelling is missing for this decade of a woman's life.
So then I developed I'm in development on that. And
then I was like, we got approached to me and
(27:40):
the woman who are co creators of Midlife Monologues, Abbi Epstein,
who's a documentary filmmaker who did the business of being
born with Ricky Lake and did the business of birth control,
and we partnered and then we got approached to co
direct a documentary called Her Second End Act.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Because of the Midlife.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Monologues, and so we're also directing this documentary, and so
we were like, what do we do with all of
these projects, Like we need to we need a place
for everything to come.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
So it's this. We call it like our tent, you know,
like our umbrella.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Is we all of these projects are under this umbrella.
And then what we wanted to do was use it
as a place for everyone with midlife stories, everybody using
their platform to be so that you could have like
a one stop shop like what are the best books
about midlife or aging or being in your fifties or
(28:40):
perimenopause or whatever. What are the best TV shows? What
are the podcasts, what are the So we're just gathering
all of this information about this time and putting it
under this umbrella so that people will have one place
to go to kind of decide like, oh, I want
to watch a movie that's about this, I want to
(29:01):
read a book, I want to listen to a podcast.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
So that's what the media company is.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
And then eventually we would like to help push people's stories,
whether it's getting an IP for a book and saying
we will get this book made, we will get your
script made, we will try and sell this TV show,
like basically using the power of all the celebrities that
(29:27):
we have in the community to say, oh, I can
get that script to Jenny Garth.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Yes, I will call her. I will. So that's what
the company.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Is for, is it's like a LinkedIn Yeah pretty much. Yeah,
exactly in mid life women that have amazing ideas and
needs and it's.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Great, yeah and need more, need more eyeballs, you know,
and how can we help you? Like it's like Julie
Fla said, who is one of our founders? So it's
myself Abby Epstein and Julie Fla said founded the Midlife Collective.
But she always says, like all ships rise, and like
right now with the Midlife Collective, we're on tour and
(30:09):
we're doing this dressing Room Confessions tour, which we started
for the Midlife Monologues. It was like a way to
get out into the public and get women to give
their anonymous stories so that we could use that storytelling
in creating the play. And then we had to stop
taking stories because we had to write the play. So
now those stories are a part of the documentary, which
(30:32):
are then a part of gathering statistics like what are
pim women lacking. What are they the most mad about,
the most ashamed of, the most wish that they had
in their community. And we've been on tour with this
and that's also a part of Midlife Collective, is gathering
stories for the documentary and just to use so that
(30:55):
all women can see they're not alone. Because the stories,
when you give somebody a place to just anonymously kind
of talk to themselves in the mirror, it's really incredibly
moving and raw.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
And it's been a part of this.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
You know, I didn't I had no idea this was
what was going to come out of. Like these ideas,
it's just like keeps like blossoming and blossoming, and it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
It's really beautiful.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Yeah, I had the pleasure of being on your pod.
You did a pod swap and it was really fun.
So everybody watch out on your socials for when those
are going to air. We will for sure be promoting them,
of course, because we want you to see it. I
just love you. I love I love your just honesty,
and you know, I love that we've known each other
(31:52):
for a long time and we're able to like kind
of reconnect yet and different stage in our lives in
a whole different way. So that's it's just like hopeful
for me and comforting.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, I have to say I when I saw your
whole I Choose Me movement, I was like, fuck, yeah, Jenny, Yes, yes,
like that is what we need to be doing. Like
this is like doesn't this feel so good in your core?
Not only for yourself, but to be giving that back
(32:24):
to other women?
Speaker 3 (32:26):
It is.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
It's I'm moved because I feel like we're both doing
the same you know, we're both in that phase and
we're I find personally more fulfillment in this work than
in any acting role I've ever done. I'm not sure
how you feel about it.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Yeah, I mean I agree because it's I mean, look,
it's it's it's more us obviously, it's more controlled.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
We decide more of it.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
And also because there's no characters that exist life us
out there, so like we are becoming the characters that
we would like to see and if we can't see
them on screen, we can be them in real life.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
And that feels powerful.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
It really does. Yeah, Constance Zimmer, before I let you go,
I need to know what was your last I Choose
me moment?
Speaker 2 (33:25):
I think coming on this podcast because I have so
much chaos going on in my life right now, and
I remember saying like, I'm going to choose to do
that for myself. I'm going to take an hour out
of the chaos. I'm going to take a shower, I'm
going to put lotion on, and I'm going to just
(33:49):
go in the space because i can hear all the
chaos happening outside of these doors. And this was me going, yeah,
but I'm going to do this for myself because this
matters for me.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I'm so glad it mattered for you, because it really
it helped me close a loop I don't know on
some old stories I had around our friendship that I
created in my mind for whatever the reasons that were happening,
you know, to us around us, and I just I
feel I've really connected with you. Just say that. And
(34:24):
I'm so deeply happy for what is happening for you
and your career because you are a hard worker, and yeah,
I really look up to you, and I'm just so
glad that you were here and that this was your
eye choose me moment.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Oh well, thank you, Jenny. I'm happy too, because I do.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I it makes me realize that you do come back
to the people who see you, you know, for who
you are, and all the other stuff like doesn't fucking matter.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Nope, I love you.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
I love you too,
Host
Jennie Garth
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